TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

Chuck J.

Mmmm, Catnip !
Dave the Director - Battlefield Teegeeack

Dave the Marriage Counselor - Kidman & Holmes

Dave the Case Supervisor - McPherson

Dave the Husband - where's Shelly?

and, finally, since the above four things are the worst PR coverage that Scientology has ever witnessed...

Dave the Public Relations Specialist

Dave the Lawyer
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
Dave the Lawyer
Given Scientology's expansion and stats...

Dave the Promoter

Dave the Executive

And since no one knows anything about what Scientology is supposed to promote like the Purif, ARC, communication, the Tone Scale and all that and everybody knows all about the super secret confidential materials that Scientology was in charge of protecting and that's smattered all over the internet, South Park and numerous websites, books, documentaries and newsprint...

Dave the RTC Chairman of the Board
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Dave the Director - Battlefield Teegeeack

Dave the Marriage Counselor - Kidman & Holmes

Dave the Case Supervisor - McPherson

Dave the Husband - where's Shelly?

and, finally, since the above four things are the worst PR coverage that Scientology has ever witnessed...

Dave the Public Relations Specialist

.
LOL

That was a truly outstanding list of DAVE MAGAZINE volumes!

As you have faithfully and continuously evidenced your on-sourceness regarding The Honorable Reverend Miscavige, we would like to invite you to a very exclusive tech briefing for super-upstat VIPs on this planet! In order to pick up your ticket, we first need you to send a Petition to your case supervisor to be given an approved invitation to receive this advanced r-factor. The information in it has never been revealed before but you will be there during this brief breath in eternity to hear how Mr. Miscavige has just completed the single greatest technical project in Scientology's entire history!

I really can't tell you too much (before you sign the legal agreements and secure a bond) but I can say that Reverend Miscavige has re-recorded ALL of LRH's 671 audio lectures in his own voice!!! In the process, all of Ron's grammatical and punctuation errors were repaired and restored to perfection, as Ron originally intended it.

People on the pilot program who have heard just the first lecture have written euphoric glowing success stories that routinely say that they received more case gain on it than on all the other Bridge actions they have previously done combined!

Sample Success Story:

"Wow! I can only say wow! COB really did it this time! Every single word
COB said caused me to blow charge, handle my ruin
and come uptone and into present time!"
- Billy Blowdown (OT VIII)


FAQ:

Question: I heard the first audiotape and it was just Miscavige repeating word for word what Ron said in the original lecture. I don't get it.
Answer: Yes, COB faithfully duplicates the lecture and repeats Ron's exact words, but his delivery is how Ron originally intended it. The big breakthrough is that COB is using the newly discovered "Inflection Technology" wherein he really embeds into each word, clause and/or phrase the correct intention. Now people can finally understand what LRH was talking about!

Question: I still don't get it. All Miscavige did was just read the transcript of Hubbard's lecture. How is that supposed to be a "monumental technical achievement greater than fire or the wheel or Dianetics"?
Answer: It's all in HOW he says it. Mr. Miscavige has a deep and resonant baritone voice and he constantly uses sing-songy inflection so that people are not lulled into an anaten state by Ron's monotonous delivery.

Question: This sounds like total bullshit, why should I buy 671 audio lectures that I already purchased previously?
Answer: Technically speaking, it's not 671 lectures, it's 1,342 lectures. You are required to buy two (2) complete sets in case while you are listening to the first one and something goes wrong--you have a backup right there to help get you through it!

Question: I'm not interested in buying two more sets. In fact I am not buying that entire crap marketing gimmick about how Miscavige's sing-songy voice is anything except excruciatingly annoying!
Answer: Because you have not yet received the Briefing, you have an unfortunate lack of data. I can't tell you too much, but I can reveal that Rev. Miscavige's sing-songy delivery is based on a wholetrack discovery on the successful actions of unctuously insincere TV game show hosts and used car salesmen who speak in an uptone-sounding, super-bouncy manner.

.
 
Last edited:

guanoloco

As-Wased
Has there, seriously, been a bigger Scientology FAIL than David Miscavige?



The guy has single-handedly squashed Scientology into the mud and squandered away any remaining shreds of credibility or power a long time ago in a guh lack sea far, far away...

I mean, what an indictment into the UNWORKABILITY of Scientology. The biggest actual SP stat crasher of all time and he's the leader of the group.

Amazing.

Those knowing how to know and how to obnose and all aware of the PTS/SP tech can't even spot the biggest SP in Scientology's history. The biggest alter-is squirrel that Scientology has ever had and he's the leader!!
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
He squirreled lectures, books, courses, regging - everything he's put his hands on has crashed and burned - including Tom Cruise's career. Under Miscavige's tutelage Cruise went from the biggest Hollywood star of all time to a laughing stock. Just think of the PR fallout over Katie Holmes running away in the middle of the night. Good Gaaaaaaawwwd!!

Battlefield Earth
Lisa McPherson
The Basics
The Briefing Course
Confidential OT security - aka Xenu is a household name and what Scientology is known for - something that the average Scientologist has never heard of ever Joe Wog will tell you all about it

I've even heard that the OECs aren't even available any longer.

The only thing that this guy can do is kiss and make up with the IRS - which Hu666ard claimed was the SP of SPs. The ONLY thing worse than all the psychs throughout time and space was the IRS. And Miscavige hires them to structure Scientology!!!!

It's a perfect example of enantiodromia.

Miscavige as "make it go right", "sane", "on source", "ethical", "big being", "OT", "KSW" - it's a joke beyond joke.
 

Lee #28

Well-known member
^^^^^^^^

Did I read somewhere the that formation of the Sea Org....it's original purpose, was the protection, handling, and delivery of the upper level Scientology materials...?

Wasn't the Sea Org formed to protect the OT Levels...

And now, like you say.....it is all common knowledge.
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
^^^^^^^^

Did I read somewhere the that formation of the Sea Org....it's original purpose, was the protection, handling, and delivery of the upper level Scientology materials...?

Wasn't the Sea Org formed to protect the OT Levels...

And now, like you say.....it is all common knowledge.
Yeah, Lee, something like that. RTC...Sea Org..."upper management"...it was all to "protect" and "promote" Scientology and make it "safe".

He's like the Keystone Cops. Scientology is hated and avoided like the plague.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Has there, seriously, been a bigger Scientology FAIL than David Miscavige?



The guy has single-handedly squashed Scientology into the mud and squandered away any remaining shreds of credibility or power a long time ago in a guh lack sea far, far away...

I mean, what an indictment into the UNWORKABILITY of Scientology. The biggest actual SP stat crasher of all time and he's the leader of the group.

Amazing.

Those knowing how to know and how to obnose and all aware of the PTS/SP tech can't even spot the biggest SP in Scientology's history. The biggest alter-is squirrel that Scientology has ever had and he's the leader!!

When cults pick a leader, they always carefully scrutinize the applicant's resume and ensure that they have the necessary qualifications, including but not limited to:
  • Pathological Liar
  • Track record as a "make money--make more money" con man.
  • OT certifications (Operating Thug)
  • Exhibits all of the character traits of a 1.1 SP.
  • Has graduated/interned on the SOS tech (Science of Sadism)
  • Grinning condescension whilst handling the 7.7 billion DBs on this planet.
  • Infallible omniscience
  • Total Cause over your Total Freedom & Total Eternity.
  • Sports a "Total Certainty" sounding voice.
  • Able to leap tall obstacles (to planetary clearing) in a single bound
  • Exchanges in abundance! (e.g. deluxe goldish-toned bowling trophies and priceless gold-plated lapel pins).

.
 
Last edited:

Lee #28

Well-known member
Yeah, Lee, something like that. RTC...Sea Org..."upper management"...it was all to "protect" and "promote" Scientology and make it "safe".

He's like the Keystone Cops. Scientology is hated and avoided like the plague.
Yes, all true....But, what I'm talking about is back in the 1960s. Back at the Apollo and such. Pre-Flag Land Base even....

That was the original purpose of the Sea Org.....and they have failed miserably....

That the RTC and Miscavige moved into a top position above the Sea Org.....made it even worse... Spectacular crash!
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
--snipped for brevity--

Miscavige as "make it go right", "sane", "on source", "ethical", "big being", "OT", "KSW" - it's a joke beyond joke.
.
.

LOL!

EXPLANATION OF HOW THE MISANTHROPIC MISFIT MISCAVIGE
BECAME THE CELEBRATED & WORSHIPPED SPIRITUAL
LEADER OF ALL SCIENTOLOGISTS

ON THIS SLAVE PLANET

Because the "knowing how to know"
people are always the last to know.

Because Scientologists are trained to clay
demo
"how to spot a wicked 1.1 SP"--
not to actually spot one.

Because Scientologists "feel good about"
being lied to and/or lying to themselves.


.

.
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Wasn't the Sea Org formed to protect the OT Levels?
.
.

ANSWER: Yes! In 1967 Ron discovered and safely negotiated a path through the treacherously booby trapped level of OT III. He broke his back in doing so and nearly died! Thus Ron was primarily concerned about discovering a "SAFE" path thru the Wall of Fire for all Scientologists on this planet.

However, Ron also discovered that it was not SAFE for a Scientologist to study the OT III materials on land and thus he moved it to the safety of a sea-going ship. Perhaps it was SAFER because people are less likely to break their backs in a boat where water might provide a soft landing. On the other hand, maybe Ron was concerned that it would be SAFER because psychs and fifth invader aliens would be less likely to paddle out to sea in hopes of stealing the magical secrets of how Xenu implanted everyone with false pictures and false ideas.

SUMMARY: If Ron had not protected the SAFETY of Scientologists by keeping the implant tech secret, they might have discovered that the OT levels themselves that Hubbard was selling were the only actual implants in Scientology.

FREE BONUS SECTION: Years later Ron discovered that the OT III materials were not actually safe at sea and he moved the level back to land, inside buildings called "Advanced Organizations". Later still Ron discovered that some material was safer at sea and some not. For example OT VIII is only safe at sea, which is why the level can only be done on the Freewinds boat. However, SuperPower is only safe when it is in a building on land, thus Scientologists (for their own safety) were required to donate $200 million to construct the SuperPower building. Scientologists are not, themselves, able at this time to know where it is safe or not safe, which is why they need to carefully listen and follow directions from their spiritual guides like Hubbard and Miscavige.

.
.
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
.


.


ANSWER: Yes! In 1967 Ron discovered and safely negotiated a path through the treacherously booby trapped level of OT III. He broke his back in doing so and nearly died! Thus Ron was primarily concerned about discovering a "SAFE" path thru the Wall of Fire for all Scientologists on this planet.

However, Ron also discovered that it was not SAFE for a Scientologist to study the OT III materials on land and thus he moved it to the safety of a sea-going ship. Perhaps it was SAFER because people are less likely to break their backs in a boat where water might provide a soft landing. On the other hand, maybe Ron was concerned that it would be SAFER because psychs and fifth invader aliens would be less likely to paddle out to sea in hopes of stealing the magical secrets of how Xenu implanted everyone with false pictures and false ideas.

SUMMARY: If Ron had not protected the SAFETY of Scientologists by keeping the implant tech secret, they might have discovered that the OT levels themselves that Hubbard was selling were the only actual implants in Scientology.

FREE BONUS SECTION: Years later Ron discovered that the OT III materials were not actually safe at sea and he moved the level back to land, inside buildings called "Advanced Organizations". Later still Ron discovered that some material was safer at sea and some not. For example OT VIII is only safe at sea, which is why the level can only be done on the Freewinds boat. However, SuperPower is only safe when it is in a building on land, thus Scientologists (for their own safety) were required to donate $200 million to construct the SuperPower building. Scientologists are not, themselves, able at this time to know where it is safe or not safe, which is why they need to carefully listen and follow directions from their spiritual guides like Hubbard and Miscavige.

.
.

Here's a throwback:


This whole "safe" thing makes me think of what was said when he started the Sea Org to begin with (from Stupid post 2157):


OK, here's "The Wall of Fire" by L Ron Hubbard! A little piece of promo that I received lately.

So in January and February of this year I became very ill - almost lost this body - and somehow or another brought it off and obtained the material, and was able to live through it. I am very sure that I was the first one that ever did live through any attempt to attain that material. This material I am talking about, of course, is very upper-level material and you will forgive me if I don't describe it to you in very broad detail because it's very likely to make you sick too.

Now, my task for the remainder of the year up until now - which is to say, the ensuing six months - was to find some way to safely bring through individuals. It was not enough for I myself to have lived through it - other people would have to do so as well when they reach Clear and tried to move up from that point above. And about five or six weeks ago I finally was able to make a breakthrough which brought people through this zone safely. It is relatively easy to do now, providing one is an extremely well-trained auditor. And the band of fire can be walked through bringing one out the other side unscathed, providing he applies exact technology. No one is in danger of colliding with this at lower levels, since it concerns the formation of the society itself in which we live. A person is Clear on the First Dynamic. It is necessary to become OT to be cleared on all dynamics, including that of society and that of the physical universe.

So I have made this breakthrough. And I don't mind telling you it took some doing.

In all the eighteen years this has been the toughest one that I have faced. And I faced it, so that it would not be tough for you to face when you come to it.

I formed the Sea Organization of OTs in order to have an area where a Scientologist could come, who could safely then walk through this last wall of fire. As the road to OT has to do with confronting, and confronting life and confronting both the evil and the good thereof, the people of the Sea Organization are also becoming very experienced in the handling and confronting of MEST. This, however, is not part of the program for people we put through this last barricade.

Objections to learning the ultimate truth of this universe and what happened to it and why, are so deeply implanted in people that it is necessary for any extremely advanced level to be relatively out of the common area and not planted on the crossroads of the world.​

That's the spiel and if you look close to it you might call it spew.

Forming the Sea Organization where a Scientologist could come and be "safe"?

For real? GTFO!!!

The Sea Organization is one of the most aggressive environments that literally despises the "professional PC" who doesn't take "responsibility" after they "know" the deadly serious game we play! They hate the public and prey on them like piranhas!

The road to OT has to do with "confronting"?

For real? GTFO!!!

Ron ran from everything, always...it's called Ron's "Blow and Squid-ink Tech"...learn it!!

How about "it is necessary for any extremely advanced level to be relatively out of the common area and not planted on the crossroads of the world"?

Good thing they didn't plant these in places like...say...Los Angeles, like right off of Hollywood Boulevard or something. Or...maybe...someplace like Florida within in hour of Orlando and Disney-fucking-World and the major cruise lines of the globe!! You know...next to an International Airport or some other crossroad...

I mean, let's think about this...

1) Any extremely advanced level should be out of the common area and not on the crossroads of the world.

2) OT 7 connotates an "extremely advanced level".

3) It is solo-audited by "thousands" across the world everyday where they live and are.

...therefore...

4) All of these people should be out of the common area and not on the crossroads of the world.

Hey! Maybe that's why you never see or meet any of these "thousands" of people or "millions" of adherents as claimed by the Co$?​
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
Scientology, in an effort to make it necessary for any extremely advanced level to be relatively out of the common area and not planted on the crossroads of the world purchased the FLAG Land Base in 1975.

It's an hour and 45 minutes from Disney World - built in 1971.

1623188654257.png

Disney World is right next to an international airport...close to the NASA space launches and both sides of Florida are loaded with the World's cruise lines.

Disney World gets just south of 17,000,000 annual visitors!!

8. Disney World’s Magic Kingdom, Orlando
Top 15 most-visited tourist attractions in the world, Disney World’s Magic Kingdom, Orlando, tourist places Disney World’s Magic Kingdom, Orlando; image credit www.flickr.com
Annual Visitors: 16,972,000


Disney World’s Magic Kingdom is the world’s most visited and best-known amusement park. Every year nearly 17 million people visit this park. In other words, we can say this is a must visit for any family.


There are so many classic sites and rides, but still, people come here mostly for the Cinderella’s castle. The castle is developed with a moat and built at special angles. It appears even grander than its actual height of 189 feet.


The theme park is now the world’s 8th most visited tourist attraction. Some say it the most magical place on Earth. Most notable features are –


Dumbo


The Mad Tea Party


Monsters Inc.


Laugh Floor Comedy Club



It's number 8 in the World's Top 15 Tourist Attractions.





That's how stupid Scientology is. I mean, that's not like the "crossroads of the world", right?
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
cross-posted from another thread
"Losing My Religion-The Future of Scientology"
- - -


These threads have a way of getting a little or a lot off track and off subject. It is the nature of human beings I would guess and in that spirit I have decided to add this little story instead of making a separate thread. When I was first in the cult I had previously read a book on Hypnosis. I think back then that I totally "got" Scientology. I told my course super at break time that I realized that Scientology is all about the power of suggestion and "conning" yourself to "improve and be a better person". I said that this was not a bad thing and that I totally agree with it if it helps people to be happier. The course super didn't like what I was suggesting and took it for "entheta" abruptly "acknowledged" me and switched the subject. He obviously thought I was saying Scientology was a fraud (it was but I meant it in a good way if you can believe that). I reasoned that the reactive mind was hypothetical and not real from reading Dianetics and thought that it doesn't matter as long as it gets results and makes people feel better. I believe Hubbard wrote Dianetics that way just to set you up anyway, so that it would be easier to accept his nonsense when I think about it now. I learnt that day that Scientologists really thought that the so called tech was real, that there really was a reactive mind. and that I better get in line. It strikes me as hilarious that way back when I had a genuine realization (not a "cognition") about Scientology so early on but in spite of that I was hooked on this cult.

Good stuff!

But your excellent post reveals another curious conundrum--or even a KSW Koan!


IF THE PC KNOWS THAT THE TECH THAT WORKS
IS ACTUALLY A "PCPC" (PRE-CLEAR PLACEBO CURE),
WILL IT STILL WORK?


--snipped for brevity--

At the time I actually agreed that the tech would work even if you knew it was a placebo. It was just a matter of persisting and making yourself let go and "believe", or at least that was how I saw it.
.


That's a fascinating concept!

If true, it would directly prove that SCIentology is, in fact--SODentology.

To wit, not Science. But instead, Suspension Of Disbelief.

Accordingly, we would then have the answer to why "The Most Dedicated Scientologist In The World" honor was awarded to a movie star.

Because actors are the world's leading experts on producing Suspension Of Disbelief in moviegoers AND personally when "mocking up" believable personas and staying in-character sufficiently to get others to buy tickets, join in and become a paying customer of the COS' COSplay.
.
 
Last edited:

Chuck J.

Mmmm, Catnip !
.
LOL

That was a truly outstanding list of DAVE MAGAZINE volumes!

As you have faithfully and continuously evidenced your on-sourceness regarding The Honorable Reverend Miscavige, we would like to invite you to a very exclusive tech briefing for super-upstat VIPs on this planet! In order to pick up your ticket, we first need you to send a Petition to your case supervisor to be given an approved invitation to receive this advanced r-factor. The information in it has never been revealed before but you will be there during this brief breath in eternity to hear how Mr. Miscavige has just completed the single greatest technical project in Scientology's entire history!

I really can't tell you too much (before you sign the legal agreements and secure a bond) but I can say that Reverend Miscavige has re-recorded ALL of LRH's 671 audio lectures in his own voice!!! In the process, all of Ron's grammatical and punctuation errors were repaired and restored to perfection, as Ron originally intended it.

People on the pilot program who have heard just the first lecture have written euphoric glowing success stories that routinely say that they received more case gain on it than on all the other Bridge actions they have previously done combined!

Sample Success Story:

"Wow! I can only say wow! COB really did it this time! Every single word
COB said caused me to blow charge, handle my ruin
and come uptone and into present time!"
- Billy Blowdown (OT VIII)


FAQ:

Question: I heard the first audiotape and it was just Miscavige repeating word for word what Ron said in the original lecture. I don't get it.
Answer: Yes, COB faithfully duplicates the lecture and repeats Ron's exact words, but his delivery is how Ron originally intended it. The big breakthrough is that COB is using the newly discovered "Inflection Technology" wherein he really embeds into each word, clause and/or phrase the correct intention. Now people can finally understand what LRH was talking about!

Question: I still don't get it. All Miscavige did was just read the transcript of Hubbard's lecture. How is that supposed to be a "monumental technical achievement greater than fire or the wheel or Dianetics"?
Answer: It's all in HOW he says it. Mr. Miscavige has a deep and resonant baritone voice and he constantly uses sing-songy inflection so that people are not lulled into an anaten state by Ron's monotonous delivery.

Question: This sounds like total bullshit, why should I buy 671 audio lectures that I already purchased previously?
Answer: Technically speaking, it's not 671 lectures, it's 1,342 lectures. You are required to buy two (2) complete sets in case while you are listening to the first one and something goes wrong--you have a backup right there to help get you through it!

Question: I'm not interested in buying two more sets. In fact I am not buying that entire crap marketing gimmick about how Miscavige's sing-songy voice is anything except excruciatingly annoying!
Answer: Because you have not yet received the Briefing, you have an unfortunate lack of data. I can't tell you too much, but I can reveal that Rev. Miscavige's sing-songy delivery is based on a wholetrack discovery on the successful actions of unctuously insincere TV game show hosts and used car salesmen who speak in an uptone-sounding, super-bouncy manner.

.
I've don't want to brag, OK I do...... humble brag: I've done this super fantastic COB Rundown !

I don't want to give away the farm but, it's just like being in the presence of COB and getting one of his famous Severe Reality Adjustments - in person! After I iced down the bruises on my face I realized I had blown tons of charge!

Amazing! Thank you COB!
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member


* * * An all new feature on this Super-Stupid thread * * *


THERE'S ONLY 1 THING WRONG
WITH SCIENTOLOGY BOOKS

Part 1



If Scientology knew how to solve the problems of work---
Why do they imprison their top workers in chain lockers,
RPF gulags, "The Hole" and throw them overboard
off ships if they make a mistake at work?

.
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member

THERE'S ONLY 1 THING WRONG
WITH SCIENTOLOGY B
OOKS
Part 2



If Scientology knew how to make people happy---
Why are 99% of all worldwide Scientologists
so unhappy that they leave Scientology?


/



.
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.


THERE'S ONLY 1 THING WRONG
WITH SCIENTOLOGY B
OOKS
Part 3



If Scientology is able to tell book buyers what Scientology is---
Why doesn't anyone who reads the book know that it
costs over $600,000 to find out that Scientology
is mainly about chasing non-existent 75M
year old space aliens and pretending
to free them so you can get
magical powers?


/

.
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
.


THERE'S ONLY 1 THING WRONG
WITH SCIENTOLOGY B
OOKS
Part 4



If Scientology has a "new slant" on life---
Why can't they tell Scientologists that their new life
requires that church executives continuously lie to them,
trick them & defraud them out of all their time/money
in order to sell them 'Total Freedom' and 'Eternity', two
subjects nobody in the cult has the slightest clue about.


.
.
 
Last edited:
Top