TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

Xenu Xenu Xenu

Well-known member
STAND is often a source of humor.

Why I Trust L. Ron Hubbard | STAND (standleague.org)

Jim Meskimen is our guest writer and this Ron love is old, boring, and has all been said before and then I read this:

Occam’s famous razor applies: simpler solutions are more likely to be correct than complex ones. The simplicity is that L. Ron Hubbard was a man who from a very early age demonstrated a strong intention to help others, and who, throughout his life, was single-minded in his desire to do something positive for Mankind.

I mean Occams's razor is one thing but to hear or read a Scientologist invoking it is quite a thing to behold.

You know Jim, if you really understood Occam's Razor you would have left Scientology a long time ago.

You would have realized that the old PTS/SP nonsense is a complex solution that explains why Scientology is under a lot of criticism. In turn, you would have realized that the simpler solution is that Scientology has critics because Scientology is a cult and a fraud and that the critics speak the truth. You would have remembered all the red flags that you saw that would back up this simple truth as well.

So, why I trust L. Ron Hubbard is simple as well. I simply don't.

Occam's Razor.:roflmao:
 

Dotey OT

Under New Management
STAND is often a source of humor.

Why I Trust L. Ron Hubbard | STAND (standleague.org)

Jim Meskimen is our guest writer and this Ron love is old, boring, and has all been said before and then I read this:

Occam’s famous razor applies: simpler solutions are more likely to be correct than complex ones. The simplicity is that L. Ron Hubbard was a man who from a very early age demonstrated a strong intention to help others, and who, throughout his life, was single-minded in his desire to do something positive for Mankind.

I mean Occams's razor is one thing but to hear or read a Scientologist invoking it is quite a thing to behold.

You know Jim, if you really understood Occam's Razor you would have left Scientology a long time ago.

You would have realized that the old PTS/SP nonsense is a complex solution that explains why Scientology is under a lot of criticism. In turn, you would have realized that the simpler solution is that Scientology has critics because Scientology is a cult and a fraud and that the critics speak the truth. You would have remembered all the red flags that you saw that would back up this simple truth as well.

So, why I trust L. Ron Hubbard is simple as well. I simply don't.

Occam's Razor.:roflmao:
Sad that this comedian will be the last one in on the joke, if ever.
 

Dotey OT

Under New Management
Alright Danny, let's try this again. Start:




FLUNK!!!!!

More life, put more life into it. Start:





FLUNK!!!
MORE LIFE!!! NOT LIFE IN PRISON!!! START!!!






FLUNK!!!!!

EDIT: Dotey writes a pink sheet: word clear TR1, read the tone scale and do mood drills until you can fake it better than that. Then run away.



 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

THERE'S ONLY 1 THING WRONG
WITH SCIENTOLOGY B
OOKS
Part 5



If Scientology has unlocked the fundamentals of thought---
Why is it that when anyone has a thought about Scientology that
does not agree with L. Ron Hubbard's thoughts, they are word
cleared, false data stripped, investigated, assigned lower
conditions, issued a non-enturbulation order, harassed,
threatened, stalked, terrorized, declared SP, lied to,
tricked, fair gamed "and if possible, of course, ruined
utterly" by the fundamentals of thought control?



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Alright Danny, let's try this again. . .
.


WHOA!
DAMN!
OMG!
LOL!




AND NOW, A HIGH-TONED CELEBRITY OT AND
OR (OPERATING RAPIST) DEMONSTRATES THE
SCIENTOLOGY EMOTIONAL TONE SCALE...



REPORTER
Anything at all....like, how are you feeling
about your chances coming up?


MASTERSON

(head hanging downward with sulking apathetic gloom--
and then briefly soaring up to covert hostility)

I feel fantastic!*



* In the utterly bizarre virtual world of Scientology, it is virtually impossible to know whether Masterson was being bitterly sarcastic or actually applying Scientology tech by "postulating" and "mocking up" a winning high-toned beingness.


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
REF: The Celebrity OT Danny Masterson
.

Exactly brah. He's a goner. Vacaville? Is that where will he be doing criminon courses?

Still waiting for the under the bus throwing.
.

FIFY: . Still waiting for the under the Bluebird Motorhome throwing.

The only mystery remaining is HOW the cult will "dead agent" and trash the celebrity OT Danny Masterson. Here are some of the top vote getting excuses Scientology will try to use:

- - Danny was never a practicing Scientologist!​
- - Danny falsely attested to being in-ethics, which is a high crime in Scientology, so we kicked him out!​
- - Danny had misunderstood words on "The Way To Happiness" which does not order Scientologists to rape everyone.​
- - Danny, the being, is in fact a high-toned, ethical Operating Thetan. However his MEST body that is doing all the raping is much lower on the Bridge and criminally psychotic. Our church prefers to handle these religious matters internally rather than outsourcing our parishioners to psychs and prison wardens.​
- - Danny we just found out is a "plant" that was "run in" by evil communist governments--to sabotage our freedom technology so that they can lie, trick & enslave their people--which by the way is something we would never do!​

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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cross posted from another thread
"The cult is a rigged casino..."


1623354626514.png



FACT: In 71 years and all of the dozens of Scientology "processes", books, "rundowns" and advanced "OT" levels that guaranteed exteriorization--there is not one scientifically verified event in which a Scientologist ever went "exterior with full perception". And they call it a "science"!

FACT: It's much more than a science! it's a GUINNESS WORLD RECORD setting event! To wit, one where Scientology became history's first and only science that never conducted a scientific experiment, never once used the scientific method and never once published a peer reviewed and replicable scientific result.

I heavily protested the above promo when I was in. I went to all the right people and said it was a LIE. I was either auditing or CSing Ls for some 7 years. No one ever *EVER* went Exterior with full perception. Much less "and was able to maintain it"
.

WHAT DR. HUBBARD ACTUALLY SAID:
"When I was C/Sing the Ls I would never let a pre-OT leave the ship
unless he'd gone exterior with full perceptions and was able to maintain it."


WHAT DR. HUBBARD ACTUALLY MEANT:
"When I was C/Sing the Ls I would never let a pre-OT leave the ship
unless he'd gone bankrupt with full credit line borrowing and was able to F/N on it."



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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REF: The celebrity OT Danny Masterson's serial rape trial
.


Scientology is now blinklessly defending and thuggishly obstructing justice against a celebrity OT serial rapist---so this surely ranks far worse than the previous decade's Apostate Apocalypse!

We are now talking about the SUPERBOWL OF SCHADENFREUDE!

As the game is about to begin, everyone is invited to stand and sing along to "Oh Danny (Masterson) Boy":


O Danny Boy, the declares, the declares are coming
From glen to glen and down the mountainside
The winning's gone and all the sec check questions falling
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must deride.



O Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen and down the mountainside
The summer's gone and all the roses falling

'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide

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Chuck J.

Mmmm, Catnip !
.

REF: The celebrity OT Danny Masterson's serial rape trial
.


Scientology is now blinklessly defending and thuggishly obstructing justice against a celebrity OT serial rapist---so this surely ranks far worse than the previous decade's Apostate Apocalypse!

We are now talking about the SUPERBOWL OF SCHADENFREUDE!

As the game is about to begin, everyone is invited to stand and sing along to "Oh Danny (Masterson) Boy":


O Danny Boy, the declares, the declares are coming
From glen to glen and down the mountainside
The winning's gone and all the sec check questions falling
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must deride.



O Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen and down the mountainside
The summer's gone and all the roses falling

'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide

.
.
After Danny loses and gets jail time a whole lot of $cn. people involved in this are gonna be RPF'd. The midget of course who is directing this debacle can not be wrong, so all the db's who "screwed it up" are gonna pay, lol.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
After Danny loses and gets jail time a whole lot of $cn. people involved in this are gonna be RPF'd. The midget of course who is directing this debacle can not be wrong, so all the db's who "screwed it up" are gonna pay, lol.
.


Anyone who knows the Church Of Scientology knows that Miscavige wishes more than anyone can imagine that he can turn back the clock, and go back in time to when he could have PAID OFF those 3 or 4 rape accusers. He'd give anything if he could have thrown boatloads of cash at them for their silence. Right now if Miscavige had the ability, I suggest that he would very gladly sign a check for $100,000,000 (i.e. $25M each) to make this case go away. Why would he care how many zeroes were on the check when he signed it, it's not his money!


MISCAVIGE
Okay okay okay okay okay okay, I'll sign the cocksucking check!

DEFENSE LAWYER
Wait, I've got my 4 clients on the phone right now
and they changed their minds. They want $200,000,000 now!

MISCAVIGE
You fucking money-sucking bastard! Okay okay okay okay okay
okay okay okay, I'll sign the cocksucking check for $200,000,000.
(signs it)
There! But before I hand it to you I have just one question.

DEFENSE LAWYER
Okay, sure.

MISCAVIGE
Oh it's really nothing, I just thought after i give you the check
maybe we could be friends. I'd like to get to know you better.
I mean like, for example, I was just curious if you or
your kids own any pets that you are really fond of?


.


.​
 
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JustSheila

Well-known member
.

THERE'S ONLY 1 THING WRONG
WITH SCIENTOLOGY B
OOKS
Part 5



If Scientology has unlocked the fundamentals of thought---
Why is it that when anyone has a thought about Scientology that
does not agree with L. Ron Hubbard's thoughts, they are word
cleared, false data stripped, investigated, assigned lower
conditions, issued a non-enturbulation order, harassed,
threatened, stalked, terrorized, declared SP, lied to,
tricked, fair gamed "and if possible, of course, ruined
utterly" by the fundamentals of thought control?



.
:winner: and don’t forget being forcibly put on Objectives and forced to walk back and forth from one end of a room to another and told to look at the walls and touch them, turn around and do it again for hours.

Happened to me when I was in Scientology in the Sea Org for a few weeks and disagreed with something L Con wrote. My course supervisor arranged for me to get Objectives. WORST THERAPY EVER. :omg:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

PAPARAZZI CAPTURES L. DON HUBBARD IN A RARE "GOTCHA MOMENT"
OUT IN FRONT OF AOLA, BURNING UP INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE
IN DANNY MASTERSON'S SERIAL RAPE PROSECUTION


From another thread discussing how the cult
of Scientology is actively perpetrating
obstruction of justice on behalf of
a celebrity serial rapist.
[ LINK HERE ]
- - -


Posted by ILove2Lurk
I drove by AOLA a couple nights ago.
"What the Hell?"




"Someone's got some 'splaining to do!"

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
.


THERE'S ONLY 1 THING WRONG
WITH SCIENTOLOGY B
OOKS
Part 6

.





If Scientology truly discovered that putting the white bearded
"R-6 God" from a trillion year old implant on their book covers
would "restimulate" homo sapiens to immediately buy the book--
then why did it utterly fail to work on 4 successive books so badly
that the bearded magic sales guy was never used to promote again?

 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

This is an updated post from 10 years earlier that still bears a video with an inordinate number of gems exposing the brutally corrupt lying and sleazy perversions that high level Scientologists resort to when challenged to tell the truth.

This ten minute video if brimming with arrogantly certain Scientologists lying about their Fair Game policies that instruct them to lie! LOL


Contained in this video (starting around 07:00) is one of the most priceless exchanges I think i have ever heard with stammering, stuttering Scientologists trying to defend their cult's crime wave.

The lying is spectacular! (And if you want more cringefully bad lying go earlier and listen to the interview where Mike Wallace grills David Gaiman and the cringefully cult-costumed "priest" Ken Hoden!


MIKE WALLACE
....therefore you commit crimes going after Paulette Cooper?
You forge letters that bring her up on federal charges
that she is going to be a bomb thrower? You destroy her name?
You indulge in sexual innuendo? A church does that Mr. Fenniger?

MARIO FENINGER
(world famous pianist-celeb)

Well, I was not informed about all this.

MIKE WALLACE
You read?!

MARIO FENINGER
No. I don't.

OT CHURCH SPOKESWOMAN
You know what I do when i read that kind of stuff about Scientology?
I don't even read it.

MIKE WALLACE
Why?

OT CHURCH SPOKESWOMAN
Because it doesn't interest me.
Let the people who have to handle that handle it.
Because I have too much to do.
And I can't be bothered with that kind of stuff.
Let them handle it.
(interrupts Wallace, points triumphant finger)
Because WE WILL SURVIVE!

COMMENTARY: What was that again? How is Scientology the science of knowing how to know--one more time? She says:
"You know what I do when i read that kind of stuff about Scientology? I don't even read it."

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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THERE'S ONLY 1 THING WRONG
WITH SCIENTOLOGY B
OOKS
Part 7

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If (as claimed) "over 22M copies" of DIANETICS were sold. . .
Why is it that after 71 years, a lesser number of
Clears were produced? Zero, to be exact.



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
.

Image provided courtesy of the
forensic photo archives of
ILove2Lurk




QUESTION:
So what happens when that guy (the MAA, stage right above)
is called as an eyewitness in the Danny Masterson
Serial Rape trial and put on the stand to testify?





PROSECUTOR
So, we have established by your testimony that during the
period of time when L. Don Hubbard was running his own
personal "Burning Man Festival" and incinerating all of the
incriminating evidence of Masterson's Golden Age of
Serial Rapes, this photograph proves you were right
there several feet away as the MAA, ensuring that
no scraps were left unburned, is that correct?

AOLA MAA
Um....I guess so.

PROSECUTOR
And as "MAA" it was your job to ensure that
ethics was "in" and that nobody put any "counter intention"
or "other intention" on destroying all the evidence, is that correct?

AOLA MAA
Um....I guess so.

PROSECUTOR
And in this surveillance photo, you appear to be
scratching your head, as if you are confused. Is that correct?

AOLA MAA
Um...I guess so. I was confused about whether it
was okay to destroy tens of thousands of pages of
pc worksheets, sec checks, knowledge reports,
ethics interview and all the other junk where Masterson
was doing his lower conditions for causing a
PR flap by raping so many girls and getting caught.

PROSECUTION
So you say you were confused as to the policy--
can you explain that to the jury a little more clearly?

AOLA MAA
Sure, I didn't know if it was on-policy to burn up evidence
in a criminal case. I felt confused for a moment, but then
my senior r-factored me about the policy where Ron says
that in order to save the planet we have to burn the
midnight oil. So obviously Ron's policies want
want us to burn things to push the stats up.

PROSECUTION
And this makes sense to you?
It makes sense to burn up evidence of rapes?

AOLA MAA
Oh yeah, it sure does! I feel good about it
and I got a really nice F/N at the word clearer too!


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

:winner: and don’t forget being forcibly put on Objectives and forced to walk back and forth from one end of a room to another and told to look at the walls and touch them, turn around and do it again for hours.

Happened to me when I was in Scientology in the Sea Org for a few weeks and disagreed with something L Con wrote. My course supervisor arranged for me to get Objectives. WORST THERAPY EVER. :omg:

It's the most advanced technology in trillions of years.

TOUCHING WALLS!!!
L. Ron Hubbard guarantees that if you spend enough hours touching enough walls, you will "rise above" the "degraded beings" known as homo sapiens and gain super-human powers such as:

- - coming into present time for the first time in trillions of years!
- - going "flat" on the "control button" so that senior scientologists can safely control your
safe passage across the Bridge To Total Freedom!
- - gaining the miraculous power to operate "exterior with full perception" from your body
so that lifetime-to-lifetime you can retain all your memory and assets for "eternity"
Even full OT VIII's are sent back down to the very beginning of the lower "bridge" if they did not spend enough hours on objective processes touching walls. While they may be OT VIII, they are nevertheless still out of present time, unable to exteriorize and totally screwed if their body dies--unless they log more wall-touching hours!

PRO TIP: Based on all of the above technological discoveries & breakthroughs, the following axiom has been scientifically determined:


OT POWER & PROSPERITY IS EQUAL TO
NUMBERS OF HOURS SPENT TOUCHING WALLS


Ergo, the most OT beings on the planet at this time are construction workers specializing in putting up drywall.


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