HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
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WHEN SCIENTOLOGY SAYS THIS
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THEY REALLY MEAN THIS
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THEY REALLY MEAN THIS
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TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)
- Thread starter HelluvaHoax!
- Start date
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
SCIENTOLOGY'S TECH ON RAISING CHILDREN
SCN KID
Mommmmm, why can't I just to out and meet
my friends at the mall like all the other kids?
SCN MOM
You are a free being so you can do that. But
Ron states that when you route out of an org--you
need to first get meter checked to be sure that
nothing was missed.
SCN KID
But, I'm not in an org, this is my home.
SCN MOM
Well, son we use Ron's org board and tech in
this home so it is actually an organization. So, let's
get started. Here is the first question we need to check
on the meter: "Is the reason you are trying to blow because
you have undisclosed crimes?" That reads. What is it?
SCN KID
Me and my friends are just going to
the movies--I'm not trying to blow!
SCN MOM
The meter is reading. What are your crimes?
SCN KID
OMG! This is so stupid. Okay, two years
ago when you told me to clean my room
I was in a hurry that day so when I vacuumed
the floor I didn't vacuum under the bed.
SCN MOM
Fine! Do you have an earlier similar crime?
SCN KID
This again?! OMG, do I have to make stupid shit
up again?! Okay, seven hundred trillion years ago
I was supposed to vacuum up all the evil beings
on a planet, but I didn't vacuum up the part
near the North pole because it was totally
frozen and I figured that no beings
lived there. Okay? Can I go now?
SCN MOM
Your needle is floating. You can go to the movies but you need to
be back by 9pm for family muster, where your dad and I will be giving
you and your siblings a briefing about our family's
unprecedented wins that are helping Ron
to Clear this planet!
SCN KID
Whatever. Can I just leave now?
SCN MOM
Sure, as soon as you tell me what your amends project
is going to be in order to make up the damage.
SCN KID
What damage?
SCN MOM
The time when you failed to vacuum up beings at the
north pole, seven hundred trillion years ago? Hellloooooooo!!!
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
PART II
SO WHAT HAPPENS TO "SCN KID"
THE NEXT DAY AFTER THAT SESSION?
SCN KID
(on phone to friend)
Listen man, I gotta get outta my house this
weekend, my retarded Scientology parents are
driving me totally insane. I'm gonna go freakin'
psycho, you gotta help me get outta here!
SCN FRIEND
Okay, well just tell them that you're going to
the big Scientology event! I mean we can sneak
outta there after we take some selfies. Hey listen
I heard that a huge movie star is coming to the event,
like Tom Cruise or some junk---I mean Top Gun
was kinda a decent movie, let's go man!
SCN KID
A Scientology event?! WTF! I can't take it man! No way!
SCN FRIEND
Hey relax, it'll be okay, at least you won't have to
listen to your parents spew stupid cult shit for a few hours.
SCN KID
Yeah, you got a point actually. My head's gonna explode
if I have to hear my mom talking one more time about
cleaning up my room, or cleaning up the house or
cleaning up by-passed-charge on my case
or cleaning up any other kind of shit!
---THAT WEEKEND THEY BOTH ATTEND THE EVENT---
"So whattya say, ya gonna
clean this place up?!"
SCN KID
(in audience)
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
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VIDEO -"So whattya say, ya gonna clean this place up?!" (0:23)
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
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cross posted from another thread discussing orgs no long
pushing, selling & delivering AUDITOR TRAINING, which is
supposed to represent 50% of the gains from the "BRIDGE"
- - -
cross posted from another thread discussing orgs no long
pushing, selling & delivering AUDITOR TRAINING, which is
supposed to represent 50% of the gains from the "BRIDGE"
- - -
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Auditing is not a problem.
It can be very efficiently achieved by those flatscreens inside the Ideal Org's reception areas. With voice recognition technology (e.g. "Suri") already fully developed, church officials can create tiny auditing cubicles (8x10) and outfit them with one chair and a flatscreen.
PCs simply insert their charge card at the beginning of the session and when time begins to run out or approach their credit limit, a pleasant sounding alarm goes off and they can insert another card or follow the screen prompts, such as:
YOUR AUDITING SESSION WILL END IN
[insert digital countdown clock ticking down]
KINDLY INSERT ANOTHER CREDIT CARD OR
QUICKLY FIND SOMETHING YOU CAN COGNITE
ON BEFORE YOUR SESSION EXPIRES. TO
AVOID BEING ORDERED TO BUY REVIEW
HOURS REMEMBER TO LAUGH AUDIBLY
AND VOICE YOUR BIG WIN SO THE
AUDITOR CAN INDICATE YOUR F/N.
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[insert digital countdown clock ticking down]
KINDLY INSERT ANOTHER CREDIT CARD OR
QUICKLY FIND SOMETHING YOU CAN COGNITE
ON BEFORE YOUR SESSION EXPIRES. TO
AVOID BEING ORDERED TO BUY REVIEW
HOURS REMEMBER TO LAUGH AUDIBLY
AND VOICE YOUR BIG WIN SO THE
AUDITOR CAN INDICATE YOUR F/N.
.
Chuck J.
"Austere Religious Scholar"
Hey! I just realized I must be OT1 at least!.
THE PRICE OF FREEDOM!
A case study in how the priceless
Bridge levels became even pricier!
LETS PICK A RANDOM LEVEL
OT I
1972 PRICE OF OT I
$75
2012 PRICE OF OT I
$2,750
EXPLANATION OF WHY THE PRICE INCREASED 3700%: Good guess but--no--it wasn't inflation. $75 in the year 1972 would have a 2012 inflation value of $411 (not $2,750).
DESCRIPTION: The next level above "Clear" is Operating Thetan level I. COS promo describes is variously as:
- - "This Solo-audited level is the first step a Clear takes toward full OT abilities, and that first step is a fresh causative OT viewpoint of the MEST universe and other beings."- - "Extroverts a being and brings about an awareness of himself as a thetan to others and the physical universe."
ABILITY GAINED FROM OT I:
- - "Freedom from inability to identify self in relation to others and the physical universe." WHAT WAS THE ULTRA CONFIDENTIAL PROCESS RUN ON OT I? The Clear was given a sheet of paper with 13 things to do somewhere in public where there were people that could be observed. The Clear was tasked to look at the people and write down ultra-confidential observations like how many bodies they counted. The customer ran this process on themselves, by themselves--after which they turned in a piece of paper with their observations.
COS COST CONSIDERATIONS TO DELIVER OT I:
- - (1972): One sheet of paper with 13 instructions ($ 0.01)- - (2012): One sheet of paper with 13 instructions ($ 0.01)PROFIT MARGINS COMPARISION:
- - (1972): ($ 74.99)- - (2012): ($ 2,749.99)TECHNICAL ANALYSIS OF WHY THE PRICE OF OT I STRATOSPHERICALLY SOARED:
Why do Scientologists unquestioningly pay whatever price Hubbard tells them to pay?
- - Because Scientologists were told that the magical powers on OT I were "priceless" and they are trained to never dramatize the unethically evil lower condition of "DOUBT".Okay, but what policy allows Ron to totally just make up random lavishly crazy prices for non-existent magic powers and defraud people like that?!
- - [Surprise Ending]: The "Fair Game" policy, which makes it standardly sacred scripture to "lie" and "trick" anyone who didn't write the Fair Game policy..
I've done that MANY times, been out somewhere looking at people and thinking, "look at that fat fuck, jeez I'm glad I'm not him." or "Gawd, why doesn't that brainless woman control her screamin devil-spawn children!"
I'm OT !!!!!
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
PART II:
Not only will future auditing be conducted by IDEAL AUDITING AVATARS on flatscreens, all of the Church of Scientology's interface with the paying public will be done via digital avatars.
For example, if any Scientologist has a complaint they would be quickly routed to "CUSTOMER SUPPORT".
OPERATING AVATAR
[ synthesized human voice ]
Hello Joe. I am very pleased to get in good two-way com
with you today in order to find out what is needed & wanted.
Joe--my name is Ronette and I would like to help you to flourish
and prosper like all other Scientologists are flourishing and prospering.
Joe, when you see the red flashing screen, please kindly
and prompt state the not-ideal situation that you are
trying to debug, so we can help you today.
JOE
Um, well, I paid 84,239 dollars for my three "Ls" auditing
and Ron said in the promo pieces that he guaranteed that
by the time I completed it, I'd be fully exterior with full
perception and able to maintain it. I'm not exterior
and I want my $84,239 dollars refunded.
OPERATING AVATAR
Joe are you sure you did not go exterior? Ron says
that many able beings like yourself are actually exterior
but they require more auditing so their awareness
comes up to realizing they are exterior.
Joe
Hey, I ain't exterior--unless you count that I lost
my house because of paying 84 thousand dollars
and now I am living "exterior" outdoors on the street.
OPERATING AVATAR
Joe, that is very unfortunate that you did not get the
exterior miracles that all other PCs on this planet achieved.
Joe, have you considered that the problem is not
the tech, but that the problem is you? Joe, many
people have discovered through Ron's tech that
they are a "resistive case" which means they are
in an SP's valence. Joe, I can imagine how bad
it must feel to cognite that you are an SP, but I
can help you with that. When you see the red
flashing prompt on-screen, I want you to
clearly speak and tell me the numbers and
expiration dates of all of your charge cards.
Joe, this is going to go really well for you,
I promise, if you just do what the screen tells
you do to do. Joe, we can get thru this together
and you'll be indescribably happy with lots of
miracles just like the rest of us. Joe, let's get
started and win together! Joe, I really love you
and you are the best PC I have ever audited.
Joe, I think you are an elite and very big being
just like Ron. Joe we need you to help save
mankind on this planet. Joe, I think you are
going to do the right thing and make all your
Scientology family and friends happy by getting
through this cycle. Joe, Ron is going to be very
proud of you too. Joe, Ron says that you are going to
get your miracles now and it's so easy. Joe, in fact
Ron says that you can just hold your charge cards
up to the camera and we'll scan them for you, so
how easy is that? Joe, can you imagine how much
fun it is to go exterior and travel the entire universe?
Joe, let's go get your eternity back for you now.
Joe, we've already sent a text message to your
wife and kids that you might not be home for
dinner tonight because you are about to be
declared SP, so if you don't do this for yourself
Joe, do it for your family and for the kids!
Joe, that wallet, I need to see those charge
cards so we can help you. Joe, you do love your
kids, don't you? Joe, I can see that you are now
taking your first step. Joe, that is very well done, Joe, I
can see your Master Card now. Joe, I need you to move
your thumb because we can't see your security code.
Joe, thanks I got it. Joe it's going so well now, can you
see how easy it is when you are not resistive?
.
Not only will future auditing be conducted by IDEAL AUDITING AVATARS on flatscreens, all of the Church of Scientology's interface with the paying public will be done via digital avatars.
For example, if any Scientologist has a complaint they would be quickly routed to "CUSTOMER SUPPORT".
OPERATING AVATAR
[ synthesized human voice ]
Hello Joe. I am very pleased to get in good two-way com
with you today in order to find out what is needed & wanted.
Joe--my name is Ronette and I would like to help you to flourish
and prosper like all other Scientologists are flourishing and prospering.
Joe, when you see the red flashing screen, please kindly
and prompt state the not-ideal situation that you are
trying to debug, so we can help you today.
JOE
Um, well, I paid 84,239 dollars for my three "Ls" auditing
and Ron said in the promo pieces that he guaranteed that
by the time I completed it, I'd be fully exterior with full
perception and able to maintain it. I'm not exterior
and I want my $84,239 dollars refunded.
OPERATING AVATAR
Joe are you sure you did not go exterior? Ron says
that many able beings like yourself are actually exterior
but they require more auditing so their awareness
comes up to realizing they are exterior.
Joe
Hey, I ain't exterior--unless you count that I lost
my house because of paying 84 thousand dollars
and now I am living "exterior" outdoors on the street.
OPERATING AVATAR
Joe, that is very unfortunate that you did not get the
exterior miracles that all other PCs on this planet achieved.
Joe, have you considered that the problem is not
the tech, but that the problem is you? Joe, many
people have discovered through Ron's tech that
they are a "resistive case" which means they are
in an SP's valence. Joe, I can imagine how bad
it must feel to cognite that you are an SP, but I
can help you with that. When you see the red
flashing prompt on-screen, I want you to
clearly speak and tell me the numbers and
expiration dates of all of your charge cards.
Joe, this is going to go really well for you,
I promise, if you just do what the screen tells
you do to do. Joe, we can get thru this together
and you'll be indescribably happy with lots of
miracles just like the rest of us. Joe, let's get
started and win together! Joe, I really love you
and you are the best PC I have ever audited.
Joe, I think you are an elite and very big being
just like Ron. Joe we need you to help save
mankind on this planet. Joe, I think you are
going to do the right thing and make all your
Scientology family and friends happy by getting
through this cycle. Joe, Ron is going to be very
proud of you too. Joe, Ron says that you are going to
get your miracles now and it's so easy. Joe, in fact
Ron says that you can just hold your charge cards
up to the camera and we'll scan them for you, so
how easy is that? Joe, can you imagine how much
fun it is to go exterior and travel the entire universe?
Joe, let's go get your eternity back for you now.
Joe, we've already sent a text message to your
wife and kids that you might not be home for
dinner tonight because you are about to be
declared SP, so if you don't do this for yourself
Joe, do it for your family and for the kids!
Joe, that wallet, I need to see those charge
cards so we can help you. Joe, you do love your
kids, don't you? Joe, I can see that you are now
taking your first step. Joe, that is very well done, Joe, I
can see your Master Card now. Joe, I need you to move
your thumb because we can't see your security code.
Joe, thanks I got it. Joe it's going so well now, can you
see how easy it is when you are not resistive?
.
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
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PART III:
PART III:
IDEAL TECHNOLOGY!
A new person walks into an Ideal Org
off the street and asks what Scientology is!
The Ideal Receptionist has them sign a bond, a waiver
of liability and a contract stipulating they they are
not there to investigate Scientology with
an "open mind", per the PTS policy.
_pg012_3_0(1).jpg)
NEW GUY
Hey, why did i have to sign so many contracts? I just wanted a very
simple explanation of what Scientology is. The sign outside said:
"Discover the 'MAGIC COMMUNICATION FORMULA' that can instantly
transform your miserable life into a modern miracle of happiness!"
IDEAL RECEPTIONIST
Well you came to the right place! Our Founder Ron discovered
that "communication is the universal solvent" that can
make all your problems disappear. In fact Scientology
will teach you how to communicate to anyone
on any subject and be a roaring success!
- - -
Meanwhile the Ideal Minister of Monitors prepares the
screen so that nobody ever has to communicate to the New Guy.
.
A new person walks into an Ideal Org
off the street and asks what Scientology is!
The Ideal Receptionist has them sign a bond, a waiver
of liability and a contract stipulating they they are
not there to investigate Scientology with
an "open mind", per the PTS policy.
NEW GUY
Hey, why did i have to sign so many contracts? I just wanted a very
simple explanation of what Scientology is. The sign outside said:
"Discover the 'MAGIC COMMUNICATION FORMULA' that can instantly
transform your miserable life into a modern miracle of happiness!"
IDEAL RECEPTIONIST
Well you came to the right place! Our Founder Ron discovered
that "communication is the universal solvent" that can
make all your problems disappear. In fact Scientology
will teach you how to communicate to anyone
on any subject and be a roaring success!
- - -
Meanwhile the Ideal Minister of Monitors prepares the
screen so that nobody ever has to communicate to the New Guy.
.
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Operating DB
3 feet behind my butt
Holy Phuck! I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Thanks for the huge endorphin release!
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
.
SCIENTOLOGY VOLUNTEER MINISTERS
MINISTER
No I'm very sorry we cannot give you a refund.
We promised to get you hatted so you can help
yourself and we delivered what we promised.
WOG
That's stupid. This is not a hat. It's a colander.
MINISTER
Okay, I'm not going to invalidate your reality because
Ron said that 'whatever is real to you is what is real'.
WOG
What about my refund?
MINISTER
That shouldn't be a problem. You can petition for a refund
and it's possible that the church will grant your request.
But to even submit a petition it has to be done standardly.
WOG
How do I that?
MINISTER
I'm glad you asked me that. Let me tell you about our
HOW TO STANDARDLY ASK FOR REFUNDS course.
We happen to be offering a very special today-only
super low discounted price for priceless miracles!
WOG
What are the odds that they'll approve a refund?
Did they ever give a single refund in the past 50 years?
MINISTER
No, but I'm happy you brought that up. Because
you can have guaranteed results if you buy our
HOW TO GET 100% OF WHAT YOU WANT
WITH TONE 40 POSTULATES course.
We happen to be offering a very special
today-only super low discounted
price for priceless miracles!
WOG
And what if I tell you I don't have any money
to buy two more Scientology courses?
Then are you going to tell me that
you have a money course also?
MINISTER
I'm happy you asked me that, Because we do
have a money course and we happen to be offering
a very special today-only super low discounted
price for priceless miracles!
- - -
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SCIENTOLOGY VOLUNTEER MINISTERS
MINISTER
No I'm very sorry we cannot give you a refund.
We promised to get you hatted so you can help
yourself and we delivered what we promised.
WOG
That's stupid. This is not a hat. It's a colander.
MINISTER
Okay, I'm not going to invalidate your reality because
Ron said that 'whatever is real to you is what is real'.
WOG
What about my refund?
MINISTER
That shouldn't be a problem. You can petition for a refund
and it's possible that the church will grant your request.
But to even submit a petition it has to be done standardly.
WOG
How do I that?
MINISTER
I'm glad you asked me that. Let me tell you about our
HOW TO STANDARDLY ASK FOR REFUNDS course.
We happen to be offering a very special today-only
super low discounted price for priceless miracles!
WOG
What are the odds that they'll approve a refund?
Did they ever give a single refund in the past 50 years?
MINISTER
No, but I'm happy you brought that up. Because
you can have guaranteed results if you buy our
HOW TO GET 100% OF WHAT YOU WANT
WITH TONE 40 POSTULATES course.
We happen to be offering a very special
today-only super low discounted
price for priceless miracles!
WOG
And what if I tell you I don't have any money
to buy two more Scientology courses?
Then are you going to tell me that
you have a money course also?
MINISTER
I'm happy you asked me that, Because we do
have a money course and we happen to be offering
a very special today-only super low discounted
price for priceless miracles!
- - -
.
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D
Deleted member 51
Guest
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SCIENTOLOGY VOLUNTEER MINISTERS
MINISTER
No I'm very sorry we cannot give you a refund.
We promised to get you hatted so you can help
yourself and we delivered what we promised.
WOG
That's stupid. This is not a hat. It's a colander.
MINISTER
Okay, I'm not going to invalidate your reality because
Ron said that 'whatever is real to you is what is real'.
WOG
What about my refund?
MINISTER
That shouldn't be a problem. You can petition for a refund
and it's possible that the church will grant your request.
But to even submit a petition it has to be done standardly.
WOG
How do I that?
MINISTER
I'm glad you asked me that. We happen to be offering
a very special today-only super low discounted price on our
HOW TO STANDARDLY ASK FOR REFUNDS course.
WOG
What are the odds that they'll approve a refund.
Did they ever give a single refund in the past 20 years?
MINISTER
No, but I'm happy you brought that up. Because
you can have guaranteed results if you buy our
HOW TO GET 100% OF WHAT YOU WANT
WITH TONE 40 POSTULATES course.
We happen to be offering a very special
today-only super low discounted price.
WOG
And what if I tell you I don't have any money
to buy two more Scientology courses?
Then are you going to tell me that
you have a money course too?
MINISTER
I'm happy you asked me that, Because we do
have a money course and we happen to be offering
a very special today-only super low discounted price.
- - -
.
"This is not a hat. It's a colander."
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
LOL
"This is not a hat. It's a colander."
Several times I was going to end the session at that point---and even after I kept typing I wondered if I should delete everything after the word "colander" and go to the examiner.
However, earlier today our Church of Hoaxology Examiner blew, so there was nobody to do an after session exam--thus I just kept typing.
.
.
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
..
QUESTION: Don, am familiar with your book Hobonetics, but to be honest I am not a big fan. I didn't see anywhere in your technology where I could get miraculous powers. That's why I am far more interested in your brother Ron's advanced levels. I know you helped Ron develop the OT levels, so I am curious. Is it possible for me to run Ron's OT III to OT VIII at home in my spare time when there is nothing good on TV?
ANSWER: Sure, you can do that. However, since all Ron's tech above Clear involves hunting for bad aliens that are screwing up your life, it can be a very time consuming commitment. Scientologists often spend 10 years or more before they have found all their BTs.
QUESTION: Don, that sounds kinda difficult to find BTs. Aren't thetans invisible? How do you even find them?!
ANSWER: You look everywhere in the physical universe, until you DON'T see something---and that's a BT.
.
TODAY'S QUESTION FOR L. DON HUBBARD
(see Avatar & Signature Line)
(see Avatar & Signature Line)
QUESTION: Don, am familiar with your book Hobonetics, but to be honest I am not a big fan. I didn't see anywhere in your technology where I could get miraculous powers. That's why I am far more interested in your brother Ron's advanced levels. I know you helped Ron develop the OT levels, so I am curious. Is it possible for me to run Ron's OT III to OT VIII at home in my spare time when there is nothing good on TV?
ANSWER: Sure, you can do that. However, since all Ron's tech above Clear involves hunting for bad aliens that are screwing up your life, it can be a very time consuming commitment. Scientologists often spend 10 years or more before they have found all their BTs.
QUESTION: Don, that sounds kinda difficult to find BTs. Aren't thetans invisible? How do you even find them?!
ANSWER: You look everywhere in the physical universe, until you DON'T see something---and that's a BT.
.
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ILove2Lurk
Lisbeth Salander Redux
~ Relaxing at Flag Land Base ~
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ILove2Lurk
Lisbeth Salander Redux
When Bernie Madoff ran his multi-billion-dollar Ponzi scam, he had help from
from about six confederates working on the "secret floor." Hundreds of other
employees working on the legitimate floors, which managed the legal part
of the Madoff empire, had no clues as to what was going on "upstairs."
Likewise in the Sea Org, I know most people are true believers and have no
doubts about LRH or the tech. However, a few must know of LRH's assisted
suicide, the truth of the non-existant OT 8, 9 &10, LRH's non-attainment
of a godly case state, and his final descent into dementia and ill health,
essentially negating any value to "his tech."
At minimum, Dave Miscavige and Ray Mithoff, who read LRH's folders and invented
the current OT 8, should probably be well aware of the Current State of the Scam.
Question
Who do you think are the other insiders on the "secret floor" of Scientology?
Any ideas? I wonder who are members of the small cabal that are still active,
while knowing the bitter truth.
I have a suspicion that people who learn "the truth" are possibly relegated to
a lifetime sentence in The Hole to prevent them from blabbing out in the wild.
Knowing "the truth" while committing the crime is the biggest crime of all.
Footnote 1: I've asked both Marty and Mike a couple times to explain all this
to me and to name names of the "conspiring insiders" and both ignored me
or demurred. So be it. They have reasons or don't know. We'll leave it at that.
Footnote 2: Those that have read my rants over the years, know this is a hobby
horse issue of mine and I bring it up every year or so. Part of the reason is that
a passing parade of new people are arriving or visiting and need to hear things.
Maybe I'll learn something new if I ask enough. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
A couple of posts ago (#1274) I was reminded of something very deserving of making it into Scientology's--
After you have word clearing you need to pick up the e-meter cans for an "exam". To see if your needle is floating. You only need to do that if you are studying near other Scientologists. If you read anything at home you don't need someone else to examine you to see if you were lying when you claimed to understand a word after looking it up in the dictionary and making up sentences with it, after which you clay demo'd it.
After you have been to the ethics officer and spent several days writing up your wholetrack crimes, you need to be examined by another person to see if you failed to disclose that time 824 trillion years ago when you pulled the air cover off a planet. It matters not whether after confessing all your evil acts you felt happier than at any time your entire life. The euphoria you feel might not be real--it could be an implant or that you are so overwhelmed you went into the valence of the grinning Dalai Lama. The meter can sort this out for you, don't try to "self-audit" and try to figure out if you are happy or not.
After spending 11 years on OT VII and blowing all your BTs, you need to be examined by a highly skilled professional. The Examiner can look at the needle and in 3 seconds confirm or deny whether you still have BTs. That's how good they are.
EXAMINER ODDITY: L. Ron Hubbard fully trusted and relied upon Examiners to scientifically verify that beings were truly attaining OT powers, like Exteriorization--the most important of them all that allowed a being to escape the body/MEST trap. Because Ron was the source of the tech and also the case supervisor, he was technically never allowed to look at or even see the PreClear. Thus, without an Examiner, Ron would have had absolutely way of knowing whether the PC achieved the miracle of exterior on advanced rundowns such as the "L's"!
HOW IT WORKED: After completing all the L's processes, the PC would have to report to the Examiner to be examined. This would be a very tense and exacting moment because by this point ( at 1,000 per plus travel, food and lodging on the ship) the PC would often have spent over $100,000 for this single auditing action. The Examiner would then put the PC on the meter and ask them a series of questions and the PC would not be allowed to attest to the L's unless they got all the answers 100% correct AND the needle had to float during those moments!!! Thus, we can easily see that the entire weight of proof that the tech worked is on the shoulders of the Examiner. If the Examiner makes a mistake, the PC's eternity might well be sabotaged and lost! And if beings cannot achieve miraculous results, the planet cannot be cleared and mankind will be trapped forever on a nightmarish slave planet.
Many of you are likely wondering what these scientific questions are that the PC has to answer perfectly. It's highly technical, but I'll include them here for advanced beings and scholars.
THE CODE OF AN EXAMINER: The Examiner is never allowed to say anything else other than the above, or even engage in any chat or even say "Hello" when the PC arrives. It is a High Crime for the Examiner to do anything else, such as asking the PC: "Have you 'gone exterior with full perception and able to maintain it?'"--- exactly the way Ron guaranteed. And it would be both a High Crime and Suppressive Act if the Examiner actually examined if the PC was exterior by secretly writing down a 12-digit number and asking the exteriorized PC to tell you what it was. Naturally they would have to answer it precisely and also F/N while they were saying it.
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TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS
Hall of Fame, Shame, Blame & Regret
"The Examiner"
The "Examiner" examines you.Hall of Fame, Shame, Blame & Regret
"The Examiner"
After you have word clearing you need to pick up the e-meter cans for an "exam". To see if your needle is floating. You only need to do that if you are studying near other Scientologists. If you read anything at home you don't need someone else to examine you to see if you were lying when you claimed to understand a word after looking it up in the dictionary and making up sentences with it, after which you clay demo'd it.
After you have been to the ethics officer and spent several days writing up your wholetrack crimes, you need to be examined by another person to see if you failed to disclose that time 824 trillion years ago when you pulled the air cover off a planet. It matters not whether after confessing all your evil acts you felt happier than at any time your entire life. The euphoria you feel might not be real--it could be an implant or that you are so overwhelmed you went into the valence of the grinning Dalai Lama. The meter can sort this out for you, don't try to "self-audit" and try to figure out if you are happy or not.
After spending 11 years on OT VII and blowing all your BTs, you need to be examined by a highly skilled professional. The Examiner can look at the needle and in 3 seconds confirm or deny whether you still have BTs. That's how good they are.
EXAMINER ODDITY: L. Ron Hubbard fully trusted and relied upon Examiners to scientifically verify that beings were truly attaining OT powers, like Exteriorization--the most important of them all that allowed a being to escape the body/MEST trap. Because Ron was the source of the tech and also the case supervisor, he was technically never allowed to look at or even see the PreClear. Thus, without an Examiner, Ron would have had absolutely way of knowing whether the PC achieved the miracle of exterior on advanced rundowns such as the "L's"!
HOW IT WORKED: After completing all the L's processes, the PC would have to report to the Examiner to be examined. This would be a very tense and exacting moment because by this point ( at 1,000 per plus travel, food and lodging on the ship) the PC would often have spent over $100,000 for this single auditing action. The Examiner would then put the PC on the meter and ask them a series of questions and the PC would not be allowed to attest to the L's unless they got all the answers 100% correct AND the needle had to float during those moments!!! Thus, we can easily see that the entire weight of proof that the tech worked is on the shoulders of the Examiner. If the Examiner makes a mistake, the PC's eternity might well be sabotaged and lost! And if beings cannot achieve miraculous results, the planet cannot be cleared and mankind will be trapped forever on a nightmarish slave planet.
Many of you are likely wondering what these scientific questions are that the PC has to answer perfectly. It's highly technical, but I'll include them here for advanced beings and scholars.
SCIENTIFIC QUESTION #1: "Do you have any doubts or reservations about attesting to being an L's completion?" If the PC answers "NO!" and the needle floats, they are allowed to go on to the next question.
SCIENTIFIC QUESTION #2: "Would you like others to have similar gains to yours?" If they answer "YES!" with a floating needle, they are given a very large completion certificate with an official scientific seal on it.
THE CODE OF AN EXAMINER: The Examiner is never allowed to say anything else other than the above, or even engage in any chat or even say "Hello" when the PC arrives. It is a High Crime for the Examiner to do anything else, such as asking the PC: "Have you 'gone exterior with full perception and able to maintain it?'"--- exactly the way Ron guaranteed. And it would be both a High Crime and Suppressive Act if the Examiner actually examined if the PC was exterior by secretly writing down a 12-digit number and asking the exteriorized PC to tell you what it was. Naturally they would have to answer it precisely and also F/N while they were saying it.
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
ps: that girl looks kinda familiar. Don Hubbard personally relayed to me that he really hopes that's a celebrity reading Don! Magazine.
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
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I await Karen#1's or any other "I WAS THERE" ex-Scientologist to shed any light on those outstanding questions about who knew that it was a complete scam, hoax, fraud and absurd money racket selling nonexistent miracles!
I gave some thought to it just now and came up with what I think the answers are.
#1 ANSWER:
Nobody in Scientology knew that there were no miraculous powers, levels and supernatural abilities.
#2 ANSWER:
Everybody in Scientology knew that there were no miraculous powers, levels and supernatural abilities.
#3 ANSWER:
Both #1 and #2
I mean, the COMMODORE, COB and CULT CREEPS were making up that stupid shit!
And everyone else was paying fortunes & attesting to that stupid shit!
Is there actually any difference?
LOL
.Nobody in Scientology knew that there were no miraculous powers, levels and supernatural abilities.
#2 ANSWER:
Everybody in Scientology knew that there were no miraculous powers, levels and supernatural abilities.
#3 ANSWER:
Both #1 and #2
I mean, the COMMODORE, COB and CULT CREEPS were making up that stupid shit!
And everyone else was paying fortunes & attesting to that stupid shit!
Is there actually any difference?
LOL
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