TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SCIENTOLOGY SUDDENLY
FOLLOWED THE "TRUTH IN ADVERTISING" LAWS?
. . .

BEFORE

AFTER

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JUST RELEASED STATEMENT BY THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY: "For decades, our religion has been very
unfairly criticized and accused of killing the pets of our enemies. In all those years not one lawsuit has ever been filed
against us by even one (1) dead pet. Further proof of this outrageous defamatory libel/slander is that none of the
little puppies or kittens of dead pets has ever initiated any arbitration proceedings to recover damages for
the wrongful death of their deceased parent(s)." —Scientology Spokesperson


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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This very curious promotional poster was originally
found on a discussion thread HERE
and/or MIKE RINDER'S BLOG
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WOW! RON'S TECH HAS SOLVED 76
YEARS OF WARS IN THE MIDDLE EAST!
CUE COB TO BEGIN REPETETIVELY SCREAMING
"THE WAR IS OVER!"
as 1 billion balloons are dropped on euphorically
applauding, cheering & gratefully weeping scientologists....

QUESTION: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A CULT BECOMES SO BLINDED BY THEIR
OWN FANATICISM, TREACHERY & PROPAGANDA THAT THEY
ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO EVEN KEEP TRACK OF OR
REMEMBER WHAT BIG LIES THEY TOLD BEFORE?


THIS YEAR'S CURRENT CULT LIE

. . .


PREVIOUS CULT LIES

So, be sure to "DECIDE FOR YOURSELF"
Be sure to "THINK FOR YOURSELF"--
as long as you agree 100% with LRH
who has "the only true viewpoint".

You are free to disagree. Go ahead!
See what happens. Try it. In fact,
Scientology "DARES" you to!
Nothing sinister or threatening
about that, right? LOL


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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It's been a while since a new book by an Ex-Scientologist
has hit the NY TIMES BESTSELLER list. And to top it off,
the author is one of this website's regular contributors!
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* * * * * 10 STAR RATING * * * * *

"Wow! I had more case gain just reading the
book's cover than all of the OT levels combined!
I highly recommend buying one of the DELUXE
VIP LEATHER BOUND LIMITED EDITIONS
that comes with a complementary set of rubber
bands, paperclips and used batteries! You also
get a free bookmark and a small travel kit with
4 colors of clay that makes a handy companion
when you are flying overseas and want to read the
book several times with full conceptual understanding!
—Don Hubbard

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Wait - clay comes in different colors? Not just dirt color?

.

LOL!

Talking about Scientology and clay, an ex-Sea Org member that spent a considerable amount of time on the Apollo working with L. Ron Hubbard shared a story with me the other day that seemed pretty unbelievable. However, they had the receipts to prove it! And they were even generous enough to let me make a photocopy of a rarely viewed HCOB that for reasons unknown became one of those odd bulletins that somehow never made it into the tech volumes.

- - - - - - - - - -


HUBBARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE
Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex

HCO BULLETIN OF 11 NOVEMBER 1972​

Tech Hats ​

Director of Training ​

All Course Supervisors​

Cramming Officer Hat​

CLAY TABLE AND AUDITOR STABILITY​

Years of hard won experience has shown us that clay demos can produce some of the highest gains attainable in training and the fabulous flubless auditors that were produced at St. Hill under my watch and direct supervision. ​

​

However, more recently I have noticed that the number of Auditors being sent to cramming for session goofs has swelled to the point where there was standing room only. That got me good and curious to find out what in the devil was going on that so many needed correction to that degree. ​

​

In fact, when I walked by the Department Of Corrections the other day I peeked in and noticed some familiar faces of crackerjack auditors that I had personally trained on the SHSBC. How could this happen, I puzzled. How does a flub-free auditor suddenly begin bungling their commands and metering?​

​

This got me very curious, so I rolled up my sleeves and jumped in with both feet to see what in the blazes was going on in those course rooms. Well, in less than a minute I spotted it. Mud colored clay! I demanded to know who had authorized the purchase of dull gray plasticine when policy clearly requires multi-colored clay. It was then that these scarlet-faced course supervisors explained that the clay originally was multi-colored, but over time and use became a depressingly colorless blob. ​

​

It seems that some squirrel or SP thought it was okay to pass a clay demo where every object was the same lifeless gunmetal hue. This is hardly a duplication of the MEST universe and thus the student auditors were being denied the full gains attainable by properly standard clay representations! Without those life-changing wins, their ability to audit 100% standardly will not remain entirely stable. ​

​

It has been my long-standing policy that after a clay demo has been given a pass, the student must meticulously return each component color to it's proper color bin. Failure to do so--or any action which results in gray clay is both a SUPPRESSIVE ACT and a HIGH CRIME. ​

​

Without colorful clay, we cannot train infallibly flubless auditors because over time their perfection will fade, just as the colors of the gray enturbulated "enclay". And with their failure goes the slim opportunity that we now have to free mankind from his ill-fated MEST entrapment. ​

​

L. RON HUBBARD ​

Founder ​

​

LRH:dh​

Copyright © 1972. by L. Ron Hubbard ​

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ​

​

​

GRATEFUL THANKS TO DON HUBBARD FOR PROVIDING
PERMISSION TO PUBLISH HIS PERSONAL COPY OF
THE ABOVE HCOB, WHICH ONE CAN PLAINLY
SEE HE WAS RON'S TYPIST ON [LRH; dh]

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Some outstanding advice from pineapple
regarding IL2L's new bestselling book!
...

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And of course buy two copies; don't wanna get caught short ...

.......


LOL!

Isn't that like the e-meter policy--where you are required to buy TWO (2) e-meters? (i.e. "...in case while you are in session—something goes wrong with the first meter")

REGISTRAR
Okay, then your total tech estimate to do your entire
Bridge from wog to OT VIII is only.....$650,000. Just
make the check out to "Church of Scientology".

WOG
Okay, hang on....
(fills out check)
Here ya go!

REGISTRAR
Excellent. And I will just
need you to make out another
check, also for $650,000.

WOG
Wuttttt? I just paid for my Bridge, what's the 2nd $650K for?

REGISTER
It's "in case while you are in Scientology—
something goes wrong with the first Bridge"


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[The_Fixer]

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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SCIENTOLOGY SUDDENLY
FOLLOWED THE "TRUTH IN ADVERTISING" LAWS?
. . .

BEFORE

AFTER

​

JUST RELEASED STATEMENT BY THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY: "For decades, our religion has been very
unfairly criticized and accused of killing the pets of our enemies. In all those years not one lawsuit has ever been filed
against us by even one (1) dead pet. Further proof of this outrageous defamatory libel/slander is that none of the
little puppies or kittens of dead pets has ever initiated any arbitration proceedings to recover damages for
the wrongful death of their deceased parent(s)." —Scientology Spokesperson


..

...​

I shouldn't laugh.

Back in the day, we would have swallowed all that as the total truth.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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Unquestionably one of the stupidest things in the history of Scientology...

A "MODERN SCIENCE" USING
DOLL DRILLS

from the discussion thread--
"A REPORTER VISITS BIRMINGHAM IDEAL ORG"


The oddest part of "doll drills" is that the cult of scientology
doesn't think that their customers have enough imagination
to practice saying auditing commands unless they have something
like a doll—that physically resembles the reality of auditing a human.

However, at the same time, the cult absolutely thinks that their
customers have the infinite imagination required to believe that
they have attained magically supernatural powers to levitate, leave
their bodies, pull air covers off planets and to instantly "postulate"
anything they desire into existence for the rest of eternity!


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Finally! A part of Scientology that actually makes sense!

THE E-METER READ SIMULATOR

FAKE TECHNOLOGY - FAKE READS
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I remember Academy students doing emeter drills...with the coach off​

to the side squeezing the cans—to simulate reads.​

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I remember Scientologists doing OT levels...with the registrar off​

to the side squeezing the Pre-OT for money and magical OT success​

stories—to simulate miracles.​

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. . ​

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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You forget, "Scientologists are the sanest, most ethical people on the planet"

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FIFY
"Scientologists are the sanest, most ethical people on the this planet"​

This is your last warning!

Stop squirreling & sabotaging Ron's tech!!!

Use of the word "this" is critical. It reflects and confirms the reality that OTs are fully aware of countless other civilizations on countless other planets for countless trillions of years.

Immediately abandon your off-source rhetoric and adopt Ron's 100% standard patter.
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All Scientologists have studied and clay demo'd the technology of grammar. And thus they have gained a working knowledge of such things as adjectives and superlatives (good, better, best!)

However, on advanced Scientology levels they learn the the spectacular tech of SUPER-SUPERLATIVES.

WOG SUPERLATIVE: "Wow, this is the best cheeseburger in New York City!"​

​

SUPER SUPERLATIVE: "Wow, this is the best cheeseburger on this planet!"​

​

Any being who speaks in Super-Superlatives has quite obviously used their OT powers to visit many planets.

AXIOM: Super-Superlatives are what makes OTs OT.


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SCIENTOLOGY SUDDENLY
OBEYED THE "TRUTH IN ADVERTISING" LAWS?
. . .

BEFORE

AFTER

...​