TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

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MORE F/Ning FACTS & FAQS:

QUESTION: If a Scientologist who didn't get what they paid for becomes a "dissatisfied customer" (in "conflict" with the church, tech and/or policies) and the church does not use the "THIRD PARTY TECH" to resolve it, do they at least use the TR IV TECH to handle the disgruntled customer's complaint (i.e. handle their "origination")?​
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ANSWER: No. Scientology doesn't use TR IV, they only sell that advanced technology to others. ​
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QUESTION: Instead of creating another mortal enemy, wouldn't it be better to just listen to the customer and understand them and then try to fix went wrong?​
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ANSWER: No. Because that is the wog tech used by wog Customer Service to handle wog complaints. ​
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QUESTION: Wait, you didn't explain why you can't use your TR-0 to "listen" and your "TR-IV" to really understand people. What's up with that?​
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ANSWER: Our organization analyzed this issue in the 1950s and we made a huge discovery--that it's not viable to listen to ARC broken customers who didn't get what we promised them and try to make them happy. Because this could result in a refund, which Ron stated (not said) is a "criminally suppressive act". Logically, since we are the world's most ethical people, as much as we would LOVE to make customers happy, we are understandably reluctant to commit unethical crimes. ​
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QUESTION: So then, are you actually saying that your solution is to just leave & litter bitterly unhappy customers all over the entire globe?​
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ANSWER: No, we would never do that. Once the planet is Clear, we will magnanimously go back and salvage all those miserable customers who tried to fuck us over by falsely claiming that our happiness-producing tech doesn't work. ​
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QUESTION: Sorry, I still don't get it. If Scientology can so easily resolve conflicts with 3RD PARTY TECH, can you tell me again why Scientology has tens of thousands of whistleblowers, critics and former Scientologists who are "in conflict" with your organization? Why didn't you apply your own tech and make all these conflicts vanish?

ANSWER: Like I've been trying to tell you, all of our enemies are SPs. In Ron's tech, Ron stated that the tech doesn't work on SPs. The fact that our 3rd Party Tech doesn't work on people we are in conflict with is in fact proof that our tech works exactly as Ron stated.

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Karen#1 said:
Sneaky conduct gets outed.
www.dailymail.co.uk

Outrage as 7-Eleven store sneakily offers free Scientology pamphlets

The Church of Scientology pamphlets titled 'How to keep yourself & others well' were pictured on the counter of 7-Eleven George Street in Brisbane's city centre.
www.dailymail.co.uk www.dailymail.co.uk
Click to expand...


Two (2) notable quotes from that article about the COS (Church of Sneakytech):

"Customers were left outraged after Scientology pamphlets disguised as free​
coronavirus heath booklets were offered at a 7-Eleven store." ​
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"She noted that many customers commented on the Scientology ​
booklets and they had since been thrown away."​
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Outraged customers throwing away cult propaganda. LOL. That is the paradoxically perfect result of handing out THE WAY TO HAPPINESS pamphlets. To wit, people suddenly get UNHAPPY ("outraged") and therefore decide to do something about it ("throw away" worthless cult tech).

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REF: Sneaky fake science cult trying to promote fake Covid19 pamphlet that is really a fake "Way To Happiness" pamphlet that will lead them to the fake OT levels at the fake religion called Scientology.


The cult should have hired me to consult on their WTH pop (point of purchase) display.

I would have advised that they move the WTF booklet unit to the personal hygiene aisle, at eye level, in the middle of the toothpaste shelves. And, rather than a static and boring little sign or graphic trying to convince people to take a WTH booklet, I would have instructed the stores to invest in and install a dedicated tablet screen running a GIF on a loop.

It would look something like this:


L. Ron Hubbard's
THE WAY TO HAPPINESS

going-clear-LRH.gif


"TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH!"
- TAKE A FREE PAMPHLET -
Save your teeth, save yourself!
Ron hasn't had to visit a dentist in 34 years!

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what is the difference between...
SCIENTOLOGISTS & EX-SCIENTOLOGISTS?

(edited)_Tools_for_Life_poster_cover_en(1).jpg


How they answer the same question on a TV game show.

SCIENTOLOGY VERSION OF JEOPARDY
Alex, is there a "T"?

EX-SCIENTOLOGY VERSION OF JEOPARDY
Alex, is there an "F"?


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LINK TO ORIGINAL PROMO PIECE


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SCIENTOLOGY EXTENSION COURSES
HAVE HUGE WINS AT HOME!

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SUCCESS STORY
Wow, this course has really changed my life!
I can already perceive my newfound tone 40 Motivation!
My biggest win was on the chapter about how to order and pay
for a Sea Org team to come out to my home and install a chain locker!
- Billy Blowdown, OT VIII​

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SOLVING ALL OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS
WHAT WOULD RON DO?

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SUCCESS STORY
Amazing tech! I standardly followed all of Ron's successful actions
on the 2nd Dynamic and had the identical wins that Ron had! My
stats even soared like Ron's and I too have achieved 3 divorces.
I am not even done with this course, but I'm already feeling
super excited about the new chapter where Ron states
that one can keep one's lines free from the entheta
of ex-wives by sending them to federal prison
or at least keeping them incarcerated in
a cult compound with 24 hour
guards like COB did.

- Tom Cruise - messianic moviestar


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What Is Scientology Really?

It's knowing
YOUR BT's
(and paying us $600K to get rid of them)

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MISLEADING MESSIANIC MARKETING
Wow, a Life Improvement Course!
Effective Time Management!
Wow, that sounds great!
- - -

what scientology wants you
to think you are buying. . .

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- - -

what you are actually buying. . .

4F108C0700000578-0-image-a-23_1536683133128.jpg



sea_org_contract-circle.jpg



So wait, I don't get it Ron. How does sacrificing
my every waking moment for the next billion years
help me me "effectively manage my time"? It sounds
like I won't have ANY time for myself at all!
How does that work, Ron?

"Time is only a consideration"
- L. Ron Hubbard

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HOW THE WORLDS MOST EFFECTIVE LEADER
L. RON HUBBARD EFFECTIVELY LEADS

Screen_Shot_2020_05_30_at_3.35.04_PM.png


- Ron's 4 Secrets of Effective Leadership -

DEGRADE - DECLARE - DISCONNECT - DESTROY
anyone who dares to disagree


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DERAIL ALERT
heeeeeeeeees baaaaaack!

​
The protest poster BTW is back---and he just got triggered (again!) and posted three four five six rapid-fire PROTEST posts. He is shocked and offended (again!) that someone is posting forbidden things that his policies on his internet expressly forbid! LOL

troll sampling:

1. "Are you addressing newcomers?"​
​
2. "Or are you still "decompressing"? Mind you, there are few new Ex-Scientologists (those who have left recently) to this Message Board."​
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3. "You seem to be perpetuating Hubbard..."​
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4. "Fun? You are having fun? Over the dead horse? IMHO, I'm NOT derailing this "thread", just because it's not going nowhere. - This thread is just about "over 9000" snarly remarks of HH about Scientology and Hubbard. - Nothing substantial appealing to the mind. Just emotional up-bursts and throw-ups."​
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5. "Not that it bothers me, but you seem to have a GPM. Goal-Problem-Mass - something hangs in one's mind without any solution because others aren't what they must be. Hey BTW, do everyone a favor. Don't derail & litter up this thread with your personal hang-ups and hostilities."​
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6. "........" (we'll let the board moderator handle it from here, lol) ​

Post those questions over on your "TRULY EX" thread where you already tried to correct the behavior of Ex-Scientologists, demanding that they comply with your rules. You even tried to "handle" me last year when you posted on your thread: "I realized why HH's posts make me go mad. - They are loaded with Scientologese. - It's like someone would constantly speak about whisky, vodka or beer during their AA meetings."

Here is the link to your thread. LINK. If you really want me to answer you (again), post your questions there and I'll use your thread instead of derailing this one. If you want to complain that you are miserable reading what I post here, you can be miserable on your own thread because people are having fun here. Thanks.

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ksw koan
du jour
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with many dozens of life improvement courses
and life improvement auditing rundowns
and life improvement Clearing and
life improvement OT levels. . .

WHY DO 99% OF SCIENTOLOGISTS BLOW AND SAY THAT THEIR LIFE
ONLY STARTED IMPROVING AFTER THEY LEFT SCIENTOLOGY?

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BTW said:
Fun?
You are having fun?
Over the dead horse?

IMHO, I'm NOT derailing this "thread", just because it's not going nowhere. - This thread is just about "over 9000" snarly remarks of HH about Scientology and Hubbard. - Nothing substantial appealing to the mind. Just emotional up-bursts and throw-ups.
Click to expand...
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It's fun to watch BTW trolling with his TR-0 really in!

tenor.gif


Don't worry, BTW, you'll be there real soon--
Have fun in troll heaven when you go!
LOL

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Bill said:
Ooooooh! @HelluvaHoax! Watch out! BTW is bringing out the Big Guns!!!! Scientology TEK!! Surrender now before it's too late!
Click to expand...

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I'm trying to not get intimidated, but I am kind of terrified BTW will pull the air cover off the internet.

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- what scientology wants you to think -

"Wow, Ron sure loves kids...
and Ron surely understands kids and
Ron sure as heck knows how to raise kids!"

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- what scientology doesn't want you to know -

Ron had 7 kids and only 1 is still a Scientologist, but
she is trapped like a zombie slave inside his billion year
cult. Another he abandoned. Another he disowned and refused
to speak to. Another he declared to be a "SUPPRESSIVE PERSON"
whom he then attacked and sued. Another managed to escape his
nightmarish existence under Hubbard's tyranny and quickly committed
suicide. But never mind all that--Ron would like you to PAY HIM
for books, audiotapes, training, lectures, and correspondence
courses in order to teach you HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY RAISE CHILDREN!



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HOW SCIENTOLOGY REALLY WORKS
[ also known as ]
"How a human can learn something in 3 minutes of reading
that would otherwise take them 3 decades to learn."
- - -


SCIENTOLOGIST
Hello! I am a Scientologist and I would like to help you!

HUMAN
What do you mean?
I mean, who are you again?

SCIENTOLOGIST
Hello! I am a Scientologist and I would like to help you!

HUMAN
Yeah, you said that. Like help me how?
Do I know you? What is this?

SCIENTOLOGIST
As a Scientologist I am trained to help you with
any problem of any kind. Think of me as your
personal magical genie. Your wish is
my command. So, how can I help you?

HUMAN
I don't get it. What are you talking about.

SCIENTOLOGIST
I am talking about your nightmarish future
unless you handle your nightmarish problem!

HUMAN
What problem? I just picked you up one minute
ago in my Uber and I don't have any problem.

SCIENTOLOGIST
Ahhhhh, but you do! Just tell me what your dream
is for the future! I am sure your dream is not driving me
in an Uber, right? What do you wish more than
anything in the world. What would make you happy?

HUMAN
Dude, you're weird. But okay, I'll answer just because
it's so weird I want to see what kind of weird thing you'll do next.
If i had any wish it would be to become a famous moviestar!

SCIENTOLOGIST
I see. That is your ruin! If you don't achieve that dream
you will never be happy and your life will be ruined.
Can you see now that your future is dark and painful?

HUMAN
And??? And so then what?

SCIENTOLOGIST
Well, I am here to let you know that Tom Cruise is a Scientologist!
He used Scientology and now he is a mega moviestar!
You can make your dreams come true!! Here look. . .
(hands big glossy promo piece to Uber driver)

Screen_Shot_2020_05_31_at_4.08.09_AM.png


HUMAN
So, I mean it sounds too good to be true,
but I can't afford whatever your selling and even if
I could afford it, I don't have any time because
I have to drive Uber 10 hours a day and then I
I have to go to acting class at night.

SCIENTOLOGIST
That's no problem at all! It only costs $39 to achieve your dream!
Here, look---you can even do it at home in your spare time!
(hands 2nd glossy promo piece to Uber driver)

Screen_Shot_2020_05_31_at_4.08.22_AM.png


- - - - - - - - - 6 MONTHS LATER - - - - - - - - -


SCIENTOLOGIST
Congratulations on completing your Achieving
Your Goals course! Very well done. DId
you have any wins you'd like to share?

HUMAN
Actually something amazing happened, I got
a call back on a commercial I auditioned for!
That's the first time that ever happened!
The casting director seemed to like me
and who knows, when I go back I
might book my first commercial!

SCIENTOLOGIST
Incredible, so now you are really on your
way to becoming a major movie star! I told you!
But, we need to really make sure that now that you
are beginning to reach your goals as an actor,
nothing can stop you or slow you down!
That would be tragic, then your
life would be ruined again, right?

HUMAN
But how am I getting ruined again? You
said before nothing could stop me from
reaching my goal if i did the course.
So, what's up with that?

SCIENTOLOGIST
Well, after Ron discovered the GOAL technology
he later discovered that beings still could be stopped
by people called SPs, Suppressive Persons! If
you have one of those in your life you'll
never become Tom Cruise!

HUMAN
Shit! That sounds bad. So how do I find
out if i have one of those Suppressive people?

SCIENTOLOGIST
Honestly? Everyone has them. This entire planet is
filled with Suppressives! That's why for all of us as beings
to achieve our individual goals we have to first rid
the planet of these evil SPs! You with me?

HUMAN
But how?

SCIENTOLOGIST
By joining staff so we can clear the planet of
evil suppressives---and then the space will be
safe enough for all beings to flourish and prosper
and you can so easily be the world's most famous moviestar!

HUMAN
Staff? You mean you want to hire me and pay me?

SCIENTOLOGIST
Absolutely. You are totally amazing and you could stop
being an Uber driver and help clear the planet of
bad people, and then you can act in movies
and win the Academy Award !

HUMAN
Wow, I really do hate that Uber job, this sounds
like an amazing opportunity. But if I was a staff
member, would I still have enough time
to go on auditions and practice
scenes and go to acting class?

SCIENTOLOGIST
1000 percent yes! We are here to
help you achieve YOUR dream!


- - - - - - - - - 2 WEEKS LATER - - - - - - - - -
The former uber-human guy has now been on staff 2 weeks.

HUMAN
Hey, I need to talk to you. I am having real problems
in my job here. I was only paid 35 dollars last week
and this week they said there is no pay because
the stats are down. I can't pay my bills. Besides that
I am working day and night, 7 days a week and
have no time to pursue my goal of acting. I missed
2 auditions already because my CSW was rejected
until I found someone to hold my post during the
hours I had to leave for the audition. This is getting
crazy. I only decided to join staff because you
guaranteed me that it would help me achieve
my goals as an artist and an actor!

SCIENTOLOGIST
Oh, I fully understand that! We still want to help
you achieve your goals as an actor, but right
now we have this real emergency on our
planet and if we don't handle it and clear
it first, the whole world is going to die in
a nuclear war because mankind has that
reactive mind I told you about and that
dooms all of us! So just stick with
this a little longer and you'll see--
you will achieve all your
actor goals. We'd love
nothing more than to
see you acting!!

HUMAN
I don't know. I think i need to leave staff. I
can't see how I can reach my artistic
and acting goals like this.

SCIENTOLOGIST
Well actually, your artistic and acting goals
need to be put on pause right now. Because we have
to help Ron achieve HIS GOAL of a Clear Planet.

HUMAN
RON'S goal?!! I thought this was about MY goal!

SCIENTOLOGIST
Oh but it is! It's just that right now it's the greatest good
for all of us to help Ron first. After we do that, there will
be endless trillions of years for you to be an actor, no problem!

HUMAN
But I don't want to wait until the planet is Clear.
That might take like months or even a full year!

SCIENTOLOGIST
Look, I need to be honest with you. Your goals
of being an artist and actor, well Ron discovered
that these are really out-ethics diletante goals
that are totally worthless compared to Ron's super
awesomely ethical goals. So, you really need to
stop wasting time on reactive homo sapiens crap-assed
goals you probably got from an implant in the first place!
You know, that whole "artist and actor" thing is so
flakey, you gotta stop dramatizing that stupid shit!

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THE PRICE OF FREEDOM!
A case study in how the priceless
Bridge levels became even pricier!


LETS PICK A RANDOM LEVEL
OT I
1972 PRICE OF OT I
$75

image-8.png


2012 PRICE OF OT I
$2,750​


EXPLANATION OF WHY THE PRICE INCREASED 3700%: Good guess but--no--it wasn't inflation. $75 in the year 1972 would have a 2012 inflation value of $411 (not $2,750).

DESCRIPTION: The next level above "Clear" is Operating Thetan level I. COS promo describes is variously as:
- - "This Solo-audited level is the first step a Clear takes toward full OT abilities, and that first step is a fresh causative OT viewpoint of the MEST universe and other beings."​
- - "Extroverts a being and brings about an awareness of himself as a thetan to others and the physical universe."​

ABILITY GAINED FROM OT I:
- - "Freedom from inability to identify self in relation to others and the physical universe." ​
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WHAT WAS THE ULTRA CONFIDENTIAL PROCESS RUN ON OT I? The Clear was given a sheet of paper with 13 things to do somewhere in public where there were people that could be observed. The Clear was tasked to look at the people and write down ultra-confidential observations like how many bodies they counted. The customer ran this process on themselves, by themselves--after which they turned in a piece of paper with their observations.
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COS COST CONSIDERATIONS TO DELIVER OT I:
- - (1972): One sheet of paper with 13 instructions ($ 0.01)​
- - (2012): One sheet of paper with 13 instructions ($ 0.01)​
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PROFIT MARGINS COMPARISION:
- - (1972): ($ 74.99)​
- - (2012): ($ 2,749.99)​
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TECHNICAL ANALYSIS OF WHY THE PRICE OF OT I STRATOSPHERICALLY SOARED:
Why do Scientologists unquestioningly pay whatever price Hubbard tells them to pay?
- - Because Scientologists were told that the magical powers on OT I were "priceless" and they are trained to never dramatize the unethically evil lower condition of "DOUBT".​
Okay, but what policy allows Ron to totally just make up random lavishly crazy prices for non-existent magic powers and defraud people like that?!
- - [Surprise Ending]: The "Fair Game" policy, which makes it standardly sacred scripture to "lie" and "trick" anyone who didn't write the Fair Game policy.​
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