TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)



At first, Hubbard's "miraculous discoveries" seem kind of okay. . .


“When reading a book, be very certain that you never
go past a word you do not fully understand.
― L. Ron Hubbard


But then, when you think about it a few
seconds— he totally missed the entire point.


When writing a book, be very certain that you never
use a word you do not fully understand."
― Anonymous Scientist

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"THE GOAL OF SCIENTOLOGY IS A WORLD WITHOUT INSANITY"
—L. Ron Hubbard

"THE ALLEVIATION OF THE CONDITION OF
INSANITY HAS NOW BEEN ACCOMPLISHED"
—L. Ron Hubbard

. . .

If either of those two claims is true, why does
Scientology have volumes of policies strictly
forbidding the auditing of any person who is
insane, mentally ill or receiving professional
counseling and help for their mental illness?

If Scientology really. . .
"alleviated the condition of insanity" —
why did Hubbard go completely insane at the
end and and try to kill himself?

Paradoxically. . .
Hubbard did in fact
contribute greatly to the goal of
"a world without insanity"
(by courteously exiting the planet)


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Quixotic Quote Of The Day
. . .
.
"If things were a little better known and
understood, we would all lead happier lives."
—L. Ron Hubbard
HCO Policy: "How To Lead A Happier Life"

- - -

"I am hereby canceling the policy on 'How to Lead A Happier Life'
because it has led to people becoming enturbulated & going
downtone—when they began to search the internet and
the lavishly expensive hoax of Scientology became
'a little better known and understood' by them."
—L.Ron Hubbard
HCO Policy: "How To Mislead A Misinformed Cult"


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TRUTH IN ADVERTISING


BEFORE
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AFTER
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L. Ron Hubbard's most startling scientific achievement was the
blinding moment of cosmic illumination 75 years ago when he
discovered the basic and core controlling principle of all
life on this planet and for all of existence in the universe

This one (1) concept and one (1) word would unlock all the
hitherto unknowable mysteries of life and solve
all of mankind's conflicts and problems.

The controlling concept and word was. . .

SURVIVE!

That is the eternal principle for which
all life strived. That's the solitary guiding
impulse & intention that life was trying to do.

And now, in 2025, we stand upon the shoulders of
Dr. Hubbard's monumentally life-changing discovery
to make yet an even bigger scientific breakthrough. We
have discovered the solitary dynamic principle
of what Scientology is trying to do!

CELEBRATE!

That explains every single thing that Scientology ever did or
ever will attempt to do in the future. Celebrate! That is
Scientology's singular dynamic intention and action.

Scientology gloriously & lavishly celebrates--things that never happened.

That is precisely how Scientology grew into a million-dollar cult and
a 'magic-powers-for-money' hyperbolically hypocritical hoax.

That's how humans were captured & conned into investing
all of their time and all of their money in — nothing.

There is nothing more to it. When people realize that
nothing happened to celebrate, they leave the cult.
When people think there is something to celebrate
they do very odd things like go bankrupt, disconnect
from their families and sign billion year contracts.


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HelluvaHoax! said:
That explains every single thing that Scientology ever did or
ever will attempt to do in the future. Celebrate! That is
Scientology's singular dynamic intention and action.
Scientology gloriously & lavishly celebrates--
things that never happened.

That is precisely how Scientology grew into a million-dollar cult and
a 'magic-powers-for-money' hyperbolically hypocritical hoax.

That's how humans were captured & conned into investing
all of their time and all of their money in — nothing.

There is nothing more to it. When people realize that
nothing happened to celebrate, they leave the cult.
When people think there is something to celebrate
they do very odd things like go bankrupt, disconnect
from their families and sign billion year contracts. ​
Click to expand...



.
SCIENTOLOGY IS THE SCIENCE OF
KNOWING HOW TO KNOW CELEBRATE

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The_Fixer said:
Look at all those balloons...

Hmmm. So that's what happened to this week's toilet paper budget!
Click to expand...


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lol lol, hilarious!

I just sent a CSW uplines to handle this situation.

The solution is recycling.

The orgs should have all PCS and STUDENTS write their Success Stories on toilet paper. After they get a floating needle, the billions of wins memorialized on toilet paper can be digitally scanned and then the TP can be recycled into the rest rooms and re-purposed.

I am always thinking of ways to help the cult stretch their dollars and get toilet paper thru FP (Financial Planning).

If anyone sends a COMMENDATION REPORT on my bright idea, please cc a copy to my ethics folder so i can get invited to OT IX when it is released.

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HelluvaHoax! said:
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TRUTH IN ADVERTISING


BEFORE
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AFTER
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Click to expand...



The CoS has a long history of being untruthful in advertising and almost everything else.

I'm beginning to sense a dramatic shift though, even in some of their publishing.

I posted an example of this the other day in a different thread. The Way to Happiness booklets have been revised to make them more in alignment with genuine Scientology Ethics. This is an example of how one of the TWTH precepts has been tweaked to make it more authentic.









TWTH 8.jpg
 
Type4_PTS said:
The CoS has a long history of being untruthful in advertising and almost everything else.

I'm beginning to sense a dramatic shift though, even in some of their publishing.

I posted an example of this the other day in a different thread. The Way to Happiness booklets have been revised to make them more in alignment with genuine Scientology Ethics. This is an example of how one of the TWTH precepts has been tweaked to make it more authentic.









View attachment 27645
Click to expand...

They also had to modernise them to update from the 1950s style of thinking and storytelling.

A lot of what they say is coming from a very old place. Take Xenu for example. 1950s-60s DC 8 transport spacecraft? Even today's hardcore followers would have a struggle swallowing that one. It shows that they haven't been keeping up with the latest UFO conspiracies, etc.
 
HelluvaHoax! said:
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.
lol lol, hilarious!

I just sent a CSW uplines to handle this situation.

The solution is recycling.

The orgs should have all PCS and STUDENTS write their Success Stories on toilet paper. After they get a floating needle, the billions of wins memorialized on toilet paper can be digitally scanned and then the TP can be recycled into the rest rooms and re-purposed.

I am always thinking of ways to help the cult stretch their dollars and get toilet paper thru FP (Financial Planning).

If anyone sends a COMMENDATION REPORT on my bright idea, please cc a copy to my ethics folder so i can get invited to OT IX when it is released.

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Click to expand...

When you said recycling toilet paper, my mind went oh crap! (see what I did there?)

Then you said something else, so it wasn't so bad.

I can hear all the RPFers going..."Shhh, STFU!. Don't give Davy ideas of more horrible things for us to do for atonement....."
 

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QUIXOTIC QUOTE
du jour


AFTER EDITING
"There are 55 axioms in Scientology which are very
demonstrably true, and on these can be constructed a great deal."
—L. Ron Hubbard


BEFORE EDITING
"There are 55 axioms in Scientology which are very demonstrably
true, and on these can be constructed a great deal. In fact, it was
the greatest deal of my life because I made up imaginary OT
states and supernatural powers and that deal caused duped
donors to pay me hundreds of millions of dollars!"
—L. Ron Hubbard​


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"Nothing in Scientology is true for you unless you have
observed it and it is true according to your observation."
—L. Ron Hubbard


Voluminous verbosity was one of L. Ron Hubbard's cringiest
character flaws and tells that revealed his pathological lying.
For example, if Hubbard had edited out 75% of the above
words he would have been 100% correct (as follows):


"Nothing in Scientology is true for you unless you have
observed it and it is true according to your observation."
—L. Ron Hubbard


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HelluvaHoax! said:
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"Nothing in Scientology is true for you unless you have
observed it and it is true according to your observation."
—L. Ron Hubbard...​
Click to expand...



Wait, is that true?

I think to be 100% accurate, it requires a very minor edit. Nothing to worry about. . .


"Nothing in Scientology is true for you unless you have Ron has
observed it and it is true according to your Ron's observation."
—L. Ron Hubbard...​

If something is "not true for you" (i.e. you have disagreed with the infallible holy scripture of Dr. Hubbard) you will be subjected to an ever-expanding multitude of CORRECTION TOOLS, including but limited to:

Word Clearing
Pink Sheets
Retraining
Cramming
False Data Stripping
Sec Checking
Lower Ethics Conditions
Overboarding
Chain Locker imprisonment
Overt/Withhold writeups to confess your "crimes"
Evil Purpose Rundown
Truth Rundown
Ethics Investigations
Non-Enturbulation Orders
Committees of Evidence
Suppressive Person Declare
Fair Game
etc........​

The bait of Scientology is that you gain "TOTAL FREEDOM" and the switch is that if you dare to use any of that freedom to disagree with Hubbard or the guru-du-jour, you are going to be severely punished by any means necessary to force you to renounce yourself and your former false and defamatory statements---and to doing an extensive and even lavishly expensive "amends project" in order to "make up the damage" that you did.

Because by disagreeing with Hubbard you in fact are guilty of "High Crimes" for the savagely evil act of "sabotaging Ron's Bridge which is mankind's only hope".

But all that aside, please do enjoy your new "Total Freedom" to think or say anything you like!


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SCIENTOLOGY PARADOX #1
Scientology guarantees its paying customers that with
sufficient "donations" they will attain "TOTAL FREEDOM".

However, Scientologists who have invested decades and even a
million dollars or more are NOT FREE to perform any due
diligence as to whether the "miraculous tech" works or not.*

​
* Ask yourself, have you ever personally seen anyone show up where Hubbard or Miscavige was pitching
the money-for-magical-powers hoax—and directly ask them to demonstrate how they can exteriorize or
any one of the other top 100 supernatural OT feats? You can test whether asking for proof is a mortal sin
and "high crime" in Scientology right now by trying this fun experiment. Go into any Scientology center
in the world. Just stroll in and politely state that you are very interested in Scientology but you would
first like to speak to an Operating Thetan. When they ask you why you want to do that, just casually
mention that you recently inherited a trust fund that has $800,000 in it that you would like to use to
become an OT. Meekly apologize for being slightly skeptical and let them know that it shouldn't take
more than 3 minutes or so to complete your due diligence once you have a chance to speak to an OT.
At that point they will try to use advanced word-salad gaslighting to talk you out of your crazy idea.
If that doesn't work and you continue asking the assembled staff members (trying to handle you) if
any of them can kindly just show you one of their miraculous powers, they will kick you out of the
org and issue a "Non Enturbulation Order" that threatens you with being declared an SP. That's
an enemy of Scientology and Ron who will then be targeted for destruction by "Fair Game" policies.

SUMMARY: Despite Hubbard's "sacred scripture" claiming that Scientology is the science of
"knowing how to know", anyone who attempts to "know" whether the tech works is declared to
be an evil psychotic that must be "destroyed utterly". Other than that minor outpoint, it is good
to remember that Scientology is saving the planet because it is "mankind's only hope". Yes, you
can expect a "Non Enturbulation Order" because reality is very enturbulating to OTs.


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Noteta said:
What is the difference between Scientology organizations and independent Scientology?
Click to expand...


Scientology organizations strictly enforce mandatory Uniform Prices for auditing and require Success Stories from anyone attesting to the miracle-producing state of OT.​
​
Whereas, Independent Scientology has no fixed prices for auditing and does not require success stories from anyone attesting to the miracle-producing state of OT.​
​
Despite their above differences, there is one remarkable similarity in that they both deliver Ron's 100% standard tech in which 100% of all beings attaining the miracle-producing state of OT are 100% not able to produce miracles.​
​
​
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HelluvaHoax! said:
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Scientology organizations strictly enforce mandatory Uniform Prices for auditing and require Success Stories from anyone attesting to the miracle-producing state of OT.​
​
Whereas, Independent Scientology has no fixed prices for auditing and does not require success stories from anyone attesting to the miracle-producing state of OT.​
​
Despite their above differences, there is one remarkable similarity in that they both deliver Ron's 100% standard tech in which 100% of all beings attaining the miracle-producing state of OT are 100% not able to produce miracles.​
​
​
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Click to expand...

Help me! 🙏🙏🙏🙏
 
HelluvaHoax! said:
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Scientology organizations strictly enforce mandatory Uniform Prices for auditing and require Success Stories from anyone attesting to the miracle-producing state of OT.​
​
Whereas, Independent Scientology has no fixed prices for auditing and does not require success stories from anyone attesting to the miracle-producing state of OT.​
​
Despite their above differences, there is one remarkable similarity in that they both deliver Ron's 100% standard tech in which 100% of all beings attaining the miracle-producing state of OT are 100% not able to produce miracles.​
​
​
...
Click to expand...

I am under independent mind control.
How to heal?
 
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Noteta said:
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I am under independent mind control.
How to heal?
.
Click to expand...


There are two (2) ways to leave the cult of Scientology and/or the independent cult of Scientology.

1. LEAVE! (e.g. walk away, use caller ID or change your phone number)

2. DO THE ENTIRE BRIDGE! (pay any amount they tell you to pay, do every auditing and
training action they tell you to do. Spend as many decades as necessary to ascend up the
"Grade Chart" to the highest OT level attainable. At that time you will have many miraculous
supernatural capabilities, including the ability to LEAVE—after you have noted that none of
your paranormal powers seem to work).

FREE BONUS TIP: When they send you your "SP DECLARE" which informs you that you
will never-ever-ever be able to do the as-yet-unreleased OT levels or come inside an org,
you should use "TR-2" to gratefully and profusely thank them!


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