TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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QUESTION: How much does it cost to do Scientology?

Leah Remini Says Scientology Cost Her a Total of $5M

Remini estimates she spent about $5 million in total in order to be a Scientologist.
Over the years she says she spent about $2 million for services and training courses and made another $3 million in donations. Among her expenses was $40,000 to compensate Scientology for sandwiches and snacks she stole as a teenager over a few months in the mid-1980s. . . FULL STORY


EXPLANATION: A Scientology "celebrity" is defined as: "...a being whose bank account balance equals or exceeds their tech estimate". OT celebrities are "very big beings", therefore it is logical that they have very big tech estimates.

This datum should not in any way discourage smaller beings, because they too can go OT on much a much smaller budget (with the understanding that their magical powers will only be capable of producing smaller miracles).


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Xenu Xenu Xenu

Well-known member
.
QUESTION: How much does it cost to do Scientology?

Leah Remini Says Scientology Cost Her a Total of $5M

Remini estimates she spent about $5 million in total in order to be a Scientologist.
Over the years she says she spent about $2 million for services and training courses and made another $3 million in donations. Among her expenses was $40,000 to compensate Scientology for sandwiches and snacks she stole as a teenager over a few months in the mid-1980s. . . FULL STORY


EXPLANATION: A Scientology "celebrity" is defined as: "...a being whose bank account balance equals or exceeds their tech estimate". OT celebrities are "very big beings", therefore it is logical that they have very big tech estimates.

This datum should not in any way discourage smaller beings, because they too can go OT on much a much smaller budget (with the understanding that their magical powers will only be capable of producing smaller miracles).


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The 40 grand bill for stolen food does not surprise anyone here, I would bet. Because of that, I don't have to explain this in words. The Tao that can be explained in words is not the Tao at all.

Hubbard is not even alive and yet his behaviour is imprinted on all the staff worldwide and to a lesser extent the paying public Scientologists. That fact never ceases to make my head shake.

Maybe that is why prostitutes don't generally join Scientology. One pimp in their life is more than enough.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
.

That last post by Xenu Xenu Xenu made a lovely reference to the 2400 year old Tao Te Ching, written by Lao Tzu.


Although I am not a master of the Tao ("The Way"), i do keep a number of different translations of it in my study. And (for anyone interested) there are many more free versions online.

The book is tiny. It only has 81 short "verses" that each takes only a few moments to read, but perhaps a lifetime to fully appreciate.

If you find the right verse for the right occasion, it may point one in the right direction, towards what might be described as profound insight—or perhaps even a glimpse of the divine. I had such an experience once when I went to browse in in one of my favorite bookstores. Yeah, this happened more than a dozen years ago, before I surrendered to the fact that the world's entire collection of the 130M books ever published was all available instantly with a tiny "click"motion of my index finger that is resting on my mouse at this moment.

Well i walked right past the occult section on this particular day as I normally did (having had my appetite for transcendental secrets sated some years before at RON'S ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT COSMIC CAFE. But for some reason I paused when I spotted a colorful illustration version of Tao Te Ching. I wondered, why are people still studying a 2400 year old Chinese book. What's the big deal? I had similar occasions on walking past a section of Christian Bibles, but I never was curious enough to read one. That day was different, somehow. So I stopped and pulled the book off the shelf and just randomly flipped open to a page that contained only 4 short sentences.
of typing. Well, I say it was "random" but now I am not entirely sure.

In the next few moments of reading those 4 sentences, a thunderbolt of insight and illumination hit. I was perhaps 3 years or so into this new business venture that I had founded that sought to develop a groundbreaking new technology. At great risk I had merrily sailed into this new venture, wildly underestimating both the difficulty factor and also ungodly sums of money (that I could hardly afford to lose!) which it was costing me personally—in a Quixotic attempt to achieve a "proof of concept" at some basic confirmational level. Yet, it wasn't until i read those 4 lines that I actually understood fully for the first time what my own company and it's envisioned "product" was all about. It changed the R&D, the company's visionary direction and even the way to speak about or explain the innovative new technology.

Against the wishes of a business partner I had at that time, I decided to share my "moment of illumination" with a few of the world's greatest experts in this field I was hoping to break into. I was admonished NOT to send a colorful memo about it. The fear was that I (and the fledgling company) would seem flakey. But I did anyways. And I heard back from one of the great masters of this field of technology and he really loved the memo and even expressed an interest to assist the tiny startup company, et al. Well, that's an entire story unto itself, which might be told in another place and time.

I relayed this narrative (in case anyone is still reading, lol) because after reading Xenu Xenu Xenu's post (above) I got curious about looking at one of my TAO books and flipping around a bit to see if anything cosmic might happen again. LOL

Yeah, it kinda did.

[see next post - The Tao Of Scientology, part 2]

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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THE TAO OF SCIENTOLOGY - PART 2

Certainly much of the great fascination surrounding Scientology is how the hell such an incredibly stupid and obvious fraud, (which cannot even get its own story straight) is able to ensnare and trap otherwise functional people into one of the dumbest hoaxes in human history.

You are perhaps wondering "What story can't they get straight"? How about these stories?

WE'RE A MODERN SCIENCE!

WE'RE A PHILOSOPHY!

WE'RE A RELIGION!

WE'RE AN APPLIED RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHY!

WE'RE A TRILLION YEAR OLD WHOLETRACK
TECHNOLOGY RETURNING TO SAVE YOU!

WE CAN UNLOCK YOUR MAGICAL MIRACLE
POWERS AND YOU CAN BE AN IMMORTAL
GOD AND INSTANTLY HAVE EVERYTHING
YOU EVER DREAMED OF AND LIVE IN
INDESCRIBABLE BLISS FOREVER!​

Yes, they're very confused. But know this—that they want nothing more than for YOU to be profoundly more confused!

There are quite a number of gimmicks that the cult of Scientology uses to trap their prey. Much has been discussed about this for a dozen or more years on this forum. There are multiple MODELS and METAPHORS all explain to some degree how and why people cannot escape the mind-trap that Hubbard devised for them. They are all very legitimate explanations (e.g. Scientology's "multilayered onion", Hubbard's rhetoric, indoctrination, lying, gaslighting, et al).

About 6 months ago, I quickly pulled together a little Ven Diagram that contained some of the more popular gimmicks the cult uses to keep its prisoners happy.


Each of those "bubbles" has its own peculiar narrative and dynamics which explain how and why it works.

However the bubble that has been the most fascinating subject of conversation (to myself and ILove2Lurk and perhaps a couple others) over the past many years is the one called "IMAGINATION". That particular trap somehow seemed to crazy glue each individual into the pretend universe of Scientology, by seducing Scientologists to used their own creativity and imaginations against themselves. How do they do that?! As long as we are on the subject of 4500 year old Chinese philosophers, just think "Chinese Finger Trap".



The more you try to withdraw (escape), the more
hopelessly tight the psychological constraints become.

Harnessing the Scientologist's imagination and creativity against themselves creates an indefatigable and virally infinite self-replenishing supply of cloned prison guards—and each of them looks exactly like you!

I have learned over a lifetime of various creative projects to remain humble and awestruck at the invisible, infinite and seemingly "magical" properties of the uncharted invisible creative universe that every human crosses paths with every single day, whether they are an artist of some kind or not.

I wonder what is inside that invisible universe of creativity and imagination--that can produce such beauty and magic in a never ending stream back here on Earth. I was forever fascinated with how that "hidden world" and the physical world could co-exist and even (it seems) join hands to interact and feed each other in some mystically perpetual and harmonious way.

Then (today) I found the best explanation of it I could imagine. In that book, the Tao Te Ching. It's how the "hidden" (imagination) and the real are forever connected.

“Indeed, the hidden and the manifest give birth to each other.”
- Lao Tzu

And that majestic balance in the universe, if inverted by the unscrupulous, is how cult members of any denomination can become perpetuity prisoners in their own virally self-propagated imaginative trap.



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D

Deleted member 51

Guest
.
.

That last post by Xenu Xenu Xenu made a lovely reference to the 2400 year old Tao Te Ching, written by Lao Tzu.


Although I am not a master of the Tao ("The Way"), i do keep a number of different translations of it in my study. And (for anyone interested) there are many more free versions online.

The book is tiny. It only has 81 short "verses" that each takes only a few moments to read, but perhaps a lifetime to fully appreciate.

If you find the right verse for the right occasion, it may point one in the direction, towards what might be described as profound insight—or perhaps even a glimpse of the divine. I had such an experience once when I went to browse in in one of my favorite bookstores. Yeah, this happened more than a dozen years ago, before I surrendered to the fact that the world's entire collection of the 130M books ever published was all available instantly with a tiny "click"motion of my index finger that is resting on my mouse at this moment.

Well i walked right past the occult section on this particular day as I normally did (having had my appetite for transcendental secrets sated some years before at RON'S ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT COSMIC CAFE. But for some reason I paused when I spotted a colorful illustration version of Tao Te Ching. I wondered, why are people still studying a 2400 year old Chinese book. What's the big deal? I had similar occasions on walking past a section of Christian Bibles, but I never was curious enough to read one. That day was different, somehow. So I stopped and pulled the book off the shelf and just randomly flipped open to a page that contained only 4 short sentences.
of typing. Well, I say it was "random" but now I am not entirely sure.

In the next few moments of reading those 4 sentences, a thunderbolt of insight and illumination hit. I was perhaps 3 years or so into this new business venture that I had founded that sought to develop a groundbreaking new technology. At great risk I had merrily sailed into this new venture, wildly underestimating both the difficulty factor and also ungodly sums of money (that I could hardly afford to lose!) which it was costing me personally—in a Quixotic attempt to achieve a "proof of concept" at some basic confirmational level. Yet, it wasn't until i read those 4 lines that I actually understood fully for the first time what my own company and it's envisioned "product" was all about. It changed the R&D and even the way to speak about or explain the innovative concept.

Against the wishes of a business partner I had at that time, I decided to share my "moment of illumination" with a few of the world's greatest experts in this field I was hoping to break into. I was admonished NOT to send a colorful memo about it. The fear was that I (and the fledgling company) would seem flakey. But I did anyways. And I heard back from one of the great masters of this field of technology and he really loved the memo and even expressed an interest to assist the tiny startup company, et al. Well, that's an entire story unto itself, which might be told in another place and time.

I relayed this narrative (in case anyone is still reading, lol) because after reading Xenu Xenu Xenu's post (above) I got curious about looking at one of my TAO books and flipping around a bit to see if anything cosmic might happen again. LOL

Yeah, it kinda did.

[see next post - The Tao Of Scientology, part 2]

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What a great post. 🤗

I studied Lao Tzu and Taoism in a World Religion/ History class in my first year of High School. What a hard class! The greatest experience of that class was discovering and enjoying the ancient wisdom of Lao Tzu.

So much insight in so few words.

Before I was roped into Scn, I told others I was a Taoist. :LOL: “What’s that?” they’d ask. “All of life is a circle,” was the best answer I had, but still, eyes opened. “Ahhh!”

I got a lot of joy out of Lao Tzu’s insights. Thanks for reminding me, HH and Xenu Xenu Xenu. I’m going to pick up that little book again straight away. 😊
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
What a great post. 🤗

I studied Lao Tzu and Taoism in a World Religion/ History class in my first year of High School. What a hard class! The greatest experience of that class was discovering and enjoying the ancient wisdom of Lao Tzu.

So much insight in so few words.

Before I was roped into Scn, I told others I was a Taoist. :LOL: “What’s that?” they’d ask. “All of life is a circle,” was the best answer I had, but still, eyes opened. “Ahhh!”

I got a lot of joy out of Lao Tzu’s insights. Thanks for reminding me, HH and Xenu Xenu Xenu. I’m going to pick up that little book again straight away. 😊
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Wow, pretty damn amazing that you discovered Taoism in high school! Was your high school perhaps located atop a Tibetan mountain? LOL.

Jeez, in high school I was mainly concerned about memorizing certain years when wars began.

And then as a little teenie-bopper (listening to Beatles/Zeppelin, dancing to James Brown, partying with herbal enhancements, chasing girls and lots of other really interesting and scary random chaos, I began to study Indian mysticism in frightfully esoteric books, and thought "Hey, shouldn't I be traveling to India to meet my guru or some junk?" lol. But moments later I discovered a domestic guru and all his devotees looked me blinklessly in the eye and swore they had magical powers. I was pretty polite then, having grown up learning respect/manners from the day i arrived on earth--so i didn't pressure anyone to SHOW their magical powers. And (I don't know about your school) but my high school didn't teach a class in how adults (and scientists and nuclear physicists and doctors and war heroes) writing "science" books could just make it all up and lie. Yeah, I learned some historical dates but nobody taught me about the subject of pathological liars, cults, con artists or hoaxes.

Next lifetime i want to go to your high school! LOL

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D

Deleted member 51

Guest
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Wow, pretty damn amazing that you discovered Taoism in high school! Was your high school perhaps located atop a Tibetan mountain? LOL.

Jeez, in high school I was mainly concerned about memorizing certain years when wars began.

And then as a little teenie-bopper (listening to Beatles/Zeppelin, dancing to James Brown, partying with herbal enhancements, chasing girls and lots of other really interesting and scary random chaos, I began to study Indian mysticism in frightfully esoteric books, and thought "Hey, shouldn't I be traveling to India to meet my guru or some junk?" lol. But moments later I discovered a domestic guru and all his devotees looked me blinklessly in the eye and swore they had magical powers. I was pretty polite then, having grown up learning respect/manners from the day i arrived on earth--so i didn't pressure anyone to SHOW their magical powers. And (I don't know about your school) but my high school didn't teach a class in how adults (and scientists and nuclear physicists and doctors and war heroes) writing "science" books could just make it all up and lie. Yeah, I learned some historical dates but nobody taught me about the subject of pathological liars, cults, con artists or hoaxes.

Next lifetime i want to go to your high school! LOL

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I’ll bet you’d really love my HS, since it was only for girls! :LOL: Next lifetime, I want to finish High School and completely skip the Scientology experience!

I went to two different all girls’ Catholic high schools because my older sister didn’t like the first one and mom didn’t like the idea of women studying machinery and drafting so I couldn’t go to Lane Tech. It was only the second year that Lane accepted girls and you had to have a B+ average and top ACTs but I made it. Mom, however, would not budge. So off I went to Catholic school.

The class was a combined world literature and world history class for honors students. It was 80 minutes long instead of 40 minutes
and I sucked at memorizing dates. Resurrection Pahiti sat in front of me, who could have been the smartest girl in the world. She also had the longest hair I’d ever seen. A good Hispanic Catholic name, Resurrection! :yes: Some other girls in my classes had names like Faith and Trinity. Faith was a tiny, buxom blonde hard rocker in homeroom who never missed a concert.

It took me six months to find the fun crowd at that Catholic school, lol! because we were all from different grade schools. Then it was weed every morning and White Castle afterward where all the kids met between bus transfers. But I still kept my grades up! :coolwink:

I also loved Led Zeppelin and went to two concerts the following year. But also loved Genesis, Pink Floyd, Moody Blues, the Beatles, and all those. My friend’s brother had a band that played all over the city so weekends were a blast. Good times. :thumbsup:
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

from another thread commenting
about Scientology management's
inestimable ineptitude. . .


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If the tech worked, then they would have had no problem.
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Yes!

And any part of the tech (Auditing, Training, Admin, Ethics...) had worked, Scientology management would have "Declared" itself SP and removed itself from post. Failing that, Scientology public "OTs" would have spotted and handled their own personal "PTS" condition and "shattered" and "offloaded" the SPs that created/managed Scientology.

In truth, if ANY part of Scientology worked it would have gotten rid of the thing causing the daily avalanche of fraud and "overt products" by closing Scientology's doors immediately.

SUMMARY: Scientology has vowed as its sacred mission to "put in ethics on this planet". They assure us that they are quite easily able to handle the ethics of 7.9 billion individuals and make them all into ethical and able beings. Paradoxically, however, they are unable, to put ethics in on the 2-3 people who control the COS (Crimewave Of Scientology).

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D

Deleted member 51

Guest
The 40 grand bill for stolen food does not surprise anyone here, I would bet. Because of that, I don't have to explain this in words. The Tao that can be explained in words is not the Tao at all.

Hubbard is not even alive and yet his behaviour is imprinted on all the staff worldwide and to a lesser extent the paying public Scientologists. That fact never ceases to make my head shake.

Maybe that is why prostitutes don't generally join Scientology. One pimp in their life is more than enough.
Ah, the Tao. :biglove:

On my way to pick up a new battery for my car, I passed a huge bookstore that has been having a “Going Out of Business” sale for about four months so I stopped in.

I walked out with a stunningly beautiful hard copy of “Tao Te Ching” (Dao De Jing) in both English and Chinese for about $11, bought the pocket sized book for $8 and topped it off with “Siddhartha. Your Soul is the Whole World” for $7 just because the book clerk loved it so much.💕

So here’s a random quote:

Chapter 14
The Essence of the Tao

“To look but not to see is called yi
To listen but not hear is called xi
To strive but not attain is called wei
These three things are beyond our comprehension
Together they form the Dao
It is neither bright above nor dark below
Endlessly linked, it returns to nothingness—
The formless form
Shape without substance, it is called the Abstract
From in front you cannot see its beginning
From behind you cannot see its end.
Understand the ancient Dao to order the affairs of today.
This is the essence of the Dao.”
 

Xenu Xenu Xenu

Well-known member
Ah, the Tao. :biglove:

On my way to pick up a new battery for my car, I passed a huge bookstore that has been having a “Going Out of Business” sale for about four months so I stopped in.

I walked out with a stunningly beautiful hard copy of “Tao Te Ching” (Dao De Jing) in both English and Chinese for about $11, bought the pocket sized book for $8 and topped it off with “Siddhartha. Your Soul is the Whole World” for $7 just because the book clerk loved it so much.💕

So here’s a random quote:

Chapter 14
The Essence of the Tao

“To look but not to see is called yi
To listen but not hear is called xi
To strive but not attain is called wei
These three things are beyond our comprehension
Together they form the Dao
It is neither bright above nor dark below
Endlessly linked, it returns to nothingness—
The formless form
Shape without substance, it is called the Abstract
From in front you cannot see its beginning
From behind you cannot see its end.
Understand the ancient Dao to order the affairs of today.
This is the essence of the Dao.”
It's been a while since I read anything from the TAO. l do try to keep it in mind though. Not a day passes where I don't think of it.

I still like ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND and THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, AND WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE. Somehow and someway doing TRs did not lessen ("that's why they are called lessons, because they lessen...") my appreciation for those books.

I like THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ. I doubt I will ever read it again though. The book reminds me and makes me think of all the people Scientology has fooled and harmed, if you can understand that.

“If I run I may fall down and break myself.
But could you not be mended? asked the girl.
Oh yes; but one is never so pretty after being mended, you know.”

― Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
 
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ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
However the bubble that has been the most fascinating subject of conversation (to myself and ILove2Lurk and perhaps a couple others) over the past many years is the one called "IMAGINATION". That particular trap somehow seemed to crazy glue each individual into the pretend universe of Scientology, by seducing Scientologists to used their own creativity and imaginations against themselves.
Today, I'll tell you about the day I unlocked the code that unlocked
the "mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma" named Hubbard
for myself. And that key was imagination. My imagination.

Many years ago, I picked up a book about out-of-body techniques at a
bargain table out of curiosity: Less Incomplete: A Guide to Experiencing
the Human Condition beyond the Physical Body.
Thought I'd take a look
at it. I'm always curious.

It had an organized, almost scientific patois with plenty of footnotes from
people with initials after their names about "research" they had done. The
whole process of out-of-body experiences was very descriptive and detailed.

What was the most stunning part for me was the detailed descriptions of the
concentric zones of realities I would encounter as I traveled further and further
out from my body into what I'll loosely call the "etheric planes" of existence.

The author really described them in detail and fleshed them out, so I would know
what to expect and find when I went out and beyond.

The light bulb turned on brightly. Yes, I've been down this road before with Hubbard.
This road exactly.

If I tried her technique, I would definitely see -- or mock up in my imagination -- everything
just as she described it.* After all:

  • I spent the money on the book.
  • I spent the hours reading it.
  • I wanted to succeed and not fail.
  • I had a goal I wanted to achieve.
  • I didn't want to disappoint myself (or her).
Well, I knew I'd mock up -- imagine with great detail -- exactly what was expected.
What was described in the book.

This is the same identical path I had earlier followed with my entrée to Hubbard
and his world and worldview.
  • I spent the money on the books.
  • I spent the hours reading them.
  • I wanted to succeed and not fail.
  • I had a goal I wanted to achieve.
  • I didn't want to disappoint myself (or my auditor or pcs).
Well, I did mock up -- imagine with great detail -- exactly what was expected, what
was in all the books and tapes.

My imagination became subservient to, a temporary possession controlled by Hubbard's mind.
Dominated by his inventions and mental images and ideas with my willing permission, of course.

Hubbard invented a whole detailed world to explore: space opera, Marcab, Arslycus, exteriorization,
ridges, flows, energies, engrams. And we all mocked it up in unison from the stuff we'd read
and heard. Must be true then. We all see, mock up, imagine the same mental artifacts and memories
he writes about. That's how it all works.
Sidebar
Likewise, Democrats all see, mock up, imagine the same concepts, ideologies, narratives and complaints​
their opinion leaders write about. That's how that all works, too.​
The same could be said for Black Lives Matter or CRT believers. Or traditional religious zealots, UFO cults,​
bizzare academic groups, corporate evangelists, ad infinitum. There are so many mind traps out there. All​
sorta work the same way at the core.​

But the power of it all was always my ability to understand what I had read and my powers of imagination
or mocking up or pretending, which I gotta say are pretty good. Have always been pretty good.

Sorry for being so windy, but that's how I figured out the "imagination thing" for myself.

Willie Wonka explains it all right here in a song:


~ click to view larger ~

:coolwink:

* I never tried the OOB technique or finished the book after my cognition. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
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ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
I tell ya what. If new people come around and want to get an education
and a deep-dive philisophical and practical deconstruction of all things
Hubbard and scientology, they needn't waste their time watching videos
of the defunct Incredible String Band. They just need to do a serious read
of this entire thread and search out some of the more super-insightful and
thought-provoking posts, interspersed among the humorous and fun ones.
There's some serious "peeling the onion" had been done on this thread. :hattip:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
from another thread discussing Tom Cruise's newfound OT powers
based on an entertaining article at
The Underground Bunker

"Tom Cruise's Scientology Superpowers,
Always Finding The Best Parking Spot"

EXCERPT:
We’ve published examples of these OT success stories for years, and one thing that has always struck us is how many of them have to do with driving, green lights, parking spaces, and other fortuitous little coincidences.Here’s a short sample of the dozens of these stories we’ve published over the years. And yes, these are actual stories of OT miracles published by Scientology’s own magazine over the years as examples of the superpowers that you too will attain once you’ve spent the fortune in cash it costs to go OT…

"This has to do with postulates and intention. I was driving down Alvarado Blvd. toward a bookstore that I wanted to stop in to for information. But I knew that the parking around the place was usually very difficult and I didn’t want to spend the time walking from a distant parking place. So I just started intending that there would be a space available for me in front of the store. Just a light little postulate and with no counter-intention there. A half a block away I could see that there were no parking places available. But when I was within 100 yards of the store a man came out and got in his car which was parked all but in front of the store. I just pulled up behind him so that he had plenty of room to pull out and in a twinkle I was into the spot." OT VIII

- END OF PARKING MIRACLES - Part I -


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D

Deleted member 51

Guest
.
from another thread discussing Tom Cruise's newfound OT powers
based on an entertaining article at
The Underground Bunker
"Tom Cruise's Scientology Superpowers,
Always Finding The Best Parking Spot"

EXCERPT:
We’ve published examples of these OT success stories for years, and one thing that has always struck us is how many of them have to do with driving, green lights, parking spaces, and other fortuitous little coincidences.Here’s a short sample of the dozens of these stories we’ve published over the years. And yes, these are actual stories of OT miracles published by Scientology’s own magazine over the years as examples of the superpowers that you too will attain once you’ve spent the fortune in cash it costs to go OT…

"This has to do with postulates and intention. I was driving down Alvarado Blvd. toward a bookstore that I wanted to stop in to for information. But I knew that the parking around the place was usually very difficult and I didn’t want to spend the time walking from a distant parking place. So I just started intending that there would be a space available for me in front of the store. Just a light little postulate and with no counter-intention there. A half a block away I could see that there were no parking places available. But when I was within 100 yards of the store a man came out and got in his car which was parked all but in front of the store. I just pulled up behind him so that he had plenty of room to pull out and in a twinkle I was into the spot." Jonathan Fox, OT

- END OF PARKING MIRACLES - Part I -


.
It was the OTs that caused all the shutdowns by postulating too enthusiastically for parking spaces.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

PARKING MIRACLES - Part II
Frankly, we are extremely relieved to hear about parking miracles again, because in recent years, the NUMBER OF PUBLISHED PARKING MIRACLES statistic has alarmingly crashed! We asked OT Tom Cruise about why this downstat was happening and a church spokesperson got back to us, stating:

"Mr. Cruise's enthusiasm about Scientologists' parking powers has never been greater! At his own expense and using Ron's Data Series evaluation technology, Tom personally undertook an extensively long study—in order to find any explanation for the downtrending parking predicament. After 17 months of scientific research Tom made a huge and unprecedented breakthrough when he discovered that "The Why" that people were being denied from having parking miracles was due to the recent spike in suppressive psych-backed organizations like Uber and Lyft. Tom emphasized that his message to the world is to stay positive and focus only on theta things, and in this regard Mr. Cruise wants to share with you the incredibly awesome news that he is the very first person on the planet to complete the newly released level of OT IX when he just attested to THE STATE OF PTS! (Parking Task Specialist)."
- END OF PARKING MIRACLES - Part II -


.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

PARKING MIRACLES - Part III -

THE POWER OF PARKING POSTULATES

There is one very perplexing and deeply troubling part of that OT parking success story above. . .

". . .just a light little postulate and with no counter-intention there. A half a block away I could see that there were no parking places available. But when I was within 100 yards of the store a man came out and got in his car which was parked all but in front of the store. I just pulled up behind him so that he had plenty of room to pull out and in a twinkle I was into the spot."

I tried to clay demo it but miserably failed.

Wouldn't you love to know what happened when that man got home from the grocery store?

GUY WHO LEFT THE PARKING SPACE
Honey! I'm home!

WIFE OF GUY
Hi dear! I was just going to call you to see what
was taking so long, because I prepared your
favorite dinner and I was afraid that it
was going to get cold. Did you find
your favorite spaghetti sauce?

GUY WHO LEFT THE PARKING SPACE
Well.....um, yeah--I found it.

WIFE OF GUY
Okayyyyyy. Well where is it?!

GUY WHO LEFT THE PARKING SPACE
Well....I don't know.

WIFE
Wuttt? What do you mean you don't know?!

GUY WHO LEFT THE PARKING SPACE
Well....that's the thing. I don't know what happened.
I was in the store shopping and I found my favorite spaghetti
sauce and put it in my cart. But the next thing you know I was
suddenly overcome with some kind of powerful and irresistible
force that prevented me from getting in line to pay for it.
Instead, I had this overwhelming compulsion to exit the
store and get in the car and pull away from my parking
spot--and drive home. And so--yeah.That happened.

WIFE
What the hell are you even talking about?!

GUY WHO LEFT THE PARKING SPACE
Honey, I don't even know what I am talking about,
but it was the weirdest moment of my entire life.
And even more bizarre than all that is when I
backed out of my parking space, I noticed the
guy who was pulling in and he had this huge
creepy otherworldly grin on his face—and
I could have sworn it was Tom Cruise!



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
PARKING MIRACLES - Part IV
Miraculously messianic moviestar Tom Cruise most assuredly has PARKING POSTULATE POWERS!

scan of archived Advance! magazine (1967)

Everyone attains such magical abilities when they connect to Scientology Co-Sources L. Ron Hubbard and David Miscavige—and attain the state of PTS.

Parking Tech Specialist. (wait, you weren't thinking that abbreviation meant something else, were you?)


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Steve Bannon??? :D
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.
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Perhaps. . .

But, there's also a possibility that it's actually Don Bannon—Steve's estranged and evil twin brother.

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