TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

Type4_PTS

Well-known member
. Can anyone imagine what would happen if a Scientologist in session brightened up and excitedly told the auditor their huge cognition--that Scientology doesn't work because there was nothing wrong with them in the first place, other than being an imperfect human being?
A Scientologist might respond in this way:
"Thank you for telling me that! To help you with this issue is the whole purpose of Scientology! Do you want to remain as a degraded imperfect human being? Or would you rather get onto the road of returning to your native state where you are TOTAL CAUSE?! :D
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Talking about imagination, imagine if John Lennon had been in Scientology and then blew. . .


BEFORE AFTER SCIENTOLOGY

Imagine there's no heaven OT
It's easy if you try blow
No hell below BTs inside us
Above us, only sky Total Freedom, just say no!

Imagine all the people wasted money
Livin' for Spendin' it today!
Ah

Imagine there's no countries Grade Chart
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die fair game or pay for
And no religion, too!

Imagine all the people OT celebrities
Livin' life in peace Admittin' they got defrauded, just like u!

You may say I'm a dreamer an SP
But I'm not the only one one-one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world Hubbard's toxic hoax
will be as one undone.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
A Scientologist might respond in this way:
"Thank you for telling me that! To help you with this issue is the whole purpose of Scientology! Do you want to remain as a degraded imperfect human being? Or would you rather get onto the road of returning to your native state where you are TOTAL CAUSE?! :D

Yes, knowing-how-to-know Scientologists always know the answer!


OT VIII
To be honest, I never attained any OT abilities, I can't exteriorize.
I'm not total cause over life. I don't have freedom from overwhelm.
In fact I never even went Clear, I'm pretty much the same degraded
being that can't do anything more than any DB can do. Hey, I've
been in Scientology for 49 years—done all the auditing, rundowns,
training levels and OT debugs that exist--and none of it did anything.
Scientology didn't handle my case. Scientology did not handle my
ruin. Scientology did not do anything except make empty promises
and take all my money for the past half century. In fact now that
I think about it, Scientology actually ruined my life far more than
any ruin I came into Scientology to handle. So what are you
going to say to me now to trick me into continuing my Bridge?

REGISTRAR
I'm not going to lie to you. You're got hell of a lot of
ruins there that the tech couldn't handle.
But, Scientology can handle that.

OT VIII
Really? Wow that sounds amazing!

.
SUMMARY: Have I mentioned recently that Scientologists are Ideal Marks?

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Chuck J.

Election Fraud Has Consequences
"Then the next day all the flown-in Potemkinologists
fly back home and the 5 actual staff members spend
all day and night inside the 139,000 sq. foot monstrosity
writing hand-written letters to people who once bought a copy
of Dianetics in 1963, mistakenly thinking it was the weight-loss
book Dietetics, after which they tried to bring it back for a refund
& staff threatened to call the police and kill their pets if they didn't leave."

:D:roflmao::hysterical::clapping:
 

Type4_PTS

Well-known member
<snip>

OT VIII
<snip>
So what are you
going to say to me now to trick me into continuing my Bridge?


REGISTRAR
I'm not going to lie to you. You're got hell of a lot of
ruins there that didn't get handled. But
Scientology can handle that.

<snip>




At this point, the register would rout him to Qual so that the OT can be given the correct Correction List. LOL

There are so many solutions for his predicament:
1. Get him onto a PTS/SP Handling so he can find out who's been suppressing him all those years causing him not to get gains.
2. Start him back at the beginning of the bridge with some Objectives.
3. If he's out of money, Declare him SP and get him out the door.
4. Reg him for the next level or the L's if he hasn't done them yet. Clearly, that is what is needed.
5. Give him a Non-Enturbulation Order. Give him a choice - He can pay for 5 intensives of clearly needed Sec Checks or else can get
SP Declared.

I'm sure there are many other solutions.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
<snip>

OT VIII
<snip>
So what are you
going to say to me now to trick me into continuing my Bridge?


REGISTRAR
I'm not going to lie to you. You're got hell of a lot of
ruins there that didn't get handled. But
Scientology can handle that.

<snip>




At this point, the register would rout him to Qual so that the OT can be given the correct Correction List. LOL

There are so many solutions for his predicament:
1. Get him onto a PTS/SP Handling so he can find out who's been suppressing him all those years causing him not to get gains.
2. Start him back at the beginning of the bridge with some Objectives.
3. If he's out of money, Declare him SP and get him out the door.
4. Reg him for the next level or the L's if he hasn't done them yet. Clearly, that is what is needed.
5. Give him a Non-Enturbulation Order. Give him a choice - He can pay for 5 intensives of clearly needed Sec Checks or else can get
SP Declared.

I'm sure there are many other solutions.
.
LOL

And if none of that works, it's not really a problem. Because, there's a brand new tech breakthrough!

It's the CORRECTION LIST CORRECTION LIST.

It is an assessment done on an e-meter that lists out all the possible reasons that the previous correction lists did not handle it. Now for the first time you can correct your previous correction lists.

Once your past correction lists have been repaired, then you will be able to access and use all your supernatural OT powers. It's kind of like the REPAIR OF PAST ETHICS CONDITIONS, where Scientologists spend decades bogged down with conditions formulas that did not work. But now all that can be fixed by doing a new conditions formula on the previously failed conditions formula.

SUMMARY: Don't ask or worry how any of this works. It's quite complex and involves traveling backwards in time, trillions of years earlier on the time track. Once there, the being can research & understand how all this fits together or even makes sense. By the way, you are not "the being". And nobody else is "the being" either. The being is L. Ron Hubbard, he is the only one authorized to do wholetrack research and/or make huge discoveries!


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member


What Scientology wants Scientologists
to think about Hubbards High-tech Hoax. . .


SCIENTOLOGY CAN CURE ALL THAT
AFFLICTS & AILS MANKIND BECAUSE IT
IS THE MODERN SCIENCE OF EVERYTHING

"Scientology has the most advanced technology on this planet!"


2021



IS THERE AN EARLIER SIMILAR
MEDICAL QUACK DEVICE?








IS THERE AN EARLIER SIMILAR
MEDICAL QUACK DEVICE?



1953




IS THERE AN EARLIER SIMILAR
MEDICAL QUACK DEVICE?







1862

Victorian 19th Century
Patent Magneto Improved Electric Machine

A 19th century Magneto Improved Electric Machine which dates
to circa 1862. This machine was originally believed to cure
nervous disease using a dynamo with steel and magnet and
brass terminals to apply to the patient. Mild electrical
current was a popular method in the 19th

century to cure medical issues.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
PART II: High tech electronic quack devices to save the planet



Wait! Look at that incredible FREE GIFT OFFER
down in the lower righthand corner! Amazing value!!!
Those solo auditing electrodes are a total "loss leader"
because surely the church is losing money
here by giving away such high tech
soup cans for no exchange!

It's incredibly rare for Scientology to give anyone
anything for free. The only two things Scientology
gave away for free in the past 71 years was a
free OCA and a free STRESS TEST. But it turns
out that free sales pitches to spend $600,000
is not exactly "free", is it? But this time, they
really, really, really are giving you a priceless
GIFT for free! But you have to act now while
supplies last! Today only the Mark Ultra VIII
E-Meter is being offered at the low, low, low
discounted sale price of only $5000!!!*
SECURE YOUR ETERNITY
ORDER NOW!



* The special discounted $5000 price is only available to Scientologists in good standing who have purchased a lifetime or above IAS membership status. Customers must purchase two (2) e-meters per Dr. Hubbard's technical bulletin which states that auditors must always have a backup e-meter in extremely rare case they find themselves in session and the first e-meter has any technical malfunction. In such instances, rather than allow a restimulated PC in the middle of running a wholetrack engram to simply die, the second meter can be used to get them through the incident. Please note that your $10,000 check must be payable to the Church Of Scientology and no meters will be shipped before your check clears. This amazing discount price is only possible because in addition to our Church being a NON PROFIT ORGANIZATION. And despite the fact that we lose money on each sale, we make up for it in volume!

FREE BONUS INFO: Scientology's unparalleled generosity in allowing church members to acquire their e-meter for only $10,000 (and thus attain eternal godlike magically miraculous superpowers) when amortized over "eternity" is less than 1 penny per century! Per insider information, the church's COGS (cost of goods sold) is $500 per meter which renders a net profit to the non-profit of only $9000 per customer—which is less than the church's cost to purchase just one custom-made business suit for its selflessly altruistic Chairman.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

thanks to poster ISNOI for posting the following
ideal org's ideal letter to an ex-scientologist
on another discussion thread

LINK HERE
- - -

The following letter sent to an ex-Scientologist
who demanded to be removed from the cult's
mailing list 16 years earlier defies description!
Perhaps we can draw inspiration from a novel
and movie that came out some years ago...




The following letter (below) can only be described as
THE UNBEARABLE DUMBNESS OF BEING (a Scientologist)




SUMMARY
"You demanded 16 years ago to be removed from

our mailing list because you got really upset that we were
bombarding you with tons of unsolicited promotion. Hey, we
totally respected your wishes and removed you from our list!
Even today, 16 years later, you are still not on our mailing list.
This letter you are now reading and the enclosed promotional flier
for a Congress are coming to you via mail—however we don't
consider that this means you are still on our mailing list.
Dr. Hubbard states that everything in life is just a
consideration. Thus you consider that we are still mailing
you promo and we don't have the same consideration.
Let's just agree to disagree. You should really learn
to respect others' reality and then maybe you won't
pull in so many upsets. Anyways, it's great to be
back in touch with you again! Let's stay in
regular two-way com until your
upset blows and you get

back on the Bridge!"


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
It has to be said that this is as anyone who was "on staff" would know that this is typical Scientology. They feel that the bad message they send by doing this is worth it if only because "nothing ventured, nothing gained". You can just imagine what the person thought. Meanwhile, Peter the Letter Registrar thinks this is an ARC break. It really is a laugh. Most staff have no clue just how much the rest of the world laughs at them. They feel that jokes about Scientology are offensive because Scientology tells them it is and because the STAND website tells them so.

Exactly!

Scientologists compulsively continue doing obnoxious things that
make the public reject, revile & ridicule them, because
Hubbard blinklessly stared them in the eye and
stated with total certainty that. . .


"WHAT TURNS IT ON TURNS IT OFF"



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
re-posted from another thread. . .
If Scientology actually worked, if a clear was actually, objectively, much more capable than he was before clear, if a Clear lawyer won a much higher percentage of cases, if a Clear stock analyst was right much more often than before, then what you would see is a long line of very capable people, with suitcases of cash, lining up for training and auditing.

In such an environment, a good field auditor would make a good income, and lots of parents would send their children to do training.

But it doesn't work. It doesn't produce results. And that's why orgs are dying.
.
Good summary!

It might bear noting that while nobody who ever attested to the state of Clear/OT ever attained any magical superpowers, they did nonetheless acquire one (1) very special power that no Homo sapiens on this planet can demonstrate.


A Clear/OT has the power to convince
others that they are, in fact, Clear/OT.
There is nothing speculative or theoretical about that, because it has been demonstrated, validated and scientifically proven every single day since 1950—when convinced Scientologists voluntarily pay for their next miraculous level.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Scientific chart used by Homo Novis to prove
the reality of the state of OT to DBs on this planet.





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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

.....some of the more impressively persuasive/controlling gimmicks that the cult uses to gain billion-year slaves and billions of dollars.

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Exploring further Hubbard's psychopathic obsession to amass billions, one discovers a new Scientological triangle exponentially more powerful than all the other (e.g ARC, KRC, et al) triangles combined!

THE BBB TRIANGLE

The BBB Triangle explains perhaps a full 80% of all questions and mysteries anyone ever had regarding Scientology.

The BBB Triangle also reveals why Scientologists lie, defraud, fair game and do other equally inexplicable and bizarre things.

Let's explore, shall we, the BILLION-BILLION-BILLION Triangle!

As mentioned above Hubbard had an obsession to amass billion-year slaves and billions of dollars. And he was extraordinarily successful in reaching those two goals!

However the third corner of the cult's BBB triangle is both Hubbard's and Scientology's ruin. Hubbard and his assignees (e.g. Miscavige) also lusted after billions of Scientologists of either category (i.e. billion-year slaves and/or billionaire donors). This was Scientology's monumental failing!

Try as mightily as they did, they could never solve how to recruit billions or even millions of Scientologists. At this point they would be lucky if they have even 20,000 active members. This literally drove them deeply into desperation, after which the only solutions they were able to come up with were deranged, fanatical and criminal solutions (lying, crush regging, cannibalizing a small number of people into forfeiting billions of dollars in never-ending donation drives, fair game thuggery, disconnection, black ops and felonious crimes to try and solve the horrifically bad PR caused by their failed solutions to raising the BILLION corner of the triangle that tallied how many actual Scientologists exist.

To simplify, all the cringey, crazed, criminal & creepy things the cult does are all a spasmodically stupid response to not knowing how to recruit a billion new recruits. Think about it. If Scientology legitimately had a billion members worldwide and they only derived dues-donations of only $150 from each of them annually, the COS would have income of $150,000,000,000 each year!

That would make Scientology the biggest company in the world, significantly outdistancing the world's current #1 biggest company, Walmart.

Hubbard and Miscavige's crazed quest to raise that third (billion) corner of the BBB triangle failed so miserably they "solved it" by doing what all street level thugs resort to---thievery, intimidation, con-artistry, scams, treachery, lies, kidnapping, terrorism and assaults.

SUMMARY: Scientology tried for 71 years but failed to solve the recruitment corner of their BBB triangle. And of the ones they somehow managed to snare in their traps, 98% laters escaped ("blew"). Now, the cult is both rudderless and clueless what to do, so to fill the time and give credulous culties something to applaud, they have shifted their business model from producing godlike Operating Thetans to remodeling buildings with a quasi high-tech motif, so that the people inside assume that there is some kind of "tech" going on.


..
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

He got to wade through all the wonderful policies on PTS/SP, on disconnection, I wonder if he he really did the tone scale drill where you get the tone scale of a stranger and try to raise their tone or lower their tone.
.

When Ron's evil twin brother, Don Hubbard (see avatar at left and cv below) was on the flagship doing the PTS/SP Course, there was a checksheet item that required:

"CLAY DEMO HOW YOU COULD USE RON'S TONE SCALE
TECHNOLOGY TO RAISE AN SP'S EMOTIONAL TONE LEVEL
AND THEREBY HELP EXPEDITE PLANETARY CLEARING."
The Course Supervisor flunked Don's clay demo and promptly gave him a Routing Form to Ethics.

FREDO THE MAA
Don! What the hell were you thinking?!

DON HUBBARD
I was thinking I could help Scientology by using
Ron's tone scale tech to help raise Ron's 1.1 tone level.
(at that moment Ron enters the room and shakes Don's hand)
My tone level good enough to raise your tone level?

L. RON HUBBARD
Raise my tone level?

[Fredo The MAA laughs nervously]

DON HUBBARD
Your case, the 1.1 tone level.
I want to raise your tone level.

L. RON HUBBARD
You want to raise my tone level?
No, I raise your tone level,
you don't raise mine!

DON HUBBARD
Your case loses case gain.
Maybe I can do better.

L. RON HUBBARD
You think I'm roller-coastering?

DON HUBBARD
You're downtone.

L. RON HUBBARD
You goddamned DBs really make me laugh.
I do you a favor and come to this slave planet
when you're having a bad time, and
then you try to push me out!

DON HUBBARD
Wait a minute. You took Fredo the MAA in because paying
PCs donated billions and bankrolled your church, because
RTC on the coast guaranteed his Eternity.
Now we're talking tech. Let's talk tech.

L. RON HUBBARD
Yeah let's talk tech, Don. First of all you're done.
Your squirrel group the Church of Hoaxology don't even have
that kind of OT powers any more. Your senior CS's sick, right? You're
getting routed off lines by COB, RTC, WDC and the other Int bureaus.
What do you think is going on here? You think you can come
to my flagship and take over? I talked to Barzenu. I can
make a deal with him and still keep my church!

DON HUBBARD
Is that why you slapped my MAA around in public?

FREDO THE MAA
Aw, now that, that was nothin', Don. Now, now, uh, Don didn't
mean nothin' by that. Sure he flies off the handle once in a while,
but Ron and me, we're good friends. Right Ron? Huh?

L. RON HUBBARD
I got a church to run. I gotta kick asses some
sometimes to to make it run right. We had a little
argument, Freddie and I, so I had to straighten him out.

DON HUBBARD
You straightened my MAA out?

L. RON HUBBARD
He was gang-bang regging rich whales and
celebs two at a time! PCs couldn't get in session
at the org! What's wrong with you?!

DON HUBBARD
I route outta the flagship tomorrow.
Think about a hat turnover.

L. RON HUBBARD
Son of a bitch, do you know who I am?
I'm L. Ron Hubbard! I made my bones when
you were going out-2D with CMO messengers!

FREDO THE MAA
Wait a minute. Ron, Ron, I got an idea. Dave,
you're the COB, and you can talk to the
Commodore, you can explain. . .

COB
Just a minute, now. Ron is semi-retired hiding in a Bluebird,
and Don is in charge of the tech now. If you have
anything to say, say it to Don.

[L. Ron Hubbard blows room]

FREDO THE MAA
Don! You don't come to the flagship and
talk to a man like L. Ron Hubbard like that!




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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

WHAT IS THE ESSENTIAL CORE DIFFERENCE AND
DISAGREEMENT BETWEEN SCIENTOLOGISTS
AND NON-SCIENTOLOGISTS?


Scientologists believe that it is possible to attain
the advanced, supernaturally miraculous states
called Clear/OT
and Non-Scientologists do not.

THE NUMBERS: Of the world's population of 7,800,000,000 homo sapiens, only about 25,000 believe in this mystical/mythical state of "homo novis". Therefore, despite 71 years of fanatically trying, L. Ron Hubbard and his loyal devotees were only able to convince 0.000003% of humans that it was scientifically possible for them to unlock and unleash the godlike powers that lay within themselves. Once recruited, the even tinier handful of Scientologists that join staff are then assigned the Sisyphean task of not only attaining the state of Clear/OT, but then of converting the planet's other 99.999997% into blinkless believers.

THE SCIENTOLOGISTS' DILEMMA:
How to convince 7.8 billion people that something exists that doesn't exist. Hubbard's first big bright idea in 1950 was to call it science. After a short time, when the "scientific" marketing gimmick produced waves of laughter, scorn and a mass exodus, "Dr" Hubbard made another astonishing discovery—that Scientology was really a religion! That "angle" seemed to have worked quite well for other organizations that could not prove what they were saying/selling, such as Christianity. Thus, Hubbard instructed his scientists-turned-priests to begin wearing clerical collars and crosses. However, Hubbard was reluctant to entirely abandon his "successful action" of calling his con game a "modern science", thus he created the hypocritically hyperbolic hybrid "Religious Technology". Regardless of the ever-shifting adjectives, Scientology's crusading cultists actually lost ground since 1950 in the quest to "clear the planet", by the simple fact that the world's population in 1950 was only 2.5 billion—thus the ratio of the world's believers-to-infidels has dramatically worsened since that time! Making matters exponentially worse, the advent of the internet gave everyone unlimited access to read the customer reviews of former faithfully believing Clears/OTs who escaped. How is it even possible to create believers in the midst of Scientology's worst enemy--the unchecked spread of a disagreement virus?

WHAT CAN HUBBARDITES DO ABOUT THIS VIRAL DISAGREEMENT PANDEMIC? To better understand the dynamics of the problem, a metaphor might be very helpful. Let's assume that instead of trying to sell miraculous powers that could make one infinitely happy, healthy & rich—one was attempting to sell centuries-old maps where buried treasure could be found. Or, more dramatically, let's assume that the world's richest man passes away and leaves 1 trillion dollars in a massive underground vault which his will instructs should be given to anyone who can gain entry through an impossibly complex set of advanced security devices. This is essentially what Scientologists are trying to sell---advanced safecracking technology. How in the world could one possibly sell safecracking tech when there are no previous customers who used that tech and cracked that safe? The answer to that is two-fold:

1. Distracting prospective customers from the question of whether the safecracking tech works. Instead, misdirect their attention to anything else, such as heavily pressuring them for donations in order to buy a big old building and remodeling it into the gleaming high-tech Museum of Ideal Safecracking! This clever gimmick entirely by-passes the question of whether anyone has ever used the tech to crack a safe--and goes directly into celebrating the glorious history the priceless safecracking tech!​
2. Defrauding prospective customers by manufacturing photos and cartoony graphics of people who cracked the safe and are now enjoying and celebrating the glorious riches once secured in that formerly unbreakable safe. Creativity in such graphics knows no bounds and may contain anything from a messianic moviestar jumping up and down on a couch to a cartoon of a rocketship hurtling thru intergalactic space towards a golden glowing OT icon in the distance. It may also take the form of a power-grinning believer who offers up a torturously tiptoeing testimonial that ambiguously infers they have acquired some magical power they intend to use in the future.​

SUMMARY: There are no Clears/OTs. There is no safecracking tech. There is no safe. There is no lack of imagination and/or wishful thinking.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

And that's what Hubbard did, as HH says sell words, totally agree. That's why Hubbard wrote so much and lectured so much, he was self expressing his rhetoric, and made money. But, in the end, no clears or OT's.
.

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Hubbard even openly admitted to being extremely concerned about how much the words sold for apiece!

“Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man wants
to make a million dollars, the the best way
would be to start his own religion.”
- L. Ron Hubbard

It's often been estimated that the total number of words contained within Hubbard's books, tapes, bulletins, policies and other "sacred scripture" was 10,000,000. The average price of doing the "Bridge" is $600,000. So let's do the math.

That means that Hubbard is making substantially more than one penny a word. 10M words for $600K is 6 pennies a word! But it's far better than that, because Hubbard (and his assignees) earn 6 cents a word* from every Scientologist!

Ergo, for all intents and purposes, there is now proof that there is at least one real OT in existence! Because Hubbard 's tone 40 postulates are evidently working!

.

* 6 cents a word: The metric of 6 pennies a word (vs. 1 penny a word) is virtually identical to Hubbard's often cited money metric of 5.4X. In addition to its use in setting ever-increasing production goals for staff, I believe that multiple was also cited in an LRH advice memo on how to price (i.e. mark up) the sale of Scientology "merch" (audiotapes, books, bracelets, meters, lapel pins, et al). To wit, if a 14K gold OT bracelet cost $757 to manufacture, the OT wishing to wear it would first need to pay Hubbard 5.4 times that sum—an amount equal to $4087.80. Not bad, a walking billboard where the customer not only pays for the product (OT levels), but also pays the manufacturer for the privilege of ADVERTISING their products—and lavishly overpays what the promo actually costs by more than 500%!

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

.To wit, if a 14K gold OT bracelet cost $757 to manufacture, the OT wishing to wear it would first need to pay Hubbard 5.4 times that sum—an amount equal to $4087.80. Not bad, a walking billboard where the customer not only pays for the product (OT levels), but also pays the manufacturer for the privilege of ADVERTISING their products—and lavishly overpays what the promo actually costs by more than 500%!

.
HOW SCIENTOLOGISTS THINK WHEN
APPLYING RON'S SCRIPTURE ON

"EXCHANGE IN ABUNDANCE"


OT CAR SALESMAN
So, you are very lucky indeed. I just checked and
we can get that aqua colored Tesla for you
from another dealership in Alabama. And
I can do that for you for the special price
we negotiated--total price all in with sale
tax and everything—$137,300!

SCIENTOLOGIST
Uhh, okay, that sounds great. How long
will it take to get my new Tesla?

OT CAR SALESMAN
I took the liberty of already telling them to get it
shipped to us so we have it by Saturday! All you
need to do now is just sign these financing contracts.

SCIENTOLOGIST
(studies contracts first)
Wait! There's a huge typo here, it says
here the price is $1,137,300 instead of $137,300.
Someone mistakenly typed in an extra "1"! LOL

OT CAR SALESMAN
Actually, no, that's not a typo or mistake.

SCIENTOLOGIST
What are you talking about!
You've got an extra $1M in there!

OT CAR SALESMAN
Yeah, I know, we're thinking of running a 30 second
advertisement for Theta Motors on Sunday's SuperBowl.

.

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Karen#1

Well-known member
Hilarious post on the Bunker, responding to OTVIIIisGrt. Belongs on this thread ! :)

Scribe OTVIIIisGrrr8!2 hours ago


Dear Ken,
I don't usually C/S over the internet, but in your case, I'll make an exception due to your stellar Scientology accomplishments. Even COB was impressed!
To get you back to PT, do the following process for a minimum of twenty-five hours:
1. Locate a cluster or suppressive BT
2. Find out where they're not
3. Locate Xenu
4. Spot a spot on his body
5. Spot a spot on your body
6. Repeat steps 1-5
No need to feed you the cog as that would be evaluation.
Good luck!
ML,
Acting Snr C/S Int HFA


:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

BT du jour
(Bombast Tech)

Scientology's speciality is converting the mundane into the miraculous.

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED:
A person in a bus/train station notices how crowded it is.

WHAT SCIENTOLOGY SAYS HAPPENED: A Clear advances up their spiritual Bridge to the next higher level—OT 1! And after running highly confidential OT 1 processes, they ultimately and successfully realize the miraculous "Ability Attained" as follows:

"Extroverts a being and brings about an awareness of himself
as a thetan in relation to others and the physical universe."

- L. Ron Hubbard

EXPLANATION: On OT 1, the Pre-OT is instructed to venture into bus/train stations in order to notice how crowded it is. Hubbard discovered this amazing tech! And as if that was not mindblowing enough, he then added the miraculous step to "count how many bodies" are noticed and write it down on a piece of MEST paper.

GLOSSARY: bombast -noun: high-sounding language with little meaning, used to impress people.


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Xenu Xenu Xenu

Well-known member
.

BT du jour
(Bombast Tech)

Scientology's speciality is converting the mundane into the miraculous.

WHAT REALLY HAPPENS:
A person in a bus/train station notices that it's crowded.

WHAT SCIENTOLOGY SAYS HAPPENED: A Clear advances up their spiritual Bridge to the next higher level—OT 1! And after running highly confidential OT 1 processes, they ultimately and successfully realize the miraculous "Ability Attained" as follows:

"Extroverts a being and brings about an awareness of himself
as a thetan in relation to others and the physical universe."

EXPLANATION: On OT 1, the Pre-OT is instructed to venture into bus/train stations in order to notice how crowded it is. Hubbard discovered this amazing tech! And as if that was not mindblowing enough, he then added the miraculous step to "count how many bodies" are noticed and write it down on a piece of MEST paper.

GLOSSARY: bombast -noun: high-sounding language with little meaning, used to impress people.


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And remember, you can't just do this on your own. First you have to pay lots of money to a Scientology organization to do this. You have to go to this organization and go through all the routing steps and do this under their supervision. This is very precise and potentially dangerous technology (don't you just love the sound of that word, "technology"). You might end up getting cancer if you were to use Scientology all on your own, KSW says so.
 
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