TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

Type4_PTS

Well-known member
. Can anyone imagine what would happen if a Scientologist in session brightened up and excitedly told the auditor their huge cognition--that Scientology doesn't work because there was nothing wrong with them in the first place, other than being an imperfect human being?
A Scientologist might respond in this way:
"Thank you for telling me that! To help you with this issue is the whole purpose of Scientology! Do you want to remain as a degraded imperfect human being? Or would you rather get onto the road of returning to your native state where you are TOTAL CAUSE?! :D
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Talking about imagination, imagine if John Lennon had been in Scientology and then blew. . .


BEFORE AFTER SCIENTOLOGY

Imagine there's no heaven OT
It's easy if you try blow
No hell below BTs inside us
Above us, only sky Total Freedom, just say no!

Imagine all the people wasted money
Livin' for Spendin' it today!
Ah

Imagine there's no countries Grade Chart
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die fair game or pay for
And no religion, too!

Imagine all the people OT celebrities
Livin' life in peace Admittin' they got defrauded, just like u!

You may say I'm a dreamer an SP
But I'm not the only one one-one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world Hubbard's toxic hoax
will be as one undone.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
A Scientologist might respond in this way:
"Thank you for telling me that! To help you with this issue is the whole purpose of Scientology! Do you want to remain as a degraded imperfect human being? Or would you rather get onto the road of returning to your native state where you are TOTAL CAUSE?! :D

Yes, knowing-how-to-know Scientologists always know the answer!


OT VIII
To be honest, I never attained any OT abilities, I can't exteriorize.
I'm not total cause over life. I don't have freedom from overwhelm.
In fact I never even went Clear, I'm pretty much the same degraded
being that can't do anything more than any DB can do. Hey, I've
been in Scientology for 49 years—done all the auditing, rundowns,
training levels and OT debugs that exist--and none of it did anything.
Scientology didn't handle my case. Scientology did not handle my
ruin. Scientology did not do anything except make empty promises
and take all my money for the past half century. In fact now that
I think about it, Scientology actually ruined my life far more than
any ruin I came into Scientology to handle. So what are you
going to say to me now to trick me into continuing my Bridge?

REGISTRAR
I'm not going to lie to you. You're got hell of a lot of
ruins there that the tech couldn't handle.
But, Scientology can handle that.

OT VIII
Really? Wow that sounds amazing!

.
SUMMARY: Have I mentioned recently that Scientologists are Ideal Marks?

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Chuck J.

Gregory the American
"Then the next day all the flown-in Potemkinologists
fly back home and the 5 actual staff members spend
all day and night inside the 139,000 sq. foot monstrosity
writing hand-written letters to people who once bought a copy
of Dianetics in 1963, mistakenly thinking it was the weight-loss
book Dietetics, after which they tried to bring it back for a refund
& staff threatened to call the police and kill their pets if they didn't leave."

:D:roflmao::hysterical::clapping:
 

Type4_PTS

Well-known member
<snip>

OT VIII
<snip>
So what are you
going to say to me now to trick me into continuing my Bridge?


REGISTRAR
I'm not going to lie to you. You're got hell of a lot of
ruins there that didn't get handled. But
Scientology can handle that.

<snip>




At this point, the register would rout him to Qual so that the OT can be given the correct Correction List. LOL

There are so many solutions for his predicament:
1. Get him onto a PTS/SP Handling so he can find out who's been suppressing him all those years causing him not to get gains.
2. Start him back at the beginning of the bridge with some Objectives.
3. If he's out of money, Declare him SP and get him out the door.
4. Reg him for the next level or the L's if he hasn't done them yet. Clearly, that is what is needed.
5. Give him a Non-Enturbulation Order. Give him a choice - He can pay for 5 intensives of clearly needed Sec Checks or else can get
SP Declared.

I'm sure there are many other solutions.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
<snip>

OT VIII
<snip>
So what are you
going to say to me now to trick me into continuing my Bridge?


REGISTRAR
I'm not going to lie to you. You're got hell of a lot of
ruins there that didn't get handled. But
Scientology can handle that.

<snip>




At this point, the register would rout him to Qual so that the OT can be given the correct Correction List. LOL

There are so many solutions for his predicament:
1. Get him onto a PTS/SP Handling so he can find out who's been suppressing him all those years causing him not to get gains.
2. Start him back at the beginning of the bridge with some Objectives.
3. If he's out of money, Declare him SP and get him out the door.
4. Reg him for the next level or the L's if he hasn't done them yet. Clearly, that is what is needed.
5. Give him a Non-Enturbulation Order. Give him a choice - He can pay for 5 intensives of clearly needed Sec Checks or else can get
SP Declared.

I'm sure there are many other solutions.
.
LOL

And if none of that works, it's not really a problem. Because, there's a brand new tech breakthrough!

It's the CORRECTION LIST CORRECTION LIST.

It is an assessment done on an e-meter that lists out all the possible reasons that the previous correction lists did not handle it. Now for the first time you can correct your previous correction lists.

Once your past correction lists have been repaired, then you will be able to access and use all your supernatural OT powers. It's kind of like the REPAIR OF PAST ETHICS CONDITIONS, where Scientologists spend decades bogged down with conditions formulas that did not work. But now all that can be fixed by doing a new conditions formula on the previously failed conditions formula.

SUMMARY: Don't ask or worry how any of this works. It's quite complex and involves traveling backwards in time, trillions of years earlier on the time track. Once there, the being can research & understand how all this fits together or even makes sense. By the way, you are not "the being". And nobody else is "the being" either. The being is L. Ron Hubbard, he is the only one authorized to do wholetrack research and/or make huge discoveries!


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member


What Scientology wants Scientologists
to think about Hubbards High-tech Hoax. . .


SCIENTOLOGY CAN CURE ALL THAT
AFFLICTS & AILS MANKIND BECAUSE IT
IS THE MODERN SCIENCE OF EVERYTHING

"Scientology has the most advanced technology on this planet!"


2021



IS THERE AN EARLIER SIMILAR
MEDICAL QUACK DEVICE?








IS THERE AN EARLIER SIMILAR
MEDICAL QUACK DEVICE?



1953




IS THERE AN EARLIER SIMILAR
MEDICAL QUACK DEVICE?







1862

Victorian 19th Century
Patent Magneto Improved Electric Machine

A 19th century Magneto Improved Electric Machine which dates
to circa 1862. This machine was originally believed to cure
nervous disease using a dynamo with steel and magnet and
brass terminals to apply to the patient. Mild electrical
current was a popular method in the 19th

century to cure medical issues.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
PART II: High tech electronic quack devices to save the planet



Wait! Look at that incredible FREE GIFT OFFER
down in the lower righthand corner! Amazing value!!!
Those solo auditing electrodes are a total "loss leader"
because surely the church is losing money
here by giving away such high tech
soup cans for no exchange!

It's incredibly rare for Scientology to give anyone
anything for free. The only two things Scientology
gave away for free in the past 71 years was a
free OCA and a free STRESS TEST. But it turns
out that free sales pitches to spend $600,000
is not exactly "free", is it? But this time, they
really, really, really are giving you a priceless
GIFT for free! But you have to act now while
supplies last! Today only the Mark Ultra VIII
E-Meter is being offered at the low, low, low
discounted sale price of only $5000!!!*
SECURE YOUR ETERNITY
ORDER NOW!



* The special discounted $5000 price is only available to Scientologists in good standing who have purchased a lifetime or above IAS membership status. Customers must purchase two (2) e-meters per Dr. Hubbard's technical bulletin which states that auditors must always have a backup e-meter in extremely rare case they find themselves in session and the first e-meter has any technical malfunction. In such instances, rather than allow a restimulated PC in the middle of running a wholetrack engram to simply die, the second meter can be used to get them through the incident. Please note that your $10,000 check must be payable to the Church Of Scientology and no meters will be shipped before your check clears. This amazing discount price is only possible because in addition to our Church being a NON PROFIT ORGANIZATION. And despite the fact that we lose money on each sale, we make up for it in volume!

FREE BONUS INFO: Scientology's unparalleled generosity in allowing church members to acquire their e-meter for only $10,000 (and thus attain eternal godlike magically miraculous superpowers) when amortized over "eternity" is less than 1 penny per century! Per insider information, the church's COGS (cost of goods sold) is $500 per meter which renders a net profit to the non-profit of only $9000 per customer—which is less than the church's cost to purchase just one custom-made business suit for its selflessly altruistic Chairman.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

thanks to poster ISNOI for posting the following
ideal org's ideal letter to an ex-scientologist
on another discussion thread

LINK HERE
- - -

The following letter sent to an ex-Scientologist
who demanded to be removed from the cult's
mailing list 16 years earlier defies description!
Perhaps we can draw inspiration from a novel
and movie that came out some years ago...




The following letter (below) can only be described as
THE UNBEARABLE DUMBNESS OF BEING (a Scientologist)




SUMMARY
"You demanded 16 years ago to be removed from

our mailing list because you got really upset that we were
bombarding you with tons of unsolicited promotion. Hey, we
totally respected your wishes and removed you from our list!
Even today, 16 years later, you are still not on our mailing list.
This letter you are now reading and the enclosed promotional flier
for a Congress are coming to you via mail—however we don't
consider that this means you are still on our mailing list.
Dr. Hubbard states that everything in life is just a
consideration. Thus you consider that we are still mailing
you promo and we don't have the same consideration.
Let's just agree to disagree. You should really learn
to respect others' reality and then maybe you won't
pull in so many upsets. Anyways, it's great to be
back in touch with you again! Let's stay in
regular two-way com until your
upset blows and you get

back on the Bridge!"


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
It has to be said that this is as anyone who was "on staff" would know that this is typical Scientology. They feel that the bad message they send by doing this is worth it if only because "nothing ventured, nothing gained". You can just imagine what the person thought. Meanwhile, Peter the Letter Registrar thinks this is an ARC break. It really is a laugh. Most staff have no clue just how much the rest of the world laughs at them. They feel that jokes about Scientology are offensive because Scientology tells them it is and because the STAND website tells them so.

Exactly!

Scientologists compulsively continue doing obnoxious things that
make the public reject, revile & ridicule them, because
Hubbard blinklessly stared them in the eye and
stated with total certainty that. . .


"WHAT TURNS IT ON TURNS IT OFF"



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
re-posted from another thread. . .
If Scientology actually worked, if a clear was actually, objectively, much more capable than he was before clear, if a Clear lawyer won a much higher percentage of cases, if a Clear stock analyst was right much more often than before, then what you would see is a long line of very capable people, with suitcases of cash, lining up for training and auditing.

In such an environment, a good field auditor would make a good income, and lots of parents would send their children to do training.

But it doesn't work. It doesn't produce results. And that's why orgs are dying.
.
Good summary!

It might bear noting that while nobody who ever attested to the state of Clear/OT ever attained any magical superpowers, they did nonetheless acquire one (1) very special power that no Homo sapiens on this planet can demonstrate.


A Clear/OT has the power to convince
others that they are, in fact, Clear/OT.
There is nothing speculative or theoretical about that, because it has been demonstrated, validated and scientifically proven every single day since 1950—when convinced Scientologists voluntarily pay for their next miraculous level.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Scientific chart used by Homo Novis to prove
the reality of the state of OT to DBs on this planet.





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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

.....some of the more impressively persuasive/controlling gimmicks that the cult uses to gain billion-year slaves and billions of dollars.

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Exploring further Hubbard's psychopathic obsession to amass billions, one discovers a new Scientological triangle exponentially more powerful than all the other (e.g ARC, KRC, et al) triangles combined!

THE BBB TRIANGLE

The BBB Triangle explains perhaps a full 80% of all questions and mysteries anyone ever had regarding Scientology.

The BBB Triangle also reveals why Scientologists lie, defraud, fair game and do other equally inexplicable and bizarre things.

Let's explore, shall we, the BILLION-BILLION-BILLION Triangle!

As mentioned above Hubbard had an obsession to amass billion-year slaves and billions of dollars. And he was extraordinarily successful in reaching those two goals!

However the third corner of the cult's BBB triangle is both Hubbard's and Scientology's ruin. Hubbard and his assignees (e.g. Miscavige) also lusted after billions of Scientologists of either category (i.e. billion-year slaves and/or billionaire donors). This was Scientology's monumental failing!

Try as mightily as they did, they could never solve how to recruit billions or even millions of Scientologists. At this point they would be lucky if they have even 20,000 active members. This literally drove them deeply into desperation, after which the only solutions they were able to come up with were deranged, fanatical and criminal solutions (lying, crush regging, cannibalizing a small number of people into forfeiting billions of dollars in never-ending donation drives, fair game thuggery, disconnection, black ops and felonious crimes to try and solve the horrifically bad PR caused by their failed solutions to raising the BILLION corner of the triangle that tallied how many actual Scientologists exist.

To simplify, all the cringey, crazed, criminal & creepy things the cult does are all a spasmodically stupid response to not knowing how to recruit a billion new recruits. Think about it. If Scientology legitimately had a billion members worldwide and they only derived dues-donations of only $150 from each of them annually, the COS would have income of $150,000,000,000 each year!

That would make Scientology the biggest company in the world, significantly outdistancing the world's current #1 biggest company, Walmart.

Hubbard and Miscavige's crazed quest to raise that third (billion) corner of the BBB triangle failed so miserably they "solved it" by doing what all street level thugs resort to---thievery, intimidation, con-artistry, scams, treachery, lies, kidnapping, terrorism and assaults.

SUMMARY: Scientology tried for 71 years but failed to solve the recruitment corner of their BBB triangle. And of the ones they somehow managed to snare in their traps, 98% laters escaped ("blew"). Now, the cult is both rudderless and clueless what to do, so to fill the time and give credulous culties something to applaud, they have shifted their business model from producing godlike Operating Thetans to remodeling buildings with a quasi high-tech motif, so that the people inside assume that there is some kind of "tech" going on.


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