TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

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One's imagination -- ability to mock up or imagine things -- is actually unlimited, AFAIK.

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Ergo. . .

CLEAR COG:
"I am mocking up my own reactive mind"
(POOF! I no longer have a reactive mind!!)

OT VII COG:
"I am mocking up my own BTs" (POOF! I no longer have any BTs!!)

BLOW COG:
"I am mocking up my own wins"
(POOF! I no longer need to pretend to be "F/N-VGIS" in order to avoid financially destructive tech estimates & predatory reg cycles)


There is, however, a downside of having the Blow Cog and leaving Scientology. People no longer rapidly muster around you to clap/cheer and flow power to you for simply holding up a piece of paper with your name written on it— below a non-existent magical state of being.


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[The_Fixer]

~ Hubbard's Forgotten Secret History ~
Excerpt from: Hubbard Whole Track Illustrated

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Class 8 lectures
"I'm going to let you in on something. I didn't even get R6ed. I'm not from this planet."

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

<Snipped>​

Those little pills he slipped certainly didn't help to keep him on ANY planet, LOL.

 

[The_Fixer]

WE NOW RE-JOIN OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED
TV PROGRAM ALREADY IN PROGRESS. . .


"SCIENTOLOGY FAMILIES ON VACATION!"

LITTLE TIMMY
This is taking tooo long! We've been driving for
7 hours!! When are we going to
get to Disneyland?

MOM
Oh, honey...your dad and I have, um, planned a
wonderful surprise for you and sis. We're not going to be
going to Disneyland. But in another 19 hours of driving
we will be at the new L. Ron Hubbard exhibit!

DAD
That's right little Timmy! You're not going to believe
how amazing it's going to be. We will be there on opening
day and we will be amongst the very first people on this planet
to see Ron's original 4-pocket safari suit that he really wore!!!

LITTLE TIMMY
I don't want to go there!! What's a 'safari suit' anyways?

DAD
(speaking as he makes u-turn)
I'd like to tell you but that would be verbal data. When we
stop for gas we can get our dictionary out of the trunk and---
Oh no, gosh darn it! We forgot the clay, we are going to
to have to drive back 7 hours to get the clay!
(we hear muffled crying sounds from back seat)
. . .



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Scientologists taking a holiday?

Sounds like one of those religious rapture fantasies...

 

[ILove2Lurk]

Historic Moments in Scientology
In 1963, the FDA raided the Founding Church of Scientology
in Washington, D.C., seizing about 100 E-meters. The FDA
along with U.S. Marshal conducted the raid, claiming the devices
were illegal medical devices and leaving Hubbard bewildered.
How on earth would he audit out the loss without his E-meter?

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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In 1963, the FDA raided the Founding Church of Scientology in Washington, D.C., seizing ​

about 100 E-meters. The FDA along with U.S. Marshal conducted the raid, claiming the​

devices were illegal medical devices and leaving Hubbard bewildered. How on earth​

would he audit out the loss without his E-meter?.​

Posted by ILove2Lurk​

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Love it! That is an extraordinarily rare photo from the FBI's raid on the DC org!

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[Breaking News]: ​

I sent it to a buddy of mine who is in the FBI for authentication. He came up with some troubling concerns. His conclusion is that the photo is a fugazi (fake). It was a black op that Hubbard ran to both gather sympathy for his new Scientology religion (by playing the victim of tyrannical government "SPs" who were trying to destroy the "Freedom of Religion") and to make some big fast bucks.​

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Ergo, none of that went down and it was actually HUBBARD HIMSELF who staged that fake "FBI RAID" that never happened.​

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What was really going on in Washington DC at that time is that Hubbard was trying to make a fast & furious fortune by muscling in on the​

Gambino Crime Family's death-grip monopoly on the pizza and Italian food delivery business in the greater Washington DC area. Ron came up with a brilliantly effective campaign where he brought 100 thugs down from the Bronx branch of the Guardian's Office; and had them go them door-to-door with food boxes from his newly opened pizzeria--who then threatened, bullied & terrorized homeowners, businesses and families to only buy exclusively from his joint!​

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RON'S ORIGINAL(PIZZA)"PARLOR TRICK"

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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QUOTE OF THE DAY
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"Keep your friends close but your enemies closer"
—Don Corleone / Godfather

"Keep your friends close but your donors closer"
—Ronnie Rigatoni / GodFounder


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[HelluvaHoax!]

After SOURCE went off-planet, the sacred responsibility
to Clear the Planet & Salvage This Sector
was turned over to SUB-SOURCE...
Minister Miscavige

"So look—Ron was Buddha. I was Jesus.
I'm tellin' you some super spiritual shit...
So when we tell you that you gotta kick a
percentage of everything you got upstairs,
you gotta DO it! So let's get some fuckin'
donations goin' here and clear the fuckin'
planet & salvage this fuckin' sector, okay?"
—Minister Miscavige / Sub-Source


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[ILove2Lurk]

Pat Broeker's Message to Miscavige 2025
Yes, Dave, you can say all you want, but I'm the one who
still has the OT9-15 notes in my possession. I know you
raided my ranch in 1988, but for one minute did you
think I'd be stupid enough to keep these sacred notes
where you could steal them? Yes, Dave, I still have them
and, in fact, I've been doing these OT levels for the past
35 years. I'm almost done with OT 15 and when I'm finished
I'll come after you to take my rightful place as Loyal Officer #1
and the head of Scientology. Your days are numbered, Dave,
as you've suspected and feared for nearly 40 years.
..
We both know you've made overtures over the years proposing
a cash settlement with me to get these valuable scriptures.
All I can say is . . . "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

(click on images to view larger)

. . . . . . . ​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Pat Broeker's Message to Miscavige 2025
Yes, Dave, you can say all you want, but I'm the one who
still has the OT9-15 notes in my possession. I know you
raided my ranch in 1988, but for one minute did you
think I'd be stupid enough to keep these sacred notes
where you could steal them? Yes, Dave, I still have them
and, in fact, I've been doing these OT levels for the past
35 years. I'm almost done with OT 15 and when I'm finished
I'll come after you to take my rightful place as Loyal Officer #1
and the head of Scientology. Your days are numbered, Dave,
as you've suspected and feared for nearly 40 years.
..
We both know you've made overtures over the years proposing
a cash settlement with me to get these valuable scriptures.
All I can say is . . . "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

(click on images to view larger)

View attachment 28069 . . . . . . . View attachment 28070​

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So great. . . what a cool concept and so funnnnnnnnnny too!!

FAVORITE PART
There were many but #1 is this——
" . . . I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."
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[ commentary: the synchronicity of finding the perfect line of dialogue (man speaking to AI) is brilliant all by itself. But, but then the Gods of Creativity (or singular "God", or whatever or some junk...) threw in that ingeniously synchronous part where the character in both scenarios just happened to be named "Dave"! That's what i live for! (proof of "magic" somewhere in the universe) LOL ]

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[ILove2Lurk]

threw in that ingeniously synchronous part where the character in both scenarios just happened to be named "Dave"!

Many people won't get it, LOL.

Spoiler

Most famous quote from 2001 Space Odyssey movie.

 

[Type4_PTS]

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Ergo, none of that went down and it was actually HUBBARD HIMSELF who staged that fake "FBI RAID" that never happened.​

​

What was really going on in Washington DC at that time is that Hubbard was trying to make a fast & furious fortune by muscling in on the Gambino Crime Family's death-grip monopoly on the pizza and Italian food delivery business in the greater Washington DC area. Ron came up with a brilliantly effective campaign where he brought 100 thugs down from the Bronx branch of the Guardian's Office; and had them go them door-to-door with food boxes from his newly opened pizzeria--who then threatened, bullied & terrorized homeowners, businesses and families to only buy exclusively from his joint!​

​

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RON'S ORIGINAL(PIZZA)"PARLOR TRICK"

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In the early 1980s, I worked at Boston Org, and our Bookstore Officer was Richie Gambino.

I don't know if he was related to the Gambino Crime family, but when selling me some books on multiple occasions, he gave me an offer I couldn't refuse.

Last I knew, he joined the staff at FCDC. The image below was posted on the original ESMB back in 2010. (I'm having difficulty posting the image, but it is at this link below) EDIT: I got the image to post.

He was a nice guy....hopefully he's away from Scientology now.

Miscellaneous emails from Washington DC org

From: Founding Church of Scientology Subject: DUSTIN ASTRAN JOINS STAFF AT FCDC! To: "Founding Church of Scientology" Date: Thursday, December 24, 2009

forum.exscn.net

 

[ILove2Lurk]

Norbert Wiener established the field of Cybernetics
in the 1940's and laid the groundwork for today's AI
A young and shell shocked Norbert Wiener realizing that he taught L Ron Hubbard
all he knew about Cybernetics and Ron used that knowledge to create Dianetics. Ron is
drinking his Coca Cola and having a laugh about how much money he's making off sales
of his book and courses. Norbert is getting even more and more glum as the evening
wears on. Ron is cackling harder and harder. Smoking non-stop.

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[Type4_PTS]

Norbert Wiener established the field of Cybernetics
in the 1940's and laid the groundwork for today's AI
A very young and shell shocked Norbert Wiener realizing that he taught L Ron Hubbard
all he knew about Cybernetics and Ron used that knowledge to create Dianetics. Ron is
drinking his Coca Cola and having a laugh about how much money he's making off sales
of his book and courses. Norbert is getting even more and more glum as the evening
wears on. Ron is cackling harder and harder. Smoking non-stop.

View attachment 28090​

I appreciate your recent postings documenting some historical incidents few people knew about. And I was confident that all copies of some of these photos were destroyed long ago. I'm happy to be wrong about that!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
PART 1 OF 2

THE MOST ASTONISHING SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH
WITHIN SCIENTOLOGY IS RON'S DISCOVERY OF BTs!

BOWLING TROPHIES



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PART 2 CONTINUED(BELOW)
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[HelluvaHoax!]

PART 2/2 (BOWLING TROPHIES)

. . .

SCIENTOLOGY'S FIRST ONE-BILLION-DOLLAR DONORS!

THE CLAMPETT FAMILY — WINNERS OF $1.4 BILLION IN THE 2025 NATIONAL POWERBALL LOTTERY, WHO BOUGHT THE WINNING
TICKET JUST 24 HOURS AFTER THEIR FIRST CONTACT WITH SCIENTOLOGY WHEN THEY WERE INTRODUCED TO RONS TECH!"

OT SUCCESS STORY
Judy & Jed Jr. Clampett
Had it not been for Scientology we never would have become multi-billionaires!
With the winter coming, we had driven several hours to the nearest city to shop
for some firewood to keep us from freezing to death. Unfortunately our pickup
truck broke down and we had to push it over to the side of the road. We didn't
have any charge cards to get it towed or fixed, so we just sadly walked to the
next town to kill some time until we could figure something out. Finally we
were so exhausted, we sat down on the curb. That's when a minister sitting at
a red-covered lunch table screamed at us to: "Get the hell away from our
table or I'll all the cops on your DB asses!!!" So we walked several blocks
away to buy some water. We went into an open variety story and took our
bottles to the counter to pay---that's when we saw the SUPER-LOTTO
sign and decided to buy just one (1) ticket and pray that we could
win so that we could pay for our truck to be fixed. Shockingly the
next day we learned that we had the winning number! The rest is
history. By the way, we went back to that Scientology center in our
repaired truck to thank them for screaming at us to get away. They
were very friendly this time and invited us in for a free tour. Before we
left they were kind enough to share the secret of "TOTAL FREEDOM" and
promised to "Safeguard our Eternity" if we would only donate $1Billion
to help them buy a new building and to save planet earth. This has been
the luckiest moment of our life! We are, however, a little worried this
afternoon because someone told us we owed $700M in state and federal
taxes. So at this point we are not only totally dead broke again, but
we are in debt $300M! But with our truck now fixed we plan to drive
back to those super helpful Scientologists and ask if they would be
kind and generous enough to help us one more time
with some more of Ron's "life-saving technology"!
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[ILove2Lurk]

Image Prompt
Rather glum about the lack of a big crowd and former fun times on ESMB,
ILove2Lurk (Lisbeth Salander) leaves the venue and is going back home.
Please create an image that's evocative and captures her somber, bleak
mood and communicates her departure following this noticeable decline
after ESMB pulled up stakes and moved into a rougher downtown area
and lost a bunch of its patrons and known barflys. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Wow, did you just randomly encounter Ms. Salander on the street and snap a quick shot? I didn't even know that the Redux bar was still in business, when did you take that photo? Jeez that neighborhood looks really rundown and nasty now.

Man, after covid and the race riots and all the crazed arson and urban chaos, a lot of places and people have really crashed and hit 'hard times'. . .

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[Type4_PTS]

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Does Don do a meter check after each session to ensure his clients are F/N'ing?

(asking for a friend)

 

[Type4_PTS]

Image Prompt
Rather glum about the lack of a big crowd and former fun times on ESMB,
ILove2Lurk (Lisbeth Salander) leaves the venue and is going back home.
Please create an image that's evocative and captures her somber, bleak
mood and communicates her departure following this noticeable decline
after ESMB pulled up stakes and moved into a rougher downtown area
and lost a bunch of its patrons and known barflys. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

View attachment 28093​

We could send ESMB REDUX Missionaires out to recover our blown members. It would be easy to recover some of them. Just create a message letting them know there is a mandatory meeting of all former members of ESMB REDUX and the original ESMB, and include a big mystery sandwich or two within it.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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a brutally funny cartoon from the Politics thread. . .

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posted by Enthetan

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