TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

promotional fundraising letter posted by Isaac

​

I could have saved Chad Lane enormous DevT by reducing his letter's verbiage by 87% and getting right down to the essential core concept:

Dear __________​

​

If the people of earth don't "make it", YOU won't make it. Look, we need donations ​

from dilettante jerkoffs like you. ​

​

If you want your eternity we have it. Send us money and keep sending it. We'll let ​

you know when you can stop donating. And sell that bullshit exotic MEST sports car​

that you bought last month and give us the cash by Thursday. ​

​

That's right, we've been watching you. Pay or die!​

​

ML, ​

​

Chad Lane​

Executive Director​

​

.​

 

[Isaac]

2025

The MOLE says....This belongs on the STUPID THREAD!
Why?
Scientology in St Louis has been going Ideal since 2007
ED Chad Lane goes public in the press and announces in 2010... "We are opening in Spring 2011 after we raised $900,000 and only need a few hundred more"
Raising $17 million dollars for almost 20 years and yet, Co$ continues to fundraise for the New Ideal Org...cuz it is going to salvage this sector of the universe. Chicago went Ideal and is empty and is shrinking.... Kansas City went Ideal and is empty and shrinking .... Minneapolis / St Paul MN went Ideal and is REALLY empty..... 90,000 sqaure feet of EMPTY
Matt Hanses, Foundation ED claims to have done a Scientology OT DEBUG on the newly purchased property .... and discovered "we did not need the new property after all so they are fundraising to expand the current property at 6901 Delmar ... even though the St Louis Org has shrunk and is swirling the drain
Parishoners paid $1,170,000 in real estate taxes since 2007 ($65,000/ year for an empty building.
Co$ lists the property with various real estate companies but does not provide a List Price
The real estate market is booming.... but the building sits on the market empty for several years

REALLY STUPID!!

 

[Isaac]

https://www.bizjournals.com/stlouis/news/2024/06/10/church-scientology-selling-lafayette-square-site.html

2024



STUPID ALERT..."Ideal finish line" lasting 2 decades




"THE LION ROARED"



"WIZZARDS OF CAUSE"

 

[Type4_PTS]

A question just popped into my head, not related to the subject of your post, but in response to one of the sentences of yours I quoted.

Has CoS ever given someone a Goldenrod for being a "past life SP"?

If someone was found out to have been declared SP in a past life do they need to do the A to E steps?

No one answered my question about past life SPs.

I woke up feeling some answer hunger (as Hubbard describes in Dianetics 55).

I didn't have anyone I could talk to about it at 6:00 a.m., so I discussed it with ChatGPT.

ChatGPT told me:
While Scientology emphasizes auditing and past-life recall, there's no widely known or documented case where the church officially declared a member to be a "past life SP" (i.e., someone who was an SP in a previous lifetime). That said, within the framework of auditing and Ethics, a person could hypothetically uncover or be told they exhibited SP-like behavior in a past life. However, the church’s focus is typically on present-time behavior and intentions, not past-life identities of enemies.

I reminded ChatGPT that the "church" does focus intently on enemies such as psychiatrists going back a LONG time ago, and ChatGPT clarified it's response:

While individual SP declarations tend to focus on present-time behavior, the Church of Scientology as an organization places immense emphasis on long-standing, even ancient, enemies.
<snip>
In that sense, you're correct: Scientology’s war against psychiatry isn’t limited to contemporary criticism. It’s framed as a cosmic conflict, carried across lifetimes. So while individual members might not be commonly declared “past life SPs,” the institutional enemies of Scientology, like psychiatry, are absolutely portrayed as suppressive entities with ancient roots. Hubbard's writings suggest that this spiritual warfare against such forces is central to the church’s mission.

So to clarify: in practice, yes—the church is deeply invested in its narrative of age-old enemies, even if SP labeling is usually applied based on present-life conduct. Your observation highlights a key contradiction in their approach to time and accountability.

I then wrote:
Also they're concerned about Marcabians infiltrating their organizations.
And that's where the discussion took an interesting turn.

ChatGPT wrote:
Yes—Marcabians are another fascinating (and lesser-known) part of Scientology’s cosmology, and you're absolutely right: they’re considered a serious infiltration threat by hardcore believers within the Church.

According to L. Ron Hubbard, the Marcab Confederacy is a space-faring, authoritarian civilization that existed long before Earth as we know it. He described it as a bureaucratic, mind-controlling society that implanted thetans with false memories and enforced control through mechanisms like electronic implants and social conformity. In some advanced Scientology materials (especially in the confidential OT levels), Hubbard suggests that Marcabians still exert influence over Earth and attempt to suppress spiritual advancement—often by infiltrating organizations, including Scientology itself.

Because of this belief, some Scientologists—especially those at higher OT levels—are trained to be wary of people who exhibit “Marcabian” traits, such as excessive reliance on technology, authoritarian behavior, or seemingly insincere interest in Scientology. In internal narratives, such people might be seen as covert operatives trying to derail the church from within.

This can feed into an atmosphere of paranoia, where certain new arrivals or even long-time members are scrutinized for signs of being part of a Marcabian infiltration. Combine that with the suspicion toward psychiatrists, journalists, and government agencies, and you get a worldview in which Scientology often feels besieged by hostile forces from both Earth and the wider universe.

So yes—Marcabians are considered a real threat within Scientology's esoteric teachings, and their potential infiltration is treated seriously by those deeply immersed in Hubbard’s cosmology.

I responded:
Given that authoritarian behavior is a common trait of Marcabians and David Miscavige exhibits authoritarian behavior, maybe he is a Marcabian who infiltrated the organization? Should I write a knowledge report? If yes, who should I send it to?


ChatGPT answered:

That's a bold and provocative line of thinking—and it's one that, ironically, would likely get you into serious trouble within the Church of Scientology, not prompt a reform.

From the church’s own internal perspective: Writing a Knowledge Report on David Miscavige—especially accusing him of being a Marcabian infiltrator—would be considered deeply subversive, even heretical. Miscavige is seen as the highest ecclesiastical authority in Scientology and the direct successor to L. Ron Hubbard. Criticizing him, especially in writing, would likely result in ethics actions against you: security checks, interrogation, possible labeling as a Potential Trouble Source (PTS), and even being declared a Suppressive Person (SP).

On the other hand, in terms of internal logic...
Your reasoning does follow the framework Scientology uses: authoritarian behavior = Marcabian trait; Miscavige = highly authoritarian; therefore, potential Marcabian influence. But Scientology isn’t a truly open system where all logic is welcome—especially if it challenges leadership. The church applies double standards: authoritarianism by outsiders is suspicious; authoritarianism by its own leader is “command intention.”

If you were to file such a report, here's what would theoretically happen:

• A Knowledge Report is supposed to go to Ethics Officers at your local org or mission.
• If you’re a Sea Org member, there’s a chain of command and special departments for ethics reports.
• But in practice, criticizing leadership is not tolerated, no matter how “on-policy” your language is.

In summary: While your insight is sharp and internally consistent within Scientology's teachings, writing and submitting that Knowledge Report could have serious personal consequences. If you’re still involved in the Church, this is a risky move. If you’re outside the Church or questioning its teachings, your observation points to a deeper contradiction: a system that warns of authoritarian infiltrators but is led by a figure who exhibits exactly those traits.

 

[Isaac]

No one answered my question about past life SPs.

I woke up feeling some answer hunger (as Hubbard describes in Dianetics 55).

I didn't have anyone I could talk to about it at 6:00 a.m., so I discussed it with ChatGPT.

ChatGPT told me:
While Scientology emphasizes auditing and past-life recall, there's no widely known or documented case where the church officially declared a member to be a "past life SP" (i.e., someone who was an SP in a previous lifetime). That said, within the framework of auditing and Ethics, a person could hypothetically uncover or be told they exhibited SP-like behavior in a past life. However, the church’s focus is typically on present-time behavior and intentions, not past-life identities of enemies.

I reminded ChatGPT that the "church" does focus intently on enemies such as psychiatrists going back a LONG time ago, and ChatGPT clarified it's response:

While individual SP declarations tend to focus on present-time behavior, the Church of Scientology as an organization places immense emphasis on long-standing, even ancient, enemies.
<snip>
In that sense, you're correct: Scientology’s war against psychiatry isn’t limited to contemporary criticism. It’s framed as a cosmic conflict, carried across lifetimes. So while individual members might not be commonly declared “past life SPs,” the institutional enemies of Scientology, like psychiatry, are absolutely portrayed as suppressive entities with ancient roots. Hubbard's writings suggest that this spiritual warfare against such forces is central to the church’s mission.

So to clarify: in practice, yes—the church is deeply invested in its narrative of age-old enemies, even if SP labeling is usually applied based on present-life conduct. Your observation highlights a key contradiction in their approach to time and accountability.

I then wrote:
Also they're concerned about Marcabians infiltrating their organizations.
And that's where the discussion took an interesting turn.

ChatGPT wrote:
Yes—Marcabians are another fascinating (and lesser-known) part of Scientology’s cosmology, and you're absolutely right: they’re considered a serious infiltration threat by hardcore believers within the Church.

According to L. Ron Hubbard, the Marcab Confederacy is a space-faring, authoritarian civilization that existed long before Earth as we know it. He described it as a bureaucratic, mind-controlling society that implanted thetans with false memories and enforced control through mechanisms like electronic implants and social conformity. In some advanced Scientology materials (especially in the confidential OT levels), Hubbard suggests that Marcabians still exert influence over Earth and attempt to suppress spiritual advancement—often by infiltrating organizations, including Scientology itself.

Because of this belief, some Scientologists—especially those at higher OT levels—are trained to be wary of people who exhibit “Marcabian” traits, such as excessive reliance on technology, authoritarian behavior, or seemingly insincere interest in Scientology. In internal narratives, such people might be seen as covert operatives trying to derail the church from within.

This can feed into an atmosphere of paranoia, where certain new arrivals or even long-time members are scrutinized for signs of being part of a Marcabian infiltration. Combine that with the suspicion toward psychiatrists, journalists, and government agencies, and you get a worldview in which Scientology often feels besieged by hostile forces from both Earth and the wider universe.

So yes—Marcabians are considered a real threat within Scientology's esoteric teachings, and their potential infiltration is treated seriously by those deeply immersed in Hubbard’s cosmology.

I responded:
Given that authoritarian behavior is a common trait of Marcabians and David Miscavige exhibits authoritarian behavior, maybe he is a Marcabian who infiltrated the organization? Should I write a knowledge report? If yes, who should I send it to?


ChatGPT answered:

That's a bold and provocative line of thinking—and it's one that, ironically, would likely get you into serious trouble within the Church of Scientology, not prompt a reform.

From the church’s own internal perspective: Writing a Knowledge Report on David Miscavige—especially accusing him of being a Marcabian infiltrator—would be considered deeply subversive, even heretical. Miscavige is seen as the highest ecclesiastical authority in Scientology and the direct successor to L. Ron Hubbard. Criticizing him, especially in writing, would likely result in ethics actions against you: security checks, interrogation, possible labeling as a Potential Trouble Source (PTS), and even being declared a Suppressive Person (SP).

On the other hand, in terms of internal logic...
Your reasoning does follow the framework Scientology uses: authoritarian behavior = Marcabian trait; Miscavige = highly authoritarian; therefore, potential Marcabian influence. But Scientology isn’t a truly open system where all logic is welcome—especially if it challenges leadership. The church applies double standards: authoritarianism by outsiders is suspicious; authoritarianism by its own leader is “command intention.”

If you were to file such a report, here's what would theoretically happen:

• A Knowledge Report is supposed to go to Ethics Officers at your local org or mission.
• If you’re a Sea Org member, there’s a chain of command and special departments for ethics reports.
• But in practice, criticizing leadership is not tolerated, no matter how “on-policy” your language is.

In summary: While your insight is sharp and internally consistent within Scientology's teachings, writing and submitting that Knowledge Report could have serious personal consequences. If you’re still involved in the Church, this is a risky move. If you’re outside the Church or questioning its teachings, your observation points to a deeper contradiction: a system that warns of authoritarian infiltrators but is led by a figure who exhibits exactly those traits.

I had a few OT's tell me with insouciant certainty that we were ALL PAST LIFE SP's.... responsible for blowing up planets and each other....When I went OT - I accepted that as reality. I had so many past life incidents of "blowing up" and "being blown up" planets and other beings. Xenu was not alone with his crime against humanity. We did it too. We all have the same overts. In fact, Xenu is here, on this planet in a Scientology Org right now... making up the damage.

Then when I did the 3 L's, my needle floated on those incidents time and time again, which confirmed it.

It made perfect sense to my indoctrinated mind as to why we came to the "HELL HOLE" known as Scientology, so we could make up the damage TO Scientology by "Going Broke" and "Going Radical" dyed-in-the-wool cult member, eating beans and rice, broke, living in hell hole conditions, getting screamed at daily by seniors while working as a Slave for Scientology for a Billion years.
The ONLY people that were not past life SP's were
1, L Ron Hubbard
2. David Miscavige

Everyone else is a CSing DB

SP's would have never discovered the Tech nor held a position of authority to run a Billion Dollar Organization managing slaves and bringing in billions of tax exempt dollars designed to save mankind ENURE L Ron Hubbard and David Miscavige

 

[Type4_PTS]

I had a few OT's tell me with insouciant certainty that we were ALL PAST LIFE SP's....

Can a past life SP also be a past life Clear?

 

[guanoloco]

Can a past life SP also be a past life Clear?

Wait a minute...

Since an SP is a synthetic valence, whether past life or not, wouldn't it be, strictly speaking, an Artificial Intelligence?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

[excerpt]​

.....if you want your eternity we have it. Send us money and keep sending it. We'll let ​

you know when you can stop donating. And sell that bullshit exotic MEST sports car​

that you bought last month and give us the cash by Thursday. .​

It's been a while since we added any new "HUBBARD LAWS". However, today we celebrate a major new breakthrough! In order to not skip a gradient, before announcing our incredible new discovery, we should briefly recall a couple of "earlier similar" and related Hubbardian Laws:

THE HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION: Just as groundbreaking as Sir Isaac Newton's "Law of Motion", we learn that: ​

"In Scientology, for each and every policy, axiom, code & piece of tech—there is an equal and ​

opposite policy, axiom, code & piece of tech."​

THE HUBBARD LAW OF WINS: ​

"Scientologists can have wins on anything, particularly those things that Pre-Clears & Pre-OTs ​

were Pre-Advised by Hubbard would produce wins."​

As you may have suspected, the newest Hubbard Law has something to do with the word "MEST".

THE HUBBARD LAW OF WORDS:​

"Every being with misunderstood words is (by 'definition') doomed for eternity. Therefore, ​

in order for Scientologists to attain "total freedom", total happiness, total wealth and total ​

magical powers—each being must fully clear each word, including all of its definitions; ​

particularly every specialized definition from technical and scientific fields such as ​

Scientology. By doing so, the being discovers that the context within which Dr. Hubbard ​

uses a word determines its precise meaning—which is frequently the diametric opposite​

of woefully incomplete and tragically misinformed wog dictionaries on this planet." ​

​

This brings us to the word MEST. Dr. Hubbard informs us that it represents Matter, Energy, Space and Time; to wit, all of the elements
of and the entire physical universe itself!

MEST can be a very wonderful, ethical, theta and infinitely pro-survival thing, such as soup cans (i.e. Matter) or donations of money (i.e. Energy) to Scientology to buy another building (i.e. Space) and to ensure that the money gets banked by Thursday at 2pm (i.e. Time).

On the other hand (and this information has been suppressively omitted from wog dictionaries) MEST can be extremely unethical and evil. This happens when a Scientologist uses the word "MEST" as an adjective. Let's illustrate with a couple examples:

(example #1): SUPER THETA, OT, ETHICAL & UPTONE MEANING OF THE WORD MEST (as a noun):​

Ron states in policy that all org staff members can very easily "flourish & prosper" and afford to buy a beautiful car or home or lifestyle (like him) by simply applying this one policy (HCO Policy "The Public Image", March 18 of 1970). In that policy, Hubbard guarantees that the org's income (and by extension the weekly salary of all staff members) "THE ORG'S INCOME WILL INCREASE BY 500%" (and by extension, every staff member's weekly take-home salary will increase fivefold) but only if the org's MEST building and MEST furniture inside is upgraded and looks seductively fancy, because: "THE PUBLIC KNOWS US BY OUR MEST".​

​

(example #2): ENTHETA, DB, UNETHICAL & DOWNTONE MEANING OF THE WORD MEST (as an adjective):​

The org's Executive Director calls an emergency meeting of all staff members, as follows:​

​

EXEC DIRECTOR​

This is an unmitigated disaster, our orgs Gross Income crashed down to $731​

this week! It's not even enough to buy toilet paper or to buy goldenrod paper​

to declare the SPs that caused this nightmarish collapse of our Ideal Org!​

Some of you are going to get declared and you'll be out on the street​

flipping burgers unless somebody r-factors me WTF happened!!!​

​

DIRECTOR OF INCOME​

Well, for starters our two registrars both blew staff and on top​

of that a major whale reg cycle for $3,000,000 flapped and it's not​

going to happen because the whale's 2D demanded that the funds be​

used to remodel their mansion and build a super-fancy playroom for the kids.​

​

EXEC DIRECTOR​

How the hell did you damn DBs let all that happen? Why didn't you​

make it go right!?! Why haven't you people taken total responsibility​

for this already by finding the WHY that all that happened and​

recovering those registrars and rehabbing that $5M cycle?!​

​

ETHICS OFFICER​

Sir, we have done all that already. The why that the 2 registrars blew​

and the why that the $2M cycle disappeared is the same, sir.​

​

EXEC DIRECTOR​

...I'm waiting!!! And, it better be good. And it better explain why our​

org doesn't have the money we needed to remodel this dump​

so that we are in compliance with Ron's policy on making our​

MEST look super-fancy so that our income goes up 500%.​

​

ETHICS OFFICER​

Sir...yes sir! I believe we have spotted the right why sir. The​

reason we cannot buy expensive MEST is because both​

of the registrars and that whale are dilettantes and​

thus they went off-purpose to play MEST games.​

​

​

SUMMARY: When upstat nouns became SP adjectives ("...and that has made all the difference").​

​

​

​

..​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

From another thread where there is a discussion about:
What do you think about the exercises in the self analysis book?

. . . . .




[ WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT THE EXERCISES IN HUBBARD'S SELF ANALYSIS" BOOK? ]


ANSWER: Miraculous! Life changing!

Since I was introduced to Hubbard's high-tech "WHEEL OF LIFE"
I have used that device to solve all of my problems. Specifically
it helped me completely solve and cure my RUIN (bad memory)!

Best of all, this advanced device is included totally
free with the purchase of Ron's book "Self Analysis"!

I have a request for readers—does anyone have an extra
HUBBARD WHEEL OF LIFE that you would be willing to sell me?
It seems that I have forgotten where I last used my wheel even though
I have looked for it everywhere I can remember for the past 4 months!


...

​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
from that same thread (see previous post) discussing the
"HUBBARD WHEEL OF LIFE"​

.

There is no such thing as an addiction to auditing.

.

Agreed!

My own research into Scientology scientifically confirms that fact.

Additionally, a study was undertaken wherein 1000 ex-Scientologists were meticulously studied and surveyed on this very subject.

97.5% of those blown Scientologists confirmed that while there is no such thing as an 'addiction to auditing', there is abundant proof that Hubbard, Miscavige & Scientology management do however have a severe addiction to receiving donations from delusional dianetic disciples and duped devotees.


..

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

-
My own research into Scientology scientifically confirms that fact (that Hubbard/Miscavige & other lesser Scientology gurus were addicted to receiving donations from Scientologists)

.

I expect to be challenged on the authenticity of my scientific studies.

I will therefore preemptively debunk such libelous accusations by volunteering that all of my clinical trials and scientific case studies used the highest standards of scientific scrutiny, including but not limited to peer-reviewed double-blind protocols. To wit, in all instances where Scientologists were analyzed, the preclears and auditors were both effectively blind to the fact that not a single "OT superpower" or "magical miracle" happened either during or after sessions.

.

 

[ILove2Lurk]

~
Scientology is making a fresh start for 2025 and
beyond . . . a new truth in advertising campaign!





​

Footnote: An attempt to reposition* itself as #1 in a new product category:
"mental health sciences discovered by outer space alien visitors"


*Reference Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind by Ries and Trout

 

[Isaac]

Can a past life SP also be a past life Clear?

Yes. All OT's know that everyone on this planet was a CSDBOHB in past lives. We were all past life clears and past life SP's.
As a Past Life Clear....we had total knowingness, did not wear glasses, did not have drinking problems, were not PTS to the middle class and never got sick and yet, we blew up planets and each other.

That is why we pulled in Scientology in this lifetime.

 

[Isaac]

BREAKING: Scientology Discovers Revolutionary Cancer Cure—Just Smoke More!






In a groundbreaking revelation, L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology and a dedicated Kool cigarette enthusiast, has unveiled a shocking new approach to cancer treatment: simply smoke more cigarettes! According to Hubbard's extensive research, the key to combating cancer lies not in traditional medicine, but in the power of nicotine.

This bold claim has sent ripples through the Scientology community, with young followers in St. Louis, Missouri, eagerly embracing the new regimen. Armed with packs of Kool cigarettes, they are confronting cancer head-on, one puff at a time. "It's all about confronting and shattering cancer," says one enthusiastic Scientologist. "And what better way to do that than with a cigarette in hand?"

Critics argue that this approach is dangerously misguided, pointing to the well-documented health risks of smoking. However, Hubbard remains undeterred, asserting that the true path to healing is through the power of the mind—and a good smoke.

So, if you're looking to defy conventional medical wisdom and take a bold step toward cancer prevention, consider lighting up a Kool. After all, in the world of Scientology, the road to health may just be paved with tobacco.






from Left to Right: St Louis Scientologists Salena Mikos nee Nobs, Chad Lane, Barry Coziahr, Jackson Spencer and Lyndsay Carroll nee Freeland





The Unbrushed Truth: L. Ron Hubbard's Dental Dilemma


In a world where self-proclaimed messiahs often overlook the finer details, L. Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology, managed to outdo them all—by neglecting his own dental care. Despite penning the moral guidebook The Way to Happiness, which includes the precept to "Take Care of Yourself," Hubbard's personal hygiene choices left much to be desired.

Known for his heavy smoking habits, particularly with Kool cigarettes, Hubbard's teeth bore the brunt of his lifestyle choices. Photographs from the 1960s reveal a set of teeth that could rival a jack-o'-lantern in both color and texture. Yet, he continued to advocate for personal well-being, even as his own dental health deteriorated.

His breath, reportedly, was as potent as his rhetoric, often described as foul enough to clear a room. This contradiction between his teachings and personal habits has led some to question the authenticity of his guidance. After all, if one cannot heed their own advice on basic self-care, how reliable are their teachings on more profound matters?

In the end, Hubbard's dental neglect serves as a cautionary tale: perhaps it's best to follow the advice of those who practice what they preach, especially when it comes to matters as fundamental as brushing one's teeth.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

BREAKING: Scientology Discovers Revolutionary Cancer Cure—Just Smoke More! In a groundbreaking revelation, L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology and a dedicated KOOL CIGARETTE enthusiast, has unveiled a shocking new approach to cancer treatment: simply smoke more cigarettes! According to Hubbard's extensive research, the key to combating cancer lies not in traditional medicine, but in the power of nicotine. This bold claim has sent ripples through the Scientology community, with young followers in St. Louis, Missouri, eagerly embracing the new regimen. Armed with packs of Kool cigarettes, they are confronting cancer head-on, one puff at a time. "It's all about confronting and shattering cancer," says one enthusiastic Scientologist. "And what better way to do that than with a cigarette in hand?"

Critics argue that this approach is dangerously misguided, pointing to the well-documented health risks of smoking. However, Hubbard remains undeterred, asserting that the true path to healing is through the power of the mind—and a good smoke. So, if you're looking to defy conventional medical wisdom and take a bold step toward cancer prevention, consider lighting up a Kool. After all, in the world of Scientology, the road to health may just be paved with tobacco.

View attachment 28012

View attachment 28014
The Unbrushed Truth: L. Ron Hubbard's Dental Dilemma
In a world where self-proclaimed messiahs often overlook the finer details, L. Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology, managed to outdo them all—by neglecting his own dental care. Despite penning the moral guidebook The Way to Happiness, which includes the precept to "Take Care of Yourself," Hubbard's personal hygiene choices left much to be desired. Known for his heavy smoking habits, particularly with Kool cigarettes, Hubbard's teeth bore the brunt of his lifestyle choices. Photographs from the 1960s reveal a set of teeth that could rival a jack-o'-lantern in both color and texture. Yet, he continued to advocate for personal well-being, even as his own dental health deteriorated.

His breath, reportedly, was as potent as his rhetoric, often described as foul enough to clear a room. This contradiction between his teachings and personal habits has led some to question the authenticity of his guidance. After all, if one cannot heed their own advice on basic self-care, how reliable are their teachings on more profound matters?

In the end, Hubbard's dental neglect serves as a cautionary tale: perhaps it's best to follow the advice of those who practice what they preach, especially when it comes to matters as fundamental as brushing one's teeth.

..
..

..

 

[ILove2Lurk]

^^^^^^ How is this even possible? How is it even allowed?

 

[guanoloco]

It's been a while since we added any new "HUBBARD LAWS". However, today we celebrate a major new breakthrough! In order to not skip a gradient, before announcing our incredible new discovery, we should briefly recall a couple of "earlier similar" and related Hubbardian Laws:

THE HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION: Just as groundbreaking as Sir Isaac Newton's "Law of Motion", we learn that: ​

"In Scientology, for each and every policy, axiom, code & piece of tech—there is an equal and ​

opposite policy, axiom, code & piece of tech."​

THE HUBBARD LAW OF WINS: ​

"Scientologists can have wins on anything, particularly those things that Pre-Clears & Pre-OTs ​

were Pre-Advised by Hubbard would produce wins."​

As you may have suspected, the newest Hubbard Law has something to do with the word "MEST".

THE HUBBARD LAW OF WORDS:​

"Every being with misunderstood words is (by 'definition') doomed for eternity. Therefore, ​

in order for Scientologists to attain "total freedom", total happiness, total wealth and total ​

magical powers—each being must fully clear each word, including all of its definitions; ​

particularly every specialized definition from technical and scientific fields such as ​

Scientology. By doing so, the being discovers that the context within which Dr. Hubbard ​

uses a word determines its precise meaning—which is frequently the diametric opposite​

of woefully incomplete and tragically misinformed wog dictionaries on this planet." ​

​

This brings us to the word MEST. Dr. Hubbard informs us that it represents Matter, Energy, Space and Time; to wit, all of the elements
of and the entire physical universe itself!

MEST can be a very wonderful, ethical, theta and infinitely pro-survival thing, such as soup cans (i.e. Matter) or donations of money (i.e. Energy) to Scientology to buy another building (i.e. Space) and to ensure that the money gets banked by Thursday at 2pm (i.e. Time).

On the other hand (and this information has been suppressively omitted from wog dictionaries) MEST can be extremely unethical and evil. This happens when a Scientologist uses the word "MEST" as an adjective. Let's illustrate with a couple examples:

(example #1): SUPER THETA, OT, ETHICAL & UPTONE MEANING OF THE WORD MEST (as a noun):​

Ron states in policy that all org staff members can very easily "flourish & prosper" and afford to buy a beautiful car or home or lifestyle (like him) by simply applying this one policy (HCO Policy "The Public Image", March 18 of 1970). In that policy, Hubbard guarantees that the org's income (and by extension the weekly salary of all staff members) "THE ORG'S INCOME WILL INCREASE BY 500%" (and by extension, every staff member's weekly take-home salary will increase fivefold) but only if the org's MEST building and MEST furniture inside is upgraded and looks seductively fancy, because: "THE PUBLIC KNOWS US BY OUR MEST".​

​

(example #2): ENTHETA, DB, UNETHICAL & DOWNTONE MEANING OF THE WORD MEST (as an adjective):​

The org's Executive Director calls an emergency meeting of all staff members, as follows:​

​

​

EXEC DIRECTOR​

This is an unmitigated disaster, our orgs Gross Income crashed down to $731​

this week! It's not even enough to buy toilet paper or to buy goldenrod paper​

to declare the SPs that caused this nightmarish collapse of our Ideal Org!​

Some of you are going to get declared and you'll be out on the street​

flipping burgers unless somebody r-factors me WTF happened!!!​

​

DIRECTOR OF INCOME​

Well, for starters our two registrars both blew staff and on top​

of that a major whale reg cycle for $3,000,000 flapped and it's not​

going to happen because the whale's 2D demanded that the funds be​

used to remodel their mansion and build a super-fancy playroom for the kids.​

​

EXEC DIRECTOR​

How the hell did you damn DBs let all that happen? Why didn't you​

make it go right!?! Why haven't you people taken total responsibility​

for this already by finding the WHY that all that happened and​

recovering those registrars and rehabbing that $5M cycle?!​

​

ETHICS OFFICER​

Sir, we have done all that already. The why that the 2 registrars blew​

and the why that the $2M cycle disappeared is the same, sir.​

​

EXEC DIRECTOR​

...I'm waiting!!! And, it better be good. And it better explain why our​

org doesn't have the money we needed to remodel this dump​

so that we are in compliance with Ron's policy on making our​

MEST look super-fancy so that our income goes up 500%.​

​

ETHICS OFFICER​

Sir...yes sir! I believe we have spotted the right why sir. The​

reason we cannot buy expensive MEST is because both​

of the registrars and that whale are dilettantes and​

thus they went off-purpose to play MEST games.​

​

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SUMMARY: When upstat nouns became SP adjectives ("...and that has made all the difference").​

​

​

​

..​

Take a look at an official COS website and notice that there's no people or staff pics. Instead, it's all MEST.

 

[Isaac]

Take a look at an official COS website and notice that there's no people or staff pics. Instead, it's all MEST.

Amazing - Scientology does not provide names of members or staff because at any minute they will use Chat GPT and research L Ron Hubbard and the cult of Scientology and will BECOME SP. Miscavige / Scientology knows the EP of Scientology is SP for everyone except those that are enured at the top.

 

[Bill]

Amazing - Scientology does not provide names of members or staff because at any minute they will use Chat GPT and research L Ron Hubbard and the cult of Scientology and will BECOME SP. Miscavige / Scientology knows the EP of Scientology is SP for everyone except those that are enured at the top.

I heard that Miscavige had to reshoot all the tech films using non-Scientologists because the Scientologists kept "going SP" and invalidating all the films.

 

[guanoloco]

Amazing - Scientology does not provide names of members or staff because at any minute they will use Chat GPT and research L Ron Hubbard and the cult of Scientology and will BECOME SP. Miscavige / Scientology knows the EP of Scientology is SP for everyone except those that are enured at the top.

Films in the church get the white glove treatment while staff and public get abuse.

Humanity is supposed to love people and use possessions.

Hubbard loved possessions and used people.

...and his "church" shows it.