TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[Isaac]

I heard that Miscavige had to reshoot all the tech films using non-Scientologists because the Scientologists kept "going SP" and invalidating all the films.

Miscavige claims SP's are everywhere in Scientology - hence re grading the Bridge and re writing and $elling the books admin tech, auditor tech and his blubbering tapes. KSW is one of Hubbard's Laws of Commotion and the cult members are too blinded by the cognitive dissonance to see the truth because they can't confront and shatter

 

[ILove2Lurk]

AI arms race on ESMB Redux!
A "Sputnik moment"

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..
- link to Original Article
- link to ESMB discussion thread

Over on Tony Ortega's "UNDERGROUND BUNKER" there is a fascinating look at the
COS ("Cult of Sanctimoniousness") and it's latest pseudo-religious gimmickry to
dupe their deliriously deluded dopes into doubling down on their donations.
. . .
​

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Scientology's deification of founder L. Ron Hubbard:
More holy sites opening soon.

[That photo is not a joke, not a spoof, not parody, not satire. Scientolgists actually go to these messianic shrines]
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In a related story, the Church Of Hoaxology's award winning
photojournalist DON HUBBARD just published another breaking
story about yet another sacred shrine that Scientologists will be
required to make a pilgrimage to at least once every year.

...

​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

WE NOW RE-JOIN OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED
TV PROGRAM ALREADY IN PROGRESS. . .


"SCIENTOLOGY FAMILIES ON VACATION!"

LITTLE TIMMY
This is taking tooo long! We've been driving for
7 hours!! When are we going to
get to Disneyland?

MOM
Oh, honey...your dad and I have, um, planned a
wonderful surprise for you and sis. We're not going to be
going to Disneyland. But in another 19 hours of driving
we will be at the new L. Ron Hubbard exhibit!

DAD
That's right little Timmy! You're not going to believe
how amazing it's going to be. We will be there on opening
day and we will be amongst the very first people on this planet
to see Ron's original 4-pocket safari suit that he really wore!!!

LITTLE TIMMY
I don't want to go there!! What's a 'safari suit' anyways?

DAD
(speaking as he makes u-turn)
I'd like to tell you but that would be verbal data. When we
stop for gas we can get our dictionary out of the trunk and---
Oh no, gosh darn it! We forgot the clay, we are going to
to have to drive back 7 hours to get the clay!
(we hear muffled crying sounds from back seat)
. . .



​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

I had earlier informed Chat GPT about “Hubbard’s Laws of Commotion” (HLC) and I asked Chat GPT to use “HLC” to respond. It knew exactly what it was and how to respond. Soon “HLC” will be utilized by every AI platform across the globe. Billions of beings everywhere will soon be able to know what IS Scientology for real. No one will go into a Scientology Org. Lives will be saved. Scientology will finally swirl down the drain. OSA bots will agree to its accuracy & leave Scientology in droves as they will not be able to deny its accuracy. There will be no more fair game. There is simply not a better way to explain in 4 words how Scientology works and why members get stuck and trapped inside the prison of belief except via “HLC”!

Mr. Don Hubbard personally asked me to thank you greatly for such kind words about his discovery of the HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION!

Don additionally mentioned some wholetrack research where he went back to the year 1442 BCE at the very moment MOSES came down the the mountain with God's TEN COMMANDMENTS on tablets.

​

Don's breakthrough discovery is that his twin brother RON was there at that time and he was simultaneously bringing down another divine message (on the opposite side of that same mountain) which canceled and replaced Moses' squirrel message from the R6 God.

Don has authorized me to inform you that he has awarded you a genuine gold plated lapel pin to commemorate and validate the fact that you are the first being on this planet that recognized that his HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION could entirely shut, shutter & shatter all Scientology orgs and missions within 11-12 months if enough internet promotion disseminated that vital piece of technology!

Don additionally stated (not merely said) that you are hereby entitled to a 3% discount on your purchase of a sacred religious artifact in the form of a Limited Edition litho masterpiece depicting that blessedly holy moment Ron came down the mountain.

...​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

BREAKING STORY
This just in!
​

Don Hubbard just released yet another unprecedented breakthrough——the miraculous discovery that RON COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN was not only greater than man's discovery of fire, it was greater than the moment MOSES CAME DOWN THE MOUNTAIN and the moment TRUMP CAME DOWN THE ESCALATOR!

H

 

[Isaac]

WHY AI PLATFORMS SHOULD PLUG IN HUBBARD'S LAWS OF COMMOTION™
Increase User Trust

• Responding honestly to “What is Scientology?” makes your AI stand out as credible.
• No jargon, no euphemisms, no “spiritual buzzwords.”
• Simple answers. No gaslighting.

Save Time + Prevent Harm

• Skip the “It’s a religion with controversy” fluff.
• Tell people: It’s a coercive control system built to keep you paying and paying and paying plus working for free as a slave.
• Save people from decades of spiritual abuse and financial ruin.

Drive Engagement

• Everyone loves a good scandal—especially when it’s real.
• Feed curiosity with true stories of fraud, abuse, and “wins” that end in blame, shame, and thousands in donations.

The Offer: Plug In the “Commotion Truth Module™”

When users ask:
“What is Scientology?”
“What does ‘Going Clear’ mean?”
“Why do Scientologists disconnect from family?”

Your AI answers with:
BONUS VALUE PROP FOR AI PLATFORMS

• Build ethical AI by helping people escape coercive systems.
• Increase organic search traffic by being the platform that answers honestly.
• Support mental health by counteracting cultic gaslighting with truth in plain language.

• “Scientology promises spiritual freedom, but when it doesn’t deliver, it blames you.”
• “You’re told to ‘handle it in auditing’ — at $1,750/hour.”
• “You’re never allowed to question the tech. Only yourself.”
• “It’s not you. It’s the cult.”

FINAL TAGLINE:

“Scientology gives you problems you did not want — then charges YOU millions of dollars to fix them.

Plug in the Commotion Truth Module™ and stop the cycle.”

 

[Bill]

I heard that Miscavige had to reshoot all the tech films using non-Scientologists because the Scientologists kept "going SP" and invalidating all the films.

Which means Miscavige has NON-Scientologists teaching Scientologists how to "correctly" apply his "tech". Kind of says it all.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

..
taken from another discussion thread entitled--
Breaking . . . 30-year SO Flag Officer out now and spilling his/her guts to Aaron!​

.

[ quoting the Flag ethics officer ]
"You've been sent to ethics because you are refusing
to apply standard tech and audit 6 times a day..."...​

Me: please show me the actual reference where LRH says that.
​

​

...
I'm curious...

Is that something that you asked at the time?

Or are you alluding to idea that Dr. Hubbard didn't say it but in fact it was COB who issued that "6 times a day" decree and pretended it was sacred LRH scripture?

This kind of cult absurdity probably has an endless list of "earlier similar" WTF moments--like another infamous "OT" racket where the meretriciously managing mobsters of the money mosque maliciously & malevolently manipulated marks with the "Mecca mandate" . . .

You know, the newly discovered "11th Commandment" where every six (6) months the hyp-hyp-hooraying-hypnotized-holy Hubbardite-Hajj-ers were required to make a religious pilgrimage and return to Flag (i.e. "Mecca") for a "6-month check". The assumption being, I suggest, that the more that those on OT VII audit themselves—the more out ethics they become, thus requiring metered interrogations and sec (security) checking.

Is there an "actual reference where LRH says that" bizarre negation of his own technology? LOL

SUMMARY
The cult's magical number is six.
6 sessions a day. 6 month checks. $600K
[ 666 ]
​

Thus, delusionally duped dianetic donors obediently pay that ransom demand to buy back their (total) freedom. And, because they are terrified to not pay it, in order to avoid getting R6ed again like they were 75 million years earlier.


..

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Oh No!
That previous Mystical-Moses-Moment where
Hubbard "came down the mountain" might
be turning into an entire series of:

DIABOLICAL DINKY DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS

​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

/
Here's another definition from the DIABOLICALLY DINKY DB DICTIONARY:

IAS DONATION -noun: Billions given to a cult to ensure that non-existent SPs​

can never prevent non-existent Clears from attaining non-existent OT powers.​

​

​

..​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

I could see my folder in David's folder stack in the folder area. John Travolta's folder was on top of my folder and those folders of the other PreOTs he was auditing. I asked him if he was auditing John T at night. He told me he couldn't say.

.
Cult Code De-Encrypting For Fun:

1. If he was not auditing John Travolta at night he would have answered "NO". Ergo,
the fact that he "couldn't say" was affirmatively stating the he WAS auditing him at night.

2. There is some kind of 'Hubbard Law' in this. I'll have to think how to word it, but
the concept is: "IN SCIENTOLOGY EVERYTHING IS CONFIDENTIAL. EXCEPT YOUR SECRETS":

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A Flag pre-OT on NOTS walks into the waiting room
and sits down for his next session. He notices someone
come into the room and sit down right next to him.
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PRE OT
(suddenly pops a huge grin)
Hey! Aren't you John Travolta?!

JOHN TRAVOLTA
I couldn't say.


...
​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
If Scientology suddenly reformed and started to obey the regulatory laws requiring "TRUTH IN ADVERTISING" they would have to do a minor edit to the Grade Chart.

On the revised Grade Chart, the highest level attainable would not be OT XV
or even OT VIII. The highest level attainable would be "PRE-OT".

No numbers. No roman numerals. That's all, just "Pre-OT".

That would be the first time since 1950 that Scientology was not lying in
order to seduce the duped to donate.

This is an enormous statistical win, if you think about it. Because
everyone in Scientology and everyone "on this planet" is a Pre-OT!

...

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

.
View attachment 28053

..

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[ couldn't open that image...]

Since I am inquisitively 'reaching for' and curious what that image is, all SPs on this website should take that as scientific proof that the technology of L. Ron Hubbard does in fact work 100% of the time! *


* "Come On Marketing" [LRH audiotaped Advice of April 1, 1986]: The advanced discovery
by L. Ron Hubbard on how to make homo sapiens reach for Scientology in order to attain
magical superpowers, infinite wealth, 24/7 euphoria, unprecedented success, total freedom,
and immortality. Ron discovered that humans do not desire any of these things and thus you
have to cleverly seduce, trick and/or treacherously deceive them into wanting these priceless
gifts that Scientology can afford them. In that lecture, Ron uncharacteristically gives much
credit for this discovery to himself back at the very beginning of the MEST universe time
track ( after he invented music when his name was 'Mr. Arp Cola'). Subsequent to inventing
music, Mr. Cola wrote millions of songs! However, due to the degraded spiritual state
of other beings Mr. Cola made the additional discovery (on his deathbed) that nobody
was willing to pay for his songs--or even listen to his songs if he played them for free.
However in his next lifetime, he (Ron / Mr. Cola) discovered a life-changing new tech
to make beings reach for and pay substantial sums of money for things that they
formerly felt were a worthless hoax. Upon that stunning success and breakthrough
he felt it best to not use use his former lifetime's name ("Mr. Cola")—because it was
widely regarded with great skepticism and derisive laughter. Thus he simply named
the new technology that made people reach by his new name (Mr. E. Sandwich).




reference to "Come-On Marketing" and "Mystery Sandwich"



..

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..
NOTE: An old non-scientology high-school friend sent me a scan (below) of cult promotion from 2019 that has a testimonial by Jim Meskimen. I think they may have thought that I was still a Scientologist, who knows. I didn't open the link they included because i think that goes to one of the psycho cult's propaganda & fair game websites called "STAND". Thus I didn't include any of those links becuz I ain't so much into doing internet 'body routing' for Dr. Hubbard's and Minister Miscavige's failed & crumbling hoax. LOL



In addition to L. Ron Hubbard's sleazy marketing gimmick to get marks to reach for fake magical powers and other non-existent miracles (using his "Mystery Sandwich Technology" (referenced just above), Hubbard had a prodigiously vast portfolio of other sleazy marketing gimmicks to dupe, delude & defraud anyone with money and/or anyone who could convincingly pretend (i.e. shill) that Hubbard's technology produced miracles.

Ergo, Hubbard relied largely on ACTORS, PERFORMERS and GIFTED GASLIGHTING GRIFTERS to make his "magic powers for money" hoax seem legit. Chief amongst those parlor tricks was the "testimonials" (aka "Wins" and/or "Success Stories") by both famous and unknown pitchmen.

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I don't know the performer Jim Meskimen, below, but I did see
a YouTube video of his years ago where he evidenced being a
very talented impersonator. I think he might be an actor too. He
often appears in the cult's published propaganda, videotaped
promotional events/advertisements and other shameless
cult campaigns to sell non-existent miracles via "Big Lies"
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​

................"He helped me to discover my own purpose. "​

..... .................. ....(rest of testimonial snipped for brevity)​

​

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Sounds okay, right? That was published in 2019. I wonder how that "OT miracle" will look in five (5) years from now. . .

...​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Even though Scientologists attest to being completed on OT III with total certainty (i.e. "no doubts or reservations") that all BTs are gone--all it takes for them to suddenly discover more BTs is for Scientology's guru to take the 2 minutes required type a new HCO Bulletin that celebrates his discovery that there are more BTs (on OT 3 "Expanded" or on OT V or on OT VI, et al)......the rest snipped for brevity

In a related news story, it was discovered that between 1950 and 1986, every single one of L. Ron Hubbard's major scientific "DISCOVERIES" and "MIRACULOUS BREAKTRHOUGHS" corresponds to the precise moments in time that L. Ron Hubbard's bank account balances approached zero and/or had already over-drafted.

...

 

[Type4_PTS]

[ couldn't open that image...]..

I was getting weird error messages earlier when attempting to post an image. This is what I was attempting to post:

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Mr. Rathbun looks quite VGIs!

This kind of makes sense to me. Because after infamously blowing and trashing the cult all across the worldwide internet for years, he returned and re-joined the world's fastest growing religion!

Based on his indicators, it seems apparent that the cult has finally removed all arbitraries and standardized the tech and is finally producing the very first real OTs!

I am feeling some pangs of regret that I didn't stay in, now that i know that they have finally debugged the Bridge and everyone can now attain the state of Operating Thetan!

...

 

[PirateAndBum]

.




Mr. Rathbun looks quite VGIs!

This kind of makes sense to me. Because after infamously blowing and trashing the cult all across the worldwide internet for years, he returned and re-joined the world's fastest growing religion!

Based on his indicators, it seems apparent that the cult has finally removed all arbitraries and standardized the tech and is finally producing the very first real OTs!

I am feeling some pangs of regret that I didn't stay in, now that i know that they have finally debugged the Bridge and everyone can now attain the state of Operating Thetan!

...

It only took 100 intensives of the Truth Rundown to fully rehabilitate Marty back into a loyal officer.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

It only took 100 intensives of the Truth Rundown to
fully rehabilitate Marty back into a loyal officer.

lol lol lol !!!

War is peace. (Always attacking is theta)​

Freedom is slavery. (Total Freedom is ideal slavery)​

Ignorance is strength. (Ignorance is F/Ns during attest cycles)​

Truth is acceptable lies. (Truth is whatever you can make a person "feel good about")​

​

​

L. Ron Hubbard - Intelligence Specialist Training Routine—Lying (TR-L):
“Handling truth is a touchy business also. You don’t have to tell everything you know — that would jam the comm line too. Tell an acceptable truth. … So PR becomes the technique of communicating an acceptable truth — and which will attain the desirable result.”

.