TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

PART II: "The Secret of Better Relationships"




I did not even bother to look up what is on page 122, before confidently
stating here that there is NOTHING in the book Dianetics that will
magically make better relationships. I know this because pre-natal
engrams don't affect relationships decades later. They don't affect
anything, mainly because "Dr" Hubbard just made it all up.

To prove the point that Dianetics has nothing to do with
an individual's relationships, allow me to remind viewers
what happens if a Scientologist inside an Ideal Org is having
a terribly bad time with their current relationship. What does
the org do? Send them to get a Dianetics session to look for
engrams? Nope. What they actually do is tell them to forget
about engrams because "the Secret of Better Relationships"
is that the only reason relationships fail is because of overts
and withholds. So instead of looking for engrams to erase
with Dianetics, they just order the individual to "write up their
Overts & Withholds" on the relationship. Or they might sell
the person 50 hours of "2nd Dynamic Sec Checks" or
"Integrity Auditing" or whatever name they are pitching
that particular week. If anyone wants to look up what
is on page 122 and post it here, we'll find out if my
confirmation bias has spiraled out of control! LOL.


.​
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
cross-posted from a discussion on another thread
named
"Case Cracking and the L Rundowns"
excerpt from post by Veda:
"For Scientologists, if someone receives one or more of the Ls, and is not utterly delighted, it's an alarming indication that there is something very wrong with the person. I remember a guy, who had married a wealthy lady and, now, she was paying for him to travel - as a "public" - to the mysterious Flagship (circa 1971), to receive the Ls. He went off to the ship and then eventually returned, and was greeted as a triumphant OT who, assuredly, was stably exterior with full perception. It was obviously uncomfortable for him. He couldn't be honest or he'd be ostracized for making Ron wrong and Ron's Tech wrong, and for being a NCG (No Case Gain) case, or a "DB" (Degraded Being) or even an "SP" (Suppressive Person).
.
It's a fascinating moment you have illustrated. The moment someone returns from an advanced theta dimension called "Flag" and is called upon to share their glorious new OT powers with homo sapiens.

It's the perfect showcase to demonstrate the three (3) essential parts of Scientology. Nope, it's not ARC. Not KRC. Not SCS. Not KSW. Not body-mind-thetan. None of those. I'm talking about the core DNA of Scientology that determines every major and minor physical and behavioral trait of the cult.

SCIENTOLOGY PART 1
THE HYPE
(exterior!)





SCIENTOLOGY PART 2
THE HOPE
(OT power!)




SCIENTOLOGY PART 3
THE HOAX
(With Scientology it's not that you can get back your previous supernatural
God-like powers---but that you can
get back something infinitely more valuable!)


Ideal Scientologist Billy Blowdown has just returned from Flag, the mecca
of technical perfection, where he has received all three (3) L's rundowns!
We now join Billy at a major international Scientology event in progress, where
for two solid hours he has been regaling the mesmerized crowds with his glorious wins.


BILLY BLOWDOWN
...and so my fellow Scientologists ask not what Scientology
can do for you, but ask instead how can I be like Billy
and spend the next 1-2 years and $127,000
to get back my miraculous godlike powers
by doing the fabulous L's at Flag!!!

(crowd erupts with wild cheers in their 7th standing ovation)
Okay, we will now have a free bonus briefing
in case any
of you have any questions.

STU STANDARD
Billy that was so theta and amazing! You spoke about
many gargantuan OT wins but you never really
gave us any of the specifics. For example
can you talk to us how it feels to be
totally exterior with full perception
and able to maintain it?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well, in order to do the Ls you have to sign a
confidentiality agreement, so I'm really not
at liberty to talk about exterior phenomena.

STU STANDARD
Thanks Billy, but can you at least tell us one
of your wins that is not confidential?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Sure! At the very end of the L's rundown
I was so ready to attest but then the C/S found
some other parts of my L's case that apparently
was suppressed and they gave me a new tech
estimate to complete the rundowns. So, that
took me another 3 months but oh my God was it
ever worth it! The wins at the end were totally
spectacular and beyond my wildest dreams!

STU STANDARD
That sounds soooooo theta Billy, wow! But
you said at the end of the rundowns you
had the biggest win of your entire time
in Scientology. Can we hear a little
about that please???

BILLY BLOWDOWN
OMG it was amazing! It was like beyond incredible!
I never felt more total freedom than at that moment!

STU STANDARD
That's so great Billy, but you still never told us
what happened at the end of the rundowns that
made you feel that total freedom. I mean like
like—c'mon man, what happened?!

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well, honestly what the huge win was is just
that after 17 months they finally let me attest!

STU STANDARD
What? That's the win? That you attested?
No really, what was the huge total freedom win?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well, actually the huge win was that
I was eventually able to get back my passport
so that I was finally allowed to leave and go home.

.
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

excerpted from an outstanding article on Tony Ortega's UNDERGROUND BUNKER.
covering the excitement of super-powerful super-beings doing the super-power rundown.

LINK TO FULL ARTICLE HERE:



- - -


Wow, Raul (pictured below) is a genuine Scientology SUPER-HERO!

From doing the Super-Power Rundown, he gained genuine SUPER-POWERS!

And he has a genuine FREEDOM MEDAL OF HONOR!

You only get one of those if you are genuinely Clearing the Planet!




That's all. Raul just came to give us all that R-Factor
that he's a Super Hero of this planet. Good to know!

Probably later, Raul will do the next step on his
Non-Existence Formula with the SPs here at ESMB.
I expect that soon you will each receive a personal com
particle from Raul which (now that he has made himself known)
will ask you "WHAT IS NEEDED AND WANTED?" from him.

Well, I guess there's no reason to wait, I'll just send
in my response to Raul's question right now. . .

Raul, what is needed and wanted is a simple videotaped
demonstration of one of your Super-Hero powers
where you evidence just one (1) miraculous miracle.

Raul, this should only take you 5-10 minutes and you could
put it on YouTube and get somewhere between 100M to 1Billion views
and it would create the largest ever avalanches of new Scientologists flooding
into orgs on this planet! Raul this is an outstanding bargain if you think about
it, because in 5 minutes you would have gotten more people on the Bridge
than anyone in Scientology's entire 72 year history! And Raul, just compare
those numbers to how many people you get on the Bridge when you sit in
front of the org for 16 hours a day offering a free "stress test". If you are lucky
Raul, you might get one person in a full week (16 x 7 days = 112 hours) to
come into the org to buy a book and start the com course. I don't know, Raul,
it's hard for us to think of you as a legit SUPERHERO if you can't do more than
sit at a table 16 hours a day hoping someone will sit down and let you pinch
their arm so you can show that the e-meter needle moved. It doesn't sound like
a superhero power to me. But that miracle, just show us one Raul, we beggin' ya!



.

.
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Okay, we are going to give readers of this thread a spot check to see if you have been looking up your words and using your demo kit!

MULTIPLE CHOICE DU JOUR

WHAT IS DR. HUBBARD DOING IN THIS PHOTO?



* * * PICK ONE * * *

He is case supervising PC folders doing the L's rundowns
and wondering why nobody ever goes fully exterior with perception.


He is writing detailed whistleblowing diatribes to the FBI which expose
all his former wives, staff, students and preclears as pinko commie saboteurs.
In a madly scribbled log-cabin manifesto, Hubbard also volunteers
his professional e-metering expertise to the government at a 50%
discount to his normal hourly auditing rates. And said advisory
efforts, Hubbard assures, will expose all of the commie SP
enemies of American freedom and Scientology total freedom.

He is writing up his overts and withholds on the subject of
fraudulently promoting that everyone will go exterior when
in fact nobody ever achieved that in Scientology including
himself, Mary Sue Hubbard and everyone else he ever
audited, case supervised or met in Scientology.

He is writing down and totaling the tens of millions of
dollars he personally pocketed from selling L's auditing
at the rate of $1,000 to $1,500 per hour, and thinking
of other fake rundowns with fake "OT Powers"
that he can sell gullible Scientology marks.

He is writing a technical bulletin on a "breakthrough" he just
made that explains why some preclears do not think they
went exterior on the L's. And he's jotting down how
lower level pcs (before they are full OT) are

"...only going exterior on the first dynamic"
and so naturally they cannot see anything
other than their first dynamic eyes
can see----in spite of the fact that
they are way outside of the mest
body with full perception and

able to maintain it."


.
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
from another thread making
predictions about the new year 2022
- - -


--snipped--
Instead of moving to CW being quietly pushed it becomes church policy and DM orders all dedicated Scientologists to move to CW as they start shutting down Class V orgs. Scientologists who refuse to move will be ordered to ethics for failing to align with command intention. The reasoning behind the move is "aligned vectors equals power" which doesn't mean anything in the real world but Scientologists love it.
.
LOL!

That new cult slogan is so perfectly inane I can't tell if it's actually a real LRH quote or if it was perhaps manufactured by the Ministry Of Truth.

Once the church announces the discovery of that priceless heretofore lost wholetrack datum, the fundraising can go into high gear to pay for the construction of an all new building in a location that is "safe enough" to deliver the vital SUPER-VECTOR RUNDOWN that will make planetary clearing a reality!


.
 
Last edited:

F.Bullbait

Wise Guy
.

Okay, we are going to give readers of this thread a spot check to see if you have been looking up your words and using your demo kit!

MULTIPLE CHOICE DU JOUR

WHAT IS DR. HUBBARD DOING IN THIS PHOTO?



* * * PICK ONE * * *

He is case supervising PC folders doing the L's rundowns
and wondering why nobody ever goes fully exterior with perception.


He is writing detailed whistleblowing diatribes to the FBI which expose
all his former wives, staff, students and preclears as pinko commie saboteurs.
In a madly scribbled log-cabin manifesto, Hubbard also volunteers
his professional e-metering expertise to the government at a 50%
discount to his normal hourly auditing rates. And said advisory
efforts, Hubbard assures, will expose all of the commie SP
enemies of American freedom and Scientology total freedom.

He is writing up his overts and withholds on the subject of
fraudulently promoting that everyone will go exterior when
in fact nobody ever achieved that in Scientology including
himself, Mary Sue Hubbard and everyone else he ever
audited, case supervised or met in Scientology.

He is writing down and totaling the tens of millions of
dollars he personally pocketed from selling L's auditing
at the rate of $1,000 to $1,500 per hour, and thinking
of other fake rundowns with fake "OT Powers"
that he can sell gullible Scientology marks.

He is writing a technical bulletin on a "breakthrough" he just
made that explains why some preclears do not think they
went exterior on the L's. And he's jotting down how
lower level pcs (before they are full OT) are

"...only going exterior on the first dynamic"
and so naturally they cannot see anything
other than their first dynamic eyes
can see----in spite of the fact that
they are way outside of the mest
body with full perception and

able to maintain it."


.
The picture looks like Ron setting up a line to snort.
 

F.Bullbait

Wise Guy
.
from another thread making
predictions about the new year 2022
- - -




.
LOL!

That new cult slogan is so perfectly inane I can't tell if it's actually a real LRH quote or if it was perhaps manufactured by the Ministry Of Truth.

Once the church announces the discovery of that priceless heretofore lost wholetrack datum, the fundraising can go into high gear to pay for the construction of an all new building in a location that is "safe enough" to deliver the vital SUPER-VECTOR RUNDOWN that will make planetary clearing a reality!


.
Ron states the mundane and followers swoon. "Man, I just had a major cog...".

Let's say Ron said "If you breathe, you will survive". There would be LFBDs all over the org. Yay! :dizzy::woohoo::woohoo:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Ron states the mundane and followers swoon. "Man, I just had a major cog...".

Let's say Ron said "If you breathe, you will survive". There would be LFBDs all over the org. Yay! :dizzy::woohoo::woohoo:
/
LOL!

Yes, Scientologists are meticulously indoctrinated to "cognite" on whatever they are trained to believe is the cause of their ruin, problem or upset.

We will now track the cognitions of Scientology super-cogger (Cary Coggodore) as he handles and re-handles the identical ruin in succeeding decades:

1950's: "Wow, I just handled, erased and cogged on what was causing was causing my ruin on money. I had a prenatal engram where someone was speaking while I was unconscious—and people were having an argument about buying a new Cadillac and one screamed the engramic phrase: "You can't afford it, you're gonna be broke!!" So naturally I dramatized that I could not afford things and that I was always broke. Now I'll never be broke again, thanks Ron!

1960's: "Wow, I just handled, erased and cogged on what was causing was causing my ruin on money. I had an unconscious 75M year old Body Thetan suppressing my havingness! Now I'll never be broke again, thanks Ron!

1970's: "Wow, I just handled, erased and cogged on what was causing was causing my ruin on money. Even though I was Clear and OT III, I was still broke as hell, but then I received 150 hours of Expanded Dianetics and cognited that it wasn't engrams or BTs ruining my money flows. It was my own evil purposes against myself. Now I'll never be broke again, thanks Ron!

1980's: "Wow, I just handled, erased and cogged on what was causing was causing my ruin on money. Even though I had erased all my engrams and BTs and evil purposes, I was still broke as hell, but then received the fabulous L10 rundown that handles the reason a being has sucky low-havingness. That's when I cogged I was not myself but instead in some kind of out-of-valence hobo beingness. Now I'll never be broke again, thanks Ron!

case-crackin' cogs continued
1990's: - - - - -
2000's: - - - - -
2010's: - - - - -
2020's: - - - - -

Everyone is invited to contribute to or complete the above list of case-cracking-cogs that Scientologists have, which change every few years—depending on what the supreme Scientology guru "briefs" them on what is ruining their lives. One year it might be Gorilla Goal Implants and the next year it could be getting run over by freight trains on Venus. But, it's always the hottest new rundown that was just released that will "finally handle everything you could never handle before!"

SUMMARY: It's not that the earlier 100% standard tech didn't work. It's just that the newest tech is 150-200% more standard.

.
 

F.Bullbait

Wise Guy
All it takes is to cloak the mundane in bright (dare I say it?) rhetoric and graphics. Slap on a hefty price tag and there you go!

Yes sir, folks, get your Breathless Rundown here and breathe like you never breathed before; even if you have smoked 10 packs of Kools a day!


 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

HUBBARD'S FAVORITE GASLIGHTING GIMMICK

Asserting lies with total & infallible certainty

Let's give a prime example, which is perhaps at the very core of the cult's corruption & criminality.

EXAMPLE: The countless number times Hubbard stated or inferred that the technology worked 100% of the time and the additional assertion that ALL of the technology to produce Clears and Operating Thetans was fully researched, tested and already released. Let's paste (below) a snippet from Hubbard's adventure tale of journeying to Africa to take over a country with Scientology.

"I’m going to tell you about the adventures of somebody who went out barefooted to take a country. In February of 1966, the organization was running just fine, technology was wrapped up, so I decided, “I’ll go on down to South Africa and get into some mischief.” I didn’t have a very well conceived plan about it, but what I wanted to do was found and locate an alternate base or OT base. So I went down, and I stopped off in Rhodesia. But en route to Rhodesia it suddenly occurred to me that there was a type and principle of constitution that would get them off the hook as a country and solve some of their problems. I wrote it up in some notes, and when I got there I got it typed up and handed it over to the government, who seemed to be very happy about it."


Technology was wrapped up. Really, Ron?

Let's take another look at that timetable.

FEBRUARY 1966: Hubbard claims the tech is "wrapped up"

AUGUST 1967: Hubbard forms the Sea Organization

SEPTEMBER 1967: Hubbard releases OT III. (LINK: "Hubbard announced discovering an important breakthrough within less than a month of founding the Sea Org, the religious order of the church that consists of its most dedicated members. He described it as a 'means of erasing those mental factors that stand in the way of peace and toleration of mankind.' The new material made up the new Operating Thetan III.[15])".

So! Thus in 1966 when Hubbard boasted that the technology was "wrapped up", the Grade Chart did not have any of the following "breakthroughs" that came in the decades to follow:
  • OT I
  • OT II
  • OT III ("Wall of Fire)
  • OT IV ("NOTS drug rundown")
  • OT V ("NOTS")
  • OT VI (Solo Nots Auditor course)
  • OT VII ("Solo NOTS"
  • OT VIII
  • L-10 Rundown
  • L-11 Rundown
  • L-12 Rundown
  • Happiness Rundown
  • Int/Ext Rundown
  • Purification Rundown
  • Class VIII, IX, X, XI, XII (Auditor/Case Supervisor tech and training)
  • Standard Dianetics ("HSDC")
  • New Era Dianetics ("NED")

QUESTION: So if 90% of the "Bridge To Total Freedom" was entirely missing in 1966, how was Hubbard able to claim that the technology was totally "wrapped up"?

ANSWER: Because Hubbard was flagrantly lying—and being able to lie is far and away the most powerful technology that Scientologists have mastered.


.
 
Last edited:

F.Bullbait

Wise Guy
.

HUBBARD'S FAVORITE GASLIGHTING GIMMICK

Asserting lies with total & infallible certainty

Let's give a prime example, which is perhaps at the very core of the cult's corruption & criminality.

EXAMPLE: The countless number times Hubbard stated or inferred that the technology worked 100% of the time and the additional assertion that ALL of the technology to produce Clears and Operating Thetans was fully researched, tested and already released. Let's paste (below) a snippet from Hubbard's adventure tale of journeying to Africa to take over a country with Scientology.

"I’m going to tell you about the adventures of somebody who went out barefooted to take a country. In February of 1966, the organization was running just fine, technology was wrapped up, so I decided, “I’ll go on down to South Africa and get into some mischief.” I didn’t have a very well conceived plan about it, but what I wanted to do was found and locate an alternate base or OT base. So I went down, and I stopped off in Rhodesia. But en route to Rhodesia it suddenly occurred to me that there was a type and principle of constitution that would get them off the hook as a country and solve some of their problems. I wrote it up in some notes, and when I got there I got it typed up and handed it over to the government, who seemed to be very happy about it."


Technology was wrapped up. Really, Ron?

Let's take another look at that timetable.

FEBRUARY 1966: Hubbard claims the tech is "wrapped up"

AUGUST 1967: Hubbard forms the Sea Organization

SEPTEMBER 1967: Hubbard releases OT III. (LINK: "Hubbard announced discovering an important breakthrough within less than a month of founding the Sea Org, the religious order of the church that consists of its most dedicated members. He described it as a 'means of erasing those mental factors that stand in the way of peace and toleration of mankind.' The new material made up the new Operating Thetan III.[15])".

So! Thus in 1966 when Hubbard boasted that the technology was "wrapped up", the Grade Chart did not have any of the following "breakthroughs" that came in the decades to follow:
  • OT I
  • OT II
  • OT III ("Wall of Fire)
  • OT IV ("NOTS drug rundown")
  • OT V ("NOTS")
  • OT VI (Solo Nots Auditor course)
  • OT VII ("Solo NOTS"
  • OT VIII
  • L-10 Rundown
  • L-11 Rundown
  • L-12 Rundown
  • Happiness Rundown
  • Int/Ext Rundown
  • Purification Rundown
  • Class VIII, IX, X, XI, XII (Auditor/Case Supervisor tech and training)
  • Standard Dianetics ("HSDC")
  • New Era Dianetics ("NED")

QUESTION: So if 90% of the "Bridge To Total Freedom" was entirely missing in 1966, how was Hubbard able to claim that the technology was totally "wrapped up"?

ANSWER: Because Hubbard was flagrantly lying—and being able to lie is far and away the most powerful technology that Scientologists have mastered.


.
Since Book 1, the problem with 'wrapping it up' has been the pc...

 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.


Originally posted by F.Bullbait

"Since Book 1, the problem with
'wrapping it up' has been the pc"


- - -


Alternate Version




.
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

talking about volcanos. . .
(see previous cartoon)

75M years ago an evil galactic ruler named Xenu kidnapped
trillions of his taxpaying citizens and shipped their frozen
bodies to earth where they were dumped inside volcanos.


volcano scientology south park



That wasn't good enough to get rid of the frozen aliens so
to be safe, hydrogen bombs were dropped on the volcanos.
The aliens died, but their souls floated to the sky.


south park 11



But even that was not enough to suppress the frozen/dead aliens.
So then, even worse things were done to the them—like IMPLANTING
them with false data, lies and gaslighting about who they were and
where they came from (by routing them into Scientology centers).


1641421784154.jpeg


But all that is not even the dumbest thing about it. The volcano cult
printed tens of millions of copies of their book with graphically lurid
VOLCANO pictures on the front cover. But then the volcano-ologists
were forced to sign confidentiality agreements forbidding them from
ever talking about the volcanos or what they mean. But at the same time
they send people forth onto the streets from all of their volcano-study
centers worldwide with copies of the book and tried to force 7.4
billion people on earth to look at the volcano cover and buy a copy.
And they run radio, tv and internet advertising campaigns that
show the volcano and tease viewers to want to learn the
secrets about the Scientology volcanos by spending
countless millions of dollars to promote the volcanos.




But, wait. There is even something dumber than
all of the above. Scientology sends its public relations
expert on national TV to talk about Scientology, but here's
what happens when they are asked about the volcanos.



And after all that if Scientologists (who have dedicated
their entire lives to studying and selling the volcano book)
go on the internet and read about the meaning of the
volcano, they are declared to be a "Suppressive Person",
disconnected from their families, friends and church brethren
and
then slandered & kicked out of Scientology forever.
.





 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.


.


Veda said:
There are some who reject anything from Hubbard after 1960.

Others reject anything from Hubbard after 1980.
.

I reject anything from Hubbard after 1949.


.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.



THE ONLY 3 THINGS ANYONE
ON THIS PLANET NEEDS TO
KNOW ABOUT SCIENTOLOGY



1.
OT VIII ABILITY ATTAINED:
The ability to be at cause knowingly
and at will over thought, life, form, matter,

energy, space and time, subjective and objective
- L. Ron Hubbard


2.
Actual scientifically certified OT VIIIs

click photo to enlarge


3.
The above pictured OT VIIIs (#2) is how Scientologists' faces
look when they have a mega missed withhold (#1).



.
 
Last edited:

Veda

Well-known member
.



THE ONLY 3 THINGS ANYONE
ON THIS PLANET NEEDS TO
KNOW ABOUT SCIENTOLOGY



1.
OT VIII ABILITY ATTAINED:
The ability to be at cause knowingly
and at will over thought, life, form, matter,

energy, space and time, subjective and objective
- L. Ron Hubbard


2.

click photo to enlarge


3.
That (#2) is how Scientologists' faces
look when they have a mega missed withhold (#1).



.

That's the ability attained of old OT 8. These people did NEW OT 8.

The ability attained of NEW OT 8 is "I have a giant framed certificate, am happy, and I don't know who I am anymore."
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

I reject anything from Hubbard after March 11, 1911 (his birthday)
.

LOL!

I reject anything from Hubbard after July 11, 1910.*


* 9 month allowance for Dr. Hubbard's pre-natal existence.


.
 
Top