TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

Isaac

Well-known member
This really belongs on the STUPID Thread
1641686363107.png

A Scientologist, Michelle Carlbert, actually believing she has reached the state of Clear as she dons her glasses

1641686535278.png

A Scientologist, Tomonaga Endo, holding up the NEW OT VIII cert actually believing he has achieved anything above being completely bamboozled and hornswoggled by buying and doing the Bridge to Total Freedom costing him millions
that there is a NEW OT VIII verses an old OT VIII
and that he got all of the black BT's off of himself in auditing

1641686698342.png

That Scientologists actually believed this guy, L Ron Hubbard, seen here wearing a captains hat was spiritual and held the key to total spiritual freedom for ALL of mankind for eternity
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.


Honorable Mention In The Category Of
TECHNICAL TERSENESS


For successfully advertising the entire 75M history
of the
Wall of Fire— yet only chanting the meaningless
platitude "THIS PLANET" three times!




"OT III handles the materials that have made life hell on this planet"

"Here is the solution to the fourth dynamic engram that has
kept this planet in a fever of wars, mob insanity and intolerance."

"On the other side of the 'Wall of Fire' is freedom from the
aberrated past on this planet."



CULT COPYWRITING CURIOSITY: Scientology OTs feel ever so proud of themselves when reading/hearing the profoundly validating words "this planet" or the exponentially more status-laden term "on this planet". The OT immediately takes a huge win that others recognize and admire their miraculous ability to operate in more locations than just on this one minor mud-ball we call earth.

.
 

PirateAndBum

Administrator
Staff member
.

Scientology's #1 Gimmick
MEANINGLESS MODIFIERS



Without meaningless modifiers invoking grievous gravitas like
"OF EARTH" and "ON THIS PLANET", we'd all be left
hopelessly confused and only guessing where to look!

What I want to know is what the dude on the right had for lunch? Emitting such a solid stream of gas from his ass is something to see his doctor about.
 

PirateAndBum

Administrator
Staff member
This has to rank someplace in the annals of stupid.

Albuquerque held a “ludicrous” event on Saturday…




And here was an email sent out about it that was forwarded on to us…

Albuquerque is on the brink – we are going to complete our fundraising target without question tonight.

This may be your last chance to complete the status you have been dreaming about.

Now is the time to finish your humanitarian!
Now is the time to get on the honor roll!
Come to the virtual event tonight and be prepared to step up because we are hitting this milestone and you want to be part of this.
If you are not registered, go to Wild West Ludicrous Event and register right now. We guarantee you will kick yourself if you miss this!
We are making history – we are finishing the West US and Albuquerque is next!
See you there!
Bill & Lesley McCaffrey
Pull off the "Ideal ludicrous game"? OMG! That is seriously STUPID!

How ludicrous is that?

I wonder how many scilons are dreaming about their ideal status?

Wow, now that is a ludicrous buy now.

This promo is totally ludicrous (on this planet)

I wonder if DM sees this stuff. If I were him they'd be making new space in the Hole for some copywriters.
 

Chuck J.

Well-known member
This has to rank someplace in the annals of stupid.









Pull off the "Ideal ludicrous game"? OMG! That is seriously STUPID!

How ludicrous is that?

I wonder how many scilons are dreaming about their ideal status?

Wow, now that is a ludicrous buy now.

This promo is totally ludicrous (on this planet)

I wonder if DM sees this stuff. If I were him they'd be making new space in the Hole for some copywriters.
I sense something here about attempting to be "insouciant". But it's a FAIL. Insouciant would be going out and getting 20 new warm bodies on course, despite Covid, etc.

But making staff members(?) and public dress-up in stupid costumes? I get a J&D vibe from that, lol. At the least it's not focusing on the positive.

Dumb.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Definition of ludicrous
1: amusing or laughable through obvious absurdity, incongruity, exaggeration, or eccentricity
2: meriting derisive laughter or scorn as absurdly inept, false, or foolish

I have a feeling they failed to FULLY clear their word.
.

LOL!

Your post forgot to mention the cult's most senior policy and sacred scriptural Commandment:

THOU SHALT NOT RIDICULE THE RIDICULOUS!


.
 
Last edited:

Lee #28

Well-known member
Definition of ludicrous

1: amusing or laughable through obvious absurdity, incongruity, exaggeration, or eccentricity
2: meriting derisive laughter or scorn as absurdly inept, false, or foolish

I have a feeling they failed to FULLY clear their word.

Using the word ludicrous is just the Cult doing what is has done for ages.....and that is to COPY new trends and fashions in society...in an effort to position themselves as being "trendy."

It just so happens that Ludicrous is a word that Tesla and Elon Musk are using for one of their car's top speed modes....

Tesla has Ludicrous Mode for fast speed....and Ludicrous Plus Mode....

Edited:

With all the trendy "woke" stuff going on....I can imagine some where inside the Sea Org...there must be a group that is working feverishly to figure out a way to glom onto the "woke trend" and copy it. I'm surprised they if they haven't already....

Scientology: Are you woke?
 

PirateAndBum

Administrator
Staff member
Using the word ludicrous is just the Cult doing what is has done for ages.....and that is to COPY new trends and fashions in society...in an effort to position themselves as being "trendy."

It just so happens that Ludicrous is a word that Tesla and Elon Musk are using for one of their car's top speed modes....

Tesla has Ludicrous Mode for fast speed....and Ludicrous Plus Mode....

Edited:

With all the trendy "woke" stuff going on....I can imagine some where inside the Sea Org...there must be a group that is working feverishly to figure out a way to glom onto the "woke trend" and copy it. I'm surprised they if they haven't already....

Scientology: Are you woke?
Somehow I doubt the scilons that came up with that stupid event idea were copying Elon. They just wanted to fundraise a ludicrous amount of cash. Joke's on the marks that dress up like idiots.

Scientology is about as anti-woke as it is possible to be, but on the other hand it is as ludicrously extremist as the wokesters in the opposite direction.
 

Isaac

Well-known member
The hypocrisy of L Ron Hubbard and Scientology is not only stupid but it is extremely TRAGIC


1641878205606.png

1641878414226.png

Scientology's leader David Miscavige had personally begun managing Lisa's "auditing" which is the process used by Scientologists to move up the spiritual bridge. On September 7, 1995 Miscavige declared Lisa a "clear"

1641878627661.png
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Cross-posted from another thread discussing the
cult's virtual elimination of the "vital" St. Hill Special
Briefing Course, Class VIII Course and other planet
saving auditor course levels that ensure we as beings
will never again fall in to the MEST trap due to lack of
TRAINING and the miraculous knowledge it imparts!

This is no joking matter because right now around the
planet and throughout the universe there are fully
certified Clears and Operating Thetans who have
been tricked into implant stations where they are
being fed false data. The complete opposite of

the true data that Dr. Hubbard humbly provided!

- - -

.
Well let us not forget that David "Darth Midget" Miscavige committed a High Crime (per explicit Hubbard policies) when he merged ASHO Foundation (the entirely separate evening and weekends org) into ASHO Day leaving only ASHO. And now, neither of them deliver the St. Hill Special Briefing Course which is required to make new top drawer Class VI Case Supervisors (C/Ses) for all those "Ideal Orgs" (as per other explicit Hubbard policies), and the only reason St. Hills exist at all (per other Ron Hubbard even more explicit policies). Make no mistake. By destroying the St. Hill course a couple of decades back, D.M. ensured the ultimate demise of official corporate Scientology, as there could be no more new professional C/Ses to head up tech delivery in orgs and missions (both existing and new ones) which, in turn, would bring in more new Scientologists.
.

I agree with everything you said, except for one important point.

In 2022, Scientology is still producing Clears and OTs, exactly the same way as when Dr. Hubbard was running the Church of Scientology. I can offer scientific proof of that:



HOMO NOVIS CERTIFICATION!

(Hey, they don't just hand those priceless completion certs out to just anyone!)


.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

.

Somehow I doubt the scilons that came up with that stupid event idea were copying Elon. They just wanted to fundraise a ludicrous amount of cash. Joke's on the marks that dress up like idiots. Scientology is about as anti-woke as it is possible to be, but on the other hand it is as ludicrously extremist as the wokesters in the opposite direction.
.
.
I am not entirely sure that dressing up like pirates and evil psychs and and festive clowns is an inappropriate way to promote Dr. Hubbard's greatest scientific breakthroughs in the history of this planet. What you seem to be missing is that big beings only win when they are not serious and invoking the "SPIRIT OF PLAY".

One of Dr. Hubbard's most miraculous discoveries is that a being's supernatural powers (i.e. postulates) only work when the being has a childlike mentality full of imagination and magical thinking! Beings soar up the tone scale immediately when they "dress up" in costumes and use the power of make-believe just like it's Halloween every day of the year.



Hey y'all DBs and SPs...
TRICK OR TREAT!

"....may be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed." -Hubbard

(on the positive side at least Ron gave everyone a multiple choice)


.


 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Celebrating the indescribably stupid graphics in
the book that was supposed to make planetary
clearing a reality ("The Scientology Handbook")
- - -

The original. . .





The explanation. . .


.
 

Chuck J.

Well-known member
^^^
But who is the guy between Jesus and the Flag folder page - or Auditor or Sears mannequin or whoever he is. The fact that he's positioned LOWER than Jesus has some significance I'm not immediately grasping.

Is that supposed to be Mohammed? The positioning seems like an insult to Islam to me.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
^^^
But who is the guy between Jesus and the Flag folder page - or Auditor or Sears mannequin or whoever he is. The fact that he's positioned LOWER than Jesus has some significance I'm not immediately grasping.

Is that supposed to be Mohammed? The positioning seems like an insult to Islam to me.
.

"Flag Folder Page" - LOL.

.
As far as the guy at far left (below). . .I'm with you—Mohammed.



One wonders about the face covering, whether it's out of
respect for the Koranic prohibition of ever depicting any
graphic image of the Islamic Messenger of God. It's either
Him, or it's just some lowly Sea Org member covered in
sheets and an industrial strength N90 Hijab-ventilator mask.

And as far as the suit-wearing body router that is trekking
up and down 119 degree desert mountains in order to stalk
and sell LRH books to fleeing nomad squirrels. . .



Yup, I'm sticking with Sears manikin for the win. If given a second
choice, I'd guess "an errantly delivered museum exhibit that
was originally intended for Madame Tussauds
"


.



 

Chuck J.

Well-known member
That could have been a Major Blunder on the $cn. managements part to position Mohammed LOWER than Jesus. Lucky it was the 60s or 70s when they did this. If it was nowadays Davey would have a Fatwa put out on him.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
The following may explain why in Scientology
UP-tone, UP-stat beings that are UP-above you
on the command channel never pull in the motivator

of being DOWN in the lower conditions.
- - -


Enthetan said:
And naturally the MAA or Missionnaire cannot be a "who" here.
.


Exactement!


THE HUBBARD LAW OF THE WHY, THE WHO
AND THE COMMAND CHANNEL WOO

The "why" and the "who" are always someone other than the person
who ordered or is conducting the ethics investigation. And the party who is
responsible for making things go wrong is always a DB/SP lower on the
command channel than the big being who made it go right to discover
and severely punish said wickedly counter-intentioned saboteur.



FREE BONUS PRO-TIP FOR SCIENTOLOGY STAFF MEMBERS: Never accept any organizational post where you do not have at least one (1) junior. Thereafter, if anything happens that is less than IDEAL anywhere in Scientology (and upper management is looking for who caused it) you can still make things go right to safeguard your own eternity.


.
 
Last edited:

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

.

A rare editorial comment from the
Founder of the Church of Hoaxology. . .


archive photo courtesy of a generous grant from the ILove2Lurk Foundation

In a dozen years of contributing to the "Top Super-Stupid Moments
in Scientology" thread, my favorite personal post has often changed.
If ESMB was the Titanic and there was only room enough
to take one (1) post with me into the lifeboats,
today that would be the one.

—L. Don Hubbard

.
 
Last edited:
Top