TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

Dotey OT

Re-Membered
One wants it to work so bad that they will comb their minds to find someway it helped them.


At Scientology Inc., we do a great job of hearing you. And we heard you!! As a result of that, we have unearthed some amazing lost tech, so lost that it almost couldn't be found. But we found it and don't ask how.


download.jpg


Announcing the "Success Story Success Rundown"

It's a fantastic new old RD that gets to the heart of what thetans have problems with in regards to success stories.

Here are some success stories from the new rundown:

"I always had a problem coming up with something I got from auditing at the examiner. It was excruciatingly painful, always. Until I did the SSSR!!! I won't have that problem, ever again!! I want to thank LRH for this beautiful gift. But I really want to thank COB, Mr. David Miscavige. Without him we would all be lost. He is the greatest person to ever exist, ever!! Give him all of your money!! To COB!!!"

And here is another fantastic success story from the SSRD:

"I always had a problem coming up with something I got from auditing at the examiner. It was excruciatingly painful, always. Until I did the SSSR!!! I won't have that problem, ever again!! I want to thank LRH for this beautiful gift. But I really want to thank COB, Mr. David Miscavige. Without him we would all be lost. He is the greatest person to ever exist, ever!! Give him all of your money!! To COB!!!"

And here is another unbelievable success story from the SSRD:

"I always had a problem coming up with something I got from auditing at the examiner. It was excruciatingly painful, always. Until I did the SSSR!!! I won't have that problem, ever again!! I want to thank LRH for this beautiful gift. But I really want to thank COB, Mr. David Miscavige. Without him we would all be lost. He is the greatest person to ever exist, ever!! Give him all of your money!! To COB!!!"

Yet another SSRD win:

"Ngayon na ang oras para sa lahat ng mabubuting lalaki na mag-coe sa tulong ng kanilang partido"

Translated=


"I always had a problem coming up with something I got from auditing at the examiner. It was excruciatingly painful, always. Until I did the SSSR!!! I won't have that problem, ever again!! I want to thank LRH for this beautiful gift. But I really want to thank COB, Mr. David Miscavige. Without him we would all be lost. He is the greatest person to ever exist, ever!! Give him all of your money!! To COB!!!"


See the registrar today!!!!
 
O

Oat Tea Ate

Guest
At Scientology Inc., we do a great job of hearing you. And we heard you!! As a result of that, we have unearthed some amazing lost tech, so lost that it almost couldn't be found. But we found it and don't ask how.


View attachment 2862


Announcing the "Success Story Success Rundown"

It's a fantastic new old RD that gets to the heart of what thetans have problems with in regards to success stories.

Here are some success stories from the new rundown:

"I always had a problem coming up with something I got from auditing at the examiner. It was excruciatingly painful, always. Until I did the SSSR!!! I won't have that problem, ever again!! I want to thank LRH for this beautiful gift. But I really want to thank COB, Mr. David Miscavige. Without him we would all be lost. He is the greatest person to ever exist, ever!! Give him all of your money!! To COB!!!"

And here is another fantastic success story from the SSRD:

"I always had a problem coming up with something I got from auditing at the examiner. It was excruciatingly painful, always. Until I did the SSSR!!! I won't have that problem, ever again!! I want to thank LRH for this beautiful gift. But I really want to thank COB, Mr. David Miscavige. Without him we would all be lost. He is the greatest person to ever exist, ever!! Give him all of your money!! To COB!!!"

And here is another unbelievable success story from the SSRD:

"I always had a problem coming up with something I got from auditing at the examiner. It was excruciatingly painful, always. Until I did the SSSR!!! I won't have that problem, ever again!! I want to thank LRH for this beautiful gift. But I really want to thank COB, Mr. David Miscavige. Without him we would all be lost. He is the greatest person to ever exist, ever!! Give him all of your money!! To COB!!!"

Yet another SSRD win:

"Ngayon na ang oras para sa lahat ng mabubuting lalaki na mag-coe sa tulong ng kanilang partido"

Translated=


"I always had a problem coming up with something I got from auditing at the examiner. It was excruciatingly painful, always. Until I did the SSSR!!! I won't have that problem, ever again!! I want to thank LRH for this beautiful gift. But I really want to thank COB, Mr. David Miscavige. Without him we would all be lost. He is the greatest person to ever exist, ever!! Give him all of your money!! To COB!!!"


See the registrar today!!!!
"I won't have that again" will only last for that day.
But next week, stats have to be obtained so Scientology will re stimulate and enturbulate you some how in order to make more money and get others to make more money.
I think Hubbard called it SP - "always restimulating, never erasing.
That is Scientology.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

THE TWO SIDES OF SCIENTOLOGY PROMOTION
- - -


- what scientology wants you to see -


Jeez, that looks good. I get free auditing up to OT VIII
so that I can have miraculous superpowers
and then life is Ideal on this planet
and for me personally!




- what scientology doesn't want you to see -



. . . and what was that last part again? It's so easy to clear the
planet--if i don't do it quickly, it's because I am a
countered-intentioned fucking SP and
I am going to get imprisoned in an
underground chain locker with
dogfood and paper to
write down my

crimes
?


.



. . .
 
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Karen#1

Well-known member
The problem with somebody like Jeanie:

If she comes into your life, and later DM makes her an offer that she can again have a position of power in Scientology, if she stabs her benefactor in the back, how sure can you be that she won't take the offer?

Never forget the fable of the scorpion and the frog.

And yes, I've met Jeanie. I don't have an extensive history with her like you, but from my experience I would not let her in my home.

There are always rumors that cannot be corroborated, so I cannot verify this as more than a rumor,
From the leak that I have, Jeanie has been declared Suppressive Person.

I tend to believe it. They do not send out Declares publically anymore for fear of them getting posted on the Internet.

Hard to verify.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
They do not send out Declares publicly anymore for fear of them getting posted on the Internet.

Interesting religion!

They spend BILLIONS of dollars since 1950 to PROMOTE their holy scripture because the cult believes that it is "mankind's only hope to survive" the end of the world.

Billions! to make Hubbard's tech known to the world.

However, they refuse to post their planet saving tech for free on the internet.

CONCLUSION #1: They are fanatically focused upon and dedicated to saving the world, unless they can make monster money doing so. If the tech works as they say and if people reading it immediately come uptone and stop robbing/murdering/raping (from just reading the Way To Happiness Pamphlet)---why won't they publish it for free online? The only conclusion is that the Church of Scientology would rather have a world WITH criminality, war and insanity if they don't make huge dollars.​
This applies as well to their holy ethics tech. The purpose of an SP Declare is listed as a way to bring the truth about a very evil person to light so that others do not get tripped up trusting them. Therefore it is firm church policy that Declare orders are supposed to be broadly issued and read. When the cult refuses to print out a copy or even give a copy of their SP DECLARE to the person they deem to be "as bad as Hitler", then the church doesn't believe in their own tech.

CONCLUSION #2: If the church hides a SP's declare they are ashamed of it. This means they know they have done something awful and they want to hide (WITHHOLD) it, which is the opposite of Scientology tech---which is supposed to allow everyone to VIEW things directly so that negative situations and "harmful mental charge" (energy) can be made to disappear. But what they are making disappear is the issue with (supposedly) the truth printed on it. This tells us that Scientologists are liars and covertly hostile, the thing they purport to fix in the human race.​

.
 

Karakorum

Ron is the source that will lead you to grief
.


Because nothing demonstrates "FREEDOM FROM OVERWHELM"
nearly as much as a blankly saucer-eyed cult zombie who has
been so thoroughly overwhelmed by a lavishly expensive
alien exorcism hoax they don't happen to notice
they are standing in the middle of a fire.


.

Nothing demonstrates "Freedom from overwhelm" like working 15+ hours a day while being stuck with 180+ active cases in your tracker, half of them aging with 60 or so on "pending" status when you know they are in fact "pending" only with the scanning team. :omg:

And then a CMO loon comes and say: "Hey Kara, I need to talk to you about that case that you are now working on... you know the one that arrived this morning" and you reply: "If you haven't noticed, I have slightly more than 1 case that I'm working on and I have not even opened any of the cases from today so go away and look nice somewhere else". Then you of course lose time for the inevitable shouting match that follows :catfight:

After that unfortunate interlude, you go back to your desk and see all the new KRs coming in. You do the math and you realize there's more cases being assigned daily per capita to your team than are being closed :eek:. Oh and then you notice a case which requires you to send someone from your team to frigging Oregon on an investigation, because OBVIOUSLY you have all that massive manpower to spare. :screwy:

...and this is just Tuesday afternoon. :nooo:


And that my dear folks is just what: "Freedom from overwhelm" really is.
 

Harden Long

OSA no esta hermOSA
Interesting religion!

They spend BILLIONS of dollars since 1950 to PROMOTE their holy scripture because the cult believes that it is "mankind's only hope to survive" the end of the world.

Billions! to make Hubbard's tech known to the world.

However, they refuse to post their planet saving tech for free on the internet.

CONCLUSION #1: They are fanatically focused upon and dedicated to saving the world, unless they can make monster money doing so. If the tech works as they say and if people reading it immediately come uptone and stop robbing/murdering/raping (from just reading the Way To Happiness Pamphlet)---why won't they publish it for free online? The only conclusion is that the Church of Scientology would rather have a world WITH criminality, war and insanity if they don't make huge dollars.​
This applies as well to their holy ethics tech. The purpose of an SP Declare is listed as a way to bring the truth about a very evil person to light so that others do not get tripped up trusting them. Therefore it is firm church policy that Declare orders are supposed to be broadly issued and read. When the cult refuses to print out a copy or even give a copy of their SP DECLARE to the person they deem to be "as bad as Hitler", then the church doesn't believe in their own tech.

CONCLUSION #2: If the church hides a SP's declare they are ashamed of it. This means they know they have done something awful and they want to hide (WITHHOLD) it, which is the opposite of Scientology tech---which is supposed to allow everyone to VIEW things directly so that negative situations and "harmful mental charge" (energy) can be made to disappear. But what they are making disappear is the issue with (supposedly) the truth printed on it. This tells us that Scientologists are liars and covertly hostile, the thing they purport to fix in the human race.​

.
When I was around during the 70's they began implementation of the monthly price increases which only served to freeze people out from going up the grade chart. They would hard core reg you to join staff if you were on the training package at a class IV org. You would be told that it's up to you to help clear the planet. In other words it was up to you to make it all go right when they were doing all they could to make it all go wrong. A fool's paradise if there ever was one. An insidious living quicksand of souls with traps within traps within.....
 
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Karakorum

Ron is the source that will lead you to grief
People around me use "SP" as an abbreviation of "sharepoint". Still feels weird to me, I need to go and run some more HvH deprogramming process on myself it seems :LOL:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
cross-posted from another thread
titled:
"Sane & Honest Version of Scientology?"

posted by I told you I was trouble
--snipped--
Being back in the normal world where people are rarely inclined
to try and be amateur psychologists was a huge relief.
.
LOL! That's very funny.

There appear to be many kinds of "huge relief" back in the normal world. I would include in my personal favorites this one:

Being Back In The Normal World Is A Huge Relief Because. . .

WHEN I WAKE UP EACH MORNING I DON'T HAVE TO
WORRY THAT WHAT I DO OR DON'T DO THAT DAY WILL
SABOTAGE RON'S MIRACULOUS TECH AND THEREBY
DESTROY MANKIND'S ONLY HOPE, AS WELL AS
PREVENTING OUR UNIFORMED SALVATION
NAVY FROM SALVAGING
THIS SECTOR.


Being a normal human is never having to say you're sorry (if someone pulls the air cover off this planet).

.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
Thanks to ITYIWT for this all new feature on the Stupid Thread:

Being Back in The Normal World Was A Huge Relief Because. . .
When I saw a movie with Tom Cruise that I didn't like,
I was able to avoid the DevT of writing up my
wholetrack O/Ws on messianic moviestars.

.
.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Being Back in The Normal World Was A Huge Relief Because. . .
I don't keep getting annoying messages on my answering machine
from Ron, saying stuff like: "Hey, sorry I missed you. Listen, something
came up and I had to leave this planet and go into deep space. I am therefore
turning my hat over to you to Clear this planet and do so within 5 years which
is all the time we have before it blows up. So don't screw this shit up! If you
run
into any problems at all just use my tech of making it go right."

I hate it when my guru blows, hat dumps and leaves a post-it that reminds me to "Be sure to remember to save the world!"

.
 
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Dotey OT

Re-Membered
how-to-spot-a-sinking-ship.jpg

Scientology.

Stuck in the 1940's, thanks to the writings of the grand poobah of the navy himself, Wrong Harbored.

S.O., stuck in 1940's US Navy hierarchy and policy. The US Navy had based itself on the model of the British Navy. The British Navy saw the error in it's ways and changed. USN, ditto.

Sea Organization horribly organized, all the way down to the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.

"Management Technology", set down in voluminous volumes of letters, advices, executive directives, Sec ED's, policy letters, fallacy letters, administrative letters, policy directives, blah blah blah.

Try and make sense of this:

“Only when I have personally written a bulletin, a policy letter or a Sec ED* should it be signed ‘L. Ron Hubbard’ or ‘L. Ron Hubbard, Executive Director’.

When I have knowledge of or have okayed a bulletin, policy letter or Sec ED but have not actually written it, it should be signed ‘Jane Doe (the name of the actual writer) for L. Ron Hubbard, Executive Director’.

When I have not seen or okayed a policy letter or a bulletin or a Sec ED but it is published by the authority of a held post such as HCO Sec*, it should be signed ‘Jane Doe (actual name of person issuing) HCO Sec (or other title)’.

The field or public must not be led to believe that I have written or issued things I have not. Further, other people have authority, too.” LRH


(from HCO PL 21 Jun 59 “Signatures on Bulletins, Policy Letters and Sec EDs” - full text of the policy letter is given)


I see that you poured yourself a drink after that. Pour one for me.

It doesn't get better.


“My priority line here is an HCO Bulletin. That means TECHNICAL. If originated by me only it is on white paper with red ink. ...

HCO Policy Letters are now my administrative policy line. They are received done in green ink on white paper. ...

An HCO Information Letter is now to be issued by me only and is blue ink on white paper. ...

These three are the total of just
my mimeograph line to HCOs, Central Orgs and Franchise Holders and the public as indicated. ...

COMPLETE LIST OF MIMEOS

Here is a complete list of all types of HCO issues, their appearance, authorship and their handling.


HCO Bulletin. ... By LRH. ...

Red ink on White paper. ...

HCO Policy Letter. ... By LRH. ...

Green ink on White paper. ...

HCO Information Letter. ... By LRH. Blue ink on White
paper. ...



I don't want to do this anymore.

Here is a link to wise old goat:









 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Imagine a belief system so deeply and profoundly destructive that, those who leave, and go on on to experience decades-long PTS-D...they are viewed as the fortunate ones.
Laughter in the face of such obscene absurdity is truly merciful, and no, I’m not talking about Socialism.
.
Talking about PTS-D (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) after leaving the cult. . .

That reminds me of "being PTS" (Potential Trouble Source) during the cult. . .

KSW KOAN
If a standard auditor is applying the standard tech standardly
and running a "Search & Discovery" to identify the SP that is ruining
the PC's life---should the standard auditor do the standard thing and
indicate the PC's floating needle
when they find their "item" and have
a huge win and cognition and joyous laughter upon realizing that they
are PTS to LRH, the being that discovered the PTS tech?

.
 

Karakorum

Ron is the source that will lead you to grief
Sea Organization horribly organized, all the way down to the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.


Oh no, that was Ron's system. Dave changed it entirely.

Dave left the Hubbard system, but then added an entirely separate management structure that runs parallel to Ron's one through RTC and CMO straight to Dave. All in order to assure that Dave gets to steer the ship.

So what does the poor chap in middle management do? He receives 3 different orders from his regular superiors from the Hubbard system, then another order through some CMO loon, then another order through a guy waving a policy letter in front of his face...
Oh and if that was not enough, there is also that computer that sends out orders separate from all what I just described.

In short: if you combine all these orders, print them out on A4 paper and line them up one by one you they will reach the Van Allen belt.

"Management Technology", set down in voluminous volumes of letters, advices, executive directives, Sec ED's, policy letters, fallacy letters, administrative letters, policy directives, blah blah blah.


Just wait for one of those moments when two old SO salts, who both look like King Neptune himself, sit down to discuss policy. Each has a different dog in the fight and they both know the 'scriptures' like the back of their hand.

This turns into a literal symposium on "miscellanea Hubbardiana", with each side quoting 7 or more different directives or policy letters to prove the exact opposite point than the other guy is making. It would be hysterically funny, if it wasn't for the fact that your very existence may depend on the outcome of this 'great debate'.

The field or public must not be led to believe that I have written or issued things I have not.

Oh no Ron, never! What would the world come to if we allowed the public to believe even one single false thing about you? :LOL:

“My priority line here is an HCO Bulletin. That means TECHNICAL. If originated by me only it is on white paper with red ink. ...

HCO Policy Letters are now my administrative policy line. They are received done in green ink on white paper. ...

An HCO Information Letter is now to be issued by me only and is blue ink on white paper...


These three are the total of just my mimeograph line to HCOs, Central Orgs and Franchise Holders and the public as indicated.

COMPLETE LIST OF MIMEOS

Here is a complete list of all types of HCO issues, their appearance, authorship and their handling.


HCO Bulletin. ... By LRH. ...

Red ink on White paper. ...

HCO Policy Letter. ... By LRH. ...

Green ink on White paper. ...

HCO Information Letter. ... By LRH. Blue ink on White
paper. ...
...


Color coded for our convenience. I always knew Ron was a genius and the utmost an expert when it comes to ergonomics. :hysterical:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
image posted by Dotey OT

SCIENTOLOGY SOLE SURVIVOR SEES
SEA ORG SHIP SLOWLY SINKING




- SCIENTOLOGY RULES -

If the survivor in the lifeboat is a lower level Scientologist
the reason the boat sank is because he is an SP.

However, if the survivor in the lifeboat is Scientology's leader, the reason
the boat sank is because of wholetrack psych conspiracies and
other intergalactic SPs that launched suppressive attacks.
Because the leader is so OT that his tech is making
free beings, so naturally vast forces of evil
throughout the universe are trying to
stop him by sinking his boat--
so they can keep
everyone as
slaves.




 
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Karakorum

Ron is the source that will lead you to grief
.
image posted by Dotey OT

SCIENTOLOGY SOLE SURVIVOR SEES
SEA ORG SHIP SLOWLY SINKING




- SCIENTOLOGY RULES -

If the survivor in the lifeboat is a lower level Scientologist
the reason the boat sank is because he is an SP.

However, if the survivor in the lifeboat is Scientology's leader, the reason
the boat sank is because of wholetrack psych conspiracies and
other intergalactic SPs that launched suppressive attacks.
Because the leader is so OT that his tech is making
free beings, so naturally vast forces of evil
throughout the universe are trying to
stop him by sinking his boat--
so they can keep
everyone as
slaves.




I think both interpretations are a bit out of touch with reality.
The sad truth is that is not a lifeboat. It never was a lifeboat. The guy in the wooden boat is a never-in, cult-disaster-tourist.
As for the rest of us, well...
 
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Dotey OT

Re-Membered
download.jpg


Announcing the "End of Endless Letter Writing Rundown"

At Scientology Inc., we stay on top of things by staying on top of things. That’s how we noticed the quality of letters written out of CF had dropped since the days of the Commode-odor. We found some more lost tech, and you will be happy to know it is going to make planetary clearing a reality.


About the "End of Endless Letter Writing Rundown"


It’s a life changing letter writing listing and nulling folder culling high tech extravaganza of whole track knick-knack paddy whack theta pulling “whew” life changing, well, it’s really really good. It can be done by anyone at any point on the bridge. It can be done over and over again. (And you will probably be told to do it over again, and again, and again, on your own nickel. Ed.)



Here is a success story:

"I used to hate writing letters. I felt like it was a total waste of time. Thousands and thousands of letters I had written, without a response. But now, after the End of Endless Letter Writing Rundown, I feel like a new being. I can’t wait to go into CF and pull out files, study the folders and write letters that will get people back into the org. Really, I am not kidding!”

And here is another fantastic success story from the EOELWRD:

"Letter writing now seems so simple when you use the tech! Now I can write letters and people just show up! With their lawyers too! Amazing Tech Breakthrough!"

And here is another unbelievable success story from the Letter RD:

"I got a letter a few weeks back that said ‘We are holding your family hostage until you show up at the Org.’ I thought oh crap!! So I went in and I found out that the guy that wrote that letter had just done the RD. Wow, this really works! Sign me up! Now my letters make people come into the org too!!”




See the registrar today!!!!
 
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