TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Here at the headquarters of the Church of Hoaxology
we are working hard on researching & publishing a short list of the:

FIRST 3 STUPID SCIENTOLOGY LIES
In an earlier post---somewhere in the first 10 years of the multi-part STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY thread (see archived links here), we discovered the first lie that Hubbard told prospective marks.

I. Hubbard's was a man of action! He didn't care to dilly-dally about, so he got right down to business, telling his first lie in the first thing he ever typed. However, even back in 1950 he knew about gradients, so waited until the 4th word:

Dianetics: The Modern Science Of Mental Health

- - -
II. Hubbards 2nd stupid lie was not discovered until today, due to being hidden behind thickly billowing clouds of stupidity emanating from it. It was always right there on the first course that all cult members are required to do. It was on the first page of course, right at the top.

Training Routine Zero (TR-0)
This is the drill to ensure that the Scientologist is...present. They call it "present time". TR zero literally gives a Scientologist the newfound ability to "Be There". New inductees and veteran Scientologists alike assume the "zero" refers to this being the first drill. While there may be some truth to that, there is an equal and opposite meaning to that word. Because all Hubbard's training is dedicated ensuring that the Scientologist is NOT there. NOT in present time. In fact, they are indoctrinated so thoroughly that it's considered an advanced OT power to have zero attention units in present time, ask zero questions, have zero doubts about anything one is told.

Having zero observational powers, it is understandable how Scientologists are unable to see what the other 7.4 billion people on earth can plainly see. That within Scientology there are no Clears, OTs, super powers, miracles or even the common sense to ask to see anybody do anything special.

Revelation: Whatever Scientologists believe "TR-O" does to help them BE THERE, it provably does not work. And there is a compelling case that Scientologists practicing their "zero" are not there at all, or they would easily notice that Scientology is a hoax.


- - -​

III. [ Still being researched ]: Feel free to submit the findings of your own scientific whole-track research along with your worksheets and all the meter reads plainly marked.


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Karen#1

Well-known member
<snip>

Having zero observational powers, it is understandable how Scientologists are unable to see what the other 7.4 billion people on earth can plainly see. That within Scientology there are no Clears, OTs, super powers, miracles or even the common sense to ask to see anybody do anything special."""
[/QUOTE]

Or that people do NOT want their phone calls and spam
Laura Ann Tull made this video.
Get through the first 2 mins and then it starts


Laura says ::::
This is a call I made to Scientology. I left a voice mail. I know that making a recording of someone is illegal in California. However this is me recording leaving a voice mail of my own voice at the CENTER after getting a letter in the mail to have them help me get a job. I am an actor. I love acting. I do not want their help to get a job. I wanted to meet cool people and make friends. I do not believe life is some SICK GAME. People are not toys in a game.

Scroll past 1st 2 mins then it REALLY starts...it has a lot of ENERGY

 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

The previous post reminded me of something that is quite bizarre about the "Church" of Scientology.

During phone conversations with staff members it was considered normal for them to say, some version of this:

"We should not be having this conversation on telephone lines"
-or-
"We should put this com on other lines"


A normal human would wonder why a "religion" would be terrified for its "ministers" to speak to a "parishioner" on the telephone.

It is extremely likely that the only other religion in the history of the world that was likewise terrified for its clergy to speak to the faithful over phone lines---is radical Islam. Their reason is understandable since conspiracy to commit terrorist acts is a very serious felony that carries long prison sentences.

So, why are Scientologists afraid of saying on a phone what they are quite happy to say in private? Where does this paranoia that their phone lines are being tapped come from? And even if their phones ARE being tapped, what kind of illegal things are they doing that they sometimes just STOP certain topics of conversation. Hmmmm, those must be very spiritual matters indeed, lol.

They must have a very strong religious belief about telephones, because for sure the self-professed "world's most ethical people" would never do anything unethical, right?

PRO TIP: Don't ask Scientologists why they cannot talk on a telephone like other religions. If you use what they taught you (TR-4, 'How to get your questions answered') on them, you will be stalked, lied to, tricked, attacked and destroyed, based on their FAIR GAME policies. Don't worry, they can scientifically clay demo for you why it's not terrorism.

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Operating DB

3 feet behind my butt
.


Training Routine Zero (TR-0)
This is the drill to ensure that the Scientologist is...present. They call it "present time". TR zero literally gives a Scientologist the newfound ability to "Be There". New inductees and veteran Scientologists alike assume the "zero" refers to this being the first drill. While there may be some truth to that, there is an equal and opposite meaning to that word. Because all Hubbard's training is dedicated ensuring that the Scientologist is NOT there. NOT in present time. In fact, they are indoctrinated so thoroughly that it's considered an advanced OT power to have zero attention units in present time, ask zero questions, have zero doubts about anything one is told.

Having zero observational powers, it is understandable how Scientologists are unable to see what the other 7.4 billion people on earth can plainly see. That within Scientology there are no Clears, OTs, super powers, miracles or even the common sense to ask to see anybody do anything special.

Revelation: Whatever Scientologists believe "TR-O" does to help them BE THERE, it provably does not work. And there is a compelling case that Scientologists practicing their "zero" are not there at all, or they would easily notice that Scientology is a hoax.


- - -​

III. [ Still being researched ]: Feel free to submit the findings of your own scientific whole-track research along with your worksheets and all the meter reads plainly marked.


.
Are you saying that doing TR Zero reduces a person down to a zero?
 

TrevAnon

Big list researcher
However, if COB does contract some fatal disease and suddenly disappears, I want to do the final edit of the video of the worldwide event where senior management briefs shocked & shaken Scientologists that he has dropped the body.

I think that my cinematic and editing skills could help to effectively convey the solemnity of the moment when they r-factor believers that Dave shed his impediment because it would hold him back from researching the advanced OT levels for all of us.
You did this one too? :D

 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
You did this one too? :D

LOL, no I can't take credit for that one.

In fact I wasn't even in attendance at that live event, even though I received countless phone messages that there was a "mandatory" event. It's something about the term "mandatory" when compared to the terms "Self-Determism" & "Total Freedom".

I heard about the event later. I also heard (later) a never ending stream of voice mail messages about very important intergalactic beings that were coming to my city and wanted to speak personally to me. I didn't go to any of those events either---even though the "FLAG CAPTAIN" was in town or the "FLAG SENIOR C/S" was visiting the local org. Normally, if a Scientologist hears that a "captain" is demanding to see them, they drop what they are doing and rush over. "What could it be?!" they excitedly wonder, perhaps imagining that the captain has personally flown in to hand them a jumbo humanitarian medallion.

So, maybe I should have gone in case they were elevating my status and/or at least giving me a lapel pin or something. I chose the Road (To Total Freedom), less traveled. The one where deluded culties in fake naval costumed didn't keep barking orders at me and threatening me to never dare use any of the "total freedom" I paid for.

That's the gimmick in Scientology. You can HAVE "total freedom", you just can't USE it.

ps: I'd like to think I could have crafted a better "BIG LIE" than the one used at the "HEY RON IS SO OT HE'S DEAD" event. But, honestly, how much better does it have to be if Scientologist have a huge win and stand and applaud when the greatest OT in the universe unexpectedly drops dead? I guess that only proves why Scientologists are "always winning"---because they can have win's on ANYTHING at all as long as someone tells them it's a miracle using a really certain tone of voice. Ergo, Scientologists sending their "OT WINS" into Advance! magazine about miraculously finding a parking space. This explains why homo sapiens is forced to use public transportation & uber, on this planet.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Are you saying that doing TR Zero reduces a person down to a zero?
.
I don't want to sabotage your eternity by giving you "verbal data", so I'll answer that in the standard way, by referring you to Source.

What do your materials state?

"The purpose of TR-0 is to be there and do nothing" -LRH
That also happens to be the purpose of Clear and the purpose of OT levels.

This explains why when you ask a Clear/OT if they can show you one of their miraculous powers, they just look at you and do nothing.

:hattip:

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Type4_PTS

Well-known member
.

The previous post reminded me of something that is quite bizarre about the "Church" of Scientology.

During phone conversations with staff members it was considered normal for them to say, some version of this:

"We should not be having this conversation on telephone lines"
-or-
"We should put this com on other lines"


A normal human would wonder why a "religion" would be terrified for its "ministers" to speak to a "parishioner" on the telephone.

It is extremely likely that the only other religion in the history of the world that was likewise terrified for its clergy to speak to the faithful over phone lines---is radical Islam. Their reason is understandable since conspiracy to commit terrorist acts is a very serious felony that carries long prison sentences.

So, why are Scientologists afraid of saying on a phone what they are quite happy to say in private? Where does this paranoia that their phone lines are being tapped come from? And even if their phones ARE being tapped, what kind of illegal things are they doing that they sometimes just STOP certain topics of conversation. Hmmmm, those must be very spiritual matters indeed, lol.

They must have a very strong religious belief about telephones, because for sure the self-professed "world's most ethical people" would never do anything unethical, right?

PRO TIP: Don't ask Scientologists why they cannot talk on a telephone like other religions. If you use what they taught you (TR-4, 'How to get your questions answered') on them, you will be stalked, lied to, tricked, attacked and destroyed, based on their FAIR GAME policies. Don't worry, they can scientifically clay demo for you why it's not terrorism.

.
The issue that Scientologists have with phone calls actually came up during the Monique Rathbun court case when Warren McShane was being questioned during a deposition. McShane said of David Miscavige:
“He doesn’t use the phone … because phone calls, per our scripture, are not a standard form of communication. Like [church founder L. Ron Hubbard says, phones are psychotic. They have no memory, so we don’t use them very often.”

 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
The issue that Scientologists have with phone calls actually came up during the Monique Rathbun court case when Warren McShane was being questioned during a deposition. McShane said of David Miscavige:
“He doesn’t use the phone … because phone calls, per our scripture, are not a standard form of communication. Like [church founder L. Ron Hubbard says, phones are psychotic. They have no memory, so we don’t use them very often.”
.

"Our guru warned us that telephones are psychotic!"

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

Yeah, that would be a logical and normal-sounding thing to say in a court of law. . .

if one was trying to enter an "innocent by reason of insanity" plea.

(them folks is sooooo crazy inside that cult bubble!)

.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
...when Warren McShane was being questioned during a deposition. McShane said of David Miscavige:
“He doesn’t use the phone … because phone calls, per our scripture, are not a standard form of communication.....L Ron Hubbard says, phones are psychotic. They have no memory, so we don’t use them very often.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That testimony given under penalty of perjury is such a densely packed cluster of lies, where does one even begin?

"Miscavige doesn't use the phone...": There are 5 billion people on Earth who own and use a mobile phone; even more when considering that multitudes still use conventional landlines. The only wealthy/powerful individuals in the world who refuse to use phones are mafia bosses and other criminals who are terrified of self-incrimination while under surveillance.

"Phone calls, per our scripture, are not a standard form of communication...": Really? Then why since 1950 has Hubbard and Miscavige continuously ORDERED & DEMANDED that Scientology staff members use phones to stalk people for donations 24/7, harrass people with phone calls around the clock to buy "Basic Book Packages" and relentlessly badger people with non-stop phone calls to to inform them of events and to "confirm" their attendance.

"...phones are psychotic. They have no memory, so we don’t use them very often.”: If that is true then all Scientology "Clears" are also psychotic. Because they have no memory of the definition of a "Clear" from Dianetics The Modern Science of Mental Health---which states that "Clears" have perfect memory. When they attest to being "Clear" they literally have "no memory" of scripture---so that makes them "psychotic", right?

CULT CURIOSITY: Why would the elite Scientologist being deposed also (like a phone) become "psychotic" if they were asked this simple follow-up question? "Mr. McShane, you state that your religion is not allowed to use modern devices that don't have memory because they are psychotic. Yet you drove an automobile to this deposition today and a car has no memory. You just used the microwave a few minutes ago to re-heat your coffee and the microwave has no memory. You used a no-memory calculator an hour ago before you testified that there are 20 million Scientologists. You testified that every morning you have breakfast with Mr. Miscavige and you had your personal chef prepare your food with no-memory stoves, no-memory ovens, no-memory blenders, no-memory coffee grinders, no-memory espresso machines, no-memory refrigerators---and when you and Mr. Miscavige fly around the world you do so on no-memory airplanes, ride around in no-memory limousines. Why do you use all those "non-standard" and "psychotic" devices? Even more importantly, you and Mr. Miscavige and all the other 20 million Scientologists religiously use another no-memory device every single day, so is it your testimony that the e-meter is also psychotic?"

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
Excerpt from the book "Cult Lying For Dummies":

L. Ron Hubbard, David Miscavige and other cult members all swear they don't use modern devices like telephones because they have DON'T have memory.​
That's not the reason. . .​
They don't use phones precisely for the opposite reason---because the phone psychosis was solved long ago and they DO have memory--like the tape recorders used to gather incriminating evidence during surveillance by law enforcement.​

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Oat Tea Ate

Well-known member
Here is what a Scientologist posted on social media about doing their Admin Scale to find a 2-D.
(((WARNING)))) If this does not turn you on...nothing will. :cuckoo:
Name and dates were removed to protect the innocent and the brain washed.
It just belongs on the Stupid Thread.

Hi All!
I wanted to share my successful actions for dating: After many years I realized 2 weeks ago that I never finished creating my Admin Scale to find and maintain a great 2D.
On xxxx, I created one) and have since tweaked the following stats:
My weekly target: One 2D coffee date weekly
which takes:
20 outflows a week which results in 12 responses,
which results in 5 exchanges
which results in 2-3 possibles
and usually 1 coffee meeting weekly
I have found it's best to schedule two coffee meetings a week to ensure one occurs.
Prior to meeting I will usually have a phone com of less than 30 minutes (occasionally longer) and if the person seems at all reasonable I suggest we meet for coffee.
It took about 3 coffee dates to find anyone I would go out with a second time. But the 3rd date was VERY nice and will probably evolve as we continue to do our Non-E.
Another note on Non-E: Almost every business or personal upset I have had was the result of not doing a full Non-E in the beginning (or being given false data). But it really is up to us to discern the tone level and see that what they say they need and want is truly what they are looking for by their actions.
In any case, hope this was helpful.
 

Chuck J.

Ambassador Plenipotentiary from Bupwupistan
Here is what a Scientologist posted on social media about doing their Admin Scale to find a 2-D.
(((WARNING)))) If this does not turn you on...nothing will. :cuckoo:
Name and dates were removed to protect the innocent and the brain washed.
It just belongs on the Stupid Thread.

Hi All!
I wanted to share my successful actions for dating: After many years I realized 2 weeks ago that I never finished creating my Admin Scale to find and maintain a great 2D.
On xxxx, I created one) and have since tweaked the following stats:
My weekly target: One 2D coffee date weekly
which takes:
20 outflows a week which results in 12 responses,
which results in 5 exchanges
which results in 2-3 possibles
and usually 1 coffee meeting weekly
I have found it's best to schedule two coffee meetings a week to ensure one occurs.
Prior to meeting I will usually have a phone com of less than 30 minutes (occasionally longer) and if the person seems at all reasonable I suggest we meet for coffee.
It took about 3 coffee dates to find anyone I would go out with a second time. But the 3rd date was VERY nice and will probably evolve as we continue to do our Non-E.
Another note on Non-E: Almost every business or personal upset I have had was the result of not doing a full Non-E in the beginning (or being given false data). But it really is up to us to discern the tone level and see that what they say they need and want is truly what they are looking for by their actions.
In any case, hope this was helpful.
That's very, uh..... analytical.
Cuz as we all know women are analytical creatures especially when it comes to romance, sex, etc.
:LOL:



Ladies, please don't get upset with me. Just making a funny.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
That's very, uh..... analytical.
Cuz as we all know women are analytical creatures especially when it comes to romance, sex, etc.
:LOL:

Ladies, please don't get upset with me. Just making a funny.

Your analysis is a bullseye. Once a friend of mind (young very beautiful actress and newbie Scientologist) was asked on date by a creative artist dude (on the Bridge since birth) that was in the family of a fairly well known Scn celeb.

She told me of their very first date, which she was hoping was going to be tres romantique!

However, when they sat down for dinner at the restaurant, she was repelled when he suddenly took out the INTRODUCTION TO ETHICS book--so they "...can do our conditions together on the 2D". [TRUE STORY!]

That is so beyond cringey, I still feel like storming into that org, finding that guy and demanding that he "...IMMEDIATELY GIVE ME THAT FUCKING ETHICS BOOK AND I MEAN NOWWWWWWWW_--DON'T FUCK WITH ME I HAVE PTSD AND COULD GO 'NAM' ANY SECOND!!!

Then while staff are calling 911, I'd retrieve that book from his trembling hands and pour gasoline on it and toss a match, all that while my boom box plays Hendrix's Star Bangled Banner and the entire book As-Ises itself in a wall of fire. Then I'd go really close to his face and menacingly growl: "Don't ever take a Scientology book on a first date, you got that pal!????!!!!"

After he mumbled "Okay", I would naturally give him a tone 40 "THANK YOU!" and march out of the org as I glared at terrified students and snarled "..and someone mark my fucking student graph for finishing that book!"

Yeah, so that's what I would really do.

lol
 
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Enthetan

Veteran of the Psychic Wars
Guillame and Marc were were sharing a room in the "Lodges" cabana like rooms near MCI at the time and were constantly accused of being gay by Miscavige in an effort to humiliate them.
For a long time, I've noticed Miscavige's intense interest regarding the idea of somebody being a closet gay.
 

Type4_PTS

Well-known member
.
<snip>

"...phones are psychotic. They have no memory, so we don’t use them very often.”
: If that is true then all Scientology "Clears" are also psychotic. Because they have no memory of the definition of a "Clear" from Dianetics The Modern Science of Mental Health---which states that "Clears" have perfect memory. When they attest to being "Clear" they literally have "no memory" of scripture---so that makes them "psychotic", right?

<snip>
I wish I remembered that HCO PL about "phones are psychotic" back when I was on staff at Boston Org and exec's would come around demanding staff do all-hands call-in before events. :D

OK, just kidding there. Most execs had some awareness of the Hubbard Law of Commotion and got pretty damn good at finding a policy that backed them up on pretty much anything they wanted their juniors to get done. And if they couldn't find a policy they could always point out that 'purpose' is higher than 'policy' on the admin scale, thereby negating the need to find a specific policy countering your policy.

By the time I left Scientology I got very good quoting relevant policies to back me up when writing Knowledge Reports or a Query of Order. But one day some CMO INT Missionaires tried to rip me out of the Org I was in and they couldn't care less that I filed a legal query of their order (as per LRH policy), sending it uplines to a handful of Int execs. They didn't want to wait until I got a response back on my query, but expected me to come with them immediately. Even when I received a fax from WDC SMI (as I was in the SMI network) effectively blocking any personnel move out of the SMI network without WDC approval, the missionaires STILL didn't care. They didn't care about policy, the command channels, or anything other than my following their order, which I refused to do, and that led to my being RPF'ed. But it also helped wake me up about the true nature of the organization I had been a part of.
 
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Oat Tea Ate

Well-known member
That's very, uh..... analytical.
Cuz as we all know women are analytical creatures especially when it comes to romance, sex, etc.
:LOL:



Ladies, please don't get upset with me. Just making a funny.
Come on Chuck, we know you were choking the ole chicken to that Admin Scale...so just admit it.
 

Oat Tea Ate

Well-known member
Here is what a Scientologist posted on social media about doing their Admin Scale to find a 2-D.
(((WARNING)))) If this does not turn you on...nothing will. :cuckoo:
Name and dates were removed to protect the innocent and the brain washed.
It just belongs on the Stupid Thread.

Hi All!
I wanted to share my successful actions for dating: After many years I realized 2 weeks ago that I never finished creating my Admin Scale to find and maintain a great 2D.
On xxxx, I created one) and have since tweaked the following stats:
My weekly target: One 2D coffee date weekly
which takes:
20 outflows a week which results in 12 responses,
which results in 5 exchanges
which results in 2-3 possibles
and usually 1 coffee meeting weekly
I have found it's best to schedule two coffee meetings a week to ensure one occurs.
Prior to meeting I will usually have a phone com of less than 30 minutes (occasionally longer) and if the person seems at all reasonable I suggest we meet for coffee.
It took about 3 coffee dates to find anyone I would go out with a second time. But the 3rd date was VERY nice and will probably evolve as we continue to do our Non-E.
Another note on Non-E: Almost every business or personal upset I have had was the result of not doing a full Non-E in the beginning (or being given false data). But it really is up to us to discern the tone level and see that what they say they need and want is truly what they are looking for by their actions.
In any case, hope this was helpful.
My weekly target:
One 2D coffee date weekly
which takes:
20 outflows a week which results in 12 responses,
which results in 5 exchanges
which results in 2-3 possibles
and usually 1 coffee meeting weekly


I think with that crazy schedule, he/she pretty much went through the entire Scientology population of singles in a just a few weeks. He/she will just have to wait for some more of that there expansion if he/she is to ever find themselves a 2-D. It could possibly take another 76 trillion years.
 
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