TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

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posted by Karen#1 (from another thread discussing why people get trapped in Scientology):

~~ its not a one reason WHY. It is a COMBO (combination) of reasons:

​
- All one's friends all one's connections are in. Scn'ists cluster with other Scn'ists and sort of move away from the outside world. Ending it is losing all one's friends and family and DISCONNECTION is fast and furious.​
​
- One has stuck beliefs that things will get better, things will improve.​
​
- One has the brainwashed belief that it is the ONLY way to gain your ETERNITY and IMMORTALITY.​
​
- One has a WANTS HANDLED in auditing that has not as yet been handled but a fixed idea "Scn will handle that...eventually"​
​
- One feels that all the bad one suffers is from own CRIMES and misdeeds and one should continuously look for the evil within.​

etc...can you think of more ?

- - - - - - ​

Outstanding list!

It occurred while reading it that there are in fact three (3) very similar but different cult "creeds".

1. The published CREED OF THE CURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY.​
2. The translated CREED OF THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY.​
3. The un-published CREED OF A SCIENTOLOGIST​

Thus, I guess we probably should break it down in several parts.

END OF PART I (to be continued) ​
 
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1. The published CREED OF THE CURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY.
2. The translated CREED OF THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY.
3. The un-published CREED OF A SCIENTOLOGIST



THE CREED OF THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY​
We of the Church believe
That all men of whatever race, color or creed were created with equal rights.​
That all men have inalienable rights to their own religious practices and their performance.​
That all men have inalienable rights to their own lives.​
That all men have inalienable rights to their sanity.​
That all men have inalienable rights to their own defense.​
That all men have inalienable rights to conceive, choose, assist or support their own organizations, churches and governments.​
That all men have inalienable rights to think freely, to talk freely, to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinions of others.​
That all men have inalienable rights to the creation of their own kind.​
That the souls of men have the rights of men.​
That the study of the Mind and the healing of mentally caused ills should not be alienated from religion or condoned in nonreligious fields.​
And that no agency less than God has the power to suspend or set aside these rights, overtly or covertly.​
And we of the Church believe
That Man is basically good.​
That he is seeking to Survive.​
That his survival depends upon himself and upon his fellows and his attainment of brotherhood with the Universe.​
And we of the Church believe that the laws of God forbid Man
To destroy his own kind.​
To destroy the sanity of another.​
To destroy or enslave another’s soul.​
To destroy or reduce the survival of one’s companions or one’s group.​
And we of the Church believe
That the spirit can be saved.​
And that the spirit alone may save or heal the body.​
​


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -​


1. The published CREED OF THE CURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY.
2. The translated CREED OF THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY.
3. The un-published CREED OF A SCIENTOLOGIST
3. The un-published CREED OF A SCIENTOLOGIST

THE (TRANSLATED) CREED OF THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY​
We of the Church believe
That all men of whatever race, color or creed were created with equal rights to each other (but less than management).​
​
That all men have inalienable rights to their own religious practices and their performance as long as they're not "other practices".​
​

That all men have inalienable rights to their own lives on their own time but not on church time (which is when they aren't sleeping).​
​
That all men have inalienable rights to their sanity until we are able to help them to erase that so-called "sane" valence.​
​
That all men have inalienable rights to their own defense against the church's enemies but let's just not call it Fair Game.​
​
That all men have inalienable rights to conceive, choose, assist or support their own organizations, churches and governments but they do not have the right to make non-standard, contra-survival, suppressive decisions, which is why we often have to isolate, imprison and handle all men until they cease making psychotic reactive choices. ​
​
That all men have inalienable rights to think freely, to talk freely, to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinions of others as long as they don't spread enturbulating entheta about Scientology that might interfere with the inalienable rights of others to be constantly having super theta feelings and wins. ​
​
That all men have inalienable rights to the creation of their own kind, once having passed the clay demo of "own kind" which means creating more Scientologists. ​
​
That the souls of men have the rights of men but the souls of men (Homo Sapiens) don't have the same rights as the souls of Homo Novi. ​
​
That the study of the Mind and the healing of mentally caused ills should not be alienated from religion or condoned in nonreligious field, thus ensuring that our church's paying customers do not get alienated by us claiming to be either a religion or a science--before we find out which one they are more likely to donate money to. ​
​
And that no agency less than God has the power to suspend or set aside these rights, overtly or covertly, keeping firmly in mind that no beings except Ron and Dave have attained the condition of POWER on the 8th Dynamic. ​
​
And we of the Church believe
That Man is basically good once their evil is fully audited out and the CS says they no longer need a tech estimate. ​
​
That he is seeking to Survive by following orders and avoiding us having to declare, stalk and terrorize them with fair game. ​

That his survival depends upon himself and upon his fellows and his attainment of brotherhood with the Universe and that his survival also depends on thinking that this meaningless line in the Code wasn't just included to help avoid taxes whenever our non-profit status is under review by the IRS. ​
​
And we of the Church believe that the laws of God forbid Man
To destroy his own kind because the loss of human life sometimes results in the tragic loss of gross income if the person killed was on-lines. ​
​
To destroy the sanity of another unless its in writing like Operation Freakout and other religious missionary work.​
​
To destroy or enslave another’s soul. Man is forbidden to do that. But not those who have risen above man to OT. ​
To destroy or reduce the survival of one’s companions or one’s group but God does not forbid Scientologists from destroying or reducing the survival of one's enemies (see Fair Game). ​
​
And we of the Church believe
That the spirit can be saved but that money cannot be saved because it needs to be donated to saviors. ​
​
And that the spirit alone may save or heal the body once the spirit alone has maxed out the spirit's charge cards.​



END OF PART II: (to be continued)​
​
.​
 
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posted by Karen#1 (from another thread discussing why people get trapped in Scientology):
~~ its not a one reason WHY. It is a COMBO (combination) of reasons:

- All one's friends all one's connections are in. Scn'ists cluster with other Scn'ists and sort of move away from the outside world. Ending it is losing all one's friends and family and DISCONNECTION is fast and furious.
- One has stuck beliefs that things will get better, things will improve.
- One has the brainwashed belief that it is the ONLY way to gain your ETERNITY and IMMORTALITY.
- One has a WANTS HANDLED in auditing that has not as yet been handled but a fixed idea "Scn will handle that...eventually"
- One feels that all the bad one suffers is from own CRIMES and misdeeds and one should continuously look for the evil within.


etc...can you think of more ?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -​

Outstanding list! Let's use those excellent bullet points above in order to begin cataloguing.......

It occurred while reading it that there are in fact three (3) very similar but different cult "creeds".

1. The published CREED OF THE CURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY.
2. The translated CREED OF THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY.

3. The un-published CREED OF A SCIENTOLOGIST


We of the cult of Scientology believe that Scientologists have the inalienable right to--​
​
Have all of one's friends and connections in the cult. We further have the right to losing all one's friends and family by DISCONNECTION that is fast and furious.​
​
Maintain the stuck beliefs that things will get better and improve.​
​
Be brainwashed in the belief that Scn is the ONLY way to gain your ETERNITY and IMMORTALITY.​
​
Stay fixated on one's "WANTS HANDLED" (ruin) that never gets handled, whilst holding one's position with the fixed idea that "Scn will handle that...eventually!"​
​
Feel that all the bad one suffers is from one's own CRIMES and misdeeds and one should continuously look for the evil within.​
​
​
​
Great contribution Karen, I think there may be many more "inalienable rights" of the blinkless alien hunters!​
​
.​
 
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Chinese School. DAILY. EVERY DAY EVERY DAY
Robotically repeat THE AUDITORS CODE.
Robotically Repeat CODE OF A SCIENTOLOGIST
Robotically Repeat 15 Manifestations of a Missed Withold


THE CODE OF A SCIENTOLOGIST
Chinese.school.jpg

The Code of a Scientologist was first issued in 1954. In this code, L. Ron Hubbard provides a Scientologist with guidelines for fighting for human rights and justice through social reform. It is a vital code for any Scientologist active in the community. The code was revised in 1969 and again in 1973 and is given here in its final version.
As a Scientologist, I pledge myself to the Code of Scientology for the good of all.
1. To keep Scientologists, the public and the press accurately informed concerning Scientology, the world of mental health and society.
2. To use the best I know of Scientology to the best of my ability to help my family, friends, groups and the world.
3. To refuse to accept for processing and to refuse to accept money from any preclear or group I feel I cannot honestly help.
4. To decry and do all I can to abolish any and all abuses against life and Mankind.
5. To expose and help abolish any and all physically damaging practices in the field of mental health.
6. To help clean up and keep clean the field of mental health.
7. To bring about an atmosphere of safety and security in the field of mental health by eradicating its abuses and brutality.
8. To support true humanitarian endeavors in the fields of human rights.
9. To embrace the policy of equal justice for all.
10. To work for freedom of speech in the world.
11. To actively decry the suppression of knowledge, wisdom, philosophy or data which would help Mankind.
12. To support the freedom of religion.
13. To help Scientology orgs and groups ally themselves with public groups.
14. To teach Scientology at a level it can be understood and used by the recipients.
15. To stress the freedom to use Scientology as a philosophy in all its applications and variations in the humanities.
16. To insist upon standard and unvaried Scientology as an applied activity in ethics, processing and administration in Scientology organizations.
17. To take my share of responsibility for the impact of Scientology upon the world.
18. To increase the numbers and strength of Scientology over the world.
19. To set an example of the effectiveness and wisdom of Scientology.
20. To make this world a saner, better place.
 
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THE CODE OF A SCIENTOLOGIST
As a Scientologist, I pledge myself to the Code of Scientology for the good of all:

1. To keep Scientologists, the public and the press accurately informed concerning Scientology, the world of mental health and society.​
2. . . .​
.​
​
​

I couldn't make it past #1.

I bogged down completely when my SCIENTOLOGY ADMIN DICTIONARY had a completely different definition than all other WOG DICTIONARIES I consulted for the term "accurately informed".

Wait a second, my course supervisor just came up and handed me a pink sheet. Hang on let me see what this is all about...

Okay I'm back. It's all good, I just need to do a clay demo of:

"WHICH IS A BETTER SOURCE OF TRUTH, A 100% STANDARD DICTIONARY WRITTEN BY
THE GREATEST OT IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE OR A DEGRADED DICTIONARY
WRITTEN BY AN ABERRATED, DOWNTONE, FALSE-DATA IMPLANTED
R-6 DRAMATIZING DB TRAPPED ON THIS SLAVE PLANET?"
​

When I pass the clay demo I'll come back to post my wins.

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Does anybody besides me think he's looking more and more like someone with AIDS?

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I am not entirely sure about that.

However, if COB does contract some fatal disease and suddenly disappears, I want to do the final edit of the video of the worldwide event where senior management briefs shocked & shaken Scientologists that he has dropped the body.

I think that my cinematic and editing skills could help to effectively convey the solemnity of the moment when they r-factor believers that Dave shed his impediment because it would hold him back from researching the advanced OT levels for all of us.

That's the point in the video where I think I can help convey the appropriate gravitas by adding a laugh track.

EX-POST FACTOID: So yeah--I know for a fact I'm going to hell for posting that---so what? LOL

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Originally posted by Karen#1
What is it like to be a Dictator, a Controller, a complete and absolute Guru and authority on a flock of devotees that believe you are almost supernatural?
- snipped; click here for previous post -

1577904435093.png

- - - - - - - - -​
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Yeah, that vanity portrait qualifies as one of the stupidest moments in Scientology. I wonder if it's possible to capture the surreal stupidity of it in a caption of less than 25 words? First attempt follows (everyone, please feel free to contribute your own):

VIOLENT THUG IN FAKE MILITARY COSTUME, ADORNED WITH BATTLE
RIBBONS HE AWARDED TO HIMSELF, WINS & GRINS FROM

DEFRAUDING CREDULOUS MARKS FOR BILLIONS OF DOLLARS
​

Wait, there's a free BONUS--the equally stupid caption of what Scientologists think when they loving gaze at that dorky cult photo (and the photo within the photo):


MEDALS & MILITANTS & MISANTHROPES, OH MY!
MY MESSIAH MINGLES WITH MEST MOVIESTARS!
IT MUST MEAN MAITREYA'S MESSENGER MISCAVIGE
MAKES ME MERRY WITH MULTITUDINOUS MIRACLES!

.​
 
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Don't know where else to post this.

Bare-Faced Messiah
by Russell Miller
Kindle book $1 today on Amazon in case
you don't have a copy and would like one.

61dxKoldioL.jpg
 
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posted by ILove2Lurk
Bare-Faced Messiah by Russell Miller -
Kindle book $1 today on Amazon in case you
don't have a copy and would like one.

61dxKoldioL.jpg


- - -
​
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OSA was quite shocked by the news that such an entheta book would be discounted to only $1.00--- thus making it available to the masses.

In a brilliant counter-offensive to nullify Amazon's suppressive attack on Scientology, OSA has issued orders to all Scientologists worldwide to buy 10 copies each of the $1.00 book and then promptly destroy them before reading it. That's millions of copies!

In this way Amazon will quickly run out of copies of that Kindle book and nobody will then be able to buy or read it, ever again.

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SCIENO-SCENARIO: A wog buys a Kindle copy of BARE FACED MESSIAH from Amazon for $1.00.

A couple days later after reading it, the wog wonders if it could really be true that you can get miraculous superpowers from Scientology. The wog goes into their local Ideal Org to learn more.

REGISTRAR
Well, that's just fantastic that you want to learn more
about Mr. Hubbard's Bridge To Total Freedom.

WOG
Well, I don't know anything about a bridge, but i
would love it if I can get those OT superpowers.
Is that stuff really true?

REGISTRAR
Absolutely! Everyone who does Scientology
gets those OT superpowers.

WOG
Really? You mean I will be able to levitate things
and go out of my body to explore the entire universe
and attain the ability to muck up money?

REGISTRAR
Why yes, you will get all those powers! And by the way it's mock--
mock up money. Where did you learn about Scientology?

WOG
Oh I read the book!

REGISTRAR
Fantastic, where did you buy your copy of Dianetics?

WOG
No, I didn't read that. I read "BARE FACED MESSIAH"

REGISTRAR
OMG, you are not allowed to read that book!

WOG
Really? Not allowed by who?

REGISTRAR
I am afraid I need to send you to
ethics now because that is a suppressive
act that you read that book.

WOG
I don't know what you mean. What's wrong
with buying a book about Hubbard and reading it?

REGISTRAR
That's totally fucking reasonable!

WOG
Yeah, that's what I think too.

- - -

THE PREVIOUS CONVERSATION WAS SUDDENLY ABORTED & CUT SHORT WHEN
I REALIZED THAT IT WAS GOING TO END UP IN SOME KIND OF
ABBOT & COSTELLO "WHO'S ON 1ST" ROUTINE

OR PERHAPS "WHO'S ON 1ST DYNAMIC"...

​
 
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Originally posted by Karen#1
What is it like to be a Dictator, a Controller, a complete and absolute Guru and authority on a flock of devotees that believe you are almost supernatural?
- snipped; click here for previous post -

View attachment 1253

- - - - - - - - -​
.

Yeah, that vanity portrait qualifies as one of the stupidest moments in Scientology. I wonder if it's possible to capture the surreal stupidity of it in a caption of less than 25 words? First attempt follows (everyone, please feel free to contribute your own):

VIOLENT THUG IN FAKE MILITARY COSTUME, ADORNED WITH BATTLE
RIBBONS HE AWARDED TO HIMSELF, WINS & GRINS FROM

DEFRAUDING CREDULOUS MARKS FOR BILLIONS OF DOLLARS
​

Wait, there's a free BONUS--the equally stupid caption of what Scientologists think when they loving gaze at that dorky cult photo (and the photo within the photo):


MEDALS & MILITANTS & MISANTHROPES, OH MY!
MY MESSIAH MINGLES WITH MEST MOVIESTARS!
IT MUST MEAN MAITREYA'S MESSENGER MISCAVIGE
MAKES ME MERRY WITH MULTITUDINOUS MIRACLES!

.​

I am plotting on how to give something special to Helluva Hoax.

Something memorable for 2020 with my love.....


License.Plate.jpg

:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:
 
I am plotting on how to give something special to Helluva Hoax. Something memorable for 2020 with my love.....
View attachment 1263
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LOL - Great gift! Thanks Kool Karen for the Kooky Kosmic KSW Koolaid!

That license plate clearly belongs to a proud upper level Scientologist. . .​
​
Who is proudly telling the world that they proudly paid over $600,000 to be allowed to. . .​
​
IMAGINE TO BE OT.​
​
OT levels are very extraordinary in this regard. They are the only time in human history when​
anyone figured out a way to charge an imagination tax that others considered a win to pay.​

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Jon Lundeen the former "Commanding Officer" of ASHO had *HUGE* credit card financial irregularities and was declared Suppressive Person for this.

Huge amounts of usage of credit cards without authorization was only one of his tactics.

But in the never never land of Scientology, LOL, he was ordered to do his A to E steps in the RPF (mind control prison camp) to UN-SP himself, which he did and he is right back in the Sea Org apparently no longer being an SP !

Not only did he UN-SP himself, he was promoted to Int Finance Police at FSO.

HH please tell me, do they have high tech to Un-SP an SP ?

31.JonLundeen.Guillaume.jpg
 
So they have so rehabilitated a financial criminal who committed massive credit card fraud that he was later made to officiate over finances internationally? :dizzy:

As IF there is any justice in the Scientology world, or any real rehabilitation. What a crock of dog doo-doo.
 
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Has anyone actually been able to watch that entire video (above) of group processing? LOL

Here's a screen capture again. Despite having been in Scientology, I still find it unimaginably
difficult to remember anything this entirely and inexplicably stupid.
Can anyone explain WTF is supposed to happen?

View attachment 1159

I'll try to explain it the best I can. . .
The cloyingly ebullient minister in perfect mimicry of his cult leader Hubbard's total certainty,
chants magical commands at marks, expecting them at any moment to experience
marvelous miracles. Command after command is given but nothing is happening.
However, far from being discouraged by utter failure, the holy man sports
increasingly triumphant and knowing grins as he
repetitively barks out "WEAR A HEAD!"



So, that's Scientology. Nothing happens.
But the pitch man jubilantly reacts
as if it's obvious that everyone

just witnessed a miracle.
In used car sales
it's called the
assumptive

close.

.​



Reader's Note: In fact Hubbard required that all his "religious ministers" exhaustively train and drill on selling techniques from a book "BIG LEAGUE CLOSING TECHNIQUES" written by a used car salesman. [ "Assumptive Close" ]

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Yes, I passed similar simple Simon drills when I was in Kindergarten. The EP was Graham Crackers and milk followed with a nap.
 
View attachment 1253
​
Now that I'm a member I realized I can now see posted photos not as a thumbnail but now enlarged. I noticed in the upper right framed picture on the wall it looks like DM punched a hole in the face of the person on the left. Who is the person in the photo? Or did someone photoshop that hole in for the lulz?
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My guess is Tommy. It would fit.
 
View attachment 1253
​
Now that I'm a member I realized I can now see posted photos not as a thumbnail but now enlarged. I noticed in the upper right framed picture on the wall it looks like DM punched a hole in the face of the person on the left. Who is the person in the photo? Or did someone photoshop that hole in for the lulz?
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Hadn't noticed that hole punch. LOL!

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