Hi. I have been thinking and hoping I would have the balls to do this eventually, so here I am. I am a second-generation Scientologist, currently approaching or starting my 30s (keeping it vague ). I joined the SO and subsequently left three times. First, at the cadet org at 8, leaving the base at 13. Then, 16 until 18, and finally my one year stint at 20. Needless to say, I was not very on-purpose!
I would be glad to go into further details of this part of my life in later posts if there is interest. The purpose of my current post is, I need advice or at least a verbal kick in the butt.
Even though I did leave the Sea Org and have not really been at an Org since, my close family is comprised only of true, passionate believers. It kept my chained to the thought patterns and basic beliefs a long time. I had never, until very recently, even dared look up anything online. I heard about the shows, but you tend to keep that to yourself and try to not get further in, for fear of being found.
Then, I started reading Mike and Tony’s blog. I have always hated what happened with my life, the lack of choice I had, and always kept it to myself. I also justified this by telling myself I was probably the exception, not the rule. I had seen other young SO go in, and stay in and to this day they seem very happy. My siblings are SO members, almost 30 yrs strong each. And so, reading the stories of others who went though similar, or worse situations, it clicked. This place was hell. And I now saw it was designed to be.
So, I am now renting a room from one of those Scientologist family members, reading all this stuff I am not supposed to. And I am at a point where I don’t know if I can go through leaving for real, as I know I need to, so I can start making a real me.
I know that just posting this has its risks. If I was to finally tell my family what I truly thought, they would have to make a choice. And it would destroy my parents. And it’s hard. But I don’t think I can just “get past it” and go on quietly, as if they had done nothing wrong. Please, AITA for forcing this choice on them, knowingly?
Sorry, this is a long post, and I wrote it as I was thinking, so maybe a little incoherent? I don’t write much.
TL.DR: Is it okay to knowingly destroy your own family because of this group’s policies?
Thanks. A person wanting to leave.
(How hard is clicking that post thread button)
I would be glad to go into further details of this part of my life in later posts if there is interest. The purpose of my current post is, I need advice or at least a verbal kick in the butt.
Even though I did leave the Sea Org and have not really been at an Org since, my close family is comprised only of true, passionate believers. It kept my chained to the thought patterns and basic beliefs a long time. I had never, until very recently, even dared look up anything online. I heard about the shows, but you tend to keep that to yourself and try to not get further in, for fear of being found.
Then, I started reading Mike and Tony’s blog. I have always hated what happened with my life, the lack of choice I had, and always kept it to myself. I also justified this by telling myself I was probably the exception, not the rule. I had seen other young SO go in, and stay in and to this day they seem very happy. My siblings are SO members, almost 30 yrs strong each. And so, reading the stories of others who went though similar, or worse situations, it clicked. This place was hell. And I now saw it was designed to be.
So, I am now renting a room from one of those Scientologist family members, reading all this stuff I am not supposed to. And I am at a point where I don’t know if I can go through leaving for real, as I know I need to, so I can start making a real me.
I know that just posting this has its risks. If I was to finally tell my family what I truly thought, they would have to make a choice. And it would destroy my parents. And it’s hard. But I don’t think I can just “get past it” and go on quietly, as if they had done nothing wrong. Please, AITA for forcing this choice on them, knowingly?
Sorry, this is a long post, and I wrote it as I was thinking, so maybe a little incoherent? I don’t write much.
TL.DR: Is it okay to knowingly destroy your own family because of this group’s policies?
Thanks. A person wanting to leave.
(How hard is clicking that post thread button)