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Someone recently suggested we dust off this older post
from the 2017 archives of Scientology's Super-Stupid Moments--in order
to make planetary internet clearing a reality. The best part is that
you don't have to pay for your bridge to stupid a second time!
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"It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma!"
- Joe Pesci character from movie "JFK"
Hubbard's bizarre cult ecosystem, Scientology, is extraordinarily capable of hiding facts. In fact, the Commodore even wrote scripture that mandated the use of a "
Mystery Sandwich" technique to push his parishioners forward on the lavishly expensive conveyor belt to total freedom--by increasing the demand for an answer.
Hubbard's methodologies never answered questions, it instead
teased and tantalized the questioner to increase the demand to a fever pitch--to learn the hidden secret that explained "X". X is of course whatever the individual was currently suffering from or, lacking that, the answer to "all of Life!"
This was phenomenally successful and hundreds of millions of dollars magically appeared in hidden Swiss bank accounts.
But the diabolical genius of "mankind's greatest friend" was not satisfied to stop there--because he realized that Scientologists would eventually do whatever was required to become "qualified" to learn the secret. Even Dorothy eventually brings the "Witches Broom" back to the Wizard, right? And Scientologists pay a half-million dollars or more so that the Wizard of Cause (LRH) would grant their wish and let them return back to Home (universe).
Otherwise, if the great and powerful secret anticlimactically disappointed them, they would simply stop paying him hard cash and and blow! Therefore, L. Ron Hubbard had a new problem--"KSD" (Keeping Scientologists Donating). What to do?
HUBBARD'S BRIGHT IDEA: Hubbard devised a scheme whereby some of the secrets would be revealed (e.g. "The Wall of Fire") but only if/when there were even greater, more majestically mysterious & magical secrets yet ahead (e.g. Old OT upper levels that guaranteed full exteriorization, OT VIII's cause over subjective AND objective Matter, Energy, Space & Time, et al). In simpler terms, give up one mystery (to the mark) in order to get them hooked on far grander mysteries just ahead.
One sees this perfectly play out over the past decades where Scientology management constantly (to this day!) teases & tantalizes Scientologists with the release of OT IX and OT X. But Hubbard and guru-du-jour Miscavige know that they must never release that secret level. Well, at least not until they have figured out how to prevent all the OTs from blowing when they open/read the pack and audibly groan.
Alas, now we have (
blessedly, lol) finally arrived at the dessert of this somewhat longwinded backstory:
HUBBARD'S ULTIMATE TRICK: There is nothing there, there. He doesn't have any secrets to reveal. He never did. There are no mysteries answered. There are no OT powers. No miracles. No Clears. No OTs. No Total Freedom. No Total Cause Over Life. No nuthin.
HOW DOES THAT LONG CON PLAY OUT? I probably shouldn't reveal the answer to this mystery, right? LOL. Okay, here's how Hubbard devised the illusion. When loyal Scientologists begin to get closer and closer to the biggest secrets (OT IX, X, XI, XII, XIII....) he simply moved the goal posts.
Example: (RON SPEAKETH):
"I am so excited to release OT IX and OT X, but first we need to prepare for it, okay? I promise this small delay is necessary, folks, you'll see why in a moment. But first let me tell you how thrilled I am to finally let you attain all those supernatural powers I've been promising since 1950. You are definitely going to go exterior and travel the universe! You are definitely going to be able to levitate objects, see through matter and things far greater than you have ever dared to dream! And, did I mention IMMORTALITY! Yes, you can live forever and all your postulates will instantly give you whatever you want! Infinite wealth! Bliss Supreme! Power over others! Fame! Admiration of all beings in the universe! Well, all that happens on just OT IX, I am not even going to get into the super-miracles that you will learn about on OT X!! So, about that favor--I need you to do a little something for me and Scientology before I release OT IX and X. Just this--expand all orgs worldwide until they are the same size as Old St. Hill. Then we'll release it immediately! Promise! ML, Ron."
--And, of course, nobody can do that.
--And, of course, when they start to do that, the requirement changes to converting all orgs worldwide into "Ideal Orgs", a term for which there is absolutely no definition whatsoever! Clear your words, Scientologists! lol
--And, of course, Scientologist can then be assigned a long list of other "requirements" which they have to pay for. Like re-doing their entire Bridge or donating all their money (a quarter billion dollars) to a Super-Power building that wasn't even needed.
--And, of course, those upper OT levels can't be released until the planet is safe enough, right? Remember that OT VIII needed a ship to be "safe"? And before that, remember how OT III needed an AO to be "safe"? It seems they are not very safe--perhaps future OT levels will need to be delivered in the safest place on this planet--aboard BlueBird Motorhomes?
--So, after donating all their money on buildings, they are then required to double-donate all their money (think "borrowing") to the IAS. Because the IAS protects the planet in all ways large and small. The smaller protection steps typically involve buying COB closetfuls of $2,600 Jon Lobb shoes and $ 12,000 bespoke Brioni suits. You shouldn't ask about how designer label clothes protects the planet because that data is not released until all Ideal Orgs supersize to the size of a wholetrack org that Ron once created 184 trillion years ago (on a Tuesday afternoon, if memory serves).
--And, even if Scientologists somehow miraculously manage to do all that and Clear the Planet too---they still won't be able to enroll on those holy upper-upper OT levels until they "salvage this sector"
Now we are getting very close to the best part and the explanation for why Scientology even requires all those countless draconian ethics measures, harsh justice, declares, disconnections, RPFs, chain lockers, overboarding, stalking, imprisonment, terrorism, criminal OSA black ops, fanatical fair gaming and worse.
Because those are the "GUARDS" that Hubbard put in place to prevent paying customers from leaving the ScientologyWorld theme park.
And now, finally, the dessert--and truly brilliant observation that inspired all this:
"The strongest guard is placed at the gateway to nothing."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
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