TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

..
LINK TO DISCUSSION THREAD AND TONY ORTEGA ARTICLE

​

Looks like Dr. Hubbard's and Minister Miscavige's cult has lost another "BIG LEAGUE (CULT) CLOSING TECHNIQUES" courtroom decision. It's a "closing" technique because the cult is being closed down with worldwide media publishing their crimes and sadistically vengeful attacks on innocent victims.

See discussion thread HERE on how the California Supreme Court ruled that cult most assuredly did Fair Game the victims and witnesses in the Danny "Celebrated Serial Celebrity Rapist" Masterson case.

. . .

///​

I wonder why that graphic suddenly stopped loading.

Here it is again...

...​

 

[ILove2Lurk]

[ From Predictions Thread ]

Scientology somehow hunts down the real ILove2Lurk in Sweden and
offers to hire her to do Photoshopping on all their event photography.

After seeing the quality of her "shoops" the past 17 years on ESMB, they
realized they needed to go outside the SO to find the meticulous talent
they were looking for.

They agreed to pay her an over-the-top fee per photo.

Her stats that determine a set payout schedule of bonuses include:

• Number of celebrities or VIPs removed (Photoshopped out) from photos
• Number of audience members added to crowd sizes
• Number of empty seats filled

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ILove2Lurk taking a break from manipulating COS event photos, sitting at a local
coffee shop . . . Volca Coffee Roaster on Hantverkargatan in Stockholm, Sweden.

Spending some of her ill-gained lucre, LOL. Tips big!

​

 

[Type4_PTS]

They agreed to pay her an over-the-top fee per photo.

They need to dramatically improve their manipulation of photos, so I believe your prediction will come to pass, but I believe the compensation they agree to will look more like this:
1) Amnesty granted for countless high crimes committed while posting here on ESMB REDUX and the original ESMB.
2) 50% discount on OT IX & X.

 

[Type4_PTS]

I've got a prediction for 2027 as well. I'll add it to the predictions thread. I believe this new YouTube channel will start, and this will look like a screenshot from the first episode:

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I believe this new YouTube channel will start, and this will look like a screenshot from the first episode:

.

We now join the "MAIDEN EPISODE" of Billy's Podcast, now streaming live!

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Again, thanks for coming on my podcast. As the winner of the "Ideal Scientologist
of the Year" award for the past 19 years in a row, I'm so keyed out that I'm
in a very generous mood. So, I am going to let you ask me any
questions you want about my epic OT wins on the Bridge.

DON HUBBARD
Yeah, okay. I'd like to ask you why if you are having so many OT wins that your car
was repossessed and you lost your house to foreclosure—due to borrowing & donating
so much to your cult that you had to declare bankruptcy. Doesn't it worry you that
after donating millions you are now living in an abandoned van down by the river?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Not at all. I never get enturbulated about MEST money because I have Ron's miraculous
money technology which guarantees that I will always flourish & prosper for eternity!

DON HUBBARD
Wait, doesn't it freak you out that you that you are broke and homeless and
you've been caught countless times on surveillance cameras eating
half-eaten burgers out of the dumpsters behind McDonalds?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I can assure you that I am not broke! If I ever need more MEST money on this
planet, all I have to do is sell just one of my 19 solid gold trophies that
I won for being Ideal Scientologist of the Year!

DON HUBBARD
Whuttt? Those bowling trophies are worthless. Don't you
know that they are cheap gold-plated junk?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I'll have you know sir that in a confidential VIP briefing I was r-factored that
those trophies are priceless! So, get your manners tech in and
knock off the entheta while I am sharing my OT wins!​

.

 

[Operating DB]

I got really keyed out reading the last few posts!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I got really keyed out reading the last few posts!

.
LOL

Me too! I was really keyed out of my REACTIVE MIND the last few years (after I left Scientology).

In fact, I was really keyed out of my REACTIVE MIND before I heard about Scientology.

Apparently, it appears, I only had a REACTIVE MIND while I was in Scientology.

Fascinating! No Engrams or BTs both before and after Scientology.

It must be some kind of advanced technology, wherein a being on this planet does not have
any ENGRAMS or BODY THETANS until they join Scientology.

The cult gives everyone UNLIMITED numbers of engrams and BTs for free. But they charge you
fortunes to remove them. Kind of like a rat catcher showing up at your house to do an inspection
and they release 100,000 rats—just before giving you a tech estimate.

It's one of those Zen koans or whatever or some junk, similar to: "If a tree FALLS in the forest
and nobody is there, does it make any sound?" Therefore. . .

"If an e-meter needle FALLS in the session
and no Scientologists are there, does
it mean something has charge on it?"
—Don Hubbard: Author of the best selling book "Fundamentals of Fugazi"

...​

 

[Type4_PTS]

.

"If an e-meter needle FALLS in the session
and no Scientologists are there, does
it mean something has charge on it?"
—Don Hubbard: Author of the best selling book "Fundamentals of Fugazi"

...​

I've got good news. I just got off the phone with Don, and he's releasing a special leatherbound edition of his book. He promised it would be delivered by Christmas, so it makes a great present. He's going to sign the book for the first thousand orders, so don't delay, order now!

 

[Type4_PTS]

The original edition is still available on Amazon:

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

BIZARRE THINGS HAPPEN WHEN
SCIENTOLOGISTS BEGIN TO "ITSA"
*itsa is when the knowing-how-to-know people start telling you what they know
with total certainty, starting with the words "it's a..." (example: "Wow I just
cognited why I have leukemia. It's a pre-natal engram that caused it, omg, I'm cured!"

DON HUBBARD
I have another question for you. I added up all the auditing rundowns, OT levels,
courses and donations you have done in your 43 years of being on the Bridge. It
comes to $3,503,299. And I noticed that yesterday you attested to OT VIII, so
big congratulations on that! But my question is this--did you ever attain the ability
to go EXTERIOR with full perception the way my twin brother Ron promised
everyone back in the early 1950s in all the books and bulletins?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I am happy you asked me that question. Today I paid for and secured my upper-upper
OT levels and I started my set up auditing for when they are released. To answer your
question, yes I definitely attained the ability to go exterior with full perception.
However, I have to get up to OT 17 before I can use that supernatural OT power.

DON HUBBARD
Really? Why is that?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I am glad you asked that question. It's because Ron said that the "awareness
characteristic" of OT 17 is SUPER HAVINGNESS. You see even though i have
the power to go exterior and travel the universe, my havingness won't be
high enough until I complete OT 17 for me to be able to HAVE using that
miraculous ability. Ron states that OT 17 cures the one wholetrack
thing that stops a being from being able to use their infinite powers.


DON HUBBARD
So after 43 years and $3.6 million dollars you still have low havingness?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Not exactly. You really need to go to the super-confidential VIP
briefing where they explain that Ron discovered the basic, basic,
basic, basic engram that happened to all beings in the universe
before the beginning of the time track and before the universe
even existed. It's totally incredible that he discovered that!

DON HUBBARD
. . . and Ron told you this personally?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
No, I never actually met Ron.

DON HUBBARD
I see. Then who told you that?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Um...it was my FSM, Stan Suckerman.

DON HUBBARD
Wow, Stan sure knows a lot! And Stan has so
much knowingness that he was able to tell you about
about things that happened before the beginning of time?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
He didn't simply tell me. He gave me an official r-factor. Yeah,
Stan Suckerman briefed me that he has been a really
big being down the entire time track before he
got into Scientology. He also gave me an
r-factor that he worked directly with
Ron for trillions of years!

DON HUBBARD
That's interesting! Because I am the one that
originally got Stan into Scientology. I did not know that he
had such a mindblowing OT history before Scientology
because I met him when he was working as the third
assistant french fry guy bagger at McDonalds.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I don't know about any of that, but like I say, Stan
used to work with Ron for trillions of years and
that is how he was able to get the total certainty
to r-factor me that when I do OT 17, all the
super powers that i received before from
Scientology will get activated after my
havingness is high enough to
HAVE using those powers.

..
​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..


PART II: BIZARRE THINGS HAPPEN WHEN SCIENTOLOGISTS BEGIN TO "ITSA"

DON HUBBARD
Billy, I don't get it. How is is possible that my twin brother Ron
discovered the basic, basic, basic, basic engram that happened
to all beings in the universe before the MEST universe and time
even existed. Isn't an "engram" a physical universe phenomena?
Didn't Hubbard say that an engram is a mental image picture that
has pain and unconscious and physical universe "charge" on it?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well......um.....yes of course an engram is a physical universe
phenomena. We can prove that because it registers on
an e-meter. So that proves that engrams existed
before there was any universe or MEST
or even e-meters...or even before
thetans existed!

DON HUBBARD
Wait a minute! If there were no thetans, how
could they all simultaneously get an engram?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Uhhhh.....well.....for sure they all got an engram,
because that's Ron's incredible discovery! It's just that
thetans didn't realize they had an engram until trillions
of years later when the physical world was created
and Ron invented Dianetics books and e-meters.

DON HUBBARD
Dude! The non-existent thetans got engrams?
Before the universe existed? Before time began?
What are you talking about?! How can someone
get an engram before they even existed? And then
nobody knows anything about any of this until
a broke, pathologically lying con man writes a hoax
"modern science" book that guarantees it has the
cure for all mental illness and physiological
diseases? And nobody knows anything
about these non-existent thetans
getting non-existent engrams
for 776 quadrillion years?
How is that even possible?!

BILLY BLOWDOWN
(thinks, then suddenly brightens up and blinklessly responds)
Itsa com lag.


..
​

 

[ILove2Lurk]

We now join the "MAIDEN EPISODE" of Billy's Podcast, now streaming live!

~
"Just blown away listening to this podcast! Possibly, the best ever event on ESMB.
We're finally hearing the truth about things and I'm getting all the questions I've
had answered by someone who would know and does know. Bravo, gentlemen."




~
~
"Life is good with a good podcast
to take on the road! Nothing like it."



​

 

[ILove2Lurk]

~

ILove2Lurk is currently taping podcasts with some of the more
historic and notorious Sea Org executives from scientology's
ignoble past in an attempt to unravel what really went down.

​

Sneak Peek
Just a few of the questions from the two-hour Ray M episode:

• Did you talk to Ron Hubbard on his death bed?
• Is it true you forgot his final words about what OT8 should consist of?
• Who authored the current versions of OT8?
• How many different versions did you author before you came up with one church members
  were happy with and would buy off on?
• Do you have any regrets about doing something like that? Sorta out tech, isn't it?
• Did Hubbard use standard tech on himself in sessions?
• Did he simply do stream of consciousness thinking and writing?
• Have you read all of his folders? What's your honest take?
• Do OT 9 &10 exist? How about OT 11-15? Who's gonna invent them and write them up? When?
• When did you stop being Senior CS Int? Where did you run off to?
• Do you believe in the tech anymore?
• How was Hubbard able to fool so many people for so long in your opinion?
• Do you know the story behind Marty Rathbun's "heel turn" and any financial payoffs?

​

Sneak Peek
Just a few of the questions from the 90-minute Pat B episode:

• How did you lose your Loyal Officer designation and position as the true heir to Hubbard's intellectual properties?
• How did the "Miscavige screw job" actually happen?
• Did he blackmail you over something? What?
• How did Hubbard act on the ranch? Did he actually go berserk in the 80's and scream out in the night?
• Did he really die of multiple strokes over a week's time?
• Did you ever have the OT 9&10 papers and research notes in your possession?
• Do you still believe in any of the tech?
• Where did you run off to after the screw job?
• Why did you stay silent and incommunicado for so long?
• Why didn't you come forward and clear the air, tell all the public the truth rather
  than stay silent and let them be fooled and ruined financially for decades?
• Do you have an regrets about what you did or didn't do?
• What are you up to nowadays? Are you still in hiding? Do you still wear disguises in public?.. []

Many more surprise guests to come!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

~

ILove2Lurk is currently taping podcasts with some of the more
historic and notorious Sea Org executives from scientology's
ignoble past in an attempt to unravel what really went down.

View attachment 30452​

Sneak Peek
Just a few of the questions from the two-hour Ray M episode:

• Did you talk to Ron Hubbard on his death bed?
• Is it true you forgot his final words about what OT8 should consist of?
• Who authored the current versions of OT8?
• How many different versions did you author before you came up with one church members
  were happy with and would buy off on?
• Do you have any regrets about doing something like that? Sorta out tech, isn't it?
• Did Hubbard use standard tech on himself in sessions?
• Did he simply do stream of consciousness thinking and writing?
• Have you read all of his folders? What's your honest take?
• Do OT 9 &10 exist? How about OT 11-15? Who's gonna invent them and write them up? When?
• When did you stop being Senior CS Int? Where did you run off to?
• Do you believe in the tech anymore?
• How was Hubbard able to fool so many people for so long in your opinion?
• Do you know the story behind Marty Rathbun's "heel turn" and any financial payoffs?

View attachment 30453​

Sneak Peek
Just a few of the questions from the 90-minute Pat B episode:

• How did you lose your Loyal Officer designation and position as the true heir to Hubbard's intellectual properties?
• How did the "Miscavige screw job" actually happen?
• Did he blackmail you over something? What?
• How did Hubbard act on the ranch? Did he actually go berserk in the 80's and scream out in the night?
• Did he really die of multiple strokes over a week's time?
• Did you ever have the OT 9&10 papers and research notes in your possession?
• Do you still believe in any of the tech?
• Where did you run off to after the screw job?
• Why did you stay silent and incommunicado for so long?
• Why didn't you come forward and clear the air, tell all the public the truth rather
  than stay silent and let them be fooled and ruined financially for decades?
• Do you have an regrets about what you did or didn't do?
• What are you up to nowadays? Are you still in hiding? Do you still wear disguises in public?.. []

Many more surprise guests to come!

..

Mon Dieu, c'est magnifique!​

​

​

.​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..
I was so curious about the first question you asked senior tech terminal Ray Mittoff. . .

So, I asked Don Hubbard: "SO, DID YOU TALK TO RON HUBBARD ON HIS DEATH BED?"

Don Replied. . .
"Well, we did not dare call it a 'death bed', because that always pissed off
my brother Ron when he heard that term. Ron wanted us to call it:
"A SUPER-UPTONE TRANSITIONAL ENCUMBRANCE-SHEDDING DEVICE"​

..

 

[Type4_PTS]

Many more surprise guests to come!

I'd be interested in seeing an interview with Diana Hubbard.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I'd be interested in seeing an interview with Diana Hubbard.

Hell-Yeah! LOL.

I wouldn't be surprised if that interview and other ancient, long-buried filmed interviews with other Scientology luminaries started to surface. The one I am most excited to see is a super-grainy old 16 millimeter film footage of Marty Sue Hubbard packing a small suitcase of personal belongings on the day when she was being taken to federal prison.

Decades ago Don Hubbard shared with me some outtakes that he secretly kept when he worked on editing that footage. Like the part where Mary Sue accompanies herself when she took the fall for Ron and was convicted of federal crimes. That's when she sent a filmed farewell message before being handcuffed and imprisoned. She picked up her acoustic guitar and then sang a rousing cover of the country-song classic (aptly re-titled):

"STAND BY YOUR MAN HOMO NOVIS"

..​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

cross-posted from another thread
discussing the person that is arguably the
#1 MOST UPSTAT PHILANTHROPIC OT DONOR
in the entire 76 year history of Scientology.

#1 TRISH DUGGAN?
#2 BOB DUGGAN?
#3 TOM CRUISE?

. . .​

With all their many billions (in the bank) and with a half-billion more donated to the Church Of Scientology, couldn't someone in the church have broken the policy of "free service free fall" just a little—and given the Duggans a FREE copy of the book "How To Save Your Marriage"?

...

Or did they already have many copies of that book in all their mansions when they got divorced?
It's just. . . odd! Didn't Ron guarantee that his technology works 100% of the time?


The only other question I have today is—
what the hell happened to Trish Duggan?!

BEST GUESS
She was going to a Scientology doctor to receive forever-young
stem cell therapy, and although the doctor was an OT VIII, he had a
crashing MU and was (instead) injecting her eye areas with Chinese DNA.


...​

 

[I M Dex]

.

cross-posted from another thread
discussing the person that is arguably the
#1 MOST UPSTAT PHILANTHROPIC OT DONOR
in the entire 76 year history of Scientology.

#1 TRISH DUGGAN?
#2 BOB DUGGAN?
#3 TOM CRUISE?

. . .​

With all their many billions (in the bank) and with a half-billion more donated to the Church Of Scientology, couldn't someone in the church have broken the policy of "free service free fall" just a little—and given the Duggans a FREE copy of the book "How To Save Your Marriage"?

...

Or did they already have many copies of that book in all their mansions when they got divorced?
It's just. . . odd! Didn't Ron guarantee that his technology works 100% of the time?


The only other question I have today is—
what the hell happened to Trish Duggan?!

BEST GUESS
She was going to a Scientology doctor to receive forever-young
stem cell therapy, and although the doctor was an OT VIII, he had a
crashing MU and was (instead) injecting her eye areas with Chinese DNA.


...​

The real problem here is that some SP on the lines edited out Hubbard's full title of the book, soon to be released in fully restored form and heavily pushed for everyone to buy a box load to distribute: "How to Save Your Marriage From Succeeding". Its based on his own life.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

PART II:

TRISH DUGGAN
Planet Clearer Extraordinaire
Senior Sector Salvager

* * * OVER A HALF BILLION DUGGAN DOLLARS DONATED * * *
​

One can therefore quite easily see why Scientologists all around this planet are doing admin scales, workshops and training actions to discover Trish's SECRET SUCCESSFUL ACTIONS that she engaged in order to become so spectacularly UPSTAT on flowing money uplines to power!

With so many IAS member defections and the huge number of blown celebrities, Scientologists very desperately need to groom and grow the next wave of copiously charitable dollar donors like Trish Duggan!

Scientology has just this week unleashed an international marketing campaign where:

• Registrars and FSMs alike are being provided billions of "I WANNA BE LIKE TRISH" buttons to hand out freely to all public Scientologists in good standing.
• Upon acceptance of the tone 40 theta button, the awarding party must then loudly command everyone in the org: "THAT'S IT, WE HAVE ANOTHER DULY DESIGNATED DOLLAR DONOR THAT WANTS TO BE LIKE TRISH!
• After the announcement, when the cheers and applause dies down, the button wearing party must then be routed onto the HSIWTBABLT course. ("Hubbard Standard I Want To Be A Billionaire Like Trish" course)
• Thereafter, in order to graduate the course and receive a genuine gold plated Duggan Devotee lapel pin, the student must dedicate themselves to why finding until they find their personal WHY that they have not become as upstat as Trish. And once these disgraceful character flaws are admitted, they must write a 25 page essay on their strategic plan to knock out of existence all of the dilettante and low toned evil purposes that must be handled on their case in order to become a power donor like Trish.

PARADOX: There will not be even one (1) Scientologist in the entire world that will be capable of finding their own "WHY" that they can't be a billionaire OT donor like Trish. Because it would be a high crime for a Scientologist to cognite that Trish's "successful action" has absolutely zero to do with Ron's tech or the Bridge. In order to "be like Trish" they would have to follow her successful action of finding and marrying someone who has a business idea that is likely to GO PUBLIC at some point decades later.

"Trish is transforming the world of glass art and
shaping our future through imagination"
(Yeah, same exact problem as the cult. Nobody
asked her to shape our future and
we don't want to imagine
fake magical OT powers
after paying a million
dollars for same!)
​

.
MY AFTER-PARTY AFTER-COG: It's actually kind of hilarious that Scientologists think Trish Duggan is a prime example of the OT tech working....when her extraordinary wealth has nothing to do with whether the tech works or not. Unless the "tech" is finding rich people and connecting to them. Actually that is precisely what L. Ron Hubbard's and David Miscavige's "successful action" is as well. They also connected to Scientologists with money to burn and hoaxed them all dry. Try to imagine, if it's even possible, that Scientologists actually think that Trish's vast wealth is because she got the OT powers from Hubbard's fugazi "technology".

...