Operating DB
3 feet behind my butt
God, is he gross looking!Sally, if unsure, should know to use the Hubbardian scientific method -- and check with a tomato.....
TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)
- Thread starter HelluvaHoax!
- Start date
guanoloco
As-Wased
...don't be too quick...Sally, if unsure, should know to use the Hubbardian scientific method -- and check with a tomato.....
Plants Really Do 'Scream' Out Loud. We Just Never Heard It Until Now.
It seems like Roald Dahl may have been onto something after all: if you hurt a plant, it screams.
www.sciencealert.com
ILove2Lurk
Lisbeth Salander Redux
Readers, stop sending me PMs about how to watch this. It was simply an April Fool's gag meant for fun. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Type4_PTS
Well-known member
It would have been interesting to see if your post about this A&E special went viral if posted on Twitter and Facebook.
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
. . .
Brother Dearest is the tell-all biography that had been completed by A&E two years ago
and then it was never aired. Ads began appearing on cable TV April 1st for this two-hour
special. Should be a barnburner. Airs Tuesday 10 PM (EST) on A&E.
About the ShowThe Biography documentary “Brother Dearest” serves as the complete and definitive storyof two brothers who fought for the throne of a worldwide pseudo-religious empire. One becamethe reigning king and the other ended up living on the streets, far away from the lavish life ofroyalty. Don Hubbard, the forgotten brother, provided his most extensive on-camera interviewto-date. The narrative spine of the documentary is never-before-seen restored footage of bothbrothers in Elizabeth, Phoenix, and Washington, D.C. The most recent studio interview providesa first-hand emotional account of how Don Hubbard got cast aside and how his brother Ronascended to historical greatness, unimaginable wealth, and cultural immortality. A&E was givenunprecedented access to private letters written between the two brothers, as well as many rare,personal photos from the Hubbard family archive.
Looks good! I'm gonna check it out.
Mikael
..
Wow, Don is really looking to bank some big bucks here!
It looks like in addition to the tell-all documentary, he's dropping an incendiary book that is anticipated to debut atop the NY Times Bestseller list!
_(edited)_(edited)_(edited)_Screen_Shot_2023-04-02_at_11.50.17_PM.png)
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ILove2Lurk
Lisbeth Salander Redux
Laughing so hard! Hilarious on just so many levels . . . if you catch my drift. 
I think his definition above is incorrect.
Logos:
the Word of God, or principle of divine reason and creative order, identified in the Gospel of John with the second person of the Trinity incarnate in Jesus Christ
Definitely not a rhetorical device.
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
..
..
Hey Pepin, thanks for that post.
The following meme is not to you personally or a critique of your post.
It is only a joking courtesy reminder to not let Riddick the troll pathologically continue to derail & destroy threads and conversations that have nothing to do with "rhetoric". Threads like this one, for example, that have been a fun and happy place on ESMB for 12 years!
I think I will post the following meme any time anyone on this thread gets sucked into the black hole of Riddick's Riddickulous derailing & trolling. He wants to slime and ruin conversations and threads and I don't see any reason to let him. He contributes nothing and his parasitic behavior is intentionally disruptive and destructive of valued content by a wide range of great ESMB members.
Onward!
_FINAL_TICKET.png)
.
If helpful, ESMB members are welcome to post the above meme on other threads where Riddick is manically derailing & trolling.
...
...
..
..
Hey Pepin, thanks for that post.
The following meme is not to you personally or a critique of your post.
It is only a joking courtesy reminder to not let Riddick the troll pathologically continue to derail & destroy threads and conversations that have nothing to do with "rhetoric". Threads like this one, for example, that have been a fun and happy place on ESMB for 12 years!
I think I will post the following meme any time anyone on this thread gets sucked into the black hole of Riddick's Riddickulous derailing & trolling. He wants to slime and ruin conversations and threads and I don't see any reason to let him. He contributes nothing and his parasitic behavior is intentionally disruptive and destructive of valued content by a wide range of great ESMB members.
Onward!
If helpful, ESMB members are welcome to post the above meme on other threads where Riddick is manically derailing & trolling.
...
...
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
..
QUESTION
WHAT DO PARISHIONERS OF THE COS MOST COVET?
HINT
COS = CHURCH OF STATUSOLOGY
...
QUESTION
WHAT DO PARISHIONERS OF THE COS MOST COVET?
HINT
COS = CHURCH OF STATUSOLOGY
...
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
.
Not only did the con man Hubbard claim to be Buddha...he was
guilty of many other forms of "cultural appropriation"
THE ORIGINAL TECH FROM 2500 YEARS AGO THAT
GUARANTEED THE DEFEAT OF ONE'S ENEMIES!
HUBBARD'S APPROPRIATED VERSION OF THE ATTACK TECH
WHERE (BESIDES CLAIMING THAT OTHERS HAD MISSPELLED
HIS WHOLETRACK NAME) HE REVEALED TWO OF HIS FAVORITE
WEAPONS TO SHATTER HIS ENEMIES—RIGHT ON THE COVER!
...
guilty of many other forms of "cultural appropriation"
THE ORIGINAL TECH FROM 2500 YEARS AGO THAT
GUARANTEED THE DEFEAT OF ONE'S ENEMIES!
HUBBARD'S APPROPRIATED VERSION OF THE ATTACK TECH
WHERE (BESIDES CLAIMING THAT OTHERS HAD MISSPELLED
HIS WHOLETRACK NAME) HE REVEALED TWO OF HIS FAVORITE
WEAPONS TO SHATTER HIS ENEMIES—RIGHT ON THE COVER!
...
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
..
An ancient post was begging for a remodel. . .
..
An ancient post was begging for a remodel. . .
..
yep, you got that right. It's a ethos thing. Hubbard tried to make Sea org members and all involved get up to status...
QUESTION
WHAT DO PARISHIONERS OF THE COS MOST COVET?
HINT
COS = CHURCH OF STATUSOLOGY
...
Ethos: the distinguishing character, sentiment, moral nature, or guiding beliefs of a person, group, or institution.
I fell for it when I was involved.
What's kind of funny, even this message board has a STATUSOLOGY.
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I told you I was trouble
Suspended animation.
Snipped.
True! You should be wearing a bit of old rag on your arm and not looking at or communicating with us "upstat" people, unless invited to.
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
Snipped.
True! You should be wearing a bit of old rag on your arm and not looking at or communicating with us "upstat" people, unless invited to.
LOL!
There is good news! Riddick has recently earned a much higher status than merely being a "TROLL" who wrecks, slimes, sleazes and derails every conversation/thread by endlessly and monotonously repetitious posts about "rhetoric".
Everyone should rise and give a big round of applause to Riddick for his newly elevated status, because he was just presented with the prestigious award of "ESMB TROLL-SQUATTER OF THE DECADE" since he rigidly refuses to leave this thread.
Squatting! I guess parasites have to do such things to survive, since they have trolled to death all their own threads. LOL
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
Above the supernatural state of "CLEAR" in Scientology are the mystical and extraordinarily confidential OT levels.
A CLEAR cannot just pay for the OT levels and do them. No. He must first undergo an evaluation as to his character and contributions to Scientology before he ever allowed to go into the OT course room. It doesn't matter that the person has already "contributed" somewhere between $100,000 - $200,000 in order to go CLEAR. That's not enough of a contribution.
To get an "invitation" one must convince an invisible/unknown person high on the command channel that you are deserving to enter the holy world of OT. It's very much like God investigating your entire life (after you die) before he can decide whether to allow you into heaven, right?
Well, okay! Let's assume you have contributed greatly. In other words you got other people to join and give truckloads of money to Scientology's management. So then you would get your "invitation"! And after being indoctrinated how to keep your materials in a locked briefcase and never speak to anyone even one word about what you are about to learn--then you enter the OT I course room! Yayyy!
I am about to reveal the OT I "process" that is to be run on yourself. Before I paste the process "commands" (in Ron's own handwriting!!!) you should honestly assess if you are prepared to read this wildly top-secret advanced information. It could be incredibly restimulative, so extreme reader caution is advised!
For those who feel prepared to confront the OT I secret info, kindly advance at your own risk:
I think perhaps I did not get the full OT powers that Ron intended me to attain while I was in Scientology.
Therefore, I have decided to re-do OT I and acquire those illuminating realizations & God-like powers!
Then I flew to Los Angeles and Ubered to the Advanced Organization on L. Ron Hubbard Way!
Wow, impressive building! They have really upgraded their MEST since the time I did OT levels! I am a little embarrassed to admit it, but when i walked inside, my heart was beating fast in the expectation that I was going to learn the secrets and get the magical powers!
Now, please understand, I did not go to the AO to "route in" or to pay for anything. I was going there to run my OT I commands! What greater of a theta environment could there be for me to acquire paranormal powers!
Okay, I won't burden you by reprinting my worksheets here, because the session lasted 5 hours and 39 minutes!
Allow me to just recap the main moments of my solo auditing session:
A CLEAR cannot just pay for the OT levels and do them. No. He must first undergo an evaluation as to his character and contributions to Scientology before he ever allowed to go into the OT course room. It doesn't matter that the person has already "contributed" somewhere between $100,000 - $200,000 in order to go CLEAR. That's not enough of a contribution.
To get an "invitation" one must convince an invisible/unknown person high on the command channel that you are deserving to enter the holy world of OT. It's very much like God investigating your entire life (after you die) before he can decide whether to allow you into heaven, right?
Well, okay! Let's assume you have contributed greatly. In other words you got other people to join and give truckloads of money to Scientology's management. So then you would get your "invitation"! And after being indoctrinated how to keep your materials in a locked briefcase and never speak to anyone even one word about what you are about to learn--then you enter the OT I course room! Yayyy!
I am about to reveal the OT I "process" that is to be run on yourself. Before I paste the process "commands" (in Ron's own handwriting!!!) you should honestly assess if you are prepared to read this wildly top-secret advanced information. It could be incredibly restimulative, so extreme reader caution is advised!
For those who feel prepared to confront the OT I secret info, kindly advance at your own risk:
THE SUPER SECRET OT I COMMAND
I think perhaps I did not get the full OT powers that Ron intended me to attain while I was in Scientology.
Therefore, I have decided to re-do OT I and acquire those illuminating realizations & God-like powers!
4 DAYS LATER
Okay, I took the day off of work in order to do this.
Then I flew to Los Angeles and Ubered to the Advanced Organization on L. Ron Hubbard Way!
Wow, impressive building! They have really upgraded their MEST since the time I did OT levels! I am a little embarrassed to admit it, but when i walked inside, my heart was beating fast in the expectation that I was going to learn the secrets and get the magical powers!
Now, please understand, I did not go to the AO to "route in" or to pay for anything. I was going there to run my OT I commands! What greater of a theta environment could there be for me to acquire paranormal powers!
Okay, I won't burden you by reprinting my worksheets here, because the session lasted 5 hours and 39 minutes!
Allow me to just recap the main moments of my solo auditing session:
COMMAND #1:
"Walk around and count bodies"
Well, there were hardly any people in the AO, just a few staff members.
I kept walking around and counting the same people so the number was
not very impressive (only 4). I was, however, not discouraged so I continued
walking and counting. It got pretty exciting around 9:30 pm when a wog cleaning
crew came in to wax and polish the marble floors. Then my body count soared into
affluence and the new number was 6! At that moment I could start to feel myself
growing close to a cognition. I calmly continued walking and counting, but then
the floor guys left and I could only find 2 bodies to count. That's when I was hit
with a shatteringly brilliant and illuminating cognition! I cogged that Scientology
management had lied to me about all the huge expansion and how "clearing the
planet has now become a reality." I realized that I did not gain any magical
powers from counting bodies. Another lie from Ron. A third cognition was
that I paid a ton of money to count bodies, something that little kids do
when they are watching "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood". And yet another
lie, that I needed to show huge "contributions" in order to count bodies!
And still more cognitions--when I realized that they lied when they
told me that OT I was super confidential and I must never talk
about it with anyone on this planet. I realized that they didn't
want me telling anyone what the process was because
people would laugh at the idea of paying big bucks
to walk around and count bodies. I was very happy
to have all these major case gains, but in a way
I walked out of AOLA kind of sad--because I
would not be getting a jumbo completion
certificate or an "OT" lapel pin.
..."Walk around and count bodies"
Well, there were hardly any people in the AO, just a few staff members.
I kept walking around and counting the same people so the number was
not very impressive (only 4). I was, however, not discouraged so I continued
walking and counting. It got pretty exciting around 9:30 pm when a wog cleaning
crew came in to wax and polish the marble floors. Then my body count soared into
affluence and the new number was 6! At that moment I could start to feel myself
growing close to a cognition. I calmly continued walking and counting, but then
the floor guys left and I could only find 2 bodies to count. That's when I was hit
with a shatteringly brilliant and illuminating cognition! I cogged that Scientology
management had lied to me about all the huge expansion and how "clearing the
planet has now become a reality." I realized that I did not gain any magical
powers from counting bodies. Another lie from Ron. A third cognition was
that I paid a ton of money to count bodies, something that little kids do
when they are watching "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood". And yet another
lie, that I needed to show huge "contributions" in order to count bodies!
And still more cognitions--when I realized that they lied when they
told me that OT I was super confidential and I must never talk
about it with anyone on this planet. I realized that they didn't
want me telling anyone what the process was because
people would laugh at the idea of paying big bucks
to walk around and count bodies. I was very happy
to have all these major case gains, but in a way
I walked out of AOLA kind of sad--because I
would not be getting a jumbo completion
certificate or an "OT" lapel pin.
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
..
Why in the world would walking around and counting bodies produce a cognition?
answer:
Because the infallible Dr. Hubbard wrote it would. If there is any slightest doubt about this
in a Scientologist's mind, it is quickly erased because Source even went to the trouble of
"putting it in writing." His own personal handwriting! He additionally stated in sacred
scripture: "If it isn't written, it isn't true." Ergo if it is written...it quite obviously is true.
question:
If walking around counting bodies produces OT powers, wouldn't the most OT people
on this planet be census takers?
answer:
- - -
Poster was unavailable to answer, because moments after making the entheta "census taker" comment he was surrounded by highly ethical Sea Org members, gagged, placed in handcuffs and bum-rushed off to the "Rehabilitation Project Force". As he was dragged away, shocked eyewitnesses were hurriedly informed that a being only makes jokes because over trillions of years they have become so low-toned that "joking and degrading" is their only way of communicating. However, the good news is that they can be "rehabilitated" and recover their native OT powers to remain blinklessly humorless and 'deadly serious' (per the policy "Keeping Scientology Working").
...
Here are questions about OT I that no Scientologist can either answer or clay demo.
IF THIS IS THE OT 1 COMMAND. . .
question: IF THIS IS THE OT 1 COMMAND. . .
Why in the world would walking around and counting bodies produce a cognition?
answer:
Because the infallible Dr. Hubbard wrote it would. If there is any slightest doubt about this
in a Scientologist's mind, it is quickly erased because Source even went to the trouble of
"putting it in writing." His own personal handwriting! He additionally stated in sacred
scripture: "If it isn't written, it isn't true." Ergo if it is written...it quite obviously is true.
question:
If walking around counting bodies produces OT powers, wouldn't the most OT people
on this planet be census takers?
answer:
- - -
Poster was unavailable to answer, because moments after making the entheta "census taker" comment he was surrounded by highly ethical Sea Org members, gagged, placed in handcuffs and bum-rushed off to the "Rehabilitation Project Force". As he was dragged away, shocked eyewitnesses were hurriedly informed that a being only makes jokes because over trillions of years they have become so low-toned that "joking and degrading" is their only way of communicating. However, the good news is that they can be "rehabilitated" and recover their native OT powers to remain blinklessly humorless and 'deadly serious' (per the policy "Keeping Scientology Working").
...
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If the goal of OT1 is to help someone be 3 ft behind their head, I fail to see how counting bodies will help..
Here are questions about OT I that no Scientologist can either answer or clay demo.question:
IF THIS IS THE OT 1 COMMAND. . .
Why in the world would walking around and counting bodies produce a cognition?
answer:
Because the infallible Dr. Hubbard wrote it would. If there is any slightest doubt about this
in a Scientologist's mind, it is quickly erased because Source even went to the trouble of
"putting it in writing." His own personal handwriting! He additionally stated in sacred
scripture: "If it isn't written, it isn't true." Ergo if it is written...it quite obviously is true.
question:
If walking around counting bodies produces OT powers, wouldn't the most OT people
on this planet be census takers?
answer:
- - -
Poster was unavailable to answer, because moments after making the entheta "census taker" comment he was surrounded by highly ethical Sea Org members, gagged, placed in handcuffs and bum-rushed off to the "Rehabilitation Project Force". As he was dragged away, shocked eyewitnesses were hurriedly informed that a being only makes jokes because over trillions of years they have become so low-toned that "joking and degrading" is their only way of communicating. However, the good news is that they can be "rehabilitated" and recover their native OT powers to remain blinklessly humorous and 'deadly serious' (per the policy "Keeping Scientology Working").
...
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
. .
Talking about Hubbard's nightmarish admonition that Scientology is "deadly serious":
The entirety of Scientology is dedicated to erasing the mass of the reactive mind. Because mass makes the being "serious" and that causes them to lose at the game of life, according to these and countless other Hubbard quotes.
So! In order to win in life you have to be UNSERIOUS. But Scientology is a DEADLY SERIOUS activity.
It doesn't have to make sense. It's Scientology.
Talking about Hubbard's nightmarish admonition that Scientology is "deadly serious":
"We're not playing some minor game in Scientology. It isn't cute or something to do for lack of
something better. The whole agonized future of this planet, every man, woman and child on it,
and your own destiny for the next endless trillions of years depend on what you do here and
now with and in Scientology. This is a deadly serious activity. And if we miss getting out of the
trap now, we may never again have another chance. Remember, this is our first chance to do
so in all the endless trillions of years of the past. Don't muff it now..." —L Ron Hubbard
What a stunning example of "THE HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION"-- which states: In Scientology, for each and every code, creed, scale, policy and piece of tech
there is an equal and opposite code, creed, scale, policy and piece of tech.
At the very same time Hubbard is lecturing and issuing written directives that Scientology is a "deadly serious activity" he is simultaneously lecturing and issuing written directives such as this example of Hubbard's dire warning to NOT be serious: there is an equal and opposite code, creed, scale, policy and piece of tech.
“There’s nothing succeeds like insouciance. Plain flippancy will actually get more done in less time than anything else you can name.As we go up the tone scale and things become lighter and lighter, a person can of course become much more ethical and at the same time lots less serious. It sounds funny that a person who is very serious is liable to fall short on his ethics. As we get up the tone scale, we find that individuals are airier and lighter and actually more aesthetic. And the more serious you take the game, the less chance there is of winning. This tells you it takes lots of space, and lots of un-seriousness to win.” —L. Ron Hubbard
"Seriousness equals mass" —L. Ron Hubbard
The entirety of Scientology is dedicated to erasing the mass of the reactive mind. Because mass makes the being "serious" and that causes them to lose at the game of life, according to these and countless other Hubbard quotes.
So! In order to win in life you have to be UNSERIOUS. But Scientology is a DEADLY SERIOUS activity.
It doesn't have to make sense. It's Scientology.
.....
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
..
Well, OT I wasn't actually one of the "guaranteed processes that will exteriorize a being". There are, however, many other processes where Hubbard did guarantee the preclear would leave their body with full vision, such as the infamous "Ls" rundown that often cost more than $100,000!
Despite incessantly bragging about exteriorization, Hubbard was never able to find any auditing process that produced it.
Nor was Hubbard himself able to exteriorize. This is one of Scientology's bizarre oddities. All cult members can technically diagram exteriorization. Scientologists can accurately define the term exteriorization and give you the etymology of the word. Like Tom Cruise, they "know the history" of exteriorization. They can clay demo exteriorization. They can even give expert lectures about exteriorization! They can do ANYTHING on the subject of exteriorization. Except exteriorize.
The only certain exteriorization in Scientology where an OT "moves out of" something is the phenomena known as "blowing". LOL
..
..
Well, OT I wasn't actually one of the "guaranteed processes that will exteriorize a being". There are, however, many other processes where Hubbard did guarantee the preclear would leave their body with full vision, such as the infamous "Ls" rundown that often cost more than $100,000!
Despite incessantly bragging about exteriorization, Hubbard was never able to find any auditing process that produced it.
Nor was Hubbard himself able to exteriorize. This is one of Scientology's bizarre oddities. All cult members can technically diagram exteriorization. Scientologists can accurately define the term exteriorization and give you the etymology of the word. Like Tom Cruise, they "know the history" of exteriorization. They can clay demo exteriorization. They can even give expert lectures about exteriorization! They can do ANYTHING on the subject of exteriorization. Except exteriorize.
The only certain exteriorization in Scientology where an OT "moves out of" something is the phenomena known as "blowing". LOL
..
..
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Reyne Mayer
Pansexual Revolutionary
sorry, Hoaxie, but i gotta quibble with you here. i've run across enough accounts of people who experienced some form of it -- probably, technically dissociation, an illusionary trick of the mind and neurology -- and know myself from things like meditation that there are unusual sensations (and illusions) that can be experienced, that i have to suggest the above edits.
it's of course just another longstanding phenomenon that others messed with before the 'founder'. and here's some real modern tech -- use of fMRI -- to better understand it.
Hubbardian mid-century space era 'tech' (and later 20th century style advertising):
real modern tech as generally recognized in the 21st century:
