TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[The_Fixer]

See how spiritual... All our INVITED

View attachment 1354

View attachment 1355

I now see why it is dangerous to read anything that comes out of scientology.

You might laugh yourself to death.

 

[Chuck J.]

This is so ECCLESIASTICAL.
The language is so spiritual.
Incredible *EVIDENCE* that Scientology is a *CHURCH!*

View attachment 1350

Dave certainly has the best coiffure of any Pope!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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posted by Karen#1

This is so ECCLESIASTICAL
The language so SPIRITUAL
Incredible *EVIDENCE* that Scientology is a *CHURCH!*




- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



Holy Hell!
(Literal description of the "Holy Church" of Scientology)

David Miscavige became an inspirational religious leader in precisely the same
way that L. Ron Hubbard ascended to such heights of spiritual eminence.
By typing the words "inspirational religious leader" in his bio.

- ​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Dave certainly has the best coiffure of any Pope!

.
COB would be wise to safeguard and trademark his hair style. . .

Pope + Pompadour = Popeadour™​

This will become very important in the future when cult sales bottom out.

A major financial resurgence could be orchestrated simply by COB issuing a new HCO Policy "KPW", which mandates that all Scientologists (male, female, small children & even babies) book a weekly session at the exciting new Ideal Hair Salon installation inside every org--in order to perfectly duplicate his successful actions.

(KPW, yeah you read that right----yup, that's exactly what it means, Keeping Popeadours Working)

.
.

 

[Karen#1]

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posted by Karen#1

This is so ECCLESIASTICAL
The language so SPIRITUAL
Incredible *EVIDENCE* that Scientology is a *CHURCH!*

View attachment 1359


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



Holy Hell!
(Literal description of the "Holy Church" of Scientology)

David Miscavige became an inspirational religious leader in precisely the same
way that L. Ron Hubbard ascended to such heights of spiritual eminence.
By typing the words "inspirational religious leader" in his bio.

- ​

Due to the unprecedented expansion of Scientology in the last decade, Humanity realizes fully their ONLY HOPE is the IAS !

 

[PirateAndBum]

View attachment 1253

​

Now that I'm a member I realized I can now see posted photos not as a thumbnail but now enlarged. I noticed in the upper right framed picture on the wall it looks like DM punched a hole in the face of the person on the left. Who is the person in the photo? Or did someone photoshop that hole in for the lulz?
.

That Katie Holmes of course.

 

[PirateAndBum]

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That topic could be an entire thread unto itself!

The most entertaining aspect of it is that nobody reading those quotations would have any idea whether it was fact or fiction (i.e. satire). How could anyone ever tell the difference? Is it---

SACRED SCN SCRIPTURE
-OR-
SANCTIMONIOUS SCN STUPEFACTION
​

Hey, maybe you've just inspired an all-new feature on the stupid thread, thanks!

Here's a quotation for readers to wrestle with. So, which is it?

Did L. Ron Hubbard actually say this cringey crazy cult crap or not?

LRH Briefing Tape of 4/01/63: "OT Review: Earth Time & Forgetfulness"​

(excerpt at 22:45):​

​

"....but isn't that fascinating that we have not less than 7 methods of clearing a human being and moving him up the line to full Operating Thetan. Now, what we have done here in Earth time appears to be quite miraculous, don't you see, just a few years--well, earth years--which by the way is the most marvelous thing you can imagine because did you know that time has nothing to do with the movement of the planet around the sun? Oh nobody bothered to explain that to you? Well, along about 213 trillion years ago, a fella was staring at the sun--nobody knows why people--suntanning or whatever people do on these planets. Now, get this datum understood because time is what ails thee and the sun has got nothing whatsoever to do with it! A year is not the earth circumnavigating a sun. Check your wristwatches right now, because the round shape of your watch is a dramatization of the round shape of the implant wheel that made you forget time--it has nothing to do with the shape of the earth or the shape of the sun. That wristwatch you are wearing is why you sometimes get achy wrists when you are doing a lot of typing or gardening or whatever homo sap does with their hands. It kicks in the time implant and the next thing you know old Bill Smithers is suffering from old age forgetfullness and complaining to some medico about arthritis. All he'd have to do is take off that restimulator off his wrist and put it in a drawer and that would be the end of his arthritis."​

- - - -

​

So! Do I have the audiotape link of this briefing that I can post as proof that Hubbard really said that?

Or is it just stupid made-up stuff --as opposed to-- stupid made-up scripture that Scientologists pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for?

.​

You made it up.

 

[The_Fixer]

Due to the unprecedented expansion of Scientology in the last decade, Humanity realizes fully their ONLY HOPE is the IAS !

View attachment 1360

Looking at that expression, my thought is he is thinking..."If those suckers buy that one, they'll buy anything".

 

[The_Fixer]

.


That topic could be an entire thread unto itself!

The most entertaining aspect of it is that nobody reading those quotations would have any idea whether it was fact or fiction (i.e. satire). How could anyone ever tell the difference? Is it---

SACRED SCN SCRIPTURE
-OR-
SANCTIMONIOUS SCN STUPEFACTION
​

Hey, maybe you've just inspired an all-new feature on the stupid thread, thanks!

Here's a quotation for readers to wrestle with. So, which is it?

Did L. Ron Hubbard actually say this cringey crazy cult crap or not?

LRH Briefing Tape of 4/01/63: "OT Review: Earth Time & Forgetfulness"​

(excerpt at 22:45):​

​

"....but isn't that fascinating that we have not less than 7 methods of clearing a human being and moving him up the line to full Operating Thetan. Now, what we have done here in Earth time appears to be quite miraculous, don't you see, just a few years--well, earth years--which by the way is the most marvelous thing you can imagine because did you know that time has nothing to do with the movement of the planet around the sun? Oh nobody bothered to explain that to you? Well, along about 213 trillion years ago, a fella was staring at the sun--nobody knows why people--suntanning or whatever people do on these planets. Now, get this datum understood because time is what ails thee and the sun has got nothing whatsoever to do with it! A year is not the earth circumnavigating a sun. Check your wristwatches right now, because the round shape of your watch is a dramatization of the round shape of the implant wheel that made you forget time--it has nothing to do with the shape of the earth or the shape of the sun. That wristwatch you are wearing is why you sometimes get achy wrists when you are doing a lot of typing or gardening or whatever homo sap does with their hands. It kicks in the time implant and the next thing you know old Bill Smithers is suffering from old age forgetfullness and complaining to some medico about arthritis. All he'd have to do is take off that restimulator off his wrist and put it in a drawer and that would be the end of his arthritis."​

- - - -

​

So! Do I have the audiotape link of this briefing that I can post as proof that Hubbard really said that?

Or is it just stupid made-up stuff --as opposed to-- stupid made-up scripture that Scientologists pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for?

.​

Certainly sounds like the crap he would say. My head is still swimming.

There's a lot of people around who talk garbage like that today. We would know them as SJW's.

 

[Type4_PTS]

.


That topic could be an entire thread unto itself!

The most entertaining aspect of it is that nobody reading those quotations would have any idea whether it was fact or fiction (i.e. satire). How could anyone ever tell the difference? Is it---

SACRED SCN SCRIPTURE
-OR-
SANCTIMONIOUS SCN STUPEFACTION
​

Hey, maybe you've just inspired an all-new feature on the stupid thread, thanks!

Here's a quotation for readers to wrestle with. So, which is it?

Did L. Ron Hubbard actually say this cringey crazy cult crap or not?

LRH Briefing Tape of 4/01/63: "OT Review: Earth Time & Forgetfulness"​

(excerpt at 22:45):​

​

"....but isn't that fascinating that we have not less than 7 methods of clearing a human being and moving him up the line to full Operating Thetan. Now, what we have done here in Earth time appears to be quite miraculous, don't you see, just a few years--well, earth years--which by the way is the most marvelous thing you can imagine because did you know that time has nothing to do with the movement of the planet around the sun? Oh nobody bothered to explain that to you? Well, along about 213 trillion years ago, a fella was staring at the sun--nobody knows why people--suntanning or whatever people do on these planets. Now, get this datum understood because time is what ails thee and the sun has got nothing whatsoever to do with it! A year is not the earth circumnavigating a sun. Check your wristwatches right now, because the round shape of your watch is a dramatization of the round shape of the implant wheel that made you forget time--it has nothing to do with the shape of the earth or the shape of the sun. That wristwatch you are wearing is why you sometimes get achy wrists when you are doing a lot of typing or gardening or whatever homo sap does with their hands. It kicks in the time implant and the next thing you know old Bill Smithers is suffering from old age forgetfullness and complaining to some medico about arthritis. All he'd have to do is take off that restimulator off his wrist and put it in a drawer and that would be the end of his arthritis."​

- - - -

​

So! Do I have the audiotape link of this briefing that I can post as proof that Hubbard really said that?

Or is it just stupid made-up stuff --as opposed to-- stupid made-up scripture that Scientologists pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for?

.​

You posted some other LRH reference back some months ago I was certain you had made up because it was so crazy, and come to find out it really was written (or spoken) by LRH. So I'm going to withhold judgement on this one.

 

[Karen#1]

There is another reason PLANETARY CLEARING is not happening fast enough>>>

(and I heard all about the unleashed FURY Miscavige DUMPED on Flag Land Base Sea Org Members for PLANETARY CLEARING occurring too slowly.)

Here is the additional reason: Members have been instructed to START and FLOW or CONTINUE THE FLOW.

They are just not coughing up FAST ENOUGH.

 

[PirateAndBum]

There is another reason PLANETARY CLEARING is not happening fast enough>>>

(and I heard all about the unleashed FURY Miscavige DUMPED on Flag Land Base Sea Org Members for PLANETARY CLEARING occurring too slowly.)View attachment 1362

Here is the additional reason: Members have been instructed to START and FLOW or CONTINUE THE FLOW.

They are just not coughing up FAST ENOUGH.

Makes my cognitive dissonance detector flash into the red zone dear. Which of course is what happens to members. Some want you to flow, others want to rape you. At any given time depending of the flavor of the day one or the other is going to be getting comm ev'd and rpf'd. One thing is certain - both viewpoints will wind you up in trouble eventually. You can't be right in scn. Hubbard's Law of Commotion make that a certainty.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

Credible parallels can be drawn between Hubbard & Hitler in at least 3 respects:

CULTS: See Scientology, Radical Islam, Nazis or any other cult seeking to conquer & enslave the world.​

​

BIG LIES: See wiki article for an overview of how Hitler's/Hubbard's mind-control gimmick worked.​

​

MARKETING A HYPERBOLIC HOAX: See Leni Reifenstahl: Particularly the documentary Hitler commissioned which was pure propaganda theatrics and grandiosity, much like Scientology's cringefully over-the-top event staging and promo. Her masterpiece was called "THE TRIUMPH OF THE WILL" and the full documentary can be viewed online.​

If Scientology promotion is a Triumph of the Will,
then listening to Ex-Scientologists before joining
is a Triumph of the Won't.

. ​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

You posted some other LRH reference back some months ago I was certain you had made up because it was so crazy, and come to find out it really was written (or spoken) by LRH. So I'm going to withhold judgement on this one.

LOL

I wonder which crazy LRH quote that was. . .

Was it even crazier than curing cancer by smoking more cigarettes or just getting a couple touch assists?

Once Hubbard went to "cancer is caused by not smoking enough cigarettes", it's game over! After that, nobody in their right mind could possibly guess whether he was fully insane, fully trolling or fully testing the credulous cult thresholds of human gullibility.

I don't know at this point if POE'S LAW even captures the Hubbard's extreme brand of lunacy.

(wiki) "Poe's law is an adage of Internet culture stating that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, it is impossible to create a parody of extreme views so obviously exaggerated that it cannot be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of the views being parodied..."​

​

I am now wondering if Hubbard deserves his own "law", lol.

The Hubbard Law of Scientific Breakthroughs: The only ethical method of determining if a new groundbreaking discovery is scientifically correct is to authenticate it within scientific testing protocols that render an affirmative "Proof Of Concept". It is only considered scientific "proof" if the "concept" is peer reviewed and the peer's check clears when deposited into the scientist's bank account.

.

 

[Karen#1]

Who remembers Fred Houck ? I know he fled but do not know his escape story. LOL
He left Sharon Houck behind and she stayed on and on as MAA at CMO INT for a while.... years later I saw she also hit SP Hole. Suppressive Person Dungeon.

FRED HOUCK.

Escapees google their names and find us. hence its good to name names of escapees.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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CultCraft Copywriting

Translation

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​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

QUESTION
WHY ARE SCIENTOLOGY'S ELITE ALWAYS
DEPICTED HOLDING SWORDS?






ANSWER
Swords are not really their first choice--
but the FP Committee never approves
their P.O. for light sabers.



INTERGALCTIC COSPLAY
Is it COStume PLAY or Church Of Scientology PLAY?
Is there really any difference when you
suspend disbelief and pretend you
are fighting evil SPs in order
to save the universe?

.​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
In Scientology it is believed that everything in life can be reduced to a SCALE.

At the top of the scale is the IDEAL (e.g. happiness, survival, pleasure, prosperity...) and at the bottom is EVIL (e.g. sadness, death, pain, poverty...)

Scientology presents a game where paying contestants attempt to move all less-than-ideal parts of their life up to the top of various scales. Scientology promises if you study and understand how to "apply" the scale technology, you will very successfully be able to alchemically transform the base wretchedness of your existence up to the golden divine.

Scientology's Top 10 Scales:

​

1. CDEINR SCALE​

2. KNOW to MYSTERY SCALE​

3. CAUSE TO EFFECT SCALE​

4. EMOTIONAL TONE SCALE​

5. HAVINGNESS SCALE​

6. AWARENESS SCALE​

7. HAVINGNESS SCALE​

8. CONFRONT SCALE​

9. RESPONSIBILITY​

10. SLIDING SCALE​

We will now explore each of the above Scales, a chapter at a time:

CDEINR SCALE​

Curious​

Desire​

Enforce​

Inhibit​

No​

Refused​

​

SCIENTOLOGY'S EXPLANATION: It is quite "ideal" to raise beings on this scale up to the top so that they are "Curious" about everything. Small children and babies are very curious and they are always laughing so being curious is obviously the secret of happiness.​

​

HOW IT REALLY WORKS: Scientology will say/do anything to make you curious enough to go inside the org, where extremely curious things begin to happen, such as large scale "donations" you cannot possibly afford.​

​

PRO TIP: The actual CDEINR SCALE that Scientologists don't learn about for decades is:​

​

Contact. The moment Scientology gets your name, address, phone and other contact information. After that, they will be regularly contacting you to sell you your next level which (unlike the previously level you paid for) this time will for sure 100% fix the same thing that is still ruining your life.​

​

Donate. You need to donate or die. Scientologists can scientifically prove to you how your life is ruined unless you can immediately borrow more money and give it to them. At each step of your spiritual journey Scientologists will calculate how much you need to donate with precise mathematical accuracy and the answer will always be "more".​

​

Everyone. Don't worry that you are not going exterior and visiting remote planets elsewhere in distant galaxies. Everyone else is having these kind of miraculous wins and everyone else is attaining god-like supernatural powers. Just stick with it a tiny bit longer, they assure you with love-bombing compassion. You'll make it just like everyone else made it!​

​

Inquisition. Okay so you it's looking like you are a "no-case-gain", our church really needs to investigate whether you are an SP. That's the only reason people don't get their miracles is because they are evil. Are you evil? We need to get to the bottom of this so we are sending you to Ethics in the department of Inspections to be Interviewed, Investigated, & Interrogated in your own personal Inquisition.​

​

Non-enturbulation. We are giving you the last warning. We just issued a "Non-Enturbulation Order" on you for commiting the "high crime" of mentioning to another Scientologist that lie that failed to get miracles from our technology. If you dare say anything to anyone ever again about that we are going to declare you to be an SP. Then we will destroy you as the degraded, evil piece of shit that you really are.​

​

Refund. This is the final stage of Scientology where you Request a Refund and it is Refused.​

​

.​

 

[Karen#1]

Oh those photogenic images in those glossy magazines !
These are promoting RTC Czars. LOL

And the actuality ?

Top photo Eric and Marissa Profitlich didn’t last more than 6 months as RTC reps, both now out of SO.
Eric and Marissa Profitlich Google your names !
Lynn Engen (seated) was also later removed and sent back to int base in disgrace. then made into a proof reader .

Image #2
Erica Williams was promoted to be DMs secretary then wound up on the RPF.

Anne Rathbun Joasem(sp?) still in Sea Org ...full time bodyguard of Shelly Miscavige in that mountain hideaway.
Jesse Reiss (son of Richard Reiss) also ended up on RPF.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

BESIDES STUPID COSTUMES & SWORDS
WHAT ELSE IS WRONG?
WITH THIS PREPOSTEROUS PROMO




ANSWER
CRYPTICALLY CORRUPT CULT COPYWRITING
​

​

COPY: . "A Spirit Nobody Can Tame"​

​

CONCEPT: Hey, let's love bomb & validate our credulous culties a little more than usual today--so they will sign a billion year contract without a whole massy mess of degraded due diligence DevT. ​

CRYPTIC CULT CODE: To decrypt cult copywriting, one must apply The Hubbard Law Of Commotion* and reverse every word and idea to its antonymic opposite.​

​

COSMIC CONTRIVANCE: Hubbard's #1 "successful action" in recruiting fanatic followers (who will cheerfully donate all their time & money to him) was to elevate their status to a mystical, mythological, measurelessly magical, messianic master of man & MEST. Ergo, a clueless homo sapiens mark suddenly (with the help of a few keyboard clicks) becomes an omnisciently omnipotent OT--a homo novis! An immortal God, suffering the indignities of living amongst DBs on their pitiful little slave planet---just to salvage their sorry souls. Whoa, that's gotta feel good--all that that supreme status!​

​

CONCLUSION: So is a sword-swinging, swashbuckling Sea Org member really "a spirit nobody can tame"? Wouldn't an untamable being be able to find out the answer in less than 3 minutes by just casually asking themselves a few simple questions? ​

• If they factually are fiercely free-minded, indomitable spirits, why is it that they must ask permission to take a day or even 1 hour off work for the next one billion years?
• Why can't they look at the internet? Why can't they read, buy or even temporarily posses a book about Scientology not written by Hubbard?
• Why is it that they cannot ever afford to own a car, and even if they inherited one, they would not be allowed to drive it unless they first completed the Hubbard "Standard Authorization To Drive A Car" course? And they would not be allowed to do that course until they had completed an interminably long list of other courses someone ordered them to do.
• Why if "nobody can tame" them, do they immediately salute & obey every single command and order they are given from everybody in management?
• If they are not "tamed" why are they terrified to even make a single phone call without written authorization from above? Beyond that, why can't an "untamed spirit" do something 5 billion other tamed humans did---buy a cell phone?
• Why aren't "untamed spirits" allowed to think about these questions, or ask themselves these questions--or even read the questions?

​

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* Hubbard Law of Commotion - "In Scientology for every policy, code, axiom or piece of technology there is an equal and opposite policy, code, axiom or piece of technology".

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