TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
I am am ex-Scientologist. I knew and assumed all of that. I should have asked a more precise question:,

Does the Church of Scientology allow a Scientology Minister and Class 4 Auditor to also be a Christian and promote themselves as a "Christian Scientologist when there is no Div. 6, PR or "raw public" purpose, and the only percipient witnesses are devoted, on-lines Scientologists?

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Oops sorry, I always assumed you were an ex-Scientologist until I misunderstood your question. My bad.

My answer to the reformatted question: Sure, why not! It's good practice lying like that with live Scientologists standing around, and much superior to doing doll drills. Mainly as a form of bullbaiting to train Scientologists not to break up laughing when they are supposed to be blinklessly standing nearby and nodding affirmatively.

Here's an example of what happens when an Ideal Scientologist witnesses another Ideal Scientologist overtly lying their ass off about Scientology:


Hey, no worries—Scientology only costs 30 bucks!

Aliens? I've never heard of that in Scientology!


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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In Hubbard's pivotal "breakthrough" on the subject of Suppressive Persons ("SPs") he listed out the personality traits of destructive/evil "anti-social personalities" who—quite conveniently were also discovered to be "anti-Scientologists"!

Here is an LRH quote worth considering:

"However, the list given above consists of things which such a personality cannot detect in himself or herself. This is so true that if you thought you found yourself in one of the above, you most certainly are not antisocial. Self-criticism is a luxury the antisocial cannot afford. They must be RIGHT because they are in continual danger in their own estimation." -L. Ron Hubbard

Paradoxically, the author of that quote never once considered the possibility that he, himself, was an anti-social personality. Mostly because he was too busy selling magical powers and convincing others to adore/worship him for being the sole savior to all mankind. So, how does it work? If you think you might be an SP, you are not? But if are 100% certain that you are not an SP, you are?

There are too many paradoxes in that clownish statement to list out. However, it's worth noting that the two greatest OTs that ever lived (Hubbard/Miscavige) also happen to be the two biggest SPs that any Scientologist every encountered in their lifetimes. But the Scientologists were also too busy to notice. They had clay demos to do about how to detect SPs! LOL

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Enthetan

Veteran of the Psychic Wars
Does the Church of Scientology allow a Scientology Minister and Class 4 Auditor to also be a Christian and promote themselves as a "Christian Scientologist" when there is no Div. 6, PR or "raw public" purpose, and the only percipient witnesses are devoted, on-lines Scientologists?
If what you really mean is "Would they tolerate a Scientologist disseminating Christianity to Scientologists, whether explicitly or implicitly?", while there is no open policy that I know of, I think it would be heavily stomped on as "other practices".

Especially if the Christian made any sort of claim for doing or feeling better through the practice of Christian prayer or worship.

If you study HCOPL "Keeping Scientology Working", Hubbard was opposed to anything which might distract Scientologists from spending every waking hour working on disseminating Scientology. Any activity which did NOT visibly contribute to expanding Scientology (and making money for Hubbard) was to be stomped on hard.

One aspect of Christianity that would generate extremely negative reactions, would be a Scientologist seeing a priest or minister, or even just the Bible, as a source for guidance about morality or ethical behavior, which might come into conflict with Scientology demands.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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--snipped--
One aspect of Christianity that would generate extremely negative reactions, would be a Scientologist seeing a priest or minister, or even just the Bible, as a source for guidance about morality or ethical behavior, which might come into conflict with Scientology demands.
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So many paradoxes within the cult of Scientology!

TRIGGER WARNING
The following contains an uncensored thought
happening inside an Ideal Scientologist's mind.

A Scientologist seeing a priest or minister might casually have a contemptuously condescending thought such as: "Stupid fucking wog, dramatizing your stupid fucking religious implant about stupid fucking Jesus, with your stupid fucking Bible filled with stupid fucking false data—and wearing your stupid fucking ministers collar and stupid fucking jumbo cross!"

Meanwhile, the Scientologist having that thought could (at the very same moment) easily be wearing a Scientology minister's collar, jumbo cross and carrying a sacred religious book by Hubbard with stupid false implanted data in it.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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A Scientologist seeing a priest or minister might casually have a contemptuously condescending thought such as: "Stupid fucking wog, dramatizing your stupid fucking religious implant about stupid fucking Jesus, with your stupid fucking Bible filled with stupid fucking false data—and wearing your stupid fucking ministers collar and stupid fucking jumbo cross!"

FAQ:

QUESTION: Do all Scientologists really think and talk like that—with every sentence being loaded with "stupid fucking" this and "stupid fucking" that?

ANSWER: No, not all. Just the really responsible, uptone and unreasonable ones who are helping Ron clear this stupid fucking planet.*


* Once in a while if publicly speaking at a formal videotaped event, they might avoid inserting the word "fucking" in every single sentence—but instead, occasionally substitute Scientology's synonym for "fucking" which is "DB" (e.g. "...helping Ron clear this stupid DB planet").

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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LOL!

There is even a newly released expanded theta timetrack version that adds more specificity to the dates. . .

96 BILLION YEARS AGO: Theta becomes clams
75 MILLION YEARS AGO: Theta becomes clusters
71 YEARS AGO (1950): Theta becomes cults
54 YEARS AGO (1967): Theta becomes commodores
35 YEARS AGO (1986). Theta becomes COBs
....
 
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Marko Ex

Active member
Aaron Smith-Levin
@GrowingupinSCN

Since the release of Mark Ultra VII e-meter in 2013, all scientologists who buy one have to sign a legal agreement. This is that legal agreement. The purpose is to make sure no one outside of scientology ever gets their hands on one of these meters.

EVIL CACKLE...I WANT ONE!
HOW COOL WOULD IT BE TO GET ONE, DRAW A SCHEMATIC OF IT...and then figure out the cost of building one from scratch? Just for shits and giggles...
And then...
The New Church of The Bombdiggity Intergallactic Pneumatic Bollocks, featuring the revolutionary, new Mackin' Mercin' Pimp Meter! Travel the Bridge to Ignominy and Degradation! Experience the latest and greatest phuckery in a wonderfully dark, satanic, gaslighting, spirit-raping series of processes that are GUARANTEED to TFYU(terminatedly fuck you up)!
We accept credit, cash, blood, flesh, children, bitcoin, cars, jewelry, real estate, healthy organs, pets, etc.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
..

WHAT SCIENTOLOGY SAYS IT WANTS
A world without war.​
A world without criminality​
A world without insanity​
WHAT SCIENTOLOGY ACTUALLY WANTS
A world without laws on religious rackets.​
A world without search engines.​
A world without whistleblowers.​
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE INSIDE ONE OF SCIENTOLOGY'S 3 ELITE UPPER
LEVEL CHURCHES ("FLAG" , "THE FREEWINDS" OR AN "ADVANCED ORG")
IN ORDER TO RECEIVE DAILY PROFESSIONAL AUDITING WHICH

COSTS YOU ANYWHERE FROM $500 - $1,500 PER HOUR?


Paying PCs sit around and wait all day until they are ushered in
and out of auditing sessions. At all times before, during and after
each session they are hyper-focused on "how they are feeling".

At the end of each auditing session the auditor stares at you
quite intensely to see "how you are feeling", and if you have the
requisite happy-happy grin and floating needle the session is ended.

After ending the session, the auditor personally escorts you to another
Scientologist called "The Examiner" who also stares at you quite
intensely in order to see "how you are feeling" and you still have
a happy-happy grin and flowing needle the exam is ended.

Then you return to the PC waiting area where the other paying
PCs all look at you intensely in order to see "how you are feeling".

Often another waiting PC strides right up to you to more closely
obnose and measure the lumens of sparkling light emanating
from your eyes and/or the size and intensity of your grin. They
are also "examining" you—as you continue to self-examine
yourself in an introspectively introverting fashion.

The other PCs who show up next to you to do a welfare check
on "how you are feeling" typically stand much too close
and peer far too deeply into your eyes. . .





* Normally anyone who has an intense desire to ask you "HOW ARE YOU FEELING?" would simply ask you "HOW ARE YOU FEELING?" But not Scientologists. Because their all-knowing guru Dr. Hubbard carefully warned them against ever asking anyone "How are you feeling?" The reason is because asking them for "feelings" will introvert their attention introspectively inward, caving them in! However asking "How are you doing?" does not spin other OTs in and erase all their miraculous OT superpowers. Thus it is the only authorized question which Scientologists are allowed to ask each other. If this sounds supremely stupid to you, congratulations--you are not a Scientologist.


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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PART II: Scientologists with fixated attention on how they and others are feeling.


What to do if a Scientologist comes up to you
with VVVGIs (very very very grinning indicators) and
demands to know "HOW ARE YOU DOING?!!
!"


* * * STANDARD RESPONSES * * *
guaranteed to get Scientologists to leave you
alone, go away and go handle someone else






"I'm doing so greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!"
(best stated without moving lips/teeth or disrupting frozen grin—by using
ventriloquism)







"Wow, I'm like so...like...I mean
like there's like not even like words!
OMG, I just had another massive OT cog
and I gotta go now to write up my win!!!"








"WINNING!!!"



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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From a thread discussing Dr. Hubbard's breakthrough
discovery of the concept of "TOTAL RESPONSIBILITY"


When the Volunteer Ministers came into New Orleans after the recent hurricane I wonder if they slammed in the ethics of the residents there by assigning them a condition of treason for pulling in Hurricane Ida? :unsure:

There are actually two Scientology Missions there in that city. Clearly, the executives of those Missions need to be Comm Ev'ed for allowing Hurricane Ida to come through there. :mad:

At best they're guilty of gross negligence which was very destructive to the purpose of planetary clearing. All they had to do was write an on-policy CSW and send it to the OT Committee. :duh:
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LOL!

All of Scientology's problems can be traced to Scientologists lower on the command channel refusing to take full responsibility for applying Ron's tech!

Here is a KR from someone higher on the command channel:


THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T BE REPORT

Today, a large bird flew into the front window of our Ideal Org, shattering the glass all over the "FREE STRESS TEST" table on the sidewalk in front. Our staff member Billy Blowdown sustained some minor cuts from the flying glass shards.
As a result of this out-PR flap, Blowdown utterly abandoned the Stress Test table and lost 57 minutes of production time when he blew post to go get some antiseptic and bandaids. He committed this overt of omission of leaving an unmanned stress test table without turning his hat over to a fully hatted replacement. Thus for nearly an hour Blowdown sabotaged LRH's dream of a "well informed public", ruining any chance Homo Sapiens has of connecting to Source, getting on the Bridge, reaching the state of Homo Novis and thereby safeguarding their eternities!
Billy Blowdown is hereby assigned a condition of ENEMY for betraying Ron, fellow staff members and all mankind on this planet. He is to work up the conditions after first doing a clay demo of the definition of "TOTAL RESPONSIBILTY" to a pass. Billy must also issue a apology in writing wherein he publicly disavows all of his earlier justifications for going effect, wherein he blamed the bird—rather than assume full personal responsibility for unethically mocking up a bird and then shamefully & criminally using both counter-intention and other-intention to steer the bird into our Ideal Org's front window!

- - -


PRO TIP: Billy Blowdown and/or any other high-toned Scientologist would actually have a "HUGE LIFE-CHANGING WINS" from doing the above ethics cycle.


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Type4_PTS

Well-known member
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From a thread discussing Dr. Hubbard's breakthrough
discovery of the concept of "TOTAL RESPONSIBILITY"




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LOL!

All of Scientology's problems can be traced to Scientologists lower on the command channel refusing to take full responsibility for applying Ron's tech!

Here is a KR from someone higher on the command channel:


THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T BE REPORT

Today, a large bird flew into the front window of our Ideal Org, shattering the glass all over the "FREE STRESS TEST" table on the sidewalk in front. Our staff member Billy Blowdown sustained some minor cuts from the flying glass shards.
As a result of this out-PR flap, Blowdown utterly abandoned the Stress Test table and lost 57 minutes of production time when he blew post to go get some antiseptic and bandaids. He committed this overt of omission of leaving an unmanned stress test table without turning his hat over to a fully hatted replacement. Thus for nearly an hour Blowdown sabotaged LRH's dream of a "well informed public", ruining any chance Homo Sapiens has of connecting to Source, getting on the Bridge, reaching the state of Homo Novis and thereby safeguarding their eternities!
Billy Blowdown is hereby assigned a condition of ENEMY for betraying Ron, fellow staff members and all mankind on this planet. He is to work up the conditions after first doing a clay demo of the definition of "TOTAL RESPONSIBILTY" to a pass. Billy must also issue a apology in writing wherein he publicly disavows all of his earlier justifications for going effect, wherein he blamed the bird—rather than assume full personal responsibility for unethically mocking up a bird and then shamefully & criminally using both counter-intention and other-intention to steer the bird into our Ideal Org's front window!

- - -


PRO TIP: Billy Blowdown and/or any other high-toned Scientologist would actually have a "HUGE LIFE-CHANGING WINS" from doing the above ethics cycle.


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I'm glad to see that Billy got handled but to me, it seems by wrongfully blaming the bird that he should do lower conditions on the Fifth Dynamic in addition to any other handling he does.

In all likelihood, the bird was just minding its own business, and due to Billy's out-ethics ended up smashing into the window causing serious injury to himself. :ohmy:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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I'm glad to see that Billy got handled but to me, it seems by wrongfully blaming the bird that he should do lower conditions on the Fifth Dynamic in addition to any other handling he does.

In all likelihood, the bird was just minding its own business, and due to Billy's out-ethics ended up smashing into the window causing serious injury to himself. :ohmy:

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LOL

It gets complicated if the out-ethics, evil-intentioned postulate (to cause the bird to crash into the org window) was made by one of Billy Blowdown's BTs.

If that is the case, WHO does the Treason condition?

Even more perplexing is this. If a BT pulled in the bird-crash, how do they get thru their liability formula's AMENDS PROJECT where they need a meat body to do filing in CF?


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Lee #28 said:
Yea, for sure. The BRIEFING COURSE was "re-released" with new materials twice, while I was on it. There was a massive event and fanfare about the "New Briefing Course" materials. The Cult loves to re-package and charge everyone to do it again...(snipped for brevity)...
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LOL

One has to love Scientology's "RE-RELEASE" of the same materials over and over again. "Hey everyone, we found a missing comma in one of the books, but there's even better news! Now that we found that fatal tech alter-is (which is why nobody went OT in 70 years) we are RE-RELEASING all the books and it's only going to cost you $4,000!"

I think it would be an effective marketing program if Scientology senior management announced:

1. The exciting re-release of the Briefing Course materials ( "Hey we found one comma that maybe should have been a semicolon!!!")​
2. Mandatory order that all Scientologists who have done the years-long Briefing Course are required to Re-Buy the Re-Released bulletins, PABS and many hundreds of audio taped lectures so they have their own personal copes to Re-Study at home.​
3. Mandatory order that all Scientologists must re-buy a SECOND SET of all the SHSBC materials, in case there is some emergency and the first set is not available. (see e-meter marketing tech where Scientology marks are tricked into buying a 2nd "back-up" meter in case "something happens" in session. There is no danger in that, because in 71 years of auditing "nothing has ever happened" in session either to the meter OR the preciear. lol)
4. Mandatory order that all Scientologist must re-buy a 3rd set of all the Briefing Course materials, in order to insert into a titanium time capsule to bury in their back yard. (In case there is a nuclear war and of millions of years in the future a cave man randomly stumbles across Ron's planet saving tech!)​
5. Mandatory order that all Scientologists must re-buy a 2nd titanium time capsule. In case something happens to the first.​

:hattip:

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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the following is based on another thread's discussion about whether Hubbard's
OT levels promote and purport to endow one with supernatural OT powers.

- - -


I see you mean the OT materials. Do you have access to the confidential EPs?
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ANSWER: The confidential EPs ("End Phenomena") for the OT levels are actually revealed to new Scientologists on their very first day of their very first training course! The "ability attained" for each of the OT levels is identical to the ability attained on TR-0.

"The ability to sit there and do nothing"

Doing nothing. That's the one (1) miraculous power that OT's actually can scientifically demonstrate!

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Karen#1

Well-known member
The assignment of *Suppressive Person* declare is a major trophy and life-honored achievement. To be named as an enemy of the criminal cartel is a separation from EVIL.
Suppressive Persons do wonderful things for others, have empathy for those losing loved ones, give of their own time to help sick and needy, while the CULT names such as "Degraded Beings" and "PTSs.
But there is something hilarious here
Scientology Inc is as mercurial and bipolar as some of their more recent *spokesmen"
Why do I say Scientology Inc is Bipolar ?
In a New York second, an OT 8 mega donor (take Luis Garcia as an example) is no longer the glorious Patron with a folder full of commendations, but is an anti-social character,
(But the cult will keep the $350,000 donations....)
Scientology Inc determines WHO is good and who is evil in this world.
But wait, it will in its own demented Matrix determine WHAT is good and what is evil What TV show, what books, what groups, what internet sites and if you disagree...Hey presto YOU are new SP ! And you may be Fair Gamed and Destroyed.
What a concoction !
How cool to have Forums such as ESMB Redux to unravel the layers of the onion and the super imposed masks of deception.


GANGSTER.mask.jpg
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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cross-posted from another thread where
SuperstarNeilC shared this patriotic promo piece...

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I can't think of any promotion piece I have ever seen for Scientology (or any other business for that matter) that fills an entire poster with WORDS, PHOTOS & COLORS but does not leave even a nano-clue what they are promoting.

The reader is supposed to do what? Get excited about the chance to "ROCK FOR AN IDEAL USA?"

Scientologists are fanatical about clearing words. But they re-define the word "ROCK" to mean "DONATE". And they re-define the word "USA" to mean "ORG".

Lies and Gaslighting and Euphemisms, oh my!

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