TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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"Total Freedom" does not include the freedom to
write, voice or even have non-standard ideas."


Standard Ideas: Perfectly pro-survival and unimaginably high-toned thought, the purity of which was only ever achieved by one messianic being, L. Ron Hubbard--who unselfishly came to this degraded slave planet to salvage and save degraded beings from their own suppressively non-standard thoughts. Hubbard made the remarkable discovery in 1950 that DBs on this planet (on rare occasion) quite surprisingly came soaring upscale for brief moments, during which they momentarily were capable of "standard ideas", which endowed them with certain OT powers such as writing large checks.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Scientology is to Total Freedom what Islam is to Peace and what the progressive liberal cult is to Social Justice.

Uh-Oh, you have committed the mortal sin of mentioning politics. . .

PREDICTION: For the first time since 2011, the "Stupid Moments In Scientology" thread will (within 48 hours) be disgracefully disappeared into the "Grudge Match" dungeon of deplorables! LOL.

Kindly allow me to salvage this thread by offering up YOUR apology to the triggered:

I, guanoloco, have committed unforgivable atrocities for which I deserved to be publicly shamed. I am a fascist! I have racist thoughts against the race of woke beings. I am literally worse than Hitler! I beg forgiveness! I have made up the damage by donating large sums of money to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez' go-fund-me page to buy a fleet of incredibly fast private jets that will fly planet-saving progressives around the globe quickly enough to avoid the earth's total destruction in 12 years.
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Type4_PTS

Well-known member
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Blowing with an F/N is a heretical high-crime! No one is ever allowed to do that--which brings up the conniving cult con curiously called: "Total Freedom".

The rules of the (con) "game" are:

TO WIN THE GAME & THEREBY ATTAIN THE PRIZE OF TOTAL FREEDOM, YOU MUST:
1. Blindly believe every word written/uttered by the the infallibles--Commodore & COB.​
2. Obsequiously obey all cult Commandments.​
3. Unquestioningly & cheerfully pay any ludicrously lavish sums in your scientifically calculated tech-estimate.​
4. (Having attained "Total Freedom") You must never demonstrate to anyone your miraculous superpowers.​
5. (Having attained "Total Freedom") You must never use* any of that freedom for yourself. Before utilizing any portion of your Total Freedom for your reactively low-toned ideas, you must first standardly CSW to ask for written permission from high-toned, high-ranking military leaders atop your your "church's" command channel.​
* use (examples):.
  • Total Freedom does not include the freedom to read what is on the internet.
  • Total Freedom does not include the freedom to do "wholetrack research" or discover "tech", like Ron.
  • Total Freedom does not include the freedom to change your religion or create your own, like Ron.
  • Total Freedom does not include the freedom to even walk out the door without being stalked, recovered & rehabilitated.
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This could be another infinitely long thread in itself. When chooses to purchase Total Freedom from the Co$, they should be up front about the exclusions.

Here's several more things not covered by ones acquisition of Total Freedom.

Going bowling

Thinking unkind thoughts about David Miscavige, L Ron Hubbard, or the "church" of Scientology.

The freedom to engage in "other practices" such as yoga and meditation, both of which are scientifically proven to be beneficial.

The freedom to freely communicate with your friends and family if they insist on expressing their negative thoughts about Scientology.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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From an interesting discussion thread linked here: "SCIENTOLOGY CULT RITUALS"

Originally posted by Karen de la Carriere
Chinese School INDOCTRINATION. Parroting back mindlessly the words of Hubbard.
Chinese School is especially enforced on Outer Org Students at every muster (Roll call).
In Scientology RITUALS ARE ENFORCED. There is no opt-out or Power of choice.

1571377087853.png

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KULT KOAN KONUNDRUM:
What would happen if Scientologists were "Chinese Schooled" on the following OT tech of detecting & avoiding implants?

"THEY PRIMARY TECH OF RECOGNIZING & AVOIDING IMPLANTS IS TO OBNOSE WHEN
ANOTHER TERMINAL/GROUP IS FORCING YOU TO ACCEPT, DUPLICATE & REPEAT A DATUM"


ANSWER: They would have huge wins, write success stories about it and actively recruit others to get the Chinese Schooling so they could have similar wins to their own.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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In case anyone was wondering if this was a real quote about real tech from Hubbard. . .

"THE PRIMARY TECH OF RECOGNIZING & AVOIDING IMPLANTS IS TO OBNOSE WHEN
ANOTHER TERMINAL/GROUP IS FORCING YOU TO ACCEPT, DUPLICATE & REPEAT A DATUM"

ANSWER: Yes, it is a real quote. Yes, it is real tech. And yes, it is from Hubbard. It's from the book---

IMPLANTINETICS
THE MODERN SCIENCE OF MENTAL CULTS

by DON HUBBARD (see avatar)

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Karen#1

Well-known member
STAND is an acronym for the Office of Special Affairs HATE website that attacks critics of Scientology 24/7/365
INCREDULOUSLY ~~

According to STAND League blogger Rodger Clark “At this point it’s safe to say that nothing and no one in recent history has received a more intense, relentless and sustained public smear campaign than the Church of Scientology, the religion itself and its founder, L. Ron Hubbard.”

Good Grief !
The cult sees itself as a VICTIM.

They cannot see themselves as INSTIGATORS of the enemies they make by their FAIR GAME, their hate pages, their HATE videos.

!!!!!!!!!!

HH I need you to bring me to understanding.
There is a process on GRADE 0.

What does it *MEAN* ?

FROM WHERE COULD YOU COMMUNICATE TO A VICTIM ?
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
--snipped for brevity--
Good Grief ! The cult sees itself as a VICTIM. They cannot see themselves as INSTIGATORS of the enemies they make by their FAIR GAME, their hate pages, their HATE videos...There is a process on GRADE 0. What does it *MEAN* ? FROM WHERE COULD YOU COMMUNICATE TO A VICTIM ?
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I wish I knew what it means. . .

However, I never made it that far on Grade 0, because I got hung up and bogged down on an earlier communication process & command:

"IF YOU COULD TALK TO RON WHAT WOULD YOU SAY EXACTLY?"

I loved that command but when I answered: "Hey Ron, is all this stuff real or just a big old money-trap-of-sci-fi-crap? Can YOU actually demonstrate a Clear's perfect memory or an OT's ability to postulate matter or exteriorize with full perception?"---they immediately ended session and sent me to Ethics to pick up my copy of the Non-Enturbulation Order, new Tech Estimate, lower Conditions assignment and Com Ev High-Crime charges.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
I loved that command but when I answered "Hey Ron, is all this stuff real or just a big old money-trap-of-sci-fi-crap? Can YOU actually demonstrate a Clear's perfect memory or an OT's ability to postulate matter or exteriorize with full perception?"---they immediately ended session and sent me to Ethics to pick up my copy of the Non-Enturbulation Order, new Tech Estimate, lower Conditions assignment and Com Ev High-Crime charges.
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I mistakenly and very unfairly forgot to mention that after all the above, Scientology very generously provided me with a free sabbatical that included spiritual rest & rehabilitation aboard a luxury yacht---and my own VIP private meditation chamber (see graphic below) to reflect upon whether any being on this planet has the rank to ask mankind's savior such non-sequitur and irrelevant questions.

1571448011266.png


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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KSW KOAN OF THE DAY: If the tech always works 100% of the time, where do you send a PC in the HGC (Hubbard Guidance Center) on whom the tech is simply not working at all?

ANSWER: The "No Case Gain" PC is routed to the other HGC. The Hubbard Gulag Chainlocker. It's also known as "Ethics", any of the special re-indoctrination units in Scientology (e.g. the "Chainlocker", "The Hole", the "Rehabilitation Project Force", et al) that literally forces you under extraordinary duress to either pretend you are having huge wins or to simply STFU.

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D

Deleted member 51

Guest
La La Lou Lou came up with a real zinger. :LOL: :roflmao: Cross posted from another thread:


From what I remember reading thetans get stuck like flies to flypaper to a mixture of Glycol and Alcohol, this is used between lives and just to trap thetans before shipping them to the nearest volcano. I think I remember reading that bodies in pawn are kept floating in vats of the stuff. Do you mix the two liquids together and suddenly find that you leave your body stuck to the inside of the test tube, whereby you drop the glass and you end up stuck to the carpet?

Is this just some metaphorical confession that Hubbard was addicted to spirits?

Does this even exist as a substance, as far as I can work out alcohol and glycol are pretty much the same thing.

Did anyone ever question the science of this?

I also remember him saying that a woman's body was a perfect theta trap. Did he ever think that women might not agree with that? Maybe it's just another confession that he was a lecherous old man who had trouble looking a woman in the eye because they were glued to her chest?

What is it all about, did Hubbard just talk in metaphors, thinking he was remembering the distant past, but actually being in a dream like trance, all the time?
:LOL:

Glycol and alcohol are used for auto antifreeze. How stupid is that?! :LOL:
 

The_Fixer

Well-known member
Uh-Oh, you have committed the mortal sin of mentioning politics. . .

PREDICTION: For the first time since 2011, the "Stupid Moments In Scientology" thread will (within 48 hours) be disgracefully disappeared into the "Grudge Match" dungeon of deplorables! LOL.

Kindly allow me to salvage this thread by offering up YOUR apology to the triggered:

I, guanoloco, have committed unforgivable atrocities for which I deserved to be publicly shamed. I am a fascist! I have racist thoughts against the race of woke beings. I am literally worse than Hitler! I beg forgiveness! I have made up the damage by donating large sums of money to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez' go-fund-me page to buy a fleet of incredibly fast private jets that will fly planet-saving progressives around the globe quickly enough to avoid the earth's total destruction in 12 years.
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I think that idiot L.Ron might have got his hands on a couple of Marcabian DC-8s that may be of assistance?
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Ah, HH... people blew from Scientology with F/Ns ALL THE TIME! I was the original full-time Call-In I/C at AOLA, and the public had that drill down COLD.
"I can't come in for services. I'm still on a Persistent F/N." :LOL: Smart, right? :roflmao:
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LOL! Hilarious, but something odd is happening with my reactive brain. . .

The more decades-removed I am from the cult of Scientology, the more I am un-able to tell if some of the things people report happened in Scientology are true or ludicrous parody. (see explanation at: POE'S LAW).

So, I am guessing that you weren't joking and people actually used that excuse?! LOL.

Holy hell, I need clay or a demo kit or something! Well, let me at least try to get "full conceptual understanding" by making up some sentences until I feel good about the persistent F/N tech. . .

"I can't come in to the org to start my OT levels because I am
still on a persistent F/N since I went Clear during a
Dianetics session Ron gave me in 1949."

Wow, I am starting to feel good about that!

If Scientologists really blew off the org's tone-40 body routers, attempting to "8C" them back in to the org--- I am confident that Ron would have developed a TECH REMEDY for that counter-intentioned and other-intentioned justification for not immediately doing their next Bridge step. He'd call it a "monumental breakthrough" and give it a really cool spiritual-sounding name like: "The End Of The Endless Persistent F/N Rundown".


WE NOW EAVESDROP ON A THE LAST COUPLE MINUTES OF A PHONE CONVERSATION
THAT HAS ALREADY BEING IN PROGRESS FOR OVER THREE HOURS:


ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
...so like I was saying, it's truly awesome that you were one of the
elite beings who Ron audited before he published DMSMH! But
we are a little concerned that it's been 60 years since you
were moving on the Bridge to Total Freedom. Ron states
that if a being doesn't immediately sign up for their
next level, there is some kind of technical reason
so we need to get you in so our senior C/S
can have you do an interview with the
Director of Processing and do a
full Folder-Error-Summary on
your PC folders.

FLOYD FLOAT
Yeah, but I don't have any PC folders.
I got my session before LRH researched and discovered
the tech of keeping worksheets. Actually, my session was
only 30 seconds long and there was only one command.
I can tell you tell you verbatim what happened if you want
to write it down and create a worksheet and PC folder for me.

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
Oh, I am not sure that is totally standard. You need to
be on an e-meter so the Director of Processing can write
down the reads and send it in to the Senior CS.

FLOYD FLOAT
Well, there weren't any reads because in 1949 it was before
Ron discovered the e-meter.

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
Wow! So....um....that's really awesome! But..um....
well, if there were no reads and no e-meter then you don't really
know if you had a "persistent F/N" so we need to get you in
right away to put you on the meter and validate your state.

FLOYD FLOAT
Yeah, but I totally went Clear because Ron announced me as
"The World's First Clear" and I still have the original Western
Union telegram that Ron sent out to the American
Psychiatric Institute to demand a million dollar grant.

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
Wow, that is so amazing! But we really need to get you
into the org so you can bring in that telegram
and then we can get it into your
pc folder so the CS
can read it!

FLOYD FLOAT
Hey, your org is in Los Angeles and I live 2300 miles away,
why don't i just scan it and send it over via email right now?

ADVANCED REGISTRAR
Oh, no---I mean don't do that!!! Because your PC folder
data is totally confidential and the only person
that should see it is the Senior CS, so
we need you to fly here or drive
here as soon as possible. Are
you leaving today or
tomorrow, we need
to schedule your
arrival so the
C/S clears
time for
you.

FLOYD FLOAT
I think this is getting really complicated. Let me just
tell you what happened in my session. Ron gave
me the "one-shot-clear" command which is
"BE 3 FEET BACK OF YOUR HEAD"
Then Ron asked me: "So, are you
now Clear and Exterior?" I said
"I guess so." And then
Ron ended the
session.

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
Wow, that is awesome. But that was not Dianetics.
And so we need to get you in for your
CLEAR CERTAINTY RUNDOWN
to find out for sure if you
really went Clear.

FLOYD FLOAT
Hey, no problem on that. I just emailed you
a high-definition scan of the telegram signed
by LRH where he confirmed that I was the
world's first Clear. So, let's not start
invalidating and squirreling original
Source written scripture!

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
I see...so...um.....we still really need to
get you to come into the org to pick up your Clear
completion certificate and get your photo taken. You need
to come in right away. How close is your airport
so we can have someone who lives locally come
to your home right now and drive you there.

FLOYD FLOAT
Hey, I already have a certificate from Ron that says
"WORLD'S FIRST CLEAR", I'll send you
a photo of it right now. Hey it was nice
talking to you, I've got to get going...Bye!

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
WAIT!!!!!!!!! WAIT!!!!!! WAIT!!!!!! I've got a very special
confidential VIP r-factor for you from the Senior CS
that was just rush-hand-delivered to my desk this very second. I
need to read it to you. It's really urgent that I give you this R-Factor!!!

FLOYD FLOAT
Wutttt? What is it now?

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
Something has just come up, and you have to come into
the AO immediately before it's too late!!!

FLOYD FLOAT
Something just came up now while you're talking to me, even though
I haven't ever been to a Scientology center in the past in 60 years?
And something just came up? Seriously?

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
Yeah, it's just terrible and it doesn't even matter if you have a persistent F/N
because it's a matter of life and death and it just came up,
so you need get in here immediately!

FLOYD FLOAT
What??? What just came up?

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
Ron discovered that Clears are going to die if they don't come in
and do OT III. We care about you and love you so much
so we don't want you to die.

FLOYD FLOAT
I appreciate that but what is OT III and when did it come up?

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
It just came up 75 million years ago.

FLOYD FLOAT
It just came up......75 MILLION years ago? LOL

ADVANCED ORG REGISTRAR
Yeah, Ron discovered that 75 million years ago is
just like yesterday for a thetan. So it's really
urgent that you fly here today so
we can get all this data into
your PC folders and
give it to the
Senior
C/S
!



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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Glycol and alcohol are used for auto antifreeze. How stupid is that?! :LOL:
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ANSWER: Wayyyyy stupid, LOL.

But not nearly as stupid as the fact that for trillions of years, all of us thetans could have used Dr. Hubbard's ANTI-FREEZE TECH to avoid the "ICE CUBE INCIDENTS" that were scientifically detailed in the book "A History of Man".

Ice Cube Incident
A Xenu-like story in which alien invaders in flying saucers "plant" living entities. Says Hubbard in A History of Man: "Here is an intriguing incident which, if your preclear demands, should be audited. This is evidently a method of transportation of beings to a new area. The being is packed in ice, is taken to the new area and is usually dumped in the ocean. Your preclear, if he has this one in restimulation, has very cold hands and feet chronically". Hubbard also notes: "The new crew in the area is later quite surprised to find that their planted beings, so carefully dumped in the sea from a saucer, are being picked up between lives and given "treatment" by an old, established invader whose methods of political control are long since established".​
The wholetrack Ice Cube Incident should not be confused with a 20th century implant called the Overboarding Incident, wherein the being is packed in false promises, false data and false accusations and dumped in the ocean.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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cross-posted from
another thread

Originally Posted by Karen de la Carriere

When you first join the cult of Scientology, you are taught "Man is BASICALLY GOOD". When you depart the cult years even decades later, you learn you are basically EVIL (Declared SP). I explain more in this video.

Almost all of Scientology technology and practice is 2 things:

1) Finding out and pulling your secrets, your dark deeds, your "Crimes" your EVIL and your EVIL Intentions.
2) The Exorcism of the attached spirits which Hubbard says are attached you spiritually, or to the body you inhabit.


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Brilliant summary of Scientology, Karen!

Your video contains a HALL OF FAME NOMINATION in the category of:


BEST SYNOPSIS OF SCIENTOLOGY'S
10 MILLION WORDS OF SACREDLY SUPER-STUPID SCRIPTURE
IN LESS THAN 10 WORDS

"Scientology simplified. It's O/Ws and Body Thetans, that's it!"


Therefore, Scientology's Bridge To Total Freedom = 2 auditing processes:

1. "What are your crimes?"
2. "Who/What are your BTs?"

The 1st command is asked any time at all--in or out of session.

The 2nd set of commands is asked directly to your ghosts, to try and make them stop haunting you and leave. (i.e. "Who are you?" and/or "What are you?")

Yeah, I can see how all that would be the "science of mental health", lol.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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KONFOUNDING KULT KONUNDRUM:

On the highest and most miraculous advanced levels of Scientology (i.e. OT Levels 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8) your challenge is to find 75 million year old aliens that are haunting you and make them leave. As noted in the previous post, the super-confidential technology to exorcise demon spirits is the auditing command: "WHO ARE YOU?"

The tech states that when the alien ghost is asked that question, they will immediately cognite on WHO THEY ARE and EXTERIORIZE! Naturally, when they go exterior, they instantly ESCAPE from this "slave planet".

This is quite amazing for several reasons:

1) Scientologists spend 30-50 years to reach OT VIII, where the end phenomena is cogniting and attesting that they DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE. (They literally attest to: "I now know who I am not and I am interested to find out who I am." )​
2) After spending somewhere between $600K and $1M each, Scientologists still DON'T HAVE THE ABILITY TO EXTERIORIZE.
3) After all that monumental waste of money, effort and time, OT VIIIs still DON'T ESCAPE FROM THIS SLAVE PLANET (i.e. Scientology).

KSW KONGAME KONCLUSION: The supposed SPs & DBs (the body thetans) are actually the only beings with the (above 3 detailed) miraculous OT abilities. Conversely, the "degraded" thetans who have no paranormal powers whatsoever are the ones who are wildly cheered, awarded OT certificates and photographed for magazine covers proudly wearing OT necklaces.

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Type4_PTS

Well-known member
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KSW KONGAME KONCLUSION: The supposed SPs & DBs (the body thetans) are actually the only beings with the (above 3 detailed) miraculous OT abilities. Conversely, the "degraded" thetans who have no paranormal powers whatsoever are the ones who are wildly cheered, awarded OT certificates and photographed for magazine covers proudly wearing OT necklaces.
What if the body thetans conspired to create Scientology to give themselves Total Freedom at our expense? :ohmy:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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What if the body thetans conspired to create Scientology
to give themselves Total Freedom at our expense? :ohmy:
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LOL LOL LOL

If that is true I demand reparations for racism!

My people were left behind! I am still part of the homo sapiens (human) race! Now I am abandoned and stuck on this slave planet---while the BTs are out there in deep space "partying like it's 75,000,099! (BC)*



* BC - abbv: 1) Before Cult .2) 75,000,099 BC is a wholetrack date which is the same as 99 BX (99 years before Xenu)

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Karen#1

Well-known member
HH ~~

No No NO By accident it posted before I finished the post. Editing it now to finish the post.
I would never disparage you dear HH
 
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