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SCIENTOLOGY'S PROBLEM: People on this planet don't want Scientology. After 70 years and many billions of dollars of promotion, the Church Of Scientology still only has approximately 20,000 active members worldwide.
- STADIUM THAT SEATS 20,000 PEOPLE -
SCIENTOLOGY'S COSMIC COMPLICATION: The more Scientology promotes and coerces people to buy its lavishly expensive yet worthless products, the more people become aware of its avaricious fraud. Thus the harder the cult tries to force the public to love Ron and his technology---the faster becomes the viral spread of the public's rejection & ridicule of their hoax.
SCIENTOLOGY SPOTS THE SOURCE OF THEIR PROBLEM AND MAKES IT VANISH: They do this every year, but the problem never vanishes . So they come up with a new solution the next year---and they have done this for 70 years and 70 sure-fire "miraculous breakthroughs" that failed. Half the time Scientology's solution is a new auditing "rundown" and the other half its a new way to market the old rundown.
WE CAN'T CLEAR THE PLANET BECAUSE (examples):
- - OT III: The solution to why Clears are still degraded humans with psychosomatic disease, bad memories, low tone levels, money problems and mental illness. [ Explanation: "You really did attain the miraculous state of Clear, but you have hundreds of thousands of invisible pre-Clear aliens that are screwing up your life!" ]
- - EXPANDED DIANETICS: Explanation: "Ron meant it when he told you that "man is basically good", but you have a little problem there pal. Ya see, when Ron said that he didn't know that you have been doing some horrible things on the wholetrack and you decided to develop 'evil purposes', which is not Ron's fault at all. However, these evil purposes can be audited out and your full and glorious state of Clear will then be yours to enjoy for eternity!")
- - IDEAL ORGS: Obviously we could not Clear the planet before because our orgs have linoleum floors and the tech only works on Italian marble floors.
- - CELEBRITIES: We couldn't Clear the planet because we need movie stars. When we have movie stars then people will finally believe that we can cure cancer and fly out of our bodies. We can't just show them the miracles because that would be a "parlor trick" which Ron said we don't do. But Ron did say that it's okay for a moviestar to talk about our miracles.
- - DRUGS: We couldn't Clear the planet because everyone is on drugs, either this lifetime or on the wholetrack--which clouds their thinking so that they are not able to believe our miraculous claims. However, we now can fix all that with the Purification Rundown which is so miraculous that you not only get out your this lifetime drugs but you also sweat out drugs you took trillions of years ago in other bodies.
- - PEOPLE ARE CREEPED OUT BY OUR ORGS: They won't come inside for reasons we don't know, but we can fix that by sending out Scientologists into the environment in yellow shirts to set up yellow tents. Once wogs are told to come in the tent where we can touch their bodies all over with our index fingers, they will stop being creeped out and want to pay $600,000 for Total Freedom.
- - PEOPLE DON'T LOVE OUR TECH BECAUSE THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT: Our bright idea this year is to sell them the Student Hat course so they can comprehend what they are reading. Once they finish the Student Hat Course they will never blow Scientology from "misunderstoods" and they will stop feeling "feeling blank" when we ask they where they are hiding cash & charge cards from us.
- - PEOPLE WON'T REACH FOR SCIENTOLOGY BECAUSE THEY NEED RON: That's why they won't buy Ron's books! We can solve this so easily by giving them free books with our "LIBRARY DONATION PROGRAM". Then they don't have to even come in our Ideal Orgs or buy anything and they can read all of Ron's tech for free! Once they read our Founder's words they will have a personal relationship with him and they'll be literally throwing money at us and begging for auditing.
FAQ:
QUESTION: Wait, didn't Ron write a policy called "Free Service Free Fall" that made it a HIGH CRIME and SUPPRESSIVE ACT to ever give any Scientology to someone who hadn't paid dearly for it? Didn't Ron also state that if you give any Scientology benefits to someone who hasn't paid bundles of money, it will make that person into a "criminal"? So, how can you now put free Scientology books in all the 117,000 libraries across the USA----wouldn't that create a crimewave?
ANSWER: Not at all. You see we don't actually give Ron's priceless tech away for free. Every book we donate to a library is paid for by a Scientologist!
QUESTION: Okay that makes sense. Um, what?! Wait a minute! If a Scientologist pays for the "free book", the wog in the library still never paid for it! So how do they not become a criminal?
ANSWER: Um, well....you won't really understand it until you get on your upper OT levels.
QUESTION: Try me.
ANSWER: Okay, this is very upper level OT material but I can give you a confidential r-factor. You see, Ron discovered something called "Pan Determinism" where an uptone OT being takes total responsibility for not only themselves but other beings as well. Okay, so the Scientologist who pays for the library donation books is "taking full responsibility" for the wog getting free LRH books.
QUESTION: Interesting! So, can one of these uptone pan-determined OTs take total responsibility for paying for me to go up the Bridge to also become an uptone pan-determined OT?
ANSWER: No. That would make you a criminal. Nothing is free here because this is a church--not a library!
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