TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

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More Flag (the mecca of technical perfection)
the greatest sideshow/circus on earth)

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In fact, there is nothing wrong with Scientology's tech.

They only need snazzier copywriting with catchier jingles that make people wanna donate and show off their new lapel pins.

example (2027 new church MOTTO):

FLAG...the MECCA OF TECCH-A
Guaranteed you'll go OT or you get a free Secca Checkka!


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[Type4_PTS]

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In fact, there is nothing wrong with Scientology's tech.

They only need snazzier copywriting with catchier jingles that make people wanna donate and show off their new lapel pins.

example (2027 new church MOTTO):

FLAG the MECCA OF TECCH-A
Guaranteed you'll go OT or you get a free Secca Checkka!


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[guanoloco]

...you Stage 4 Needle squirrels!

There's nothing "free" in Scientology! That would collapse the bank! - get it...the bank...as in ca-ching.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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posted by Type4_PTS

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LOL LOL LOL!

That is hilarious....i love so many things about that cartoony cult cacophony!

However. . . if i was forced to pick my very very very favorite element, it would have to be that sleazy cult pitchman.

—because he promises to deliver impossible things with total certainty

I luvvv that guy!

( ...that guy is so perfect, i think we need to give him a cool
name so he can network with other power OTs like Billy
Blowdown! Like all cult pitchmen, his certainty
is an unwavering, unshakeable tone 40! )

Introducing Scientology's #1 power registrar and conniving cult closer...

CONRAD "CON" CONFIDENCE


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[Type4_PTS]

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posted by Type4_PTS

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LOL LOL LOL!

That is hilarious....i love so many things about that cartoony cult cacophony!

However. . . if i was forced to pick my very very very favorite element, it would have to be that sleazy cult pitchman.

—because he promises to deliver impossible things with total certainty

I luvvv that guy!

( ...that guy is so perfect, i think we need to give him a cool
name so he can network with other power OTs like Billy
Blowdown! Like all cult pitchmen, his certainty
is an unwavering, unshakeable tone 40! )

Introducing Scientology's #1 power registrar and conniving cult closer...

CONRAD "CON" CONFIDENCE


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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OMG, LOL!

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[Type4_PTS]

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( ...that guy is so perfect, i think we need to give him a cool
name so he can network with other power OTs like Billy
Blowdown! Like all cult pitchmen, his certainty
is an unwavering, unshakeable tone 40! )

Introducing Scientology's #1 power registrar and conniving cult closer...

CONRAD "CON" CONFIDENCE

.​

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He and Billy are already working closely together. Conrad has been auditing him on some levels that have not yet been released.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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He and Billy are already working closely together. Conrad has been auditing him on some levels that have not yet been released.



View attachment 29872

LOL

I am pretty concerned about Billy's e-meter reading.

Is that the time (10:06 pm)?

Or is that Billy's TA reading after Conrad wildly OVERRAN the process for several hours? It seems that Conrad just made up a new havingness process during the session when he noticed that Billy was nearly out of hours on the last intensive he purchased from Conrad's field practice. The command was given to Billy over 2700 times and I believe that's when his tone arm soared to 1,006.

CONRAD CONFIDENCE
We are going to continue running this havingness process
to full EP. I repeat the auditing command: "Look around
your wallet and find something I can have."

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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He and Billy are already working closely together. Conrad has been auditing him on some levels that have not yet been released.

LOL

To be perfectly honest, I am starting to have DOUBTS about Conrad's claim that he is the richest man in the world and
that whole thing about being a triple-trillionaire sounds like something Grant Cardone would claim. . .

In fact, after looking at Conrad's uniform, I am starting to suspect that he is a minimum-wage baggage handler
for Southwest Airlines.

 

[Type4_PTS]

LOL

To be perfectly honest, I am starting to have DOUBTS about Conrad's claim that he is the richest man in the world and
that whole thing about being a triple-trillionaire sounds like something Grant Cardone would claim. . .

In fact, after looking at Conrad's uniform, I am starting to suspect that he is a minimum-wage baggage handler
for Southwest Airlines.

I can't explain what the e-meter is showing, but after the session, Billy felt absolutely incredible with rock-solid certainty that he could now walk on water, and was grateful that OT 10 only set him back $110,000 U.S. dollars. That was less than he paid for the L's.

He decided to try out his new ability, so he stepped off the Freewinds into the ocean. It didn't go so well.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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SCIENTOLOGY'S SENIOR POLICY
"Always Deliver What You Promise"

SCIENTOLOGY'S ACTUAL SENIOR POLICY
"Always Promise Anything
That Will Deliver Money"
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DOES L. RON HUBBARD OR SCIENTOLOGY DELIVER ANY OF THEIR PROMISES?

Perfect Memory? NO​

Ability to communicate to anyone about anything? NO​

Ability to recognize the source of problems and make them vanish? NO​

The state of Clear? NO​

The state of Operating Thetan? NO​

Freedom from overwhelm? NO​

Ability to exteriorize from the body with full perception? NO​

Ability to "knock off hats at fifty yards"? NO​

Total Cause over life? NO​

A disease-free body? NO​

No psychosomatic illness? NO​

Wholetrack recall of past lives? NO​

Total Freedom? NO​

Ability to "postulate" any desire or wish into existence? NO​

Total Knowingness? NO​

The ability to be in "Power" on all 8 Dynamics? NO​

Total Happiness? NO​

Immortality? NO​

Safeguarding your eternity? NO​

Freedom from implant stations? NO​

Ability to easily cure others of cancer and all diseases? NO​

Vast riches that will result from "flowing money to the Bridge"? NO​

Discovering all the secrets and mysteries of Life? NO​

Acquiring the "tech" to handle any problem that ever arises? NO​

Case cracking auditing that will solve the reason that you did not receive any of the above promised "miracles"? NO​

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[ILove2Lurk]

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What's going on here? Nothing? Nada?

A "mercy like" for you for the above post:

"Down and Out in Beverly Hills"



¯\_(ツ)_/¯​

 

[ILove2Lurk]

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WHAT DID L. RON HUBBARD OR SCIENTOLOGY ACTUALLY DELIVER . . . FOR ME?

Mental capability to comfortably hold a fantastical idea (delusion) in place for decades with relative calm and clarity​

Can easily lie to anyone and everyone about my financial worth or status​

Learned to say "no, no, and no" under remarkable pressures in sales and other situations​

Ability to maintain an enduring blind hope, an optimism for many outcomes lacking evidence or proofs​

Top-flight skills with a demo kit​

Top-flight skills writing success stories​

Capability to imagine and mock up an endless number of past life scenarios in all four flows​

Performance skills to act and fake the part of an actual OT to the satisfaction of others​

Cognitive dissonance off the charts with a calm​

Belief in a new god-substitute and "religion," taking the place of, lets say, Jesus, Allah, Werner Erhard, Osho (Rajneesh) or any others​

An enduring interest (to this day) in show The X-Files and wondering when the alien invasion will begin​

To name a few, lol . . .

All boils down to one word . . . a great imagination!

In a pensive moment of self-reflection.

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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What's going on here? Nothing? Nada?

A "mercy like" for you for the above post:

View attachment 29930View attachment 29931

"Down and Out in Beverly Hills"

View attachment 29932

¯\_(ツ)_/¯​

A fitting end to the STUPID THREAD- - -a "mercy like" for post #4,991 (above).

And to top that, the photo of Don Hubbard in sweet repose whilst in Dianetic reverie,
just after exteriorizing from his mest encumbrance on this planet, so that he
could courageously venture into deep space to do advanced research for us!

THE STUPID THREAD HAS OFFICIALLY BECOME A DIVE THREAD! LOL
(see associated definition/derivation at dive bar)


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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WHAT DID L. RON HUBBARD OR SCIENTOLOGY ACTUALLY DELIVER . . . FOR ME?

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Ability to define, clay demo and use the word "cult" in sentences. ​

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Disbelieving, zero-flow head-shaking at self due to the cringeful folly of having believed that erasing non-existent engrams and BTs would save the planet and endow me with immortality & magical powers. ​

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The ability to rise above "total certainty" on the tone scale up to "tone 41" (humility).​

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[ILove2Lurk]

THE STUPID THREAD HAS OFFICIALLY BECOME A DIVE THREAD! LOL

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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posted by ILove2Lurk

Final day of Don Hubbard's
Going Out of Business Sale

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[ILove2Lurk]

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Mike Rinder's A Billion Years book has been on sale
for $1.99 on Kindle the past week or so on Amazon.
I picked it up so I can do key word searches, if I'm
ever curious.

I noticed right below it was another scientology related
new release being offered for $29.99 in hardback.
He must have been working on this book since I haven't
seen him around here as much recently. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[Type4_PTS]

I noticed right below it was another scientology related
new release being offered for $29.99 in hardback.
He must have been working on this book since I haven't
seen him around here as much recently. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

View attachment 29938​

I heard Don's got quite a book tour lined up, along with appearances on
The View and other shows.

 

[Enthetan]

This guy looks a bit like Don Hubbard