Dear MAQ,
I'm going to attempt to answer your questions.
First of all, I'm a bit of a "moderate" here. While many posting on this forum are vehemently anti-tech, I do believe there is something of value there.
[1] I myself have had success with dianetics -- once the areas I wanted addressed were addressed. There is a tendency to look only at the Dianetic Original Assessment Sheet, and ask the client questions in those areas (like problems you've had with your mother). Once this list is finished, you are done, and you've never had a chance to talk about what was on your mind. The OAS covers a lot but it also tends to "box you in" to only discussing what was on the list.
Having said that, the results you get ARE permanent. But it's easy to not dig deep enough, and while some part of a particular traumatized area may be cleaned out, any bits and pieces that were left will get you. (Aside: there are "wins" and there are "gains". Wins are temporary, like the feeling you get when you win a race. Gains are permanent, like building up your leg muscles by practicing every day.)
But dianetics, while it was designed to handle moments of shock, will not fix ALL such moments. Some things are just too deep for dianetics to deal with. (I myself have had a broken relationship that I'm still struggling with).
[2] If you define "clear" as being eligible to receive a certificate saying you have attained the state of clear, it took me about 5 to 6 years. If you define it as attaining all the qualities a clear is SUPPOSED to have, according to the hype, it has never been done. L. Ron Hubbard made it a point to claim as much "result" as he could for each level, knowing that most people if not all would never achieve all the results. (This was his way of growing his church as quickly as possible.)
[3] Self-analysis lists are generally NOT part of an auditing program. (Exception: the next-to-last list in the book IS included in the standard bridge. They call it ARC Straightwire.) It might be a good idea to just buy the book and do it, before even talking to them about auditing, if you want to "do the program". You can finish in a few weeks if you keep at it.
[4] You are encouraged to become a member right away; but I'm sure there's a point where you will NOT be permitted to continue without a membership card. They have a six-month free introductory membership to get you started. (I remember being reluctant to accept this, wanting to know a bit more about the organization before I join it. They didn't care to explain what it was all about until I made them, concentrating instead on the fact it was free. Which is a bit strange because they have a policy of refusing services to anyone who joins an opposing group; not caring if you agree with that group or not, just joining it is sufficient to make you "one of them".)
But I haven't encountered an independent group or practitioner that has any sort of membership at all. (If you do want auditing, I strongly recommend the independents -- a lot less ********.)
[5] Yes, you ARE expected to re-experience the incident over and over again. Otherwise it wouldn't work. The ultimate goal is "revivification", where you experience it just like it was happening in the present. But once you have accomplished this, the practitioner is supposed to stop, and you're supposed to have a great feeling of relief.
If you DO get overwhelmed, the fix is always to keep doing it -- until "you come out the other side". 1950's style dianetics sessions could run for many hours.
[6] If there is some incident that is just TOO MUCH for you to talk about, then say so. They're supposed to work those incidents you CAN deal with first, and then when you're stronger, go back to "the big one".
[7] They make a big deal about confidentiality, but there is no confidentiality WITHIN the church. If you confess to a big crime, you can bet they'll go straight to the Ethics Officer (the last person you would want to know) and tell HIM all about it.
[8] I consider dianetics to be an outgrowth of Freudian abreaction therapy. Hubbard said dianetics was "a bolt from the blue" as if it had no precedent. Not true. To answer your question, the wording of the commands is slightly different, that's all.
[9] I myself was terrified of communication. (Maybe I was really terrified of people in general.) The TR's let you practice communication skills in a structured environment. This is good for those who communicate poorly, but since auditing consists mainly of communicating back and forth, its main purpose is to empower future auditors to do their job better.
I hope this has helped.
Helena