Alex P. Keaton
Never-in
I do have one final prediction, but my crystal ball is fuzzy. I'll have to go past my January 31 deadline. I'll try to write my prediction this coming weekend.
2022 Scientology Predictions
- Thread starter Alex P. Keaton
- Start date
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
I understand. Personally I am still working on predictions for 2021. By the time I am done, 2021 may well become my most successful year of predictions yet! LOL
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Alex P. Keaton
Never-in
Sometime in [the remainder of] 2022, I will drive my green four-door sedan to Clearwater. I will park in the loading zone in front of the Fort Harrison. I will go in and ask to see Mike Rinder's son. (According to the Emmy screener DVD I have of Leah Remini's "Scientology and the Aftermath" he works there.) They will bring him to the front desk immediately. I will tell him his father wants to meet with him, and he will come with me, get in my car and that will be the last that Scientology will ever see of him. Scientology will be so stunned by this audacious act they will not have time to tow my car, vandalize it or even call the police. Mike and his son will be reunited and will live happily ever after, and will never be harassed by Scientology again.
When I come to Clearwater, I will wear a T-shirt (note to OSA: this is how you will know it's me) that says "The King James Bible got the semicolons right the first time" on the front and "King James Bible – No New Edition since 1611" on the back. I will give Mike Rinder's son a T-shirt and he will put it on before even getting into my car. His T-shirt will say "I gave my heart and soul to Scientology for decades and I didn't even get this lousy T-shirt".
When I come to Clearwater, I will wear a T-shirt (note to OSA: this is how you will know it's me) that says "The King James Bible got the semicolons right the first time" on the front and "King James Bible – No New Edition since 1611" on the back. I will give Mike Rinder's son a T-shirt and he will put it on before even getting into my car. His T-shirt will say "I gave my heart and soul to Scientology for decades and I didn't even get this lousy T-shirt".
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Alex P. Keaton
Never-in
As I write these words, the US Navy's aircraft carrier USS Kitty Hawk has been sold for one penny to be dismantled for scrap. In a case of "Tom Cruise condo envy", John Travolta will insist that David Miscavige buy the aircraft carrier for JT's personal use. Miscavige will buy it before it can be scrapped, but will see this as a "New Era Ideal Freewinds" and try to keep it for himself.
The US Coast Guard and various environmental groups will object to the environmental destruction the ship will cause, but when DM hires Kendrick Moxon's law firm to cite Scientology's "religious" status, the authorities will have no choice but to allow the ship to dock in Florida.
As the Sea Org begins to explore the extensive repairs a ship like this will surely need, DM will begin reaching out to the whales and fundraising for the cost of the renos needed on this new asbestos-laden tub. When JT realizes that DM wants to keep the boat for himself and use it as the new "Ideal Freewinds", tempers will rise to the boiling point. At one point, DM will even discover JOHN TRAVOLTA'S TOUPEE (from the predictions a couple of years ago) being used as a mop and will put this now-stinky hairpiece on JT's head to humiliate him.
(My crystal ball does not tell me why JT didn't realize that DM owns everything anyway, and JT just needs to live with it. EDIT: I apologize for the lateness of this entire prediction, but my crystal ball remained fuzzy on this one detail, and delayed this post. But at some point, you just have to post what you can.)
Tom Cruise will calmly suggest that Kirstie Alley be brought on board to settle the dispute.
When Kirstie Alley arrives on the ship, it will begin to list to one side from the weight of both this washed-up actress and her body thetans. Hurricane Leah will slam into Florida, and specifically the harbor where the Kitty Hawk is now moored. The ship will capsize and sink. Despite the fact that the ship is moored in a harbor, there will be many drowning deaths. This will be covered in the mainstream US news media and we will all have a hearty laugh at Scientology's expense.
The US Coast Guard and various environmental groups will object to the environmental destruction the ship will cause, but when DM hires Kendrick Moxon's law firm to cite Scientology's "religious" status, the authorities will have no choice but to allow the ship to dock in Florida.
As the Sea Org begins to explore the extensive repairs a ship like this will surely need, DM will begin reaching out to the whales and fundraising for the cost of the renos needed on this new asbestos-laden tub. When JT realizes that DM wants to keep the boat for himself and use it as the new "Ideal Freewinds", tempers will rise to the boiling point. At one point, DM will even discover JOHN TRAVOLTA'S TOUPEE (from the predictions a couple of years ago) being used as a mop and will put this now-stinky hairpiece on JT's head to humiliate him.
(My crystal ball does not tell me why JT didn't realize that DM owns everything anyway, and JT just needs to live with it. EDIT: I apologize for the lateness of this entire prediction, but my crystal ball remained fuzzy on this one detail, and delayed this post. But at some point, you just have to post what you can.)
Tom Cruise will calmly suggest that Kirstie Alley be brought on board to settle the dispute.
When Kirstie Alley arrives on the ship, it will begin to list to one side from the weight of both this washed-up actress and her body thetans. Hurricane Leah will slam into Florida, and specifically the harbor where the Kitty Hawk is now moored. The ship will capsize and sink. Despite the fact that the ship is moored in a harbor, there will be many drowning deaths. This will be covered in the mainstream US news media and we will all have a hearty laugh at Scientology's expense.
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