Thanks a lot everyone
I couldn't reply earlier coz i got a little busy with work and honestly i wasn't expecting so many people to respond. I thought i would probably get a few responses in a few weeks time; kind of a typical response from a chronic negative thinker, i guess. Anyhow, I've read all of your comments and found them quite informative. Some of the comments posted by
@Glenda ,
@Type4_PTS &
@Helena Handbasket were profoundly detailed and helpful. Those are some really good suggestions and guiding principles you guys mentioned there
Just to give you guys a clear picture of where i am coming from, I have already gone down the conventional medicine route and I feel the same about psychiatry as you guys do about scientology. The big fancy degrees and the coveted rigorous training that doctors boast about dont usually do much good when they dont have a damn clue as to how do the drugs work inside the body. All the so-called studies are funded by the pharmaceutical companies themselves and none of those studeis actually consider the long term effects of these drugs. And the thing i dislike the most is the lack of transparency. Most of the doctors wont share with you even the well-established documented side effects of these drugs, neither do they talk about their addictive nature and the horrible withdrawal effects you experience when you finally decide to quit taking the drugs. And their diagostic manual (dsm-5) seems like a total scam coz they dont really have any tests whatsoever to diagnose a person of a particular mental condition. Its quite probable that the side effects you get from a psych drug will give you new symptoms which will later be diagnosed by the exact same doctor as a new mental illness. So, one ought to be prepared to have their diagnosis changed multiple times through their treatment. Its a pretty shady practice if you ask me.
I have also attended conventional therapy sessions for a considerable amount of time. There were parts of CBT that i found helpful but it wasn't really a solution to my problems rather a managing tool and it wasn't helpful in dealing with my childhood traumas. It did help with OCD and general anxiety to some extent though. I also got to learn about some useful relaxation techniques like body scan, visual imagery, progressive muscle relaxation, breathing exercises etc.
Having said that, i kinda have been practicing some of the CBT techniques since i was a kid to survive the abuse. To me they have merely been common sense approaches to dealing with pain & suffering. I would often close my eyes and go to my happy place just to run away from the reality and i would feel ecstatic and calm. I would also go on walks and look at flowers, trees and everything around with focused attention. It would often stop the negative rut in my head and calm me down but it has a downside to it as well. I now suffer from something commonly referred to as depersonalization. I dont feel grounded in my body rather i feel like i am someone else watching me from behind or above, if it makes any sense. Also, i seem to have lost control over my thoughys. I find myself inadvertently drifting to what i would call vivid daydreams. Its quite annoying to say the least.
A few guys here mentioned exercise and diet. They are indubitably helpful in alleviating stress and improving mental health and i had been using exercise as a coping mechanism my entire life, to the point of addiction i must add but unfortunately i cant anymore coz of fibromyalgia (a pain disorder). I have been trying to ignore my emotional problems since forever and have been living as a goal-driven perfectionist junkie just to find a way to mask my feelings and look for the next dopamine hit which i would get by exercising or completing projects or solving puzzles etc. etc. and there comes a point in your life when your body says 'NO' for you. One thing that i've learned in my life is that if you aren't at peace with yourself, even seemingly safe and healthy activities could become addictive. Or may be its the OCD, i am not sure. My OCD is quite different from the typical 'washing your hands' or 'checking the doors' over and over again kind of behavioral patterns. When i am working on a project, for example, i get obsessed with completing it and cant stop thinking about it even when i am not working on it. When i go to bed, i keep thinking about what i am gonna do tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and so on even though i make a list of planned activities beforehand.
I think i am gonna use multiple therapies to address different issues as suggested by
@Type4_PTS . And i am probably gonna start with an EFT based therapy. Have found someone who is a Master EFT & NLP practitioner. She specializes in trauma. So, looks like a good fit. Also thinking about visiting a neurofeedback therapist to deal with my drug withdrawals. Will combine the CBT techniques that i found helpful as well. Let's see how it goes!
