TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

You know what's stupid and really, really pisses me off?

It's when people call Scientology a "UFO" cult.

That's sooooooooooooo stupid! Hahahahahahahahahahahah!

I mean, c'mon, they're DC-8s and they're Xenu's so they're IDENTIFIED Flyin Objects!!

Gawwwd!

View attachment 411

God I'd forgotten about that one! I always wanted at least three of their Tees and that's one of them!

 
God I'd forgotten about that one! I always wanted at least three of their Tees and that's one of them!


Me too.
 
There
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Right on!

For more Real-talk, here's an R factor from- - -



RON'S RELIGIOUS RAPPER
Everybody with me, we gonna say the Lord's Prayer
Throw y'all dollahs in the air, like u jus' don't care
Talkin' bout da age of Enlightment, just like Voltaire
Gonna turn your wanderin' doubt into dedicated glare
Ya bettah donate all y'all cash or u gonna get declare!

.​
:LOL:
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posted by freethinker
I like to call it "stretch to fit policy". Words are added or deleted depending on the situation to accommodate the policy enforcer.
Like the one about
"outflow equals inflow", No one has ever produced the policy that says that but it was a number one policy in Boston.


posted by Type4_PTS
I thought that that was in one of the policies about writing letters to central files?
Maybe we can ask Billy about that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -​

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I sent your technical query uplines to Billy Blowdown and just received his on-source, super-theta answer:


posted by Billy Blowdown​
​
In Ron's HCO Policy Letter of 6 July 1959 entitled "OUTFLOW", Ron states: "Outflow is holier, more moral, more remunerative and more effective than inflow."​
​
Although it is not the precise verbatim quote you asked about----it proves the self-evident axiom that "outflow = inflow"--- because you did not outflow your question to enough people to inflow the answer. ​
​
Personally, I have recently had an unprecedented win on applying "outflow = inflow" that I'd like to share. I wrote checks for all the money I had in my business and personal bank accounts the the WAY TO HAPPINESS program. Although now I am unable to pay rent, car payment and other monthly bills---I am totally blown away that there is about to be a huge inflow on my financial lines! ​
​
In addition to that miraculous win, I also can't stop line charging because once we reach our goal of outflowing 1 million Way To Happiness pamphlets in Columbia, it will get rid of all the drug cartels! Because LRH says right in there to not do drugs or do anything illegal, so when the drug Lords read that, they will cognite and stop committing overts. Naturally they will want to flow power to Ron, so we we will be inflowing their billions of dollars---again proving outflow = inflow. ​
​
It's all so simple if we just follow Ron's advice and send our outflow particles uplines where the OTs are who are saving our eternities! ​
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Cringe. I recall a LRH reference about "flow power to power"
All Scientologists are expected to give everything to Scientology, who never flows anything back.
For Scientology, your money, labor and blood is never enough. Scientology has an insatiable appetite for money and blood.
 
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The hoax of Scientology entirely depends upon this tech triptych:

1) Focusing and fixating its victims attention not on evidencing the supernatural abilities it is selling, but instead on the ruin that is preventing the mark from enjoying those miraculous powers.​
​
2) Announcing with triumphant certainty that "Scientology can handle that (ruin)" rhetorical bait and immediately switching to any misdirection that causes the mark to stupidly not ask for proof or even politely question that blatantly fraudulent claim.​
​
3) Having successfully installed the "stupid software" in the newly created & credulous cult member, the entire conversation once again instantly switches to helping the drowning mark to catch their only slim chance of surviving---by grabbing buying the life preserver.​
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​
Homo Sapiens Life Saver (non-functional)​
1570991556737.png​
​


Homo Novis Life Preserver (100% workable)
1570991974483.png​

​
​
.​

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You know what's stupid and really, really pisses me off? It's when people call Scientology a "UFO" cult. That's sooooooooooooo stupid! Hahahahahahahahahahahah!

I mean, c'mon, they're DC-8s and they're Xenu's so they're IDENTIFIED Flyin Objects!! Gawwwd!

LOL, good point!

So let me get this right---- Scientology is not a "UFO CULT", itsa DC-8 CULT.

The "8" represents the infinity symbol.

Ergo, DC-8 = Infinitely Delusional Cult.

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I wanted to post that priceless image again in case anyone missed the link you included.







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GURUTECH MARKETING TIP: When DBs on this planet are not able enough to make it go right to flow power uplines, encourage them in a theta way with inspirational advice like: "You got a nice kid there---it'd be a shame if anything happened to him. So, pay or the kid dies!"

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When I saw that "chances are slim at best" I decided then and there that I have to get the fuck out of this thing. Wasting my time.
 
..

DB (degraded branding)

1570994095475.png






OB (operating branding)

JUST BUY IT.
1570994210924.png

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When I saw that "chances are slim at best" I decided then and there that I have to get the fuck out of this thing. Wasting my time.


Excellent example. That is but one (1) One of the multitude of Doomsday Prophecies that form the fabric upon which Scientology scripture is imprinted.

Scientology positions itself as "Mankind's Only Hope". If one removes all the breathlessly hyperbolic bombast--all that remains is a very simple marketing message. PAY OR DIE!

Hubbard's cult---at its core---is precisely the "SP Merchant of Chaos" that is purports to save the world from. It has zero chance of "saving the world" or anyone in it--but it nonetheless acquired billions by scaring victims into buying their end-times insurance policies.

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winteregg.png




FREE CULT-SPEAK TRANSLATOR APP:

CULT PROMISE: "HOW TO HANDLE ANGRY, APATHETIC AND ANTAGONISTIC PEOPLE"
CULT MEANS: Declare them.

CULT PROMISE: "THE BEST & EASIEST PIECE OF TECH TO APPLY WITH CO-WORKERS, FAMILY AND PEOPLE YOU ASSOCIATE WITH"
CULT MEANS: Disconnect from them.

CULT PROMISE: "HOW TO TAKE OFF"
CULT MEANS:
You're a fucking SP, get out of the org! You heard me, "TAKE OFF" before we call the police!

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From another thread discussing how cult guru David Miscavige (like Hubbard) was a drunk. The material was originally revealed in Tony Ortega's always entertaining & enlightening "Underground Bunker"; CLICK HERE FOR COMPLETE ARTICLE

What, we asked her, was the private information she knew that Miscavige didn’t want the rest of the world to know?

“That he drank. Every night. . . "

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posted by ILove2Lurk:

Collector Ceramic ~ Donation $2500

1571002442835.png

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LOL!

That one is from the confidential "Book Of Case Remedies" that elite OTs use when their miraculous mojo is momentarily malfunctioning.

When the bank gets restimulated--
Parishioners get donating and
Cult gurus get shit-faced.
​

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- -


When the bank gets restimulated--
Parishioners get donating and
Cult gurus get shit-faced.



MAXIMIZED MAXIM

When bank restimulation gets tough--
PC donations get flowing and
the sane get
going blowing.



.​
 
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Nominated for one of the Stupidest Moments in Scientology:

THE MOMENT EVERY TIME A SCIENTOLOGY
GURU GOT CAUGHT IN A BOLDFACED LIE
​

example: Any one of the dozens of celebratory moments Hubbard claimed he had created "The world's first Clear!"--and although the Clear could easily remember what they ate for lunch trillions of years ago, they could not recall a few minutes earlier what color tie was worn by the con man who fraudulently cleared their bank account and ate their lunch.

solution: When caught in a gargantuan lie, what would Ron do? Like any other time he faced insurmountable odds, Hubbard would simply "rise above" the public relations nightmare and "make it go right" by resolving the "Big LIe" with an even bigger Big Lie (see Russell Miller's "Barefaced Messiah" linked passage here). When the "perfect recall" demonstration's audience began derisively laughing, jeering and walking out--Hubbard defiantly double-downed on his diabolically deficient Dianetic dilemma:

"Hubbard, sweat glistening in beads on his forehead, stepped forward and brought the demonstration swiftly to an end. Quick-witted as always, he proffered an explanation for Miss Bianca’s impressive lapses of memory. The problem, Dianetically speaking, was that when he called her forward, asking her to come out ‘now’, the ‘now’ had frozen her in ‘present time’ and blocked her total recall. It was not particularly convincing, but it was the best he could do in the circumstances."​

CONCLUSION: The technology is so powerful that in addition to erasing all engrams, the mere act of a trained Scientologist speaking to you can quite easily lay in new engramic content! None of this changes the F/Ning fact that all of Scientology's sensational superpowers work 100% of the time (unless you ask a Scientologist to demonstrate it). This is because demanding a demo can only be done under strictly controlled scientific conditions--such as found in a standard Scientology course room where the miracle worker has a standardly & scientifically verified paid invoice.

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FREE BONUS - PART II
DEBUNKING DIANETIC DISSIMULATIONS


​
example: One of Dr. Hubbards's many miracles was that over the decades he was able to declare multiple times "The World's First Clear!"

- - We have already detailed (see above post) the 1950 "World's First Clear", Sonya Bianchi!​
​
- - Clearly before 1950 many other "World's First" Clears were produced, as confirmed by "modern science" in the book Dianetics!​
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-- In 1966 Hubbard once again astonished the scientific world by declaring yet another "World's First Clear", John McMaster!​
​
Quite unfortunately McMaster proved to be profoundly ungrateful to Dr. Hubbard--by refusing to help clear the planet by demonstrating to the world the miraculous powers he attained as a Clear. This was an "overt of omission" of great magnitude.

Patient as tried to be with McMaster's unethical intransigence, within 30 months of being declared Clear, Ron was forced to develop new justice technology to help McMaster by declaring him SP.

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Nominated for one of the Stupidest Moments in Scientology:

THE MOMENT EVERY TIME A SCIENTOLOGY
GURU GOT CAUGHT IN A BOLDFACED LIE
​

example: Any one of the dozens of celebratory moments Hubbard claimed he had created "The world's first Clear!"--and although the Clear could easily remember what they ate for lunch trillions of years ago, they could not recall a few minutes earlier what color tie was worn by the con man who fraudulently cleared their bank account and ate their lunch.

solution: When caught in a gargantuan lie, what would Ron do? Like any other time he faced insurmountable odds, Hubbard would simply "rise above" the public relations nightmare and "make it go right" by resolving the "Big LIe" with an even bigger Big Lie (see Russell Miller's "Barefaced Messiah" linked passage here). When the "perfect recall" demonstration's audience began derisively laughing, jeering and walking out--Hubbard defiantly double-downed on his diabolically deficient Dianetic dilemma:

"Hubbard, sweat glistening in beads on his forehead, stepped forward and brought the demonstration swiftly to an end. Quick-witted as always, he proffered an explanation for Miss Bianca’s impressive lapses of memory. The problem, Dianetically speaking, was that when he called her forward, asking her to come out ‘now’, the ‘now’ had frozen her in ‘present time’ and blocked her total recall. It was not particularly convincing, but it was the best he could do in the circumstances."​

CONCLUSION: The technology is so powerful that in addition to erasing all engrams, the mere act of a trained Scientologist speaking to you can quite easily lay in new engramic content! None of this changes the F/Ning fact that all of Scientology's sensational superpowers work 100% of the time (unless you ask a Scientologist to demonstrate it). This is because demanding a demo can only be done under strictly controlled scientific conditions--such as found in a standard Scientology course room where the miracle worker has a standardly & scientifically verified paid invoice.

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A Clear doesn't have a bank. There's nothing to "stick" on. A Clear getting "stuck" in PT by a command phrase defeats the whole purpose of the tech.
 
A Clear doesn't have a bank.
There's nothing to "stick" on. A Clear getting "stuck" in PT by a command phrase defeats the whole purpose of the tech.

Your post is logical. Therefore, it does not apply to Scientology.

I recently re-heard Dr. Hubbard's lecture on OT III where he swears that after beings were blown up by hydrogen bombs there were tremendous winds and the thetans were blown into the air, after which they were captured and stuck on electronic ribbons.

So there you have scientific proof that they thetans stuck to ribbons.

Also, it is easy to move a thetan around because the wind can "blow" them about quite easily. Thetans have no mass, no motion and no location---yet the wind can blow them around, now that's an amazing OT miracle, is it not?

CONCLUSION: Thetans are very sticky. And they are obviously very blowy too, borne out by the fact that 98% of them leave without authorization.

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The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind
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LOL

How many divisions of TA must a man blow down​
Before you call him a Clear?​
​
How many BTs must a Clear blow off​
Before you call him an OT?​
​
How many times must an OT disagree​
Before you call him an SP?​
​
The answer my friend, is actually not a sin​
The answer is simply blowing with a win.​
​
.​
 
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The answer is simply blowing with an F/N.
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Blowing with an F/N is a heretical high-crime! No one is ever allowed to do that--which brings up the conniving cult con curiously called: "Total Freedom".

The rules of the (con) "game" are:

TO WIN THE GAME & THEREBY ATTAIN THE PRIZE OF TOTAL FREEDOM, YOU MUST: ​
​
1. Blindly believe every word written/uttered by the the infallibles--Commodore & COB.​
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2. Obsequiously obey all cult Commandments.​
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3. Unquestioningly & cheerfully pay any ludicrously lavish sums in your scientifically calculated tech-estimate.​
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4. (Having attained "Total Freedom") You must never demonstrate to anyone your miraculous superpowers.​
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5. (Having attained "Total Freedom") You must never use* any of that freedom for yourself. Before utilizing any portion of your Total Freedom for your reactively low-toned ideas, you must first standardly CSW to ask for written permission from high-toned, high-ranking military leaders atop your your "church's" command channel.​
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* use (examples):.​
  • Total Freedom does not include the freedom to read what is on the internet.
  • Total Freedom does not include the freedom to do "wholetrack research" or discover "tech", like Ron.
  • Total Freedom does not include the freedom to change your religion or create your own, like Ron.
  • Total Freedom does not include the freedom to even walk out the door without being stalked, recovered & rehabilitated.
.​
 
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