TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[Dotey OT]

"Hey, these damn lights are bright, can you guys see if there is any more chocolate left at the chocolate fountain in back?

 

[Dotey OT]

"We have all met David Miscavige, and this is where the top of his head comes up to."

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

We need a new word to replace "WOGs", don't you think??

Yes, we do! Something that hopefully distinguishes their meaningless, lackluster-black-n-white existence---as compared to the swashbuckling, sector-salvaging, vibrantly cosmically-colorful life of an OT.

DRABs?

(Degraded & Reactively Attenuated Beings)

.

 

[Dotey OT]

.


Yes, we do! Something that hopefully distinguishes their meaningless, lackluster-black-n-white existence---as compared to the swashbuckling, sector-salvaging, vibrantly cosmically-colorful life of an OT.

DRABs?

(Degraded & Reactively Attenuated Beings)

.

I knew I could count on you, OT-Wan.

 

[Dotey OT]

.


Yes, we do! Something that hopefully distinguishes their meaningless, lackluster-black-n-white existence---as compared to the swashbuckling, sector-salvaging, vibrantly cosmically-colorful life of an OT.

DRABs?

(Degraded & Reactively Attenuated Beings)

.

A tribute to a good old friend from the old board:

Ninnies - Not interested & near nowhere into enlightened state

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

A Rare Interview With
IDEAL SCIENTOLOGIST BILLY BLOWDOWN!


OT-TV SHOW HOST
Well Billy, we are so excited to have you on our incredibly theta, upstat,
uptone and in-ethics OT-TV show! You are the first person in Scientology's
history to reach the highest level on the grade chart AND the highest IAS Status
on the same day! Can you share some of your OT wins with us about that?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Yes, I 'd be happy to, but I must admit I am a wee bit nervous because this
is the first time I have spoken in front of all 10 million Scientologists!

OT-TV SHOW HOST
Billy, I'm sorry but that 10 million number is false data.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Oh, wow! Actually for the past few years I had knowingness that there was
something fishy about that number. It's probably more like 25,000, right?

OT-TV SHOW HOST
I don't know where you are coming up with this entheta black PR
because our worldwide membership has grow to 16 million!

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Oh, wow! Actually I had knowingness that we have had unprecedented expansion---
when you said 16 million I blew a lot of charge because that number really indicates!

OT-TV SHOW HOST
So, Billy can you tell us some OT wins after you attested to OT VIII?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Sure, right after I attested I drove home to tell my wife and I was
able to find a parking spot the moment I pulled up and didn't
even have to keep circling the block and going downtone.

OT-TV SHOW HOST
I'm not sure I understand that OT win Billy. Don't you still live
in that apartment building where they have underground parking
for tenants and you have an assigned spot?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Yes! I sure made that go right! I mean, after OT VII
everything is so effortless, the MEST universe like
totally responds to my postulates without a com lag!

OT-TV SHOW HOST
Okayyy, but---um...well, I'm not at your level yet
so I guess when I move up the Bridge I'll
be able to have that win a little more. Besides
parking spaces, are there any other OT VIII
wins you can share that are not confidential?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
No. Well, wait, yes! Within 3 minutes of attesting to OT VIII
I received a hand-routed special VIP invitation to a very advanced level!

OT-TV SHOW HOST
You got your invitation for OT 9?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
No, I got an invitation to join an elite project that
only OT VIIIs can really understand. And it only cost me
$300,000 to secure my Super-Patronorius Humanitarius
Emeritus Invictus Sanctorious Prosperitus status!

OT-TV SHOW HOST
Wow! That is so amazing! Can you tell us anything
about what that means all of mankind on this planet? I mean,
what exactly is the Super-Patronorius Humanitarius
Emeritus Invictus Sanctorious Prosperitus status!

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I can't really say.

OT-TV SHOW HOST
Confidential?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Not really. It's just that when I completed that status, I attested to.....
"I now know what Super-Patronorius Humanitarius Emeritus
Invictus Sanctorious Prosperitus status is not and
I'm interested to find out what it is." *




.​

* The highest level in Scientology is OT 8, and the supernatural power you attain is this (no joke): "I NOW KNOW WHO I AM NOT AND I AM INTERESTED TO FIND OUT WHO I AM". It is miraculous, in the sense that people pay over a half million dollars to attain oblivious occlusion and consider that a major win.

.

​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

​

Yikes, check out the gargantuan font behind them. . .

Yes, that's right: "BOOTS IN THE SKY". LOL

All Scientologists love Ron's big-being, big-boots, space-opera fantasy. They call it---"technology!".

So why are they saluting, what the hell are they thinking?

GIRL (Stage Left): "I am getting that migraine thing that always keys in when everyone is standing, yelling and applauding on stuff that sounds like total bullshit". ​

​

GIRL (Center Stage): "Wow, boots! I love boots. I wish our uniforms were like the old days when I joined and we all got to wear white helmets, white micro-shorts and white knee-high, shiny 5th Invader Force go-go-boots! I've been on staff for 37 years and still not clear, but Ron says when I get up to the top of the Bridge I will live forever and will be able to have trillions of pairs of boots, so that really indicates!"​

​

GUY (Stage Right): "Oh wow! That chick in the back wearing the black boiler suit, picking up poop from the IAS horse---wait, I she looks kind of familiar. After the event I'd love to ask her if we know each other---but we are not allowed to talk to DBs in the RPF. Yeah, that's definitely her! Cool, I've been wondering for the past 11 years whatever happened to my wife, good to know!"​

.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..


White 5th Invader Go-Go boots. Yeah I said that.

I'm not making this shit up, lol.

.​

Sorry I didn't quickly find the photos where they were also wearing wholetrack WHITE HELMETS. Yup, they did that.

Just like this. . .

​

Because, when you sign a billion year contract to save the world---and you need all beings in the universe to trust you, you need to look both sleazy AND crazy.

.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

BEFORE THE INTERNET
Early "Body Routing" technology



"Hey man!
You look super hot--whadya doin tonight?
Wanna party with us on a boat?"

.

​

 

[PirateAndBum]

..


White 5th Invader Go-Go boots. Yeah I said that.

I'm not making this shit up, lol.

.View attachment 798​

Sorry I didn't quickly find the photos where they were also wearing wholetrack WHITE HELMETS. Yup, they did that.

Just like this. . .

View attachment 801
​

Because, when you sign a billion year contract to save the world---and you need all beings in the universe to trust you, you need to look both sleazy AND crazy.

.

I found a nice picture of the white helmet for ya.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I found a nice picture of the white helmet for ya.

.

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

Somebody make me a certificate, I think i just attained the state of:
"OMG I WAS IN A F*CKING CULT, WTF?!"

.​

 

[Karen#1]

Miscavige loves images of crowds. Look how many believe ! Must be true

 

[stratty]

Miscavige loves images of crowds. Look how many believe ! Must be true

View attachment 803

Shouldn't there be a sheepdog somewhere in this picture?

 

[Dotey OT]

Miscavige loves images of crowds. Look how many believe ! Must be true

View attachment 803

I looked at this and it made me sad. Many faces in this that I know, even with the fuzziness. Their lives and future...

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

posted by KAREN#1

Miscavige loves images of crowds.
Look how many believe! Must be true...





- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -​

Now try this. . .

FIRST, ZOOM IN TO EXTREME CLOSEUP ON THOSE SKYWARD FACES

New caption for photo:

TRUE BELIEVING LOYAL SCIENTOLOGISTS GAZE UP TO THE HEAVENS
IN THEIR SACRED DAILY RITUAL, EXPRESSING UNQUESTIONING
FAITH THAT THEIR BELOVED COMMODORE WILL FULFILL HIS
PROMISE TO "COME BACK" AND SAVE THE PLANET.

CULT'S COMMANDING OFFICER CALLS OUT THE COMMANDS:
"CAN ANYONE SPOT RON'S SPACESHIP TODAY?"

BLINKLESS HOPEFULS CHANT BACK IN UNISON:
"NOT YET SIR!"

THEN THEY ALL SHUFFLE BACK INSIDE
AND WRITE LETTERS TO PEOPLE TO
INQUIRE WHAT MIRACLES THEY
HAD AFTER BUYING
DIANETICS IN
1953

.
​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Shouldn't there be a sheepdog somewhere in this picture?

LOL

QUESTION: Who/What would have a photo taken of upward gazing sheep--so that you could glare down at them from 17 feet above?

ANSWER: A messianically misanthropic, malevolently moronic & megalomanical midget.

REASON: That's what you do when the tech doesn't work, yet you still long for that 17 foot tall "Big Being" feeling.

SLIGHT PROBLEM: That photo is a flunk---because the parts don't have individual labels.

​

- - There should be an arrow pointing to the org, reading "BRIDGE TO TOTAL FREEDOM"​

​

- - And, there should be an arrow pointing to the ladder reading "LADDER TO TOTAL SHEEPDOM"​

​

. ​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

A tribute to a good old friend from the old board:

Ninnies - Not interested & near nowhere into enlightened state

LOL

On the positive side, the final month on that now deceased website marks the first time in Earth's 75 million year history that a CLUSTER fuck was generated by a single BT (Bullshitting Troll).

.

 

[guanoloco]

.

BEFORE THE INTERNET
Early "Body Routing" technology

View attachment 802

"Hey man!
You look super hot--whadya doin tonight?
Wanna party with us on a boat?"

.

​

God...who puts adolescents in half-shirts?

I've always considered these seductive come ons like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island.



Who but a messed up dude would get this wrong?

It reminds me of this transgender fail...this guy is supposed to be a 6 year old.



Who puts earrings like that and chokers and nail polish and half-shirts on 6 year olds?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

It reminds me of this transgender fail...this guy is supposed to be a 6 year old.

View attachment 815

Who puts earrings like that and chokers and nail polish and half-shirts on 6 year olds?

Not a 6 year old transgender. A 46 year old transgender Deputy Commodore, Bill Robertson. He was #2 in command in this sector of the Galaxy, with only LRH above him on the command channel.

Salvaging a Galaxy is a very work-intensive task, which probably explains why "Captain Bill" could not afford to take study time and read all the books, policies and bulletins by his boss that declared people like him should not be trusted because they are 1.1 on the tone scale.

Ron was super busy too, so he had to delegate his hat of obnosing and declaring "sexual deviants" as covertly hostile suppressives that are sabotaging Scientology. That explains why Ron did not know that the #2 OT on this planet was a "psychotic".

These are minor outpoints that should not even slightly interfere with either planetary and/or galactic Clearing.

Here is a photo of Captain Bill before the psychs and 5th invaders got ahold of him, PDH'ed him and implanted him---which naturally threw him out of valence and that's the only reason he was dramatizing cross-dressing lesbian role playing in secret.

https://scientolipedia.org/w/images/2/2d/CBR_70-70_Ole_Gerstrom_pic.jpg

All that could so easily have been cleaned up in a few minute session by
simply assessing an LFPG correction list ("List For Psychotic Gurus").​

.

 

[Glenda]

I found a nice picture of the white helmet for ya.

The Village People (and friends)!