TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[NotsoNutsoNow]

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Courtesy of website "THE SCIENTOLOGY MONEY PROJECT"

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SO officer : "You are being declared because of that sweater."

Goldenrod schmuck : "What about HIS sweater" (In his best tu quoque)

View attachment 9383
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SO officer : "Not gonna work.

Goldenrod schmuck: "You do know how butch you look in that uniform, don't you?"

SO Officer : "Well, we could do an FES on your folder. Wanna do lunch?"

If one laughs at a misfit one can later feel remorse, but the same can't be said of f***wits.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

A stupid that has probably been mentioned before, but anyway here goes: IDEAL GRIFT AND EXORCISM DYSTOPIA CLINIC (ideal org, ideal organisation): 1. ‘MOCK UP A WAY TO WASTE MONEY.’ (Ref: HCOB 9 January 1968 MONEY PROCESS Online edition.

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LOL, unreal!

I had to look that one up to see if you were joking. (LINK HERE - page 251)

- - - - - - - -

HUBBARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE
Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex

HCO BULLETIN OF 9 JANUARY 1968

MONEY PROCESS ​

The command of the Money Process is:

MOCK UP A WAY TO WASTE MONEY.​

This is run until a person can have money.
...


L. Ron Hubbard

- - - - - - - -
​

However, I believe the above HCOB had a typo in it.

The original (unedited) LRH draft stated that:

"This is run until a person (Ron) can have your money."


.​

 

[Operating DB]

I was able to finally escape scientology because I squirreled and created my very own process: "Think of a way to leave scientology. Good! Think of another way to leave scientology. Thank you!"
Repeat until the EP of actually walking out the door and never returning manifests. It really works! Squirreled scientology is amazing!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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SCIENTOLOGY FICTION: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering 100% workable technology.

SCIENTOLOGY FACT: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering excuses why the 100% workable technology didn't work.

example:

“Down in Arizona they put an H-bomb nine feet below the ground and blew it up. Why? To find out if it’d lift dust? Well, it certainly did!….In 1947 it was very easy to run an engram. Even in early 1950 it was still fairly easy to run an engram, but it was a little harder. By the end of ’50 it was getting difficult to run engrams. In 1951 we had to beef up our processes like mad in order to run an engram cleanly. By 1952 we were beginning to run into nothing but whole track. 1953, we just had to look for other processes than engram running. And we had to look hard, and we looked into exteriorization. In ’54, in ’55 and in ’56 we have actually been researching further and further, into more and more powerful techniques. Why? People haven’t changed, have they? Not at all. We even see a difference of techniques which, run two or three years ago, don’t work very well today. This fascinating panorama has just unfolded before my view as a distinct possibility. And it may or may not be true, but it is certainly a distinct possibility, and there is a coordination here between the amount of radiation in the atmosphere and the difficulty of auditing a preclear.” -L. Ron Hubbard, November 8, 1956​

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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SCIENTOLOGY FICTION: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering 100% workable technology.

SCIENTOLOGY FACT: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering excuses why the 100% workable technology didn't work.

example:

CLEAR
Hey Ron, I spent a fortune in order to go Clear, so
that I could have perfect health, perfect wealth
and be perfectly happy. Now I am sick and
broke and miserable. What's up with that?!

HUBBARD
Well, that's easy. In my earlier breakthrough I discovered
that everything wrong with a being is in their past, like
engrams--and they need to be audited out. But, I now
made an even bigger discovery--that everything
wrong with a being is from a level they need
to do in their future and it's called OT III.

.

​

 

[Chuck J.]

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SCIENTOLOGY FICTION: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering 100% workable technology.

SCIENTOLOGY FACT: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering excuses why the 100% workable technology didn't work.

example:

“Down in Arizona they put an H-bomb nine feet below the ground and blew it up. Why? To find out if it’d lift dust? Well, it certainly did!….In 1947 it was very easy to run an engram. Even in early 1950 it was still fairly easy to run an engram, but it was a little harder. By the end of ’50 it was getting difficult to run engrams. In 1951 we had to beef up our processes like mad in order to run an engram cleanly. By 1952 we were beginning to run into nothing but whole track. 1953, we just had to look for other processes than engram running. And we had to look hard, and we looked into exteriorization. In ’54, in ’55 and in ’56 we have actually been researching further and further, into more and more powerful techniques. Why? People haven’t changed, have they? Not at all. We even see a difference of techniques which, run two or three years ago, don’t work very well today. This fascinating panorama has just unfolded before my view as a distinct possibility. And it may or may not be true, but it is certainly a distinct possibility, and there is a coordination here between the amount of radiation in the atmosphere and the difficulty of auditing a preclear.” -L. Ron Hubbard, November 8, 1956​

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Wait a minute! Did Ron just blame invisible particles on $cientology not working?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Wait a minute! Did Ron just blame invisible particles on $cientology not working?

LOL

ANSWER: Yes! It's always invisible things that sabotage the 100% workable tech 100% of the time (e.g. radiation, by passed charge, engrams, implants, squirrels, declared SPs that used to be elite execs and senior case supervisors, BTs, et al).

PRO TIP: Preclears and Pre-OTs should never try to figure out and resolve all these invisible things that keep them in the degraded MEST trap. They will be notified by their auditor and the registrar when all of their invisible particles, impediments and enemies have been erased, at which time they will be allowed to attest and begin paying for the next higher invisible level.

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[Dotey OT]

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Goldenrod guy : "Oh my god!!! I can't get declared suppressive!!!! My wife is on the level, my kids are in the S.O., I work for my father who is the foundation ED at the local org. I will lose everything!! My wife, my kids, my job, my friends. My life will be in ruins!!!"

S.O. Mustache Dude : "You should have thought before you looked on ESMB. You know those guys are evil SP's, spewing entheta. Especially that Helluva Hoe."

Goldenrod guy : "Is there anything I can do to save myself??"

S.O. Mustache Dude : "Well there is, and it's behind this book."

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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S.O. Mustache Dude : "Well there is, and it's behind this book."
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Whoa! Does that mean. . .
YSCOHB? (YOU SEEM CONFUSED ON HUBBARD'S BOOK)
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[NotsoNutsoNow]

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SCIENTOLOGY FICTION: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering 100% workable technology.

SCIENTOLOGY FACT: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering excuses why the 100% workable technology didn't work.

example:

“Down in Arizona they put an H-bomb nine feet below the ground and blew it up. Why? To find out if it’d lift dust? Well, it certainly did!….In 1947 it was very easy to run an engram. Even in early 1950 it was still fairly easy to run an engram, but it was a little harder. By the end of ’50 it was getting difficult to run engrams. In 1951 we had to beef up our processes like mad in order to run an engram cleanly. By 1952 we were beginning to run into nothing but whole track. 1953, we just had to look for other processes than engram running. And we had to look hard, and we looked into exteriorization. In ’54, in ’55 and in ’56 we have actually been researching further and further, into more and more powerful techniques. Why? People haven’t changed, have they? Not at all. We even see a difference of techniques which, run two or three years ago, don’t work very well today. This fascinating panorama has just unfolded before my view as a distinct possibility. And it may or may not be true, but it is certainly a distinct possibility, and there is a coordination here between the amount of radiation in the atmosphere and the difficulty of auditing a preclear.” -L. Ron Hubbard, November 8, 1956​

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That is an amazing find. Thanks!

Could that Suppressive Prick dramatize service facsimiles, justifications, rationalisations and excuses or what?

While releasing his pile of crap El Con continuously made out he was cause and everyone else had to be cause. Well, this proves
all along the slippery eel was really at effect and was just a hypocritical, gutless, scamming Delusional Bullshitter.

 

[NotsoNutsoNow]

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SCIENTOLOGY FICTION: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering 100% workable technology.

SCIENTOLOGY FACT: L. Ron Hubbard spent 36 years (1950-1986) discovering excuses why the 100% workable technology didn't work.

example:

CLEAR
Hey Ron, I spent a fortune in order to go Clear, so
that I could have perfect health, perfect wealth
and be perfectly happy. Now I am sick and
broke and miserable. What's up with that?!

HUBBARD
Well, that's easy. In my earlier breakthrough I discovered
that everything wrong with a being is in their past, like
engrams--and they need to be audited out. But, I now
made an even bigger discovery--that everything
wrong with a being is from a level they need
to do in their future and it's called OT III.

.

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A suggestion to add to your collection:

$CIENTOLOGY F***WIT L Ron Hubbard $enior (13 March 1911 – It would have been far better if El Con had never been born day! – 24 January 1986 – the very first Happy Ron Is Dead Day!) spent almost 75 years on Earth/Teegeeack to attain the rank/status of GOAT - Goose Of All Time.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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from another thread discussing Hubbard's
contradictory attacks against Jesus, including
the allegation that he was a Clear, but that he never
existed and/or that Jesus was a multi-million year old implant.


"Jesus was just a shade above Clear"
- L. Ron Hubbard

"L. Ron Hubbard was just a shade below shady"
- L. Don Hubbard (CV below)​

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[HelluvaHoax!]

from another thread where Veda showcases some excellent
examples of THE HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION.("In Scn for each
and every code, creed, policy or piece of tech, there is an
equal and opposite code, creed, policy or piece of tech")

.​

originally posted by Veda
Hubbard regarded prevaricating - lying - as an ability.

-- In 1951, anticipating a messy divorce, Hubbard wrote (in a book meant for the broad public) about how bad abortion was (or at least gave that impression); after the divorce, in 1952, Hubbard, before a group of eager Scientologists, enthused about the ease of do-it-yourself abortion.​

-- Sexual promiscuity was condemned in 1951 and celebrated in 1952.​

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-- In 1950/51 Hubbard wrote about how bad consumption of alcohol was, that it was worse than many drugs. By 1952, Hubbard was explaining, in a lecture, that one should able able to drink as much liqueur as one wants, and use the body in any way one wants.​

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-- 1950/51: Hubbard wrote - albeit briefly - about how belief in God is important to a society. By 1952, Hubbard was explaining that believing in God was a sign of severe degradation and aberration.​

Hubbard said and wrote different things depending on his audience.

This approach was first detailed by Hubbard during March 1955 - in the wake of the activation of his "religion angle" - in the Manual on Dissemination of Material.

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Perhaps the best way to explain how Scientologists can resist having a complete mental breakdown in the middle of so many outrageous contradictions, one needs to consider the observable fact that cult members are infinitely more concerned with "having wins" than science, sanity or facts. To amplify this doctrine, one of Hubbard's most revered axioms is:

"Scientology is the only game in the
universe where everyone wins!" ​

You needn't worry about how Ron could have possibly known what is going on throughout the endless quadrillions of light years of the universe, containing hundreds of billions of galaxies--each of which contains hundreds of billions of stars---and even greater numbers of planets. Just be happy that Ron was good at research.

HOW SCIENTOLOGISTS CAN HAVE A WIN ON ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS: Think of Scientology as a vast intergalactic casino where you gamble not only with all your cash but also with all your time--in order to win the jackpot of magical powers, immortality and total freedom. Every time a Scientologist experiences a "win", it's like a slot machine erupting with flashing lights, bells and whistles, as cash theta pours out. And Hubbard, the casino owner, also wrote a book ("Gamblenetics") that provides casino patrons with the tech for winning 100% of the time. Ron's casino is the only casino where everyone wins, right? Here's essentially how it works:

• Imagine a Scientologist playing roulette.
• The Scientologist has to decide whether to bet on black or red.
• Let's assume the bet on red. They win!
• However, let's assume the opposite, that bet on black. They win!
• They win either way. How is that even possible? It's all in Ron's book.
• In Gamblenetics first chapter, Ron advises gamblers to "ALWAYS BET RED".
• However, in the 2nd chapter Ron advises "ALWAYS BET BLACK".
• If it lands on RED they get a huge win!
• If it lands on BLACK they still get huge win!

EXPLANATION: Either way, huge win. (The tech always works!) If it lands on red they get the huge win called "cash". If it lands on black they get the huge win that Ron's tech was 100% correct, because in chapter 2 it said to "always bet black". Ergo, the win is that Ron's tech always works and now they are overjoyed to realize it was their own mistake and squirreling that caused the problem. And they have an even bigger win realizing that the next time they are in Ron's casino playing roulette (or anywhere in the MEST universe) they will for sure know how to "always win" by betting properly using standard tech.

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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If anyone unfamiliar with Scientology tried to ask a Scientologist or read the words of Hubbard in order to determine: "WHAT HE HELL IS SCIENTOLOGY ANYWAYS?!" they would be far more confused after they received the answer than before they asked the question.

To remedy and forever "blow the confusion" of what Scientology is, one need only look at what Scientology does. And what they do is an endlessly repetitive "cycle" simply consisting of five fundamental steps.

1. Find out what people will buy, by searching for their "ruin" or some condition they are willing to pay cash money to fix.​

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2. Whatever they tell you in step #1 (above), look at the person with blink-less and compassionate certainty and chant these magic four words: "Scientology can handle that!" ​

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3. Then, shoot down every obstacle and "consideration" the person throws back--- until they finally give up and agree to pay the cash. ​

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4. At some later point in time, if the person is still "nattering" or complaining about their ruin (even after completing the miraculous auditing and/or training they were sold!) go back and repeat steps 1-3.​

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5. If step #4 does not result in a full restoration of the being's ability to "flow power" (cash) to cult leaders, run the two-command "repair, remedy & rehabilitation" process below, until they once again begin to donate ever-increasing sums:​

COMMAND #1
"It's your resistive DB case and therefore all your fault.
However, Scientology can handle that
for only an additional (insert new tech estimate here)"

COMMAND #2
"It's just your upper OT case kicking in
because you are so perceptive, able and aware!
However, Scientology can handle that
for only an additional (insert price of next OT level here)"


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[Chuck J.]

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If anyone unfamiliar with Scientology tried to ask a Scientologist or read the words of Hubbard in order to determine: "WHAT HE HELL IS SCIENTOLOGY ANYWAYS?!" they would be far more confused after they received the answer than before they asked the question.

To remedy and forever "blow the confusion" of what Scientology is, one need only look at what Scientology does. And what they do is an endlessly repetitive "cycle" simply consisting of five fundamental steps.

1. Find out what people will buy, by searching for their "ruin" or some condition they are willing to pay cash money to fix.​

​

2. Whatever they tell you in step #1 (above), look at the person with blink-less and compassionate certainty and chant these magic four words: "Scientology can handle that!" ​

​

3. Then, shoot down every obstacle and "consideration" the person throws back--- until they finally give up and agree to pay the cash. ​

​

4. At some later point in time, if the person is still "nattering" or complaining about their ruin (even after completing the miraculous auditing and/or training they were sold!) go back and repeat steps 1-3.​

​

5. If step #4 does not result in a full restoration of the being's ability to flow energy and power up-lines, run the two-command "repair, remedy & rehabilitation" process until they once again begin a flow towards their Bridge:​

COMMAND #1
"It's your resistive DB case and therefore all your fault.
However, Scientology can handle that
for only an additional (insert new tech estimate here)"

COMMAND #2
"It's just your upper OT case kicking in
because you are so perceptive, able and aware!
However, Scientology can handle that
for only an additional (insert price of next OT level here)"


.

​

That's the 10,000 foot overview. All the rest of $cientology is just details on how to more easily accomplish those steps.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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That's the 10,000 foot overview. All the rest of $cientology is just details on how to more easily accomplish those steps.

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Exactly!

To accelerate, expedite, streamline and economize on the effort and cost of accomplishing those 5 steps.

I suppose we should add this: To also prevent, block and obstruct anyone on the planet from interfering with those 5 steps being performed on a credulous cult mark.

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[NotsoNutsoNow]

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Exactly!

To accelerate, expedite, streamline and economize on the effort and cost of accomplishing those 5 steps.

I suppose we should add this: To also prevent, block and obstruct anyone on the planet from interfering with those 5 steps being performed on a credulous cult mark.

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The story of the Cult of $cientology from 13 March 1911 – it would have been far better if El Con had never been born day! until 24 January 1986 - the very first Happy Ron is Dead Day!

Basic-Basic fund-a-mental aspects of El Con's Dianetic$ and $cientology capers are El Con's life-long pursuit of stealing other people's thunder to create his plagiarised and collated wreckologies then continuously morphing his creations to obtain more and more fame and money. He was successful for a while but then died infamously in a trailer all by his lonesome – unless he was knocked off directly by Slappy or Slappy's collaborators under the pint-sized puke's orders.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

What weighs 7.5 pounds
and is 1088 pages long?

​

It's an incredibly stupid book that was supposed to bring hundreds of millions of "wogs" into Scientology. Of course it miserably failed to do that---just like every other ingenious marketing "breakthrough" Scientology released since 1950.

I never bought that book or paid attention to the cover---but I just noticed something really cringey and bizarre on the cover. . .

"Here you are, standing in thorny and forbidding ground."​

What the hell? LOL! Who writes putrid copy like that?

"Across the chasm is a higher plateau
where things are far better."​

WTF? What does that even mean? Where is the plateau where things are far better? At the Gold International Base where the church leader prisons, tortures, assaults and beats the hell out of staff? At Target Two where dead Scientologists go to be with their dead criminal guru?

Anybody know where the ideal plateau is located?

ps: How the hell did that loser book get on the NY Times Bestseller list? LOL.
.

 

[NotsoNutsoNow]

What weighs 7.5 pounds
and is 1088 pages long?

​

It's an incredibly stupid book that was supposed to bring hundreds of millions of "wogs" into Scientology. Of course it miserably failed to do that---just like every other ingenious marketing "breakthrough" Scientology released since 1950.

I never bought that book or paid attention to the cover---but I just noticed something really cringey and bizarre on the cover. . .

"Here you are, standing in thorny and forbidding ground."​

What the hell? LOL! Who writes putrid copy like that?

"Across the chasm is a higher plateau
where things are far better."​

WTF? What does that even mean? Where is the plateau where things are far better? At the Gold International Base where the church leader prisons, tortures, assaults and beats the hell out of staff? At Target Two where dead Scientologists go to be with their dead criminal guru?

Anybody know where the ideal plateau is located?

ps: How the hell did that loser book get on the NY Times Bestseller list? LOL.
.

The Cult of $cientology cultists cheating as per usual.

 

[Chuck J.]

What weighs 7.5 pounds
and is 1088 pages long?

​

It's an incredibly stupid book that was supposed to bring hundreds of millions of "wogs" into Scientology. Of course it miserably failed to do that---just like every other ingenious marketing "breakthrough" Scientology released since 1950.

I never bought that book or paid attention to the cover---but I just noticed something really cringey and bizarre on the cover. . .

"Here you are, standing in thorny and forbidding ground."​

What the hell? LOL! Who writes putrid copy like that?

"Across the chasm is a higher plateau
where things are far better."​

WTF? What does that even mean? Where is the plateau where things are far better? At the Gold International Base where the church leader prisons, tortures, assaults and beats the hell out of staff? At Target Two where dead Scientologists go to be with their dead criminal guru?

Anybody know where the ideal plateau is located?

ps: How the hell did that loser book get on the NY Times Bestseller list? LOL.
.

Those books actually have a lot of uses. You could use them to jack up the Chevy in the yard when ya do some shade-tree mechanic work. You could use it as a door stop. You could use it as a weapon, say a burglar breaks in your house, you could bonk him on the head with one of those, ouch! Also, like Don Hubbard did you could use it to keep warm by burning it. If you have enough of them you could make a dog house for your pooch. If you can get a good deal on say a trailer load of them you could even use them to build a house for yourself. If you're say, gluing something and you need a weight to press down on it, there ya go, What Is $cientology is the answer. The practical uses are only limited by your imagination.