TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
The Scientology Paradox I find craziest and one you've probably addressed multiple times during this thread is that the ability gained for Grade 0 is: “the ability to communicate freely with anyone on any subject.”

But if you actually use that ability as a Scientologist there is a great chance you'll end up in serious trouble, eventually getting declared an SP.
What exactly is the point of paying good money to acquire an ability that you're not allowed to use? :unsure:

Not only is it prohibited to communicate freely with anyone on any subject but also it's prohibited to think freely on any subject.

Thinking the wrong thoughts as a Sea Org member can get you RPF'ed if they come up in a sec check. Especially if you think of any unkind thoughts about David Miscavige.
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Cool post!

On a related subject, Grade 0 is just like "Total Freedom".

You can attain "Total Freedom"--- you just cannot use or enjoy any of your new "Total Freedom".

It's kind of like inheriting a billion dollar trust which pays you $1.00 per year for the next billion years.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Karen#1 just posted a remarkable video on another
thread. I am reposting it here because it's
a whistleblowing masterpiece!




HERE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A SCIENTOLOGIST
OF 35 YEARS BLOWS THE CULT, AND BY
DOING SO ATTAINS A GRADE CHART
ABILITY THAT SCIENTOLOGY
FAILED TO GIVE THEM--
GRADE ZERO
*




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* Grade Zero is an auditing level that purports to give a Scientologist the ability to communicate to anyone about any subject. At the same time, Scientologists are thoroughly indoctrinated to never freely communicate what they know about Scientology to anyone, including other Scientologists. If anyone dares to openly communicates, they are met with coercive threats, harassment, stalking, terrorism and criminal thuggery calculated to destroy them.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Don Hubbard's new book "The Problems of Scientology"
is now available in Church of Hoaxology bookstores!

[excerpt from Chapter 7)
BIG BEINGS HAVE BIG PROBLEMS
(AND DON KNOWS HOW TO FIX IT!)

PROBLEM: Scientology sells what they call "STATUSES", which are lapel pins, bracelets, pendants, insignias, jumbo medallions and massive bowling trophies to bestow immeasurable STATUS on themselves. Typically such awards denote how much money they were conned out of and "donated" to the cult. Examples below:



IAS LAPEL PIN - $50,000



PATRON LAUREATE - $10,000,000
(ever notice how the trophies keep growing BIGGER?!)




THEY ARE GETTING WAY TO BIG EVEN FOR BIG BEINGS
TO CARRY AROUND EVERYWHERE TO SHOW OFF THEIR STATUSES!





IMAGINE THE DIFFICULTY FACTOR IN CARRYING THESE ON ESCALATORS,
TAKING TAXIS TO MEETINGS AND PROPERLY ILLUMINATING WHEN ON
DISPLAY NEXT TO YOUR YOUR TABLE IN RESTAURANTS.


SOLUTION: Simple. Forget the bowling trophy bling and issue a policy that all Scientologists must purchase an electronic LED display device that conveniently clips onto whatever clothing one is wearing. Using cloud technology, it continuously updates and prominently displays the total NUMBER OF DONATION DOLLARS that the big being has "flowed" to the cult and its crusades to both "clear the planet" and "salvage this sector". Then, others will know whether to natter about the downstat or flow power and admiration to the upstat.




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Chuck J.

INTJ
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Scientology Solutions Series #1
BIG BEINGS HAVE BIG PROBLEMS
(AND WE KNOW HOW TO FIX IT!)

PROBLEM: Scientology sells what they call "STATUSES", which are lapel pins, bracelets, pendants, insignias, jumbo medallions and massive bowling trophies to bestow immeasurable STATUS on themselves. Typically such awards denote how much money they were conned out of and "donated" to the cult. Examples below:



IAS LAPEL PIN - $50,000



PATRON LAUREATE - $10,000,000
(ever notice how the trophies keep growing BIGGER?!)




THEY ARE GETTING WAY TO BIG EVEN FOR BIG BEINGS
TO CARRY AROUND EVERYWHERE TO SHOW OFF THEIR STATUSES!





IMAGINE THE DIFFICULTY FACTOR IN CARRYING THESE ON ESCALATORS,
TAKING TAXIS TO MEETINGS AND PROPERLY ILLUMINATING WHEN ON
DISPLAY NEXT TO YOUR YOUR TABLE IN RESTAURANTS.


SOLUTION: Simple. Forget the bowling trophy bling and issue a policy that all Scientologists must purchase an electronic LED display device that conveniently clips onto whatever clothing one is wearing. Using cloud technology, it continuously updates the total NUMBER OF DONATION DOLLARS the big being has contributed to the cult. Then, others will know whether to natter about the downstat or flow power and admiration to the upstat.




.





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It occurred to me that $cientology jewelery and Status's are the modern equivalent of the stuff you'd see sold in a National Enquirer type magazine in the 60's or 70s. Prayer cloths or a leather cross being sold by Brother Al or Reverend Ike that has special powerz, etc.

Time moves on, people get wise to scams, some people do. And new slicker scams are developed, etc. Back in the day selling leather crosses with magical powerz was a "Shotgun Approach" in marketing phraseology. $cientology has a laser precise marketing approach targeting "whales" - the people with money. You'd have to have a slicker gimmick with them as they're generally better educated etc. Thus the jewelery and higher statuses since whales are not just trying to "get by" on a paycheck. Their concerns are not so much monetary as social, i.e. higher status amongst their peers, etc.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member

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"Production is the basis of morale."
- L. Ron Hubbard


cult definition
production -noun: 1. Obeying the cult leader's policies, intentions and orders. 2. Complying with the order to make more money and give it to the cult leader.


CULT TIP: The reason morale is higher when production is higher is that when less money is produced, the cult leader dramatically worsens the quantity and quality of sadistic privations and punishments that billion year indentured servants must endure. However, on any given week, if larger sums of cash arrive in the cult leader's offshore bank accounts, there are temporarily less overboards, declares, chain lockers, RPF incarcerations and "heads on a pike"---and therefore staff morale momentarily soars.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Doesn't matter what type of criminal organization it is, $cientology cult or the New Jersey mafia, you got to kick a cut of the take upstairs, or else.

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Exactly, LOL.

There are many other cultic similarities as well!

examples:

- - both cults' #1 most-hated enemy is whistleblowing "rats". Scientologists calls them "SPs".​
- - both cults run multiple front businesses to hide criminal rackets.​
- - both cults are always unreasonable with their enemies and fair game them.​
- - both cults fanatically avoid revealing their crimes by an oath of silence--"omerta". Scientologists call it "overta". To wit, if you pry a little into their activities, they immediately misdirect and silence you by shouting "What are your crimes?!" (and demanding that you do an overta/withhold writeup)​
- - both cults apply the same problem solving technology (R2-45).​
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Chuck J.

INTJ
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Exactly, LOL.

There are many other cultic similarities as well!

examples:

- - both cults' #1 most-hated enemy is whistleblowing "rats". Scientologists calls them "SPs".​
- - both cults run multiple front businesses to hide criminal rackets.​
- - both cults are always unreasonable with their enemies and fair game them.​
- - both cults fanatically avoid revealing their crimes by an oath of silence--"omerta". Scientologists call it "overta". To wit, if you pry a little into their activities, they immediately misdirect and silence you by shouting "What are your crimes?!" (and demanding that you do an overta/withhold writeup)​
- - both cults apply the same problem solving technology (R2-45).​
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Overta !
:LOL::roflmao::clapping:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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From another thread discussing the newest letter gimmick Scientology is
using to trick their own loyal customers into abandoning their jobs and
leaving home during a pandemic---in order to go to Scientology's
ship for hugs. Story originally on Mike Rinder's blog (
LINK)



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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"Did you know that on the Freewinds you can reach
out and touch someone? Give them a hug?"


In Scientology, nothing is what it seems.

In the wog world, touching/hugging someone is a sincere sign of affection.

In the floating, escape-proof reg office otherwise known as "The Freewinds"--you attain total freedom and the hugs are free. However, in a 'nothing is what it seems' cult, nothing is free. So, what's with the promo piece that hypes HUGGING? Rest assured that blink-less BT-busting believers never answered a survey by saying they are dying to spend weeks/months on a boat where they are forced to blow mega-bucks and have their charge cards maxed out--just for a hug that they can get at home.

So, why then is Scientology promoting "hugs" instead of promoting the magically miraculous powers you attain from advanced Freewinds-only upper levels, like OT VIII?

EXPLANATION: If Scientology is super-excited to "brief" you on something, there's always a trick. This hug tech is likely just a gimmick to get stats up by covertly frisking parishioners to detect if they are wearing a covertly hostile money belt to hide their cash and charge cards.


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Zertel

Well-known member
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From another thread discussing the newest letter gimmick Scientology is
using to trick their own loyal customers into abandoning their jobs and
leaving home during a pandemic---in order to go to Scientology's
ship for hugs. Story originally on Mike Rinder's blog (
LINK)



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
.

"Did you know that on the Freewinds you can reach
out and touch someone? Give them a hug?"


In Scientology, nothing is what it seems.

In the wog world, touching/hugging someone is a sincere sign of affection.

In the floating, escape-proof reg office otherwise known as "The Freewinds"--you attain total freedom and the hugs are free. However, in a 'nothing is what it seems' cult, nothing is free. So, what's with the promo piece that hypes HUGGING? Rest assured that blink-less BT-busting believers never answered a survey by saying they are dying to spend weeks/months on a boat where they are forced to blow mega-bucks and have their charge cards maxed out--just for a hug that they can get at home.

So, why then is Scientology promoting "hugs" instead of promoting the magically miraculous powers you attain from advanced Freewinds-only upper levels, like OT VIII?

EXPLANATION: If Scientology is super-excited to "brief" you on something, there's always a trick. This hug tech is likely just a gimmick to get stats up by covertly frisking parishioners to detect if they are wearing a covertly hostile money belt to hide their cash and charge cards.


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Someone on Rinder's blog suggested the Freewinds is becoming the "Love Boat". Touching, hugging, kissing . . . and so on and so forth. Crowley would like that.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Imagine hell.

Okay, thank you.

Now imagine something worse than that. Yes. there is something worse than hell, let me r-factor you on it.

You are on an intercontinental flight and the plane goes down in the ocean but amazingly it floats to a remote desert island and all the passengers survive.

Now you are alive but you are stuck for eternity on the island with all of the following people in the video below.

And they're really, really, really uptone 24/7! I mean, they are off the top of the chart, at the tone level of "Gushing Wins"!

And they always stand too close and get right in your face with those wildly & weirdly widened eyes that scream "Something amazing is happening to me and I don't actually know what it is but it's super miraculously OT and I badly need to tell you about it so that you can stop doing whatever unimportant things you are doing in your downtone life and be just like me!"

And that corny triumphant music is always playing in the background wherever you go, even when you are trying to sleep.




(oh yeah, one other thing. In hell, all these people know
where you live on that island and they all show up at your
grass hut every day to handle you by telling their wins)

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ExitLeft

Member
I'll throw in a contender for a super stupid moments:

The exact moment it was considered a good idea to write, publish or act on the paradox of reward the up stat and penalize the down stat.

It contradicts; "validating what you want and not what you don't want".

Ron validated his imagined enemies constantly to the flock. Ironically.
If the "cur dogs" mentioned in RJ 67 shouldn't be worried about why do so his whole life. The S.P.s , tech, really. How about a tech that actually resolved insanity, lol.

The notion of always bashing Phychs , not only a suppressive generality by his own standard but giving way to much validation and credit, this bolsters the power of another group, though the other group doesn't have a clue or care, lol.

It would be quite magnificent if one were to only practice the upside, it would more than likely continue going up. No need really to validate in any shape or form the downside.
In theory one were to do that it might very well really change mankind.

Instead of; Billy don't do that!- Billy, I like when you do this.

It's a work in progress. It's not easy or else everyone would be doing it,lol.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
I'll throw in a contender for a super stupid moments:

The exact moment it was considered a good idea to write, publish or act on the paradox of reward the up stat and penalize the down stat.

It contradicts; "validating what you want and not what you don't want".

Ron validated his imagined enemies constantly to the flock. Ironically.
If the "cur dogs" mentioned in RJ 67 shouldn't be worried about why do so his whole life. The S.P.s , tech, really. How about a tech that actually resolved insanity, lol.

The notion of always bashing Phychs , not only a suppressive generality by his own standard but giving way to much validation and credit, this bolsters the power of another group, though the other group doesn't have a clue or care, lol.

It would be quite magnificent if one were to only practice the upside, it would more than likely continue going up. No need really to validate in any shape or form the downside.
In theory one were to do that it might very well really change mankind.

Instead of; Billy don't do that!- Billy, I like when you do this.

It's a work in progress. It's not easy or else everyone would be doing it,lol.

Very thought provoking! I especially like two of your excellent points:

- - The one described by Hubbard advising parishioners to "ignore the cur dogs" running along side of the fire engine. Oh my, he sure was above the fray of all those minor homo sapiens concerns! LOL. But then Hubbard reappeared later (and often) as the cur dog chasing and yapping after the psychs and countless other enemies that had gotten under his skin. Now that you point it out, Ron spent an inordinate amount of time dwelling on how to use trickery & treachery to defeat his imagined enemies.

- - The psychs, always the ever-present psychs who have been sabotaging Ron's wholetrack mission to save the planet for trillions of years, LOL. You mentioned "how about a tech that actually resolved insanity"? I vividly recall many tech promises and assurances by Hubbard that he had discovered the cure for insanity. We all fondly recall that he claimed to have cure mentally ill patients in mental hospitals, even before DMSMH was published. Then like clockwork, about once a year "Dr" Hubbard discovered an even greater breakthrough that cured all mental illness. Let's take just one example, his "POWER PROCESSING" on Grade V. He claimed that that one process alone could fully resolve an SP's case.

But then, Hubbard vindictively added that he might never allow that process to be run on SPs---the inference being that because they were so evil he didn't want to cure them, but preferred to make them suffer for eternity. This was a transparent gimmick just like his explanation for why he refused to demonstrate his OT powers (levitation, exteriorization, et al). He claimed it was because he "...doesn't do parlor tricks". LOL. Likewise he wanted all to believe that he can easily cure SPs and psychotics, but his moral standards are far too high to engage in that sort of thing. It makes zero sense but he says it so quickly that one can't quite catch the utter stupidity of it as it rhetorically whizzes by.

Sure Ron, we believe you. You really really really CAN do miraculously magical miracles with your "powers". And we really really really believe you when you say that you don't want to show anyone those powers because it's beneath you. Yet from 1950 to 1986 you fanatically tried everything imaginable 24/7 to get the orgs stats up. Yet a 5 minute demonstration captured on film/video of you performing a miracle would have sent HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS around the world flooding into orgs, demanding to give you their money.

Hey, again, that was good stuff on your post, i enjoyed it and am still laughing about the "cur dogs" which I hadn't thought of in quite a while.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Nominated for the
TOP 100 STUPIDEST MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY

SCIENTOLOGYS PRICELIST

In the early 1950s the "Bridge" consisted of running Dianetics until one achieved the state of Clear. Scientologists were heavily encouraged to buy the book (DMSMH) and co-audit up to Clear for a mere four dollars ($ 4.00).

A couple decades later (early 1970s) a Clear could go up thru OT VII for just a few thousand bucks:

Clearing Course $800.00 ($760.00 5-percent advance payment discount price)
OT I $75.00 ($71.25)
OT II $500.00 ($475.00)
OT III $875.00 ($831.25)
OT III Expanded — free to anyone successfully completing OT VII.
OT IV* $75.00 ($71.25)
OT V $875.00 ($831.25)
OT VI $350.00 ($332.50)
OT VII** ($75.00) ($71.25)
OT VIII $500.00 ($475.00)
TOTAL POWER PACKAGE (OT I — OT VIII)*** $3,000.00 ($ 2,850.00)
Let's error on the same side and throw in another $ 1,500.00 for Grade V and VI (if the Scientologist didn't go Clear on running engrams from Book 1, like Hubbard guaranteed). So let's add that up.

$4.00 + $2,850.00 + $ 1,500.00 = $ 4,354.00.

We can add in some more in case the person needs to buy a "Review" session or two and also enough to buy an e-meter. Let's estimate that at an additional $ 1,646.00.

LET'S TOTAL IT NOW: $ 4,354.00 + $ 1,646.00 = $ 6,000. (from Wog to OT VII)

That was the price back in 1973. $6,000. How much does the bridge cost (48 years later) in 2021?

ANSWER:
$ 600,000.

Whoa, that's 100 times more than it used to cost! Is it inflation? No. $6,000 back in 1973 would only be worth $36,806 today in 2021 dollars
[see inflation tool].

WHAT IS THE STUPIDEST PART OF THIS? That's a very complex and difficult question to answer. Physicists are still researching whether it is stupider that Scientologists
DON'T ASK why the price is jacked up by 9,900%, or that Scientologists say nothing and just PAY IT.


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