TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

One hesitates to beat a dead horse. However--
can anyone answer this question?


iaswhitehorse-jpg.7287


Why is a Sea Org naval uniformed officer riding a horse? LOL.
In the military, horses are only used by the army. And the
the last cavalry charge made on horseback was in 1942.

(Sea Org on horses---Sea Horses?)

Oh wait, never mind---it makes sense now!

v1FcaZC.png
​

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The last Navy horse was buried in 1968

 
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cross-posted from another thread named:
Revisiting OT VIII . . . What, again??!!
- - -

There may be nothing in Scientology that is quite obviously
as stupid as a "modern science of mental health" guru
going insane and trying to kill himself. . .
​

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Ref: (Hubbard's) request to build an electric shock e-meter.

From Memoirs of a Scientology Warrior:

Sarge (Steve Pfauth): So, anyway, he (L. Ron Hubbard) wanted to see me. So I went into the Bluebird and sat down. And he sat across from me and he said, “Sarge,”…boy I wish I had written it all down because I don’t want to goof it up, because this is kind of important. Basically he said, “Sarge, I need you to do something.” He wanted me to build him a machine that would get rid of the bts [body thetans] and kill the body.

Mark (“Marty” Rathbun): Wow.

Sarge: Yeah. It’s kind of heavy. It struck me real hard. He told me a few things. He said, “Yeah, I’ve done all I can do here and I’m just… I’m not coming back. I’m leaving and I am not coming back.” He wanted to die, basically. You know, his body was going to hell and all that stuff. He was having trouble with bts.

Mark: And you say that was in late ʼ85?

Sarge: Yeah. Fall of ʼ85. Yeah, it was right around October.

Mark: Like three months before he died.

Sarge: Yeah, like three or four months. So, I didn’t want to do it. But I didn’t tell him that. And I was hoping I could talk to Pat because Annie insisted that I build the machine. And I said, “Annie, I don’t know that much about building machines that fry people, you know what I mean?”

Mark: Well, did he describe how it should be done?

Sarge: Basically, he wanted to hook it up to the e-meter. And he wanted enough voltage in there that it would get rid of the bts. And I asked him about voltages and I asked him some questions…it was so long ago. And, uh, well, I gotta tell ya, it upset me a lot.

Mark: I bet. So, the idea was that you’d be holding the cans…

Sarge: Turn the thing on and then, in other words, he was gonna audit the bts away and the body was gonna die.

Mark: Right. So there would be enough voltage to kill the body?

Sarge: To do it all. How he figured I was going to figure that out, I have no idea…

… Sarge: Yeah. Earlier on I cooked for LRH. He thought I was a good cook. And then he got sick. Anyway, what happened was I was very upset. So I got pissy-ass drunk and Annie found me about four o’clock in the morning with beer cans all over the green truck, out at the racetrack. I had passed out on the seat. And she was screaming at me, “Oh, you son of a bitch!” Oh man, she laid into me. And I said, “All right, Annie,” and my head was hurting. But I was upset, I was very upset. I was crying and everything. That was a rough time. Very rough. Uh, so anyway, then days went by, okay? And Annie kept saying, “He wants to know about the machine, he wants to know about the machine. What are you doing on the machine?” Annie says, “If you don’t do anything on this Sarge, he’s going to get the local electrician to build one for him.” Can you picture that?

Mark: Wow. That would have been a…

Sarge: I said “No way, man.” So I had to show some progress. So I went to an electronics place in San Luis Obispo and I bought some Tesla coils and some up-transformer things and I got all sorts of things. I basically built him a battery-operated automotive coil type thing. This is my reasoning now, Marty. If he gets zapped by that sucker, it’s gonna shock him but it ain’t gonna kill him. Okay?

Mark: Okay.

Sarge: It’ll shock him but it ain’t gonna kill him. It’ll scare him and he won’t want to do it again.

Mark: These are like 12-volt batteries?

Sarge: Yeah. But the voltage is going to go way up on a transformer. It’s like an automotive coil sort of thing.

Mark: So your thought, what you understand is that he is not going to get…

Sarge: I’m not frying him!

Mark: Exactly. I gotcha.

Sarge: I didn’t want anything that is going to plug into the wall. I didn’t want to fry him, but I didn’t want to tell him I didn’t want to fry him. You know what I mean?

Mark: Yeah, I think about what you are saying right now, and I try to put myself into your position and I…

Sarge: It was very difficult. I didn’t want to kill the old man. So anyway, he used the thing and he fried up my Mark VI [e-meter]. I had a Mark VI that got fried.

Mark: He used it?

Sarge: Yeah.

Mark: LRH actually used it?

Sarge: Yeah, it was my Mark VI, yeah. And it fried the Mark VI. I knew that was going to happen. Fried it.

Mark: You mean he actually tried…

Sarge: Oh, yeah. It had burn marks on it and everything.

Mark: He didn’t get burnt?

Sarge: He may have. But after that there was no more mention of any machines. And that was my intention. That was my intention.

Mark: He probably got a good, hard jolt.

Sarge: I think it scared him, or something.

Mark: And it burned the plastic?

Sarge: It was burnt. It was fried. The insides were gone. Because, you know, those things are like a computer. You can’t put that much power into them without zapping them…I do think people need to know. I just wish at the time when I first blew that I would have written it all down. But I carried it because I had no terminals [people to talk to].

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So, there lies direct eyewitness testimony that Hubbard tried to kill himself! Ergo, here are a pair of dramatically and incontrovertibly "shocking" cultic contradictions* and takeaways:

1. Hubbard's entire and "Original Thesis" was the he had discovered the common denominator and core operating principle of life itself--"SURVIVE!". His technology purported to infinitely expand an individual's survival dynamic, intentions and capability. Yet the net result of all that was Hubbard's personal survival index was not super-human or even average. He was suicidal and therefore his survival quotient had an inverted, below-zero minus value (i.e. he was suicidal!).​
​
2. Here's what's really shocking. Hubbard spent his lifetime fanatically ranting and trying to destroy the mental health care industry because of "electro-shock therapy", which he claimed not only destroyed a beings body and mind, it vanquished any hope at all that the being could ever receive auditing in the future---effectively sabotaging their entire "eternity" for trillions of quadrillions of years and beyond. However, in keeping with the HLOC, Hubbard also discovered that the only way to secure his own eternity was audit out his bank by arranging for himself his own personal "electro-shock therapy".​



* cultic contradictions: Also known as The Hubbard Law of Commotion ("HLOC"), an astonishing scientific breakthrough comparable to Newton's Law of Motion. The HLOC states that: "
In Scientology, for each and every code, creed, policy and piece of tech, there is an equal and opposite code, creed, policy and piece of tech."

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cross-posted from another thread named:
Revisiting OT VIII . . . What, again??!!
- - -

There may be nothing in Scientology that is quite obviously
as stupid as a "modern science of mental health" guru
going insane and trying to kill himself. . .
​

.


.

So, there lies direct eyewitness testimony that Hubbard tried to kill himself! Ergo, here are a pair of dramatically and incontrovertibly "shocking" cultic contradictions* and takeaways:

1. Hubbard's entire and "Original Thesis" was the he had discovered the common denominator and core operating principle of life itself--"SURVIVE!". His technology purported to infinitely expand an individual's survival dynamic, intentions and capability. Yet the net result of all that was Hubbard's personal survival index was not super-human or even average. He was suicidal and therefore his survival quotient had an inverted, below-zero minus value (i.e. he was suicidal!).​
​
2. Here's what's really shocking. Hubbard spent his lifetime fanatically ranting and trying to destroy the mental health care industry because of "electro-shock therapy", which he claimed not only destroyed a beings body and mind, it vanquished any hope at all that the being could ever receive auditing in the future---effectively sabotaging their entire "eternity" for trillions of quadrillions of years and beyond. However, in keeping with the HLOC, Hubbard also discovered that the only way to secure his own eternity was audit out his bank by arranging for himself his own personal "electro-shock therapy".​



* cultic contradictions: Also known as The Hubbard Law of Commotion ("HLOC"), an astonishing scientific breakthrough comparable to Newton's Law of Motion. The HLOC states that: "In Scientology, for each and every code, creed, policy and piece of tech, there is an equal and opposite code, creed, policy and piece of tech."

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Here is some back story.
Putting it all on this thread for posterity.
I used to meet with Marty Rathbun secretly in 2010/2011 at the Hacienda Hotel at LAX.
I chose this because the hotel takes up 2 full city blocks and has 25 different exits and entrances.

One one of these encounters Marty briefed me on the whole electric shock Emeter story.
It was an earthquake in my head for reasons listed above by HH.

A few weeks later Marty called me to say he needed to visit Sarge in the mid west.
It was vital because Sarge was ill and his story needed to be taped and on record.
Marty wanted it for his book.
Marty asked would I pay for his air fare, his week's stay and give $1000 for Sarge ?
(Sarge was limping along financially. Remember, no matter how many years of service in the Sea Org, there is no pension, no 501K, no medical or health insurance, absolutely nothing.)
I agreed and paid.
So I am embroiled in this piece of history having funded it.
Time has since marched on... oh well
 
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New Feature On The
TOP SUPER-STUPID
MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY


SIMPLE QUESTIONS THAT SCIENTOLOGISTS
CANNOT ANSWER WITHOUT LYING
THEIR ETHICAL OT ASSES OFF

​

BACKGROUND:
Scientologists frequently proclaim & pretend that they are: "The most ethical people on the planet!" Their Way To Happiness booklet also assures that they are the most honest! Their "scientific" literature also guarantees that Scientologists are the most intelligent people that ever lived. In fact super-geniuses! Do the math, their IQ is raised by one point for every hour of auditing they receive. Therefore, an average human (IQ 100) even before they go clear achieves an IQ over 200, making Einstein (IQ 160) look like a total "DB".

WHAT DOES ALL THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANSWERING QUESTIONS OR LYING?
A lot! By their own standards, the most ethical and intelligent people in the world should have no problems answering questions, right? In addition to that, Scientologists are trained on the very course they do (The Communication Course) on the first day to always get an answer to their questions. They call it Training Routine 3 (TR-3). They are fanatical about forcing people to answer their questions. But do they apply these same standards to themselves when someone asks THEM a question?

Let's try a few examples. . .and see if they can answer simple questions without lying:


QUESTION: Ron continuously about exteriorization and claimed that every being will exteriorize if they receive auditing? You are OT VIII, can you exteriorize?​
ANSWER: Um, certainly. I have exteriorized on many occasions. Everyone can do it.​
QUESTION: Can you show us how you exteriorize now?​
ANSWER: Um, I don't do parlor tricks.​
​
​
QUESTION: Do Scientologists believe in 75M year old space aliens that haunt everyone.​
ANSWER: Um, people often confuse Ron's science fiction with his scientific research.​
​
​
QUESTION: If Hubbard's tech can really create a world without insanity, war and criminality---and save mankind---why doesn't Scientology use its 3 billion dollars in cash reserves to give the technology away for free online?​
ANSWER: Um, but we do give our tech away for free. We have free personality tests, free pinch tests, free intro lectures, free videos and free tech estimates. In fact we're all about "total freedom"!​
​
​
QUESTION: I added up all the levels that Scientology charges money for. It came to over 600,000 dollars for every person. For an average family of four, thats $2.4 million dollars! Are you people serious? Who can afford that insanity?​
ANSWER: Um, actually its very easy to pay for Scientology. You can simply sign up for a co-audit course and get your auditing for free. Our communication Course, for example, is only 25 dollars. An average visit to Starbucks is $4, so if a person goes to Starbucks for a week that's more than Scientology costs!​
​
​
FEEL FREE TO CONTRIBUTE OTHER ​
QUESTIONS SCIENTOLOGISTS CAN'T​
ANSWER WITHOUT LYING THEIR ASS OFF​

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A post from ESMB's brilliant resident underground artist
ILove2Lurk. This one--a scintillating satirical sendup on
an election day post from another thread.


- - -

tonescale-jpg.7444


- - -
​
I CSW'd for permission to tweak IL2L's hilarious tone scale, specifically for this
thread--and hereby humbly tender it below with 2 minor alter-is-ness-es
that had ideal standard-ness, Scientological-ness & stupid-ness.

- - -
SCHADENFREUDE.jpg


.​
 
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EX-SCIENTOLOGIST'S TONE SCALE - Part II

Nigel-and-Marty-in-This-is-Spinal-Tap.jpg


"These Tone Scales go up to 80."

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Cross-posted from another thread discussing an "Indie Scientology" promo
piece about their Ideal Ideation that they are delivering OT levels that really work!
Not like the merely 100% workable OT levels delivered by the Church of Scientology.
Their OT levels have miraculously advanced all the way up to 179% workability!



screenshot_20201115-080251_1605452751359-png.7743


How perfectly, pretentiously, paradoxically & paranormally pathetic---that they named their advanced level "EXCALIBUR", after the miraculously made-up myth about a shore story sword with magical powers.

Scientology, itself, is a myth of kinds. A mythed withhold.

AUDITING REMEDY: Pull the withhold, by repetitively asking the preclear: "What did other people do to make you think they knew you were lying about your magical superpowers?"

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Thanks for posting that sacred scripture on "ETHICS"! It explains the time Dr. Hubbard threw an (est.) 4 year old little boy into a nightmarishly dank and dark CHAIN LOCKER, where the terrorized child hysterically cried for a long period of time.

I had the mistaken idea that Ron was sadistically torturing that poor innocent little lad simply because he chewed on piece of paper that belonged to "Mankind's Greatest Friend".

Now my knowingness has expanded and I can see that Dr. Hubbard was merely apply the ethics gradients on a psychotically evil SP who was hiding inside a child's body in order to sabotage the Commodore's dream of saving mankind. That kid was very lucky he only chewed on some sacred scripture instead of chewing on a hundred dollar bill---otherwise Ron would have had to overboard that diminutive demon in order to get them to stop dramatizing evil purposes next life (after drowning) when they came back and an incomparably generous Ron forgave them and provided yet another chance to gain Total Freedom.

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Under extreme duress, to get the hell out of the Sea Org...those that do not escape, must sit down at OSA INT offices,
6331 Hollywood Blvd. LA 90028
Under video cameras, an attorney and security guards not seen on video
and sign this gagging document which also threatens huge amounts of dollars if they violate.
The battered Sea Org members believe it.

Lia V. Kea
posts these on Facebook groups.
BAWAH WA on the threats of $50,000 for each violation and post.....


126162015_4013235768704132_6127326748413805458_o.jpg
 
It is sometimes difficult to read <sigh>


View attachment 7877

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I can see how that would be a huge win--when a family member signs a billion year contract to a pathologically lying con artist who bankrupts victims by selling them imaginary miracle powers.

Who wouldn't celebrate having a loved one become a sycophantically saluting slave on this slave planet to a severely mentally ill guru in a nautical costume hiding from authorities in a Bluebird motorhome?

What a rare and delightful honor it must be, to have a family member serve as a member of the elite team that not only brought down the Berlin Wall but currently is shattering the Wall of Fire, thereby erasing the 4th dynamic engram and salvaging this sector of the universe!

If anyone reading the above does not have total Reality on it, your tech estimate is going to be higher than we previously told you.


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Under extreme duress, to get the hell out of the Sea Org...those that do not escape, must sit down at OSA INT offices,
6331 Hollywood Blvd. LA 90028
Under video cameras, an attorney and security guards not seen on video
and sign this gagging document which also threatens huge amounts of dollars if they violate.
The battered Sea Org members believe it.

Lia V. Kea
posts these on Facebook groups.
BAWAH WA on the threats of $50,000 for each violation and post.....


View attachment 7801

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Paying only $50,000 for every time one shares their experiences from Scientology seems like quite a bargain.

Because, all one's experiences in Scientology are huge and priceless wins! ("Scientology is the only game in the universe where everyone wins" - L. Ron Hubbard)

One should not think about the $50K as some sort of fine or penalty; but rather a very modest and voluntary toll road donation for the privilege of traveling the road to Total Freedom.

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A cult lawyer crafted document.
Get them off the hook for isolating someone with bodyguards for INTROSPECTION Rundown.
This is a result of the Lisa Mcpherson tragedy.

View attachment 7798

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excerpt from Scientology contract:
"WHILE IT IS UNLIKELY THAT I WILL EVER BE IN A CONDITION
WHERE PSYCHIATRIC INTERVENTION MAY BE DEEMED AN OPTION. . ."


BRAND NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
(reading contract, stops and looks up with anxiety)
I don't get this part about psychiatric intervention!
To be honest this is freaking me out, isn't that
like saying I might go totally insane from
doing that communication course you
just told me about 5 minutes ago
when you stopped me on
the street?

SCIENTOLOGIST
Oh, don't worry about that it's just something
a lawyer wrote. Nobody reads that.

BRAND NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
But I just read that.

SCIENTOLOGIST
Okay, you read it but we don't really mean it.

BRAND NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
If you don't really mean it, then it shouldn't
be a problem if I don't really sign it, right?

SCIENTOLOGIST
Well, it's okay, go ahead and sign it,
you know--just to make our lawyers happy.

BRAND NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
I thought you said that Scientology
was supposed to make me happy.

SCIENTOLOGIST
Well....but Scientology's purpose is to make you happy!
It's just that if you don't let us do what we need to do, you are
forcing us to lock your degraded ass in a god-damned fucking
hotel room with guards, until you go totally insane and die. And
then where are we at? Our church's legal bills are going to be
in the millions and we will be forced to sue your widow and
children and bankrupt them. Can you start to see how
your reactive mind is not letting us make you happy?
.
​
 
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Karen,
Hugs! That type of thing hurts my heart to read, but I cannot imagine how statements like that must affect you! That’s why your voice is so important, such that those co$ members who may lurk here or elsewhere are made aware of the reality of the Sea Org so they may quietly discourage their loved ones from joining,

That said, I can’t fathom the pain and sacrifice required to take what was likely the most painful loss you’ve ever experienced and then relive that tragedy repeatedly in order to protect others from your experience.

Please pass on a cuddle to your fur babies and your incredible birds for me from afar. I met someone who also does bird rescue and she had a magnificent female Galah/Rose-Breasted cockatoo. (Molukans and/or Goffins are still my favorites, but I’ve never met a cockatoo I didn’t love!) Hope you & Jeffrey have a wonderful Thanksgiving

It is sometimes difficult to read <sigh>
 
It is sometimes difficult to read <sigh>


View attachment 7877
It pains me severely to see this.

I am currently UTR, and it is a bit tricky because I am surrounded by current still-in scn's. I have a friend that has two kids, and they are both in the S.O. recruiters sights. As a result of that, I did say something to him, and it escalated into the "I am no longer an active scn" talk to him, with warnings for his kids. I have no one to blame but myself for the years I spent, but it pains me to see the trap that awaits for kids of the cult. Ugh.
 
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From The Hall of Fame Of
Scintillatingly Stupid Scientological Science



IF YOUR RELIGION HAD THE TECHNOLOGY TO TURN ORDINARY
HUMAN BEINGS INTO "HOMO NOVIS" CAPABLE OF LEAVING THEIR
PHYSICAL BODIES, MAKING OBJECTS LEVITATE, HEAL INCURABLE
DISEASES, TRANSCEND SUFFERING & DEATH, KNOW ALL OF THE
UNIVERSE'S & LIFE'S DEEPEST MYSTERIES, ATTAIN SUPERNATURAL
POWERS TO TRANSFORM THEIR OWN LIVES WITH MAGICAL MIRACLES
& SAVE ALL MANKIND ON THIS PLANET FROM WAR, INSANITY & CRIMINALITY--

WHAT IMAGE WOULD YOU WANT THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE
IF THEY SEARCHED "SCIENTOLOGY" ON GOOGLE IMAGE?


SEARCH RESULTS: FIRST 144 IMAGES

Screen_Shot_2020_11_24_at_7.33.13_AM.png



WHAT SINGLE ACHIEVEMENT IS SCIENTOLOGY MOST PROUD OF?
OUT OF 144 PROMOTIONAL PHOTOS
Charity: 0 (0%)
Miracles: 0 (0%)
Healing: 0 (0%)
Immortality: 0 (0%)
Boats: 1 (0.007%)
Celebrities: 10 (7%)
Buildings: 105 (73%)

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Scientology Google search: Part II:
Boats: 1 (0.007%)
Celebrities: 10 (7%)
Buildings: 105 (73%)
- - -
​
For alliterative symmetry's sake, it's a shame that Scientology's TOP 3 PROUDEST ACHIEVEMENTS didn't all begin with the letter "B". I wonder if Scientology tech can handle that. . .


BOATS, BUILDINGS AND...

curise.jpg


BOMBASTIC BT-BURDENED BULLSHITTERS
​
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