TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax! said:
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Scientology has for 70 years bragged about the state of Clear. In order for any Scientologist to pass the scientific tests authenticating their attainment of this paranormal state, they must submit evidence of a "Clear Cog".

The "Clear Cognition" must be a compelling and articulated realization that "I am creating my own bank" or words to that effect. It is an extraordinarily confidential matter and no Scientologists who have not already attested to the state of Clear are allowed to ever know, read about or hear anything about that upper level epiphany. It is believed by Scientologist that if a PRE-clear discovers the Clear Cog by hearing those six magic words (e.g. "I am mocking up my own bank") before they naturally come upon those words themselves---that they will never be able to go Clear. Thus extraordinary safeguards must be in place to keep those 6 words TOP SECRET, lest beings lose their eternity.

Similarly there is another category of life-and-death "COG" that Scientologists must never discover.

The BlowCog: This confidential realization sabotages a being's eternity by forcing them to fall and/or dive off Dr. Hubbard's Bridge to Freedom.

The moment a Scientologist has either of the following BlowCogs
they instantly attain the omniscient state of Ex-Scientologist.

I am not actually "imprisoned on a slave planet' as Hubbard assured,
I am instead 'imprisoned in a slave hoax' called Scientology.

I am not actually 'trapped in the MEST universe' as Hubbard warned
I am actually 'trapped in the messed up universe' that Hubbard created.

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​
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The Blow Cog! I love it. I got my Blow Cog when I was on the Fleece Winds. I vowed while I was on the Little Ship of Horrors for the very last time in my life - after attesting to Oat Tea Ate - that I was done with Scientology. I kept my Blow Cog to myself. I had the Blow Cog after doing the entire Bridge that Scientology is based on belief not science. I was no more at cause now over MEST than before I started. In fact, I had more control and cause over MEST before I got trapped in this cult of baloney.
Finally, I really saw the truth. I finally saw that these people, these staff members, are holding me hostage on a Ship of Horrors.
Their only goal is to drain me of my last dime and will discard me with no sorrow or regret. The Bridge is a hoax. It is a lot of attention getting, keeping you busy so you don't have a life and draining you of all assets including your energy. I had purchased admiration for decades and I lived in a bubble of delusion. Oh well, It only cost me a few million and decades of my life but heh - I left the cult alive with family in tact and now I am free.
 
guanoloco said:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're talking the right thing.
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Yeah, that one was really a disturbing view into the deranged (and re-arranged) psyche of a Scientology believer. What I remember well about it was the CERTAINTY and condescending contempt embedded in "LRH OT VIEWPOINT".

That entire package of dismissive disregard for the ability and intelligence of the listener, is pure LRH. It's in fact one of the great and effective rhetorical gimmicks he used to sell the hoax:

"Oh, the indignities of having to lower oneself down
to the pathetical level of a lowly homo sapiens
in order to save their degraded little souls!"

. ​
 
HelluvaHoax! said:
Yeah, that one was really a disturbing view into the deranged (and re-arranged) psyche of a Scientology believer. What I remember well about it was the CERTAINTY and condescending contempt embedded in "LRH OT VIEWPOINT".

That entire package of dismissive disregard for the ability and intelligence of the listener, is pure LRH. It's in fact one of the great and effective rhetorical gimmicks he used to sell the hoax:

"Oh, the indignities of having to lower oneself down
to the pathetical level of a lowly homo sapiens
in order to save their degraded little souls!"

. ​
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It reminded me of your story of throwing a bone to the down and out Scientologists who, instead of humbly thanking you for the support, flunked you for no Org Board.

As to the video...wasn't it someone's uncle or something and the book was like FOT or 8-8008 or something? And the guy was flippantly giving out OT advice and examples with certainty and knowingness having never experienced them or demonstrated them.
 
guanoloco said:
It reminded me of your story of throwing a bone to the down and out Scientologists who, instead of humbly thanking you for the support, flunked you for no Org Board.

As to the video...wasn't it someone's uncle or something and the book was like FOT or 8-8008 or something? And the guy was flippantly giving out OT advice and examples with certainty and knowingness having never experienced them or demonstrated them.
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LOL, you nailed it!

He was somewhat annoyed (my impression) that beings on this planet did not remember (like Ron and himself) all the OT powers a being really has. It's all so simple, you see, poor homo sapiens--they get MEST diseases like cancer that are so silly and can be solved so easily with a couple of magic-mojo touch assists*.

"Abrah-Kadabrah
Feel My Fingah
Abrah-Kadabrah
Your cancer's not gonna lingah!"




.​
* "Now the little trick I want you to pull on your friends is a simple one, very simple one. Any time you see somebody bunged up, you know, with a blister or warts or something of the sort—just put your finger on it and say “Look at my finger, Look at my finger”, each time he does, “Look at my finger”--even though it’s on the back of his neck, you see? “Look at my finger, look at my finger,” just keep that up for a while and if it’s something real bad like, uh, oh I don’t know, cancer— something like that, keep doing it, keep doing it, every day for 15 or 20 minutes a day. It’ll go away and you will become a miracle healer." - L. Ron Hubbard

.​
 
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Dotey OT said:
<snip>
I can see the new promo now:

Would you like to always be able to find a parking space!!!!
<snip>
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This would never work on us old SO salts. I mean, first you need to have a car. In PAC "ain't nobody got time for that" ;)
 
HelluvaHoax! said:
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Ever wonder what the messianic Miscavige
is musing when he mirthfully manipulates
marks into making him millions?

CDYH7XNSRZBL3LJRZ5L76K33DM.JPG



"USEFUL ABLE IDIOTS!"​

.
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[/QUOTE] Classic covert hostility encapsulated in his face and demeanor. He smiles in sneering ridicule of what fools his targets are.
 
Operating DB said:
Classic covert hostility encapsulated in his face and demeanor. He smiles in sneering ridicule of what fools his targets are.
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View attachment 1975
I still think Miscavige looks like the mascot of Mad Magazine.
[/QUOTE]
He's a dead ringer for Alfred E. Neuman, perhaps this is what he's trying to overcompensate for, not that he doesn't have other shortcomings.
 
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It's nice to hear again from our old friend, Commander Ex!

He's come back online because he has some exciting new data to share with us, based on a massive 25 year research project where he personally surveyed all 22 million active Scientologists in good standing!

1582754391800.png

"I am happy to report that after conducting a quarter-century of standard
surveys, we have finally tabulated the top 3 responses!" - Commander Ex

WHAT DO YOU AS AN OPERATING THETAN MOST FEAR
COULD PREVENT YOU FROM ATTAINING TOTAL FREEDOM?
TOP 3 ANSWERS
#1: Bankruptcy
#2: Implants
#3: SPs

​
In a related survey, we were surprised to discover that 98% of Scientologists fully blow--before attaining their full-blown OT superpowers. When surveyed why they would leave when they were realizing such miraculous wins, the number one answer was: "Because Scientology SPs like Hubbard/Miscavige were implanting me so badly that I foolishly gave them all my money and went bankrupt!"

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​
 
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Here's one (1) of many spooferiffic "RON MAGAZINES" by the poster Pseudonym.

Click HERE for lots more.

pjV76mr.jpg


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"Any human group is likely to elect only those who will
kill them. That's concluded from actual 1950 experiments."
- L. Ron Hubbard​


I think that quote by Dr. Hubbard was quite unfairly taken out of context. Naturally, as a Clear, my perfect memory should not be invalidated nor questioned as to the full original quote:


"Any human group is likely to elect/donate only those who will
kill them and/or implant, defraud, bankrupt, enslave them
for a billion years. That's concluded from actual 1950
experiments called Dianetics & Scientology."


.​
 
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Another survey for those with children at home.

I think they are somewhat encouraging staff to have children now at this org. They have had a couple baby showers there for staff.

I guess if you can't get the raw meat to walk in you can breed it.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Quick survey for Scientology parents in XXX. You can PM the answers to me if you want. Which would you be more interested in for your kids:
  1. "Sunday school" teaching kids the basics of Scientology such as The Way to Happiness, Eight Dynamics, etc.
  2. Group processing for kids
  3. Specific events for kids at the org (like volunteering or doingness-type activities with other kids).
  4. More activities at events

Side questions:
What do you most need help with in raising your kids as Scientologists?
What pieces of Tech are you most interested in teaching them?
What help do you need fro the org?
 
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cross-posted from another thread
showing a tour of Amsterdam Ideal Org

posted by SuperstarNeilC

- - -
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So, after 30 years of being in
Scientology, her entire takeaway is that--
"It's just like Buddhism!"


WOG
So, if it's just like Buddhism---
I think I'll just stick with Buddhism.

STAFF MEMBER
No No No! That's a really bad idea.
Scientology is actually much better than Buddhism!

WOG
Really? How so?

STAFF MEMBER
Well for starters, Buddhism doesn't have all of our spiritual technology
like graphs on clipboards or Ideal marble floors---and they don't
pay 10% commission for bringing in new customers!

.​
 
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Harden Long said:
And you know what just occurred to me? It's that time on other planets would be measured in differing increments because of the differing lengths of time that it would take each planet to make a revolution in it's orbit. After all, that's how our measurement scale of time came into being. Size of the planet would be a key factor in how long it would take to revolve each time. A Mars day is 24.9 Earth hours for example. So one's sense of time would not nor could not be one seamless sense of universal measure. So that in itself would make Hubbard's date/locate related "tech"unworkable. And, of course, Hubbard pulled his claims from his ass whenever he self promoted, and on any subject no matter how little he really knew about anything and everything.
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You’re in ‘think think’, off to the clay demo table for you.
Possibly an M1 retread.
Sorry, this is gonna cost you🤪
 
Victoria said:
You’re in ‘think think’, off to the clay demo table for you.
Possibly an M1 retread.
Sorry, this is gonna cost you.
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Not at all, I watch a lot of Science and Discovery channel material about these things but realize you don't get those channels in the Sea Org. Are you able to articulate what you are in disagreement with? Or are you just another L. Ron clone whereby if it isn't written, by him, then it isn't true? But God Bless you, if not for the hopelessly irrational I wouldn't have been so quick to get free of Scientologists and Scientology by the late 70's. Planets make their revolutions at different speeds and I'm not going to do the math breakdown on what that does to the length of a day to those who would live there, if they do or ever do. What you're too stupid to understand is not my problem, OSA C. Banish you to ignore.
For others edification:
How long are years on other planets?
A year is defined as the time it takes a planet to complete one revolution of the Sun, for Earth this is just over 365 days. This is also known as the orbital period. Unsurprisingly the the length of each planet’s year correlates with its distance from the Sun as seen in the graph above. The precise amount of time in Earth days it takes for each planet to complete its orbit can be seen below.

Mercury: 87.97 days (0.2 years)
Venus : 224.70 days (0.6 years)
Earth: 365.26 days(1 year)
Mars: 686.98 days(1.9 years)
Jupiter: 4,332.82 days (11.9 years)
Saturn: 10,755.70 days (29.5 years)
Uranus: 30,687.15 days (84 years)
Neptune: 60,190.03 days (164.8 years)
Orbital Periods of the Planets - Space Facts
 
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- SCIENTOLOGY'S SCIENTIFICALLY STUPID STATS -
Since being discovered in 1950, the "modern science" has had...

70 YEARS
3,640 WEEKS
25,550 DAYS
613,200 HOURS
36,792,000 MINUTES

TO PROVE THEIR TECH WORKS

It would have only required 1 of those 36 million minutes to record on film/video just
1 human performing 1 supernatural feat with 1 paranormal power.
Just 1 proof, 1 time.

Yet, instead, they spent the entire 7 decades frantically promoting OT
miracles with billions of boastfully and blusterously bombastic words.

And they bilked and banked billions of bucks for their bilious braggadocio.

So what are Scientology's stats?
Zero

Zero times they proved any of their wildly outrageous claims.
Zero times they delivered what they promised.
And zero times they answered truthfully
when asked why they can't simply
demonstrate even one
superior ability.

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​
 
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THE OT CHALLENGE!

Today we are very fortunate today to have Scientology's most able Operating Thetan,
who has generously agreed to finally, once and for all, demonstrate a miraculous OT power!


TOM CRUISE
Well, it's a pleasure to be here and I am like totally stoked that
this show is going out on international pay-per-view so
7.3 billion beings on this planet can finally
see scientific proof that our tech works!

HOST
We are honored to have you here Mr. Cruise and we have
assembled 50 of the world's leading scientists here
to ensure that your demonstration of superhuman
powers is on the up and up.

TOM CRUISE
I wouldn't have it any other way!

HOST
Well, then, let's get started. Can you now show us
one of your miraculous powers? Take as much time
as you need, our show runs 3 hours.
We shall now begin. START!

[ Mr. Cruise concentrates mightily, staring into the camera while gathering, consolidating and
and focusing his theta units for a miraculous burst. This continues for 3 hours. ]

HOST
Well we are at the 3 hour mark, Mr. Cruise.
Are you at last ready to show us
your miracle?

TOM CRUISE
I just did.

HOST
What? I am awfully sorry, I must have missed it.
We can roll back the video tape if you just
tell us when the miracle happened.

TOM CRUISE
It happened the entire 3 hours! I just demonstrated the
miraculous power to be there and do nothing.

.​


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DISCLAIMER: The author apologizes for the regrettably recurring repetition of the same punchline ("be there and do nothing") which has proven unavoidable due to fact that the joke called "OT" is always the same.


Scientology Guide to Idiotic Idioms: The term "be there and do nothing" derives from the first and arguably most important training drill practiced by Scientologists from their very first day of their very first course ("The Communications Course"). The drill is called Training Routine Zero ("TR-O") where Scientologists sit across from each other a few feel apart, staring into each other eyes until they acquire the miraculous power to "be there and do nothing".

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HelluvaHoax! said:
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It would have only required 1 of those 36 million minutes to record on film/video just
1 human performing 1 supernatural feat with 1 paranormal power.
​
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Oh I remember seeing myself one of those videos where Hubbard is using a paranormal power. Seriously.

It was Hubbard speaking to a full auditorium and talking about men living on Jupiter. None of the men in the auditorium stood up and called bs on Hubbard - that was a supernatural feat.
 
Karakorum said:
Oh I remember seeing myself one of those videos where Hubbard is using a paranormal power. Seriously.

It was Hubbard speaking to a full auditorium and talking about men living on Jupiter. None of the men in the auditorium stood up and called bs on Hubbard - that was a supernatural feat.
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LOL!

However, as stated previously on this thread, no one stood up and called BS on Hubbard because they were OTs, demonstrating the paranormal power to be there and do nothing.

Yeah, I know--I keep using the same entheta punchline. But I have accepted the fact that all this "joking and degrading" has already sabotaged my eternity---resulting in me having to spend endless trillions of years in hell, left behind while all the Scientologists get to fly off to other super-theta parts of the universe.

After much reflection, I finally realized that had I known all this before, I would have actually paid for them to leave earlier so I could finally relax and enjoy myself down here on this slave planet.

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Harden Long said:
Not at all, I watch a lot of Science and Discovery channel material about these things but realize you don't get those channels in the Sea Org. Are you able to articulate what you are in disagreement with?
...snipped...
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I can't be 100% sure what's in anyone's mind--- but wasn't Victoria just joking around to have some fun?

.
 
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