TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

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Scientology has for 70 years bragged about the state of Clear. In order for any Scientologist to pass the scientific tests authenticating their attainment of this paranormal state, they must submit evidence of a "Clear Cog".

The "Clear Cognition" must be a compelling and articulated realization that "I am creating my own bank" or words to that effect. It is an extraordinarily confidential matter and no Scientologists who have not already attested to the state of Clear are allowed to ever know, read about or hear anything about that upper level epiphany. It is believed by Scientologist that if a PRE-clear discovers the Clear Cog by hearing those six magic words (e.g. "I am mocking up my own bank") before they naturally come upon those words themselves---that they will never be able to go Clear. Thus extraordinary safeguards must be in place to keep those 6 words TOP SECRET, lest beings lose their eternity.

Similarly there is another category of life-and-death "COG" that Scientologists must never discover.

The BlowCog: This confidential realization sabotages a being's eternity by forcing them to fall and/or dive off Dr. Hubbard's Bridge to Freedom.

The moment a Scientologist has either of the following BlowCogs
they instantly attain the omniscient state of Ex-Scientologist.

I am not actually "imprisoned on a slave planet' as Hubbard assured,
I am instead 'imprisoned in a slave hoax' called Scientology.

I am not actually 'trapped in the MEST universe' as Hubbard warned
I am actually 'trapped in the messed up universe' that Hubbard created.

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[Dotey OT]

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inspired by a post on another thread
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In fact, 5 cars in the Ideal Org's ideal parking lot is not an outpoint. It's ideal, because of this:

THE HUBBARD LAW OF MIRACULOUS OT WINS: Due to the scientific fact that certain dangerous fallout has resulted in the past when OTs have demonstrated their God-like superpowers, it is necessary that "All OT miracles must remain strictly confidential!" Otherwise, evil intergalactic space aliens who police the universe looking to detect & destroy any technology (that frees beings to their native OT state of omnipotence) might become aware of the emergence of Dr. Hubbard's. total-freedom tech on this remote slave planet---and they would assuredly attack mankind with debilitating implants and/or pull the air cover off this planet. ​

EXCEPTION: In order to serve the Church of Scientology's marketing efforts to sell skeptics on its Bridge to Total Freedom, Dr. Hubbard has generously provides a lone exception to the confidentiality law above. By allowing one narrowly defined category of preternatural OT powers to be witnessed and/or published, billions of humans can begin their advance to OT in stealth mode and evil space SPs dedicated to their destruction are none the wiser. For this reason, OT's may share any and all miracles related to the subject of finding parking spaces. The revelation of this data hereby fully debunks any critic's defamatory claim that the Ideal Org Program has failed by offering so-called "photographic evidence" of totally empty parking lots at our churches. Vacant parking lots are maintained by design, in order to maximize the allocated square footage that is dedicated for OTs to drill, practice & perform miracles.

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Then, in order to give all newcomers OT wins, and feel like they can actually demonstrate OT powers, having an empty parking lot is a sort of kindness to the mere mortals that venture in to see an idol shmorgue. This is the only place in this congested area where one can demonstrate such a gift of OT abilities, as in finding a place to park a car!! All newcomers will immediately know that this IS the place to lose their money and freedom!! But from here on out, they will never, ever again have a problem finding a place to park the car!! They will have that going for them.

And on the second floor, they can turn on and open up that bathroom that is broken and allow people to use it. As a result, there will be standing water on the first floor. All newcomers will then be granted to have OT powers, well, kinda. They will be able to walk on water!!

I can see the new promo now:

Would you like to always be able to find a parking space!!!!

Would you like to walk on water???

Tired of having money problems?? Well, we will fix that!! (editor: no money? No problems. So you will have no money, not their problem)

Would you like to live forever?? (editor, again: when you find out that it's not true, it'll be too late)

Attend the OT POWERS Q & A Panel Briefing Seminar Thingy!!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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I can see the promo now. . .
Would you like to always be able to find a parking space!!!!

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THESIS: There may be more economical alternatives than doing Scientology. . .

AVERAGE COST OF DOING SCIENTOLOGY: $ 600,000

BENEFIT OF DOING SCIENTOLOGY: OT ability to find a parking space

SQUIRREL ALTERNATIVE: Valet parking

ANALYSIS METRICS: Instead of wasting 40 years and $ 600,000 going OT, one could simply use Valet parking.

-- Assume 60 years of driving/parking (16 years old - 76 years old)​

-- $600K divided by 60 years = average parking budget of $10,000 per year​

-- $10K per year = $ 192 per week​

CONCLUSION: Since no human in history has ever spent $192 a week on valet parking for 60 straight years, it is therefore cheaper to not do Scientology.

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[guanoloco]

I need help, people.

I'm humbly coming to this community for much needed aid and assistance.

There's a huge void in my space that I desperately need filled.

Literally...it is destroying my Havingness. I'm literally shaking right now!

...anyway...it was this video of some Scientologist guy talking about a Scientology book like FOT or something and he's nonchalantly quipping about all this OT phenomena when he's demonstrably not succeeding in life. Does anyone recall this video?

I can't find it and it's a classic in Stupidology.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I need help, people.

I'm humbly coming to this community for much needed aid and assistance.

There's a huge void in my space that I desperately need filled.

Literally...it is destroying my Havingness. I'm literally shaking right now!

...anyway...it was this video of some Scientologist guy talking about a Scientology book like FOT or something and he's nonchalantly quipping about all this OT phenomena when he's demonstrably not succeeding in life. Does anyone recall this video?

I can't find it and it's a classic in Stupidology.

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Are you talking about the quasi-scary video where a really deranged dude (not just normal Scn-deranged, but seriously mentally ill on top of that) was in his apartment rambling off endless strings of "OT-SOUNDING CERTAINTIES" which sounded suspiciously like Hubbard taking about miraculous powers of a being as if it's no big deal?

Is that the one---where the guy looked about a half-a-blowdown away from being a homeless lunatic parading up and down the street ranting about aliens and the end of the planet?

One could probably do a SEARCH on the old ESMB or on YouTube with the parameters "CRAZY RANTING SCIENTOLOGIST" and should narrow it down a small list of only about 43,000 hits. lol

ps: I did a search on ESMB and YouTube but was quickly driven to despair because of the shocking volume of crazy ranting Scientologists. So I aborted the search---but at least I found a short video that is in the next post following this one....

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Scientology's chronic FAIL in trying to Clear the planet belongs in the HALL OF FAME of Super-Stupid moments.

Hubbard and his cult have been boasting with bountiful bravado since the 1950s how they were successfully "CLEARING THIS PLANET".

They knowing-how-to-know Scientologists still do not know why the general public rejects & ridicules the ridiculous OT claims of the cult. And they also laugh at Scientology's certainty that they are the "modern science of mental health" when their promotion shows them to be quite demented and out of communication with what normal people respond to.

Imagine, for a brief moment, being asked to donate a HALF MILLION DOLLARS to a weird-as-hell cult that promotes their "technology" with TV commercials like the following one:

Has there ever been a worse tv advertisement
that promotes the exact opposite of what it is selling?
They are selling mental health but all they can
think of to sell it is to have an amateur actor
in a ridiculous costume playing a cartoon
character who is screaming nonsensical
things to degrade scientists and doctors,
two categories of professionals that
the public deeply reveres & trusts?
Jeez, that is just unimaginably stupid!


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[Karen#1]

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Are you talking about the quasi-scary video where a really deranged dude (not just normal Scn-deranged, but seriously mentally ill on top of that) was in his apartment rambling off endless strings of "OT-SOUNDING CERTAINTIES" which sounded suspiciously like Hubbard taking about miraculous powers of a being as if it's no big deal?

Is that the one---where the guy looked about a half-a-blowdown away from being a homeless lunatic parading up and down the street ranting about aliens and the end of the planet?

One could probably do a SEARCH on the old ESMB or on YouTube with the parameters "CRAZY RANTING SCIENTOLOGIST" and should narrow it down a small list of only about 43,000 hits. lol

ps: I did a search on ESMB and YouTube but was quickly driven to despair because of the shocking volume of crazy ranting Scientologists. So I aborted the search---but at least I found a short video that is in the next post following this one....

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HH..... In-house Lawyer Ken Moxon's wife talks about communicating with Venus and its inhabitants. Must listen

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

HH..... In-house Lawyer Ken Moxon's wife talks about communicating with Venus and its inhabitants. Must listen

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LOL

Startlingly stupid but not exactly for the reason I first thought. After watching it with cringe-filled, slack-jawed disbelief that even a Scientologist could dream up such a dorky miracle, I had too many unanswered questions. First amongst them was:

WHERE THE HELL WAS THAT STORY BEING TOLD?
A Graduation? An IAS event? Flag? An OT convention?
Some kind of Reg Event for the IAS or Ideal Orgs?​

So I started it over and then noticed at the very beginning there was a partial banner and also part of a presentation placard. AHA! It was a "TOASTMASTERS INTERNATIONAL" event at Celebrity Center.

Speech-givers have a choice of different genres of story they can make up and she appears to have chosen one of their mainstays---"THE FOLK TALE" (see LINK HERE TO TOASTMASTERS WEBSITE).

Thanks for that link, now I'll lay out why I think it is still just as cringey-stupid as if she hadn't knowingly made it up as a story-telling drill.

1) These are actually the exact kind of OT WINS that get published by Scientology's Advance! Magazine. The miraculous success stories published in that cult propaganda rag are equally or even more ludicrous.​

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2) What she is doing live on stage is exactly what happens in a Scientology auditing session. Instead of standing up at Toastmasters stiffly speaking her stilted sci-fi saucer story---let's put her in an auditing session where she is "running wholetrack incidents" while on an e-meter under the control of a world-class auditor. Same story. Same Moxon looking inside her head and making stuff up. The only difference is that in one scenario she receives applause--and in the other scenario she receives a standing ovation, a completion certificate and a master card bill at the end of the month that shows a balance owed that is $15,000 higher than the previous month.​

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3) Craziest of all, this modus operandi---Make up a Folk Tale"---was L. Ron Hubbard's entire business model!​

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[Karen#1]

#Scientology #cult #Religion #ScientologytheAftermath #Cienciologia

The International events presented to the public are always drilled and billed ahead of time. So Tom Cruise had to

*practice* saluting David Miscavige. Wonder what Tom Cruise was thinking practicing saluting. 2 civilians mimicking a military salute

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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posted by Karen#1

The International events presented to the public are always drilled and billed ahead of time. So Tom Cruise had to .

*practice* saluting David Miscavige. Wonder what Tom Cruise was thinking practicing saluting. 2 civilians mimicking a military salute



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Nice photo!

The Messianic Moviestar & The Money-Mad Misanthrope.

They salute so seriously since they are soul-saving, sector salvaging sailors in the Salvation Navy.

They are taking responsibility for all DBs stuck in the MEST trap.

You don't need to talk to them, you just need to thank them.



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[stratty]

HH..... In-house Lawyer Ken Moxon's wife talks about communicating with Venus and its inhabitants. Must listen

I only listened to the first sixty seconds or so, but that was enough to convince me that this person is seriously mentally ill / delusional.

 

[guanoloco]

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Are you talking about the quasi-scary video where a really deranged dude (not just normal Scn-deranged, but seriously mentally ill on top of that) was in his apartment rambling off endless strings of "OT-SOUNDING CERTAINTIES" which sounded suspiciously like Hubbard taking about miraculous powers of a being as if it's no big deal?

Is that the one---where the guy looked about a half-a-blowdown away from being a homeless lunatic parading up and down the street ranting about aliens and the end of the planet?

One could probably do a SEARCH on the old ESMB or on YouTube with the parameters "CRAZY RANTING SCIENTOLOGIST" and should narrow it down a small list of only about 43,000 hits. lol

ps: I did a search on ESMB and YouTube but was quickly driven to despair because of the shocking volume of crazy ranting Scientologists. So I aborted the search---but at least I found a short video that is in the next post following this one....

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're talking the right thing.

 

[Harden Long]

HH..... In-house Lawyer Ken Moxon's wife talks about communicating with Venus and its inhabitants. Must listen

She said her husband's name is Rick rather than Ken.
If she can't get that right, what can she?
And of course the ET's would never notice their rocket launchers had been turned backwards and would moronically blow themselves to smithereens.
Not to mention, ET's are reportedly well past our rocket technology.

The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs. Got to keep the loonies on the path.
The lunatic is in the hall. The lunatics are in my hall.
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor. And every day the paper boy brings more.
And if the dam breaks open many years too soon.
See you on the dark side of the moon.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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She said her husband's name is Rick rather than Ken.
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Well, even a broken cult is right twice a lifetime.
As a Clear, her "file clerk" may be working after all--



KENDRICK


ps: I always love when the cult orders their marks to happily pose for cameras holding
up jumbo completion certificates that are like gargantuan clay demo labels. Each
piece of mass must have a label, ya know! But, what does Rick Moxon's
overall label say? Let's turn the OT VIII cert over and see what's on
the reverse side. Oh my, that can't be right, it says--
"KREDULOUS KSW KOOK & KORRUPT KULT KOOLAIDOLOGIST"

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[Harden Long]

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Well, even a broken cult is right twice a lifetime. . .
Her "file clerk" may be working after all--

View attachment 1969

KENDRICK


ps: I always love when the cult orders their marks to happily pose for cameras holding
up jumbo completion certificates that are like gargantuan clay demo labels. Each
piece of mass must have a label, ya know! But, what does Rick Moxon's
overall label say? Let's turn the OT VIII cert over and see what's on
the reverse side. Oh my, that can't be right, it says--
"KREDULOUS KSW KOOK & KORRUPT KULT KOOLAIDOLOGIST"

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Or Ick to break it down further and I suspect the X in Moxon is Scamatology code for the letter R.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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I think I may owe Scientology and Scientologists an apology, because--



Perhaps one should not make fun of others' religious beliefs. . .

Scientologists who have attained the state of OT VIII have much to be proud of!​

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Random Reactive Rumination
du jour

Scientology is the world's only religion that awards certificates
that scientifically confirms that the recipient is quite
happy to believe Santa 'Cause' is coming!

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Ever wonder what the messianic Miscavige
is musing when he mirthfully manipulates
marks into making him millions?

"USEFUL ABLE IDIOTS!"​

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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If Scientology
"makes the able more able"
What is it exactly that the able are more able to do?
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ANSWER
"Be there and do nothing"


What's wrong? You didn't notice that full disclosure
on the first day of the first Scientology course?

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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SCIENTOLOGY'S SPIRITUALLY UPLIFTING
"B" - DO - HAVE
BENEFITS



BESPOKE BRIONIS
BILLIONS, BTs & BEATINGS

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