TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
One of the reasons NON US countries far away are always selected for outlandish outcomes (Colombia's crime rate dropped 50%) is because none of these statistics can be proven.

View attachment 1819
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If crime in Columbia dropped 50% or even 0.000001%, it would have been for this reason:

DRUG CARTELS AND DRUG KINGPINS MAY HAVE MOMENTARILY PAUSED
THEIR INTERNATIONAL SMUGGLING OPERATIONS TO FILE THE NECESSARY
APPLICATION TO BECOME A RELIGION LIKE SCIENTOLOGY---WHERE THEY
COULD AVOID LIFE SENTENCES IN PRISON AND STILL EARN BILLIONS BY
LEGALLY SELLING MIRACULOUS SUPERPOWERS TO CREDULOUS CULTIES.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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1581550526217.png
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the above letter posted by Karen#1
HH ~~ Do you Believe ?

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Do I believe the guy? . Wow cool--I always liked surveys!

As you instructed, I filled out my responses and routed them up-lines, directly to the meritoriously medaled messianic Minister:


"I want to share with you the story of my life."
- I DO BELIEVE YOU WANT TO SHARE THAT -

"I want to share what I have been doing the the
last 5 years since I won the Freedom medal."
-
I DO BELIEVE YOU WANT TO SHARE THAT -

"I want to share, with you, how with your help,
the destiny of 440 million children has been changed."

- I DO BELIEVE YOU "WANT" TO SHARE THAT -
(And you could have shared it, had it really have happened!)


"I want to share with you how, as Scientologists, we
are bringing hope to people of India with LRH tech."

- I DO BELIEVE YOU ARE BRINGING HOPE TO PEOPLE OF INDIA -
I do believe you are not only bringing hope, but also selling hope.
I do believe that's all you are bringing & selling
.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Cross-posted from another thread discussing how to get rid
of non-stop Scientology phone-sales calls that can continue for
years or even decades after they are begged to stop.
- - -
". . .I wish they would call me but they don't. I'd ask why 90% of the original staff at Old Saint Hill that worked with LRH have been SP Declared?"
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I don't know if that is going to work. When I tried that tactic on one particularly persistent phone stalker, here is what happened:

BILLY BLOWDOWN
LOL, oh that's an easy one! LRH was not always able
back in the 1960s to detect SPs, because that was before
the Basics Books had all the punctuation marks fixed.
Before that nobody could really understand all that
ambiguous hot mess inside the Basic Books!

HH
But---Ron wrote the Basic Books!

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well---yeah but Ron hired all those SPs before he discovered the
Study Tech. So, even though he might have written the books, after that
Ron was not able to fully duplicate & understand what the hell he was reading.

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Karen#1

Well-known member
I conferred with some friends who would know.
85% of those below are SP declared, or BLOWN, or SP Holed, or routed out for "medical condition" or simply DIED.
85% !!!

Can you spot Mike Rinder's wife ? Christie Colbran ? (extreme right bottom row.)
Can you spot Amy Scobee ? (To )the right of Ron Norton in the middle.
Amy wrote the book "Abuse at the Top"
I know others in this image who post anonymously on the Internet !


003.jpg
 
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O

Oat Tea Ate

Guest
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View attachment 1827
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
the above letter posted by Karen#1
HH ~~ Do you Believe ?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Do I believe the guy? . Wow cool--I always liked surveys!

As you instructed, I filled out my responses and routed them up-lines, directly to the meritoriously medaled messianic Minister:


"I want to share with you the story of my life."
- I DO BELIEVE YOU WANT TO SHARE THAT -

"I want to share what I have been doing the the
last 5 years since I won the Freedom medal."
-
I DO BELIEVE YOU WANT TO SHARE THAT -

"I want to share, with you, how with your help,
the destiny of 440 million children has been changed."

- I DO BELIEVE YOU "WANT" TO SHARE THAT -
(And you could have shared it, had it really have happened!)


"I want to share with you how, as Scientologists, we
are bringing hope to people of India with LRH tech."

- I DO BELIEVE YOU ARE BRINGING HOPE TO PEOPLE OF INDIA -
I do believe you are not only bringing hope, but also selling hope.
I do believe that's all you are bringing & selling
.

.
Scientology - selling Hope On A Rope since 1950.

Scientology - It's more than a cult - it's a carrot on a stick that you pay to chase for eternity. Hypnosis works.

Scientology - pay to learn how to stick your head in the sand and practice manipulating others out of money and labor
Scientology - Selling the Bridge to "Achieve your dreams " and it gets you in.
Signing the Billion Year Contract, money on account and getting friends and family in - keeps you trapped.
Looking at the Internet - gets you out.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

I conferred with some friends who would know. 85% of those below (see original post for photo) are SP declared, or BLOWN, or SP Holed, or routed out for "medical condition" or simply DIED. 85% !!!

That 85% seems like an outpoint---so I asked a Church of Scientology spokesperson about it:


HH
Hey, I thought Ron said that only 2.5% of beings are SPs. How come
such an overwhelmingly huge percentage of Scientology's
most elite OT executives at Flag and at Old
Saint Hill turn out to be SPs?

COS SPOKESPERSON
Well it is quite normal actually that SPs cannot
be detected. LRH explains all that in the book
Science of Survival when he discovered that
SPs are at covert hostility on the tone scale--
not overt hostility, so they they're hiding
that they are SPs. Covert! Hellloooooo!

HH
Yeah, we know that but didn't Ron also
discover the tech of detecting & handling SPs?

COS SPOKESPERSON
You are quite correct. And LRH's tech on
spotting SPs works 100% of the time!

HH
So, if the SP tech works 100% of the time, why couldn't
Hubbard spot SPs working right next to
him 85% of the time?

COS SPOKESPERSON
Oh that's simple enough. In addition to discovering that the
tech works 100% of the time, Ron also discovered
that the tech never works on SPs 100% of the time!
I can prove this to you because right now in my
briefcase here I have affidavits from scientists
that scientifically state that it's not even
scientifically possible for anyone on this
planet to have a more perfect
success rate than 100%!

.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

from another thread where Chuck J posted
One of the most brilliantly zen-simple
political cartoons I've seen in years...

1581873097480.png

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when I saw that one, I couldn't resist this one. . .






I'll admit that the "Total Freedom" mockery above is
not a fair & accurate depiction of the Religion of Scientology.
In a less scornful and less religiously bigoted rendition, there would

not be a political guy hiding in a cringey cult clown costume, but instead
a spiritual guy hiding in a cringey cult commodore costume.

.




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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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This "there are no OTs!" gem was
posted by Chuck Beatty on another thread



- - - -

LOL


..........but there ARE OTs!
I personally saw their completion certificates! As a Clear, I can perfectly recall it right now--even
without the aid of a Self Analysis perceptic wheel!

In addition to witnessing OTs' completion certificates, their OT Grade Chart achievements were also published--in writing!


"A Lifetime in the Wholetrack"

I read the OODs* today, oh boy!

About a lucky being who made the Grade
And though their superpowers were rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh,
I saw the graduation photograph.
He blew his reactive mind out in a cog
He didn't notice that he'd been short changed.
A crowd of people stood and clapped
They'd seen his space before
Nobody was really sure
if he was from the ideal
House of Lies.

.


* OODs: "Orders Of the Day", the daily publication of miraculous events to wannabe OTS, by their supernatural guru, L. Ron Hubbard.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

A final comparison between "A DAY IN THE LIFE" and the lyrics of any Scientology song:

Original (Beatles)
"I'd love to turn you on!"

Cover Version (Hubbard)
"I'd love to turn you in!"
(on an FSM selection slip and/or KR)


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Type4_PTS

Well-known member
Scientology - selling Hope On A Rope since 1950.

Scientology - It's more than a cult - it's a carrot on a stick that you pay to chase for eternity. Hypnosis works.


Scientology - pay to learn how to stick your head in the sand and practice manipulating others out of money and labor
Scientology - Selling the Bridge to "Achieve your dreams " and it gets you in.
Signing the Billion Year Contract, money on account and getting friends and family in - keeps you trapped.
Looking at the Internet - gets you out.
Yes, so right you are!



carrot_zpsaeebcbc7.JPG
 

Type4_PTS

Well-known member
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That 85% seems like an outpoint---so I asked a Church of Scientology spokesperson about it:


HH
Hey, I thought Ron said that only 2.5% of beings are SPs. How come
such an overwhelmingly huge percentage of Scientology's
most elite OT executives at Flag and at Old
Saint Hill turn out to be SPs?

COS SPOKESPERSON
Well it is quite normal actually that SPs cannot
be detected. LRH explains all that in the book
Science of Survival when he discovered that
SPs are at covert hostility on the tone scale--
not overt hostility, so they they're hiding
that they are SPs. Covert! Hellloooooo!

HH
Yeah, we know that but didn't Ron also
discover the tech of detecting & handling SPs?

COS SPOKESPERSON
You are quite correct. And LRH's tech on
spotting SPs works 100% of the time!

HH
So, if the SP tech works 100% of the time, why couldn't
Hubbard spot SPs working right next to
him 85% of the time?

COS SPOKESPERSON
Oh that's simple enough. In addition to discovering that the
tech works 100% of the time, Ron also discovered
that the tech never works on SPs 100% of the time!
I can prove this to you because right now in my
briefcase here I have affidavits from scientists
that scientifically state that it's not even
scientifically possible for anyone on this
planet to have a more perfect
success rate than 100%!

.
Maybe LRH was correct about the 2 1/2% but was operating by the policy "Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer". :coolwink:
 

Karen#1

Well-known member
.

A final comparison between "A DAY IN THE LIFE" and the lyrics of any Scientology song:

Original (Beatles)
"I'd love to turn you on!"

Cover Version (Hubbard)
"I'd love to turn you in!"
(on an FSM selection slip and/or KR)


.
RTC has always asked Scn cult members to RAT OUT their own family, their best friends and turn them in.

Excerpt:
copies of your reports should also be sent to RTC. RTC’s Inspector General Network uses such reports to help locate hidden suppression, infiltration, subversion or corruption within and external to Scientology Churches, Missions and other Church organizations — to protect The Bridge for all.

Soliciting KNOWLEDGE REPORTS
 
O

Oat Tea Ate

Guest
RTC has always asked Scn cult members to RAT OUT their own family, their best friends and turn them in.

Excerpt:
copies of your reports should also be sent to RTC. RTC’s Inspector General Network uses such reports to help locate hidden suppression, infiltration, subversion or corruption within and external to Scientology Churches, Missions and other Church organizations — to protect The Bridge for all.

Soliciting KNOWLEDGE REPORTS
Yes, a ratting out each other is the real atmosphere Scientology tech and Scientologists create (by participating) within the walls of all Orgs in Scientology. It is covertly hidden from view. It is HELL on earth. I am so fricken happy I am out of that hell hole.
 

Karen#1

Well-known member
Why does the cult carry on like this ?

Because ~~ it's Ok to Lie, Cover up, Embellish, Exaggerate, Magnify, lay it on thick, if it IMPROVES THE PR OF THE CHURCH !

Every press release is a blatant lie.
I could almost write them myself. "We have "Unprecedented expansion" blah blah blah"
They lie to the Courts. "there is no Sea Org", Sea Org has no bank account....
LIES LIES LIES.
Sea Org Reserves bank account has been there for decades.
Scientology Inc pretends morality while engaging with the ethics of an alleycat.


DMLIAR.jpg
 

Enthetan

Veteran of the Psychic Wars
They have 200,000 years of whole track experience.
They could use Ron's wonderful tech to train up drivers and crew. (Touch that gearshift...)
Yeah, that's another glaring hole: NOBODY manages to recall his advanced-space-civilization science and engineering schooling, and make $billions on the knowledge.
 

Enthetan

Veteran of the Psychic Wars
Sea Org Reserves bank account has been there for decades.
Does the account statement actually say "Sea Org Reserves"? Asking any ex FBOs.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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posted by Karen#1

Why does the cult carry on like this ?

Because ~~ it's Ok to Lie, Cover up, Embellish, Exaggerate, Magnify, lay it on thick, if it IMPROVES THE PR OF THE CHURCH ! Every press release is a blatant lie. I could almost write them myself. "We have "Unprecedented expansion" blah blah blah". They lie to the Courts. "there is no Sea Org", Sea Org has no bank account....LIES LIES LIES. Sea Org Reserves bank account has been there for decades.

Scientology Inc pretends morality while engaging with the ethics of an alleycat.

1582071842994.png

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,
LOL.

COB'S CERTIFIABLE CERTAINTY!
"Scientology is the world's fastest growing religion! We now have
25 million members strong and our Ideal Orgs are booming like never
before. All things are experiencing unprecedented expansion
and thus planetary clearing has now become a reality!"




"Ummm. . .and my gargantuan nose is certainly
not an outpoint, it's a huge win! Like I told you before---
All things are experiencing unprecedented expansion!"


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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Yeah, that's another glaring hole: NOBODY manages to recall his advanced-space-civilization science and engineering schooling, and make $billions on the knowledge.
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Not true!

I had a PC once that clearly recalled a wholetrack incident where she had pulled the air cover off a planet! Later that afternoon (after having evidenced a dial wide floating tone arm at examiner) the PC came to me and stated that she had written down the exact physics formula by which an OT could perform such a miraculous feat. She expressed a sense of guilt because this technology was so powerful and she feared it might fall into the wrong hands--effectively rendering this planet lifeless and thereby sabotaging mankind's only hope!

I asked her: "How do you think you could handle that?"

She really brightened up and said she just realized that she should turn this tech over to the FBI, after which she wrote up her miraculous OT miracle win for Advance! magazine.

Many years later, I ran into that PC and she still looked VVGIs, telling me that she has been on a persistent F/N (and unable to get more auditing) since that day! I asked her whatever became of that FBI report and she said that they eventually sent back a letter indicating they were apparently not interested in the tech of pulling air covers off planets.

I asked her why they rejected it, to which she replied: "I really don't know, I did everything exactly per the tech. I even did a clay demo of how LRH wrote up reports to the FBI in the 1950s and followed his formatting exactly. The FBI stamped my report the same way as Ron's with 'Sounds Mental!'."

We both then laughed about how the FBI needs to get in their Grade III and Grade IV so they are willing to experience change and also get rid of all those make-wrong service facs.

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