TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

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THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH SCIENTOLOGY IS NOT WHAT THEY
TELL YOU---IT'S WHAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU. THAT'S WHY
WE REGULARLY HAVE TO ADD A DESCRIPTIVE LINE OR TWO

Scientology "ministers" handle "downstats" who cannot even afford to buy food. The boxes are filled with rice
and beans, which is what L. Ron Hubbard scientifically discovered is the only food that "non-producers" should
be allowed to eat until they prove they can generate significant cash flow for him personally. Also enclosed in
the boxes are copies of Hubbard's policies which state that anyone who requires charity is a "degraded being"
who should NOT be helped in any ways because doing so "makes them go criminal". Additionally there are
philosophical essays in the box where Ron states emphatically that Scientology's help is only and exclusively
reserved for the "able" and should never ever be given away for free, because doing anything for another without
collecting cash ("Free Service - Free Fall") always leads to the destruction of Ron's churches. Finally, inside
the boxes being handed out to these starving "victims" are Hubbard's furious mandates that anyone who
doesn't generate and give him money should be "treated" with the "rehabilitative technology" that throws
them off the side of ships ("overboards"), imprisons them in chain lockers or incarcerates them in slave labor
crews for years while being prevented from leaving by hardcore guards all around them on duty 24/7
who immediately launch a nationwide stalking crusade if anyone somehow is ever able to escape.


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Here is the proper & appropriate reaction to BEING OFFERED A BOX from the cult of Scientology.

It is perfectly articulated by Brad Pitt's final-scene reaction in the movie "SEVEN".

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VIDEO OF MOVIE SCENE'S HORRIFYING MOMENT

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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This is Maria Delgado Webb. Every kid she has had (5) is involved in scn. Either as an ed in an org or in some other post. This is why it won't go away quickly. These people are in for life. Sad.

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That's the bad news. Yes, it's sad that people are multi-generationally trapped in an utterly worthless fraud.

But, paradoxically, that's also the good news! Scientology is an utterly worthless fraud.

Just imagine if even ONE of Hubbard's promised supernatural powers were real. And they used that power to conquer and "handle" the planet.

Then everyone in this world would truly be f*cked! LOL

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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re-posted from another thread which is discussing
PREDICTIONS for the Scientology world
in the coming year of 2024
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2024 Prediction:

For the 74th year in a row, no Scientologist will go "exterior with full perception" that can be demonstrated to any of the 8.1 billion degraded beings on this slave planet.​

​

Another 2024 Prediction:

Despite not being able to go "exterior with full perception", Scientologists will continue having huge and unprecedented wins of being able to go "exterior with full perception". If asked why OTs cannot demonstrate this exterior state to anyone else, Scientology management will calmly explain that: ​

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"The reason why is because they are only OT on the 1st Dynamic. The ​

moment that anyone else enters the room--that's a 3rd Dynamic situation." ​

​

​

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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inspired by another discussion thread and
THE UNDERGROUND BUNKER
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From Scientology's 2023
CHRISTMAS GIFT GIVING CATALOG

IF SCIENTOLOGY PROMOTION OBEYED
THE "TRUTH IN ADVERTISING" LAWS

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[HelluvaHoax!]

One of the essential paradoxically perplexing lunacies of Scientology is that L. Ron Hubbard and his successor David Miscavige have the power to "declare" people to be "ILLEGAL PCs".

It's a loaded concept.

Original Concept: Hubbard labeled paying customers to be "ILLEGAL PCs" if one of the following was true:

• The preclear posed a risk to Hubbard that they seemed like someone who might SUE him or DEMAND A REFUND because the lavishly expensive tech did not work. [ this is rather odd, is it not, for a 100% workable technology that works on 100% of all beings? ]
• The preclear had a history of mental illness that they tried to handle before they found out about Scientology. More specifically they tried to get help from a psychiatrist and/or might have taken psychotropic medication. [thus, anyone who tried 'self improvement' with a mental health care professional is "illegal". [ Somehow the person should be punished and denied the tech that can cure them (Dianetics/Scientology) because they should have known that only Scientology could help them---even before they ever heard the word Scientology. ]
• The preclear had a family connection that might pose a problem to Hubbard by reason of a lawsuit or whistleblowing to governmental parties/agencies. Ergo, anyone in the preclear's family who "worked for the government" might result in immediate declaration of "ILLEGAL PC" with all auditing actions prohibited. [ thus, you are banned from getting auditing if your sister or father works at the post office or delivers mail. Hey, let's not get reasonable about government employees! ]

Stranger still is the inexplicable fact that Scientology both promotes that it is the "MODERN SCIENCE OF MENTAL HEALTH", yet when someone with any mental unhealth (i.e. mental illness that they sought professional help for) wants to buy auditing, they are rejected because "psychs" are SPs and anyone "connecting" to them is a grave danger to Scientology and it's gurus. The fact that the paying pc abandoned their psychologist in favor of trying Dianetics is not good enough. They "should have known" that psychs are evil and that means that they "flowed power" to psychs, who are the wholetrack enemy of Ron, Dave & Scientology.

It gets even weirder. . .

Not only can the banned preclear not get auditing, Scientology does not want them to get any help for their condition at all. That's why Scientology is spending hundreds of millions of dollars trying to BAN ALL PSYCHS and outlaw the practice of trying to treat mental illness, unless it is Scientology being paid to attempt that.

Take a moment. Just review this again in your mind. . .

People with any mental illness are treated like SPs. They are refused any auditing --- even though Hubbard bragged in tens of thousands of different audiotapes, bulletins and technical releases that "SCIENTOLOGY HAS THE CURE FOR ALL MENTAL ILLNESS". So, they can cure it, but they refuse to cure it. And they use all their money and power trying to make it so that health care professionals are not allowed to treat patients either.

WHAT SCIENTOLOGY WANTS: Mentally ill people to be left untreated and suffering.

That's how a "clear planet" looks. Mentally ill people all over the landscape and it's "illegal" for anyone to try to help them.

SUMMARY: It doesn't have to make sense. It's Scientology.

FREE BONUS SUGGESTION: Scientologists should abandon Scientology policies on "ILLEGAL PCS" and should promptly declare Hubbard and Miscavige to be "ILLEGAL GURUS".



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[HelluvaHoax!]

One of the essential paradoxically perplexing lunacies of Scientology is that L. Ron Hubbard and his successor David Miscavige have the power to "declare" people to be "ILLEGAL PCs".

It's a loaded concept.

Original Concept: Hubbard labeled paying customers to be "ILLEGAL PCs" if one of the following was true:

• The preclear posed a risk to Hubbard that they seemed like someone who might SUE him or DEMAND A REFUND because the lavishly expensive tech did not work. [ this is rather odd, is it not, for a 100% workable technology that works on 100% of all beings? ]
• The preclear had a history of mental illness that they tried to handle before they found out about Scientology. More specifically they tried to get help from a psychiatrist and/or might have taken psychotropic medication. [thus, anyone who tried 'self improvement' with a mental health care professional is "illegal". [ Somehow the person should be punished and denied the tech that can cure them (Dianetics/Scientology) because they should have known that only Scientology could help them---even before they ever heard the word Scientology. ]
• The preclear had a family connection that might pose a problem to Hubbard by reason of a lawsuit or whistleblowing to governmental parties/agencies. Ergo, anyone in the preclear's family who "worked for the government" might result in immediate declaration of "ILLEGAL PC" with all auditing actions prohibited. [ thus, you are banned from getting auditing if your sister or father works at the post office or delivers mail. Hey, let's not get reasonable about government employees! ]

Stranger still is the inexplicable fact that Scientology both promotes that it is the "MODERN SCIENCE OF MENTAL HEALTH", yet when someone with any mental unhealth (i.e. mental illness that they sought professional help for) wants to buy auditing, they are rejected because "psychs" are SPs and anyone "connecting" to them is a grave danger to Scientology and it's gurus. The fact that the paying pc abandoned their psychologist in favor of trying Dianetics is not good enough. They "should have known" that psychs are evil and that means that they "flowed power" to psychs, who are the wholetrack enemy of Ron, Dave & Scientology.

It gets even weirder. . .

Not only can the banned preclear not get auditing, Scientology does not want them to get any help for their condition at all. That's why Scientology is spending hundreds of millions of dollars trying to BAN ALL PSYCHS and outlaw the practice of trying to treat mental illness, unless it is Scientology being paid to attempt that.

Take a moment. Just review this again in your mind. . .

People with any mental illness are treated like SPs. They are refused any auditing --- even though Hubbard bragged in tens of thousands of different audiotapes, bulletins and technical releases that "SCIENTOLOGY HAS THE CURE FOR ALL MENTAL ILLNESS". So, they can cure it, but they refuse to cure it. And they use all their money and power trying to make it so that health care professionals are not allowed to treat patients either.

WHAT SCIENTOLOGY WANTS: Mentally ill people to be left untreated and suffering.

That's how a "clear planet" looks. Mentally ill people all over the landscape and it's "illegal" for anyone to try to help them.

SUMMARY: It doesn't have to make sense. It's Scientology.

FREE BONUS SUGGESTION: Scientologists should abandon Scientology policies on "ILLEGAL PCS" and should promptly declare Hubbard and Miscavige to be "ILLEGAL GURUS".



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Thinking about how the masters of mental health refuse to treat the mentally ill---well, that made me remember another bizarro peek into Hubbard's demented mind.

I was reminded of an LRH audiotaped lecture where he bragged that he had discovered the curative tech that could make a SUPPRESSIVE CRIMINAL sane and civilized. That sounded like he was on to something huge. It was already well established that none of his CLEARING or OT technology was working, right? Nobody in this world ever attained any of the supernatural powers they were guaranteed from the early 1950s. But, if Hubbard could really cure criminality and psychosis, now that would be a mindblowing contribution to the planet, even if none of the other tech worked--wouldn't it?

So, i listened very carefully to that tape and marveled at what certainly sounded like perhaps the greatest discovery in human history. The elimination of criminality. No more stealing, no more burglaries, no more carjackings, no more muggings, no more assaults, no more rapes, no more shootings, no more knivings, no more sadism, no more murders and no more wars!

But then Hubbard said something far more revealing than he meant to. With a grin he tossed off the comment that, who knows-- he MIGHT decide to release that technology one day. For context one needs to understand that the "SP CRIMINALS" that debunked Scientology and came forth with devastating whistleblowing (amongst other unforgivable crimes) were Hubbard's bitter enemies and as such he sought vengeance against them in many ways. Payback. Retribution. Thus, he took delight in saying that he wanted to continue to torture them by leaving them trapped inside their own insanity.

Hubbard was not one to forgive. Well, don't take my word for it, let's hear his own words directly:

"I never forget until the slate is clear"

(well, that's a win. he couldn't clear the planet but at least he was able to clear something!)

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Final comment on the above mini-essays about Scientology refusing to treat the mentally ill and refusing to allow anyone else to treat them.

I have realized this before but it hit home today with a much bigger bang. I am talking about WHY Hubbard and Scientology would refuse to treat the mentally ill when they simultaneously assert with blinkless certainty that their tech cures the mentally ill.

THE REASON IS SIMPLE. IT'S BECAUSE HUBBARD KNEW THAT
SCIENTOLOGY'S MENTAL HEALTH TECHNOLOGY DOES NOT WORK.
​

It's the same precise reason Hubbard never again tried to hold a huge public event where he had one of his "CLEARS" demonstrate their supernatural memory and other magical powers. Anyone doubting this should remind themselves of the unqualified disaster that happened when Hubbard invited 6000 people to the Shrine Auditorium in 1950 to proudly demonstrate "the world's first Clear" in the person of Sonya Bianchi. That was the first and last time Hubbard thought he was capable of deceiving and conning educated people with his pseudo-scientific jargon and misdirection. SEE FULL STORY HERE

Thus, of course Hubbard never wanted to treat the mentally ill. Because they were OBSERVABLY impacted by their mental illness. Thus after treatment observers could immediately SEE WITH THEIR OWN EYES if the mentally ill person was cured. It's physically observable or quickly detectable simply by asking the person a few questions. They can speak and think lucidly. They are not delusional. They are not curled up in the fetal position. They are not screaming like a madman, fighting, destroying thing, harming themselves, et al. They can hold a conversation without bizarre ideations and responses.

Compare that to how Scientology "PROVES" that it works. They use success stories where someone wrote down that they felt something positive at the moment they wrote the testimonial. Or they felt hopeful or "positive" that they would "never again" experience the ruin, illness, incapacity, fear, neurosis, negative emotional reaction and so forth. To wit, the person "IDENTIFIED" as something better than what they previously experienced. It's all in the FEELINGS and that is well known to be wildly unreliable in terms of testing whether a technology works.

CAR DRIVER
I see that the bridge has been out ahead
for a few weeks. Is it safe to drive over it now?

SCIENTOLOGIST ROAD CREW FOREMAN
Well, um, I feel it should be safe.

CAR DRIVER
What do you mean you feel it's safe.
What has it got to do with feelings?

SCIENTOLOGIST ROAD CREW FOREMAN
Well that's what is real to me. I had a win on
postulating that the bridge is safe now, so
stop invalidating & attacking me!


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[HelluvaHoax!]

THE TWO SENIOR GURUS OF SCIENTOLOGY ARE
SUPER-FOCUSED ON CLEANING THIS PLACE UP!

WHAT AN EVENT!
TWO GURUS! TWO QUOTES!

"Look at it this way--If a Scientologist is a street sweeper,
it is his responsibility to apply Scientology to his zone and
to whomever he may interact with and know it's not an option.
Not if he's a real Scientologist--and when his head hits the
pillow each night he better know he did all he could!"
—David Miscavige


"So what do you say? We gonna clean this place up?!
—Tom Cruise


AFTER HEARING THOSE INSPIRING QUOTES, HERE
IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS AROUND THE WORLD
WERE THINKING INSIDE THEIR ANALYTICAL MINDS

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[Operating DB]

I'd rather be a street sweeper than a scientologist. I'd actually get case gain.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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I'd rather be a street sweeper than a scientologist. I'd actually get case gain.

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LOL

Yes, that post (Director of Street Sweeping) would produce substantial case gain!

As well as financial gain. A 40 hour work week @minimum wage ($15.00 per hour) would generate $600 per week or $31,200 per year. This compares very favorably to staff wages of $50 per week. Over a twenty year period that's $624,000. In order for a staff member to earn that sum, they would have to work twice as many hours daily for 240 years.

However, for any of that to occur you would first have to:

1. Successfully complete the HSDCPC. (Hubbard Standard Dust Clearing Professional Course).​

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2. Successfully intern at Flag for at least 2 years and pass 30 consecutive white glove inspections without a glitch. ​

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3. Establish & maintain an upward trending graph of your VFP (i.e. Number of dust motes standardly removed & routed) ​

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4. Get a video pass on standardly applying Ron's sweeping technology from RDC (Religious Dusting Center). ​

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5. Be given Ethics Clearance to be posted as a Street Sweeper on a 3 square block area around any Ideal Org. The Ethics review would have to verify that your ethics folder was not "FAT" and containing KRs about you making excuses for flunking the white glove inspections by attempting to justify your over products with lame DB excuses like: "Hey, I swept that 3 block area perfectly, but before the Dust Inspector General showed up to do the inspection 2 days later, there was a tornado that blew dust back on those streets!" ​

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[SuperstarNeilC]

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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This is starting to make a lot of sense to me.

Average amount of time Scientologist invests to get one
of those precious "ELITE TITAN OF FREEDOM" certificates:
15-20 years

Average amount of money Scientologist invests to reach an upper training & OT level:
$650,000

After all that they receive a piece of paper with a meaningless yet statusy-sounding
adjective-noun combo ("elite titan"). But wait! That's not all they get! They also
receive the excited applause & admiration of others who were similarly defrauded. ​

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[KKS]

Scientologists distribute irradiated water in Haiti, destroy radiation shield.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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SCIENTOLOGY IS DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF SCIENTOLOGY OBEYED
"TRUTH IN ADVERTISING" LAWS

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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I don't know if I'm ready for the advanced upper level material yet.

A Sea Org member recently told me I should write up my o/w so i can have a clean mind. Im still stuck on that lol.

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Even though you are temporarily stuck, don't give up!

Once you get thru the O/W writeup, you will zoom right up to the best part of Ron's Bridge---where you use soup cans to hunt and banish invisible aliens!

FASCINATING MYSTERY SOLVED! I have always wondered why Dr. Hubbard chose the Earth to release all of his cosmic technology. I just realized that of all the planets in this universe—Earth must have been the only one that has soup.

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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"Scientology is the only game in the universe
where everyone wins!" —L.Ron Hubbard

"Clearing the planet is the only game in the universe
where everyone loses (money, time & faith in mankind)."
—Don Hubbard




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[HelluvaHoax!]

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SCIENTOLOGY KOAN #1
What is the tone level of trying to get your stats
up this week when you cleared 1 person the
previous week—who wasn't actually Clear?

SCIENTOLOGY KOAN #2
What is the reward if you are somehow miraculously
able to "clear the planet"? (the answer is--an ethics cycle
to handle why you have not yet taken total responsibility
for "salvaging this sector" of the universe)

COS:Church of Sisyphus


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Like I keep saying, a large chunk of the people at Flag would have failed at actually running a Burger King.

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Of course they would have failed!

Because when a Burger King customer came in and ordered a burger "THEIR WAY", they would have been routed to ethics, sec checked and assigned Treason---for squirreling and not having their burger RON'S WAY.


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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SCIENTOLOGY KOAN #2
What is the reward if you are somehow miraculously
able to "clear the planet"? (the answer is--an ethics cycle
to handle why you have not yet taken total responsibility
for "salvaging this sector" of the universe)

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Yeah, okay--let's play. . .

ALEX TREBEK
Okay, you've chosen the category of "CULT PAY BONUSES"
for $1M dollars and the win! The answer is--
THE REWARD FOR A SCIENTOLOGIST WHO BOTH
"CLEARS THE PLANET" AND "SALVAGES THIS SECTOR"
Be sure to state it as a question. . .

CONTESTANT
What is a Non-Enturbulation Order, for committing
the high crime of an overt of omission by salvaging
this sector of the universe, but criminally neglecting
to salvage the remaining 76 quadrillion square
light years of the rest of the universe?


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