TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[Enthetan]

I thought of that as I was writing that post. I recall Hubbard bragging about how he could audit people wherever he encountered them, on a train for example. Or the famous "coffee shop auditing".

He did miracles, that Ron!

Didn't it later become a "HIGH CRIME" and "SUPPRESSIVE ACT" to do "coffee shop auditing"? That's because it was a break in the Auditors Code to audit a PC that was "not sessionable" due to lack of sleep/food a paid invoice in their PC folder.

.

A lot of people feel better after talking about their problems with someone willing to listen attentively, whether that person is their priest, their bartender, friend, or their auditor.

Much of the "success" of auditing came from this, I guess.

 

[ILove2Lurk]

Nominated for one of the Stupidest Moments In Scientology is. . . <snip>

They believe this is OT technology. Well, it IS OT technology, fully developed and managed by the top OTs in the universe.

Now, two things are coming to mind reading all this.

One is that you've always liked to write longer posts, no matter what the topic. Which is a good thing
and appreciated by all.

Two is that the "they" you keep referring to throughout the post -- as well as many other posts -- was
actually all of "us" a long time ago. That said, there's one thing that I've been unable to resolve to my
complete satisfaction. Even to this day.

And that is, how did we get drawn into this in the first place decades ago? How and why did we stay
around so long, despite all the warning signs and and cognitive dissonances along the way? I'm still
pretty befuddled about many aspects of my prior life. Ron called this the "bullpen" or the place where
unanswered and uncleared questions about life are stored. A good description actually. (Term
"borrowed" from computer science of the day.)

"They get the datum in the bullpen over here and it won’t clear. It won’t clear. ​

It’s just stuck, right there. It’s not going to go anyplace." ​

PDC 2​

Now today, in my older years, I think I'm pretty smart and bright and can see the world with a clarity.
"Smarter than the average bear," if you will. But when I was young . . . what happened?

I've sorta given up trying to resolve this mystery of life, concluding that when most people are young
they're "dumb as stumps," to put it in a southern vernacular. One only gets a wisdom, if lucky, after
a few decades of embarrassing misjudgements and dumb mistakes. That's just how life works out and
it can't be changed too much. Deal with it.

Anyways, HH, I know you've written about this conundrum on the old message board. Maybe it's time
to revisit the topic and bring up your current revelations and mindset.

How did we get suckered so badly?

Enquiring minds just might want to know, LOL.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

It's a fascinating conversation WHY SCIENTOLOGY DOESN'T JUST SHOW PEOPLE THAT AUDITING WORKS BY AUDITING THEM.

This brings us to yet another monumentally stupid aspect of Scientology.

WHY DON'T SCIENTOLOGY LEADERS DO LIVE INTERVIEWS
WHERE THEY CAN USE THEIR ARC TECH, THEIR TONE
SCALE TECH AND THEIR COMMUNICATION TECH--
TO MAKE PEOPLE WANT SCIENTOLOGY?
​

This might be why. . . .

DAVID MISCAVIGE
...and so that concludes today's briefing on]
how Scientology tech can bring miracles into
your life today so that you can be, do and have
everything you ever dreamed of. In fact you
can more more than your wildest dreams.
(APPLAUSE)
Thank you! As promised, I will now take any questions
about our amazing technology that solves all of mankind's problems.
Yes, you in the back, you have a question?


JOURNALIST #1
Yes, i was in one of your bookstores this morning and
I read a process where Dr. Hubbard stated that with a simple
7-word auditing command. a full 50% of the world's population
could easily move out of their physical bodies into a state
he called "fully exterior". If that is the case, would you be
willing to demonstrate that command "Be 3 Feet Back
of Your Head" right now on the 48 journalists here?

MISCAVIGE
Well, yes, of course I am more than happy to demonstrate it, but
we need to run that process individually on just one person. We
don't run it on a crowd. Be sure to come in the org so we
can show you how it works. Next question.....

JOURNALIST
Wait! Wait! In face i went into one of your orgs last week and
asked them if they could show me that process so I
could go exterior. But they said they don't run
that process in Scientology. Can you
explain why such a miraculous
process is not used?

MISCAVIGE
Of course, there is a very simple reason we don't run
that process on new Scientologists until we are sure
they are ready. We call this the "gradient approach",
we don't just let you fly out of your body until
you are a little bit further up the line, let's take
another question from someone else. . .

JOURNALIST #1
Wait! You are the spiritual leader of Scientology and
have been getting auditing for 40 years, can
you just show us how easily you can exteriorize?

MISCAVIGE
We've already answered your questions, let's
give someone else a chance. Yes you in the front.

JOURNALIST #2
I heard an audio lecture by Dr. Hubbard where he stated
that cancer could be cured with just a few short
touch assists. This is so amazing, it blew my mind!
I have sitting next to me today the Director of the American
Oncological Society who is offering you access to 473 different
cancer clinics where can pick any site you wish and
within that facility, you can pick any cancer patient
you wish... are you willing to show the world
how you save lives with your cancer cure?

MISCAVIGE
That is a very non-standard question.
Anyone else with a question?

JOURNALIST #2
Hold on!!! You didn't answer. What do you mean
it's a "non-standard" question? Why can't you answer it?

MISCAVIGE
We follow very strict professional guidelines and therefore
we don't audit terminally or seriously ill people.

JOURNALIST #2
But your scripture categorically states and guarantees
that anyone with cancer can be easily cured. Why
would you let people die if you can save them?

MISCAVIGE
Well, isn't the answer obvious? In 1983 I personally received
a touch assist. And today as I stand here before you, I
and totally cancer free.

JOURNALIST #2
Are you claiming that you actually had cancer? Can you
provide proof of that? How do we know you had cancer?

MISCAVIGE
Like I said, do i look like I have cancer to you? Hey, I
want to thank everyone so much for your great questions.
And I have a very special surprise for you journalists, we
are going to give you a FREE auditing session today, so
you don't have to take our word for it---you can
experience your very own miracle. So enjoy
the free champagne and after that
we'll interview you each to make
make sure you are sessionalble
so we can give you that
free miracle auditing
session today!

.
s​

 

[Churchill]

Thank you for noting that too often overlooked elephant... that “they” was “us.”
It’s a really useful reminder, particularly at those times when sanctimony overtakes humility.

There are intoxicating, Utopian promises that abound in Scientology.
It’s the cheese used to bait the trap.
But the open-ended suspension of belief required to sustain the utopian illusion always and eventually collapses under the crushing weight of deception and prevarication.

 

[ILove2Lurk]

JOURNALIST #1
Wait! You are the spiritual leader of Scientology and
have been getting auditing for 40 years, can
you just show us how easily you can exteriorize?

I remember meeting OT8 George Seidler (RIP) many decades ago, early on in my dabbling
with Scientology. Long story short, we were standing in an entryway of an org and I had
asked him just that. He pointed to the upper corner of the lobby behind me and told me
he was actually up in that corner at that moment, while standing there talking to me face
to face.

I was impressed. I wanted to believe real bad, I guess. I didn't question it enough.

Spoiler: George's bona fides

George Seidler's Dianetics auditor certificate was signed
by Hubbard himself in 1950; he attended many of the Congresses and ACCs
in the 50's; Class VIII; has done the OT 7/8 line up two or three times through
to attest . . . one of most processed and trained people ever on the planet.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Now, two things are coming to mind reading all this.

One is that you've always liked to write longer posts, no matter what the topic. Which is a good thing.
So appreciated by all.

Two is that the "they" you keep referring to throughout the post -- as well as many other posts -- was
actually all of "us" a long time ago. That said, there's one thing that I've been unable to resolve to my
complete satisfaction. Even to this day.

And that is, how did we get drawn into this in the first place decades ago? How and why did we stay
around so long, despite all the warning signs and and cognitive dissonances along the way? I'm still
pretty befuddled about many aspects of my prior life. Ron call this the "bullpen" or the place where
unanswered and uncleared questions about life are stored. A good description actually.

"They get the datum in the bullpen over here and it won’t clear. It won’t clear. ​

It’s just stuck, right there. It’s not going to go anyplace." ​

PDC 2​

Now today, in my older years, I think I'm pretty smart and bright and can see the world with a clarity.
"Smarter than the average bear," if you will. But when I was young . . . what happened?

I've sorta given up trying to resolve this mystery of life, concluding that when most people are young
they're "dumb as stumps," to put it in a southern vernacular. One only gets a wisdom, if lucky, after
a few decades of embarrassing misjudgements and dumb mistakes. That's just how life works out and
it can't be changed too much. Deal with it.

Anyways, HH, I know you've written about this conundrum on the old message board. Maybe it's time
to revisit the topic and bring up your current revelations and mindset on the topic.

How did we get suckered so badly?

Enquiring minds just might want to know, LOL.

.

I
When I post, I have no idea whatsoever what I am talking about or where it will end up. It's a "live experiment" so to speak, lol. Somehow there is a creative process that can be used to cheat in order to get some kind of answer. It seems to work better than a lucky 8 ball. So here goes, I'll just start typing and see what happens . .

I'd frame the question you brought to view as:

WHY DO HUMANS GET FOOLED BY OTHER HUMANS?

It's a lovely and fascinating question to think about.

The answer might be too advanced to understand.

Or, in the alternative, the answer might be too obvious to see.

So, i wonder where that takes us.

Okay, here is thought #1.

The simple answer is that humans get fooled
because other humans TRICK them.
​

OKay, so how do they TRICK Them?

By a very effective gimmick called LIES.
​

Interesting, same two (2) words Hubbard used in his "Fair Game Policy". Funny how that worked out!

But why do humans believe lies?

Because they are stupid, right?
​

No. Well, not always. . .

It's not that they are necessarily stupid. They may in fact be quite brilliant and still get tricked/fooled by a lie. To wit, all of the best and brightest minds on Wall Street, all those financial geniuses--easily got tricked by Bernie Madoff.

Open up the newpaper or virtually ANY website reporting news across the internet--and it's all about how one human lied to and tricked another.

It's as old as war.

In fact, no matter what weapon of war was developed (as the undefeatable ultimate weapon that will end all warfare forever) there is always a counter-weapon or counter-strategy that will nullify or defeat it. Think arrows being replaced by bullets. Bullets were defeated by armored tanks. That worked for a while. Until there were airplanes and bombs.

No matter what one human invents as a solution, there is another human quite capable (and willing) to defeat it with a counter-measure. Think 70,000 pound vault doors--and thieves still figure out how to open it anyways.

Within the realm of LIES there are an infinite number of possibilities.

Cults are cults because they SPECIALIZE in newer-better, stealth lies that can't be picked up on conventional radar.

When I was a teenie and read DMSMH, I was easily tricked by the lie that it was written by a doctor and nuclear physicist. I did not know at that tender age that adults were allowed to lie and publish scientific sounding books with all those lies. Easy mark.

I now ask myself this question.

WHEN & WHERE DO PEOPLE EVER GET EDUCATED
AND TRAINED HOW TO DETECT LIES/TRICKS?​

ANSWER: Um....Never.

They learn it on their own by trial and error. This is likely the main reason that con artists and other highly skilled liars are easily able to trick humans.

Now, about that question. Is the mark stupid? Not necessarily. If they are brilliant it only means that they were defeated by slightly more brilliant counter measures.

Think of Scientology simply as 3 card monte. What chance does a mark have, even if they really are a doctor and a nuclear physicist. lol

.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

I remember meeting OT8 George Seidler (RIP) many decades ago, early on in my dabbling
with Scientology. Long story short, we were standing in an entryway of an org and I had
asked him just that. He pointed to the upper corner of the lobby behind me and told me
he was actually up in that corner at that moment, while standing there talking to me face
to face.

I have to admit, that is a phenomenal super-human feat, especially when considering he performed it in a lobby without any assistance.

Normally it requires spiritual "aids", as well as a Hendrix poster & black light.

.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

FREE BONUS SECTION
"How do Scientologists get fooled so easily?"​

Let's take it into another realm, where there can be crystal clarity how it works. FIGHTING.

Let's get the UNDISPUTED WORLD CHAMPION BOXER with a phenomenal winning record--a masterful boxing virtuoso, who has never been knocked out!

And let's get him to fight a 47 years old guy that has never had even one (1) boxing match.

Who wins?

The boxing Champion (James Toney) obviously is going to win against an old dude with NO boxing matches, right?

How the hell did he do that?!!?
​

This is the answer to why an intelligent or even brilliant person can get knocked out or choked out by Scientology.

ANSWER: The old guy figured out a way to defeat a boxer. Simply pull them to the ground, where they have no power. Then, simply choke them out in a minute.

This is what Scientology does.

It will not fight you on even ground. It wants to exploit your weakness. It wants to pull you "to the ground" where you have no fighting skills. This is where you are powerless.

That's why in the very first round of the fight, Scientology takes you to the ground. They call it "FINDING YOUR RUIN".

It puts you in a severely weakened position where you yourself confessed you are "effect".

That's how you got choked into unconsciousness---the very first day, in the very first reg session.
Scientologists call that "ANATEN" and they don't want to erase it because their income depends on it.

.

 

[ILove2Lurk]

That's why Scientology in the very first round of the fight takes you to the ground. They call it "FINDING YOUR RUIN".

 

[Xenu Xenu Xenu]

I seem to remember reading that con artists appeal to a person's greed. When greed doesn't work, they appeal to a person's fear.

The dream of being almost perfect, powerful, and full of super powers appealed to me. I find that very similar to greed. I was also affected by the countless stories about how the world, (and of course, myself), was going to end unless I and others went Clear and OT. I was deathly afraid of that.

Yeah, that seems to fit. Scientology was never about helping people other than Hubbard and later, Miscavige. And yes, I know that Hubbard later on started to believe his own bullshit but at the same time he continued to be a greedy selfish asshole even up to his death. He never really gave a shit about his followers or anyone else for that matter.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

.

- Ironically & Paradoxically -
Although a brand new Scientologist doesn't realize it at the time--
far worse than their RUIN is telling Scientology their RUIN.

.​

 

[ILove2Lurk]

That's why in the very first round of the fight, Scientology takes you to the ground.

In MMA, followed by a blistering ground and pound: striking
the opponent repeatedly with fists, elbows, knees, and hammer
fists until he can't defend himself and the match is called.

In Scientology, a blistering ground and pound is done with:
ethics, conditions, sec checks, comm evs, strict adherence to
policy, contracts, waivers, group discipline, excommunication,
group shunning, IAS donos, loans, closed door regging, etc.,
until he can't defend himself and the match is called or the
person taps out.

 

[Lee #28]

I remember meeting OT8 George Seidler (RIP) many decades ago, early on in my dabbling
with Scientology. Long story short, we were standing in an entryway of an org and I had
asked him just that. He pointed to the upper corner of the lobby behind me and told me
he was actually up in that corner at that moment, while standing there talking to me face
to face.

I was impressed. I wanted to believe real bad, I guess. I didn't question it enough.

Spoiler: George's bona fides

George Seidler's Dianetics auditor certificate was signed
by Hubbard himself in 1950; he attended many of the Congresses and ACCs
in the 50's; Class VIII; has done the OT 7/8 line up two or three times through
to attest . . . one of most processed and trained people ever on the planet.

That kinda reminds me of the time I was doing my Purif at Ty Dillard's 16th St. Mission in Washington DC.

There was a guy in the sauna....at the same time that I learned was OT3.

I had been bitching (suffering) with the heat...and stultifing boredom of sitting in the sauna for so long....and he was also.

I said to him, but for you, it must be easy....you can just leave your body.....

He did not reply to my observation.....

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

In Scientology, a blistering ground and pound is done with:
ethics, conditions, sec checks, comm evs, strict adherence to
policy, contracts, waivers, group discipline, excommunication,
group shunning, IAS donos, loans, closed door regging, etc.,
until he can't defend himself and the match is called or the
person taps out.

Great articulation of what happens. One slight edit:

​

". . . . until he can't defend himself and the match is called or the​

person taps is tapped out."​

​

​

Definition of tapped out:
1: out of money : BROKE

.

.

 

[Karen#1]

.

Oh no!

How did the "TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY" anthology ever miss this classic compilation of creepy, cringey, credulously culty curiosities?

I found Karen's delightfully entertaining & illuminating video whilst searching for some info on the "DUKE OF CHUG", one of Hubbard's incredibly stupid sci-fi stories---that magically morphed into "scientific" and "sacred scripture".

Naturally, the "DUKE OF CHUG" tale took place countless trillions of years ago, making it slightly difficult to corroborate. I tried to verify Hubbard's discovery, but the "degraded" libraries on this planet do not archive books from that important time period. However, we are very fortunate that Dr. Hubbard had perfect "whole-track" recall, so we can take his word for it.

Don't worry if Dr. Hubbard's "modern science" sounds delusional---Karen will help explain it all. . .

.​

In this video the "chug" advices (CONFIDENTIAL) are explained.
As HH says many many billions of years ago, an entire galaxy was being *RUN* by a small crew with a computer.
The people were upset and getting more upset because their income TAX was rising !
The Brilliant Computer with all its Wisdom found out that the DUKE of CHUG was the HIDDEN *WHO*
THe computer ordered a death sentence.
The Duke of Chug was summarily executed.

Hubbard then *realized* a COMPUTER could run all of Scientology and be more trustworthy than humans....
See the video for more..

 

[UTR]

This is how things apparently happened in the early days. Orgs would train people to be field auditors and send them home. Field auditors would audit their friends, relatives, and acquaintances. The ones who got people feeling better would send them to the org after a while. The ones who couldn't get any result would drop out.

I'm also pretty sure the Class V course's final section requires the student to go out and get a brand new person, and do some form of Dianetics on them. Unless GAT II removed that requirement.

 

[Enthetan]

I'm also pretty sure the Class V course's final section requires the student to go out and get a brand new person, and do some form of Dianetics on them. Unless GAT II removed that requirement.

That was my recollection as well.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I'm also pretty sure the Class V course's final section requires the student to go out and get a brand new person, and do some form of Dianetics on them.
.

If I recall correctly the old DIANETICS COURSE also required the student auditor to find a WOG and give them some auditing to a big win. After I successfully graduated as a DIANETIC AUDITOR, I continued my training for another decade and did many levels, Briefing Course and also became a Case Supervisor. I was one of the elite auditors!

Then one day I was ordered off post and they Com Ev'd me, finding me guilty of the SUPPRESSIVE ACT and HIGH CRIME of falsely attesting to my auditor/CS training levels. It seems that WOG I audited a couple decades earlier went on to become an OT VIII. During a solo OT VIII session they discovered that they had been a Scientologist in a past live and received auditing from Ron!

So, when I attested that I audited a WOG they were not in fact a WOG at all--but a PC who went Clear while Ron was auditing them in 1950!

I was sent to ethics and assigned TREASON for betraying Ron's trust and sabotaging the Bridge to Total Freedom for all beings on this planet. It took me a weeks to write up all my wholetrack overts and even longer to work up the conditions to Liability.

For my amends project to make up all the damage I had done, I met with the Ethics Officer to make sure I did it standardly.

ETHICS OFFICER
Congratulations and very well done on handling all your lower
conditions up to Liability. I am happy to work with you to help
expedite this and get you back on post auditing other beings
as soon as possible so we can clear this planet!

HH
Wow, that's like totally my intention too! What kind of
amends project would you suggest?

ETHICS OFFICER
Well we don't want you to get stuck in some long cycle, we want
to get you back in the chair right away so you can keep auditing,
and you can do that as soon as you get your certs back.

HH
Oh, you mean my certs are suspended until
I finish the amends project?

ETHICS OFFICER
Well actually your certs aren't suspended, they are canceled--
but only until you finish your amends. All you need to do is pay for all
the courses again and re-do all the courses. But the good news is you
can probably do it in less than 12 years this time, since you
already did all those courses before.​

.

 

[Karen#1]

If I recall correctly the old DIANETICS COURSE also required the student auditor to find a WOG and give them some auditing to a big win. After I successfully graduated as a DIANETIC AUDITOR, I continued my training for another decade and did many levels, Briefing Course and also became a Case Supervisor. I was one of the elite auditors!

Then one day I was ordered off post and they Com Ev'd me, finding me guilty of the SUPPRESSIVE ACT and HIGH CRIME of falsely attesting to my auditor/CS training levels. It seems that WOG I audited a couple decades earlier went on to become an OT VIII. During a solo OT VIII session they discovered that they had been a Scientologist in a past live and received auditing from Ron!

So, when I attested that I audited a WOG they were not in fact a WOG at all--but a PC who went Clear while Ron was auditing them in 1950!

I was sent to ethics and assigned TREASON for betraying Ron's trust and sabotaging the Bridge to Total Freedom for all beings on this planet. It took me a weeks to write up all my wholetrack overts and even longer to work up the conditions to Liability.

For my amends project to make up all the damage I had done, I met with the Ethics Officer to make sure I did it standardly.

ETHICS OFFICER
Congratulations and very well done on handling all your lower
conditions up to Liability. I am happy to work with you to help
expedite this and get you back on post auditing other beings
as soon as possible so we can clear this planet!

HH
Wow, that's like totally my intention too! What kind of
amends project would you suggest?

ETHICS OFFICER
Well we don't want you to get stuck in some long cycle, we want
to get you back in the chair right away so you can keep auditing,
and you can do that as soon as you get your certs back.

HH
Oh, you mean my certs are suspended until
I finish the amends project?

ETHICS OFFICER
Well actually your certs aren't suspended, they are canceled--
but only until you finish your amends. All you need to do is pay for all
the courses again and re-do the course. But the good news is you
can probably do it in less than 12 years this time, since you
already did all those courses before.​

.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

SCIENTOLOGY HAS AN INFINITY
OF STUNNINGLY STUPID SLOGANS
- - -

Scientology Slogan #117
Scientology Makes the Able More Able

Translation
Scientology Makes the Able More Able...
to imagine that they are more able.

Demonstration



.



​