TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

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[REF: Mystery being in wall photo was "punched out", LOL]

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freethinker said:
My guess is Tommy. It would fit.
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Ooops, in this particular instance the punching bag was not Tommy.

The "effective blow to the enemy" was to Katie Holmes. . .

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She had to be punched out because all 3 of Tom Cruise's 2Ds ended up being SPs!
Same for Miscavige's 2D--another SP! Same for Hubbard's 2Ds--all 3 were SPs!
The tech doesn't work on SPs. This explains why Scientology's 3 most
powerful OTs could not use the tone scale to spot SP wives who were
at covert hostility (1.10) on the tone scale. Because theta beings like
Ron, Dave & Tom "make mistakes in the presence of suppression"
they mistakenly thought thought their psychotic wives
were actually at 110 on the tone scale.
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HelluvaHoax! said:
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[REF: Mystery being in wall photo was "punched out", LOL]

View attachment 1293


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Ooops, in this particular instance the punching bag was not Tommy.

The "effective blow to the enemy" was to Katie Holmes. . .

View attachment 1288

She had to be punched out because all 3 of Tom Cruise's 2Ds ended up being SPs!
Same for Miscavige's 2D--another SP! Same for Hubbard's 2Ds--all 3 were SPs!
The tech doesn't work on SPs. This explains why Scientology's 3 most
powerful OTs could not use the tone scale to spot SP wives who were
at covert hostility (1.10) on the tone scale. Because theta beings like
Ron, Dave & Tom "make mistakes in the presence of suppression"
they mistakenly thought thought their psychotic wives
were actually at 110 on the tone scale.
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:laugh:
Making Your OT Postulates Stick = Fail.
OT on All Dynamics = Fail.
At Cause Over Life = Fail.
Ability to Communicate Easily to Any Person on Any Subject = Grade Zero Fail!

Hell, Dave and Tom even failed at making it go right!
:laugh:
 
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REFERENCE: The Hubbard Law of Commotion ("In Scientology, for each and every policy, there is an equal and opposite policy")

KEEPING CULTS WORKING: All Scientologists "religiously" study and obey (to the letter) every inviolable policy--because it is holy scripture that must be complied with 100% of the time. No exceptions. Refusal to obey is met with swift and wicked punishment.

POLICY PARADOX: Each cult policy, if not followed, will result in sabotaging mankind and the planet, and lead directly to endless suffering in the MEST trap and the loss of one's eternity. However, because every policy has a 2nd corresponding "equal and opposite" policy, Scientologists not only have to obey policies 100% of the time, but in fact 200% of the time! Yes, that's how vital each policy is!

COS (Church of Schizophrenia) DUALITY & DISSONANCE DU JOUR: The HCO Policy "Leaving & Leaves, which unequivocally provides that any Scientologist or staff member who wants to leave the organization must promptly and courteously be allowed to, no questions asked, by stating:

"There is no intention of holding on to people
who do not want to be where they are."
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HOW THE POLICY IS APPLIED: When anyone says they do not want to be where they are (i.e. wants to leave their org or Scientology itself) they are promptly and courteously stalked, hunted down, kidnapped and psychologically terrorized until they realize they really wanted to stay. This is the "equal and opposite policy" called:

"The Blow Drill"
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The "Blow Drill" consists of deploying large numbers of cult staff to spread out and stalk the "criminal" party who has committed the "suppressive act" of leaving. Cult stalkers stake out train/bus stations and the airports, to capture the SP when they show up. Other cult "ministers" fly to the homes of the blown "psychotics" family, parents or friends, in case they try to show up an hide there. The saboteur's charge card statements and phone bills are studied under a magnifying glass to determine where they are located. Likewise, travel agency data sources are hacked to discover any plane reservations---so that the cult's operatives can fly there first and confront/capture the "DB" (degraded blower) as they get off their airplane. Whilst performing the sacred scriptural sacrament called "The Blow Drill", the SWAT team members are expected to make it go right to compel the escapee to return by force and/or by lying and tricking them into voluntarily returning (under guard). SWAT = Scientology Weapons And Technology.


WHAT DO SCIENTOLOGISTS THINK ABOUT THESE 2 WILDLY CONFLICTING POLICIES? They don't think about it. That's what makes them a Scientologist. It's off-policy to think because it interferes with their floating needles.

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guanoloco said:
Now picture Hu666ard in a Blue bird motorhome...on the lam and all fabian.
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LOL. Sure, I can picture that, let's all sing along. . . .​
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LRH In Disguise With Diamonds

Picture Hisself in a van down by the river
WIth tagalong OTs and a momaluke disguise
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A reg with Kalashnikov eyes.

Cell-o-phone big league closers of dollars so green
Glowering over your head
Look for the Founder with the pie in the skies
And he's gone!

LRH in disguise with diamonds
LRH incognito with diamonds
LRH on the run with diamonds

Follow him down to his Bridge by 4751 Fountain (Ave.)
Where rock-slamming pcs eat mumbo-jumbo lies
Everyone smiles as you attain superpowers
Your status soars so incredibly high

Newspaper attackers appear on the shore (story)
Feds waiting to take Elron away
Climb in the Bluebird with your Commodore in the back
And He's gone!

Elron in disguise with diamonds
Maitreya the betraya on the lam with diamonds
"Bank" robber on the run with dye-packs


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PC PILLAGING PARADOX:

Final notes on Hubbard taking on disguises, hiding in a bluebird motorhome with hundreds of millions of dollars (cash, diamonds, et al) that he defrauded his credulous culties out of.

Yes, he was a "bank" robber who stole all that money. Hubbard created his own "bank" (see DMSMH) and then convinced people all over the world to open accounts and transfer all their money into it. He promised that their funds on account would return huge "gains".

Hubbard very successfully avoided the "dye packs" that normally explode after the robber goes on the run with all that loot.

He did not, however, avoid the "die pack" that exploded on him just prior to leaving to do advanced research at Target II.

Alas, Hubbard was never able to spend that half-billion dollars. Another "bank" robber (Miscavige) jacked that half billion for himself.

If history is any guide, Miscavige will not fare any better when he leaves after shedding his impediment (the COS). lol

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HelluvaHoax! said:
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LOL. Sure, I can picture that, let's all sing along. . . .​
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​

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LRH In Disguise With Diamonds

Picture Hisself in a van down by the river
WIth tagalong OTs and a momaluke disguise
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A reg with Kalashnikov eyes.

Cell-o-phone big league closers of dollars so green
Glowering over your head
Look for the Founder with the pie in the skies
And he's gone!

LRH in disguise with diamonds
LRH incognito with diamonds
LRH on the run with diamonds

Follow him down to his Bridge by 4751 Fountain (Ave.)
Where rock-slamming pcs eat mumbo-jumbo lies
Everyone smiles as you attain your superpowers
Your status soars so incredibly high

Newspaper attackers appear on the shore (story)
Feds waiting to take Elron away
Climb in the Bluebird with your Commodore in the back
And He's gone!

Elron in disguise with diamonds
Maitreya the betraya on the lam with diamonds
"Bank" robber on the run with dye-packs


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Voted best song parody of the New Year!
 
stratty said:
I'm glad you sorted that out guano, I was going to make a crack about 'died in the wool' yesterday but thought better of it. :D
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LOL

However, "died in the wool" is an etymologically legitimate phrase. It appears in the 20 volume 1911 edition of the Oxford English Dictionary.

Updated (1967) reprint of original 1911 edition, below:

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[excerpt OED]

died in the wool (idiom -adj.) ​
1. iatrogenically induced death. ​
2. any medical malfeasance, fraud or charlatanism resulting in a patient's death. ​
Etymology. < post-classical Latin dictionarius wordbook collection of phrases. Alliterative mispronunciation of "died in the wuqak" (Old Latin wuqukitas - literally medical malpractice (origin.18th century portmanteau "woo-quack"). [ref: usage panel variation study at "died in the woo"; first appearing in ancient Roman medical text (ca 342 BC) "Mors Fecit Per Moderna Ars Woo" (Death Caused by Modern Science of Woo by noted ancient Roman medical pioneer Elronius Hubbardicus, whose own medical discoveries were first self-administered to himself so as to confirm efficacy and safety, this ultimately resulting the non-optimized patient outcome of death). ​

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HelluvaHoax! said:
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LOL

However, "died in the wool" is an etymologically legitimate phrase. It appears in the 20 volume 1911 edition of the Oxford English Dictionary.

Updated (1967) reprint of original 1911 edition, below:



[excerpt OED]

died in the wool (idiom -adj.) ​
1. iatrogenically induced death. ​
2. any medical malfeasance, fraud or charlatanism resulting in a patient's death. ​
Etymology. < post-classical Latin dictionarius wordbook collection of phrases. Alliterative mispronunciation of "died in the wuqak" (Old Latin wuqukitas - literally medical malpractice (origin.18th century portmanteau "woo-quack"). [ref: usage panel variation study at "died in the woo"; first appearing in ancient Roman medical text (ca 342 BC) "Mors Fecit Per Modern Ars Woo" (Death Caused by Modern Science of Woo by noted ancient Roman medical pioneer Elronius Hubbardicus, whose own medical discoveries were first self-administered to himself so as to confirm efficacy and safety, this ultimately resulting the non-optimized patient outcome of death). ​

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That 2nd definition sounds like David Miscavige CSing Lisa McPherson.
 
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READER UPDATE: I am still awaiting written confirmation of the provenance of the previously posted dictionary entry of "died in the wool" and its variant "died in the woo".

So far neither the publisher nor the editorial board of the English Oxford Dictionary has answered, but I think it is safe to presume that their reluctance to due to my etymological methodologies, using modernized technological advances such as channeling and wholetrack research confirmed by a fully charged e-meter.

Ergo, you can accept what I clearly recall from 1911 when I was a past life lexicographer or not. However, please bear in mind that I am a Clear, so eidetically accurate recall is quite reliable.

:hattip:

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guanoloco said:
That 2nd definition sounds like David Miscavige CSing Lisa McPherson.
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Yes, but there is a substantial cultural (com) lag in the general public accepting such data. I can tell you that currently I am personally under considerable attack by online lexicographer TROLLS who are like totally invalidating my post that showed the etymological origins of "died in the woo".

A lot of beings, apparently, are rabidly against any reference to the wholetrack, which is very likely a dramatization of an incident like the Gorilla Goals Implant of 839 trillion years ago.

Hopefully readers on ESMB will not attempt trolling me or my definitions--or I will promptly report them and the site administrator will surely ban them!

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LATEST READER UPDATE: I just discovered that my e-meter leads had a frayed wire and it was shorting out. So, I'm going to say that it is POSSIBLE that my channeled definition (posted above) of "died in the woo" is perhaps not entirely accurate due to false reads that looked like Rockslams.

Perhaps, readers should temporarily ignore that definition until I can get new e-meter leads and recheck my wholetrack recall.

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I wanted to share that I just received a very disturbing e-mail message from the law firm representing Oxford English Dictionary Corporation:
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Dear Sir:​
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This letter shall hereby memorialize and provide you with Cease & Desist Notice of any further misrepresentations which you have attributed to OED editions whether past or present. We deny and vehemently reject your assertion that our client's publications have ever referenced "Died In The Wool", "Died in the Woo" or any variations and/or derivatives, thereof. ​
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Therefore, we demand that you remove any such illegitimate conveyances of said idiom(s) from all worldwide media and internet portals, without limitation. ​
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You are hereby prohibited from any statement or action which infers that OED has any affiliation with your fraudulent so-called "re-prints" or "fair use" of our brand, trademarks & copyrighted materials. ​
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Sincerely, ​
​
Mr. F. Baum. esq​
Law Firm of Kahns, Hokes & Pairodi​
​
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I am kind of getting a little freaked out at this point because I don't know exactly what all that legalese is trying to say. I mean, am I getting trolled or there some chance that this is a real law firm? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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HelluvaHoax! said:
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LATEST READER UPDATE: I just discovered that my e-meter leads had a frayed wire and it was shorting out. So, I'm going to say that it is POSSIBLE that my channeled definition (posted above) of "died in the woo" is perhaps not entirely accurate due to false reads that looked like Rockslams.

Perhaps, readers should temporarily ignore that definition until I can get new e-meter leads and recheck my wholetrack recall.
Click to expand...
Death Caused by Modern Science of Woo by noted ancient Roman medical pioneer Elronius Hubbardicus

A friend of the noted ancient Roman philosopher Biggus Dickus and his wife Incontinentia no doubt. :D
 
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cross-posted from another thread discussing why such a high percentage of contracted
Sea Org members (after decades of working 110 hours a week for decades)
still have not done the advanced, OT levels that would
have endowed them miraculous superpowers
to "make planetary clearing a reality".
- - - - -

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Enthetan said:
(snipped)
. . . and you're right, if senior management really thought it made you more able, then auditing staff would have been first priority.
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Scientology is like a weight loss clinic, boasting technology having a 100% cure-rate.
Yet 100% of the staff members working there are obese.
It is a "high crime" to ask why.

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CHUBBY PERSON
Wow, you mean it will cost me hundreds of thousands of
dollars to lose weight? Seriously? Why so much?

TUBBY TECH SALES REPRESENTATIVE
Well, we are the only weight loss clinic in the world
with a 100% cure rate. Did you know if you
don't lose weight you are going to die?
Wouldn't you agree that dying
would kind of ruin your life?

CHUBBY PERSON
But all the people working here look like....well...fatsos.

TUBBY TECH REPRESENTATIVE
We don't use hate speech like that,
nobody is allowed to say the "F" word.

CHUBBY PERSON
Yeah, but really, why do the staff look
so incredibly..um, weight-challenged.

TUBBY TECH REPRESENTATIVE
All of our employees are not weight-challenged,
they are PRE-OTs.

CHUBBY PERSON
Oh, what does that mean?

TUBBY TECH REPRESENTATIVE
Pre-Operating Thins.

CHUBBY PERSON
Yeah, but they're not thin.

TUBBY TECH REPRESENTATIVE
No, no, no. PRE-thins.

CHUBBY PERSON
Thin? That makes no sense.

TUBBY TECH REPRESENTATIVE
Oh yes, it does, it makes perfect sense. You see, trillions of years
ago we were all totally thin. Then really bad things happened and
psychiatrists invented sugar, french fries and pizza. Then
we went down a dwindling spiral. But Tubby Tech can
audit out the part of you that prevents you from
being who you really really really are
which is a non-overweight person.
We rehab and restore your
native state which
is thin.

CHUBBY PERSON
So, I'm not fat? I'm
just a pre-thin?

TUBBY TECH REPRESENTATIVE
Exactly. And after you do all the upper
levels here you will become a
full OT, Operating Thin.

CHUBBY PERSON
And what happens if i pay all that money and
I'm still not able to wear skinny jeans?
What if I don't lose the weight but
only lose a fortune?

TUBBY TECH REPRESENTATIVE
Oh we have tech for that too. If that happens
we will declare you an SP and kick you out.

CHUBBY PERSON
What's an SP?

TUBBY TECH REPRESENTATIVE
It stands for "Super Pudgy". Our 100% workable tech unfortunately
does not work on the Super Pudgies because they not only
fatter than hell they are also evil DBs.


CHUBBY PERSON
Evil DBs?

TUBBY TECH REPRESENTATIVE
Yeah, Evil Degraded Blimps. But don't worry, we can run your credit
right now and confirm that you are not evil. Because if
the funds clear it means you are really one of us,
the super-elite and super-able Pre-Thins
who will be skinny for eternity,
not like those other
fat-ass losers.

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Wow - I did the group processing given here in the video and I am wearing a head, letting my body have a head and sitting in a chair. I am also
experiencing "BE".


I am having win after win.

Is there a qual person around with some cans and a Registrar to route me on to my next service? I would like to attest :dizzy:
 
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