TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Wow!
I did not know about the $cientology cults failed foray into auto racing. They always manage to shoot themselves in the foot with their $cientological behaviour.

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Worst of all, the cult's infamously "failed foray into auto racing" was so avoidable!

All they had to do was have the Dianetics-sponsored race car driver get fully hatted, using Ron's wholetrack racing technology when he was "The Green Dragon".

- - - - - -

They were also keen on motor racing and every once in a while Scientologists undergoing auditing "will run into [memories of] race tracks and race-track drivers". Hubbard described this in some detail in a 1960 lecture:​
"They had turbine-generated cars that went about 275 miles an hour (443 km/h). They ran with a high whine. I notice they've just now invented the motor again. And they had tracks that were booby-trapped with atom bombs, and they had side bypasses. The tracks were mined, and the grandstands were leaded-paned."​
The tracks were deliberately designed to be as dangerous as possible, with "a mountain that you went up to the top of and fell off", and death was commonplace; but participants in the races, and any other citizen, might be revived by the civilization's medical ability. According to author Russell Miller,[6] Hubbard liked to reminisce to his followers about "how he was a race-car driver in the Marcab civilization". One of the people who accompanied him aboard his private fleet in the late 1960s described Hubbard's stories of life with the Marcabians:​
"LRH said he was a race driver called the Green Dragon who set a speed record before he was killed in an accident. He came back in another lifetime as the Red Devil and beat his own record, then came back and did it again as the Blue Streak. Finally he realized all he was doing was breaking his own records and it was no game any more."​
- - - - - -

LRH the race car driver had it infinitely harder back in the day than the 20th century's Dianetics race car driver. My God, Ron had to avoid a racetrack "booby trapped with atom bombs!" Today's Dianetics driver only has to avoid the internet.

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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
FAQ:

QUESTION: What would a Scientologist think when they were listening to a recorded lecture by Hubbard where he fondly recalled crazy cult crap, such as how he was a legendary race-car champion who successfully negotiated "Marcabian race tracks booby-trapped with Atom Bombs!" or how he was "....nearly run over by a freight train on Venus the other day!"​
ANSWER: They would think: "Um......wow!"​
QUESTION: Why the "Um" part?​
ANSWER: That was their analytical mind momentarily keying in a common sense implant.​
QUESTION: . Okay then, what should the Scientologist's reaction have been?​
ANSWER: "LOL. WTF?! Where are my keys?"​
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Chuck J.

"Austere Religious Scholar"
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Worst of all, the cult's infamously "failed foray into auto racing" was so avoidable!

All they had to do was have the Dianetics-sponsored race car driver get fully hatted, using Ron's wholetrack racing technology when he was "The Green Dragon".

- - - - - -

They were also keen on motor racing and every once in a while Scientologists undergoing auditing "will run into [memories of] race tracks and race-track drivers". Hubbard described this in some detail in a 1960 lecture:​
"They had turbine-generated cars that went about 275 miles an hour (443 km/h). They ran with a high whine. I notice they've just now invented the motor again. And they had tracks that were booby-trapped with atom bombs, and they had side bypasses. The tracks were mined, and the grandstands were leaded-paned."​
The tracks were deliberately designed to be as dangerous as possible, with "a mountain that you went up to the top of and fell off", and death was commonplace; but participants in the races, and any other citizen, might be revived by the civilization's medical ability. According to author Russell Miller,[6] Hubbard liked to reminisce to his followers about "how he was a race-car driver in the Marcab civilization". One of the people who accompanied him aboard his private fleet in the late 1960s described Hubbard's stories of life with the Marcabians:​
"LRH said he was a race driver called the Green Dragon who set a speed record before he was killed in an accident. He came back in another lifetime as the Red Devil and beat his own record, then came back and did it again as the Blue Streak. Finally he realized all he was doing was breaking his own records and it was no game any more."​
- - - - - -

LRH the race car driver had it infinitely harder back in the day than the 20th century's Dianetics race car driver. My God, Ron had to avoid a racetrack "booby trapped with atom bombs!" Today's Dianetics driver only has to avoid the internet.

.
Where is the $cientology Pro Racing Team?

They have 200,000 years of whole track experience.
They could use Ron's wonderful tech to train up drivers and crew. (Touch that gearshift...)

The Mighty Midget has plenty of money stashed offshore to pay for it.
No need to deal with "wogs" - just go out and dominate the sport.

...I guess they're at the same place the $cientology inventors and disease curer's and sports stars and poets and writers and philanthropist's are...

non existent.

The $cientology cult is parasitical. It's a parasite on society. They are leaders in NOTHING, except hucksterism and how to separate people from their money.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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TECH QUIZ: What are a Scientologist's last words when (after decades of auditing and training) finally go OT and are ready to go back into the MEST universe and for the first time actually demonstrate their miraculous superpowers?

ANSWER: . "Thanks Ron, hold my beer soup cans!"


additional technical data
.

A.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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[wiki link]
"LRH said he was a (wholetrack Marcabian) race driver called the Green Dragon who set a speed record before he was killed in an accident. He came back in another lifetime as the Red Devil and beat his own record, then came back and did it again as the Blue Streak. Finally he realized all he was doing was breaking his own records and it was no game any more."​
----------------------
Really Ron?
FORENSIC FACT
- OR -
F/Ning FICTION?
-----------------------



"The Green Dragon"
1581294510650.png

SOURCE: First appeared in 1945 "Dime Comix" [ LINK HERE ]



"The Blue Streak"
1581295174726.png

SOURCE: First appeared in 1944 "Blue Streak Comics" [ LINK HERE ]



"The Red Devil"
1581295901711.png

SOURCE: 1940s tin "Red Devil" windup toy race-car [ LINK HERE ]

CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY FAQ:
Question: How does the COS explain that the Source of Scientology has so many earlier similar Sources? Didn't Hubbard rip off those dorky names from cringey comic book characters from the 1940s--and call it "wholetrack research"?
Answer: "Dr. Hubbard certainly was not plagiarizing by re-using others' ideas! It's just that Ron was way ahead of his time as the very first religious leader in history to pioneer the Eco tech of saving the planet by recycling."

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Karen#1

Well-known member
Golden Pillars ~~ Part 2

What is exactly do these stage props portray. Many Sea Org members go with very little sleep for a whole week before one of these events...
Golden Pillars, mind numbing sound effects that burst your ear drums, (Rolling Thunder) all exits locked til you cough up $$$$, overwhelm and in your FACE !

DM.Golden.glory.FB.jpgDM.Gold.Pill.FB.jpgGolden.tech.11.jpg
DM.Gold.Pill.FB.jpg
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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(Ideal Pillars in previous post)
What exactly do these stage props portray?
.
Miscavige's messianic message is always---consistent!

Golden Age of Graphics Presents:
(photo courtesy of the Church of Scientology)

"As long as you stay on your Bridge your eternity is safe!"


- - - - -

Golden Age Of Graphics Presents:
(original un-retouched photo)

"As long as you stay on your Bridge your eternity is safe!"

.
 
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stratty

Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband
Golden Pillars ~~ Part 2

What is exactly do these stage props portray. Many Sea Org members go with very little sleep for a whole week before one of these events...
Golden Pillars, mind numbing sound effects that burst your ear drums, (Rolling Thunder) all exits locked til you cough up $$$$, overwhelm and in your FACE !
TBH you'd expect to see Ming the Fucking Merciless sat beneath that fucking lot! :D
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
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cross posted from another thread discussing the wacky
woo nutcase (Captain Bill Robertson, Deputy Commodore)
who was Scientology's #2 executive, directly below

The Founder & Commodore, L. Ron Hubbard.
--------

originally posted by Karen#1
Actually, there is more fuller information here ~~Captain Bill (Robertson) was a the Commanding Officer of AOLA for a while 1968/1969. While the Captain of AOLA he issued some extraordinary orders. He had spun stories of how the higher echelons of the Sea Organization had been taken over by aliens, called Marcabians, from other planets.Marcab.

Furthermore he asserted Markabians were lurking, parked on the roof top of AOLA
. Sea Org were put on patrol to watch for Markab ships arriving at night. This was all taken very seriously and Sea org members did what they were told...... (full post linked here)

- - - - - - -​

OMG, parked RTs?! (Roof Thetans?!)
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Godwin's Law:
Godwin's Law is an Internet adage asserting that: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving NAZIS or HITLER approaches 1."
Odd Wins Law:
Odd Wins Law is an adage asserting that: "As any discussion about Scientology's supernatural OT wins grows longer, the probability of a miracle involving PARKING approaches 1."
.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
In the 2009 people were chitted, crammed and even sent to ETHICS for not being on course doing BASICS.
I was personally threatened with ETHICS several times and for anyone that knows me personally, you can guess
how well THAT went over....
:hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:

Here's a sample of a CRAMMING order. Laugh with me .

View attachment 1814

LOL

Nice showcase for cult gaslighting under the guise of a "cramming order".

Just under the surface of that letter and (cramming) "order" is this:


DEAR SCIENTOLOGIST!
YOU HAVE DONE THE STUDENT HAT 3 TIMES!
YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO USE RON'S TECH TO LEARN!
VERY WELL DONE & CONGRATULATIONS FOR YOUR OUTSTANDING DUPLICATION!

BUT WE HAVE THIS LITTLE PROBLEM WITH YOU.
IT SEEMS YOU REALLY SUCK AT STUDY.
BECAUSE THERE WERE SOME MISSING COMMAS IN THE BOOKS YOU READ.
THIS MEANS YOU FALSE ATTESTED TO UNDERSTANDING THOSE BOOKS.
WE THINK YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING RIGHT?

BUT WE ARE GOING TO GIVE YOU A 2ND CHANCE!
WE ARE WILLING, FOR A VERY SHORT TIME, TO WAIVE THE CANCELLATION OF CERTS.
WE ARE ALSO WILLING TO NOT ASSIGN YOU A LOWER CONDITION FOR BETRAYING RON LIKE THIS.
BUT YOU NEED TO AT LEAST MAKE UP THE DAMAGE BY DONATING $4000 TODAY FOR THE BOOKS.
AND YOU ALSO NEED TO BUY BASICS COURSE AND START IT.
WE'LL DO THAT FOR YOU BECAUSE, UNDERNEATH ALL YOUR PSYCHOTIC CI, YOU ARE A GOOD BEING.

NOW, YOU KNOW FULL WELL THAT YOU DID NOT GET ALL THE MIRACULOUS SUPER-POWERS
LIKE EXTERIORIZATION, LEVITATION, TOTAL TRACK RECALL, POSTULATE POWER (TO GET ANYTHING
YOU WANT INSTANTLY) AND IMMORTALITY ON TOP OF ETERNITY. WE LOOKED AT YOUR PC FOLDERS
AND HONESTLY YOUR CASE IS A FREAKING MESS. YOU HAVE NO POWERS AT ALL---UNLIKE ALL THE OTHER SCIENTOLOGISTS WHO VERY EASILY CAN EXTERIORIZE AND TRAVEL THE UNIVERSE AT NIGHT WHILE THEIR BODY IS SLEEPING. IT'S TERRIBLE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO YOURSELF BY READING RON'S BOOKS THAT CONTAINED PUNCTUATION ERRORS.

AND DON'T TRY TO CLAIM THAT IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. OF COURSE IT'S YOUR FAULT. RON SAYS A BEING IS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO THEM. YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT THERE WERE TYPOS BECAUSE "THE BEING ALWAYS KNOWS". THE ONLY EXCEPTION TO THAT IS THAT RON THE BEING DID NOT ALWAYS KNOW THAT TRANSCRIPTIONISTS WOULD LEAVE OUT COMMAS. THAT'S CERTAINLY NOT HIS FAULT, BECAUSE HE IS QUITE BUSY SAVING ALL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE, SO THAT'S A LOT ON HIS PLATE!

IF WE DON'T GET A COMPLIANCE REPORT FROM YOU ON THE ABOVE ORDERS, REALLY HORRIBLE THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU.

YOU CAN DO YOUR BRIDGE THE EASY WAY OR THE HARD WAY.

ML,

BILLY BLOWDOWN
OT VIII
LETTER REG
 
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cleared cannibal

Well-known member
LOLOLOLOL HH. :hysterical: :hysterical: :hysterical:

Hey HelluvaHoax...did you know WHY Kansas City won the Superbowl ?????

View attachment 1752
Here is the reason KC won


TO: ALL FSMs & SCIENTOLOGISTS OF KANSAS CITY

DearXXXX XXXXX

With the Super Bowl occurring in a few hours, we’ve got the best ever opportunity to reach thousands upon thousands of new people with our Scientology Network and Super Bowl ad campaign. We have a target to get out a minimum of 20,000 “Curious?” handouts, but with so many people coming to downtown to celebrate this event, we can do MANY more!!! The streets are going to be closed down and public from all over the country are coming out to be part of this historic moment. All this is happening today, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

Come into the org right away, see the FSM I/C and help hand out the new “Curious?” handouts this week for any length of time as it will be very busy outside! Anyone who gets at least 2,000 pieces out will get a special prize plus a special commendation. Recently, one FSM got out 600 pieces in one hour, so think with that!

Let’s use this historic Chief’s moment to reach the public out on the streets and introduce them to Scientology!

© Church of Scientology of Kansas City. All Rights Reserved. SCIENTOLOGY is a trademark and service mark owned by Religious Technology Center and is used with its permission.
 
O

Oat Tea Ate

Guest
Hmm, well I envision another scenario. You complain about the bug in your salad and you get sent to pay for a new and improved review salad. Said review salad is the same salad you just complained about sans the bug which was removed by standard tong tech, retossed and assessed by a highly trained Hubbard Salad Specialist.
This is fun.

Here is another scenario for the Scientologist who, at the restaurant, received the salad with the bug.

You = the Scientologist

You know you pulled in the bug on the salad so you assign yourself to lower conditions (LIABILITY) all on your own. You begin the arduous task of writing up your O/W's on Bugs and Salads and waiters and restaurants, and the sun shining (it was that day) and Los Angeles (the City you are in) and chairs (you are sitting on one when the bug appeared) and the color mauve ( the color theme in the restaurant) and Bill Perkins (the owner of the Restaurant) and everyone you know with the name "Barry" the cook who prepared the salad, and the name Carrie ( the hostess that sat you in the section of restaurant where the Bug appeared) BIG BREATH and Tuesdays (it was a Tuesday when this happened) and the word CHEF - it was a chef salad. The you got out your dinky dictionary and cleared the word Lettuce, Cock Roach (it was a cock roach) tomato, egg, cheese, salami, turkey, pepper, celery, onion, bowl, fork, plate and crouton. THE CRASHING MU was crouton...
Then you got out your clay (on the table as you sat) and did a clay demo on how a crashing MU can cause you to spiral and commit crimes against humanity.
You asked the owner of the restaurant if you can work there for free for 1 month to make up the damage.
You contacted the IAS, your local Registrar and your FSM and made huge donations you could not afford using your credit cards to make up the damage.
Then you asked people in the restaurant, your fsm and the terminals at the Org to sign you out of lower conditions.
:hattip:
 
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Dotey OT

Re-Membered
This is fun.

Here is another scenario for the Scientologist who, at the restaurant, received the salad with the bug.

You = the Scientologist

You know you pulled in the bug on the salad so you assign yourself to lower conditions all on your own. You begin the arduous task of writing up your O/W's on Bugs and Salads and waiters and restaurants, and the sun shining (it was that day) and Los Angeles (the City you are in) and chairs (you are sitting on one when the bug appeared) and the color mauve ( the color theme in the restaurant) and Bill Perkins (the owner of the Restaurant) and everyone you know with the name "Barry" the cook who prepared the salad, and the name Carrie ( the hostess that sat you in the section of restaurant where the Bug appeared) BIG BREATH and Tuesdays (it was a Tuesday when this happened) and the word CHEF - it was a chef salad. The you got out your dinky dictionary and cleared the word Lettuce, Cock Roach (it was a cock roach) tomato, egg, cheese, salami, turkey, pepper, celery, onion, bowl, fork, plate and crouton. THE CRASHING MU was crouton...
Then you got out your clay (on the table as you sat) and did a clay demo on how a crashing MU can cause you to spiral and commit crimes against humanity.
You asked the owner of the restaurant if you can work there for free for 1 month to make up the damage.
You contacted the IAS, your local Registrar and your FSM and made huge donations you could not afford using your credit cards to make up the damage.
Then you asked people in the restaurant to sign you out of lower conditions.
:hattip:
But the first person that looked at your liability write up says "I don't really see an effective blow here despite personal danger."
 
O

Oat Tea Ate

Guest
.


.

Worst of all, the cult's infamously "failed foray into auto racing" was so avoidable!

All they had to do was have the Dianetics-sponsored race car driver get fully hatted, using Ron's wholetrack racing technology when he was "The Green Dragon".

- - - - - -

They were also keen on motor racing and every once in a while Scientologists undergoing auditing "will run into [memories of] race tracks and race-track drivers". Hubbard described this in some detail in a 1960 lecture:​
"They had turbine-generated cars that went about 275 miles an hour (443 km/h). They ran with a high whine. I notice they've just now invented the motor again. And they had tracks that were booby-trapped with atom bombs, and they had side bypasses. The tracks were mined, and the grandstands were leaded-paned."​
The tracks were deliberately designed to be as dangerous as possible, with "a mountain that you went up to the top of and fell off", and death was commonplace; but participants in the races, and any other citizen, might be revived by the civilization's medical ability. According to author Russell Miller,[6] Hubbard liked to reminisce to his followers about "how he was a race-car driver in the Marcab civilization". One of the people who accompanied him aboard his private fleet in the late 1960s described Hubbard's stories of life with the Marcabians:​
"LRH said he was a race driver called the Green Dragon who set a speed record before he was killed in an accident. He came back in another lifetime as the Red Devil and beat his own record, then came back and did it again as the Blue Streak. Finally he realized all he was doing was breaking his own records and it was no game any more."​
- - - - - -

LRH the race car driver had it infinitely harder back in the day than the 20th century's Dianetics race car driver. My God, Ron had to avoid a racetrack "booby trapped with atom bombs!" Today's Dianetics driver only has to avoid the internet.

.
"LRH said he was a race driver called the Green Dragon who set a speed record before he was killed in an accident. He came back in another lifetime as the Red Devil and beat his own record, then came back and did it again as the Blue Streak. Then LRH came back as a SHIT STAIN and called himself the founder of Scientology.
 

stratty

Inveterate gnashnab & snoutband
"LRH said he was a race driver called the Green Dragon who set a speed record before he was killed in an accident. He came back in another lifetime as the Red Devil and beat his own record, then came back and did it again as the Blue Streak. Then LRH came back as a SHIT STAIN and called himself the founder of Scientology.
Oh, you mean the Brown Streak. :D
 

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.
But the first person that looked at your liability write up says "I don't really see an effective blow here despite personal danger."
.
LOL! (Oat Tea Ate's "Honey I think I pulled in a Bug!" lower condition AND your ideal response)

I'd sign Oat Tea Ate's lower-conditions Formula if he additionally paid for and completed the Flag-only "OT DEBUG RUNDOWN".

- - It handles the whole track reason for treason.​
- - It also handles (and erases) the reason for reason.​

Have I mentioned recently that Scientology's Modern Science of Mental Health is the only workable mental health technology on this planet that cures rationality?



.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
.

Oh, you mean the Brown Streak. :D

LOL. I shouldn't have laughed at that, but I did. This revealed to me that I still have unhandled joke engrams or some kind of fun implant.
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