TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

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posted by onceuponatime link

Beautiful, it's like I was there. How do you handle problems? Demand they get handled, it's that simple!

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I think you have identified the CYCLE OF A SCIENTOLOGY HANDLING:

• Obnosing outpoints and a situation.
• Postulating that it becomes an ideal scene.
• When the postulate fails, demand another post handle it!
• When that fails, write a knowledge report about the sabotage.
• When that fails, slam the guilty into the RPF for "rehabilitation".
• When that fails, Declare them SP and disconnect them.
• Obnosing that the outpoints are still there.
• Investigating who is responsible for the outpoints.
• Discovering that nobody is on that post any longer since the Declare.
• Writing a knowledge report about the sabotage of unmanned posts
• Investigating the recruiter and slamming them into the RPF for "rehabilitation"
• (continue above steps until the outpoints vanish and stats boom)

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[Bill]

Speaking of missing toilet paper (i.e. essentials not being funded), I remember when I was in the Sea Org at AOLA, my shoes were falling apart. These were shoes I'd had for years before joining and they were the only pair I owned.

I kept writing up my little FP request for a new pair of shoes. Week after week after week. Never approved.

I finally realized I could just afford to get them resoled ... but for a few days, I'd have nothing to wear.

So I started going barefoot (in a very yukky part of L.A.) while my shoes were being repaired.

(And here is the best part) My boss, the Supercargo, stopped me, pointed at my bare feet and yelled "ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME WRONG!!!"

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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The marketing genius of casinos was not lost on Scientology. Both have glitzy palaces offering "high-stakes gambling" that can pay off with untold riches & rewards if one has "wins". In both, however, it is impossible to maintain a "winning" state because, over time, "the house always wins"..

There's something else that Scientology has in common with the casinos. Your chances of attaining Total Freedom within Scientology are about the same as your chances of achieving it within the casinos. Probably you have a slightly greater chance within the casinos.

LOL LOL LOL! That line was just nominated for. . .

"2022's Top Ten Funniest Suppressive Punchlines On This Planet"


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[Type4_PTS]

LOL LOL LOL! That line was just nominated for. . .

"2022's Top Ten Funniest Suppressive Punchlines On This Planet"

I am honored to be nominated for such a prestigious award.

Just wondering, does this come with any type of official certificate or lapel pin?

 

[Type4_PTS]

LOL LOL LOL! That line was just nominated for. . .

"2022's Top Ten Funniest Suppressive Punchlines On This Planet"

The other day in your comment about the casinos you had posted this picture from inside Caesars Palace in Vegas along with the text just below.

This could easily be mistaken for the inside of the SUPERPOWER building.
Or it could be the stage set of any of Scientology's mega events. Or,
just replace one of those oversized horizontal paintings with a
flatscreen monitor playng cult propaganda on an endless loop—
and one might easily mistake it for the inside of an Ideal Org.


​

It got me thinking about some huge problems facing both Scientology as well as the City of Clearwater. For the City, their downtown area has been mostly avoided by their citizens as well as tourists so they can avoid the Scientology cult. And for the Flag Land Base, they've had some horrible PR due to their effect on the downtown area. So I came up with a solution that is truly the greatest good that will have a tremendously positive impact on both the city as well as benefit Scientology. Convert the Superpower building into a casino! And convert the Fort Harrison into a hotel for tourists coming to the casino. This will boom the economy for the City of Clearwater and also put the Gross Income stats for Scientology into a condition of Power, bringing in billions of dollars. Scientologists already own over a hundred other properties in Clearwater so can move all their operations into some of those other properties for now. It will be initially an inconvenience for them but the thousands of people coming to the casino will present them huge opportunities for dissemination! And with the income from the casino coming in they can eventually build a new hotel and Superpower building.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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I am honored to be nominated for such a prestigious award.

Just wondering, does this come with any type of official certificate or lapel pin?

Absolutely!

As we speak right now, old world craftsmen are fabricating the world's very first award of its kind.

It's the 24 karat gold "LAUGHING LION MIRTH MASTER MERETORIOUS" lapel pin to honor your achievements in the world of Joking & Degrading!

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[Reyne Mayer]

Convert the Superpower building into a casino!

i've thought a convention center, which is a logical adjunct to a hotel.

unfortunately unless there is some black swan event that causes an accelerated collapse, i expect the CoS will hang on to their flagship properties far longer than makes any sense -- and those may well be in miserable shape by the time they do finally come on the market. just look at their super stupid if not virtually insane mismanagement of all the derelict buildings they have around the world that were supposed to be turned into 'ideal' orgs.....

 

[Type4_PTS]

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Absolutely!

As we speak right now, old world craftsmen are fabricating the world's very first award of its kind.

It's the 24 karat gold "LAUGHING LION MIRTH MASTER MERETORIOUS" lapel pin to honor your achievements in the world of Joking & Degrading!

.​

I would wear that for real!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

The other day in your comment about the casinos you had posted this picture from inside Caesars Palace in Vegas along with the text just below. It got me thinking about some huge problems facing both Scientology as well as the City of Clearwater. For the City, their downtown area has been mostly avoided by their citizens as well as tourists so they can avoid the Scientology cult. And for the Flag Land Base, they've had some horrible PR due to their effect on the downtown area. So I came up with a solution that is truly the greatest good that will have a tremendously positive impact on both the city as well as benefit Scientology. Convert the Superpower building into a casino! And convert the Fort Harrison into a hotel for tourists coming to the casino. This will boom the economy for the City of Clearwater and also put the Gross Income stats for Scientology into a condition of Power, bringing in billions of dollars. Scientologists already own over a hundred other properties in Clearwater so can move all their operations into some of those other properties for now. It will be initially an inconvenience for them but the thousands of people coming to the casino will present them huge opportunities for dissemination! And with the income from the casino coming in they can eventually build a new hotel and Superpower building.

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As wild as that is, it would actually work and boom the little sleepy town of Clearwater!

To keep church and state and commerce separate, there could be a friendly and simple policy that within the confines of the SUPERPOWER CASINO and FORT HARRISON HOTEL no staff would be allowed to speak about Scientology. However if any customer inquired about it, they would simply be handed a free shuttle token to take a short trip over to the SANDCASTLE which would be a newly converted and dedicated tourist destination hotspot that is much like Ripley's. . .

RONNIE'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT
MUSEUM OF OT POWERS
​

Once inside, they could tour exhibits that recreate moments where an Operating Thetan demonstrated their miraculously magical powers by either saving mankind, salvaging this sector and/or parking their car.


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[Type4_PTS]

To keep church and state and commerce separate, there could be a friendly and simple policy that within the confines of the SUPERPOWER CASINO and FORT HARRISON HOTEL no staff would be allowed to speak about Scientology.

Of course, no staff would be allowed to speak about Scientology. But in hotels, it is acceptable to put religious materials like bibles in the rooms.
Perhaps materials other than bibles can be put in their place. Maybe an offer of a free seminar that teaches how to use Scientology to maximize your winnings at the casino and improve your ability to find great parking places.

 

[guanoloco]

The other day in your comment about the casinos you had posted this picture from inside Caesars Palace in Vegas along with the text just below.

View attachment 17562

This could easily be mistaken for the inside of the SUPERPOWER building.
Or it could be the stage set of any of Scientology's mega events. Or,
just replace one of those oversized horizontal paintings with a
flatscreen monitor playng cult propaganda on an endless loop—
and one might easily mistake it for the inside of an Ideal Org.


​

It got me thinking about some huge problems facing both Scientology as well as the City of Clearwater. For the City, their downtown area has been mostly avoided by their citizens as well as tourists so they can avoid the Scientology cult. And for the Flag Land Base, they've had some horrible PR due to their effect on the downtown area. So I came up with a solution that is truly the greatest good that will have a tremendously positive impact on both the city as well as benefit Scientology. Convert the Superpower building into a casino! And convert the Fort Harrison into a hotel for tourists coming to the casino. This will boom the economy for the City of Clearwater and also put the Gross Income stats for Scientology into a condition of Power, bringing in billions of dollars. Scientologists already own over a hundred other properties in Clearwater so can move all their operations into some of those other properties for now. It will be initially an inconvenience for them but the thousands of people coming to the casino will present them huge opportunities for dissemination! And with the income from the casino coming in they can eventually build a new hotel and Superpower building.

Where in the hell do you come up with these squirrel ideas?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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Of course, no staff would be allowed to speak about Scientology. But in hotels, it is acceptable to put religious materials like bibles in the rooms. Perhaps materials other than bibles can be put in their place. Maybe an offer of a free seminar that teaches how to use Scientology to maximize your winnings at the casino...

Scientology & Winningness

I approve of that message! -LRH​

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[Type4_PTS]

Where in the hell do you come up with these squirrel ideas?

They come after consumption of my drug of choice.

 

[Isaac]

I am honored to be nominated for such a prestigious award.

Just wondering, does this come with any type of official certificate or lapel pin?

you’ll be getting “a Cert” with your name written in calligraphy on it…
it makes a Thetan feel 10 feet tall and bullet proof LRH
it’s part of the love-bombing so you let your guard down
It’s easier to drain your bank account

 

[Type4_PTS]

you’ll be getting “a Cert” with your name written in calligraphy on it…
it makes a Thetan feel 10 feet tall and bullet proof LRH
it’s part of the love-bombing so you let your guard down
It’s easier to drain your bank account

I'm sure it would be superior to the certificates one gets in Scientology, as those can be canceled at any time should one commit an offense as minor as posting on an internet forum such as this. Some people paid $500,000 or more to complete all the services within the CoS and donated for Ideal Orgs, TWTH Campaigns, etc. And CoS canceled all their certs for the "crime" of posting on an internet forum or communicating with a family member.

That of course wouldn't happen to any certs obtained here on this forum. Would it?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

They come after consumption of my drug of choice.


View attachment 17564

LOL. When you are in the mood to try out some new life-changing beans, I'd recommend:

go for the whole beans, preferably put thru a burr grinder
set on "coarse". And then run thru a delightful French Press
coffee maker with water heated to around 195 degrees.


BUT....FOR VERY SPECIAL OCCASIONS IF YOU
ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO REALLY
WAKE YOU UP (AS WELL AS ALL OF YOUR
DORMANT BODY THETANS) TRY THIS:

Beans if possible, but if you are in a hurry, ground
will definitely do the trick too. Undeniably the World's
Strongest Coffee--but also one of the most incredibly
delicious you have ever had the pleasure to try. But,
be aware, aficionados of "DWC" are similar to a cult
and soon you'll end up doing weird things like buying
collectible, special limited edition designer mugs.

get one today, here's a used one on sale for only $180, LOL



[ more mugs here ]

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[Enthetan]

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Scientologists are soaring up the tone scale
in anticipation of the re-re-re-re-re release of the
ALL NEW & IMPROVED OEC/FEBC VOLUMES!
- - -
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New OEC? New FEBC? It's extremely funny reading about all this "newly discovered tech" and "unprecedented breakthroughs". But that won't prevent Ideal Scientologists from leaping to their feet, applauding and wildly cheering for the Emporer's New Policies--whilst dreaming of a future made glorious by receiving a new lapel pin!

The entire concept of an "ALL NEW & IMPROVED" OEC/FEBC COURSE" is absurdly ridiculous on its face. What exactly could be new or improved about inviolable HCO Policies that Hubbard wrote in the 1960s and 1970s?

• Did Hubbard re-write those policies after he died? no
• In keeping with "KSW" is anyone else allowed to re-write those policies? no
• Is anyone allowed to describe or "evaluate" what a policy really means? no
• Is there some new "study tech" so Scientologists can now learn for the first time? no
• Did COB discover any new admin tech (other than off-policy "status donations")? no

It's been over a half-century since the OEC/FEBC materials and courses have been in wide release. Why didn't the orgs all boom like they were supposed to have? How did all those hundreds of former OEC/FEBC graduates actually crash the membership stats from "fifteen-million Scientologists" down to around only fifteen-thousand in 2022?

Scientologists have no idea.

Yet they are worried and desperate for someone to tell them a soothing bedtime story about what went wrong, so they can relax and fall back to sleep again. That's the COS! (Church of Somnambulists).

Alas, the new "WHY" is the same old tired "WHY" given multiple times before by RTC (Recycling Technology Center).

So what is the "WHY" you must be wondering. Simple, let's go the event and listen to the r-factor. . .

RON'S OT TECH WORKS...
YOU DBs SCREWED UP !

[CUE FLASHING SIGN FOR CONFUSED SCIENTOLOGISTS]

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The Scientologists pushing this are immune to logic or reason. Because they don't have to believe it themselves, they are just required to obey the orders from on high without question.

During the "Basics" push, I tried to talk with some of the people pushing me to buy the Basics package, making the point that LRH personally used the basic books when he was running the original SHSBC. That he had to review and approve the "galley proofs" before the books were printed. That I had authored things, and my "original notes" would rarely resemble the final thing published because it would evolve as I caught mistakes and decided there was a better way to express something. To no avail, because they had a quota and would be slammed if they didn't meet it.

Similarly, it is useless to point out that the original FEBC material was what was personally overseen by LRH. They don't care.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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The Scientologists pushing this are immune to logic or reason. Because they don't have to believe it themselves, they are just required to obey the orders from on high without question. During the "Basics" push, I tried to talk with some of the people pushing me to buy the Basics package, making the point that LRH personally used the basic books when he was running the original SHSBC. That he had to review and approve the "galley proofs" before the books were printed. That I had authored things, and my "original notes" would rarely resemble the final thing published because it would evolve as I caught mistakes and decided there was a better way to express something. To no avail, because they had a quota and would be slammed if they didn't meet it. Similarly, it is useless to point out that the original FEBC material was what was personally overseen by LRH. They don't care.

You nailed it!

Here's a true experience I had that fully corroborates your conclusion above.

Some years ago I was walking in a busy city with a young relative who must have been about 12 at that time. Up ahead I noticed "the red tablecloth of death" in the form of a draped lunch table stacked several feet high with luridly colored geology textbooks apparently about volcanoes!

It looked a little bit like this. . .

I jokingly asked the streetsmart youngster with me if they wanted to learn about the cult of Scientology and they laughed and said "YES!!!"

The dedicated men and women manning the booths must have been in their 60s, and judging by their well coiffed appearance, designer-label clothing and expensive shoes--I assumed they must have been local "upstat" Scientology public volunteering to sell Dr. Hubbard's book over the weekend. They looked like the kind of people you'd see at Flag doing their L's and bragging about their unprecedented OT wins and unkillable floating TA.

They began pitching like mad but I showed no signs of interest so they then focused on and began trying to find the kid's "ruin" right there on the sidewalk, LOL. Holy hell, that sure reeked of desperation! The kid became disoriented and disturbed when they tried to insist that there was some "ruin" after the kid said they were really happy with how their life was going. That's when I stepped in. . .

HELLUVA-SP
Maybe they are happy and don't need the book.

DIANETIC PITCHMAN
How about you? Have you heard about L. Ron Hubbard's
incredible scientific discoveries in the book Dianetics?

HELLUVA-SP
Um, yeah, actually I read it decades ago.

DIANETIC PITCHMAN
Wow! You must have read one of the early
versions. Did you know that there is a newly published
edition that clears up many of the questions and confusions
people had when they originally read this life changing book?

HELLUVA-SP
Oh really? But I already read the book.

DIANETIC PITCHMAN
You really need to get the new edition!

HELLUVA-SP
Seriously? Why is that? What's different?

DIANETIC PITCHMAN
Everything!!!
​

We quickly left.

Yes, he really said "Everything!"

Apparently, changing some minor punctuation marks in a 70 year old book about the state of Clear is—everything (to a pretend Clear).

That's what happens when advanced level Scientologists are told a scary ghost story about how the world will end if they don't sell lots of magical books that give people magical powers over the 75M year old ghosts that haunt them.

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[Type4_PTS]

LOL. When you are in the mood to try out some new life-changing beans, I'd recommend:

go for the whole beans, preferably put thru a burr grinder
set on "coarse". And then run thru a delightful French Press
coffee maker with water heated to around 195 degrees.


BUT....FOR VERY SPECIAL OCCASIONS IF YOU
ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO REALLY
WAKE YOU UP (AS WELL AS ALL OF YOUR
DORMANT BODY THETANS) TRY THIS:

Beans if possible, but if you are in a hurry, ground
will definitely do the trick too. Undeniably the World's
Strongest Coffee--but also one of the most incredibly
delicious you have ever had the pleasure to try. But,
be aware, aficionados of "DWC" are similar to a cult
and soon you'll end up doing weird things like buying
buying collectible, special limited edition designer mugs.

get one today, here's a used one on sale for only $180, LOL



[ more mugs here ]

.

​

Thank you for those recommendations! I suspect that both of those options could cause my stats to go into affluence.

Back around 5 or 6 years ago I found myself in Kona, the part of Hawaii that is famous for its coffee. And I happened to arrive the day before their annual coffee festival where all the coffee farmers have booths set up and give out sample-size cups of their coffee. There must have been 40 or 50 of them! I tried as many samples as possible and probably got two-thirds through all the possible ones, and only quit after feeling like my heart might explode.

I tried to find some pictures from that event but can't for the life of me find them. But I did come across this:

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Thank you for those recommendations! I suspect that both of those options could cause my stats to go into affluence.

Back around 5 or 6 years ago I found myself in Kona, the part of Hawaii that is famous for its coffee. And I happened to arrive the day before their annual coffee festival where all the coffee farmers have booths set up and give out sample-size cups of their coffee. There must have been 40 or 50 of them! I tried as many samples as possible and probably got two-thirds through all the possible ones, and only quit after feeling like my heart might explode.

I tried to find some pictures from that event but can't for the life of me find them. But I did come across this:



View attachment 17587

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LOL

LOL

FIFY

"Thank you for those recommendations! I suspect
that both of those options could cause
my stats to go into affluence power."


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