TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

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Comment overheard on another thread:
I found that out...many months after I had been illegally removed from post and sent to the equally illegal renos Deck Project Force.

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You mention that you were "illegally removed from post" and I have no doubt that you are quite accurate about that. However, I suggest that doing things illegally in Scientology is not actually off policy nor illegal. I hereby invoke the vast hidden world of Scientology contradictions made possible by the "Hubbard Law Of Commotion" itself, which states:

IN SCIENTOLOGY FOR EVERY CODE, CREED
POLICY & PIECE OF TECH THERE IS AN EQUAL AND
OPPOSITE CODE, CREED, POLICY & PIECE OF TECH​

To wit, someone "illegally removed from post" is NOT a violation of Scientology policy. It IS Scientology policy to violate any policy whenever and wherever it is deemed "ethical" and/or serves a higher purpose (i.e. "Purpose is senior to Policy" -L. Ron Hubbard).

There is, however, a strict requirement before any Scientologist is allowed to violate published LRH policy.

The off-policy, off-Source, KSW-violator would have to be standardly following un-published LRH policy.

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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All COS Scientologists
All Indie Scientologists
All Ron's Org Scientologists

* * * BREAKING NEWS * * *

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BREAKING NEWS - THIS JUST IN (2-01-22):
COB David Miscavige does not follow LRH Policy. Commodore L. Ron Hubbard does not follow LRH Policy. Only Scientology's defrauded dupes & donors follow LRH Policy. Sorry about the bad news.

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[Chuck J.]

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THE STULTIFYING SOPHISTRY OF
SCIENTOLOGY'S STATUSY STATS

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.... they had me at exotic Siberian weasels!

 

[SuperstarNeilC]

 

[Reyne Mayer]

I think one definition for Clear is: a being who no longer has their reactive mind.

But the definition for a Scientologist is: a being who no longer has their active mind.

VWD

also, the supposed Einstein quote, like so much else that scientology is based on, is a misrepresentation of the facts if not a lie.

The 10 percent of the brain myth asserts that humans generally use only 10 percent (or some other small percentage) of their brains. It has been misattributed to many celebrated people, notably Albert Einstein. By extrapolation, it is suggested that a person may harness this unused potential and increase intelligence.
....
The concept gained currency by circulating within the self-help movement of the 1920s; for example, the book Mind Myths: Exploring Popular Assumptions About the Mind and Brain includes a chapter on the ten percent myth that shows a self-help advertisement from the 1929 World Almanac with the line "There is NO LIMIT to what the human brain can accomplish. Scientists and psychologists tell us we use only about TEN PERCENT of our brain power."[6] This became a particular "pet idea"[7] of science fiction writer and editor John W. Campbell, who wrote in a 1932 short story that "no man in all history ever used even half of the thinking part of his brain".[8

Ten percent of the brain myth - Wikipedia

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.... they had me at exotic Siberian weasels!

LOL!

Unlike Scientology, I did not make that one up!

Nor did I "mock up" that the value of said Siberian weasels is (by weight) 3 times the price of gold!

Imagine that! Siberian weasels being exponentially more valuable than Scientology weasels. LOL

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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also, the supposed Einstein quote, like so much else that scientology is based on, is a misrepresentation of the facts if not a lie.

Thanks!

That's why I always ignore what Scientology claims—and go directly to the actual source. . .

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[HelluvaHoax!]

View attachment 16583

Yikes!!!

The pathos of Scientologists obediently writing CSWs not daring to do solve their own problems without "written approval".

While researching, here's another CSW I found. . .

CSW​

Sit: There has been a doomsday-magnitude nuclear holocaust.

Data: Psychs and/or Markabian implanters have detonated nuclear bombs (on this planet)and killed virtually all of the world's 7.9 billion people except a few dozen homo sapiens. I myself only survived because I am posted in a deep mountain fortress that is guarding the underground repository vaults safeguarding all of Ron's technology held on titanium discs. My food supplies will only last 2 weeks at most, so I am thinking of starting a business on the outside selling Dr. Hubbard's "GUK" anti-radiation vitamin formula. However if I leave the underground VAULT ORG without a replacement, I could be Com Ev'd and Declared which would endanger my eligibility to do OT levels and attain my eternity.


Solution: Kindly grant me permission to leave the bunker to forage for food and water and hopefully set up a GUK selling stand. I am also asking that I be allowed to borrow the org's folding lunch table that is otherwise used for free stress tests, so that i can begin selling GUK and making Ron and tech a household name! Finally, in the event that all Scientologists have been killed in the blast and nobody answers my CSW within 30 days that it is hereby approved that I personally am empowered to sign my own CSW and have it in writing that I can begin selling and putting in GukTech on this planet.

ML,

Billy Blowdown - OT VIII
2021 Ideal Scientologist of the Year


This is Okay!


_______________________ APPROVED



_______________________ NOT APPROVED




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[Chuck J.]

"This is OK."

Can anyone tell me the history of that? I've always thought it kinda odd. Even when I was in the Faux Navy.

You're telling the person who signs the CSW that it's OK to sign it?
Or that your plan is OK?
Both?
It's just a meaningless phrase that has become a thing $cilons do?


Don't even get me started on "much love."

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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"This is OK." Can anyone tell me the history of that? I've always thought it kinda odd. Even when I was in the Faux Navy. You're telling the person who signs the CSW that it's OK to sign it? Or that your plan is OK? Both? It's just a meaningless phrase that has become a thing $cilons do?

Don't even get me started on "much love."

[

LOL!

You have inquired about some rather profoundly esoteric nuances within the vast oceanic expanse of Scientological knowledge! I feel somewhat inadequate to the task of articulating a scientific answer. Thus I think we should call in one of our resident scholars, but L. Don Hubbard is currently busy.

Therefore I have contacted one of our other cherished advisors for answers. He hasn't visited this thread much in the past few years, but he assures me he reads it every day and keeps track of typos and other sources of transcriptionist sabotage. So, let's ask him!

Hey Commander Ex! Can you explain what's up with
all that "This Is Okay" and "ML" mumbo jumbo?

ANSWER #1: The clause "This is Okay" is an attestation affirming
that if anything goes wrong with the CSW's proposed solution, all
of the blame will be borne by the submitting party rather than the
infallibly ethical senior exec who spotted and reported the SP
criminal staff member who is dramatizing evil purposes
in a covert crusade to sabotage mankind's only hope.

ANSWER #2: The closing "ML" (Much Love) was
originally observed by noted scientist Dr. Hubbard
during an extensive wholetrack research project. Ron
discovered that by professing his love for Scientologists
at the end of all written communications, their reactive
minds remained keyed out during critical reg cycles
due to their F/Ning assumption that Ron would
never harm or bankrupt someone he loves. During
the late 1960s Ron's elite Sea Org execs admired
and adopted Ron's high-affinity messaging and
switched over to "ML" rather than "Groovy Man!"


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[Chuck J.]

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[

LOL!

You have inquired about some rather profoundly esoteric nuances within the vast oceanic expanse of Scientological knowledge! I feel somewhat inadequate to the task of articulating a scientific answer. Thus I think we should call in one of our resident scholars, but L. Don Hubbard is currently busy.

Therefore I have contacted one of our other cherished advisors for answers. He hasn't visited this thread much in the past few years, but he assures me he reads it every day and keeps track of typos and other sources of transcriptionist sabotage. So, let's ask him!

Hey Commander Ex! Can you explain what's up with
all that "This Is Okay" and "ML" mumbo jumbo?

ANSWER #1: The clause "This is Okay" is an attestation affirming
that if anything goes wrong with the CSW's proposed solution, all
of the blame will be borne by the submitting party rather than the
infallibly ethical senior exec who spotted and reported the SP
criminal staff member who is dramatizing evil purposes
in a covert crusade to sabotage mankind's only hope.

ANSWER #2: The closing "ML" (Much Love) was
originally observed by noted scientist Dr. Hubbard
during an extensive wholetrack research project. Ron
discovered that by professing his love for Scientologists
at the end of all written communications, their reactive
minds remained keyed out during critical reg cycles
due to their F/Ning assumption that Ron would
never harm or bankrupt someone he loves. During
the late 1960s Ron's elite Sea Org execs admired
and adopted Ron's high-affinity messaging and
switched over to "ML" rather than "Groovy Man!"


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First thing, I'm flabbergasted but honored that Commander X would deign to answer my questions! Yes, these are profoundly esoteric nuances and it does make sense that Commander X would address them.

As all answers are basically simple, I see that they can be summed up into a simple $cientology mantra: Sh*t rolls downhill.

 

[Reyne Mayer]

Comment overheard on another thread:
I found that out...many months after I had been illegally removed from post and sent to the equally illegal renos Deck Project Force.

as a wog(ette) who maybe just fails to grok such things, it strikes me that 'illegal' implies that (or buying into that) the orgs say what's legal or not, which i do not believe is now or ever has been the case.

i'm also always struck by the palpable outrage of such such statements, and profound violation of a sense of fairness. as an uninitiated outsider, it seems to me that scientology is clearly run according to Hubbard's Law of Commotion.

 

[Teanntás]

 

[Reyne Mayer]

my understanding is that in India they are much more suspicious of gurus, and on to their tricks and scams, due to their long historical and cultural experience, and sometimes will even run them out of town -- though some still have followings of millions in that (very large) country.

one of the reason that gurus came to the West in the last century, is that we didn't have that sort of acquired immunity, and it was much more fertile ground than back at home. i'll give a few credit for bringing worthwhile traditions like Yoga to the West, but all too many fell into the guru trap category.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

as a wog(ette) who maybe just fails to grok such things, it strikes me that 'illegal' implies that (or buying into that) the orgs say what's legal or not, which i do not believe is now or ever has been the case.

i'm also always struck by the palpable outrage of such such statements, and profound violation of a sense of fairness. as an uninitiated outsider, it seems to me that scientology is clearly run according to Hubbard's Law of Commotion.

Reyne said: ". . . as a wog(ette) who maybe just fails to grok such things, it strikes me that 'illegal' implies that (or buying into that) the orgs say what's legal or not, which i do not believe is now or ever has been the case."

COMMENT: I think what you are referring to was a post where a former staff member and now self-professed "Indie" claimed that while on staff they illegally booted him from his post. In that context, a Scientology staff member would be claiming that the "illegal" act was a violation of L. Ron Hubbard's holy scripture. That is commonly referred to as an "illegal" act due to the unfortunate effort of naive Scientologists to MIMIC their Founder & Source Dr. Hubbard. Hubbard, as you well know, was fond of hysterical hyperbole and labeling non-events with such whoppers as "CRIME" and "HIGH CRIME". Scientologists are rhapsodically impressed with such gravitas endowed verbiage! LOL. ​

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Reyne said:

"...also always struck by the palpable outrage of such such statements, and profound violation of a sense of fairness. as an uninitiated outsider, it seems to me that scientology is clearly run according to Hubbard's Law of Commotion."​

COMMENT: That's an interesting observation. Perhaps Scientologists have a hair-trigger reaction to perceived injustices, which they always attribute to someone not applying the policies standardly. Alas, the sheer indignity of having to suffer at the hands of out-KSW squirrels! That's "policy". However, on the "tech" side of Scientology the identical dramatization occurs when the tech fails to work. There is outrage followed by armed bounty hunters with tracking dogs searching for the culprit who didn't apply the auditing tech correctly. It's always the fault of some SP who is sabotaging Ron's 100% standard technology that works 100% of the time. It's remarkable how many times this little passion play takes the stage in daily Scientology life. The actors dutifully recite their lines and recount with horror how Ron's tech was crucified by evil mortals who knew not that they were closing the gates of heaven for all mankind. ​

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Scientology. It's perfect! It transforms humans into Gods! Too bad humans have to keep screwing it up.


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[HelluvaHoax!]

my understanding is that in India they are much more suspicious of gurus, and on to their tricks and scams, due to their long historical and cultural experience, and sometimes will even run them out of town -- though some still have followings of millions in that (very large) country.

one of the reason that gurus came to the West in the last century, is that we didn't have that sort of acquired immunity, and it was much more fertile ground than back at home. i'll give a few credit for bringing worthwhile traditions like Yoga to the West, but all too many fell into the guru trap category.

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Interesting! I once did a research project on persons claiming the ability to produce/manifest a "miracle" and read ungodly amounts plus watched entirely fascinating exposes of the many traditional and new-fangled superhuman feats by the "GODMEN OF INDIA" (see book of same title) . The magic powers industry is expansive and reaches into the small and remote villages where people are more than amazed. And India has its own "AMAZING RANDI" debunker and it is incredibly entertaining to watch him debunk these Man-Gods!

It's estimated that there are about 10M "HOLY MEN" in India. One of the reasons offered why it has proliferated is that many have (via the internet) gained followers, fans and donors worldwide. YouTube abounds with videos of staged 'miracles" and also their debunking—and the parallels to Scientology are stunning.

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[HelluvaHoax!]

A

a new feature on the stupid thread

"BACK IN THE EARLY DAYS WHEN
DIANETICS HANDLED EVERYTHING!"
- - -

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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THIS ONE IS HALL OF FAME STUPID BEYOND ALL IMAGINATION. . .

Wait, what was their offer?!

"IF BATTLE CREEK RAISES 10 STATUSES OF ALUMNI OR
ABOVE, BY THIS THURSDAY 3 FEB, KEN AND AARADONA WILL
GIFT A FULL HUMANITARIAN TO BATTLE CREEK!!!!!!!!!!"

So, if Battle Creek does not raise 10 statuses (sell a certain dollar
amount of status words typed on paper certs) Ken and Aaradona
will NOT donate the money they have already set aside
to Clear the planet and save mankind?!

Wait, how does that work exactly?!

If they don't donate the money that they want to donate
to Scientology (due to others being DBs who don't sell
enough statuses) Ken and Aaradona keep he money
and use it for something other than saving the world
from certain doom, destruction and death?! They'll
use that money to buy a 2nd yacht or something?

Wait, so Ken and Aaradona are quite happy to
destroy all beings for the rest of eternity because
their fellow Scientologists sold only 9 new statuses
instead of selling 10 new statuses? Because they are
willing to commit intergalactic genocide simply because
some of the salesmen missed reaching their quota?

ANSWER: Ken and Aaradona are manipulatively narcissistic shills
and any Scientologist who believes their impossibly lame sales gimmick is
is a very well trained, indoctrinated, obedient and credulous cult dupe.

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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THIS ONE IS HALL OF FAME STUPID BEYOND ALL IMAGINATION. . .

Wait, what was their offer?!

"IF BATTLE CREEK RAISES 10 STATUSES OF ALUMNI OR
ABOVE, BY THIS THURSDAY 3 FEB, KEN AND AARADONA WILL
GIFT A FULL HUMANITARIAN TO BATTLE CREEK!!!!!!!!!!"

So, if Battle Creek does not raise 10 statuses (sell a certain dollar
amount of status words typed on paper certs) Ken and Aaradona
will NOT donate the money they have already set aside
to Clear the planet and save mankind?!

Wait, how does that work exactly?!

If they don't donate the money that they want to donate
to Scientology (due to others being DBs who don't sell
enough statuses) Ken and Aaradona keep he money
and use it for something other than saving the world
from certain doom, destruction and death?! They'll
use that money to buy a 2nd yacht or something?

Wait, so Ken and Aaradona are quite happy to
destroy all beings for the rest of eternity because
their fellow Scientologists sold only 9 new statuses
instead of selling 10 new statuses? Because they are
willing to commit intergalactic genocide simply because
some of the salesmen missed reaching their quota?

ANSWER: Ken and Aaradona are manipulatively narcissistic shills
and any Scientologist who believes their impossibly lame sales gimmick is
is a very well trained, indoctrinated, obedient and credulous cult dupe.

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Afterthought. . .

Maybe that ransom demand in the post above explains the meaning of that cryptic line from HCO POLICY "Keeping Scientology Working":

"WE'D RATHER HAVE YOU DEAD THAN INCAPABLE"
OF RAISING MONEY FROM DEFRAUDED MARKS
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How come Scientologists don't demand to know what the money big shots are going to do with all that money if they are not donating it to the org. Just another obvious fraud being perpetrated by Scientologists on each other. Seriously, they are going to keep the money and let the universe and all beings in it be enslaved in eternal MEST hell? LOL.

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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