Karen#1
Well-known member
The old person is a woman according to Lori who shot the photo
TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)
- Thread starter HelluvaHoax!
- Start date
The Oracle
Not the same Oracle from a decade ago
What this says using the Scientology mindset is:
This old man is useless and non productive
unless he has money, it is time to
Off-load him to the streets without sorrow and declare him an SP for out PR.
He was an OT 8, L’s completion and did Super Powers upon the release.
Someone cull his folders and find his crimes.
exbritscino
A complete member........
The guy (or woman) on the right is either struggling to get down the steps, or they're part way through doing 'alternative practises', such as some kind of meditation. Either way, they're screwed.
The woman on the left is thinking 'I wish I could be screwed'....... (Though maybe not in the same context).
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
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POSSIBLE EXPLANATION
Since 1967, the now elderly woman has made 186 previous unsuccessful
attempts to escape the Sea Org, only to be blocked--or stalked, hunted
down, captured and brought back in a "blow drill". We are looking at
attempt #187 where she was only able to make it a few feet beyond
the Ideal Org's front door, whereupon she crazy-glued her hands to
the railing. Moments before that she traded her wristwatch
to a homeless person in exchange for calling 911 and
reporting both a medical emergency and a kidnapping.
Meanwhile, the black-haired exec is ordering her juniors
run at tone 40 speed before the ambulance and police
show up, and retrieve a hacksaw, so that the old
old lady's hands can be cut off at the wrist and
her MEST body can be standardly routed*
away before there is a PR flap.
* standardly routed: In this scenario, policy requires that she first be routed to the org's Medical Officer to get bandages and cal mag and r-factors to "calm down!" After that, she would be promptly returned to her letter reg post, where her computer keyboard would have already been replaced by a voice-recognition software, thus ensuring that her daily quota of "Letters Out" would not go downstat and sabotage mankind's only hope---Ron's Bridge To Total Freedom.
.
.
POSSIBLE EXPLANATION
Since 1967, the now elderly woman has made 186 previous unsuccessful
attempts to escape the Sea Org, only to be blocked--or stalked, hunted
down, captured and brought back in a "blow drill". We are looking at
attempt #187 where she was only able to make it a few feet beyond
the Ideal Org's front door, whereupon she crazy-glued her hands to
the railing. Moments before that she traded her wristwatch
to a homeless person in exchange for calling 911 and
reporting both a medical emergency and a kidnapping.
Meanwhile, the black-haired exec is ordering her juniors
run at tone 40 speed before the ambulance and police
show up, and retrieve a hacksaw, so that the old
old lady's hands can be cut off at the wrist and
her MEST body can be standardly routed*
away before there is a PR flap.
* standardly routed: In this scenario, policy requires that she first be routed to the org's Medical Officer to get bandages and cal mag and r-factors to "calm down!" After that, she would be promptly returned to her letter reg post, where her computer keyboard would have already been replaced by a voice-recognition software, thus ensuring that her daily quota of "Letters Out" would not go downstat and sabotage mankind's only hope---Ron's Bridge To Total Freedom.
.
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The Oracle
Not the same Oracle from a decade ago
Nah! She is thinking to herself:
This down stat guy is a liability. He is so out PR.
He is being total failure as a Scientologist.
I am writing up another KR on him.
He is obviously dramatising his “case”.
He is a DB and a dirty needle ethics particle.
Off with his head.
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
.
ANOTHER POSSIBLE EXPLANATION
The elderly staff member's GPS ankle security device
just alerted and gave her an electric shock in order to get her
attention units. She is now listening to a computerized voice message
from the device's small speaker, which announces: You are not authorized to
leave the Ideal Org at this time. Your 20-minute dinner break has been canceled
and you are ordered to immediately return to the org! This is an emergency
because Mr. Cruise has just completed his HSWWC* and all staff need to
be there to give him a 20 minute standing ovation. Do not speak to Mr.
Cruise at any time, however if Mr. Cruise addresses you, you are to flow tone 40
affinity to him and state: "Wow, Mr. Cruise, I was blown away by how Clear you
were able to make the glass pane look during your final practical exam! I have
never seen a window look that Clear on my entire wholetrack and it is the biggest
win I have ever had, greater than all my other Scientology wins combined!"
* HSWWC ("Hubbard Standard Window Washer's Course")ANOTHER POSSIBLE EXPLANATION
The elderly staff member's GPS ankle security device
just alerted and gave her an electric shock in order to get her
attention units. She is now listening to a computerized voice message
from the device's small speaker, which announces: You are not authorized to
leave the Ideal Org at this time. Your 20-minute dinner break has been canceled
and you are ordered to immediately return to the org! This is an emergency
because Mr. Cruise has just completed his HSWWC* and all staff need to
be there to give him a 20 minute standing ovation. Do not speak to Mr.
Cruise at any time, however if Mr. Cruise addresses you, you are to flow tone 40
affinity to him and state: "Wow, Mr. Cruise, I was blown away by how Clear you
were able to make the glass pane look during your final practical exam! I have
never seen a window look that Clear on my entire wholetrack and it is the biggest
win I have ever had, greater than all my other Scientology wins combined!"
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
.
Nominated for one of the SUPER-STUPIDEST MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY is every single time a Scientologist and/or an "Indie Scientologist" says, thinks or believes that the purpose of Scientology is:
They've got the solution, just ask them!
They've got the tech to erase any kind of criminal behavior or impulse ("evil purpose") from every being in the "world".
Naturally, to accomplish that they must audit 7.6 billion beings to the top of the "Bridge" just like the Church of Scientology's most elite OT leaders. They are leading the way to a world without criminality, by setting an example for all mankind to follow.
So then, let's identify in the past 70 years who are Scientology's super elite who have journeyed to the highest heights of OT-ness and Ethical-ness and Non-Criminality! Here are Scientology's 5 most advanced OTs who received the most auditing and also ascended to the very apex of the command channel:
Everyone now rise and gratefully give an extended standing and cheering ovation to those 5 criminal OTs (Operating Thugs) who are in charge of creating "a world without criminality".
It's Scientology, it doesn't have to make sense.
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Nominated for one of the SUPER-STUPIDEST MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY is every single time a Scientologist and/or an "Indie Scientologist" says, thinks or believes that the purpose of Scientology is:
"A WORLD WITHOUT CRIMINALITY"
They've got the solution, just ask them!
They've got the tech to erase any kind of criminal behavior or impulse ("evil purpose") from every being in the "world".
Naturally, to accomplish that they must audit 7.6 billion beings to the top of the "Bridge" just like the Church of Scientology's most elite OT leaders. They are leading the way to a world without criminality, by setting an example for all mankind to follow.
So then, let's identify in the past 70 years who are Scientology's super elite who have journeyed to the highest heights of OT-ness and Ethical-ness and Non-Criminality! Here are Scientology's 5 most advanced OTs who received the most auditing and also ascended to the very apex of the command channel:
SCIENTOLOGY'S TOP 5 MOST ETHICAL & NON-CRIMINAL
ELITE OPERATING THETANS AND INFALLIBLY INSPIRATIONAL LEADERS
ELITE OPERATING THETANS AND INFALLIBLY INSPIRATIONAL LEADERS
1. L. Ron Hubbard. The "Commodore": Career Criminal. Pathological liar, con man, violent sociopath who created "Fair Game" black ops thuggery/terrorism that is woven into the very fabric of all Scientology organizations (see Guardian's Office and OSA). Perpetrated a 36 year, billion dollar crime wave of fraud and attacks on victims worldwide. Had to literally go on the run and hide in order to avoid civil lawsuits and criminal prosecutions.
2. Mary Sue Hubbard. The "Guardian": Directed criminal operations and international networks. Amongst other reprehensible black op attacks on innocent victims, went to federal prison for perpetrating the single biggest espionage attacks against the United States government.
3. David Miscavige. The "COB": Career Criminal. Pathological liar, con man, violent sociopath who defrauded and terrorized innocent victims for the past 34 years. Developed Hubbard's billion dollar hoax into a multi-billion dollar organized crime syndicate with multi-faceted money rackets, crushing victims in dozens of countries.
4. Bill Robertson. The "Deputy Commodore" (2nd in command after Hubbard): Criminal and all-around lunatic with fully deranged delusional conspiracies and never-ending thuggery and hallucinations about intergalactic aliens who waging a trillion year war to conquer and enslave earth men.
5. Marty Rathbun. The "Inspector General of Ethics” (2nd in command after Miscavige): Criminal, pathological liar, thug and "fixer", charged with hiding Scientology's tsunami of crimes as well as destroying whistleblowers who tried to expose them.
Everyone now rise and gratefully give an extended standing and cheering ovation to those 5 criminal OTs (Operating Thugs) who are in charge of creating "a world without criminality".
It's Scientology, it doesn't have to make sense.
.
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
.
Putting Scientology in charge of creating "...a world without criminality" is like putting Adolph Hitler in charge of creating "a world without war".
Then he starts World War II and murders 60 million innocent people, remaining thoroughly convinced that if only people had just followed his orders and he had been allowed to expand his genocidal rampage, he would have successfully created a world without war.
Ask any Scientologist how it's going on creating "a world without criminality" and they will begin euphorically rattling off their hallucinatory wins for you.
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"A civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war,
where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where
Man is free to rise to greater heights, are the aims of Scientology."
- L.Ron Hubbard
"A civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war,
where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where
Man is free to rise to greater heights, are the aims of Scientology."
- L.Ron Hubbard
Putting Scientology in charge of creating "...a world without criminality" is like putting Adolph Hitler in charge of creating "a world without war".
Then he starts World War II and murders 60 million innocent people, remaining thoroughly convinced that if only people had just followed his orders and he had been allowed to expand his genocidal rampage, he would have successfully created a world without war.
Ask any Scientologist how it's going on creating "a world without criminality" and they will begin euphorically rattling off their hallucinatory wins for you.
.
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
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In a darkly paradoxical sense, if Hitler had actually been allowed to do what he wanted, he WOULD have actually achieved "a world without war". Because the entire world would have been enslaved to him and nobody on earth would have either the resources nor the will to fight anyone.
Similarly, if Hubbard had actually been allowed to do what he wanted, he WOULD have actually achieved "a world without criminality". Because all the laws around the world would have been changed and re-written so that thievery, robbery, fraud, kidnapping, false imprisonment, stalking, terrorism, violent assaults and murder would no longer be a criminal act. Thus, Scientologists would never be arrested and prosecuted and imprisoned for criminality---ergo, by default, there would be no criminals and we would have "a world without criminality".
Simple!
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In a darkly paradoxical sense, if Hitler had actually been allowed to do what he wanted, he WOULD have actually achieved "a world without war". Because the entire world would have been enslaved to him and nobody on earth would have either the resources nor the will to fight anyone.
Similarly, if Hubbard had actually been allowed to do what he wanted, he WOULD have actually achieved "a world without criminality". Because all the laws around the world would have been changed and re-written so that thievery, robbery, fraud, kidnapping, false imprisonment, stalking, terrorism, violent assaults and murder would no longer be a criminal act. Thus, Scientologists would never be arrested and prosecuted and imprisoned for criminality---ergo, by default, there would be no criminals and we would have "a world without criminality".
Simple!
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
.
Let's try it!
CURIOUS WOG
Hey, how is it going on helping Ron achieve his
dream of "A World Without Criminality"?
VVVGI'S* SCIENTOLOGIST
Unimaginable! Unbelievable! Unprecedented!
CURIOUS WOG
Really? Can you give me any examples?
VVVGI'S SCIENTOLOGIST
Sure, just this month TOTAL TRUTH Magazine
reported that our church's volunteer ministers
reduced crime in an entire country by 97.5%!!
CURIOUS WOG
What country was that?
VVVGI'S SCIENTOLOGIST
Rockslamistan.
CURIOUS WOG
LOL, that's not a country.
Your church is a bunch of
criminals lying to you.
VVVGI'S SCIENTOLOGIST
No, it's totally true. I read it
in TOTAL TRUTH magazine!
* VVVGI'S: Scientology abbreviation for "Very Very Very Good Indicators". To get a concept of what that looks like, imagine a cult member attempting to portray happiness by grinning so wildly that their face is seconds away from exploding. Hey, how is it going on helping Ron achieve his
dream of "A World Without Criminality"?
VVVGI'S* SCIENTOLOGIST
Unimaginable! Unbelievable! Unprecedented!
CURIOUS WOG
Really? Can you give me any examples?
VVVGI'S SCIENTOLOGIST
Sure, just this month TOTAL TRUTH Magazine
reported that our church's volunteer ministers
reduced crime in an entire country by 97.5%!!
CURIOUS WOG
What country was that?
VVVGI'S SCIENTOLOGIST
Rockslamistan.
CURIOUS WOG
LOL, that's not a country.
Your church is a bunch of
criminals lying to you.
VVVGI'S SCIENTOLOGIST
No, it's totally true. I read it
in TOTAL TRUTH magazine!
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
An old goodie that Tony Ortega posted while back.
It makes for Sunday Funnies.
I know that HH can take it seriously......
View attachment 6325
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I looked into that e-bay listing because it seemed like a deal that was too good to be true! My research concluded that amongst the 28,426 items, it includes:
Statistics
Recorded Lectures: 8,349; netting 2,333 titles
Written Issues: 57,862 pages of mimeographed HCO Bulletins, Policy Letters,
and other issues in their original form; netting 14,574 titles
Books and Other Publications: 1,467
Packs: 886
Checksheets: 739
Periodicals: 3,141
VALUE PROPOSITION: If the collection contains only one (1) priceless LRH stable datum that unlocks the mystery of the universe and gives one magical powers and immortality, the $3.5 million price tag (when amortized over eternity) costs less than one penny per quadrillion years, making it the most super-theta unprecedented bargain on this planet! .
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OK, I'll take that financing offer and pay a penny every quadrillion years for the collection.
HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
.
It's fascinating that in Scientology all the most able OTs (e.g. Hubbard, Miscavige, et al) just happen to be the most able liars--like this con man in the video below. Commodore! COB! Chan! They're all so very sure of things that happened billions of trillions of quadrillions of years ago!
The game of selling Scientology is all so terribly and cringefully dumb!
Chan is simply "duplicating Ron's successful actions". What wins the hearts and minds (and wallets) of Scientologists is the carefully practiced "sound of certainty" in his voice. That's what duped Scientologists are actually buying.
"hello dumbness, my old friend. . .
I've come to 2way com with you again
Because a guru surely creepy
Left his implant while I was sleeping
And the hoax that was implanted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sounds of certainty."
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It's fascinating that in Scientology all the most able OTs (e.g. Hubbard, Miscavige, et al) just happen to be the most able liars--like this con man in the video below. Commodore! COB! Chan! They're all so very sure of things that happened billions of trillions of quadrillions of years ago!
The game of selling Scientology is all so terribly and cringefully dumb!
Chan is simply "duplicating Ron's successful actions". What wins the hearts and minds (and wallets) of Scientologists is the carefully practiced "sound of certainty" in his voice. That's what duped Scientologists are actually buying.
"hello dumbness, my old friend. . .
I've come to 2way com with you again
Because a guru surely creepy
Left his implant while I was sleeping
And the hoax that was implanted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sounds of certainty."
.
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HelluvaHoax!
Well-known member
.
LOL
We should probably give that an honorary place on the all time super-stupid Hall of Fame.
Because. . .
LRH FACT: "What turns it on turns it off"
SCIENTIFIC FACT: "What turns it on turns it on"
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. cross posted from another thread. . .
LOL
We should probably give that an honorary place on the all time super-stupid Hall of Fame.
Because. . .
LRH FACT: "What turns it on turns it off"
SCIENTIFIC FACT: "What turns it on turns it on"
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Dotey OT
Re-Membered
Wait until you take the red pill!!
Dotey OT
Re-Membered
It's funny, isn't it?
It was used in regging as well. It was the excuse for continued regging.
I think in the case of my interest in scamatology, I am unsure that actual scamatology is what "turned me on" to scamatology. It was other people saying that it was great.
So there actually is another, and I paraphrase:
A philosopher wrote a philosophy. People find that it works. People tell others.
I now have to go take a long, hot shower to rinse this off.
D
Deleted member 51
Guest
Speaking of psychedelics, here's a little tidbit on the lighter side...the story of Timothy Leary.Timothy Leary, the Harvard professor who discovered LSD, was arrested and imprisoned by order of President Nixon, who was trying to contain the psychedelic and drug surge in the USA and thought this would help. He actually went through a whole ordeal to break out of prison with the assistance of a student group, only to be re-arrested. Prison Break of Timothy Leary | The Weather Underground.
He was eventually pardoned by Governor Jerry Brown.
That's all interesting enough, but here's where Scientology comes in. Guess who (probably) developed that "Oxford Capacity Analysis" (OCA) that the cult of Scientology uses and that Oxford denies was ever one of their tests?
Yup, the OCA was probably developed by the king of LSD, the (former) Harvard Professor, Timothy Leary.
He was the man who came up with those common personality tests in use at the time, only to cheat on his own tests when the prison gave them to him! "But Leary had other plans. With assistance from the Brotherhood, he concocted a plan to escape the California Men’s Colony Prison in San Luis Obispo.
Thanks to his previous work creating personality tests, he was able to game the answers to the psychological tests given to him during his prison intake in order to get assigned to do outdoor work at the prison."
Timothy Leary - Wikipedia
For those far left Liberals who are fans, you should know that Timothy Leary claimed LSD would turn lesbians into heterosexuals.