TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

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posted by freethinker
I like to call it "stretch to fit policy". Words are added or deleted depending on the situation to accommodate the policy enforcer.
Like the one about "outflow equals inflow", No one has ever produced the policy that says that but it was a number one policy in Boston.


posted by Type4_PTS
I thought that that was in one of the policies about writing letters to central files? Maybe we can ask Billy about that.

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I sent your technical query uplines to Billy Blowdown and just received his on-source, super-theta answer:


posted by Billy Blowdown​
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In Ron's HCO Policy Letter of 6 July 1959 entitled "OUTFLOW", Ron states: "Outflow is holier, more moral, more remunerative and more effective than inflow."​
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Although it is not the precise verbatim quote you asked about----it proves the self-evident axiom that "outflow = inflow"--- because you did not outflow your question to enough people to inflow the answer. ​
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Personally, I have recently had an unprecedented win on applying "outflow = inflow" that I'd like to share. I wrote checks for all the money I had in my business and personal bank accounts the the WAY TO HAPPINESS program. Although now I am unable to pay rent, car payment and other monthly bills---I am totally blown away that there is about to be a huge inflow on my financial lines! ​
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In addition to that miraculous win, I also can't stop line charging because once we reach our goal of outflowing 1 million Way To Happiness pamphlets in Columbia, it will get rid of all the drug cartels! Because LRH says right in there to not do drugs or do anything illegal, so when the drug Lords read that, they will cognite and stop committing overts. Naturally they will want to flow power to Ron, so we we will be inflowing their billions of dollars---again proving outflow = inflow. ​
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It's all so simple if we just follow Ron's advice and send our outflow particles uplines where the OTs are who are saving our eternities! ​
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freethinker said:
The other one was "You're giving me a problem" that was derived from the "Never, never, never let a junior give you a problem". However, when you read the policy it continues with "always investigate first". However Seniors used to chop that part off and get to the heart of their matter which was you were making them look bad and they didn't have a solution so you were the problem by exposing that.
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That reminds me of something that happened at AOLA. A few years after I had joined the S.O. my shoes had worn out. We got "uniforms" but only had the shoes we came with. I kept submitting requests to FP for new shoes and they kept rejecting them. Week after week. Month after Month. I finally realized, while I couldn't afford new shoes on S.O. pay, I could afford getting them re-soled. But I only had one pair of shoes.

One week, I finally realized, with all the holes in the soles of my shoes, I was practically walking barefoot anyway, so I dropped my shoes off at the shoe repair shop and went barefoot for a couple of days.

And what did my boss say? "You are trying to make me wrong!!" :roflmao:
 
freethinker said:
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The other one was "You're giving me a problem" that was derived from the "Never, never, never let a junior give you a problem".
Click to expand...
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Yes, there is no end to the utter madness from those who have "attained" the "advanced state" of OT! Operating Tyranny.

In Hubbard's voluminous policies on Crimes, High Crimes, Misdemeanors & Suppressive Acts there is a perfected one-size-fits-all way to find anyone guilty of anything--- so they can be demoted, slammed, RFPed, Declared SP and/or Fair Gamed. Because they were caught and found guilty of:

"Committing a Problem" *
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It is axiomatic in the cult of Scientology that all downstats, flaps and problems are always caused by DBs & SPs lower on the command channel. A corollary to that axiom is that persons higher on the command channel can only be found guilty of one minor misdemeanor:

Wearing so many hats in the heroic effort to save the planet that they did not have
sufficient time to detect that a junior was covertly false reporting, no-reporting and
suppressing/sabotaging the only hope of mankind to escape this slave planet.

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Naturally, being higher on the command channel, they are a super-upstat (or they would not have been promoted to those altitudinous heights! Accordingly, they are afforded "ethics protection" and no action is necessary for their little infraction of failing to detect an evil junior who crashed the stats and momentarily attempted (but failed) to throw a suppressive shadow on their shining stellar status.

CONCLUSION: When Scientology commands and demands to know "What are your crimes?!" you don't need to answer. Because even before you answer, they are already very happily manufacturing your crimes for you.



* [just in case anyone thought "committing a problem" was parody or hyperbolic satire]
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"The group were subjected to a Committee of Evidence: a Scientology trial, where the Committee act as prosecutors, judges and jury rolled into one. They were charged with thirty-six offenses, ranging from somehow employing Scientology to receive sexual favors to being in the pay of the enemies of Scientology. David Mayo was found guilty of "committing" a problem. The Findings and Recommendations of the Committee came to a total of over ninety pages. The major thread of the Findings was the purported plot to overthrow the CMO. It was asserted that Deputy Executive Director International Allen Buchanan, one of the defendants, had been "brainwashed" by former ED Int, Bill Franks. Franks had brought Buchanan to believe that he must protect the Church from senior management. There were very few specifics amongst the bombast. . . "​
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THE TWO RULES OF HAPPY LIVING NOT GETTING DECLARED WHILST BEING A SCIENTOLOGIST:

1. Never doubt that anything originated from Scientology's elite OTs uplines is sacredly spiritual salvaging.​
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2. Never doubt that anything originated from downlines Scientologists is sacrilegiously suppressive sabotage.​


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From the top 10 list of Scientology's INANELY IDIOTIC IDIOMS comes this contender for the cherished #1 spot:

"ON THIS PLANET"​

All Scientologists, from source to slaves, continuously populate their sentences with this phrase, because it alchemically transforms base blather into golden glowing gravitas.

example:​
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BEFORE: "If my stats are up and I get liberty this week and we get paid, I am going to go out and spend my entire paycheck on the biggest burger within walking distance from the org."​
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AFTER: "If my stats are up and I get liberty this week and we get paid, I am going to go out and spend my entire paycheck on the biggest burger on this planet."​
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PRO TIP: The latter confirms that the being's havingness, responsibility and reach is huge and it likewise showcases that there is a considerable amount of scientific research necessary, much like Dr. Hubbard performs on behalf of mankind, on this planet.
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DIVINE DOUBLE-DESCRIPTIVES: This OT (oratorial technology) is only available to upper-level advanced OTs who have the rank to use two (2) gravitas-inducing phrases in the same sentence.

BEFORE

SCIENTOLOGIST
Didn't I see you Friday night at the opening
of the new Tom Cruise movie?

OTTO THE OT
Yes!

SCIENTOLOGIST
Who was that being you were with
who had the super fat and ugly meat body?

OTTO THE OT
That was my 2D.

SCIENTOLOGIST
(thinks: "Whoa whatta low-havingness DB Otto is!")

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AFTER

SCIENTOLOGIST
Didn't I see you Friday night at the opening
of the new Tom Cruise movie?

OTTO THE OT
Yes!

SCIENTOLOGIST
Who was that being you were with
who had the super fat and ugly meat body?

OTTO THE OT
That was my this lifetime 2D on this planet.

SCIENTOLOGIST
(thinks: "Whoa, whatta high-havingness upstat OT Otto is to have
hot 2Ds on the wholetrack and in PT on other planets!" )

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cleared cannibal said:
Notice the date. No time to waste. If your child was born when he wrote this they would be 55 now .

Also it was ok to have an open mind?

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I wanted to post that priceless image again in case anyone missed the link you included.







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GURUTECH MARKETING TIP: When DBs on this planet are not able enough to make it go right to flow power uplines, encourage them in a theta way with inspirational advice like: "You got a nice kid there---it'd be a shame if anything happened to him. So, pay or the kid dies!"

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HelluvaHoax! said:
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I wanted to post that priceless image again in case anyone missed the link you included.







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GURUTECH MARKETING TIP: When DBs on this planet are not able enough to make it go right to flow power uplines, encourage them in a theta way with inspirational advice like: "You got a nice kid there---it'd be a shame if anything happened to him. So, pay or the kid dies!"
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In that Scientology scripture LRH wrote
"We've got our sleeves rolled up for a 12 hour day and a sixty hour week"

That would be like a vacation for Sea Org members who tend to work 100+ hours a week! :duh:
 
guanoloco said:
Yeah...well...not only does A factually equal A but it also, then, equals A.
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You're just prejudice against the rest of the alphabet.
 
Let me explain that to you.
 
Flag vibrator instructions
flag-order-3433.jpg

:roflmao:
 
Churchill said:
So, just to make sure I understand this...the throwing money in the air thing is a form of bullbaiting that’s designed to desensitize the person to the idea of money being valuable. Money = Paper = Confetti is such an “OT cognition!”
And during that brief moment of being a “keyed-out OT theta Clear” doing this “process” how receptive does a Scientologist become to the suggestion of writing a big check? After all, a check is just a piece of paper, right?
Whaddaya think? Am I close?
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Spot on, Churchill! :winner: It’s the same principle used in casinos, where the mark buys plastic chips so it doesn’t seem like real money is disappearing while they play.
 
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FREE FACTS ABOUT
Scientology's Free Stress Test

2600032918_e2a605a1bf_m.jpg

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1. Nothing in Scientology is ever free. In bait-and-switch marketing the bait is not free any more than a fish can dine for free on the apparently "free" food attached to a fisherman's hook.

2. The answer to the "free test" for everyone in the world who takes it is always the same. "You have stress!" Likewise, it's the same answer for everyone who has ever taken the free personality test--"You have a bad personality!"

3. The people administering the stress test are profoundly more stressed out than the people taking it. Staff members are physically exhausted from 100-plus-hour work weeks & sleep deprivation, undernourished from horrible diets/coffee/cigarettes, impoverished from slave wages and mercilessly "invalidated" and "introverted" from tyrannical bosses who threaten their "eternity" for not "making it go right" to flood new marks and millions into the cult in order to rapidly "clear the planet".

4. Scientology has no remedy for stress. In fact, Scientology's purpose is to "ruin" your life (see Dissemination Drill) by caving you in to the point you are hopelessly desperate enough to believe a mentally ill con man in a naval costume has discovered not only the cure for your "ruin" but a fast and easy way to give you magical miracle powers to have everything you ever dreamed of.

5. People leaving Scientology are profoundly more stressed out than the day they got in. Most often when Scientologists escape the cult they are broke/bankrupt and cut off (disconnected) from all their friends, family and financial resources (jobs, business, clients, et al). Often the ex-Scientologist is also smeared, attacked, stalked, tricked, libeled, slandered, accused of crimes, framed with the intent of falsely being arrested/imprisoned, stalked, professionally ruined and/or terrorized by an endless stream of Fair Game "black ops" designed to "utterly ruin" them.

CONCLUSION: Scientology IS and CAUSES the dreaded reactive mind "stress" that they purport to erase.

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HelluvaHoax! said:
I WENT TO TEEGEACK AND ALL I GOT
WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT I-SHIRT
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E-Shirt: Impediment Shirt
Click to expand...

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Oh hell no! Evil transcriptionists sabotaged my post! That was supposed to be:​
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I-Shirt: Impediment Shirt​

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...and...yeah...wasn't this Xenu guy just doing Standard Tech where he "disposes without sorrow"?

...I mean aren't criminals, perverts and artists pretty much all below 2.0?

...I thought all thetans were below Body Death anyway? Isn't it the '65 Tone Scale that claims 0.0 Being a Body or something like that?

...isn't it a Suppressive Act to pronounce someone guilty for practicing Standard Tech?

What gives here?
 
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