TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

.
No, seriously, Scientology is not a cult!



Hey, just because we believe that throwing money in the air
will magically make other people give us all their money. . .

Hey, just because we are celebrating our guru's "birthday game"
which our center "won" by giving him him the most amount of money. . .

Hey, just because we are celebrating the birthday of a dead, mentally ill
con man who made us applaud wall photos of him in a fake naval costume. . .

Yeah, like I said, all this is certainly NOT cult behavior!
We are obviously following proven scientific principles!

.

.​

NOTE TO THE NEVER-INS: Throwing money wildly in the air is part of Scientology's "technology". It is a methodology to increase the flow of money to oneself or one's organization. It's the cult version of a "rain dance". Scientologists believe that their "havingness" (ability to "have" or obtain money) is scientifically remedied by throwing around paper currency. What they believe is that cult parishioners in other parts of the world will respond to this religious ritual by donating their money to the cult. While it sounds preposterous, this is considered to be "the modern science of mental health" (see cover of Dianetics, below). Scientologists also are quite certain that people who don't believe in throwing money in the air (to gain more money) are "mentally ill" or an anti-social personality. Anti-social personalities are people who do not believe in Scientology. Examples given by the cult founder (Hubbard) of anti-Social-Personalities are various mass murderers, serial killers and Hitler. If you don't believe in Hubbards money throwing technology, therefore, you are just like Hitler.

It's science. It's mental health.
Sure, Ron, we believe you.

.



​

 

[Pseudonym]

 

[PirateAndBum]

.
No, seriously, Scientology is not a cult!

View attachment 317

Hey, just because we believe that throwing money in the air
will magically make other people give us all their money. . .

Hey, just because we are celebrating our guru's "birthday game"
which our center "won" by giving him him the most amount of money. . .

Hey, just because we are celebrating the birthday of a dead, mentally ill
con man who made us applaud wall photos of him in a fake naval costume. . .

Yeah, like I said, all this is certainly NOT cult behavior!
We are obviously following proven scientific principles!

.

.​

NOTE TO THE NEVER-INS: Throwing money wildly in the air is part of Scientology's "technology". It is a methodology to increase the flow of money to oneself or one's organization. It's the cult version of a "rain dance". Scientologists believe that their "havingness" (ability to "have" or obtain money) is scientifically remedied by throwing around paper currency. What they believe is that cult parishioners in other parts of the world will respond to this religious ritual by donating their money to the cult. While it sounds preposterous, this is considered to be "the modern science of mental health" (see cover of Dianetics, below). Scientologists also are quite certain that people who don't believe in throwing money in the air (to gain more money) are "mentally ill" or an anti-social personality. Anti-social personalities are people who do not believe in Scientology. Examples given by the cult founder (Hubbard) of anti-Social-Personalities are various mass murderers, serial killers and Hitler. If you don't believe in Hubbards money throwing technology, therefore, you are just like Hitler.

View attachment 321

It's science. It's mental health.
Sure, Ron, we believe you.

.



​

I just love the girl in blue. FYI, she had just been routed to see the registrar...

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

I just love the girl in blue. FYI, she had just been routed to see the registrar...

.
LOL

I heard an alternate explanation for the "girl in blue's" reaction. . .

GIRL IN BLUE WAS RECRUITED FOR THE PR PHOTO OP AND PROMPTLY
ROUTED TO QUAL TO DO A MINI HAT ON HOW TO APPEAR SUPER UPTONE!
MOMENTS BEFORE THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN, SHE PASSED THE
FINAL ITEM ON HER CHECKSHEET- - -A CLAY DEMO OF
HOW RON'S TECH WILL MAKE A BEING FEEL
ELATED & ELECTRIFIED!



SLIGHT PROBLEM
She had an MU on looking electrified and did a clay
demo instead on how it looks to be electrocuted.


.

​

 

[PirateAndBum]

It's simpler than that actually. She had excused herself to go to the restroom and when she returned she found that the registrar and assistants had gone through her purse found her wallet and removed the cash and were so happy to have found it that they were throwing it in the air with the insouciance Ron taught them to display the true Joy of Creating (up statistics) Blue jacket's next stop was the MAA for being so CI and not "with the program".

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Cross-posted from another thread linked at:
"AUDITING EFFECTIVENESS....DOES IT REALLY WORK?"

A real Q&A that really took place with real questions and real apostasy.

- - - -​

.
1. Does it really work or is it just a hoax? If it works, are the results permanent?
ANSWER: Approximately 98% of the people who tried Scientology since 1950 abandoned it because it miserably failed to produce any of the results that were sold. Hubbard's "technology" should not be inferred to have "worked" on the other 2%. That's simply due to the fact that a small percentage of people have learning disabilities.

2. How long does it normally take for a PC to become clear?
ANSWER: If anyone ever goes clear we'll be delighted to report back to you on that.

3. Do they start with self-analysis before starting the actual auditing sessions? How long do the self-analysis sessions last?
ANSWER: Self-analysis has never been part of the "Bridge To Total Freedom" that Hubbard sold to credulous marks, because it produces no more "spiritual gain" than calling up an old friend and reminiscing. Wogs already know how to do that without paying Hubbard's cult $600,000, simply by beginning a sentence with these five (5) words: "Remember the time when.....?"

4. Could you just sign-up for auditing sessions as a form of therapy or do they force you to join the church of scientology at some point?
ANSWER: They force you to join the Church of Scientology. They also force you to sign contracts attesting that you joined the Church of Scientology of your own free will.

5. From what i have seen, they ask you to re-experience your traumatic memories (engrams) over and over again. Does it make you feel annoyed at some point?
ANSWER: Yes, you get extremely annoyed. However Scientology has a remedy for that too. They keep giving you new "tech estimates" of how many hours you need to buy, until the Scientologist's "attention units" are no longer forcing them to articulate these annoyances to others (or themselves).

6. They ask for very detailed descriptions of the incidents. What if someone experienced something so drastic earlier in their lives that they just dont feel comfortable explaining the incident in detail? Do they offer any alternative strategies for that?
ANSWER: Yes, the alternative stragegy is to ask the person if they want to attest to Clear, after which the PC no longer has to explain incidents in detail to others--due to the fact that the upper levels are audited solo---and there's no one else in the session.

7. Do they follow any client confidentiality policy in their code of ethics?
ANSWER: Absolutely! There is a strict client confidentiality policy! The only exception of this inviolably sacred policy is in the rare event that a Scientologist does not follow orders or in the case that Scientology management doesn't feel like following the policy that day.

8. An auditing session looks quite similar to abreaction therapy in general psychology. What makes it different from classical psychotherapy?
ANSWER: Yes, an auditing session looks similar to that. It also looks similar to a lot of other things, such as philosophy, religion, science, cult con games, Gypsy psychic advisors, charlatanism & quackery.

.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Hey, who took down the trees?
View attachment 297​

ANSWER: The Founder ordered the trees to be removed.

EXPLANATION: Pursuant to the Gross Income statistic not going steeply upward every single week, an extensive data-series evaluation was undertaken to determine the WHY and the WHO, that was suppressing the amount of money being sent uplines. Dr. Hubbard undertook a compreheisive wholetrack research project during which he discovered that the trees were identical to "Christmas Trees" which in turn restimulated 813 trillion year old Christ implants. This naturally resulted in staff members not taking responsibility--but instead hoping and praying that Jesus would return and save them from hell, the RPF and other ethics gradients for downstats.

CULT CURIOSITY: Years after removing the stat-crashing trees some of the confidential research materials came into the public domain, such as the revelation: "The man on the cross---there was no Christ...." Yet, despite this scientific proof that Christ was an implant, Dr. Hubbard ordered that brightly lit Christmas trees be used on Hollywood Boulevard each year to attract wogs into joining Scientology.

When asked why he would use aggressively restimulative & suppressive implant material to control and trick wogs, Hubbard laughed and said: "Duhhhhhhhhh. Money? Hellooooooooo!"

.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

Another HALL OF FAME STUPID MOMENT in Scientology. . .​

Every single moment for the past 68 years when a Scientologist claimed that Scientology and Christianity are "totally compatible".

In recent years, multiple celebrity Scientologists went out of their way to publicy assert that they are both a Scientologist AND a Christian.

And they add with a blinkless dedicated grin: "And we joyfully celebrate the birthh of Jesus and Christmas every year!"

They celebrate an implant that destroyed and enslaved all beings in the universe, right?

Besides "The man on the cross....there was no Christ!" (see Scientology Doctrine here) what else did Hubbard state on the record?

From the audiotaped series known as PHILADELPHIA DOCTORATE COURSE lecture #24:

"You'll find, by the way, another manifestation is preclears will shift identities and borrow fascimiles like mad. There's what they call 'The Christ Game' and that game has been played and played and played and play..., honest to Pete, these cards are just so thin, they've been laid down amongst the coffee cups, and so forth, of the whole universe. You'll find out thousands of years before the year 1 AD, Earth, you will have facsimilies and dolls made up like Christ. Fac One: a million years ago is occasionally rigged with Christ and the devil and an angel. 's a fascinating thing, it's an old game. Here on Earth, there was undoubtably a Christ. One of the reasons he was ... he swept in so suddenly ah, and he, he would go forward so hard, is he had a good assist back of him in terms of an implant."​

​

CONCLUSION: Dr. Hubbard conducted this amazing scientific research while he traveled the globe and even during the decade he lived aboard his own personal mega-yacht and discovered the miraculous state of Operating Thetan! When his findings were peer-reviewed by a panel of other scientific researchers, they concluded: "The man on the boat---there was no OT"

.

 

[Dotey OT]

You know, I just gotta say, and I have always wanted to say this from the moment that I first learned of it, that the name Xenu, or Xemu, whatever, TOTALLY sounds like the product of some english language speaking person's idea of an exotic space-man like name.

It's not even close.

I would like to think, that if I had been told early on, that my bridge would involve an alien with that name, I would have turned right around and walked. But I kind of did find out that, but didn't walk.

I mean, maybe I don't really know what any alien's name might be, granted. But I do know better than Xenu. I actually called bull shit to that name when I first heard it in a protest, and an OTVIII acknowledged that it was from upper level material. I saw that at a protest at Flag around 1997 or 1998. I was stunned that it was real, but went past that. Oops.

 

[freethinker]

.
No, seriously, Scientology is not a cult!

View attachment 317

Hey, just because we believe that throwing money in the air
will magically make other people give us all their money. . .

Hey, just because we are celebrating our guru's "birthday game"
which our center "won" by giving him him the most amount of money. . .

Hey, just because we are celebrating the birthday of a dead, mentally ill
con man who made us applaud wall photos of him in a fake naval costume. . .

Yeah, like I said, all this is certainly NOT cult behavior!
We are obviously following proven scientific principles!

.

.​

NOTE TO THE NEVER-INS: Throwing money wildly in the air is part of Scientology's "technology". It is a methodology to increase the flow of money to oneself or one's organization. It's the cult version of a "rain dance". Scientologists believe that their "havingness" (ability to "have" or obtain money) is scientifically remedied by throwing around paper currency. What they believe is that cult parishioners in other parts of the world will respond to this religious ritual by donating their money to the cult. While it sounds preposterous, this is considered to be "the modern science of mental health" (see cover of Dianetics, below). Scientologists also are quite certain that people who don't believe in throwing money in the air (to gain more money) are "mentally ill" or an anti-social personality. Anti-social personalities are people who do not believe in Scientology. Examples given by the cult founder (Hubbard) of anti-Social-Personalities are various mass murderers, serial killers and Hitler. If you don't believe in Hubbards money throwing technology, therefore, you are just like Hitler.

View attachment 321

It's science. It's mental health.
Sure, Ron, we believe you.

.



​

I remember initially being interested in the Money Tapes and the Money Course but after doing the above drill, all I got out of it was crinkled money I had to flatten out to get back in my wallet. The only thing I was happy about is I didn't lose any from the drill.

Throughout the drill I kept wondering what the fuck is supposed to happen here.

 

[Dotey OT]

I remember initially being interested in the Money Tapes and the Money Course but after doing the above drill, all I got out of it was crinkled money I had to flatten out to get back in my wallet. The only thing I was happy about is I didn't lose any from the drill.

Throughout the drill I kept wondering what the fuck is supposed to happen here.

I've seen it done by people, on staff or not, do it with up to $ 30,000.00 USD.

 

[freethinker]

I've seen it done by people, on staff or not, do it with up to $ 30,000.00 USD.

I'm really fucking glad I never dropped 30,000 at Flag. I would rather use it for TP.

 

[freethinker]

Here's one for you Hoaxie, the IRS will give taxpayers up to 50 per cent back on what they spend on auditing because they say they never received anything of value.

To think that registrars used this as a major selling point for getting auditing.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I remember initially being interested in the Money Tapes and the Money Course but after doing the above drill, all I got out of it was crinkled money I had to flatten out to get back in my wallet. The only thing I was happy about is I didn't lose any from the drill. Throughout the drill I kept wondering what the fuck is supposed to happen here.

ANSWER: If you ask a Scientologist they can clay demo for you how the MONEY DRILL works and why throwing money up in the air causes other people to give you vast sums of money. It would be so much fun to just ask a Scientologist to see what they say.

Oh wait! Wow! I just noticed a Scientologist in front of my house----going thru my garbage cans in order to find my crimes so they can fair game me and shudder me into silence! Let's go out and ask them. . .
..

CURBSIDE - MOMENTS LATER:

HELLUVAHOAX
Why, aren't you Billy Blowdown, the person I twinned with on the
HOW TO FLOURISH & PROSPER course? How's it going Billy?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Oh, Yeah, that was me. Yeah, so... it's going great, how have you been?

HELLUVAHOAX
Hey Billy, do you mind me asking? Why are you out here in front of my
house at 3am in the morning, digging thru my garbage cans?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I'm uhhh.....well.....it's just that.....you see, I'm into recycling
these days. Hey, Go Green! Let's save the planet, right?

HELLUVAHOAX
Sure Billy, I believe you. Hey, while you're here, I wanted to ask you a question
about when we did that money drill together. Can you explain to me how throwing
dollar bills up in the air causes other people to give you tons of money?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Sure. When you throw dollars in the air, you are "reaching and withdrawing" from
money, which increases your havingness on money. So naturaly if you
can have a lot of money you WILL have a lot of money. It's so so
simple to have money, anyone can do it!

HELLUVAHOAX
Hey Billy that sounds super amazing! So, I noticed that you have a bicycle here.
What happened to that killer 200,000 dolllar
Range Rover, Autobiography
edition you used have?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Yeah, I don't have that any more.

HELLUVAHOAX
I noticed. But why not?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Um, well that mest vehicle was routed
back to the finance company.

HELLUVAHOAX
Oh? You mean your car was reposessed for not making payments?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Absolutely not~

HELLUVAHOAX
Seriously? You mean they didn't repo the car from your
driveway while you were sleeping?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Hell no, I shed the encumbrance of the monthly payments
totally on my own determinism and at full cause--by driving
the car to the finance company and giving them the keys. ​

.

 

[freethinker]

ANSWER: If you ask a Scientologist they can clay demo for you how the MONEY DRILL works and why throwing money up in the air causes other people to give you vast sums of money. It would be so much fun to just ask a Scientologist to see what they say.

Oh wait! Wow! I just noticed a Scientologist in front of my house----going thru my garbage cans in order to find my crimes so they can fair game me and shudder me into silence! Let's go out and ask them. . .
..

CURBSIDE - MOMENTS LATER:

HELLUVAHOAX
Why, aren't you Billy Blowdown, the person I twinned with on the
HOW TO FLOURISH & PROSPER course? How's it going Billy?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Oh, Yeah, that was me. Yeah, so... it's going great, how have you been?

HELLUVAHOAX
Hey Billy, do you mind me asking? Why are you out here in front of my
house at 3am in the morning, digging thru my garbage cans?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I'm uhhh.....well.....it's just that.....you see, I'm into recycling
these days. Hey, Go Green! Let's save the planet, right?

HELLUVAHOAX
Sure Billy, I believe you. Hey, while you're here, I wanted to ask you a question
about when we did that money drill together. Can you explain to me how throwing
dollar bills up in the air causes other people to give you tons of money?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Sure. When you throw dollars in the air, you are "reaching and withdrawing" from
money, which increases your havingness on money. So naturaly if you
can have a lot of money you WILL have a lot of money. It's so so
simple to have money, anyone can do it!

HELLUVAHOAX
Hey Billy that sounds super amazing! So, I noticed that you have a bicycle here.
What happened to that killer 200,000 dolllar
Range Rover, Autobiography
edition you used have?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Yeah, I don't have that any more.

HELLUVAHOAX
I noticed. But why not?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Um, well that mest vehicle was routed
back to the finance company.

HELLUVAHOAX
Oh? You mean your car was reposessed for not making payments?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Absolutely not~

HELLUVAHOAX
Seriously? You mean they didn't repo the car from your
driveway while you were sleeping?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Hell no, I shed the encumbrance of the monthly payments
totally on my own determinism and at full cause--by driving
the car to the finance company and giving them the keys. ​

.

Yeah, I heard Billy ironed his money after the drill so he would be flat on it.

 

[Dotey OT]

THINGS ONE NEVER HEARS A SCIENTOLOGIST SAY:


"I just attested to Clear, the drinks are on me!!!"


"Hey, since I didn't like the OT levels, they just refunded my money!"


"I've got $ 10,000.00 in my savings account now!!!"


"Little Jimmy is dressing up as Xenu for Halloween this year, and he's going into the org to trick or treat, he's so cute!!"



Anyone else????????

 

[Churchill]

So, just to make sure I understand this...the throwing money in the air thing is a form of bullbaiting that’s designed to desensitize the person to the idea of money being valuable. Money = Paper = Confetti is such an “OT cognition!”
And during that brief moment of being a “keyed-out OT theta Clear” doing this “process” how receptive does a Scientologist become to the suggestion of writing a big check? After all, a check is just a piece of paper, right?
Whaddaya think? Am I close?

 

[Karen#1]

What Happened when I lent someone $5000 for Bridge services.

In the Cult of Scientology, Hubbard made up his own Laws. These are treated as biblical truths to be followed to the letter and are taken very seriously by the flock.

Many of these laws block and hinder even oppose the Laws of the land.

Example: You cannot sue another Scientologist ~ you can only get justice from the local Cult "chaplain." A person almost always completely untrained in law, mediation or justice and often a person who has failed in other jobs and dumped as "chaplain."

This Hubbard policy ~ You cannot sue another Scientologists takes away your civil rights to sue. Then your rights to sue another Scn'ist are taken away as well. You must use "internal ethics" i.e. chaplain, ethics officer or pay the cult more $$$$$ for WISE ARBITRATION. oh la la. "Wise Arbitration!" Yuk !

I recall when I lived up the hill in Los Feliz and rented a room, to a CC INT student who had stopped paying rent for some months. I believed in all their rules and regulations at the time that I could not start a Court eviction or serve her notice as it violated *policy*.

Finally after 6 months of no rent I called OSA INT and let them know I was going to evict her and use the courts. OSA INT did not say yay or nay and I took that to mean "go ahead." I took her to court, got her evicted and that was that. She recently tried to friend me on facebook ! LOL.

I recall lending $5000 to someone for their BRIDGE. I trusted they would repay the loan. Oh I am so much wiser now. Anyway, he did not pay back and told me to fuck off since I was now declared and the Ethics Officer told him I was Fair Game and he owed me NOTHING.

So I went to his dad, thinking a father usually tries to put in higher morality to a son to set a good example. The father was even worse. "How dare you call me for this debt ! My son is protected by the cherch, you are posting anti-cherch stuff and you can go burn in hell. Never call me again, Bitch !"

I let it go. The cult protects misconduct and rip off because Hubbard said to Fair Game an SP even destroy them.

When you enter a Brick and Mortar cult facility, the first thing you must do is sign away your civil rights to *NEVER* sue them and you handcuff yourself. You can only do mediation with handpicked committee...did you follow Luis Garcia's law suit and their internal mediation ?

Is this the reason the cult does not report to the local police child molesters. rapists., violent assaults ? Recent law suits rolling out (and there are several to follow after the first 3 already in the courts) ..recent law suits are revealing just how much cover up. It is smelly and odorous for the cult to admit they have criminals within, not the high ethical moral people they allege to produce...

Hubbard created his own Laws: Chilling statement:
"Somebody some day will say ‘this is illegal.’ By then be sure the ORGS (cult cherches) say what is legal or not."

- L. Ron Hubbard, Hubbard Communications Office Policy Letter, 4 January 1966, "LRH Relationship to Orgs"

Let's look at Nations and their policy......Cult of Scn creating the laws of the land....how is that working out ?

 

[Churchill]

”I have Yankees season tickets, so there’ll be times when I won’t be on course.”

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

What Happened when I lent someone $5000 for Bridge services.
In the Cult of Scientology, Hubbard made up his own Laws. These are treated as biblical truths to be followed to the letter and are taken very seriously by the flock. Many of these laws block and hinder even oppose the Laws of the land. Example: You cannot sue another Scientologist ~ you can only get justice from the local Cult "chaplain." A person almost always completely untrained in law, mediation or justice and often a person who has failed in other jobs and dumped as "chaplain." This Hubbard policy ~ You cannot sue another Scientologists takes away your civil rights to sue. . . . . (snipped for brevity)

.
MYTH: Scientology has and follows well-defined and uniformly applied "Justice Policies" that result in justice.

MYTH: Scientology has well-defined and uniformly applied "policies" of any kind.

One may dismiss the above as hyperbolically generalized and over-reaching criticism, but only in the absence of knowing one of Scientology's darkest and most ingeniously absurd secrets that rivals the greatest inventions in human history like the wheel, fire and other blindingly brilliant scientific discoveries such as Newton's Law of Motion.

To wit. . .

THE HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION
In Scientology, for each and every code, policy or piece of tech,
there is an equal and opposite code, policy and piece of tech.​

Scientologists are incapable of clay demoing this law. Because the cult has policy which clearly states the equal and opposite of the Hubbard Law of Commotion.

QUESTION: What policies, then, does the Church of Scientology follow?
ANSWER: Unwritten ones (exactly the opposite of the strict policy that explicitly states: "If it's not written it's not true.")

If 68 years of historical records are to be believed, it is very clear indeed which unwritten policies are the most senior in all of the theta theme park known as ScientologyWorld. In order of seniority. . .

#1: Always do what is the greatest good for the supreme leader of Scientology.​

​

#2: Always do what is the greatest good for the Church of Scientology's legal status.​

​

#3: Always do what is the greatest good for the Church of Scientology's financial status.​

​

#4: Always do what is the greatest good for the Church of Scientology's PR status.​

​

#5: Always do what is the greatest bad for anyone who in any way impedes, criticizes and/or exposes the above.​

​

#6: Always extract the greatest amount of money and time from parishioners before they blow, by giving them the greatest good gimmicks (including but not limited to giving them "wins", giving them amends projects, giving them tech estimates, giving them com evs, giving them non-enturbulation orders, giving them ruins to handle, giving them terroristic threats to cancel their "eternity" and/or giving them other fair treatment under the provisions of the Fair Game policies.)​

​

#7: Always do the greatest PR to try to lamely patch up the horrific public reactions to all of the above, by pretending the above unwritten policies do not exist. Instead, substitute the greatest "acceptable truths" (and other "Big Lies") about what Scientology's goals are, by using the "greatest adjectives" possible, such as "humanitarian", "spiritual" and "religious".​

​

.​