TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

~​

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posted by ILove2Lurk
Look at who sneaked into the IAS Event at Saint Hill this
past weekend and is doing the "photo bombing" thing with a
couple of the VIPs. What's going on with Don these days?!!!

.....Don poses with two OT 8 body routers that he is applying the Non-Existence formula with

---

On the 2nd day of the IAS event, Don was actually trespassed and escorted out.

I wondered what happened, so i phoned the IAS event's head of security and asked him: "Why did you give that homeless-looking guy the bum-rush and toss him out?!" He angrily barked back at me: "He was banging body routers 2 at a time! Donors couldn't get a calmag at the bar, what's wrong with you?!"

..

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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posted by Type4_PTS

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Richly hilarious!!!

That is a perfect capture of the absurdly pretentious gravitas of a costumed Sea Org member getting all up in the face of other people's business--and making that intrusive shit 1000 times worse by furiously scribbling a "report" on his CLIPBOARD!!!

.......the clipboard slays! lol lol lol !!!


..

 

[Type4_PTS]

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posted by Type4_PTS

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Richly hilarious!!!

That is a perfect capture of the absurdly pretentious gravitas of a costumed Sea Org member getting all up in the face of other people's business--and making that intrusive shit 1000 times worse by furiously scribbling a "report" on his CLIPBOARD!!!

.......the clipboard slays! lol lol lol !!!


..

Yeah, they can be quite intimidating with their clipboard.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

Ethics Presence!​

That black Sea Org uniform with the thick gold lanyard, sleeve-bearing rank stripes, visored captain's hat with the wholetrack galactic insignia and dense array of heroic battle ribbons- - it reminded me of something.

CONFESSION: Once upon a time I was temporarily stationed at an elite Scientology org and I committed a HIGH CRIME.

BACKGROUND: All staff were industriously attending their cleaning stations and I was instructed to clean certain windows. I didn't mind, because since the time I was in high school I always loved the times I got permission to use my dad's car--at which moment I would have the supreme pleasure of washing it and making the windows sparkling clear before going on a date or meeting up with friends. And I was damn good at window "clearing" on this planet!

THE EVENT: So, I got busy cleaning windows. It was going incredibly well. If this had been an Olympic event, my window cleaning would have definitely received either a gold or silver medal. That's when I looked up and saw the scowling face of the black uniformed senior officer rigidly glaring at me. They furiously demanded to know why (after washing) I was wiping the windows dry with a cloth. In fact, it wasn't just a "cloth" it was a super soft old abandoned cotton t-shirt that would not leave a trail of lint. So, like...what's the problem?

THE PROBLEM: The problem, I quickly learned, was that I was not using Ron's window cleaning technology. The Sea Org uniformed "Captain" was verbally and hatefully accosting me for not engaging "used newspapers" to dry the just-washed windows. Apparently this upper-level OT, Class VIII, Ron-Trained, planet-clearing dynamo was not a fan of my perfectly and sparkly-clear, lint-free windows.

THE OUTCOME: Despite this being the exact kind of High Crime that Ron warned about in the sacred scripture entitled "Keeping Scientology Working" I somehow avoided lower conditions, chain lockers and other Draconian torture. However, I did not avoid a nasty and fiery sermon about what I assumed to be some kind of serious High Crime. To wit, the kind of wholetrack-scale overt that was apparently and intentionally attempting to ruin the total-freedom technology and sabotage Ron's dream of a cleared planet.

END PHENOMENA: Thank God I was blessed enough to be given that "severe reality adjustment". Had it not been for the magnanimity and unconditional love of that senior officer—to take their valuable time to slam my ethics in, I don't know what would have become of me. Because, without that live-changing moment, I was already well on my way towards losing my eternity and ultimately being declared a Suppressive Person. My win infinitely expanded when I did my assigned study cycle and passed the clay demo on how Hitler was also an SP and that's when I cognited that Hitler also did not ensure that newly washed windows were dried with used newspapers.

..

 

[ILove2Lurk]

Look at who sneaked into the IAS Event at Saint Hill this past weekend . . .

~
How on earth did Don Hubbard get past security and escorted into the IAS event?

I found out from some of the protesters, who were on hand taking photos,
that Don arrived in a Rolls Royce sedan driven by a chauffeur. Obviously, he had
rented this service for the night. The OSA security at the gate saw him as an arriving
wealthy VIP and escorted him right inside, not knowing who he really was.
Sorta clever thinking on Don's part.



Only later, after Don had photo-bombed several actual high-rollers or "whales," was Don
forcibly removed from the event by outsourced OSA security thugs. Seems like Don could
not provide legitimate credentials or a sizeable donation cheque, as was expected from all.
C'est la vie.



Don then summoned his waiting car and driver and motored off to an elegant Michelin-starred
restaurant to enjoy a solitary meal. A place where he would not be noticed or judged by others.



¯\_(ツ)_/¯​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

~
How on earth did Don Hubbard get past security and escorted into the IAS event?

I found out from some of the protesters, who were on hand taking photos,
that Don arrived in a Rolls Royce sedan driven by a chauffeur. Obviously, he had
rented this service for the night. The OSA security at the gate saw him as an arriving
wealthy VIP and escorted him right inside, not knowing who he really was.
Sorta clever thinking on Don's part.

View attachment 30605

Only later, after Don had photo-bombed several actual high-rollers or "whales," was Don
forcibly removed from the event by outsourced OSA security thugs. Seems like Don could
not provide legitimate credentials or a sizeable donation cheque, as was expected from all.
C'est la vie.

View attachment 30606

Don then summoned his waiting car and driver and motored off to an elegant Michelin-starred
restaurant to enjoy a solitary meal. A place where he would not be noticed or judged by others.

View attachment 30607

¯\_(ツ)_/¯​

OMG, cannot believe you were able to retrieve those forbidden images!

An inside source told me that the 37 undercover OSA agents at that IAS event were going totally psycho, confiscating everyone's cameras and video recording devices in a frantic effort to prevent even one OUT PR photo/video to leak out onto the internet.

I don't know how in the world you were able to acquire those photos, but BRAVO!!!!!!!!!

An anonymous source managed to smuggle out one other photo (below) from that gala IAS ball. It was before security realized who Don was and bum-rushed him out. I guess Don was able to hoax celebrities, whales and patrons into believing that he too was a mega-whale celebrity—at least for a fleetingly glorious paparazzi moment!

.

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[Operating DB]

OMG, cannot believe you were able to retrieve those forbidden images!

An inside source told me that the 37 undercover OSA agents at that event were going totally psycho confiscating everyone's cameras and video recording devices in a frantic effort to not allow even one single OUT PR photo/video to leak out onto the internet.

I don't know how in the world you were able to acquire those, but BRAVO!!!!!!!!!

An anonymous source managed to smuggle out one other photo from that gala IAS ball. It was before security realized who Don was and bum-rushed him out. I guess Don was able to inspire celebrity and patrons' certainty that he too was a mega-whale celebrity—at least for a fleetingly glorious paparazzi moment!

.

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Pretty nice teeth for a hobo. Much better looking than Ron's teeth.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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originally posted by ILove2Lurk

What a lovely atmospheric vibe in that hidden surveillance photo of Don Hubbard eating alone. It
is reminiscent of an epic Francis Coppola film with the sepia tones of master cinematographer
Gordon Willis of the Godfather trilogy fame. It looks like a feature film that has momentarily
been "PAUSED". I have a strong urge to push the "PLAY" button and see what happens. . .
​

INT. ELEGANT NYC RESTAURANT - EVENING

A white-bearded hobo, looking out of place, quietly eats alone in the darkened amber tones of the candle-lit celebrated eatery. A well-dressed woman walks by his table and pauses. He slowly looks up. It's hard to judge her age but she is quite beautiful.

WOMAN
Excuse me, I am so sorry to disturb you, but I think I
recognize you. Aren't you the author Don Hubbard?
I am reading your book every day on the train
to and from work. I'm totally serious--
(reaches inside purse, pulls book out half-way)
This is so embarassing, can i ask you for your autograph?

DON HUBBARD
Okay, sure. Why not.

WOMAN
(hands him the book and a pen,
sweetly grins as he signs it)
Thank you soooo much! You are much too kind.
I'm sorry I interrupted you, your food's
probably getting cold, I better go. . .
(Don kindly blows a farewell kiss at her;
she hesitates several beats, doesn't go)
Um, I noticed you are eating alone,
do you want any company this evening?
I mean--I would be honored to join you...

DON HUBBARD
(gracefully gestures at the empty seat,
stands and pulls it out for her; they sit back down)
So tell me, how is it that an elegant and beautiful woman
such as yourself is alone tonight in this 5-star restaurant?

WOMAN
I could ask you the same. Well, it seems my date tonight
had a last minute emergency and had to cancel.

DON HUBBARD
Let me guess. First date?

WOMAN
(blushes, giggles)
Yes. Well, that's the dating scene in New York.
He's probably married anyways. C'est la vie!

DON HUBBARD
Well, I'm wouldn't worry. A stunning
and sophisticated woman like you will not
have any problems pulling in a super theta 2D.

WOMAN
Wait. Whatttt? What do you mean. What
is a thayduhtooty? What does that mean?

DON HUBBARD
(delightfully amused)
Oh, I think you know what it means.

WOMAN
No really what did you say?

DON HUBBARD
My dear, let's not pretend. That would spoil my meal.
Let's at least enjoy our one and only dinner together.
What can I order for you, my lovely companion?
(noticing she is flustered, not speaking)
So, how long have you been in Scientology?

WOMAN
How in the world did you know?

DON HUBBARD
Well, the first clues were that you were alone
and that you had my book with you and that
you wanted to meet me and sit down.

WOMAN
That's it? How would that tell you that I am a Scientologist?

DON HUBBARD
It didn't. But when you sat down I noticed you had a nice golden tan,
like you have been working outside on the Rehabilitation Project Force.

WOMAN
I don't get it. It's summer, a lot of of people go to the beach and have a tan.

DON HUBBARD
Yes, but you have a little tan outline from wearing a necklace and pendant.
I can see from your tan lines that you normally wear a cross.

WOMAN
A lot of people wear a cross.

DON HUBBARD
But your cross is not an ordinary cross...it must have
been a special cross and that created that rather easily
recognized tan line of the 8 point Scientology cross.
(she silently squirms)
And I wouldn't worry about your date blowing you
off. He's still outside in the parked car waiting for you,
after you finish up gathering intel on me for OSA.

WOMAN
OMG, how would you know all that? How would you even
know that my OSA handler is parked outside right now?

DON HUBBARD
That's a good question. I'll let you decide that. The answer is
either than I am exterior from my body looking at your OSA guy
in his car right now...or maybe I know because the staff members
of my HTC are out on the street right now doing security.

WOMAN
HTC?

DON HUBBARD
Hobo Technology Center



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​

 

[ILove2Lurk]

"This is so embarrassing, can i ask you for your autograph?"

~


​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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nominated for your consideration to
win first prize in the category of the most
RIDICULOUS RACKETEERING RUSE TO
RIP-OFF RUBES WITH RELIGIOUS RHETORIC


Here is how sane and honest people not in a cult communicate to their friends and associates:


"Enjoy your lunch in the dining hall. . . "


And here is how cults masquerading as a religion do it—

Sure Scientology, we like totally believe you are a religion--
now that you used the sacredly scriptural word "REFECTORY"​

And if you were part of a legitimate religion or self-help organization selling magical mental miracles, in the section marked "Throughout the Day Activities" you would proudly list demonstrations of OTs exteriorizing, automobiles levitating and "knocking off hats at 50 yards"- - - instead of "Falconry, Firebreathers and Stilt Walkers".

Firebreathers and Stilt Walkers! The comically corrupt con-game of creepy carnivals, crooks and conniving cults.
...

 

[ILove2Lurk]

~
"May I give you a lift to where you're
going? I have a car waiting outside."



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[HelluvaHoax!]

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posted by ILove2Lurk

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"May I give you a lift to where you're going? I have a car waiting outside."

---

​

They slowly walk up to the Rolls Royce. She stops and stares at the car a long time. Then she briefly studies the chauffeur holding the door open for her. Finally she turns her gaze to Don Hubbard.

WOMAN
Oh! Is this your car? I'm surprised. A
half-million dollar Rolls, Mister Hobo?

DON HUBBARD
My friends call me Don.

WOMAN
You're full of all kinds of surprises...Don.
​

After several beats of silence between them they both enter the spacious back seat. Neither is talking. Suddenly the silence
is broken by COMMOTION and LOUD BEEPING. She quickly looks backwards thru the rear window to see what happened.

​

CUT TO: BEHIND THE ROLLS - WE NOW SEE THE PARKED OSA CAR WITH THE OSA HANDLER INSIDE

​

The OSA Handler is madly BEEPING and YELLING at a half-dozen hobos with white beards and blue bucket hats--because they are all "Squeegee Men" performing unsolicited washing and wiping of the OSA car's windows, and demanding to be paid. The OSA car tries to jerk forward and backwards to exit the parking spot. But, it's hopelessly surrounded and cannot move out into traffic in order to follow the Rolls. The sound of all that swearing and yelling FADES as the Rolls glides forward, effortlessly disappearing into the midnight Manhattan traffic.


...

​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

.

BIGGEST PARADOXICALLY
BIGLIE OF THE 20TH CENTURY

"Work Makes You Free"


. . . . .


BIGGEST PARADOXICALLY
BIGLIE OF THE 21st CENTURY

"Bridge Makes Total Freedom"


​

* The iconic Arbeit macht frei ("Work makes you free") iron sign was erected in June of 1940 at the main entrance gate of the Auschwitz I concentration camp in German-occupied Poland. The gate and sign was built by the camp's slave labor victims. Approximately 1.1 million prisoners did in fact become "FREE" of the nightmarish concentration camp conditions— upon the Nazis murdering them.

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[guanoloco]

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BIGGEST PARADOXICALLY
BIGLIE OF THE 20TH CENTURY

"Work Makes You Free"


. . . . .


BIGGEST PARADOXICALLY
BIGLIE OF THE 21st CENTURY

"Bridge Makes Total Freedom"


​

* The iconic Arbeit macht frei ("Work makes you free") iron sign was erected in June of 1940 at the main entrance gate of the Auschwitz I concentration camp in German-occupied Poland. The gate and sign was built by the camp's slave labor prisoners. Approximately 1.1 million prisoners did in fact become "FREE" of the nightmarish concentration camp conditions— upon the Nazis murdering them.

..

Somehow, Total Freedom requires gulags, the hole, 24-hour surveillance, poisoned pets and Private Investigators.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

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BIGGEST PARADOXICALLY BIG LIE OF THE 21st CENTURY

"BRIDGE MAKES TOTAL FREEDOM"

---

MORE HALL OF FAME CULT
PARADOXICAL BIG LIES
​

Clears are extremely unclear about the special powers that ​

define the state of Clear, which quite obviously they do not have.​

​

Every Scientologist is fanatically dedicated to "going to the top of the ​

Bridge", never once noticing that there is no top to the Bridge. Inside​

the cult there are no exit doors. The courses and auditing levels and ​

and rundowns and training courses and donation challenges are endless.​

And none of the uppermost OT levels have ever been released in the entire ​

76 year span that Scientology has been selling those mythical dreams. ​

In summary, Scientology is a 1 million square foot CASINO with flashing ​

multi-million dollar jackpot" signs & lights flashing everywhere-- but nobody​

has ever won a jackpot even once since the casino first opened its doors. ​

​

All scientologists who have had some basic lower level auditing (up to Grade 0)​

claim to have "The ability to communicate to anyone on any subject". ​

However Scientologists are forbidden from communicating to each other about ​

whether they gained the most fundamental OT ability. . . to exteriorize from ​

ones physical body whilst maintaining full visualization. If they dare to talk ​

about their "case" or the "emporer's new clothes" (that nobody in Scientology​

has able to go exterior and demonstrate it since 1950) they will be routed ​

to "ethics" and threatened with a "non-enturbulation order" for nattering​

about the tech and "miraculous power" that everyone received but is not​

permitted demonstrate or talk about. ​

​

​

​

gotta run, i'll come back another time and​

list the other 75 million cult paradoxes. . .​

​

.​

​

. ​

 

[guanoloco]

..

---

BIGGEST PARADOXICALLY BIG LIE OF THE 21st CENTURY

"BRIDGE MAKES TOTAL FREEDOM"

---

MORE HALL OF FAME CULT
PARADOXICAL BIG LIES
​

Clears are extremely unclear about the special powers that ​

define the state of Clear, which quite obviously they do not have.​

​

Every Scientologist is fanatically dedicated to "going to the top of the ​

Bridge", never once noticing that there is no top to the Bridge. Inside​

the cult there are no exit doors. The courses and auditing levels and ​

and rundowns and training courses and donation challenges are endless.​

And none of the uppermost OT levels have ever been released in the entire ​

76 year span that Scientology has been selling those mythical dreams. ​

In summary, Scientology is a 1 million square foot CASINO with flashing ​

multi-million dollar jackpot" signs & lights flashing everywhere-- but nobody​

has ever won a jackpot even once since the casino first opened its doors. ​

​

All scientologists who have had some basic lower level auditing (up to Grade 0)​

claim to have "The ability to communicate to anyone on any subject". ​

However Scientologists are forbidden from communicating to each other about ​

whether they gained the most fundamental OT ability. . . to exteriorize from ​

ones physical body whilst maintaining full visualization. If they dare to talk ​

about their "case" or the "emporer's new clothes" (that nobody in Scientology​

has able to go exterior and demonstrate it since 1950) they will be routed ​

to "ethics" and threatened with a "non-enturbulation order" for nattering​

about the tech and "miraculous power" that everyone received but is not​

permitted demonstrate or talk about. ​

​

​

​

gotta run, i'll come back another time and​

list the other 75 million cult paradoxes. . .​

​

.​

​

​

​

. ​

Is there any actual auditor training going on now?

Last I heard there was none.

This is another paradox where the biggest SP squirrel by Scientology's own BPI policy, David Miscavige, remains undetected.

The guy who has altered tech, courses and closed churches, responsible for keeping the Xeno story secret and to wide open Bridge training access and boom Scientology.

He's still on post.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

This is another paradox where the biggest SP squirrel by Scientology's own BPI policy, David Miscavige, remains undetected.

The guy who has altered tech, courses and closed churches, responsible for keeping the Xeno story secret and to wide open Bridge training access and boom Scientology.

He's still on post.

LOL, exactly.

Scientologists spend their whole lives studying, learning about and HANDLING suppression; and disconnecting from as well as shattering SPs.

The entire crusade to "CLEAR THE PLANET" is nothing more than removing "suppression" from the planet.

Yet what a paradox...the biggest SPs on the planet are the twin gurus "DR" Hubbard and "MINISTER" Miscavige.

Nobody in the history of scientology was ever allowed to "cognite" or "disconnect" from the SP L. Ron Hubbard or the SP Minister Miscavige.

If you try to disconnect from either of the cults 2 gurus the cult forbids you from calling it disconnection. They prefer calling it "blowing".

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