TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

I have a confession. I've been thinking, for some time now, that one of the things that originally appealed to me about all of this was the oddity of it. Seeing something, then having to have someone explain it to me. That kept going on for some time. There was always something. It seemed intriguing. Different. Part of that somehow hooked me. When I see these pics, same thing occurs. Except I'm not hooked.

Do you know what I mean??

Back to the fun!!!!
 
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Nominated for the
DUMB DIANETIC DEMONSTRATIONS
Super-Stupid Hall of Fame


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CATEGORY: Scientology not only demonstrating that their tech doesn't work---but also scientifically proving their tech actually makes things far worse.​
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SITUATION: The Internet (on this planet) ​
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DATA: Beings (on this planet, on this internet) are being allowed to think & communicate whatever they want and Scientology's inalienable right to attack them, shatter them and shudder them into silence is being denied. Worse yet, criminals, SPs and evil beings are permitted to publicly ridicule Scientology by making accusations that they fanatically engage in sociopathic "Fair Game" and "Always Attack" policies. ​
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SCIENTOLOGY'S SOLUTION: Deploy trolls onto the internet where they very publicly and thuggishly Fair Game and Always Attack any critics who falsely accuse Scientology of thuggishly Fair Gaming/Attacking critics. ​
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WHAT SCIENTOLOGY EXPECTED TO HAPPEN: The defamatory DB Debunkers would derail, decline, desist and depart. ​

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: Cult contracted while SPs "flourished & prospered". This gave meteoric rise to The Golden Age of Joking & Degrading. Thus, line-charging (normally very good indicator!) went viral---but not by parishioners with a paid invoice. ​
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QUESTION: Why did Ron leave the planet without a hat writeup that provided Scientologists with the "tech" of how to handle the internet?

We now join an emergency meeting at Scientology's international headquarters, to address the dire emergency and existential threat that the internet poses to Scientology saving mankind:


COB
So, all of you elite management execs have betrayed both LRH and me by
allowing the internet to post all those entheta lies about our religion! I specifically
ORDERED you to come up with a solution to all this criminal online sociopathic SP shit!
So this is your last chance! Either you tell me right now how you are going to stop all
those psychotic internet critics or I am going to declare and offload every god-damned
one of you, and you can go out in the wog world and flip burgers for minimum wage!

ELITE EXEC #1
Yes sir. We have been working on this sir and we have come up with a solution sir.
Our research indicated that there is no feasible way to stop millions of individual
critics from posting from their own homes where they are unfortunately immune from
our fair gaming, overboarding, imprisoning, chain locker-ing & beatings.

ELITE EXEC #2
(now diagramming it on the white board)
You see, sir, we also discovered that LRH did in fact give us the tech to handle it by
"spotting the source of the problem and making it vanish", right out of the Grade
One technology!

COB
So cut to the fucking chase. WTF are you going to DO about it?!

ELITE EXEC #2
So, since we cannot go into millions of critics private homes and shatter them and
spin them in to their R6 bank, we simply handle the SOURCE of the problem. The
internet is the source. So we simply just get rid of the internet by turning it off.

COB
WTF?! How do we turn it off?

ELITE EXEC #1
We were not able to figure that part of it out yet, sir. Do you want us to
continue working on it or is your offer still good that we can get kicked
off the base and flip burgers for minimum wage?

COB
Are you fucking serious? You actually want to get offloaded?!


ELITE EXEC #1
Sir, yes sir. Getting offloaded means we don't have to try to
escape thru teams of security guards and barbed wire fencing
and blow drill teams of fanatics stalking us
around the country, no matter
where we try to hide.

COB
And you actually want to go do some degrading job for minimum wage?

ELITE EXEC #2
I know it sounds crazy, sir--but burger-flippers making minimum
wage is not just some pie in the sky! *

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* A average wog teen-aged dropout earns more in 8 hours ($100) flipping burgers than an average elite international management executive in the Sea Org makes in makes in 200 hours and 2 weeks of saving the planet. Yet the Sea Org members consider themselves the masters of "high havingness". In the bizarre theme park known as ScientologyWorld, a teen making a product (burgers) that people love for $9 per hour is considered "degraded"; while an (adult) Scientology staff member making a product that defrauds people and gets paid 25-30 cents an hour is considered "total cause" and a "super-upstat" and "flourishing & prospering".
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I have frequently written (on the old ESMB) about how Scientology is just a "New Slant On" the ages-old psychic advisor scam.

You know the one---where someone desperate to handle their "ruin" goes to a know-nothing charlatan who tells them they have "evil spirits" that only the psychic can get rid of.

This is Scientology. That's all it is.

No, Scientology is not science. It's not religion. It's not philosophy. It's a conniving cult conning credulous culties.

Evil spirit = "BT"​
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Negative force = "charge"​
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Go back in time to past lives to handle it = "wholetrack auditing"​
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Requires extra money = "new tech estimate"​
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Get the idea?​

If you want to see how hilariously obvious (and incredibly stupid) it is, watch the first 2 minutes and 15 seconds of this video:






FREE AFTER-VIDEO IQ TEST
(in order to determine if you qualify for applause,
a completion certificate and a shiny, statusy lapel pin)
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Which of the following professionals "requires extra money to remove the curse"?​
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1. Psychic Advisor​
2. Scientology Auditor​
3. Bankruptcy Atty (to remove the above curses)​
​
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HelluvaHoax! said:
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I have frequently written (on the old ESMB) often about how Scientology is just a "New Slant On..." the ages-old psychic advisor scam. You know the one, where someone desperate to handle their "ruin" goes to a know-nothing charlatan who tells them they have "evil spirits" that only the psychic can get rid of.

This is Scientology. That's all it is.

No, Scientology is not science. It's not religion. It's not philosophy. It's a conniving cult conning credulous culties.

Evil spirit = "BT"​
​
Negative energy = "charge"​
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Go back in time to past lives to handle it = "wholetrack auditing"​
​
Get the idea?​

If you want to see how hilariously obvious (and incredibly stupid) it is, watch the first 2 minutes and 15 seconds of this video:


Click to expand...

The psychic advisors should do a Black Friday Special. Get a psychic reading with a happy ending for no extra cost. :coolwink:
 
Type4_PTS said:
The psychic advisors should do a Black Friday Special. Get a psychic reading with a happy ending for no extra cost. :coolwink:
Click to expand...

lol. Spat coffee. Thunder rumbled, literally. All in less than 10 seconds of reading the above. Currently gathering my wits and clearing my mind of some of the potential options for dinner conversation (with old friends) this evening.

Note to self: do not drink the good wine this evening. Just don't! :)
 
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There are many fascinating parallels between PSYCHIC ADVISORS and the SPIRITUAL AUDITORS of Scientology. There is a new one which just came to mind:

Gypsy Fortune Tellers predict your future. Scientology does too.

Both con games (whether the practitioners knowingly or not defraud the victim or not--which is irrelevant) always give 100% of their marks the identical diagnosis:


"UNFORTUNATELY, THINGS WILL BE VERY BAD FOR YOU IN THE FUTURE--
UNLESS YOU GET RID OF YOUR HORRIFIC CURSE (RUIN). THE CURSE'S
SOURCE IS EVIL SPIRITS THAT HAUNT YOU AND WILL BE WITH
YOU FOREVER, UNLESS YOU ARE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO
RUN INTO SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE SECRET
SYSTEM (TECH ) OF HOW TO
BREAK THE CURSE!"​


I had to stop and think for a moment and wonder what the Scientology equivalent of "CURSED" would be.

If auditing breaks the curse, when then IS the curse>

Hmmm.......wiki time!

wiki article (excerpt):

A curse is any expressed wish that some form of adversity or misfortune will befall or attach to one or more persons, a place, or an object.[1] In particular, "curse" may refer to such a wish or pronouncement made effective by a supernatural or spiritual power, such as a god or gods, a spirit, or a natural force, or else as a kind of spell by magic or witchcraft; in the latter sense, a curse can also be called a hex or a jinx. In many belief systems, the curse itself (or accompanying ritual) is considered to have some causative force in the result. To reverse or eliminate a curse is sometimes called "removal" or "breaking", as the spell has to be dispelled, and is often requiring elaborate rituals or prayers.[2]​

That is more illuminating than I expected. A hex! What would a "hex" be, in Scientology?

ANSWER: In Scientology all wonderful & miraculous things happen because of a pro-survival postulate. So who or what "hexed" all beings on this planet with a contra-survival postulate? That would have to be a vast SP conspiracy of Psychiatrists, Xenu and BTs. Their postulate is far stronger (apparently) than the Scientologist's postulate.

The basic hex that Scientologists are paying millions to break is SP's postulates that they lose their godlike powers and descend down the dwindling spiral until they become.......(drumroll)..... MEST!

The MEST hex! Aided and abetted by implanted demon spirits who keep you interior to your MEST body and hopelessly trapped within the MEST universe, well---forever! Your eternity---unless of course you are lucky enough to bump into someone who knows how to spring you from the curse.

Everyone feels so very lucky when they find Scientology! LOL

PRO TIP: Psychic advisors, Scientology advisors and other spiritualists guarantee your spiritual freedom if only you first just make one last pit stop in the physical world and retrieve some MEST money (or other material assets) for your spiritual guide. Don't worry, it's all normal---even Dorothy had to go retrieve the witches broom and donate it to the Wizard in order to get her Home (universe) postulate.

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HelluvaHoax! said:
Not a 6 year old transgender. A 46 year old transgender Deputy Commodore, Bill Robertson. He was #2 in command in this sector of the Galaxy, with only LRH above him on the command channel.

Salvaging a Galaxy is a very work-intensive task, which probably explains why "Captain Bill" could not afford to take study time and read all the books, policies and bulletins by his boss that declared people like him should not be trusted because they are 1.1 on the tone scale.

Ron was super busy too, so he had to delegate his hat of obnosing and declaring "sexual deviants" as covertly hostile suppressives that are sabotaging Scientology. That explains why Ron did not know that the #2 OT on this planet was a "psychotic".

These are minor outpoints that should not even slightly interfere with either planetary and/or galactic Clearing.

Here is a photo of Captain Bill before the psychs and 5th invaders got ahold of him, PDH'ed him and implanted him---which naturally threw him out of valence and that's the only reason he was dramatizing cross-dressing lesbian role playing in secret.


https://scientolipedia.org/w/images/2/2d/CBR_70-70_Ole_Gerstrom_pic.jpg

All that could so easily have been cleaned up in a few minute session by
simply assessing an LFPG correction list ("List For Psychotic Gurus").​

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Click to expand...

So true.

Psychos and whackos like Captain Bill and COB go undetected and remain their SP crim selves while good and decent people are demoted, declared, stripped of certs and attacked.

Scientology works!
 
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IF THEY BOTH AGGRESSIVELY DEFRAUD MARKS BY
GUARANTEEING THAT THEY CAN RID THEM OF RUINOUS "EVIL SPIRITS",
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SCIENTOLOGY & PSYCHIC ADVSORS?

1574070083978.png

ANSWER: Scientology is better at the long con*, which is why they insist on
collecting hundreds hundreds of thousands of dollars
before ever telling clients about the evil spirits.

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* long con: see definition linked at "Confidence Trick"



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guanoloco said:
Psychos and whackos like Captain Bill and COB go undetected and remain their SP crim selves while good and decent people are demoted, declared, stripped of certs and attacked. Scientology works!
Click to expand...

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Undetected, yes! It's KSW---Keeping Secrets Working!

Hiding their crimes and demanding others confess theirs---that is likely the greatest of the cult's "successful actions"!

CultCraft 101:

- - Cult's sociopathic leaders (Commodore, COB, Captain Bill, et al) defraud credulous marks by criminally selling them non-existent miracles. ​
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- - Cult marks don't get any of the magical powers and thereby become "Potential Trouble Sources" (i.e. potential whistleblowers and/or potential refunds). ​
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- - Cult's misanthropic messiahs then further suppress their "critical" victims, by ordering them to do lavishly expensive courses and auditing rundowns to detect the "SP"s that are suppressing them. (CULT RULE: The PTS customers are never allowed to spot, obnose or name the SPs running the cult and ruining their lives).​
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- - If cult's victim refuses to change their answer about who the SP is, cult then declares THEM to be the SP. ​
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HelluvaHoax! said:
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Undetected, yes! It's KSW---Keeping Secrets Working!

Hiding their crimes and demanding others confess theirs---that is likely the greatest of the cult's "successful actions"!

CultCraft 101:

- - Cult's sociopathic leaders (Commodore, COB, Captain Bill, et al) defraud credulous marks by criminally selling them non-existent miracles. ​
​
- - Cult marks don't get any of the magical powers and thereby become "Potential Trouble Sources" (i.e. potential whistleblowers and/or potential refunds). ​
​
- - Cult's misanthropic messiahs then further suppress their "critical" victims, by ordering them to do lavishly expensive courses and auditing rundowns to detect the "SP"s that are suppressing them. (CULT RULE: The PTS customers are never allowed to spot, obnose or name the SPs running the cult and ruining their lives).​
​
- - If cult's victim refuses to change their answer about who the SP is, cult then declares THEM to be the SP. ​
​
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Click to expand...

This pretty much is it. The real self dupe is expecting different results for yourself despite all contrary evidence.
 
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There is a never-ending treasure trove of SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS that can be found every single time a Scientologist clay-demo's or has a win while studying/applying any precept from the cult's multitude of "codes" (e.g. Code of Honor, Code of a Scientologist, Auditor's Code, et al).

For example, the Auditor's Code states:

"I promise not to evaluate for the preclear or tell him
what he should think about his case in session."​

It is a "Suppressive Act" and "High Crime" in Scientology to violate that sacred scriptural code.

But do they actually follow it or even believe it?

AUDITOR
Today we are going to do a special process to find the SP
that is ruining your life and preventing you from being
an amazing super-upstat, super-ethical and super-uptone
OT like mankind's greatest friends, the Commodore & COB.

PC
Sounds great!

AUDITOR
Here is the command--Who or What is Suppressing You?

PC
Oh jeez! I have had some pretty weird thoughts
lately about that, especially after I lost my house
to foreclosure and lost my car to repossession,
lost my family to disconnection and lost
all my money due to bankruptcy from
all the donations I made to. So, if it's
okay with you, I'd rather not say
anything about who is
suppressing me.

AUDITOR
I get that but it's perfectly okay to answer the question.
I am bound by the Auditors Code to not evaluate for you.
Thus, for you to attain Total Freedom, please feel
Totally Free to answer any way you wish!

PC
Okayyyyyyy, but I sure hope I am not going
to get in trouble if I answer with what I really think.
I think all the suppression in my life is coming from
L. Ron Hubbard and David Miscavich because they
destroyed my friends, my family and my finances!

AUDITOR
Thank you for that. We are going to end the session
now and send the folder back to the case supervisor
to find out the next action. Is there anything you'd
say or ask before I end this session?

PC
Damn! Why are you ending the session? I thought
you said it was safe to answer the question and
you wouldn't evaluate for me or tell me
what to think about my case.

AUDITOR
That's correct. The Auditor Code states
that I can't "tell you what to think about
your case in session". That's why
we are ending off--so we can route
your sorry ass to ethics to evaluate
for you out of session and r-factor
you what a total piece of shit your
answer was to the auditing
question, you fucking SP!

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JustSheila said:
Hey HH!
Time for the 2020 Scientology predictions thread, please!
:begging:
Click to expand...

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Done Sir!
Errr, I mean-- Done M'am!
Errr, I mean-- Done Dude!
Errr, I mean-- Can you write a commendation to my Ethics Folder so I can get ethics protection and thus secure my eternity?

 
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one of the first predictions just in for
what to expect from Scientologists in 2020​


Zertel said:
Scientologists at revival type fundraising events will begin speaking in tongues.
Click to expand...
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LOL

Will it be some new strain of Glossolalia or just the usual old speaking-in-theta Glib-olalia?

All cults seem to employ the same big-league, big-bombast "tech" to close big donations:

1) Unintelligible blast of religiously & rhythmically ranted "misunderstood words" to disorient & overwhelm cult marks.​
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2) Quickly followed by love bombing.​
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3) Resulting in the freaked-out mark seeing an extraordinary window of opportunity to escape the "session" by agreeing to make a "donation" before the crazy cult gibberish erupts again.​



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Talking about the Golden Age of Glib-olalia. . .


MUMBO-JUMBO MESSIANIC MOVIESTARS WITH MEDALLIONS



"Whadya say, are we going
to clean this place up?!"
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"clean this place up" - (scientology idiom): 1. Clear this slave planet, salvage this sector and sacredly save all souls in the universe---on a part time schedule---if it doesn't interfere with making action movies. 2. Crush critics of Commodores, COBs & other cringey, creepy, courageously crowing cult clowns [ i.e. "Does this gargantuan golden geegaw make me look fat(uous)?" ]


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Karen#1 said:
This video is soooooooooooooooooooooooo good, I HAD to post it on this illustrious thread....

I give it 5 stars ★★★★★ FIVE STARS ★★★★★

12 Secrets Of Scientology That Will Make You Laugh
Click to expand...
Wow! Great video by Brian Sheen! :clapping:

I see he's publishing a book in January of 2020, "Relentless: Rescuing My Daughter From Scientology"

He's also got some good material on his website as well:
ScientologyHostage.com
Brian J Sheen | Website
 
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cross-posted from another thread. . . ​


Karen#1 said:
Diana believes very much that Miscavige has "saved" Scientology and that he pulled off the tax exemption. She is allowed on and off the base with a free pass. She has never been in SP hole. She was raised on a ship where staff were thrown overboard for minor offenses so she sees nothing wrong with abusive punishment. She believes she is being loyal to her father by staying the course.
Click to expand...

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As in most things where Scientology has any influence, wherever and whenever Hubbard indoctrinated cult members with a belief, a "stable datum" or a "knowingness"---the exact opposite is true.

example: Let's take a 5 decade period of time (1950-2000) and do a survey of Hubbard's devotees, asking them how they would assess the Commodore's kids. The #1 answer would have been (paraphrasing): "...incredibly able beings, they are unbelievably OT to make it go right to pick up a body in Ron's family!"​

Unfortunately, when the movie is fast-forwarded to the 3rd act conclusion, it is shockingly discovered that the most un-able beings who are unbelievably not OT and made it go wrong to pick up a body in Ron's family--are Hubbard's kids. Well, both those choices are obvious nonsense, because they are predicated on the messianic mythology of mankind's greatest misanthrope. Nobody chooses to be raised by a sociopathic con man---thus the scions of Scion-tology were quickly posted as personal-pr-props on Hubbard's "slave planet".

They had no choice in the matter, they just happen to have had the great misfortune of being born at cult ground zero.

Cue soundtrack: BORN UNDER A BAD SIGNTOLOGY




Born under a bad signtology
Been downstat since I began to crawl
If it wasn't for bad luck tech
You know, I wouldn't have no luck tech at all

Hard luck TRs and potential trouble sources
Been my only friend
I've been on my own RPF
Ever since I was ten

Born under a bad sign cult
Been downtone since I began to crawl
If it wasn't for bad luck indicators
You know, I wouldn't have no luck indicators at all

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Karen posted:
"Diana believes very much that Miscavige has 'saved'
Scientology and that he pulled off the tax exemption."

- - -
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That means that there are in fact TWO (2) scientifically provable miracles that Scientology OTs are capable of!

1) Finding parking spaces. ​
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2) Tax evasion.​
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CORRECTION: Actually, upon review, it appears that there is only ONE (1) Scientology paranormal power. The second one above is also a parking miracle--finding parking spaces to park laundered cash in offshore accounts.

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