TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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RON HUBBARD DIRECTOR: All things in Scientology (even clay demos and gurus) must have an overall label.

Otherwise someone seeing a mentally ill con man in a cowboy costume yelling thru a bull-horn would not know it's bull-shit.

If the overall label was changed from "Ron Hubbard DIRECTOR" to "Ron Hubbard DICTATOR" it would help cult members achieve a proper balance of mass and insignificance.

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HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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KSW KOAN OF THE DAY: Why do the most super-powerful beings in the Galaxy--the OTs who are capable of miracles--lamely attempt to sell humans a $600,000 "Bridge" by standing lurking around in front of their ideal businesses? Is this the best and most brilliant marketing their advanced technology can do? Just standing around and WAITING for a mark wander past so they can be somehow convinced to come inside?

Anyone who has ever observed the Ideal marketing tech in front of ANY of the Ideal orgs has seen this:

- -One or often two staff members stand around in front of their organization, talking to each other and waiting.​
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- - Occasionally a pedestrian walks by.​
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- - The marketing genius thrusts a promo piece at them with a verbal command they think will bring the person up to CURIOUS on the scale.​
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- - Once they have the person up to "CURIOUS" (which matches the big sandwich board poster that wants to know if they are: "CURIOUS ABOUT SCIENTOLOGY?"​
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- - Approximately 99% of the pedestrians avoid the sidewalk pitch people and their "free" promo piece. Remarkably, this is the identical ratio of Scientologists who end up blowing. These overwhelming fail rates do not deter the preposterous pitchmen, because they have total certainty that the tech works 100% of the time.​
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- - If there are 2 or more pedestrians walking together (who are under 30 years old) expect to hear them loudly laugh and use the word TOM CRUISE in a sentence. I have seen/heard this countless times.​

- - Ergo, the public has utter disinterest and just as often contempt towards the cult, roundly rejecting any cult member who tries to use their canned cult pitches to lure them into the trap.​


WHY DOES THIS ALL SOUND VERY FAMILIAR? It reminds one of carnival pitchmen who stand out in front of their sideshows with similarly ludicrous "believe it or not" claims of the paranormal and miraculous. Both will say ANYTHING to get their mark to pay and go inside.

Take a look at this link and see if it doesn't remind you of something in Scientology. . .


The book covers? LOL


And both marks discover that what was promised is NEVER delivered. And for similar reasons, both carnival barker and Hubbard follow a policy of never staying in one place very long. Hubbard called it "fabian" and carnies call it "staying out of jail for defrauding marks and leaving town before they figure it out".

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D

Deleted member 51

Guest
Glenda said:
Why thank you. I think. :)

"COZY SLIPPERS FROM COMFORT EXPERTS"

WTF is a "comfort expert"? My imagination runs wild.

They'll do though. Ideal for pervading & running around in while I run a small island nation - on my way to world domination. I could sing a rousing rendition of "we stand tall" wearing these. Have I gone mad for real this time... :)

p.s Cosy is not spelt cozy. The world really does need pervasion tek. :unsure:
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America has not yet banned Zee or Zed from random appearances mid-word. However, the mysterious disappearances of Es whenever Zee or Zed show up has led all to question Y.
 
Glenda

Glenda

Well-known member
JustSheila said:
America has not yet banned Zee or Zed from random appearances mid-word. However, the mysterious disappearances of Es whenever Zee or Zed show up has led all to question Y.
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So this is all about "Y" finding? Or random appearances of lost and lonely zeds? :confused:

I have word-cleared and demo'ed the above. Will do a serious clay-demo after some tea. Tea, that beverage that has such an interesting story and. often. glorious ceremony attached to it. I will try not to launch into a tirade about the tea-bag - I mean seriously what's with the tea-bag? I digress... sorry.

Okay, here we go, clay demo time...

1. "Show why queztioning Y is important to Americans".
2. "Demonstrate a mysterious dizappearance of an E in relationzip to a mizzing zed".
3. "Demonstrate Y the tea-bag is the reason western culture is a bit shabby".

It is going to be a long night! :)
 
HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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From the archived "Top 100 Stupid Moments In Scientology" thread (part III) comes Albert Einstein--a low-IQ critic of Scientology's advanced technology.




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HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
FANTASTICALLY F/Ning FACT
(aka :Why you should ignore real nuclear physicists
and get your tech from Dr. Hubbard instead)​

Einstein's IQ was estimated to be an embarrassing 160, while Dr. Hubbard's IQ has scientifically been confirmed to be an astonishing 3,873!

This miraculous IQ score is due to the fact that Ron received 3,801 hours of auditing--with the attendant increase of one IQ point per hour of processing, as predicted in the highly acclaimed scientific book Dianetics.

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HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
cleared cannibal said:
OK HH what traits of a genius will be disclosed here?
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Do you mean what capabilities did Dr. Hubbard have, owing to his IQ of 3,873?

Well, first one must acclimate themselves to the order of magnitude Ron attained, compared to homo sapiens geniuses:

The highest IQ scores ever recorded in Human history.
  1. Ainan Celeste Cawley (IQ score: 263)
  2. William James Sidis (IQ score: 250-300)
  3. Terence Tao (IQ score: 225-230)
  4. Marilyn Vos Savant (IQ score: 228)
  5. Christopher Hirata (IQ score: 225)
  6. Kim Ung-Yong (IQ score: 210)
  7. Edith Stern (IQ score: 200+)
  8. Christopher Michael Langan (IQ score: 190 – 210)
  9. Garry Kasparov (IQ score: 194)
  10. Philip Emeagwali (IQ score: 190)
  11. Judit Polgar (IQ score: 170)
  12. Albert Einstein (IQ score: 160 – 190)
  13. Stephen Hawking (IQ score: 160)

Thus, you can see that the intelligence ratio between Dr. Hubbard and Albert Einstein is equivalent to the ratio of Einstein to an anaten amoeba that has never had any auditing. We are not stating as fact that it would be impossible for an amoeba to be audited up their grades to Clear, but first Ron would have to return and invent nano-sized soup cans.

I think we can all agree that if Ron wished to do that he certain could. But it would be fairly off purpose and off policy of making the able more able. I don't think there is a good argument that can be made that an amoeba is an able being.

Well, you asked me a serious question about what traits a super genius would have and I gave you a deadly serious answer about clearing amoebas after the more able life forms are already handled, on this planet.

By the way, I am having a bit of trouble deciding which Dynamic amoebas belong to, since they are NOT animals...so I am thinking maybe they don't belong on the 5th dynamic. Since amoebas are asexual, I am thinking of grouping them on whatever Dynamic Sea Org members are in.

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HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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cleared cannibal: Thanks for that ideal briefing on Kansas City!




PREPOSTEROUSLY PRESCIENT PROMO PIECE PARADOX
On behalf of the Church of Hoaxology and DBs (Diabolical Debunkers)
everywhere---we are also here to FINISH OFF Kansas City!
(and the rest of your scientifically ideal religious real estate hoaxes, on this planet)


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HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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FOR THOSE WHO PREFER REALITY: The gargantuan pink building featured in the above promo piece on Kansas City IDEAL ORG is not an Ideal Org and has nothing to do with Scientology. Here it is again. . .




That is the UNION STATION, an urban centerpiece that "features exhibits, movies, restaurants, and a science center in a historic train station". And no. No, it's not pink.

Image result for kansas city union station

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But Scientology would really, really like you to think that it's somehow a mega-win for Maitreya's & Miscavige's merry messianic money ministers.

So, why is it pink, right?

ANSWER: Because the entire Kansas City skyline was (previously) lit up pink for BREAST CANCER awareness month.

PRO TIP FROM KNOWING HOW TO KNOW SCIENTOLOGISTS: Stupid wog doctors! They think that stringing up an entire city with pink lightbulbs is going to cure cancer--what a waste of money! All they needed to do was come into our Ideal Org for a free LRH tape play where Dr. Hubbard talks about curing cancer with a few touch assists. It's amazing that these oncological quacks don't know that cancer is caused by not smoking enough cigarettes!
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PRO TIP ABOUT THE COS (Charlatans of Scientology): Yes, Hubbard actually is on the record with those two (2) dangerously fraudulent and lethal "medical breakthroughs" and "miracle cures" for cancer.
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1) "Well, there are societies in England that are having an awfully good time fighting the cigarette. They can't do anything else, so they fight cigarettes. And they say that the cigarette causes lung cancer. And they've - you've been hearing something of this, I'm sure. Yeah. Not smoking enough will cause lung cancer." [- L. Ron Hubbard taped lecture of 7-19-61; SHSBC 35 'Auditor Effect on Meter' ]​
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2) "Now the little trick I want you to pull on your friends is a simple one, very simple one. Any time you see somebody bunged up, you know, with a blister or warts or something of the sort—just put your finger on it and say “Look at my finger, Look at my finger”, each time he does, “Look at my finger”--even though it’s on the back of his neck, you see? “Look at my finger, look at my finger,” just keep that up for a while and if it’s something real bad like, uh, oh I don’t know, cancer— something like that, keep doing it, keep doing it, every day for 15 or 20 minutes a day. It’ll go away and you will become a miracle healer." (L. Ron Hubbard taped lecture)​
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PirateAndBum

PirateAndBum

Administrator
Staff member
Is a career better than a job?
Having a career means that you are committed to playing the game to get better over time and advance to higher levels. The real difference between a job and a career is your attitude: People who want a career are always thinking about their long-term goals. ... Beginning job seekers often must work hard for little money.
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However, a career in KC Org means working for Chinese slave labor rates. therefore a MU exists that needs to be taken care of post haste and preferably with 232.6 lbs of clay and assorted bits of paper labels.

A "career" in a scientology is a extra-low wage job and if you have any inkling of a thought about your long-term goals you will avoid, like the blubonic plague, any recruiters that should come your way enticing you to become a menial worker paid like a slave (or perhaps worse) so that you can help mankind's greatest con as it sputters into decayed irrelevancy.
 
Type4_PTS

Type4_PTS

Well-known member
HelluvaHoax! said:
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FOR THOSE WHO PREFER REALITY: The gargantuan pink building featured in the above promo piece on Kansas City IDEAL ORG is not an Ideal Org and has nothing to do with Scientology. Here it is again. . .




That is the UNION STATION, an urban centerpiece that "features exhibits, movies, restaurants, and a science center in a historic train station". And no. No, it's not pink.

Image result for kansas city union station

​

But Scientology would really, really like you to think that it's somehow a mega-win for Maitreya's & Miscavige's merry messianic money ministers.

So, why is it pink, right?

ANSWER: Because the entire Kansas City skyline was (previously) lit up pink for BREAST CANCER awareness month.

PRO TIP FROM KNOWING HOW TO KNOW SCIENTOLOGISTS: Stupid wog doctors! They think that stringing up an entire city with pink lightbulbs is going to cure cancer--what a waste of money! All they needed to do was come into our Ideal Org for a free LRH tape play where Dr. Hubbard talks about curing cancer with a few touch assists. It's amazing that these oncological quacks don't know that cancer is caused by not smoking enough cigarettes!
​
PRO TIP ABOUT THE COS (Charlatans of Scientology): Yes, Hubbard actually is on the record with those two (2) dangerously fraudulent and lethal "medical breakthroughs" and "miracle cures" for cancer.
​
1) "Well, there are societies in England that are having an awfully good time fighting the cigarette. They can't do anything else, so they fight cigarettes. And they say that the cigarette causes lung cancer. And they've - you've been hearing something of this, I'm sure. Yeah. Not smoking enough will cause lung cancer." [- L. Ron Hubbard taped lecture of 7-19-61; SHSBC 35 'Auditor Effect on Meter' ]​
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2) "Now the little trick I want you to pull on your friends is a simple one, very simple one. Any time you see somebody bunged up, you know, with a blister or warts or something of the sort—just put your finger on it and say “Look at my finger, Look at my finger”, each time he does, “Look at my finger”--even though it’s on the back of his neck, you see? “Look at my finger, look at my finger,” just keep that up for a while and if it’s something real bad like, uh, oh I don’t know, cancer— something like that, keep doing it, keep doing it, every day for 15 or 20 minutes a day. It’ll go away and you will become a miracle healer." (L. Ron Hubbard taped lecture)​
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I am grateful to you for debunking that promo piece from the Ideal Org in Kansas City!

It said "For people who want to make a career."

It just so happens I'm considering a career change, and when I saw that beautiful pink building in the promo piece it really indicated to me that that could be (and should be) my next workplace.

I was about to pick up the phone to call the recruiter but decided to read just one more post here. And it was yours.

Wow, I dodged a bullet there! :ohmy:
 
HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
"Now the little trick I want you to pull on your friends is a simple one, very simple one. Any time you see somebody bunged up, you know, with a blister or warts or something of the sort—just put your finger on it and say “Look at my finger, Look at my finger”, each time he does, “Look at my finger”--even though it’s on the back of his neck, you see? “Look at my finger, look at my finger,” just keep that up for a while and if it’s something real bad like, uh, oh I don’t know, cancer— something like that, keep doing it, keep doing it, every day for 15 or 20 minutes a day. It’ll go away and you will become a miracle healer." (L. Ron Hubbard taped lecture)


I temporarily misplaced the link to the original Hubbard audiotaped lecture. If anyone happens to know the name/date of that lecture, feel free to post it. The quotation, however, is verbatim.

COMMENT ON MIRACLE CURES: This is pure cult thinking. But a Scientologist listening to that taped lecture has total certainty that they now know the cure for cancer. How can that possibly be?

REASON: Because an infallible "war hero" and "scientist" and "nuclear physicist" and "doctor" (Dr. Hubbard) said it. And it's all so easy, what's not to like about curing cancer?

SCIENO-THINK: "Wow, just look at how many years a wog has to study cancer before they get their certification! Like LRH says, "Complexity is equal to degree of non-confront". It takes a wog 9 years to become an oncologist who can treat cancer but it only took me 3 minutes of listening to part of an LRH lecture while I was on the treadmill working out this morning! Now I can easily cure cancer, why are wogs making such a big deal out of something so simple?!"

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Type4_PTS

Type4_PTS

Well-known member
HelluvaHoax! said:
"Now the little trick I want you to pull on your friends is a simple one, very simple one. Any time you see somebody bunged up, you know, with a blister or warts or something of the sort—just put your finger on it and say “Look at my finger, Look at my finger”, each time he does, “Look at my finger”--even though it’s on the back of his neck, you see? “Look at my finger, look at my finger,” just keep that up for a while and if it’s something real bad like, uh, oh I don’t know, cancer— something like that, keep doing it, keep doing it, every day for 15 or 20 minutes a day. It’ll go away and you will become a miracle healer." (L. Ron Hubbard taped lecture)


I temporarily misplaced the link to the original Hubbard audiotaped lecture. If anyone happens to know the name/date of that lecture, feel free to post it. The quotation, however, is verbatim.
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I don't recall the name/date of that lecture but it was recorded with the year or so just before the PDC Tape recordings.

I'll edit this post to add the missing data as soon as I can recall.
 
HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
Type4_PTS said:
I don't recall the name/date of that lecture but it was recorded with the year or so just before the PDC Tape recordings.

I'll edit this post to add the missing data as soon as I can recall.
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Thanks, I just found a snippet from the actual recorded lecture!

"The Future of South Africa"
January 22, 1961


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That one tape alone should have been enough to close down Scientology and criminally indict Hubbard for medical malpractice. And, the corrupt cult of Scientology is STILL SELLING this quackery on audio tapes and courses!

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HelluvaHoax!

HelluvaHoax!

Well-known member
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Posted on another thread by Out Ethics
"There seems to be a common thread with Scientologists, NOI and other cult members. Is this due to the fear that the cult implants into their minds? The fear that the boogey man is out to get you. Christian's think it is Satan or the Devil. Scientologists - it starts out with the Reactive Mind and then moves to the Psychs and then covertly, the Wog World and the government."

- - - - - - -​

It's perhaps commendable that Scientology's audio-lectures and courses promoting "The Route To Infinity" are honestly revealing that credulous cult members are going to be implanted with an "Infinity" of diabolical Boogey Men (i.e. mortal enemies) that must be destroyed---before they destroy you!

You correctly identified four (4) of the major "Boogey Men" that are ostensibly ruining cult members' lives. Who knows, there may be even more. . . . .

As you point out, it all begins with Book One's "reactive mind", which is essentially "The Modern Science of Mental Boogey Men". THE REACTIVE MIND! ENGRAMS!​
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They have been out to get you for hundreds of trillions of years. PSYCHS!​
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They are all around you which make you "PTS to the Middle Class!" WOGS!​
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Even the corrupt government is out to take away your freedom and get you! GOVERNMENT! POLICE! ​
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They're out to take away your money and bankrupt you too! TAXES COLLECTORS!​
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They are covertly ruining your life propaganda & lies! REPORTERS! INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISTS! ​
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They are trying to make you sick and kill you! MEDICOS! BIG PHARMA! ​
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They are ruining the workable tech & sabotaging the Bridge to Total Freedom! SQUIRRELS! ​
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OMG, it's worse than you ever thought! They are treasonous & treacherous! EX-SCIENTOLOGIST CRITICS!​
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Holy hell, they are inside your mind and body! BTs! (Boogey Thetans)​
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Nightmare! The enemies are covertly operating inside our church right now! PUBLIC & STAFF SPS! ​

EPILOGUE: Those last two (2) are more than reminiscent of the sleaziest "B" horror-movie story line, that always ends with a terrorized victim in their own home---receiving a phone call from an ally screaming about the boogey man who all this time has been living inside the walls of the house! "THEY'RE INSIDE YOUR HOME RIGHT NOW, GET OUT!!!" Perhaps that is the best "r-factor" and urgent advice anyone anyone can give to paranoid Scientologists besieged by so many scary boogey men that they forgot to ask who created all those enemies in the first place. To wit "THEY'RE INSIDE YOUR CHURCH AND YOUR MIND RIGHT NOW, GET OUT!!!"

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