TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[Type4_PTS]

At that briefing an announcement was made that there is a new Grade Chart level that: "...will boost the thetan power of anyone who completes the new level by a factor of 137 times greater than the that of an OT VIII."

CoS needs to first improve the quality of their PR tech by a factor of 137 times. They claim their Admin tech is already the best on the planet, but a 2022 YouGov poll found that the Church of Scientology and Satanism tied for last place in net favorability among 35 religious groups, organizations, and belief systems. (I know that all the regulars on this message board are already fully aware of this, but posting it in case of any still-in CoS members lurking here)

Americans' views on 35 religious groups, organizations, and belief systems

Belief systems that encompass the largest shares of Americans — including Christianity, Catholicism, and Protestantism — are among the ones the most Americans view favorably. Viewed least favorably are Satanism and Scientology.

yougov.com

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

CoS needs to first improve the quality of their PR tech by a factor of 137 times. They claim their Admin tech is already the best on the planet, but a 2022 YouGov poll found that the Church of Scientology and Satanism tied for last place in net favorability among 35 religious groups, organizations, and belief systems.. . . . .

I think another miraculous feat Scientology Clears & OTs are able to perform is THE ABILITY TO 100% AVOID THE DEV-T OF DUE DILIGENCE when being exposed to the cult's maliciously misinformed marketing.

example: Cult unleashes a torrential downpour of tone 40 promotional pitches to pay for and book a trip to the Freewinds ship in order to do a 7-day workshop of lectures, LRH tapes/advices and drills on how to "blow the roof off your income statistics!" by learning "...the secret of Ron's "advanced PUBLIC RELATIONS technology".

FSM
So the entire one week "MARKETING MAGIC WORKSHOP" at the ship
only costs $ 9,999.99. The last time we ran that workshop many OTs
wrote success stories that all their stops and barriers had blown
so that now their business and personal income
could now expand 10 times bigger!

OT VIII
Wow! Amazing! But wait, did you say that their income "could" expand?
You mean they wrote the success story while they were still
on the ship and before their stats expanded 10 times.

FSM
What's with all the Q & A? Don't you want your company's
public relations to be as good as Rons? Don't forget
that Ron's PR is off the charts, everywhere in
the world he is lovingly referred to as
"Mankind's Greatest Friend"!

OT VIII
But wait, didn't Ron write that slogan about himself? I've
never heard anyone say that except Scientologists.

FSM
Listen the PR MAGIC workshop is selling out and there
are only a few tickets left before they close the door
on new applications. Let's get your reservation
done right now, give me your credit card.

OT VIII
Um, honestly I am pretty short on money because I am
still paying for all the loans i took for the last 3 money workshops
on the Freewinds...plus receiving the "OT MONEY DEBUG RUNDOWN"
and the "END OF THE ENDLESS LOW HAVINGNESS ON
MONEY RUNDOWN. Plus I had to take another loan
after that to pay my bankruptcy attorneys.

FSM
Look, Ron is the most beloved and respected and trusted
being on this planet. That's how he was able to
build a multi-billion dollar organization. Don't
you want billions of dollars for yourself too?l

OT VIII
It's just that I am not so sure Ron's tech can work for
anyone else than Ron. I mean when I am out in the wog
world every day in my job, people have some really
terrible things to say about Scientology and Ron,
so how well is the "advanced PR tech"
really working, that's my question.

FSM
That's just not true. The church recently did a worldwide
survey of 13 million wogs and 97.5% of them all said
they admired and loved and trusted Ron and Scientology
more than any other religion, even their own!

OT VIII
That sounds weird, are you sure? You said 97.5% love Ron
even though they are not Scientologists?
What happened to the other 2.5%?

FSM
Oh, the 2.5 percent? Those were all psychs and SPs
and so they are trying to sabotage OTs from becoming
billionaires and flourishing & prospering.

OT VIII
Uh....I guess that handles my considerations and completes
my due diligence. It sounds amazing, here's my master card.

.​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

...

CULT PARADOX

Scientology's ruin is that it is not able enough to reach its goal to "Clear The Planet".

The "WHY" they can't do it is because Scientology has zero full Operating Thetans.

Yet, cult management refuses to release the upper OT levels that would
produce supernaturally powerful "total cause" OTs that could clear the planet.

The cult's leader always promises to release those magical levels,
but only if the parishioners reach a money-making milestone.

Hmmmm, all this reminds me of something. . .

​

...

 

[Type4_PTS]

...

CULT PARADOX

Scientology's ruin is that it is not able enough to reach its goal to "Clear The Planet".

The "WHY" they can't do it is because Scientology has zero full Operating Thetans.

Yet, cult management refuses to release the upper OT levels that would
produce supernaturally powerful "total cause" OTs that could clear the planet.

The cult's leader always promises to release those magical levels,
but only if the parishioners reach a production milestone.

Hmmmm, all this reminds me of something. . .

​

...

That image brings back some memories for me. A friend of mine when I was in the Sea Org had certainly that their daughter had been Judy Garland in a previous lifetime.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

That image brings back some memories for me. A friend of mine when I was in the Sea Org had certainly that their daughter had been Judy Garland in a previous lifetime.

Sounds kind of non-standard to me. . . I thought (in their past lives) all Scientologists were either Marilyn Monroe or Jesus.

I was at an org course graduation one time that asked if anyone in the audience wanted to share a win from being on course that week. Billy Blowdown went up on stage and took the mike. He was euphorically glowing as he relayed his OT win that happened while he was coaching someone on an e-meter drill—where he was on the cans, while the other student assessed a list to find out "WHICH IS YOUR FAVORITE FRUIT?"

When his twin (using the e-meter) found his favorite fruit and indicated it, Billy Blowdown blew down and blew a massive mass.

Buddha's Hand fruit *​

The instant that his twin indicated that Billy's favorite fruit was "Buddha's Hand"— Billy cognited that on the wholetrack he was Buddha!!!

The next day when Billy showed up for course, they sent him to Ethics where he was ordered to do the lower conditions for "stolen valor" by trying to claim Ron's accomplishments as his own. For his amends project the ethics officer ordered Billy to purchase and donate 5,000 copies of "HYMN OF ASIA" to public libraries, in order to erase the false data (that HE was the reincarnated Buddha) which invalidated Ron's identical claim by means of cultural appropriation.




* Strangest fruits: Some of the weirdest fruits in the world (besides Scientology OTs)

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[HelluvaHoax!]

.

"Scientology makes the able more able"
—L. Ron Hubbard
​

QUESTION #1: If that assertive dogma is true--in 76 years of trying, why hasn't
Scientology been able to clear the planet or even clear a single city block?

QUESTION #2: If Ron was not able to Clear even one (1) person (including himself)
how can Ron's axiomatic pronouncement (above) possibly be even 1% true?

ANSWER: It can be scientifically proven that Ron's statement is 100% true, because
before Ron's epic discovery of Dianetics & Scientology, he was not an able person.

CONCLUSION: Able people are able to earn money honestly, rather than diabolically
devising "religious donation" rackets, fake "science" and other cruelly avaricious hoaxes.
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