TOP SUPER-STUPID MOMENTS IN SCIENTOLOGY (PART V)

[HelluvaHoax!]

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WHOLETRACK ADAGES & PROVERBS
UPDATED WITH "MODERN SCIENCE"


"Don't bite the hand that feeds you"

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"Don't buy the cult that frees you"

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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WHOLETRACK ADAGES & PROVERBS
UPDATED WITH "MODERN SCIENCE"


"You can’t make an omelette without
breaking a few eggs"

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"You can't make an OT without
breaking a few formerly rational people"

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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WHOLETRACK ADAGES & PROVERBS
UPDATED WITH "MODERN SCIENCE"


"There is no such thing as a free lunch"

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"There is no such thing as a free stress test"*

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* or anything else Scientology claims with the descriptive word "free"

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Scientology is very fanatical on "clearing" each and every word.

Let's try their tech on their own words and see if that makes them happy. . .

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Hey, how about that word "OBLIGATION" in the guarantee that there is NO obligation?

Unfortunately, the full conceptual meaning of "No Obligation" cannot be found in any Homo Sapiens dictionaries. We will need an advanced Scientology dictionary to clear that term and find out if there is any obligation when someone strolls in for a free stress test or free personality test.

"When somebody enrolls, consider he or she has joined up for the duration of the universe-never permit an "open-minded" approach. If they're going to quit let them quit fast. If they enrolled, they're aboard, and if they're aboard, they're here on the same terms as the rest of us-win or die in the attempt. Never let them be half-minded about being Scientologists. The proper instruction attitude is, "You're here so you're a Scientologist. Now we're going to make you into an expert auditor no matter what happens. We'd rather have you dead than incapable. We're not playing some minor game in Scientology. It isn't cute or something to do for lack of something better. The whole agonized future of this planet, every man, woman and child on it, and your own destiny for the next endless trillions of years depend on what you do here and now with and in Scientology. This is a deadly serious activity. And if we miss getting out of the trap now, we may never again have another chance. " - L. Ron Hubbard ("Keeping Scientology Working") ​

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Yeah, that sounds pretty much like "no obligation". If you don't do exactly what Scientology orders you to do—the entire universe and all beings are doomed to an eternally nightmarish hell. But, no worries or obligations.

And that part about how Scientology would "rather have you dead" than being a non-productive Scientologist, I think they're probably just kidding on that one. Because they are very lighthearted, fun-loving people, not all "deadly serious" and such.

"If you leave this room after seeing this film, and walk out and never mention Scientology again, you are perfectly free to do so. It would be stupid, but you can do it. You can also dive off a bridge or blow your brains out." - Scientology "Orientation film" for first time visitors​

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Ooops. I goofed this one. I can see now where Scientology is actually telling the truth. Ron says right there that "you are perfectly free" to kill yourself, so that's definitely "no obligation". My bad.


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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WHOLETRACK ADAGES & PROVERBS
UPDATED WITH "MODERN SCIENCE"


"A fool and his money is soon parted"

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"A Clear and his available credit card limits
are soon parted in order to secure his
eternity by paying for OT levels."


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[HelluvaHoax!]

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ONE OF THE TOP 100 WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE
JOINED A DELUSIONALLY CRINGEY CULT AND THAT
YOUR "GAINS" ARE ACTUALLY LOSSES (OF RATIONALITY)

REASON #37
IT SEEMS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO YOU THAT. . .
You dropped out of pointless "wog" medical school and now spend 12 hours a day
in a cult course room staring at and giving "commands" to a jumbo sized stuffed
animal that you imagine is holding soup cans connected to your lie detector. And,
it also seems super-normal that you have carefully arranged a manila file folder to hide
the meter's reactions from the teddy bear—so that they can "erase" the time that
the mother teddy bear gave them an "attempted abortion prenatal engram"
which is now blocking them from attaining "total freedom" and magic powers.


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[Reyne Mayer]

lie detector

and a primitive early 20th century style lie detector, at that....

this is one of those posts that i wish i could both 'thank' and LOL. the picture in particular, really puts it in perspective....

if they even just wanted to be a bit 'sciency', they could at least use something more anatomically correct like a crash test dummy, rather than what might well just be leftover prizes from a traveling carnival...or is that another another of Hubs' inside jokes, to drop a subtle reference to traveling sideshows, and laugh at the marks who don't get it?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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if they even just wanted to be a bit 'sciency', they could at least use something more anatomically correct like a crash test dummy, rather than what might well just be leftover prizes from a traveling carnival...or is that another another of Hubs' inside jokes, to drop a subtle reference to traveling sideshows, and laugh at the marks who don't get it?

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LOL!

That was made doubly funny by the fact that while I was composing that post, I kept thinking of carnivals and all those luridly day-glo stuffed animal prizes. A seasoned carnival worker once explained to me that insiders called all that shiny seduction stuff "FLASH".

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And now, we should probably use that carny-tech term ("flash") in a sentence. . .

"The marketing for both the science and the religion of
Scientology relies exclusively on gimmicky flash
tantalizing thetans with tawdry tech trinkets."​

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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A few examples of Scientology's carny (and corny) "FLASH".

Step right up, a winner every time!

SCIENTOLOGY FLASH: EXAMPLE 1

SCIENTOLOGY FLASH: EXAMPLE 2

SCIENTOLOGY FLASH: EXAMPLE 3

MESSIANIC MOVIESTAR MESSAGE FROM MR CRUISE
"Hey I won this Scientology Freedom medal fair and square! I deserved
every bit of it! And to all you Sea Org members who have spent
30 or 40 years working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week and never
received any medals or even a tiny lapel pin, I want to send you
a very special personal message. Stop whining you lame jerkoffs!
And go make some hit movies and maybe one day you'll get one!"

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[HelluvaHoax!]

A total of 5.03 billion people around the world use the internet today. That means that 63.1 percent of the world's population can read about Scientologist's belief in the XENU HOAX within a few seconds of searching "Scientology".

This is where the fun part comes in. Anyone can read the OT III materials with their own eyes and listen with their own ears to:.

• The church's official confidential Xenu typed bulletins.
• Hubbard's confidential Xenu hand-written explanation.
• Hubbard's audio-recorded Xenu lecture(s).
• The eyewitness testimony about Xenu from hundreds of former Scientologists.

Ergo, there is an overwhelming quantity of proof that the Xenu-Body Thetan "ghost story" is the very spine and core of all of the advanced "OT LEVELS" in Scientology up to OT VIII, the cult's highest level.

But what happens if you ASK a Scientology celebrity or spokesperson about XENU?

They will do everything in their power to:

• Stop you from talking about Xenu
• Distract you from talking about Xenu
• Deny whatever you know about Xenu
• Lie to you about Xenu
• Attack you for talking about Xenu so you "cave in"

This is what they are meticulously trained and indoctrinated to do. They are even extensively rehearsed and repetitively drilled on how to attack you and lie to you about Xenu.

Despite all the training of how to convincingly lie, Scientologists are very, very, very bad at it. Here, take a look at a few examples:

at 2:48

39:03 thru 41:02

starting at 3:52

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[HelluvaHoax!]

A total of 5.03 billion people around the world use the internet today. That means that 63.1 percent of the world's population can read about Scientologist's belief in the XENU HOAX within a few seconds of searching "Scientology".

This is where the fun part comes in. Anyone can READ the OT III materials with their own eyes and listen with their own ears:.

• The church's official confidential typed bulletins.
• Hubbard's confidential hand-written explanation.
• Hubbard's audio-recorded lectures.
• The testimony of hundreds of former Scientologists.

Ergo, there is an overwhelming quantity of proof that the Xenu-Body Thetan "ghost story" is the veery spine and center of all of the advanced "OT LEVELS" in Scientology up to OT VIII, the cult's highest level.

But what happens if you ASK a Scientology celebrity or spokesperson about XENU?

They will do everything in their power to:

• Stop you from talking about Xenu
• Distract you from talking about Xenu
• Deny whatever you know about Xenu
• Lie to you about Xenu
• Attack you for talking about Xenu so you "cave in"

This is what they are meticulously trained and indoctrinated to do. They are even extensively rehearsed and repetitively drilled on how to attack you and lie to you about Xenu.

Despite all the training of how to convincingly lie, Scientologists ] very, very, very bad at it. Here, take a look at a few examples:

at 2:48

39:03 thru 41:02

starting at 3:52

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So, what exactly do all those video interviews with lying Scientology celebs (who refuse to answer questions) prove?

ANSWER: That upper level Scientology OTs never even attained the result of lowly Grade Zero. To wit, Scientologists can explain the "end phenomena" they attained on Grade 0. "The ability to communicate to anyone on any subject." They can describe it. They can F/N on it. They can clay demo it. But they can't do it.

It's the same with all the other "abilities attained" and OT superpowers that Scientologists win and grin about. For example, they can give you a long scientific "intro lecture" about thetans and exteriorization. They just can't do it.

And that is the sad tale of Scientology--the tech that makes the able more able (to pretend & lie).

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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TOP THREE (3) ADVANCED ABILITIES THAT SCIENTOLOGISTS
CAN SUCCESSFULLY DEMONSTRATE WITH THEIR DEMO KIT
AND SUCCESSFULLY DEMONSTRATE IN CLAY—
BUT CANNOT DEMONSTRATE IN REAL LIFE


Exteriorization

Postulates

Total Cause Over Life​

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[SuperstarNeilC]

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

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"These Tone Scales go up to 1.1 80"

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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Winning photo of winning OTs holding up their winning
completion certificates courtesy of MIKE RINDER'S BLOG



Wait! This may not be a huge win. . .

Because, by rapidly routing Scientologists onto and through all the levels
towards Clear & OT—the cult is paradoxically accelerating their own
demise. This happens because approximately 98% of the cult's paying
customers eventually acquire a new and unexpected superpower:

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FREE FUN EXERCISE: Let's do the math! If 100 paying customers join Scientology and 98% eventually blow, that leaves two (2) true believers (i.e. "com laggers") and 98 disgruntled and very "nattery" ex-customers (i.e. "bitter defrocked apostates"). If the 2% keep disseminating and the 98% keep debunking, who wins?

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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[HelluvaHoax!]

Redux - from the old ESMB website


IT'S LIKE SCIENTOLOGISTS ARE BEING
ORDERED TO LIKE GIVE SUCCESS STORIES
THAT LIKE CONTAIN THE WORD LIKE.

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[HelluvaHoax!]

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IT'S LIKE AN ENGRAMIC COMMAND WHERE
THEY LIKE CAN'T STOP SAYING LIKE

I wonder what Billy Blowdown thinks about all these wins?

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[Operating DB]

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IT'S LIKE AN ENGRAMIC COMMAND WHERE
THEY LIKE CAN'T STOP SAYING LIKE

I wonder what Billy Blowdown thinks about all these wins?

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It's like, totally fukced up!